Original subtitles

>> Charles: WELCOME, ALL OF YOU,

TO THE INITIATION OF THE

KLOKATEERS.

THESE FOLLOWING WEEKS WILL BE

THE MOST DIFFICULT WEEKS OF YOUR

LIVES.

SOME OF YOU WILL BE MAIMED, MOST

OF YOU KILLED.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SURVIVE,

YOU'LL GO ON TO OBTAIN THE

SACRED BRANDING THE GEAR.

BUT UNTIL THEN, YOU'RE ALL, UH,

WORTHLESS SCUM.

SO, UM, ROLL THE, UH, VIDEO.

>> HEY, FOLKS, IT'S ME --

FACEBONES!

NOW WE'VE GOTTEN THROUGH ALL THE

BORING STUFF, LET'S HAVE SOME

FUN! NOW LET'S PAIR UP INTO GROUPS OF

TWO PEOPLE AND FIGHT TO THE

DEATH WITH YOUR BARE FISTS.

>> Charles: UH, SORRY I'M LATE.

I WAS ADDRESSING THE NEW

KLOKATEERS...POTENTIAL...

>> Murderface: HEY. HEY. HEY!

>> Charles: YES.

>> Murderface: GIVE ME $50,000.

>> Charles: WELL, UH, WHAT DO

YOU NEED IT FOR?

>> Murderface: FOR [BLEEP]

DORITOS! WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

>> Charles: YOU'VE, UH, BEEN

GIVEN YOUR $100,000 ALLOWANCE

FOR THE WEEK --

>> Murderface: SO WHAT?!

GIVE ME MY [BLEEP] MONEY, MAN!

COUGH IT UP. [BLEEP] THAT!

WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY [BLEEP]

MONEY?! >> Charles: ALL OF YOU ARE

WASTING MONEY BY NOT HAVING FINISHED THIS RECORD.

THAT'S A BIG DEAL, GUYS. YOU'RE DOING ANYTHING BUT

RECORDING. >> Nathan: SO WHAT -- BY SITTING

HERE, WE'RE WASTING MONEY?

>> Charles: YES.

>> Nathan: WE SHOULD BE SAVING

MONEY BY NOT DOING ANYTHING, NOT

WASTING IT.

>> Pickles: ARE YOU SURE YOU

KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

>> Charles: YES, I DO KNOW WHAT

I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU ARE KILLING YOUR OWN

BUSINESS. >> Murderface: YOU'RE BORING ME

TO DEATH WITH BUSINESS! GOD!

>> Charles: WELL, THIS ISN'T

BORING TO ME, GUYS, ALL RIGHT?

I WANT YOU ALL TO LISTEN UP.

THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF, ALL

RIGHT?

IF YOU CONTINUE TO NOT RECORD,

YOUR MONEY -- YOUR MONEY -- WILL CONTINUE TO DWINDLE.

>> Nathan: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

>> Charles: HOW DO I KNOW?

BECAUSE IT'S MY JOB TO KNOW.

I WORK WITH MONEY. IT'S MY JOB.

>> Pickles: HOW LONG HAVE YOU

KNOWN THAT OUR MONEY IS

DWINDLING? I MEAN, YOU -- IT SEEMS LIKE

YOU'RE KEEPING STUFF FROM US.

>> Skwisgaar: YEAH, HE'S

KEEPINGS IT FROMS US. >> Murderface: IT'S VERY

SUSPICIOUS. >> Charles: NO, I'M NOT.

I'M TELLING YOU ABOUT IT RIGHT

NOW -- THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING.

>> Nathan: YEAH, BUT HOW LONG

HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THE STUFF

THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT

YOU'RE STARTING TO TELL US

ABOUT? >> Charles: LOOK, I TRY TO KEEP

YOU GUYS IN THE LOOP WITH THE BUSINESS.

I'VE MANY TIMES BOUGHT -- >> Murderface: BROUGHT WHAT?!

>> Charles: BUT YOU GUYS HAVE A

VERY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. >> Nathan: NO, WE'RE NOT!

>> Charles: OH, YOU'RE NOT W--

WHAT DOES THAT -- THAT'S NOT

EVEN A RESPONSE TO WHAT I WAS

SAYING! >> Pickles: NO, WE'RE NOT!

>> Toki: IT WAS NOT AT ALL! >> Charles: YOU'RE NOT WHAT?

>> Toki: HE GOTS TO ADMITS IT!

HE'S ON THE ROPES! >> Charles: WE'RE ARGUING TWO

DIFFERENT THINGS.

>> Murderface: WELL, WE'RE NOT.

>> Charles: FINE, EVERYONE.

I'M GOING TO ATTEMPT AGAIN,

RIGHT NOW, TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THE

DETHKLOK BUSINESS -- THE

BUDGETS, THE TIMELINES, THE --

>> Nathan: JUST ONE SECOND.

>> Charles: NATHAN? >> Nathan: YES. HOLD ON.

JUST GONNA TEXT A JOKE REAL

QUICK. >> Charles: DO YOU GUYS WANT TO

KNOW ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS OR NOT? >> Murderface: OF COURSE!

WE'RE NOT INCAPABLE OF

UNDERSTANDING THINGS!

WHO -- WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?

>> Charles: GUYS, SERIOUSLY, I'M

NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME IF

YOU DON'T --

>> Skwisgaar: OH, COME ONS.

TELLS US TO US THAT CRAP THAT

YOU WAS GONNA SAYS ABOUT THAT

BORINGS CRAPS, BECAUSE WE, UH...

WE WANTS TO KNOW...THAT.

[ SNORING ]

>> Toki: OH! KNOCKS, KNOCKS.

WHO...

AMS...THERE?

>> Nathan: WHO AMS THERE?

NATHAN.

>> Charles: GUYS.

>> Nathan: NATHAN'S THERE.

>> Toki: NATHANS WHO?

>> Charles: YOU'RE ALL CLEARLY

NOT PAYING ATTENTION. >> Toki: OH, LOOK!

KNOCKS, KNOCKS!

WHO'S AM THERES?

NATHANS.

NATHANS WHO'S?

NATHANS EXPLOSION!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Nathan: [ Laughing ] THAT

WAS -- >> Toki: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOWS...

>> Nathan: TOKI. TOKI.

>> Toki: I WAS LOOKINGS AT YOU

AND DIDN'T KNOWS IT WAS YOU!

>> Nathan: TOKI, THAT WAS ME YOU

TEXTED THAT. >> Toki: I KNOW!

>> Murderface: OH, MAN, THAT'S

CLASSIC! OH, MAN!

THAT'S GOOD [BLEEP] MAN!

>> Nathan: THAT WAS ME WHO

TEXTED THAT TO.

>> Murderface: HOW DID YOU KEEP

A STRAIGHT -- >> Nathan: I HAD TO BITE MY

TONGUE FOR A WHILE, 'CAUSE I WAS

ABOUT TO LAUGH. >> Pickles: IT GOOD.

>> Nathan: BUT THAT WAS ME.

TOKI -- TOKI, THAT WAS ME WHO

TEXTED YOU.

>> Murderface: I DON'T KNOW,

GUYS. MAN, THAT SEEMS LIKE WE SHOULD

BE IN THE LOOP, YOU KNOW?

AND HE KNOWS, MAN -- HE KNOWS WE

HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS.

>> Pickles: HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO

CUT THROUGH OUR BULL[BLEEP] AND

TELL US ANYWAY, RIGHT?

>> Murderface: RIGHT.

DO YOU NOTICE HOW [BLEEP] HARD

IT IS GETTING MONEY -- LIKE,

SPENDING MONEY -- FROM HIM?

>> Nathan: YEAH. NO.

I TRIED THAT.

LIKE, I WAS GONNA GO AND GET

SOME SOCKS -- SOCKS -- SO I

SAID, YOU KNOW, "GIVE ME

$10,000."

>> Murderface: WHAT HAPPENED?

>> Nathan: HE SAID -- HE SAID I

DIDN'T NEED $10,000 FOR SOCKS.

>> Murderface: OH, MAN!

WHAT DID YOU DO?

>> Nathan: I LOOKED AT HIM FOR A

REALLY LONG TIME.

I JUST LOOKED AT HIM, AND THEN I

SLAMMED THE DOOR REAL HARD.

>> Skwisgaar: THAT'S 'CAUSE HE

KNOWS THE FACTS ANDS THE FIGURES.

>> Murderface: SEE, HE OWNS US!

>> Toki: HE'S SO BORINGS THAT

WHEN HE EXPLAINS STUFF, WE JUST

TUNES OUT AND FALLS ASLEEP.

>> Pickles: IT'S LIKE HE TRIES

TO PUT US TO SLEEP SO WE WON'T

FIGURE OUT THE BUSINESS.

>> Murderface: HE KNOWS EXACTLY

WHAT HE'S DOING!

IT'S A VERY DEADLY WEAPON TO

KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

>> Pickles: WE NEED OUR OWN

EXTRA MANAGER THAT CAN TEACH US

ABOUT BUSINESS SO WE CAN LEARN

ABOUT IT SO WE DON'T FEEL SO

STUPID ALL THE TIME.

>> Nathan: ONE THAT LETS US

[BLEEP] DO WHAT WE WANT, TOO.

>> Toki: YEAH, SOMEONES WHO'S

WHAT'S REAL COOL, WHO GIVES US

MONEY WITHS NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

>> Skwisgaar: DOESN'T

SCRUTINMINIZE NOTHIN'.

>> Murderface: YEAH!

SOMEONE ON OUR SIDE!

>> Nathan: YEAH. WHO DO WE GOT?

>> ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> Stampingston: HIS NAME IS

MELMORT FJORDSLORD, AND NOW HE'S

WORKING FOR DETHKLOK.

>> Orlaag: THE VERY ACT OF

HIRING ANOTHER MANAGERIAL FIGURE

COULD SET OFF AN INTERNAL FIRE

THAT COULD MANIFEST ITSELF BY

STEPPING ON TOES.

>> Crozier: A NEW MANAGERIAL

MEMBER COULD EASIER REDIRECT

THEIR POWER IN ANY WAY THAT HE

SEES FIT.

>> Nathan: THIS IS MELMORT.

HE'S GONNA BE HELPING US WITH

THE BUSINESS SO WE CAN LEARN...

THE BUSINESS.

>> Charles: HOW DO YOU DO?

LOOK, THE, UH, HEALTH

INSPECTOR'S HERE TO SURVEY THE

KLOKATEERS' QUARTERS.

YOU MAY AS WELL JOIN HIM.

AND, UH, YOU, MELMORT, SHOW THEM

HOW TO FILL OUT A STATUS REPORT

OF WHAT WE NEED FIXED DOWN

THERE.

>> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP!

FIRST THINGS FIRST!

THE CONDITIONS DOWN HERE ARE

REPUGNANT!

IT'S INFESTED WITH RATS, MOLDS,

AND SOME STRAIN OF FLESH-EATING

VIRUS. >> Nathan: PRETTY METAL.

>> Murderface: PRETTY METAL.

>> OH, IS IT?

YOUR STAFF IS DYING DOWN HERE.

IS THAT METAL?

>> Murderface: I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT YEAH. >> Nathan: YEAH, NOT TO BE

CONTRADICTORY, BUT IT'S VERY

METAL.

>> IS IT METAL TO HAVE YOUR

DRAINS CLOGGED WITH DEAD,

ROTTING EMPLOYEES?

>> Nathan: YEAH. IT IS, ACTUALLY.

>> Murderface: METAL.

>> IS IT METAL TO HAVE EASILY

AVOIDABLE WORK-RELATED ACCIDENTS

THE CAUSE OF DEATH?!

>> Murderface: YEAH.

AGAIN, METAL.

>> IS IT METAL FOR NONE OF YOU

TO CARE AT ALL?

>> Nathan: YEAH, IT'S WAY MORE

METAL IF WE DON'T CARE ABOUT IT.

>> WELL...

I GUESS I, UH, DIDN'T KNOW ALL

THAT STUFF WAS METAL.

ANYWAY, FOLLOW ME.

>> HEY, LET HIM KEEP GOING.

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

THAT'S IT.

MMM.

>> Pickles: IS THAT A JOINT?

>> YOU WANT TO HIT THAT [BLEEP]

I WOULD IF I WASN'T ALREADY

HITTING IT.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

A BAD MOTHER[BLEEP]

OH, HOW [BLEEP] BAD I AM.

I JUST DON'T CARE.

LISTEN, YOU GUYS WANT TO KNOW

HOW BUSINESSES RUN, RIGHT?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

HERE'S THE SECRET TO BUSINESS.

IT'S ALL BULL[BLEEP]

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

OH [BLEEP]

AS LONG AS I'M HERE, MAN, YOU

GUYS CAN DO WHATEVER THE [BLEEP]

IT IS YOU WANT TO DO.

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

HEY, GUYS. THANKS FOR MEETING ME HERE.

>> Toki: OH, WHAT'S UP, PAL?

IT'S THE COOL GUY!

>> Nathan: YEAH, WHAT'S GOING

ON, BRO?

>> NOTHING MUCH, MY MAN,

NOTHING MUCH.

I JUST WANTED TO GET A GAUGE ON

HOW YOU'RE FEELING ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW -- US ALL

WORKING TOGETHER.

BECAUSE [BLEEP] GUYS, I THINK

IT'S GOING GREAT.

>> Murderface: WHOA, MAN.

I MEAN, DUDE, YOU LET US DO

WHATEVER WE WANT.

>> Nathan: YEAH, YOU ALSO HAVE

LONG HAIR AND STUFF, AND, MAN,

YOU DRINK WITH US. DUDE, I MEAN...

>> I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT,

BECAUSE I WAS THINKING THAT,

SINCE WE WORK SO GOOD TOGETHER,

THAT MAYBE WE COULD MAKE THIS A

REAL THING.

AND, YOU KNOW, IT CAN GET

CONFUSING WITH TWO GUYS IN

CHARGE.

MAYBE IT SHOULD JUST BE ME.

WHAT ABOUT THAT?

WHAT IF WE GOT RID OF THE OTHER

GUY, AND IT WAS JUST ME RUNNING

IT? BUT IT'S ALL UP TO YOU AT THE

END OF THE DAY.

I MEAN, IT'S YOUR BAND.

THAT'S SOMETHING OFDENSEN

PROBABLY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO

KNOW. >> Nathan: I GUESS I DIDN'T

REALIZE THAT. HE DOESN'T WANT US TO KNOW THAT.

>> Murderface: THAT'S SOME FOOD

FOR THOUGHT. >> JUST SAYIN'.

LET'S [BLEEP] PARTY.

>> Toki: WELL, I VOTES FOR

MELMORT.

HE SHOULD BE OUR BOSS.

>> Skwisgaar: YEAH, AND HE CAN

HANGS OUT AND LIKES GETTINGS

DRUNK WITH US.

>> Murderface: AND HE'S FUNNY,

MAN! HE DOES GREAT IMPRESSIONS OF

OFDENSEN! >> Nathan: WAIT. HOLD ON.

HOLD ON.

I'M GETTING A TEXT.

"KNOCK, KNOCK.

WHO AMS THERE?

TOKI.

TOKI WHO?

TOKI WARTOOTH.

TOKI WARTOOTH..."

WHERE DO I KNOW THAT?

>> Toki: [ LAUGHS ]

I WAS STARES RIGHT AT YOU!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Nathan: WHO TEXTED ME THIS?

WAIT. WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS TEXTED

THIS? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHO TEXTED ME?

>> Pickles: IT WAS YOU, TOKI!

>> Toki: IT WAS ME THE WHOLES

TIME! >> Skwisgaar: I KNEWS YOU WAS

GOING TO DO THAT!

>> Murderface: MY CHEEKS HURT

FROM CRACKING UP!

>> Skwisgaar: HE TOLD ME HE WAS

GOING TO DOES THAT TO YOU.

>> Nathan: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT

TEXTED ME THAT?

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

[ Laughing ] OH, THAT'S GOOD.

OH, THAT'S FUNNY.

THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Toki: I CAN'TS BREATHE!

I CAN'TS BREATHE! I CAN'TS BREATHE!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Nathan: THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY.

OH, MAN.

>> HEY, I SEE YOU FENCE.

>> Charles: YES, I, UH, FENCED

IN COLLEGE.

CIGAR?

BRANDY?

JUST WANTED TO HAVE A LITTLE

CHAT, SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING.

GETTING ALONG WITH THE BOYS, ARE

YOU?

THEY SEEM TO LIKE YOU.

THAT'S GOOD.

I LIKE IT WHEN THEY'RE HAPPY.

I'VE GROWN QUITE ACCUSTOMED TO

WORKING WITH DETHKLOK, AND, UH,

YOU'D PROBABLY HAVE TO KILL ME

TO GET THEM AWAY FROM ME.

THIS IS GOOD BRANDY.

THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

REALLY GOOD BRANDY.

>> Nathan: PREPARE FOR THE

BRANDING OF THE GEARS.

[ UP-TEMPO INTRODUCTION PLAYS ]

♪ YOU'RE HERE

BECAUSE YOU'RE ONE OF US ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE STRENGTH ♪

♪ WE ARE SOLDIERS ♪

♪ YOU'VE JOURNEYED FAR ♪

♪ YOU'VE BATTLED HARD ♪

♪ AND NOW YOU WILL RECEIVE

YOUR PERMANENT REWARD ♪

♪ YOU'VE CONQUERED PAIN ♪

♪ YOU'VE CONQUERED FEAR ♪

♪ STAND PROUD AND SALUTE

THE BLOODIED FLAG HERE ♪

♪ YOU PLEDGED YOUR DEATH

AND YOUR LAST BREATH ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE GEARS ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE GEARS ♪

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]