Original subtitles

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE TO

PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, FRIEND

OF NASCAR, WILLIAM MURDERFACE!

>> Murderface: IT IS AN HONOR TO

BE HERE!

YOU ARE ALL MY CHILDREN.

GET READY FOR OUR NATION'S

NATIONAL ANTHEM...

[ ZIPPER OPENS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

...PLAYED WITH MY [BLEEP]

[ "THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER"

PLAYS ]

>> Pickles: AW, THAT'S JUST

GROSS.

NOBODY NEEDS TO SEE THAT.

AND HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I

HAVE TO HEAR THE NATIONAL

ANTHEM, YOU KNOW?

>> Nathan: OH, COME ON.

WE TOLD MURDERFACE WE'D WATCH.

>> Pickles: "I'LL DRIVE IN

CIRCLES FOR A WHILE.

THAT'S FUN.

THAT'LL DO 'ER."

>> Nathan: OH, MY GOD!

THAT'S SKWISGAAR AND TOKI!

>> Pickles: OH, LOOK!

THEY'RE TOTALLY DRUNK!

OH, THAT'S AWESOME!

>> AUTHORITIES ARE CONFUSED AS

TO WHY THE CHASE BEGAN.

[ METAL CRUNCHING ]

>> ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> WELL, IT SEEMS THAT

TOKI WARTOOTH AND

SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF HAVE GOTTEN

THEMSELVES INTO SOME LEGAL HOT

WATER. LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT HAD THIS

TO SAY.

>> YOU KNOW, WE WERE PREPARED TO

HUNT DOWN AND SHOOT AND KILL

THESE PEOPLE, BUT THEN WE FOUND

OUT IT WAS DETHKLOK, SO, UH...

YOU KNOW, THAT CHANGES THINGS.

>> WOW, THE COURTS HAVE AGREED

TO FIND THEM NOT GUILTY AS LONG

AS TOKI AND SKWISGAAR GO TO

DRIVING SCHOOL AND GET THEIR

LICENSES.

AND THEY'VE GOT TO DO SOME

COMMUNITY SERVICE.

I WONDER WHAT THAT'S GONNA BE.

IN OTHER NEWS, MURDERFACE'S

NATIONAL ANTHEM BASS SOLO FOR

NASCAR WAS PREEMPTED. TOUGH LUCK, MURDERFACE.

>> Murderface: WHY DO I GET

PREEMPTED?! YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE I'M JUST A STUPID BASS

PLAYER.

WHY DON'T I JUST PLAY BEHIND THE

BASS AMPS?

MAYBE THAT WOULD BE GOOD.

THEN ALBUM SALES WOULD GO UP.

WHO AM I FOOLING?

I DON'T DESERVE THE SPOTLIGHT.

I THOUGHT I COULD MAYBE, JUST

ONCE -- JUST ONCE -- BE IN THE

SPOTLIGHT.

THAT'S ALL I WANT.

JUST ONCE.

>> Charles: EVERYTHING OKAY IN

HERE? >> Skwisgaar: YEAH, BUT WE'S

GOTS TO PLANS THIS WHOLES

CHARITY'S EVENTS THINGS NOW AND

DO'S A LIVES TELEVISED CONCERTS?

>> Toki: YEAH, COMMUNITY SERVICE

SUCKS! >> Skwisgaar: AND THENS WE GOTS

TO GO TO DRIVING SCHOOLS ON TOP

OF THIS!

IT'S TOOS MUCH WORKS!

>> Charles: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE I

CAN HELP OUT.

MURDERFACE HAS BEEN IN HIS ROOM

FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS SULKING

ABOUT THE PREEMPTION OF HIS

NASCAR BASS SOLO.

MAYBE YOU CAN LET HIM PRODUCE

YOUR PUBLIC-SERVICE CHARITY

EVENT.

GIVE HIM A LITTLE SPOTLIGHT, AND

MAYBE EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY.

>> Skwisgaar: AND THENS WE

DON'TS GOTS TO DO IT?

FINES!

>> Charles: UH, NATHAN, PICKLES,

WANT TO WEIGH IN ON THIS STUFF?

LOT OF STUFF GOING ON OVER HERE.

JUST KIND OF NOT PAYING

ATTENTION OVER THERE?

>> Pickles: NOPE.

>> Nathan: NOPE.

OKAY, GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU

NEED ME TO PICK YOU UP.

YOU GUYS GOT YOUR PHONES?

>> Both: YEAH. >> Nathan: EAT ALL YOUR LUNCH

AND DON'T TALK TO ANYBODY.

THERE'S WEIRDOS OUT THERE, OKAY?

>> Both: YEAH.

>> Nathan: ALL RIGHT, BYE!

STUDY HARD!

>> Skwisgaar: HEY, TOKI, I BET

YOUS A MILLIONS BILLIONS DOLLARS

THAT I WILLS BE A BETTERS

DRIVERS THAN YOU.

>> Toki: OH, I BET YOU KRILLIONS

BILLIONS THAT I'S GONNA BE'S THE

BEST ANDS THE FASTEST.

>> Skwisgaar: NO WAYS!

YOUS ARE ON! >> Toki: LET'S GO!

>> Skwisgaar: ALL RIGHT!

[ TIRES SCREECHING, HORN HONKS ]

OH, LOOKS OUTS.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH. THAT'S FUNNY.

>> Murderface: OH, SEE, IT'S

LIKE A NASCAR-TYPE THEATRICAL

HYBRID EVENT WITH CARS!

>> Charles: SO IT'S A CAR RACE.

>> Murderface: YEAH, IT'LL BE

AWESOME! >> Charles: I'M CONFUSED.

YOU WANT TO DO A CAR RACE?

>> Murderface: YES!

BUT, NO.

NOT JUST A CAR RACE --

A CAR EVENT.

IT'S LIKE MEDIEVAL TIMES.

>> Charles: OKAY, SO THERE'S

LIKE JOUSTING AND HORSES --

>> Murderface: NO! NO!

WELL, MAYBE! MAYBE!

GUYS, HELP ME OUT.

>> Pickles: I'LL HELP YOU OUT.

I'LL, UH, HELP YOU OUT, UH...

UH...

MURDERFACE IS, UH...

TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

ABOUT, UH...SOMETHING.

>> Murderface: THANK YOU,

PICKLES. >> Charles: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE

TO DO WITH DETHKLOK?

>> Pickles: WE ARE DETHKLOK!

>> Murderface: I'M IN DETHKLOK!

>> Nathan: I'M NATHAN EXPLOSION

FROM DETHKLOK. >> Pickles: I'M PICKLES THE

DRUMMER FROM DETHKLOK!

IT'S ME TELLING IT TO YOU.

>> Charles: I KNOW THAT.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH

THE MUSIC, THOUGH? >> Murderface: WHO CARES ABOUT

WHAT IT HAS TO DO WITH THE BAND AND THE MUSIC?!

>> Charles: YOUR AUDIENCE CARES. >> Murderface: [BLEEP] THE

AUDIENCE! >> Charles: ARE YOU GUYS ON

BOARD WITH THIS IDEA, REALLY?

>> Nathan: EH, I COULD TAKE IT

OR LEAVE IT. >> Pickles: YEAH, ME, TOO.

>> Charles: GOOD DAY, THEN.

>> Murderface: FINE.

MOTHER [BLEEP] FINE!

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE, AND

YOU'RE JEALOUS!

NOTHING CAN KEEP ME BACK FROM

PRODUCING THE BEST NASCAR

THEATRICAL HYBRID EVENT THE

WORLD'S EVER SEEN!

OH [BLEEP]

>> Stampingston: GENTLEMEN, IT

APPEARS AS IF DETHKLOK IS

SPONSORING THEIR OWN NASCAR-TYPE

THEATRICAL HYBRID EVENT.

IF YOU'D PLEASE TURN YOUR

ATTENTION TO OUR MURDERFACE

EXPERT, DR. GIBBETZ.

>> GENTLEMEN, THE EGO OF THE

BASS PLAYER IS FRAGILE.

HIS EMOTIONAL INSECURITY IS

TRIGGERED BY THE PERCEPTION THAT

HE IS UNLOVED, INADEQUATE, AND

WORTHLESS.

JUST LOOK AT WILLIAM MURDERFACE.

FRIGHTENED, SCARED,

HATE-FILLED -- THE PERFECT

SPECIMEN OF DEVOLUTION --

CRO-MAGNON BROW, DISTENDED JAW,

CLAMMY HANDS, BUCKLED STOMACH,

BACK PIMPLAGE, HITCHHIKER

THUMBS, HAMMER ASSED, FALLEN

ARCHES, CHICKEN-PLUCKED LEGS,

SANDPAPERY, ECZEMA-STYLED SKIN,

DRY, UNKEPT TRIANGLE HAIR.

THIS CREATURE...

...WHIRLING IN THAT MESS...

...SELF-HATRED BUBBLING

INSIDE...

THIS PATHETIC INSECURITY WILL

CAUSE HIM TO WANT TO BE IN

CONTROL.

OF COURSE, THIS WILL BE

OVERRIDDEN BY HIS DOMINANT

LAZINESS, LACK OF CONCENTRATION,

AND POSSIBLE BIPOLAR DISORDER,

WHICH SHOULD MAKE FOR A MOST

DISASTROUS NASCAR-TYPE

THEATRICAL HYBRID EVENT.

>> Toki: I DON'TS KNOWS ABOUT

THIS PLACE.

IT GIVES ME THE CREEPS.

>> Skwisgaar: YEAH.

SOMETHINGS ABOUT THIS JUST

AIN'TS RIGHT.

>> [ SPEAKING JAPANESE ]

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A FILM.

THIS FILM IS CALLED "CRASH SITE

AT THE CORNER OF BLOOD STREET

AND GUTS CIRCLE."

IT IS VERY, VERY BRUTAL.

>> DRIVING A CAR CAN BE FUN.

BUT SOMETIMES IT'S DANGEROUS.

DRINKING AND DRIVING IS A FUN

WAY TO PASS THE TIME, BUT MAYBE

SOMETIMES IT ISN'T SUCH A GOOD

IDEA.

IF THE GOOD LORD WANTED US TO

DRINK AND DRIVE, WE WOULD HAVE

BEEN BORN WITH SLASHED FACES.

FIREMAN JOE'S GONNA HAVE TO

SQUIRT YOUR GUTS TO THE SIDE OF

THE ROAD. THAT'S OKAY.

BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW.

SAY, YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE

AN EXTRA-BIG SPATULA, WOULD YOU?

BILLY'S GOT SOME EGGS -- EGGS

THAT ARE HIS INTESTINES.

WHERE'S GLENDA?

LATE AGAIN?

SHE BETTER DRIVE EXTRA FAST.

OH, NO.

HER TITS ARE ON OATMEAL STREET

AND HER BRAINS ARE ON

WILLOW DRIVE.

THAT'S TWO BLOCKS AWAY.

LONG WAY FOR TITS TO BE AWAY

FROM BRAINS.

HE'S STILL CLUTCHING THE

STEERING WHEEL --

WITH HIS FACE.

EYEBALLS, ANYONE?

WONDER WHAT HE WAS THINKING?

WELL, LOOK AT HIS BRAINS.

MAYBE THAT'LL TELL YOU.

>> OKAY, LET'S DRIVE AND HAVE

SOME FUN.

[ SLICE! ]

>> Charles: MURDERFACE. >> Murderface: OH, HI!

>> Charles: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

IN HERE? >> Murderface: JUST GETTING MY

WORK DONE. >> Charles: WHAT WORK ARE YOU

DOING RIGHT NOW? >> Murderface: UH, YEAH, FOR THE

SHOW, EVERYTHING.

>> Charles: WELL, THE IMPRESSION

I'M GETTING FROM YOU IS THAT YOU

DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

>> Murderface: OH, NO. NOT TRUE.

>> Charles: YOU'RE VERY LATE APPROVING ALL THE PRODUCTION

DESIGN. >> Murderface: YEAH.

>> Charles: YOU HAVE TO DO THAT. >> Murderface: YEAH.

>> Charles: AND YOU'VE LOOKED AT THE SCHEDULE?

>> Murderface: YEAH. >> Charles: OKAY, AND WHAT --

>> Murderface: FINE. >> Charles: YOU APPROVED THE --

>> Murderface: APPROVED. >> Charles: YOU HAVE A PRESS

CONFERENCE IN FIVE MINUTES.

OKAY, THIS IS THE ASSOCIATED

PRESS, ALL RIGHT? YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

>> Murderface: YEAH. >> Charles: THERE'S A LOT OF

PEOPLE HERE, ALL RIGHT? THEY'RE CONFUSED BY YOUR IDEA,

SO YOU HAVE TO SET THEM

STRAIGHT, OKAY? >> Murderface: YEAH.

>> Charles: AND YOU'LL REMEMBER

TO DO THE INSURANCE?

>> Murderface: GOT IT.

>> Charles: SHOULD DO THAT NOW.

>> Murderface: I'LL DO IT NOW.

>> Charles: WE'LL DO IT RIGHT

AFTER THE PRESS CONFERENCE. >> Murderface: RIGHT AFTER.

>> Charles: OKAY. >> Murderface: OKAY.

>> Charles: I DID MY JOB.

>> Murderface: OKAY.

>> PLEASE PULL FORWARD NOW.

>> Toki: NO, I LETS THAT GUY GO

FIRST.

>> BUT NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

>> Toki: AFTER THIS GUY.

>> YOU HAVE RIGHT OF WAY.

>> Toki: AFTER THAT GUY.

YOU GO'S AHEAD!

>> LET'S GO, DOUCHE BAG!

>> Skwisgaar: LEAVES HIMS ALONE!

>> Toki: [ CRYING ]

I CAN'TS DO IT.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> Murderface: OH, I-I CAN'T GO

OUT THERE!

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN CHARGE

BEFORE! LOOK, I'M NERVOUS.

OH, I'M SO NERVOUS!

OH, GOD.

>> Pickles: RELAX. I SEE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HEY, TAKE ONE OF THESE.

IT'S A SPECIAL PILL -- SLOWS

DOWN YOUR HEART.

>> Murderface: MY HEART'S TOO

FAST, HUH? >> Nathan: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE

DONE THAT. HE'S GONNA GET ALL WEIRD AND

SLURRY AND SLOW. >> Pickles: NO, HE'S NOT.

IT'S GOT A LITTLE BIT OF SPEED

WITH ANGEL DUST TO COUNTERACT

THE LOW WITH A HINT OF COKE AND

A SPLASH OF [BLEEP] AND GIGGLES,

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.

YOU FEEL BETTER?

>> Murderface: YOW, YOW.

[ MUMBLING ]

>> WAIT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE, WHAT --

A NASCAR-TYPE THEATRICAL HYBRID

EVENT?

>> Murderface: [ MUMBLING ]

>> Nathan: YOU THINK YOU MAYBE

GAVE HIM TOO MUCH PILLS?

>> Pickles: YEAH, NO, IT'S WHAT

I TAKE IF I HAVE TO DO A THING.

>> Nathan: HUH, GUESS HE JUST

CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE.

KIND OF FEEL BAD FOR HIM.

HE'S KIND OF BIT OFF MORE THAN

HE CAN CHEW, BUT, UH...

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GO MAKE HIM

[BLEEP] HIS PANTS.

>> Pickles: YEAH, OKAY.

>> AND DETHKLOK -- WHAT'S THEIR

INVOLVEMENT?

>> Murderface: [ STAMMERING ]

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

>> YOU BOTH FAILED YOUR DRIVING

TESTS. >> Skwisgaar: BUT THAT'S

UNS-POSSIBLES. >> NO, IT ISN'T.

YOU DIDN'T DRIVE ANYWHERE.

>> Toki: IT'S SCARY!

>> I KNOW. YOU KEEP TELLING ME.

>> Skwisgaar: WHYS DID I'S FAIL?

>> YOU WOULDN'T EVEN SIT IN THE

FRONT SEAT. >> Skwisgaar: IT'S SO SCARIES UP

THERES! >> HOW YOU GONNA DRIVE BACK

SEAT?! >> Skwisgaar: RACIST!

>> WELL, [BLEEP] YOU, TOO.

I'M LEAVING.

>> Skwisgaar: GREAT, WE SUPPOSED

TO DRIVES THE DOUBLE-NECKS

GUIT-CARS AT MURDERFACE'S SHOWS

TOMORROWS NIGHTS, BUT WE'S TOO

DAMNED SCAREDS.

>> Toki: SCAREDS LIKES LITTLE

CHICKEN. >> WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER

HYBRID THEATRICAL TOURNAMENT,

PRODUCED UNDER THE SUPERVISION

AND GUIDANCE OF

WILLIAM MURDERFACE!

>> Nathan: ♪ DIE, TONIGHT ♪

♪ YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT ♪

♪ YOU'RE IN A STEEL

SARCOPHOGUS ♪ ♪ YOU'RE TRAPPED IN TRAFFIC,

LOSING LIFE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN'T MOVE ♪

♪ THE HORNS RING LOUDER IN YOUR

EAR ♪ ♪ YOU'LL DIE HERE WAITING,

THAT'S YOUR FATE ♪ ♪ YOU'RE MURDERED BY THE

INTERSTATE ♪

>> 1 KRILLION HEX-CADES AGO, IN

AN ANCIENT, FARAWAY NETHERVERSE

DWELLED AN ANCIENT ALIEN

CIVILIZATION DEVOTED TO MAKING

STEEL BEASTS WITH WHEELS OF FIRE

AND ENGINES LIKE PULSING DEVIL

HEARTS!

WHAT WERE THESE HELL

CONTRAPTIONS?

THEY WERE GODS!

TOMNATHAN FALCONCRAMMER FROM THE

BLACK TEAM.

UNO VON GALAXOR FROM THE PURPLE

TEAM!

HANS ENGINEHEART FROM THE YELLOW

TEAM!

AND MAXAZILLION WHEELBLAZER FROM

THE GREEN TEAM!

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

[ CHEERING ]

>> Both: WHO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-A!

>> Murderface: [ STAMMERING ]

>> Nathan: THIS EVENT'S A TOTAL

CATASTROPHE.

WE SHOULD GET HIM TO [BLEEP] HIS

PANTS. >> Pickles: [BLEEP] YOUR PANTS!

>> Murderface: [ MUTTERING ]

[BLEEP] MY PANTS!