Original subtitles

>> BIG DETHKLOK-RELATED NEWS

TODAY IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA.

THE HEAD OF DETHKLOK AUSTRALIA

WAS VIOLENTLY ASSASSINATED BY A

TEAM OF TERRORISTS WHO ARE

REFERRING TO THEMSELVES AS THE

REVENGENCERS.

DETHKLOK HAD NO COMMENT.

>> Nathan: OKAY, SUBPOENA,

SUBPOENA, SUBPOENA, NETFLIX --

AWESOME.

NAKED-LADY FAN MAIL -- POSSIBLY

AWESOME, POSSIBLY HORRIBLE.

SUBPOENA.

OH, WHAT'S THIS? PICKLES.

>> Pickles: OH.

>> HEY, PICKLES.

IT'S YOUR BROTHER, SETH.

AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE, AND I

KNOW WE'VE HAD SOME TOUGH TIMES,

BUT I'VE REALLY CHANGED.

CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE.

I'M SOBER NOW, AND WITH MY NEW

CLARITY, I'VE FOUND THE WORLD IS

AN AWESOME AND WONDERFUL PLACE.

I'M GETTING MARRIED, AND WE WANT

YOU AND DETHKLOK TO COME TO OUR

WEDDING.

REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR HEART.

>> Nathan: ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> Stampingston: IT APPEARS AS

IF DETHKLOK IS PARTICIPATING IN

A WEDDING.

GENERAL CROZIER.

>> Crozier: PICKLES' BROTHER,

SETH, WAS RECENTLY RELEASED FROM

WISCONSIN STATE PRISON AFTER

SERVING EIGHT MONTHS FOR DRIVING

INTOXICATED, SELLING FAKE

COCAINE TO AN UNDERCOVER

OFFICER, AND BEATING A

PROSTITUTE WITH A BRICK.

>> Orlaag: SETH IS A VIOLENT

PATHOLOGICAL LIAR AND CHARLATAN.

I BELIEVE HIS REASONS FOR

MARRIAGE MAY SIMPLY BE FOR A

CHANCE TO REUNITE WITH HIS

BROTHER'S WEALTH.

>> Stampingston: GENTLEMEN, OUR

WEDDING EXPERT, DR. MILMINAMAN-

LANILIM-SWINWAMLY.

DR. MILMINAMAN-

LANILIM-SWINWAMLY?

>> GENTLEMEN, THE AMERICAN

WEDDING IS A DARK AND FEARFUL

SHAM.

THE EVENT ITSELF IS DESIGNED TO

INCITE ANGER AND DRAIN LOVED

ONES OF PATIENCE, SUPPORT, AND

MONEY.

MOST MARRIAGES FAIL MISERABLY IN

TWO YEARS.

OTHERS END IN MURDER-SUICIDES.

A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THEM END

WITH A TERM WE LIKE TO CALL

"LIVABLE HATRED."

>> Orlaag: MARRIAGE HAS ALWAYS

BEEN A BLACK AND REPUGNANT SORE

ON HUMAN LIVING.

>> SINCE THE EARLY 1900s,

MARRIAGE HAS BEEN SPUN BY THE

VENDORS AND MARKETERS.

THE PEOPLE THAT FIND IT THE MOST

ATTRACTIVE ARE WEDDING PLANNERS,

CratenBarrel, AND THE VARIOUS

RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS.

>> Crozier: DETHKLOK SHOULD BE

KEPT AS FAR AWAY FROM THE

INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE AS

POSSIBLE.

MARRIAGE IS SUFFERING ENOUGH.

>> Selatcia: WE MUSTN'T

INTERVENE, GENERAL.

WE WILL ALLOW DETHKLOK TO

EXPERIENCE THE BLACKNESS.

>> Murderface: WELL, NORMALLY I

DREAD AN EVENT LIKE THIS, BUT

SEEING HOW KNOTTED UP IT'S

GOTTEN YOU, PICKLES, I'M SURE I

WILL ENJOY IT.

>> Nathan: YEAH, IT'S FUN TO

WATCH SOMEBODY GO THROUGH FAMILY

HELL. >> Skwisgaar: WEDDINGS ARE ONLY

GOOD FOR TWO THINGS -- TAX

BREAKS AND ADULTERY.

THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

>> Toki: AND KISSINGS AND

HUGGINGS. AND OPENS BARS.

>> Skwisgaar: YEAH, BUT, TOKI,

REMEMBER, TAKES IT EASY.

LAST TIME, I WAS IN CHARGE OF

YOUS ALL NIGHT.

AND YOUS WAS A SLOPPYS MESS!

>> Toki: YOU DON'TS GOTS TO

WORRY ABOUT OLD TOKI.

>> Nathan: DON'T TAKE THIS THE

WRONG WAY, PICKLES, BUT YOUR --

YOUR BROTHER'S KIND OF, UM...

KIND OF A WEIRD GREEDY DICK, YOU

KNOW?

>> LOOK, PICKLES.

LOOK HOW GREAT YOUR BROTHER'S

DOING. >> Pickles: OH, WHERE AM I

LOOKING? >> LOOK AT HIS HOUSE ROOM.

>> Pickles: WELL, YOU CONVERTED

THE ATTIC.

>> LOOK, HE HAS AN ALL-IN-ONE

FAX MACHINE.

HE'S A PROFESSIONAL.

GO GIVE HIM A HUG.

>> FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT

[BLEEP] HUGGING YOUR OWN

BROTHER?

BEING CLOSE TO HIS [BLEEP] FACE

LIKE THIS.

YOU GOT A COUPLE OF BONES TO

[BLEEP] PROCURE SOME [BLEEP]

[BLEEP] GUYS?

I MEANT TO RESTOCK THE

MINI FRIDGE.

YOU KNOW, RUN OUT OF TIME.

>> Pickles: WHOA, UH, YEAH,

HERE'S, UH...

>> GIVE ME TWO, YOU KNOW, FIVE

HUNDIE.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE, YOU KNOW, I

DON'T WANT TO SELL THIS SHORT,

YOU HEAR?

I GOT [BLEEP] DETHKLOK IN MY

[BLEEP] HOUSE ROOM!

HA!

[BLEEP] MITCH AND BOBBY AREN'T

GONNA [BLEEP] BELIEVE THIS.

[BLEEP] EXCITED ABOUT YOU GUYS

THROWING ME A BACHELOR PARTY!

[BLEEP]

OH, AND BY THE WAY, THIS IS

LITTLE AMBER, THE LOVE OF MY

[BLEEP] HEART.

ISN'T SHE AN ANGEL?

TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND.

>> Nathan: BOY, THERE'S NOTHING

LIKE LOVE, IS THERE?

>> Toki: OH, NO, IT'S GREAT.

>> Murderface: HE'S REALLY GONNA

BE A GOOD HUSBAND.

>> Pickles: SHOULD I BE WORRIED?

I MEAN, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S

DRINKING. HE SAID HE'S NOT DRINKING

ANYMORE. >> Murderface: I'M SURE HE'S

TRUE TO HIS WORD.

>> Nathan: HE'S HAVING A LOT OF

ALCOHOL, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN

HE'S OFF THE WAGON.

>> Toki: AND WHO ARE THOSE

GOOFBALLS? >> Pickles: OH, THOSE ARE SETH'S

PALS, YOU KNOW?

A COUPLE OF HIGH-SCHOOL DROPOUTS

WHO SCAM ON TEENAGE CHICKS AND

STEAL AND RUN CRYSTAL-METH

HOUSES.

YOU KNOW, BEAT UP KIDS, ROB,

LIE, POSSIBLY KILL.

>> Murderface: AWESOME!

>> LET'S GO, RICH BITCH!

>> HEY [BLEEP] THROW DOWN SOME

CASH. WE'RE GETTING SETH A [BLEEP]

LAP DANCE. >> YEAH, RICH BITCH.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

[ Slurring ] YEAH!

LADIES AND [BLEEP] GENTLEMEN,

MMM!

I WANT TO INVITE YOU TO [BLEEP]

CHECK OUT MY BROTHER PICKLES.

[ LAUGHS ]

[BLEEP] DETHKLOK.

AND, WELL, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T

KILL US.

[ MUMBLING ]

...MY BROTHER.

[ MUMBLING ]

...[BLEEP] HARD LIFE, YOU KNOW.

AND THEN -- AND, LIKE [BLEEP]

GIVE [BLEEP] TO HIM THE [BLEEP]

MOST AMAZING GIFT --

THE GIFT OF EROS.

>> HOW ABOUT AN H-JOB?

>> Skwisgaar: HEY, PICKLE!

TRYS NOT TO GET HEPATITIS C FROM

THATS! HEY, THOSE GIRLS ARE PRETTY

SKANKYS. >> Nathan: YEAH, THOSE GIRLS

ARE -- I'D DO THEM.

>> Skwisgaar: YES, I'D DO THEMS,

TOO. >> Pickles: SHOULD WE CALL IT A

NIGHT? >> OH, NO, YOU [BLEEP] DON'T!

I JUST [BLEEP] ORDERED SHOTS.

>> EVERYBODY, CAN WE HAVE YOUR

ATTENTION?

SETHY WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING.

>> I JUST WANT TO MAKE A LITTLE

[BLEEP] SPEECH, YOU KNOW.

>> ALL RIGHT, SETH!

>> WEDDING-REHEARSAL DINNER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ANYWAY, HERE GOES.

MY BIG BROTHER GOT EVERYTHING IN

LIFE, AND I GOT [BLEEP]

[ CHUCKLES ]

EVERYTHING WAS [BLEEP] HANDED TO

HIM ON A SILVER [BLEEP] PLATTER.

THINGS ARE GONNA BE [BLEEP]

DIFFERENT.

I GOT MY [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

TOGETHER NOW.

I GOT A [BLEEP] WIFE AND A

[BLEEP] MOUTH TO FEED ON THE

WAY, SO IT MAKES ME [BLEEP]

RESPONSIBLE, YOU KNOW.

AND I GOT -- I ALSO GOT SEVERAL

[BLEEP] BUSINESS ENDEAVORS, YOU

KNOW, COMING UP WITH DETHKLOK.

IT'S ALL GOOD, YOU KNOW.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT

[BLEEP] DETHKLOK GOT ME FOR A

WEDDING GIFT. THANK YOU!

>> WAY TO GO, SETH!

>> Nathan: HE'S TRYING TO

ESCAPE! >> Pickles: NO!

NO! NO!

>> Nathan: WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA

RUN AWAY AND LEAVE US HERE?

>> Pickles: I DIDN'T KNOW!

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE

LIKE THIS! I DIDN'T KNOW! I DIDN'T KNOW!

>> Murderface: A WEDDING!

A FAMILY WEDDING! >> Pickles: [ CRIES ]

STOP HITTING ME!

>> Murderface: CAN'T HELP IT!

>> Pickles: DID YOU HEAR THAT

SPEECH? EVERYBODY'S ON HIS SIDE.

THEY -- LET'S LEAVE. LET'S LEAVE NOW.

LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

>> Nathan: DON'T BE STUPID,

PICKLES. >> Pickles: DID YOU HEAR HIM

TALKING ABOUT DETHKLOK BUSINESS

ENDEAVORS? >> Nathan: I KNOW, PICKLES.

I KNOW.

LOOK, WE CAN'T LEAVE.

NOT YET.

IT'S JUST TOO FUNNY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Murderface: HILARIOUS!

>> Nathan: IT'S REALLY GOOD.

>> HEY, PICKLES!

I NEED YOUR, YOU KNOW, CRACK CAR

FOR A SECOND.

>> Nathan: HE'S GETTING AWAY

AGAIN! GET HIM!

>> Pickles: NO! NO! NO!

>> DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE

GATHERED HERE TODAY TO JOIN IN

HOLY MATRIMONY SETH AND AMBER.

>> Skwisgaar: HEH, THE MIDWEST.

WHOA.

A BUNCH OF SWEDES CAME HERE OVER

200 YEARS AGO AND GOT FAT AND

UGLY. I LOVES IT.

>> Toki: OH, YOU KNOW IT!

[ LAUGHS ]

FATS AND UGLY!

>> Skwisgaar: TAKES IT EASY ON

THE SAUCE.

>> Toki: OH, YOUS TAKES IT EASY

ON THE SAUCE.

YOU'RE NOTS THE BOSS OF ME.

I GONNA GO GETS ANOTHER.

YOU WANTS ONE? >> Skwisgaar: YEAH.

>> HEY, HEY.

YOU KNOW, THERE SOMETHING

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW.

YOU'RE MUSICIANS.

YOU CAN HELP ME OUT.

UH, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN THE GUITAR AND THE BASS

GUITAR?

>> Toki: ME GONNA DO SOLO

ALBUMS.

ALL TOKI.

GONNA BE CALLED "TOKI."

IT'S THE KING! ALL DONE.

MMM.

OH, I GONNA THROWS UP.

THROWS UP AND TAKES A NAP.

GOOD NIGHTS! >> I GOT A NIECE.

SHE'S THINKING OF GOING TO ART

SCHOOL. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IS THAT SOMETHING YOU THINK THAT

MIGHT HELP OUT AT ALL?

YOU GUYS GOT THAT LONG HAIR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

MY MOM HAD LONG HAIR.

DOES THE STRETCH PANTS HURT WHEN

YOU SING?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE TO LEARN?

TO PLAY THE PIANO WITHOUT A

COLOR CHART.

♪ BLUE, ORANGE, GREEN ♪

♪ BLUE, BLUE ♪ ♪ BLUE, ORANGE ♪

>> Murderface: OH, LOOK, IT'S

[BLEEP] FACE AND DILDO LICKER.

>> Nathan: OH, THANK GOD.

WHAT'S UP, DILDOS?

>> HEY, WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF

[BLEEP] ALCOHOL!

>> YEAH, IT'S ALL GONE.

>> Nathan: OH, YOU WANT TO TALK

TO PICKLES RIGHT OVER THERE.

>> ALL RIGHT, QUIET DOWN,

EVERYBODY.

I GUESS PICKLES' BAND IS GONNA

PLAY. >> Nathan: ♪ I WOULD LIKE TO

TAKE THIS TIME TO SAY

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE TWO OF

YOU ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE A VISION OF

HELL ♪

♪ DEATH WILL DO YOU PART ♪

♪ NOW KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE ♪

♪ SO GLAD, SUCH A BIG STEP

YOU MADE ♪ ♪ TIED THE KNOT,

ROTTING BLACKENED VEINS ♪

♪ OPEN BAR HAS CLOSED FOREVER ♪

♪ SPEND YOUR [BLEEP] LIVES

TOGETHER ♪

♪ TIME PASSES ♪

♪ WE ROT ♪

♪ GOOD RIDDANCE ♪

♪ MY OWN THOUGHTS ♪

♪ TRAPPED IN A CAGE ♪

♪ BEHIND THE FENCES ♪

♪ MUST YOU COMPLETE ♪

♪ ALL OF MY SENTENCES? ♪

[ INSTRUMENTAL SOLO ]

♪ ONLY WAY OUT IS YOUR DEATH ♪

>> WELL, THIS IS THE BIG [BLEEP]

MOMENT.

THE [BLEEP] BIG GIFT FROM

DETHKLOK.

WONDER WHAT IT'S GONNA BE, YOU

KNOW?

SHOULD I OPEN IT?

>> OPEN THE GIFT!

>> I THINK IT'S GONNA BE [BLEEP]

SWEET! >> Toki: OPENS IT!

>> ALL RIGHT.

[BLEEP]

[BLEEP] HERE GOES NOTHING.

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS [BLEEP]

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS [BLEEP]

YOU [BLEEP] PENNY-PINCHING

[BLEEP]

>> Toki: IT'S WHAT YOU

REGISTERED FOR AT CratenBarrel!

>> [BLEEP] PICKLES!

YOU [BLEEP] PIECE OF [BLEEP]

HOW [BLEEP] DARE YOU COME AND

RUIN MY [BLEEP] WEDDING?!

>> Pickles: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S

IT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

AAH!

AAH!

>> Nathan: THIS IS GREAT.

THIS IS SOME GOOD DRAMA.

>> Murderface: YOU CAN'T PAY FOR

THIS. >> Nathan: NO, YOU CAN'T.

IT JUST SIMPLY IS.

>> Murderface: IT'S LIKE AN

ECLIPSE OR SOMETHING. YOU GOT TO BE THERE.

>> Nathan: YOU GOT TO BE THERE.

>> Skwisgaar: GUYS, WE BETTERS

LEAVES! THE COPS IS HERES!

>> Toki: YEAH, THE PIGS' SIRENS IS GOING OFFS!

SCRAMBLES!

>> Pickles: WILL YOU GUYS QUIT

STARING AT ME, PLEASE?

>> Murderface: I'VE NEVER SEEN

SO MUCH BLOOD AT A WEDDING.

AWESOME. >> Nathan: MAN, YOU REALLY BEAT

UP YOUR BROTHER. THAT WAS PRETTY COOL.

>> Pickles: BUT, DUDE, I FEEL

BAD FOR HIM.

>> Nathan: BUT YOU JUST BEAT HIM

UP. IT WAS AWESOME.

WHY WOULD YOU -- >> Pickles: I DON'T KNOW WHY.

I FEEL BAD FOR HIM. I HATE IT.

>> Skwisgaar: OH, BUT IT'S NOTS

SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE, FOR, YOU

SEES, WE ARE AIMLESS HATE-FILLED

ANIMALS SCAMPERING AWAY INTO THE

NIGHTS.

>> Toki: THAT'S RIGHT.

FOR, YOU SEE, THAT'S WHATS

FAMILYS IS.

PEOPLES WHATS YOU HATES.

>> Pickles: YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE

RIGHT. >> Charles: YOU, UH, WANTED TO

SEE ME. >> Pickles: LOOK, I FEEL BAD

ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

CAN'T WE JUST GIVE MY BROTHER A

JOB AND JUST GET HIM OFF --

>> Murderface: OH, Y-YOU

REALLY -- YOU REALLY WANT THAT

GUY WORKING FOR US?

THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY

TO SOLVE IT.

>> Charles: WELL, ACTUALLY,

PICKLES, IF YOU WANT TO INVOLVE

YOUR BROTHER IN THE DETHKLOK

COMPANY, THERE MAY BE A JOB

OPENING -- A VERY DANGEROUS JOB

OPENING VERY FAR AWAY.

BUT IF YOU WERE OKAY WITH THIS,

HE COULD BE PLACED IN CHARGE OF

DETHKLOK AUSTRALIA.