Original subtitles

[ CRACK ]

>> AHHH!

>> Selatcia: IS THERE A

SECRET ENTRANCE INTO MORDHAUS?

>> YOU'LL NEVER GET IN.

YOU'LL DIE FIRST.

[ COUGHS ] [ LAUGHS ]

>> Selatcia: WHY ARE YOU

LAUGHING?

>> BECAUSE I JUST SWALLOWED A

CYANIDE PILL.

[ GURGLES ]

>> Selatcia: AHHHH!

>> ♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK ♪

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> AH, COOL, DETHKLOK MP3s.

"DOWNLOAD THIS ALBUM ILLEGALLY,

YOUR CONSEQUENCES ARE GRAVE."

[ LAUGHS ] YEAH, RIGHT.

CLICK.

OH, IT'S GONNA TAKE AWHILE.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IN THE

MEANTIME?

OH, I GUESS I'LL JACK OFF.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

[ SLOW MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> AHH!

>> NOW! GO.

>> MOMMY-Y-Y!

>> Stampingston: GENTLEMEN,

DETHKLOK HAS TAKEN THE LAW INTO

ITS OWN HANDS.

>> Crozier: PREPOSTEROUS.

>> BUT THEY ARE WELL WITHIN

THEIR RIGHTS, GENERAL CROZIER.

>> Stampingston: WORLD LEADERS

ARE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THEY

NEED TO KEEP DETHKLOK HAPPY, AND

SO THEY DID JUST THAT.

THERE IS A PURCHASE AND THIEVING

CLAUSE THAT WAS BACKED BY THE

UNITED NATIONS THIS YEAR THAT

ALLOWS DETHKLOK TO ACT AS A

POLICE FORCE.

>> Crozier: JUST BECAUSE THE

UNITED NATIONS CAN BE BOUGHT OFF

DOESN'T MEAN IT'S RIGHT.

>> IT'S NOT ABOUT RIGHT OR

WRONG, GENERAL.

AT THIS POINT, IT SIMPLY IS.

>> Stampingston: GENTLEMEN, WE

HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT

DETHKLOK HAS A SECRET PRISON

WING DEEP WITHIN THE UNDERBELLY

OF MORDHAUS DEDICATED TO

INCARCERATING CRIMINALS OF MUSIC

AND INTELLECTUAL PROPERTIES.

>> Crozier: THERE ARE RUMORS

THAT DETHKLOK HAS EMPLOYED

SCIENTISTS TO WORK AS IN-HOUSE

DEVELOPERS IN SOUND TECHNOLOGY.

THIS COULD BE POTENTIALLY

DANGEROUS.

[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> IT'S TOO LOUD!

>> HOW'S THIS?

>> AHHH!

[ SILENCE ]

>> Dick: SO, UH, THAT'S JUST A

ROUGH MIX OF SOME OF THE STUFF

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON.

[ ALL SIGHING ]

>> NOT TOO TERRIBLY WONDERFUL,

IS IT, NOW?

AM I WRONG?

>> Murderface: NO, NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S LACKING.

>> Nathan: YEAH, YEAH.

IT'S LIKE IT'S --

DOES IT SOUND TOO CONFINED?

>> Skwisgaar: TOO CONFINED.

>> Pickles: IT'S TOO DIGITAL.

>> Murderface: YEAH, TOO

DIGITAL.

>> Nathan: YEAH, IT'S TOO

DIGITAL.

>> Murderface: SORRY IF WE HAVE

VERY LEARNED, SENSITIVE, MUSICAL

EARS.

>> Skwisgaar: YEAH, TOKI IS

RIGHT.

SORRY IF WE GOTS VERY GOOD EARS.

>> Murderface: MURDERFACE. I'M MURDERFACE.

THAT'S MY VOICE. >> Toki: IT SOUNDS LIKE

MICROCHIPS.

>> Nathan: YEAH, PICKLES IS

RIGHT -- YOU KNOW, WHO IS

CLEARLY THE ONE WHO SAID THAT.

>> Toki: I JUST SAID THAT, NOT

PICKLE.

>> Nathan: THAT'S A GOOD PICKLES

IMPRESSION, THAT'S FOR SURE.

RIGHT, PICKLES?

I SAID RIGHT, PICKLES?!

>> Pickles: IT SOUNDS LIKE

MICROCHIPS IN ONES AND ZEROS.

>> Dick: YOU GUYS ARE ALL

[BLEEP] DEAF, YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN ANYTHING.

CAN YOU [BLEEP] HEAR ME?

CAN ANY OF YOU [BLEEP] HEAR ME?

>> Pickles: ANYWAY, WE BEEN

WORKING ON SOME NEW TECHNOLOGY

TO GET BACK TO ANALOG.

>> Toki: YEAH, FOLLOWS US.

[ SLOW RHYTHM AND BLUES MUSIC

PLAYS ]

[ BUZZ ]

>> HELLO, EVERYONE.

WE'VE BEEN WORKING ON SEVERAL

NEW PROTOTYPES -- HOVER DRUMS,

LASER-STRING GUITARS, ELECTRONIC

STD RADAR NAVIGATIONAL DILDO

HELMETS. >> Toki: I CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

>> Skwisgaar: NO, YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

>> BUT WHAT WE'RE MOST PROUD OF

IS THE H-E-A-R-D.

>> HYDRO ELECTRONIC --

HYDRO -- YOU SAY THE NEXT WORD.

>> ELECTRIC...

>> AUDIO...

>> RECORDINATIONAL...

>> DEVICE.

WE SAY "DEVICE" TOGETHER.

REMEMBER?

WE WORKED IT OUT THIS WAY.

>> HYDRO...NO, YOU.

>> ELECTRONIC...

NOW YOU. >> HYDRO...

>> NO, YOU GO TO THE NEXT --

>> YOU SAY "HYDRO."

>> HYDRO... >> ELECTRIC...

>> AUDIO...

>> RECORDINATIONAL...

>> Both: DEVICE.

TO PUT IT PLAINLY, WE'RE

RECORDING ON THE PUREST ANALOG

FORMAT OF ALL.

>> WAT--

UH, SORRY.

>> PURE -- [ SIGHS ]

>> SORRY.

>> PURE --

SORRY.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I'M NOT A MIND READER.

>> H20.

>> TWO PORTIONS HYDROGEN...

>> ONE PORTION...

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY THE WHOLE

THING MYSELF.

I THOUGHT WE AGREED I WAS GOING

TO SAY THAT PART.

>> CONTINUE.

>> TWO PORTIONS HYDROGEN, ONE

PORTION OXYGEN.

>> EQUALS PURE WATER.

>> PURE WATER. >> WATER.

>> YES.

AND TO WHICH WHAT, WE WILL BE

SOON RECORDING AN ALBUM ON.

>> Dick: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

>> OH, DEAR.

>> THIS IS A LABORATORY, WHERE

THE IMPOSSIBLE BECOMES POSSIBLE.

IT'S OUR JOB TO RENDER...

>> Nathan: CHECK, CHECK.

>> OBSERVE.

BEGIN.

[ WHIRRING ]

>> Nathan: CHECK, CHECK.

CHECK THREE.

CHECK, CHECK.

[ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ LIQUID POURS ]

>> AND HERE IT IS.

WITHIN THIS CONTAINER IS THE

TRACK -- LIQUID PURITY.

[ MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Dick: WOW, THAT'S AMAZING.

>> MY BROTHER...

WE ARE THE JOHN FU BROTHERS,

PROPRIETORS OF

diefordethklok.com.

>> WE WANT YOU TO PAY FOR A GOOD

REVIEW ON OUR WEBSITE.

>> WE ARE THE FANS.

WE ARE THE POWER.

WE'LL GIVE YOU THE SONG BACK

WHEN WE GET THE MONEY.

YES, MY BROTHER, DO NOT FEAR.

THEY WILL PAY.

BEHOLD!

>> Dick: ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

GUYS, GUYS, I JUST TRANSFERRED

ALL THE TRACKS -- EVERYTHING

WE'VE RECORDED SO FAR -- ONTO

WATER.

OKAY? IT'S ALL ON WATER.

SO, MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD TAKE

FIVE ON THE MESSING AROUND,

OKAY?

>> Murderface: HEY, HEY, YOU

TAKE FIVE.

WE'RE EXPERIMENTING.

IT'S CREATIVE.

>> Dick: NOW, YOU GUYS ARE ALL

REALLY DRUNK RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

I'M JUST WORRIED THAT YOU'RE

GONNA MESS --

>> Murderface: HEY, WHY DON'T

YOU HAVE A DRINK AND RELAX?

YOU EVER THINK OF THAT, YOU

[BLEEP] TIGHTWAD?

>> Toki: YEAH, YOU'RE A

TIGHTWAD.

>> Murderface: COPYCAT.

>> Dick: HEY, WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

ME HAVE A DRINK?

I'M DRUNK ALL THE TIME, THANK

YOU VERY MUCH. OKAY?

RIGHT NOW, I'M TRIPPING BALLS,

OKAY?

I'M FREAKING THE [BLEEP] OUT,

OKAY?

SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, ALL

RIGHT?

>> Nathan: HEY, RECORD THIS.

READY?

READY? READY? OKAY.

[ WHIRRING ]

>> PPPBBBTTT.

OH, AH, OH, LA LA LA LA LA LA.

PLAY THAT BACK FOR ME, PICKLES.

PPPBBBTTT.

OH, AH, OH, LA LA LA LA LA LA.

>> Pickles: YOU JUST SIMPLY

CAN'T GET THAT KIND OF CLARITY.

>> Skwisgaar: INCLUDING NOW, YOU

CAN'T GET THAT.

>> Murderface: IT'S ACTUALLY

CLEARER THAN WHEN HE DID IT. >> Nathan: CAN YOU PLAY THAT

BACK ONE MORE TIME FOR ME, PICKLES?

JUST ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE?

PPPBBBTTT.

OH, AH, OH, LA LA LA LA LA LA.

[ CLAPPING ]

I'D LIKE TO GET A COPY OF THAT

FOR MYSELF, ON WATER.

>> Murderface: YEAH, BURN IT ON

WATER.

>> Pickles: REALLY, REALLY RARE

PIONEERING RECORDING TECHNOLOGY.

>> Toki: YEAH, WE'S FORWARDING

PROGRESS.

WE SHOULD GETS A REWARD.

>> Murderface: TOKI, BEAT IT.

>> Nathan: [ COUGHING ]

I'M GONNA THROW UP.

>> Murderface: RECORD IT.

I GOT TO THROW UP.

>> PRESS RECORD QUICKLY,

QUICKLY.

[ WHIRRING ]

>> Nathan: OH, THAT'S GONNA

SOUND GOOD.

[ VOMITING ]

>> Skwisgaar: I WANT A COPY OF

THIS WHEN HE GETS THAT DONE.

I WANT IT FOR MY OWN WATER

COLLECTION.

>> [ GRUNTING ]

AHHH!

AHHH!

[ PANTING ]

>> Skwisgaar: OH, MAN.

>> Nathan: OH, DEAR.

>> Dick: WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU'RE DRINKING THE TRACKS!

NO, YOU CAN'T WATER THE PLANTS

WITH THE TRACKS!

YOU'RE REPLACING THE WATER IN

THE FISH TANK WITH THE BASS TRACKS!

YOU'RE MAKING RAMEN NOODLES WITH

SKWISGAAR'S SOLO.

>> Nathan: PPPBBBTTT.

OH, AH, OH, LA LA LA LA LA LA.

[ CLAPPING ]

PPPBBBTTT.

OH, AH, OH, LA LA LA LA LA LA.

[ CLAPPING ]