Original subtitles

>> [SIGHS]

UH...

[SIGHS]

>> COME ON, MAN!

PLAY SOMETHING!

>> [SIGHS]

>> THIS IS THE LAST PIECE OF

FOOTAGE WE'VE SEEN OF THE BAND.

THEY'RE CALLING IT THE CONCERT

THAT DETHKLOK DIDN'T PLAY.

RUMORS ARE CIRCULATING,

CANCELLED TOUR DATES, NO PUBLIC

APPEARANCE--HAS THE BAND THROWN

IN THE TOWEL?

>> THEM BOYS,

THEY GOT THE BLUES.

>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ I'LL

TEACH YOU

WHO

ROCK

DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[SIGHS]

>> CAN YOU PASS THAT PROZAC

SHAKER?

>> OH!

THIS IS SOY ICE CREAM.

SKWISGAAR!

>> [SIGHS]

MAYBE I'M NOT PLERCRICT.

>> AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT THE

FATTEST, UGLIEST LEAD SINGER

ALIVE WITH HORRIBLE SKIN.

>> MY LORDS, THIS MAN BREACHED

THE GATES OF MORDHAUS.

SHALL I KILL HIM?

>> HOW DID HE GETS IN HERE?

>> WELL, I'M A BLUES MAN.

HA HA.

A BLUES MAN FIND HIS WAY IN

ANYWHERE.

>> WHO ARE YOU?

>> I'M MASHED POTATO JOHNSON.

AND I WANT TO HELP YOU.

>> DETHKLOK IS IN A CELEBRITY

DEPRESSION.

THIS COULD BE MONUMENTALLY BAD.

>> COULD THIS CELEBRITY

DEPRESSION BE THE END OF

DETHKLOK?

>> WELL, IT'S DIFFICULT TO

SPECULATE.

GENTLEMEN, CELEBRITY DEPRESSION

EXPERT VINCENZO DE ALIMAMALA

CORNINGSTON III.

>> MANY CELEBRITIES BECOME

CELEBRITIES BECAUSE WORLD

RECOGNITION IS THE ONLY THING

THAT PULLS THEM OUT OF THE

HORRIBLY DEPRESSING REALITIES OF

LIVING.

THEY NO LONGER LIVE IN REALITY.

ANYTHING COULD SEND THEM

SPIRALING INTO A DEPRESSION--

A BAD PHOTO, A SLICE OF PIZZA

BEFORE SLEEPING--AND THEIR

WORLD CAN IMMEDIATELY TURN

UPSIDE DOWN!

THUS THEY TURN OUTSIDE FORCES TO

ENLIGHTEN THEM, SUCH AS SHAMEN

OR GURUS.

>> AND WHO DO YOU BELIEVE

DETHKLOK WILL TURN TO?

>> MASHED POTATO JOHNSON.

HE'S THE OLDEST LIVING BLUES

GUITARIST.

THEY SAY HE MADE A DEAL WITH THE

DEVIL--STANDARD BLUES MUSICIAN

RAP SHEET.

>> ALL DUE RESPECT, WHY SHOULD

WE BE WORRIED ABOUT DETHKLOK

LEARNING THE WAYS OF THE BLUES?

>> BECAUSE THE BLUES ARE JUST AS

CURSED AS THIS METAL IS.

>> THE DEVIL HIMSELF IS AT THE

HELM OF THIS MUSIC.

>> IF DETHKLOK EMBRACES THEIR

DEPRESSION, WE COULD ALL BE IN

GREAT DANGER.

>> WE WILL LET DETHKLOK EXPLORE

THIS NEW TERRITORY.

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

[BIRD CAWING]

>> OH!

IT MUST BE 200 DEGREES.

OH, [BLEEP] THIS [BLEEP].

I'M TAKING OFF MY [BLEEP]

SHIRT OFF.

>> WHAT?

WHERE ARE WE?

>> WE'RE IN THE SOUTH--

THE BIRTHPLACE OF THE BLUES.

>> WELL, IT'S TOO [BLEEP] HOT.

AND I'M TAKING MY SHIRT OFF.

MY GOD.

I HAVE LET MYSELF GO.

>> WELL, YOU HAVE PUT ON A FEW

POUND-A-ROONIS.

>> YOU'RE, UH, NOT SUPPOSED TO

AGREE WITH ME, DICK-BRAIN.

>> WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING IN

THIS HORRIBLE MICROWAVES?

I DOESN'T CARE NOTHING ABOUT

THIS BLOUSE.

>> THE BLUES.

>> YEAH.

BUT ALL I CARES ABOUT IS DARK

AND BRUTAL.

>> YOU WANT TO KNOW DARK AND

BRUTAL?

COME WITH ME.

THIS HERE WHERE THE BLUES BEGAN,

RIGHT HERE WHERE WE'RE STANDING.

BLIND HARLAN DAVENPORT KILLED

HIS WIFE, BURIED HER IN THAT

CHICKEN COOP RIGHT THERE.

THAT NIGHT, HE RECORDED "WIFE

GONE ON THE FUNERAL TRAIN

BLUES."

NEXT MORNING, THE POLICE SHOT

HIM IN THE EYE 52 TIMES.

THIS IS WHERE SMOKY TOE BROWN

WAS SAVAGELY BEATEN FOR SLEEPING

WITH HIS NEIGHBOR'S WIFE SHORTLY

BEFORE HE RECORDED "TRAIN, LEAVE

THIS STATION BLUES."

THEY SAY HIS GHOST COME BACK TO

LIFE AND KILLED HIS NEIGHBOR,

PITCH-FORKED HIS INTESTINES, AND

HUNG THEM ON THE TREE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS

"SHORTY TURNYTOP" MADE A DEAL

WITH THE DEVIL.

HE WAS HIT BY A TRAIN AT THIS

EXACT SPOT.

AS HIS HEAD TRAVELED IN THE AIR,

HE WROTE "BLUES TRAIN BLUES."

>> ALLS THEY SINGS ABOUT IS

TRAINS.

>> IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE REALLY

TO TALK ABOUT?

HA HA.

COME ON.

THIS HERE IS WHERE MUSTARD TITS

THE MURDER MASTER BROWN

SLAUGHTERED 22 MEN JUST FOR

BEING UGLY.

HE WENT ON TO RECORD "HERE COME

THAT TRAIN A-COMING BLUES."

NOW, THE FIRST RULE OF THE BLUES

IS TRANSLATING THAT FEELING,

MAKING SOMEBODY FEEL JUST AS BAD

AS YOU.

NOW, I WANT Y'ALL TO PAIR UP.

WE GONNA HAVE A BLUES-GIVING

SESSION.

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

>> DUDE, HAS ANYBODY GOT ANY

SPF?

I'M VERY IRISH-AMERICAN.

>> REAL BLUESMAN GET A SUNBURN.

NOW, GO ON, NATHAN.

YOU GIVE MURDERFACE THEM BLUES!

>> OK, UH.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

UH, HEY, DOG-FACE,

WHY DON'T YOU GO EAT SOME DOG

FOOD AND EAT YOUR OWN THROW-UP,

'CAUSE YOU'RE A DOG-FACE.

>> JEEZ, NATHAN!

A LITTLE BELOW THE BELT.

I GUESS I REALLY DO HAVE A

DOG-FACE.

MAYBE I SHOULD THROW UP AND EAT

IT.

>> GOOD!

NOW YOU FEELING THEM BLUES.

YOU GO ON NOW, MURDERFACE.

>> OK.

HEY, THIN-LIPS,

WHY DON'T YOU GO...

MAKE OUT WITH GLENN CLOSE AND,

UH, AND GO AND BRING HER ACADEMY

AWARD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR

[BLEEP] ASS.

THAT'S GREAT.

>> MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE I SHOULD USE MY CRAPPY

THIN LIPS AND MAKE OUT WITH

GLENN CLOSE.

>> NOW, SKWISGAAR,

LET'S TALK ABOUT BLUES GUITAR.

>> I ONLY PLAYS METAL.

IT'S EMBARRASSED FOR US TO EVEN

HAVE THIS GRANDSPA'S GUITARS.

>> THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW

HOW TO MAKE THE BLUES SOUND.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO PLAY THIS.

[PLAYS BLUESY RIFF]

[PLAYING FAST ARPEGGIOS]

THAT'S CLOSE.

ONE MORE TIME.

TRY TO PLAY THIS.

[SLIDES UP TO NOTE, HOLDS IT,

STRUMS]

[PLAYING FAST SCALES]

>> WE CAN'T NOTS PLAYS FAST

PHYSICALLY.

>> YEAH, IT'S HARD.

>> ALL RIGHT.

LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE.

[PLAYING SLOWLY]

>> OH!

I GOTS THE HIT IN THE BALLS WITH

THE TRAIN CINDER BLOCK RIGHT IN

THE BALLS!

>> NOW, NATHAN,

I WANT YOU TO PLAY ME SOME BLUES

HARMONICA.

>> I DON'T HAVE A BLUES

HARMONICA.

>> WELL, THAT'S OK.

YOU CAN USE MINE.

LICK IT.

>> I'M SORRY, WHAT?

>> A REAL BLUES MAN GET A FLAVOR

FOR HIS HARP.

NOW, YOU GO ON AND LICK THAT

THING.

NOW, YOU PLAY THEM BLUES.

[TOOT]

>> THERE.

I'M FINISHED.

>> WHAT?!

YOU'VE HARDLY PLAYED THAT THING

AT ALL.

>> YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, I--

I GOT IT.

>> NOW, YOU BOYS COME A LONG

WAY, BUT SOME OF YOU MIGHT NOT

KNOW, DOWN HERE IN MISSISSIPPI,

THERE'S EVIL.

THE BLUES DEVIL LIVE DOWN HERE.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A REAL BLUES

MAN, YOU GOTTA SELL YOUR SOUL TO

THE DEVIL.

[BIRD CAWING]

[THUNDER]

>> I UNDERSTAND YOU WISH TO

BARGAIN YOUR ETERNAL SOULS FOR

BLUES FAME.

>> YEAH, UH...

HEY, FANCY-PANTS, WE'RE

DETHKLOK.

WE'RE KIND OF FAMOUS ALREADY.

>> OH, COME ON.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS TO

BECOME, YOU KNOW, THE BLUES

GUYS.

SIR, SORRY.

HEY, WE, UH, WISH TO BARGAIN

OUR SOULS, YOU KNOW, HA,

FOR WHATEVER.

>> VERY WELL.

YOU UNDERSTAND THEN THAT YOU

WILL HAVE TO SIGN A BINDING

CONTRACT.

>> WELL, SEE, OUR LAWYER IS NOT

HERE.

>> WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE WE

HAVEN'T NEGOTIATED A CONTRACTED

BEFORE.

>> HOLD ON.

PAGE 4, THE LANGUAGE IS KIND OF

MURKY.

THAT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE

REWRITTEN.

I'M SEEING OTHER REVISIONS, TOO.

PAGE 7...

>> ...IN ADVANCE NOT INCLUDABLE

OF ALL AND/OR ANY MONIES...

>> ...POINT 8% OF ALL SALES

PRORATED BECAUSE OF BACK END...

>> ...BEHAVIOR SYSTEM

IS 16.9%...

>> ...GOTTA DO IS PIGGYBACK SAID

SALES ONTO RECOUPABLE SOURCES,

I.E...

>> ...7% OF THE BACK END ON YOUR

SOUL, AND YOU, IN TURN, WILL GET

THIS $5.00 GIFT CARD FOR

HOT TOPIC.

>> I CAN LIVES WITH THAT.

>> I'M GONNA SLEEP ON IT AND

CONTACT A NOTARY.

>> I'M A NOTARY.

>> I'M GONNA SLEEP ON IT.

TAKE CARE, GUYS.

>> I LIKE HIM.

>> WE CAN'T EVEN GET THE BLUES

RIGHT.

OH, IT'S MAKING ME DEPRESSED.

>> WE HAVE ONE FINAL THING TO DO

AND YOUR JOURNEY OF THE BLUES IS

COMPLETE.

YOU GOTTA PLAY A SHOW.

>> BUT WE CAN'T!

WE'RE NOT READY!

>> OH, HELL, YOU READY.

>> BUT IT'S UNPOSSIBLE.

NO BACK-STAGE, NO CHAMPAGNES,

NOS POTATO SALAD IN THE SHAPE OF

A DEAD LADIES.

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CONCERTS

BOOK.

>> IT DON'T MATTER.

YOU GO TO WHERE PEOPLE ARE AND

YOU PLAY THEM BLUES.

[AIRY IMPROV GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS]

THIS'LL DO JUST FINE.

>> DIRTY, WORTHLESS HIPPIES.

>> THIS, GUYS, IS WAY TOO HAPPY.

>> MAKE 'EM WISH THEY WAS NEVER

BORN.

GIVE 'EM THE BLUES.

>> SOMEBODY SLAP MY SUNBURNED

BACK.

AAGH!

I CAN FEEL PAIN AGAIN.

I'M READY.

>> WE JUST RECEIVED SOME VERY

AWESOME AND RAD NEWS, EVERYBODY.

DETHKLOK HAS RETURNED TO THE

PUBLIC.

[HOWLS]

YEAH!

>> WE'RE HERE TO PLAY SOME

MISSISSIPPI DELTA BLUES.

WE'RE IN A HORRIBLE DEPRESSION,

AND I GOTTA ADMIT IT:

WE'RE STARTING TO LIKE IT.

♪ HERE COMES THE SOUL COLLECTING

TRAIN OF MURDER A-COMIN'

IT LONGS TO TAKE YOUR PUTRID

BLACKENED SOUL AWAY FROM YOU

YOUR FACE WILL LEAVE

YOUR ROTTING HEAD

IN THE EARLY MORNING ♪

>> MY GOD!

IT'S SO DEPRESSING!

>> ♪ YOUR GUTS WILL LEAVE YOUR

CORPSE, YOUR SPINE WILL BREAK

AND CRACK IN TWO ♪

>> AAGH!

>> AAGH!

>> ♪ IT CANNOT BE STOPPED

THE TRAIN IS FUELED BY CHOPPED

BODIES FILLED WITH SORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW

TICKET IS YOUR LIFE

ENDED BY A KNIFE

CALLED THE MURDER TRAIN

ETERNITY OF PAIN

OH, YEAH

YOU KNOW

WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

♪ THERE IS NO ESCAPE BUT DEATH

YOUR LIFE IS JUST

A MURDER TRAIN A-COMIN' ♪

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

♪ NOW PLAY THOSE BLUES ♪

>> CHIRP.