Original subtitles

>> HOO-WHEE! I AM SUCH ONE

TIRED GUY.

HOW COME SHOPPING IS SO STUPID?

WHATS I HAVE NOW ALL THIS

STUFF, WHAT I DO?

>> YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT?

UH, JUST THROW EVERYTHING AWAY.

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

>> NOW I THROWS IT AWAY?

>> YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DIE

ANYWAY.

>> GUESS IT'S FULL CIRCLE.

>> GOOD-BYE.

>> OK.

>> BURN IT.

>> DUDE, I THOUGHT YOU HATED

WEARING A WATCH.

>> I SMASH THEM.

>> OH. CAN I TRY TO DO THAT?

>> YEAH, YOU CAN--I MEAN,

THEY'RE MINE, BUT, YEAH.

>> OH. THAT'S NICE.

WHAT'S THAT, A HAMILTON?

YEAH. IT'S, UH, YOU KNOW, FUN.

>> CHECK IT OUT, LOSERS.

DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO MY

CROTCH.

SEE IT?

>> JA. THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

>> FEEL IT.

>> WHOA, HO HO!

>> ENVY IT.

>> THAT IS SOMETHING ELSE.

>> BEST PURCHASE EVER.

>> JA. THAT'S GOOD CODPIECE.

>> IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

IT'S JUST TOTALLY

DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED WITH A

TITANIUM BASE.

>> OH. WHATS A COINCIDENCE.

I GOTS A REAL COOL CODPIECE,

TOO.

[BUZZING]

>> UH, THAT'S A DILDO, STRAP-ON

DILDO.

>> AW, SCREW YOU ALL OFF!

MY CODPIECE IS THE COOLEST!

>> JA. WELL...

>> JEALOUS!

>> ANYBODY ELSE GET SOMETHINGS

COOL?

>> YEAH. I WAS TRYING TO SHOP,

BUT I'M JUST TOO DRUNK RIGHT

NOW.

I TRIED TO BUY THAT CINNAMON

BUN FRANCHISE THING, BUT, UH--

>> OH, YEAH. WHAT THE HELL?

>> TOO DRU--TOO DRUNK.

>> THERE YOU ARE.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET IN

TOUCH WITH YOU ALL DAY.

>> CINNAMON BUNS.

>> YOU KNOW TODAY'S OUR BIG

EMPLOYEE EVALUATION CONFERENCE

CONFERENCE AND RAFFLE.

>> HA!

THAT'S A FUNNY ONE.

WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?

>> WELL, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD

CARE BECAUSE IT HAS COME TO OUR

ATTENTION THAT ONE OF OUR

EMPLOYEES IS A MAJOR EMBEZZLER.

>> AWESOME!

RIGHT?

>> EMBEZZLE?

WHAT MEANS THAT?

>> OH. WELL, IT'S A

SUPERAWESOME WAY OF SAYING TAKE

HAVING SOMETHING.

>> HEY, GUYS. I HAVE THE GOOD

USE OF THE WORDS UNSBOZZLE.

MY LUNGS UNSBOZZLE THE AIR FROM

THE EARTH AS I CAN BREATHE IT

PERIOD.

>> WELL, I DON'T SEE THE HUMOR

IN ANY OF IT.

>> OH, LIGHTEN UP, MR. DOOMS

AND GLOOM.

EMBEZZLE IS METAL.

>> WELL, WHO'S THE GUY

EMBEZZLING FROM, YOU KNOW,

ANYWAY?

>> WELL, HE'S EMBEZZLING FROM

YOU.

>> NOOOOOOO!

>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ I'LL

TEACH YOU

WHO

ROCK

DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> DETHKLOK IS NOW THE 12th

LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD.

THEY'VE JUST PASSED BELGIUM,

AND THEY'RE HOLDING THEIR

ANNUAL EMPLOYEE CONFERENCE

CONFERENCE AND RAFFLE.

>> THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO

LET ME PUT SOMEONE UNDERCOVER.

WITH ALL THE EMPLOYEES

CONVERGING AT MORDHAUS, AN

AGENT COULD SLIP RIGHT IN THERE

AND FIND OUT WHAT'S REALLY

GOING ON.

>> YOU HAVE ANYONE IN MIND?

>> GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU NUMBER

216.

HE'S A MASTER AT INFILTRATION

AND SABOTAGE, AND OF COURSE,

HE'S A TRAINED KILLER.

HE'S PERFECT.

>> OF COURSE, HE'LL JUST BE

GATHERING INFORMATION.

>> UH, YES. OF COURSE.

>> OK. SO, UH, NUMBER 421, YOU,

UH, YOU ARE PART OF THE SECTOR

18 RECORDING STUDIO MAINTENANCE

CLEAN TEAM.

OK. UH, QUI--A COUPLE QUESTIONS.

"HOW DO YOU VALUE YOUR--WHAT

YOU CONTRIBUTE OF TO, UH, THE

WORK FORCE?"

UH, SECOND PART: "WHICH DO YOU

MOST CAN'T THE LEAST?"

SKWISGAAR...

>> OH.

>> DID YOU WRITE THESE

QUESTIONS?

>> JA, I DID.

>> OK. WELL, 421, DO YOU HAVE

AN ANSWER?

>> I'M A HIGHLY SKILLED

MICROPHONE CLEANER, MY MASTERS,

AND WHAT I MOST CAN'T THE LEAST

WOULD BE DOING NOT A BAD JOB

AND ALWAYS A GOOD.

>> OK. GOOD ANSWER.

>> WELL, THAT'S ALL I GOT.

UH, GUYS?

>> NO. I GOT ONE MORE QUESTION,

AND ANSWER HONESTLY.

ARE YOU THE GUY WHO'S

EMBEZZLING FROM US?

>> NO.

>> OK.

I BELIEVE YOU.

>> WHEW!

WELL, YOU ARE ALL SET, 421.

THANKS FOR DOING A GREAT JOB.

>> HOLD, UH, HOLD, UH, HOLD

EVERYTHING.

I JUST WANT TO SAY A LITTLE

SOMETHING PERSONAL.

HOW IS, UH, LITTLE AMANDA AND

SCOTT, YOUR CHILDREN?

THINGS ARE STILL ROUGH WITH THE

DIVORCE, HUH?

THAT'S TOUGH.

ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO RACHEL?

YEAH. WELL, HEY.

HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY!

TWO WEEKS, HUH?

HEY. GET OUT OF HERE.

YOU'RE DONE!

[DOOR SLAMS]

>> WE ARE REALLY, REALLY GOOD

BOSSES.

>> YEAH. I KNOW.

WE CARES ABOUT ALL OF THEMS.

IT'S LIKE A PLANTATIONS, BUT

THE SLAVES ARE FRIENDS.

>> I WOULD LIKE TO ASK

QUESTIONS NEXT TIME.

>> ARE YOU ASKING US TO DO

THAT, TOKI?

>> JA. I DON'T KNOW.

>> THAT'S INTERESTING.

YOU SAID, "I WOULD LIKES TO ASK

A QUESTION."

THAT'S A STATEMENT.

>> WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

>> THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.

[BIRD CAWS]

>> NOW THAT YOU'RE INSIDE, I'M

GIVING YOU A DIRECT ORDER.

I WANT YOU TO LOCATE DETHKLOK

ALONE, AND WHEN YOU DO, I WANT

YOU TO KILL THEM.

THAT IS ALL.

>> HEY, YOU. LET ME SEE YOUR

SECURITY CLEARANCE.

[MUFFLED GUNSHOT]

>> HELLO. WOULD HAVE TO SEAT?

>> FIRST OF ALLS, HOW ARE YOU?

WE CARES ABOUT EACH AND EVERY

ONE OF YOUS LITTLE, TINY

GOOFBALLS.

>> OH. MAYBE I GO CRAZY.

I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT I WAS

ASKING THE QUESTIONS.

>> GO AHEAD, GO.

DON'T BE--

>> I THOUGHT WE AGREED--

>> TOKI, WHO CARES?

OK. FINE. YOU ASK THE QUESTIONS.

>> FINE. I WILL!

AM...YOU...WHAT...ARE...WE...

IS...A DETHKLOK EMPLOYEE?

>> ATTENTION. EVERYONE PLEASE

PROCEED TO THE PERFORMANCE

ATRIUM FOR THE DETHKLOK

EMPLOYEE MOTIVATIONAL SEMINAR

AND RAFFLE.

>> WELL, THAT'S US.

LET'S GO.

>> ARGH!

>> OH. UH, SORRY, PAL.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO THIS

LATER, BUT, UH, COULD YOU DO ME

A FAVOR?

COULD YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY?

COULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

THANKS.

>> LOOK AT THIS ONES, ASLEEPS

IN SOME BLOODS.

WE GOTS TO GET TOUGHER ON THESE

GUYS MAYBE, HUH?

OH. SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

ANOTHER GUY. THIS GUY SLEEPS IN

BLOODS, TOO.

>> YEAH. WELL, ALL I CAN THINK

ABOUT IS RAFFLE.

>> CAN WE WIN IT?

>> WELL, DUDE I ... HOPE SO.

IT'S THE ONLY REASON MY ASS IS

GOING THERE.

>> OH, YEAH, AND THERE'S GONNA

BE AN AWESOME MOTIVATIONAL

SPEAKER.

OH, MY GOD.

I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED.

I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!

>> ME, TOO!

>> I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!

>> [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> WAOOOOH!

COME ON! WHOO!

IS EVERYBODY READY TO DIE?

WHOO!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

WHOO!

ARE YOU READY TO DIE THE DEATH

OF OPPORTUNITY?

WHOO!

WE'RE GONNA HAMMERSMACK THE

FACE OF WORKPLACE

RESPONSIBILITY!

WHOO!

COME ON!

GET UP, GET UP!

COME ON!

GRAB A--UGH!

>> OHH!

>> WELCOME TO THE DETHKLOK

EMPLOYEE FORUM, WHERE WE'RE

GONNA LEARN TO USE YOUR

MOTORMIMATION.

WE'RE GONNA LEARN HOW TO BE

CONSIDERATE AT THE WORKPLACE.

>> I HAVE TO WORKS WITH YOU

EVERY DAY, SO PLEASE WILL YOU

PLEASE TAKE IT EASY ON THE

COLOGNE?

>> WHILE THAT HURTS MY

FEELINGS, I UNDERSTAND.

>> WHEN YOU SEE A PIECE OF

TRASH ON THE GROUND, DON'T JUST

STAND THERE.

♪ PICK IT UUUUUP ♪

>> YEAH. AND DON'T LEAVE YOUR

LUNCH LAYING AROUND EITHER.

IT ATTRACTS ANTS.

>> AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,

REMEMBER, DEATH IS AN EVERYDAY

PART OF THE WORKPLACE, SO WHEN

YOU SEE A DEAD BODY, DON'T

FREAK OUT.

[FLIES BUZZING]

>> WOWEE!

>> JUST RING YOUR DEATH BELL.

[DING]

AND NOW AN EXCLUSIVE CORPORATE

VIDEO WORLD PREMIERE.

THIS IS "BRIEFCASE FULL OF

GUTS."

[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]

>> ♪ PUNCH YOUR CLOCK

'CAUSE YOUR WORKING DAY

IS SUCKING I KNOW

PUSHING HARD

FOR EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

YOU'VE GOT YOUR TOOLS

OF BUSINESS

AND A COPY FOR YOUR CLIENTS

AND YOU COME TO WORK

WITH YOUR BRIEFCASE

FULL OF GUTS ♪

>> FRIENDS AND MINIONS, IT'S

TIME TO MEET DETHKLOK!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> IT'S ME!

NOW GO GET THEM!

>> AND NOW THE EMPLOYEE RAFFLE.

WILLIAM, THE FISHBOWL.

NUMBER 216.

>> HEY, DILDO, I'M 216.

>> UNH!

>> WHOA! A FIGHT!

>> KILL EACH OTHER!

PUNCH HIS FACE OFF!

>> YEAH!

>> AAH!

>> UNH!

>> CONGRATULATIONS, 216.

YOU HAVE WON...

>> UNH!

>> OHH!

>> THIS DIAMOND-ENCRUSTED

CODPIECE.

[DING]

>> SO, WAIT A MINUTE.

STUPID LEVEL-TWO EMPLOYEES GET

VIKING FUNERAL?

THAT'S BULLS.

>> THAT'S GOT TO BE EXPENSIVE

AND, YOU KNOW, STILL WITH THE

EMBEZZLER ON THE LOOSE?

>> ACTUALLY, ACCOUNTING

DISCOVERED WHO WAS EMBEZZLING

THIS MORNING.

>> OH, GOOD. WE SHOULD KILL

THAT GUY.

NO POLICE.

>> WELL, THERE WILL BE NO

ACTION TAKEN LEGAL OR OTHERWISE.

>> WHAT THE HELL?

NO PUNISHMENT?

GIVE ME ONE REASON!

>> BECAUSE IT WAS YOU, ALL OF

YOU.

YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING FROM THE

COMPANY THAT YOU OWN.

>> WELL, THAT'S, YOU

KNOW--THAT'S BAD, HUH?

>> YES, IT IS, NATHAN.

>> MAYBE WE CAN BLAME IT ON,

UH, SOMEBODY.

HIM. THAT GUY.

>> YES. LET'S DO THAT.

>> WE RELEASE YOU FROM YOUR

EARTHLY DUTIES, AND I GUH--

YEAH, DOODLY.

I DON'T KNOW.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

>> I GET HIS PENSION.

DIBS!

CALLED IT.

>> CHIRP.