Original subtitles

FATKLOK

>> DETHKLOK TRAVELED TO THE GULF

OF NEW GUINEA TO KRANGOR ISLAND,

KNOWN FOR CONTAINING THE

MAJORITY OF THE WORLD'S NUCLEAR

WASTE.

THE ISLANDERS THAT HAVE BEEN

TRANSFORMED BY THE WASTE

WELCOMED THE BAND WHO WAS THERE

TO GIVE THIS VERY SPECIAL

MESSAGE.

>> WE HAVE LIBERATED YOUR ISLAND

FROM YOU--YOUR ISLAND THAT WAS

ONCE A NUCLEAR--NUCLEAR TESTING

FACILITY THAT HAS IN TURN

TRAGICALLY DISFIGURED YOU ALL

INTO UGLY HORRIBLE-LOOKING

MUTANTS.

AND WE NOW DECREE YOUR ISLAND

THE DETHKLOK HOME

FOR WAYWARD KITTIES.

RELEASE THE KITTIES.

[CATS HISSING]

>> [SCREAMING]

>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ I'LL

TEACH YOU

WHO

ROCK

DETHKLOK!

DETHKLOK! ♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> IT'S THE END OF THE FISCAL

YEAR AND DETHKLOK, AS PREDICTED,

IS SCRAMBLING TO DONATE AS MUCH

AS THEY CAN TO VARIOUS CHARITIES

TO GET TAX BREAKS.

>> WE'RE TRYING TO TRACK THEIR

SPENDING, BUT IT'S JUST TOO

DIFFICULT.

THEY'VE GOTTEN SMART AND FOUND

WAYS TO ERASE THEIR PAPER TRAIL.

ON THE SURFACE, IT APPEARS

THEY'RE DOING EVERYTHING BY THE

BOOK.

>> WHAT ELSE?

>> THE MOST CONFUSING THING TO

US IS THIS YOUNG MAN

PRESENT AT DETHKLOK'S RECENT

PUBLIC APPEARANCE.

>> WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT HIM?

>> ALL WE KNOW IS THAT HE'S BEEN

IN AND OUT OF FOSTER HOMES FOR

THE LAST 14 YEARS OF HIS LIFE

AND NOW IS VERY CLOSE TO

DETHKLOK.

THEY CALL HIM FAT KID,

OR FATTY.

>> IS DETHKLOK MAKING TOO MUCH

MONEY?

WELL, TO SOME, THAT WOULD BE A

RATHER COMFORTABLE PROBLEM.

AS THE TAX SEASON DRAWS TO A

CLOSE, THE BIGGEST BAND IN

SHOWBIZ--

>> WELL, THEY'RE RIGHT.

WE DID IT AGAIN.

WE MADE TOO MUCH MONEY.

SO, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU GUYS

TO PAY EXTRA SPECIAL ATTENTION

TODAY BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO

HAVE TO--

>> MY GOD.

THESE THINGS ARE AMAZING.

CHECK IT OUT.

I'M AN EYE DOCTOR.

>> CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME THE

LASER POINTER?

IT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU.

>> HEY, WAIT YOUR TURN.

>> HEY, POINT THAT INTO MY EYES

AGAIN.

AH!

YEAH!

IT'S AWESOME!

>> POINT THE LASER BEAMS AT MY

TOO EYE.

OH!

COOL.

>> DUDE, CHECK IT OUT.

IF YOU PRESS REALLY HARD ON YOUR

EYES, IT'S AWESOME, DUDE.

>> OH!

AWESOME!

>> YEAH!

BUT CHECKS THIS OUT.

I CAN FORCE ALL THE BLOODS TO MY

FACE AND GIVES MYSELF A REAL

COOL BLOWJOB!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

>> HE MEANS NOSE BLEED,

NOT BLOWJOB.

IDIOT.

>> OK, THAT'S GREAT.

COUPLE OF THINGS ABOUT THE

CHARITY EVENT REAL QUICK NOW.

FIRST, I'M SORRY.

WHO IS THAT FAT KID?

>> DON'T PLAY DUMB.

YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS.

>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THAT IS.

WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

>> UH, HELLO.

THAT'S OUR SON.

>> YEAH, WE ADOPTED HIM

FOR CHARITY.

>> I'M SORRY, HOW IS THAT FOR

CHARITY?

>> THAT WE ARE HIS FOSTER

FATHERS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THAT'S FOR CHARITY...

RIGHT?

>> NO, NATHAN.

THAT'S NOT DONATING MONEY TO

ORGANIZATIONS.

THAT'S...

THAT DOESN'T HELP OUR TAX

SITUATION.

>> SERIOUSLY?!

>> YEAH.

CAN YOU GIVE HIM BACK?

>> HEY, THAT'S A CRAPPY THING TO

SAY, BUT, NO, I DON'T THINK WE

CAN.

WE TRIED.

>> WELL...

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BIG SHOW.

YOU GUYS ARE PERFORMING AT THE

UNITED CELEBRITIES OF THE WORLD

FOUNDATION WITH THE LONDON

PHILHARMONIC.

KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

LONDON PHILHARMONIC, BLAH BLAH.

THE DONATION WILL GO TO

PHARMACEUTICAL RESEARCH.

>> WHAT KIND OF PHARMACEUTICAL

RESEARCH?

>> WELL, I'M NOT SURE.

IT DOESN'T SAY.

>> HAVE THOSE GUYS CURED

ANYTHING?

>> UH...

NO, IT SAYS HERE.

NO.

THEY HAVE NOT.

>> OK.

SHOULDN'T THEY HAVE CURED AT

LEAST ONE DISEASE?

>> WELL, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT IF

YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR MONEY,

YOU DO THIS SHOW.

>> SEE, THAT MAKES MORE

SENSE TO US.

SAY--JUST SAY THAT FROM NOW ON.

>> WELL, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO IT

UNLESS WE HAVE A BIG LASER LIGHT

SHOW THING AT WHATEVER THAT

THING IS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

GOT IT?!

>> THAT'S FINE.

HONESTLY, THE MORE EXPENSIVE

THIS THING IS, THE MORE YOU CAN

WRITE OFF.

>> THAT'S LET'S HAVE A

MOTHER-LASER-[BLEEP]-LIGHT SHOW

THEN, OK?

>> I JUST SAID IT WAS FINE.

>> WELL, THEN LET'S STILL DO

THAT.

>> [SNORTING]

[BURP]

[PLAYING SPEED METAL]

[FEEDBACK]

>> HEY.

WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

CAN YOU PLEASE CONTAIN YOUR SON?

>> OH, MY SON!

HE'S YOUR SON, TOO!

>> THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

HE GOTS NO REGAMBLENCE TO ME.

>> HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO,

DOUCHE BAG.

HE'S ADOPTED!

[CRASH]

>> I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO NEVER

TELL HIM HE'S ADOPSTED.

>> DUDES, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG

WITH THIS GUY?

HE CAN'T STAND STILL.

>> MAYBE HE GOTS TO GO OUTSIDE

AND GOES TO THE

B-A-S-T-H-R-O-H-M-N-S-E.

>> HEY, FATTY DING DONG,

YOU WANT TO TAKE IT EASY ON THE

HORSING AROUND?!

YOUR DADDIES GOTTA REHEARSE FOR

A CHARITY EVENT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A CHARITY

EVENT IS?

[GRUNTS]

OH, DAMN IT!

GET THAT FAT LITTLE SON OF A

BITCH!

[CRASH]

>> [SQUEALS]

>> DON'T KILL HIM!

LEAVE HIM ALONE!

HE'S MY SON!

>> I'M NOT, YOU IDIOT!

I'M USING HUG THERAPY.

I READ SOMEWHERE IT'S SUPPOSED

TO CALM 'EM DOWN.

[GRUNTS]

OH, DEAR SWEET LORD.

I THINK HE JUST USED THE

RESTROOM IN HIS SHORTS.

I GUESS HE DID HAVE TO GO

OUTSIDE.

>> NO, FATTY.

NO GOING TO THE BATHROOM INSIDE!

ONLY OUTSIDE!

UGH.

THERE'S GOTTA BE A BETTER WAY TO

CALM HIM DOWN.

[DOGS BARKING]

>> THIS IS RATHER UNORTHODOX,

I SHOULD TELL YOU.

>> YEAH, BUT YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS

A KID, WE HAD THIS DOG.

HE WAS A REAL RASCALLY GOOFBALL.

AND, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE NEUTERED

HIM.

SO, THAT SEEMED TO DO THE TRICK.

SO, YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU DO?

>> YOU MAY NOT HAVE TO ACTUALLY

NEUTER HIM.

MAYBE IT'S HIS DIET.

WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING HIM?

>> HANKBOIRGERS, YOU KNOW.

POPSICLE, YOU KNOW.

REGULAR STUFF.

CHOCOLATE.

YOU KNOW, HE LOVES CHOCOLATE.

LOTS OF--OH, HE HAS CHOCOLATE

BUNNY RABBITS.

HA HA.

HE EATS OFF THE EARS FIRST, YOU

KNOW.

>> WELL, IF YOU GAVE HIM

SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE LESS

SUGAR, MAYBE HE'D CALM DOWN.

>> OH, BUT HE LOVES EATING THAT

CRAP.

WHAT ARE WE--WE CAN'T JUST TAKE

THAT AWAY FROM HIM.

WHAT, ARE WE NAZIS?

JUST, YOU KNOW, NEUTER HIM.

>> YOU KNOW, OK, FINE.

FINE.

NO, IT'S FINE.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.

FINE.

>> GREAT.

THANK--THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

>> HEY, GOOFBALL,

LOOK WHO'S ALL NEUTERED.

YOU ARE!

YEAH, YOU'RE NEUTERED, HUH,

GOOFBALL.

YEAH.

WHO'S A NEUTERED GUY?!

>> HE'S SCRAMBLING AWAY.

GET HIM!

>> [SNORTS]

>> [SCREAMING]

MAMA MIA!

[BIRDS CAWING]

YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO GET

SICK OF THIS FATHERHOODS THING.

AND WHY ARE WE THE ONES THAT

ALWAYS GET STUCK FEEDING HIS FAT

ASS?

I THINK THEY RACIST OR

SOMETHING.

>> WELL, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE

EASY, TOKI.

EAT YOUR FOOD, FATTY DING DONG,

BECAUSE DADDY'S GOING TO TAKE

YOU TO THE CHARITY SHOW TO SEES

DADDYS PLAY.

HE'S NOT LISTENING.

I DON'T KNOW, TOKI.

FATHERHOOD IS A STRANGE BIRD.

SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY

AND WHAT ARE THE REWARDS, HUH?

>> I SUPPOSE I FEEL A SENSE OF

PRIDE KNOWING I HELP RAISE HIM.

SO, THERE'S THAT.

HERE'S A BUCKET OF HANKBOIRGERS

AND A COUPLE OF BIG GULPS AND

CRAP, YOU FAT TITS!

>> [SNORTING]

>> TRY NOT TO CHOKE,

YOU FAT TUB OF [BLEEP].

WE LOVES YOU.

>> THE BIGGEST CHARITY EVENT

THUS FAR IN THE HISTORY OF THE

WORLD--THE UNITED CELEBRITIES

FOUNDATION EVENT STARING

DETHKLOK WITH SPECIAL GUEST THE

LONDON PHILHARMONIC.

EXPERTS SAY THAT THEY WILL RAISE

AN ESTIMATED $20 MILLION FROM

THIS NIGHT ALONE.

>> THAT'S A FUN LASER BEAM,

HUH, PAL?!

>> [CHEERING]

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

[KLAXON RINGING]

>> ♪ I WANT TO KEEP MY MONEY

AND GIVE AWAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

TO THE GOVERNMENT

WHO REGULATES MY SPENDING

AND OBLITERATES DEPENDING ON

WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR

BRUTALITY IS NEAR

IN THE FORM OF INCOME TAX ♪

>> [SCREAMING]

>> WELL, FATTY,

THATS WAS NOT GREAT BACK THERE

HOW YOU KILLED AN ENTIRE

ORCHESTRA.

>> LOOKS COOL, BUT IT DOES NOT

REFLECTS ON US VERY WELL.

FATTY DING DONGS, WE'S WOULD

LIKES TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU,

FATHERS TO SON.

>> NOW, WE KNOW IT'S TOTALLY

YOUR FAULT THAT THE LONDON

PHILHARMONIC WAS SLICED IN HALF

BY A LASER BEAM.

AND WE KNOW THAT YOU'RE SORRY.

WE KNOW THAT.

BUT I GUESS...

HMM.

I GUESS WE'D KIND OF HOPED THAT

YOU'D USE BETTER JUDGMENT, YOU

KNOW.

YOU KNOW, AND AS YOUR FATHERS,

WE LIKE TO...

>> OH, HE AT MY [BLEEP]

SHOES, THE LITTLE BASTARD!

HE ATE MY CIVIL WAR SHOES!

THEY ARE [BLEEP] IRREPLACEABLE

CIVIL WAR SHOES,

YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH!

>> GUYS, I KNOW HE'S OUR SON,

BUT WE CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS.

>> I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

ALL TRYING TO SAY.

I UM...

I THINK WE HAVE TO BUILD A SPACE

HELICOPTER.

>> UH, WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

BUT I THINK I MAY HAVE A BETTER

IDEA.

>> LOOK.

THERE HE GOES.

HE IS FREE FINALLY.

>> THAT FAT BEAUTIFUL SONS OF A

BITCH WILL BE BETTER OFF THERE.

[CAT HISSING, SCREECHING]

>> OH, HE'LL BE FINE.

HE'S FAT.

♪ I WANT TO KEEP MY MONEY

AND GIVE AWAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

TO THE GOVERNMENT

WHO REGULATES MY SPENDING

AND OBLITERATES DEPENDING ON

WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR

BRUTALITY IS NEAR

IN THE FORM OF INCOME TAX

I'D RATHER TAKE

A [BLEEP] AX

TO MY FACE

BLOW UP THIS PLACE

WITH YOU ALL IN IT

I'D DO IT IN A MINUTE

IF I COULD WRITE OFF YOUR MURDER

I'D SAVE ALL OF MY RECEIPTS ♪

>> CHIRP.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]