Original subtitles

>> UGH!

[CANS CLANGING] OH.

MAYBE WILBUR-- SHUT UP!

DAMN IT, DAMN IT!

STOP!

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP, YOU CRAPPY ALARM!

[BEEPING STOPS] >> OH, YEAH, PICKLES!

PICKLES WAKES UP JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?!

>> HI, PICKLES!

>> OH, GOD!

I FORGOT.

>> WILL YOU FATHER MY KIDS?!

>> I HATE FAN DAY.

>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪ >> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪ >> ♪ I'LL

TEACH YOU WHO

ROCK DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> IT'S BEING CALLED THE TICKET OF THE CENTURY.

MORDHAUS, THE BREATHTAKING HOME OF DETHKLOK, WILL BE OPEN TO THE

PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CELEBRATION OF THIS YEAR'S

INTERNATIONAL DETHFAN DAY.

SEVERAL BANKS HAVE CLOSED BECAUSE CUSTOMERS ARE TRYING TO

WITHDRAWAL ALL OF THEIR LIFE SAVINGS IN AN ATTEMPT TO

PURCHASE ONE OF THESE COVETED TICKETS.

AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM DETHKLOK CALLS THIS A PSYCHOTIC

DAY OF INSANE CELEBRATION FOR REGULAR JACKOFFS.

>> DETHKLOK IS OPENING THEIR HOME TO THEIR FANS.

IT SEEMS THAT THEIR POPULARITY IS STILL GROWING AT AN ALARMING

RATE.

WE GET MOST OF OUR DETHKLOK INFORMATION BY MONITORING OVER

100,000 FAN WEB SITES-- THE BIGGEST OF WHICH BEING

DIEFORDETHKLOK.COM, RUN BY THE JOMFRU BROTHERS ERIC AND EDGAR.

THEY DROPPED OUT OF HARVARD TO BECOME DEDICATED DETHKLOK

FANS.

THEIR WEB SITE ALONE GETS MORE HITS THAN ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA.

>> WE CAN INTERROGATE THEM LATER AND FIND OUT WHAT'S REALLY

INSIDE MORDHAUS.

>> YES.

[SIREN WAILS] >> HEY, PALS!

IT'S ME...

FACE BONES.

WELCOME TO MORDLAND, HOME OF THE INTERNATIONAL METAL

BAND DETHKLOK.

NOW, WE GOT A BIG LIST OF DOS AND DON'TS BECAUSE WE AT

MORDLAND LIKE TO RUN A REALLY TIGHT SHIP.

REMEMBER: OUR SNIPERS HAVE NEW .50 CALIBER RIFLES THAT CAN

KILL YOU FROM ALMOST 3 MILES AWAY.

YIKES!

AND REMEMBER: DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHORIZED, SO DO NOT EVER ENTER

INTO...

[VOICE DISTORTS] [STATIC]

AND YOU HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM, MAKE SURE AND

DON'T GO INTO THE...

[STATIC] AND REMEMBER:

NO RECORDING DEVICES OR CAMERAS WILL BE ALLOWED OR YOUR LIFE

WILL BE TERMINATED.

>> [GRUNTING] >> NOW, DETHKLOK HAS DECIDED TO

ALLOW YOU TO LISTEN TO ONE SECRET SONG TO BE PLAYED ONE

TIME ONLY FOR YOU, THE FANS!

>> FAN SONG!

YOU HEAR THAT?!

HIGH-5!

>> WHY DO I DRINK SO MUCH BEFORE STUPID FAN DAY?

>> I BELIEVE YOU DRINK BECAUSE IT'S FAN DAY.

>> UGH.

I DON'T--DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT.

WAIT, WHERE'S SKWISGAAR?

>> OH, I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE.

HE HAVE A VERY BIG NIGHT WITH A...

VERY HUGE FAN.

>> YEAH, WE WERE ALL UP LATE.

>> NOT ME.

I ACTUALLY GOTS GOOD REST.

>> WILL YOU PLEASE JUST BE QUIET FOR A SECOND?

>> AW, WHAT'S WRONG, PICKLE.

YOU JUST NEED TO EAT SOMETHING.

YOUR NAME IS PICKLE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY A PICKLE-HERRING SANDWICH--

FAMOUS FROM OSLO!

>> [RETCHES] >> OH, YEAH, PICKLES!

>> GOD!

EVERYWHERE I GO, THERE'S FANS EVERYWHERE.

CAN'T I JUST THROW UP IN MY OWN HOUSE?!

UGH!

>> OH, GOD!

DON'T--WHAT ARE YOU, BULIMIA?

>> OH, GREAT.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA START A WHOLE CHAIN REACTION PUKE-A-THON.

>> [RETCHING] >> OH, BLOOD PUKE!

GOOD SONG TITLE.

SOMEONE WRITE THAT-- OH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WE ALREADY WROTE THAT.

GOOD SONG THOUGH.

>> [SIGHS] >> IT SHOULD GO BACK IN THE SET

LIST.

>> OH.

I THINK I NEED ANOTHER LIVER TRANSPLANT.

>> PREPARE TO SEE ONE OF THE GREATEST SIGHTS

YOU'VE EVER SEEN-- THE FASTEST GUITARIST ALIVE IN

HIS NATURAL HABITAT.

[METRONOME TICKS QUICKLY] [PLAYING GUITAR WITHOUT

AMPLIFICATION] [SNEEZES]

>> OH.

NEED PAPER TOWELS.

OK.

MY FACE IS STUCKS TO THE WALL.

>> [HUMMING] ♪ DOODILY DING DING ♪

[HONK] [HUMMING]

[FLUSH] OH, CRAP.

>> [SNORING] [TOILET RUNNING]

>> [SNORING] [TOILET RUNNING]

>> IN ORDER TO KEEP NATHAN EXPLOSION HEALTHY AND BECAUSE OF

THE TREMENDOUS DRINKING IT TAKES TO ENTERTAIN ALL OF YOU DETHKLOK

FANS OUT THERE, NATHAN MUST UNDERGO A SERIES OF LIVER

TRANSPLANTS.

>> NOW, HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING THIS MORNING?

[BEEPING] >> NOPE.

>> ARE YOU SURE?

>> I MEAN, YEAH.

I MEAN, NO.

>> OK.

ANESTHESIA, PLEASE.

[GAS HISSES] >> [VOMITS]

>> HEY, GUYS!

IT'S ME, FACE BONES!

NOW IS THE TIME YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR--YOUR VERY OWN

EXPLOSIVE SUPER DOPER EXCLUSIVE FAN SONG AND ONE-TIME-ONLY

SONG VIDEO!

SONG VIDEO!

ROLL IT.

[MUSIC BEGINS] >> YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE

GIVE US SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST RECORD SALES--

YOU GIVE US SOMETHING TO HATE.

AND WE HATE YOU, YOU BRAINLESS MUTANTS.

♪ HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE

YOU HUNCHED AND BLINDED MATANTS LIVING IN CHAT ROOMS

YOU MASTURBATE ON THE SHEETS YOUR MOTHERS CLEAN FOR YOU

YOU HAVE LINED MY POCKETS OVERFLOWED WITH GOLD

YOU'RE LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS AND YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD

YOU'RE A BUNCH OF BANKS THAT I'D LIKE TO ROB

YOU'RE MY ONLINE CASH TRANSACTION

YOU'RE MY FUTURE STOCKS TRANSFER YOU LIKE MONEY

TO A SWISS ACCOUNT SPEND YOU ON AN IMPULUSE BUY

AND ZERO YOU ALL OUT HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE

HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE I WOULD LIKE TO GET SOME SLEEP

BUT YOU KEEP BUYING ALL OUR THINGS

MY OVERHEAD IS WAY TOO DEEP FOR US TO NOT KEEP MAKING THESE

IT'S WAY TO CYNICAL, YOU SEE?

HATING WHAT'S SUPPORTING ME I AM NOT YOU, I THANK THE GODS

AND IF I WERE, I'D DIE LIKE DOGS DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE

DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE

DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE

DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE DIE ♪

I'LL BE VERY GLAD WHEN THIS IS OVER WITH.

>> IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH WE HATED THEM.

I MEAN, THEY JUST KEEP CRAWLING BACK LIKE GROVELING PUTRID

STUPID ZOMBIES THAT, WELL, JUST WANT TO EAT OUT BRAINS THAT IS

OUR ART.

[DOOR OPENS] >> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR, MY LORDS.

I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

>> THAT DOES NOT MEANS YOU GET FREE LUNCH FOR ENTRANCE TO

EVERYTHING.

>> WE ARE THE JOMFRU BROTHERS, PROPRIETORS OF

DIEFORDETHKLOK.COM.

>> OH, REALLY.

THAT'S INTERESTING.

WHAT DO YOU SELLING?

YOU KNOW, HANDICAP STUFF?

>> NO.

WE WANT YOU TO PAY FOR A GOOD REVIEW ON OUR WEB SITE.

>> HA!

THAT'S RICH.

>> WE ARE THE FANS.

WE ARE THE POWER.

WITHOUT US, YOUR PRECIOUS BRUTALITY MEANS NOTHING.

>> TAKE A WALK BEFORE I KILL YOU.

>> NOT SO FAST, MR. EXPLOSION, THOUGH I DO APPRECIATE YOUR

SIMPLISTIC VIEWS OF SMASHING THAT WHICH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> EFFECTIVE.

>> OH, COME ON!

SCREW THAT INTERNET CRAP.

I MEAN, COME ON, WHAT IS THE INTERNET, YOU KNOW?

SERIOUSLY.

WHAT IS THE INTERNET?

>> PERHAPS YOU WILL GIVE US MORE THAN A LINK WHEN WE DEBUT THIS

ON OUR WEB SITE.

>> ♪ HATE, HATE, HATE HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE... ♪

>> WE'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF APPROPRIATING YOUR EXCLUSIVE

SONG WHICH IS READY TO BY HYPERLINKED AND SOLD EXCLUSIVELY

ON OUR WEB SITE WITH A SINGLE SLIGHT KEYSTROKE.

>> HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A LINK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS--

BY ME THROWING YOU TO THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS?!

>> I THINK NOT.

>> WE'LL GIVE YOU THE SONG BACK WHEN WE GET THE MONEY, AND NOT A

MOMENT BEFORE.

>> OH, WHATEVER.

[ELEVATOR HUMS] [DING]

[ELEVATOR HUMS] [DING]

[BEEP] SO, UH...

WHERE YOU GUYS FROM?

>> SANDUSKY, OHIO.

>> OH.

THERE'S AN AMUSEMENT PARK THERE, RIGHT?

>> YES, THERE IS AN AMUSEMENT PARK.

>> WELL, THAT'S ALWAYS FUN.

[BIRD CAWING] YOUR MONEY'S WAY DOWN THERE--

BEHIND THAT DOOR.

CAN YOU SEE IT?

HEY, YOU BETTER HURRY UP.

CLOSING TIME IS IN TWO MINUTES.

>> ALL THE WAY OVER-- >> I'D SERPENTINE IF I WERE YOU.

IT'S SHOWTIME.

>> WHY SHOULD WE SERPENTINE?

[GUNSHOT] WHOA!

SERPENTINE!

>> MERCI.

BON CAFE, JEAN PIERRE.

>> THANK YOU, MY LORD.

>> YOU GIVE US SOMETHING TO HATE.

BUT WE HATE YOU, YOU BRAINLESS MUTANTS.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--] ♪ YOU HUNCHED AND BLINDED

MUTANTS LIVING IN CHAT ROOMS YOU MASTURBATE ON THE SHEETS

YOUR MOTHERS CLEAN FOR YOU YOU HAVE LINED MY POCKETS

OVERFLOWED WITH GOLD YOU'RE LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS

AND YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD YOU'RE A BUNCH OF BANKS

AND I'D LIKE TO ROB YOU'RE MY ONLINE CASH

TRANSACTION YOU'RE MY FUTURE STOCKS

TRANSFER YOU LIKE MONEY TO A SWISS ACCOUNT

SPEND YOU ON AN IMPULSE BUY AND ZERO YOU ALL OUT ♪

>> CHIRP.