Original subtitles

[THRASH METAL PLAYING]

>> [CHEERING]

>> WHAT THE?!

[GROWLS]

>> [GRUNTS]

>> OH!

>> SON OF A BITCH!

>> EY!

>> OW!

>> [BLEEP] YOU!

>> [CHEERING]

>> I THINK IT'S OK IF WE HATE

EACH OTHER.

THAT'S OK WITH ME.

BUT WE CAN'T HAVE THIS HAPPEN

AGAIN.

IT COSTS TOO MUCH.

>> IT APPEARS THE YARD WOLVES

HAS GROWN UP.

ARE WE FINALLY FINISHED WITH THE

COLDS DEAD WINTERS?

>> GENTLEMEN,

I HAVE DONE SOME RESEARCH,

AND TO AVOID FUTURE FIGHTS AND

RIOTS, THE ONLY ANSWER I KEEP

COMING BACK TO IS BAND THERAPY.

>> ♪ DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK

DO ANYTHING FOR DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ I'LL

TEACH YOU

WHO

ROCK

DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! ♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> [YELLING]

[SIRENS WAIL]

>> THESE JORDANIAN RIOTS ARE ALL

DETHKLOK'S DOING, GENTLEMAN.

ACRES OF DESTRUCTION IN THE HOLY

LANDS BECAUSE OF AN

ONSTAGE-QUARREL.

NOW IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE IN NEED

OF A BAND THERAPIST.

GENERAL KROSIER?

>> HIS NAME IS DR. JON

TWINKLETITS.

WAS ONCE IN A BIG BAND CALLED

THE AMAZELINGTONS.

THEY BROKE UP.

TWINKLETITS LOST HIS MIND.

HE DISAPPEARED FOR 10 YEARS.

REEMERGED WITH A THERAPY DEGREE

AND A BONE TO PICK.

HE'S NOW BEING CALLED THE

WORLD'S MOST EXTREME THERAPIST

BY SEVERAL REPUTABLE

PSYCHOLOGICAL PUBLICATIONS.

I FEEL THAT IF WE SEND HIM IN,

THE BAND WOULD TURN INWARDS AND

TEAR ITSELF APART.

>> IMAGINE HOW MUCH MORE

DESTRUCTION COULD BE CAUSED BY

DETHKLOK FANS IF THEY WERE TO

DISBAND.

>> THAT'S A RISK I FEEL WE

SHOULD CONSIDER TAKING.

>> WE WILL ALLOW FOR DETHKLOK TO

LOOK INWARD.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE DARK THAN

ONE'S OWN SOUL.

>> YOUR BAND IS IN TROUBLE.

YOU'RE ON THE VERGE OF

DESTROYING EACH OTHER!

YOU'RE A BUNCH OF JUNGLE

MONKEYS!

YOU'RE HURTING EACH OTHER'S

FEELINGS!

AND WHY?!

WHY?

AT THE END OF THE DAY, WHAT'S--

WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT?

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TELLS

ME?

I AIN'T OK WITH MYSELF.

I'M NOT OK WITH THIS GUY OVER

HERE.

IT LITERALLY MAKES ME ILL

TO SEE PEOPLE DO THAT.

YOU'RE A FAMILY.

YOU ARE!

DO YOU KNOW THAT?

AND, WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT

THAT, JACK, THERE'S THE DOOR!

TAKE A WALK.

TAKE A HIKE.

I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

'CAUSE I WAS IN A BAND ONCE.

>> WELL, I BET YOU GUYS TOTALLY

SUCKED.

THE WORST BAND EVER OF ALL TI--

>> I'M IN CHARGE OF YOU NOW, YOU

UGLY IDIOTS.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.

AND YOU NEED HELP.

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU'RE WEAK,

YOU'RE TERRIFIED, AND YOU'RE OUT

OF CONTROL.

ONE SMALL MOVE AND YOU COULD

LOSE EVERYTHING--EVERYTHING!

NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

GOOD.

THEN LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?

>> YOU SLAPPED AT MY FACE.

>> NO, I DIDN'T.

>> YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WE DON'T

REALLY LET ANYBODY IN HERE.

>> RELAX, TONTO.

DON'T GET ALL NEUROTIC ON ME.

JEEZY!

I'M JUST GOING TO OBSERVE YOU

ALL.

NOW, I WANT YOU ALL TO BE

YOURSELVES.

ACT LIKE I'M NOT HERE.

GO.

>> DON'T WORRY.

I BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT SINCE

YOU GOT HERE.

>> WELL, THEN IT SHOULDN'T BE A

PROBLEM THEN, SHOULD IT,

SMART-ASS!

>> DUDE, NO HITTING.

[PLAYING SOLO]

>> DO IT AGAIN, TOKI.

TAKE 164.

[PLAYING]

[FEEDBACK]

>> JUST LET ME RECORD IT.

EACH TAKE GETS WORSE.

HE'S SLOWING LEARNING HOW TO

UNPLAY THE GUITAR.

>> I CAN HEAR THAT.

THE TALK-BACK MIKE IS ON.

>> PICKLES, PLEASE LET ME KNOW

WHEN THE TALK-BACK MIKE IS ON SO

THAT MR. SENSITIVES DON'TS GOES

TO CRIES-BABIES HOUSE FOR

VACATION.

>> I CAN STILLS HEAR YOU.

>> SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

A BE-ABLE-TO-HEAR-THINGS AWARD?

>> NOT REALLY.

DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A GREAT AWARD

TO BE HONEST.

>> IS THIS THE WAY YOU NORMALLY

RECORD?

>> WELL, YEAH.

>> WHAT, YOU JUST PUSH LITTLE

TOKI AROUND?

>> YEAH.

HE LETS US.

>> YEAH, HE LIKES IT!

>> YEAH.

I MEAN, WHAT'S--RIGHT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT'S

DOING TO HIS LITTLE EGO?

LISTEN!

WE'RE GONNA DO AN EXERCISE--

AN EXERCISE IN CHANGING BAND

DYNAMICS.

>> THIS IDEA IS DILDOS.

>> TOKI, YOU ARE NOW THE LEAD

SINGER OF THE BAND.

>> NO, THANKS.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU'RE CREATIVE

VOICE IS UNAPPRECIATED, AND WE

ARE GOING TO CHANGE THAT.

>> HONESTLY, I DON'T WANTS NO

CREATIVE VOICE.

IT'S COOL.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

YOU ARE NOW THE LEAD SINGER!

GO!

MAKE UP SOME LYRICS!

ONE, TWO, 3, GO!

>> [SINGING GIBBERISH]

♪ HONEY

WHO, WHO? ♪

[SINGING GIBBERISH]

>> WHEN PUNCTURED, THE OCULAR

SPHERE EMITS A LIQUID JELLY

KNOWN AS THE VITREOUS HUMOR.

WHEN SQUOZEN WITH CONSIDERABLE

PRESSURE, THAT THE HARD AND

MARBLE-LIKE LENS CAN JETTISON

BACK INTO THEIR OWN EYES

BLINDING THEM.

>> HUH.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

>> I DID.

>> BAND MEETING, EVERYONE.

BAND MEETING.

>> DUDE,

YOU MAY BE A THERAPIST,

BUT YOU CAN'T CALL A BAND

MEETING.

>> YES, I CAN!

FOR THE PURPOSES OF THESE

EXERCISES, I AM A BAND MEMBER.

AHEM.

TO REWARD TOKI FOR HIS BRAVE

WORK TODAY, I SHOULD LIKE TO

GIVE HIM SOMETHING THAT THE REST

OF YOU MAY ONE DAY EARN.

THE BANANA STICKER.

>> [ANGELIC VOICES SING]

>> HOW COME HE GETS HE GETS THE

BANANA STICKER?

DON'T I GET ONE?

>> NO, MURDERFACE.

YOU DO NOT GET A BANANA STICKER.

NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE PROVEN

YOURSELF.

UNTIL THEN, THESE BANANA

STICKERS SHALL REMAIN LOCKED IN

HERE.

>> [GROWLING]

[YELLING]

>> WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?

>> I DON'T CARE.

>> HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.

LET'S ROCK TALK.

>> NO.

>> COME ON.

DON'T YOU WANT TO GET IN TOUCH

WITH, YOU KNOW, YOUR--

YOUR INNER DUDE?

>> NO, THANKS.

I HATE THAT GUY.

>> NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

LET'S ROCK TALK ABOUT THAT.

>> I DON'T WANNA.

>> HMM.

WHAT A SHAME.

YOU KNOW, I...

I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO, YOU

KNOW, HOLD ONTO ALL THESE BANANA

STICKERS.

I GOT, LIKE, A MILLION...

>> OK.

I'LL ROCK TALK.

>> GOOD.

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT

YOUNG MURDERFACE.

TALK ME A NICE STORY ABOUT WHEN

MURDERFACE WAS A LITTLE TINY

BOY.

>> WELL, OK.

HERE GOES.

[COOS]

>> HOW COULD I HAVE EVER MARRIED

YOU?!

>> MY GOD, NO!

>> I'LL KILL YOU!

>> NO, NO!

>> HERE GOES!

>> [SCREAMING]

>> AND NOW I KILL MYSELF!

FIRST MY LEFT LEG!

GOOD!

NOW THE RIGHT!

NOW THE ARM.

NOW MY FACE!

AAGH!

>> YEAH.

THAT WAS GOOD ROCK TALK.

[THRASH METAL PLAYING]

>> ♪ I'M THE MONKEY

YOU'RE THE MONKEY

BUT YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO'S HELD FOR RANSOM

YOU STRIKE ME IN MY THROAT

YOU WITH YOUR BANANA STICKERS

WE'RE BEHIND THE 8-BALL

WE'RE BEHIND THE 8-BALL

WE'RE BEHIND THE 8-BALL

WE'RE BEHIND THE 8-BALL

PSYCHO

LOGICALLY

CAME DOWN

AT YOU ♪

>> HEY!

THIS IS JON TWINKLETITS.

REMEMBER ME?

I WAS IN THE AMAZELINGTONS WITH

YOU.

JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT

I'M IN ANOTHER BAND, AND WE'RE

CALLED DETHKLOK.

SO, NO BIG WHOOP.

NO BIG WHOOP.

JUST GIVE ME A CALL BACK

WHENEVER YOU CAN.

BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU PROBABLY

CAN'T--BECAUSE I KILLED YOU!

>> I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S CRAZY.

>> HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING

LIKE THAT?

HE'S A GENIUS.

>> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS GETTING

COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

TWINKLETITS THINKS HE'S IN OUR

BAND.

I THINK WE GOTTA FIRE HIM.

>> WAIT.

WE CAN DO THAT?

>> YEAH.

I JUST FOUND OUT WE CAN FIRE

ANYBODY WE EMPLOY.

>> CAN WE'S FIRE OURSELVES?

>> YEAH.

NO, I FOUND THAT OUT, TOO.

>> CAN WE GIVE OURSELVES A

RAISE?

>> YEAH.

I--I MEAN, I THINK SO.

DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT,

BUT I THINK WE CAN.

>> OH, DUDE, THEN I--

YOU KNOW, I GIVE MYSELF A RAISE

RIGHT NOW.

>> YEAH, I GIVE ME A RAISE, TOO.

>> I GIVE MYSELF A SOLID-GOLD

TELEPHONE.

>> I GIVE MYSELF A BUNCH OF

BOATS WITH A BUNCH OF

VIETNAMESE PEOPLE ON THEM--

ON FIRE.

>> DUDES, I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT

SOMETHING.

IF WE FIRE TWINKLETITS,

THEN WE AIN'T GONNA SEE NO MORE

BANANA STICKERS.

>> ALL RIGHT.

WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO TODAY

BECAUSE...

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR.

>> HEY!

WE WERE THINKING--

NOT VERY HARD, BUT YOU'RE FIRED.

YEAH.

WE HATE YOU.

>> HA.

I'M SORRY, WHAT?

>> HEY, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

YOU KNOW, I PRIDE MYSELF ON

BEING ABLE TO PIT PEOPLE AGAINST

EACH OTHER.

BUT YOU'RE AMAZING.

YOU'RE A REAL DICK.

AND I APPRECIATE THAT.

BUT WE NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU

AGAIN, YOU UGLY IDIOT DICK!

>> HOLD ON FOR A SECOND.

I'M YOUR THERAPIST.

>> HEY, I AIN'T NO THERAPIST,

BUT I HATE YOUR MUSTACHE.

>> DON'T YOU WANT A BANANA

STICKER?

>> WE WON'T BE NEEDING YOUR

BANANA STICKERS!

WE HAVE FOUND OUT THAT YOU CAN

JUST, YOU KNOW, BUY

PSYCHOLOGICAL VALIDATION.

SO...

>> YOU SONS OF BITCHES.

HOW DARE YOU?!

I AM THE BAND!

YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT!

I'LL KICK YOU OUT!

YOU'RE ALL FIRED, YOU BUNCH OF

STUPID PUSSIES!

I'LL KILL YOU!

WHAT?!

WHA!

I'M STILL ALIVE.

I'M STILL--OH!

>> LOOK.

THE WOLVES EAT HIM.

>> YES, TOKI.

AND HIS BODY WILL NOURISH THE

WOLVES.

>> I BELIEVE THE CYCLE OF

LEARNING IS COMPLETE.

>> INDEED.

ALLS OF US SHOULD LEARN THE

LESSON.

>> YEAH.

AND WHAT LESSON MIGHT THAT BE?

>> I HAVES NO IDEA.

BUT IT'S PRETTY METAL THAT HE'S

BEING EATEN.

LOOK AT THAT RIGHT THERE.

>> I LOVED HIM.

I...

CAN SAY THAT NOW.

>> NOW THAT HE'S DEAD.

IT'S MUCH EASIER TO SAY

EMOTIONAL THINGS ABOUT HIM.

>> YES.

MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD TO SAY,

BUT AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S

BEING MADE TO FEEL HUNGRY BY

WATCHING THIS?

>> LET'S EAT.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

>> CHIRP.