Original subtitles

107 DETHFAM

>> ON IN 4, 3, 2...

>> WE'RE BACK WITH ARGUABLY THE

GREATEST ENTERTAINMENT FORCE IN

THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD--

DETHKLOK.

GENTLEMEN, YOU ARE THE 12th

LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD AND

CLIMBING, AND YET YOU ALL ARE

INTENSELY PRIVATE.

LITTLE IS KNOWN ABOUT YOUR

PERSONAL LIVES.

WHY?

>> BECAUSE.

>> WELL, WE AT THE "NICK IBSEN

SHOW" DO PRIDE OURSELVES ON

UNCOVERING THE MOST--

>> HEY, DOUCHE BAG, WHY DON'T

YOU DRILL A HOLE IN YOUR

FOREHEAD AND LET ALL THE SAP RUN

OUT?

>> HA HA! FOR PANCAKES.

>> AS INTIMIDATING AS IT IS TO

INTERVIEW SUCH AMAZING

ENTERTAINMENT FIGURES, I

NONETHELESS HAVE A JOURNALISTIC

DUTY TO UNCOVER CERTAIN--

[FLUID TRICKLING]

ARE YOU URINATING ON MY SHOES?

>> YES. I AM.

>> WELL, AS I SAID BEFORE, WHILE

MET WITH RESISTANCE, WE HAVE A

GREAT SURPRISE IN STORE FOR YOU.

WE HAVE UNCOVERED SOMETHING THAT

YOU ALL HAVE DESPERATELY BEEN

TRYING TO HIDE.

TONIGHT YOU WILL ALL BE REUNITED

WITH YOUR FAMILIES.

>> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS.

>> PAY FOR WHAT, JOURNALISTIC

INTEGRITY?

>> WILLIAM.

>> I THINK THAT YOU'LL FIND ANY

JOURNALIST WORTH HIS OWN SALT

WOULD DO THE SAME.

AAH!

AAAAAAAAAH!

AAH! AAGH!

AAGH! AAH!

>> GOOD SONG TITLE--

"BLOODTROCUTED."

♪ DO ANYTHING FOR METAL

DO ANYTHING FOR METAL

DO ANYTHING FOR METAL

DO ANYTHING FOR METAL

DO ANYTHING FOR METAL ♪

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

>> ♪ [INDISTINCT]

WHO ROCK ♪

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK! ♪

>> ♪ SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG

DOODILY DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

>> AAH! AAH!

>> DETHKLOK'S PARENTS HAVE BEEN

UNCOVERED AND ARE VISITING.

THIS COULD BE DEVASTATING.

>> WHAT DO WE HAVE ON THE

FAMILIES?

>> FROM TOMAHAWK, WISCONSIN, WE

HAVE PICKLES PARENTS CALVIN AND

MOLLY WITH OLDER BROTHER SETH, A

RECENTLY RELEASED CONVICT.

FROM VICTORY GARDENS, THE

PREMIER ARMED FORCES RETIREMENT

COMMUNITY IN FLORIDA, ROSE AND

OSCAR EXPLOSION.

SHE'S THE ONCE-LOVELY MISS

SWEDEN 1956, THE BRAVE SINGLE

MOTHER WHOSE NEGLECT HELPED FORM

THE WORLD'S FASTEST GUITARIST--

SERVETA SKWIGELF.

AND THE CURIOUS AND RATHER

OFFBEAT GRANDPARENTS WHO RAISED

WILLIAM AFTER THE TRAGIC

MURDER-SUICIDE OF HIS PARENTS--

STELLA AND THUNDERBOLT

MURDERFACE.

>> WHAT'S THE WAGON FOR?

>> MASSIVE STROKE.

>> I SEE.

>> AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, FROM

AN ABANDONED VILLAGE NEAR

LILLEHAMMER, NORWAY, ANYA AND

THE REVEREND ASLAG WARTOOTH.

>> I SEE THE FAMILIES REUNITE.

I SEE FATHER KILLING SON.

IN THE END, THERE'S ULTIMATE

BRUTALITY.

>> THIS MAY BE THE ANSWER WE'VE

BEEN WAITING FOR.

THIS COULD RIP THEM APART.

>> WE WILL ALLOW THE DARKNESS TO

UNFOLD.

>> I JUST WANT TO CLIMBS INTO A

HOLES AND NOT DEALS, YOU KNOW,

RIGHT, TOKI?

WHAT, YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO ME?

>> I'LL NEVER NOT BE EMBARRASSED

BY MY PARENTS.

>> IT'S REPUGNANT.

I'D RATHER BE DEAD AND FACELESS

THAN GROW OLD AND REPUGNANT LIKE

THAT.

>> I KNOW.

I THINK WE ALL WISH THOSE GUYS

WERE DEAD.

MAYBE WE CAN JUST TAKE THEM OUT

TO DINNER AND GET THEM OFF OUR

BACK.

>> OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE EATING?

>> YOU REMEMBER MRS. MILLER,

DON'T YOU?

>> NO.

>> WELL, THEY HAD TO CUT HER

LEGS OFF, POOR THING.

THERE WAS AN ICE STORM, AND THE

POWER WENT OUT IN HER HOUSE, AND

SHE WOKE UP WITH HER FEET

FROZEN.

>> GOD, MA, THAT'S BRUTAL.

>> HER FEET WERE BLACK LIKE A

BLACK PERSON'S FEET, NOT THAT I

HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST BLACK

PEOPLE, BUT THIS WAS FROSTBITE,

AND BESIDES, BLACK PEOPLE'S FEET

ARE PINK ON THE BOTTOM.

[WIND BLOWING]

>> [SPEAKS SWEDISH]

>> I LEARNED THEY HAVE THESE

WHEELCHAIRS NOW WITH COMPUTERS

IN THEM THAT YOU CAN CONTROL BY

BLINKING YOU EYES, AND WITH ALL

YOUR MONEY, WILLIAM, YOUR

GRANDFATHER HAS TO SIT THERE IN

A WAGON LIKE A DEAD CAT.

>> OH, I GUESS I'LL JUST RUN OUT

AND BUY ONE.

HEY, ANYONE ELSE WANT ONE?

ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIRS.

I'LL BUY A MILLION OF THEM.

OW!

DON'T HIT PEOPLE ON THE HEAD

WITH SPOONS.

>> SO I TOOK A MUSIC MANAGEMENT

COURSE AT WISCONSIN STATE

PRISON, YOU KNOW?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP?

>> HE CAN MANAGE YOU.

HE'S GONNA MAKE AN OFFICE ABOVE

THE GARAGE.

>> HELL YEAH.

I MANAGED, LIKE, 5 BANDS IN "D"

BLOCK, AND THEY WERE FRICKIN'

GOOD.

YOU HEARD OF THE TWIXIES?

IT HASN'T GOTTEN OUT YET, BUT,

YOU KNOW, I RECORDED SOME STUFF,

DICTAPHONE.

SOUNDS SO GOOD, IT BLEW MY MIND,

BUT I JUST WANT TO TALK

TO YOU.

DUDE, YOU SHOULD START A

FRICKIN' LABEL.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT, YOU KNOW,

BROTHERS IN BUSINESS?

I WOULD BE IN CHARGE OF NUMBERS.

YOU JUST PLAY THE MUSIC.

PLAY THOSE RAT-A-TAT-TAT.

PLAY THOSE DRUMS, AND I WANT TO

DO IT AS AN INDEPENDENT DEAL,

NONE OF THOSE BIG, FANCY LABELS.

>> OH, LET ME OUT OF HERE.

I GOT TO PEE-PEE.

>> YEAH. ME, TOO.

>> YEAH. THAT'S FOR SURE.

[PBBT]

>> I AM GONNA LOSE MY MIND.

MY PARENTS JUST BRAG AND BRAG

ABOUT MY BROTHER.

"OH, HE'S IN A ROOM ABOVE THE

GARAGE."

BIG DEAL! HE'S AN EX-CON!

[PANTING]

I HAVEN'T USED ONE OF THESE

THINGS FOR 15 YEARS.

>> WHAT THE F--

[GUITAR FEEDBACK]

>> THIS WHOLE THING GIVES ME A

CASE OF MY STOMACHS THROW UP.

>> WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?

YOUR MOM SEEMS COOL.

>> SHE WAS THE MOST

PROSQUEAMINESS WOMENS IN SWEDEN,

HAD SEX WITH EVERYBODY.

PFFT! THANKS, MOM.

>> THE FACT THAT MY PARENTS HAD

SEX IN ORDER TO CREATE ME MAKES

ME WANT TO BE BURIED ALIVE.

>> MY GRANDMA HAS AN ODOR THAT'S

SO VERY WRONG, AND SHE WANTS ME

TO BUY THAT BASTARD A

WHEELCHAIR.

SHE WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

>> WHY DO WE MAKE IT SO HARD ON

OURSELVES?

I'LL JUST SOLVE IT LIKE ANY

OTHER PROBLEM.

>> OF COURSE.

WE HAVE THEM PUT TO SLEEP.

>> NO. WE LIE.

WE'LL LIE THROUGH OUR TEETH AND

THROW MONEY AT IT.

BUY THAT BASTARD A WHEELCHAIR.

WE'LL TAKE THEM MINIATURE

GOLFING, WHATEVER THE [GUITAR

FEEDBACK] PEOPLE DO.

WE'LL PRETEND WE'RE INTERESTED

IN WHAT THEY'RE ASKING, AND WHEN

THAT WEEKEND IS OVER, WE'LL SHIP

THEM OUT OF HERE, NEVER TO BE

SEEN AGAIN.

DEAL?

>> OK.

>> OH, WILLIAM, YOU'RE GOING TO

GO TO HEAVEN FOR THIS.

>> I'D RATHER DIE THAN GO TO

HEAVEN.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BACK.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

>> [COUGHING]

>> I KNOW. IT'S BEEN TEDIOUS.

>> I'VE MISSED YOU.

>> I'VE MISSED YOU, TOO.

>> NO. ALL I'M SAYING IS, I DID

SOME OF THE NUMBERS ALREADY, SO

I DID MOST OF THE WORK, RIGHT?

SO, ALL I NEED IS A PERCENTAGE

AND WHAT I NEED TO GET STARTED

TO GET THE LABEL--

YOU KNOW--PHONES, CHICKS TO

ANSWER THE PHONES, DESKS, ALL

THAT STUFF.

JUST NEED A COUPLE BUCKS.

YOU JUST SIGN THE CHECK. SEE?

I ALREADY WROTE OUT A CHECK

RIGHT THERE.

YOU JUST SING, ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW WHAT YOUR P.I.N. NUMBER

IS.

THAT'S NOT A THREAT, SO JUST--

I'M THE REAL DEAL, OK, NOT ONE

OF THESE FRIGGIN' ASSHOLES YOU

MEET SOMEWHERE.

>> WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT ALL

THIS COOL STUFF WHEN I COME OVER

AND VISIT NEXT WEEKEND?

>> I'M INTO THAT.

YOU TELL ME WHERE AND WHEN.

SEND ME A PLANE TICKET.

SEND ME AN E-TICKET.

>> RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> SORRY, SORRY. I JUST--

IT'S MY FAULT.

I CAN'T STAND TO SEE HER CHEW.

I JUST LOCKED IN ON IT.

MY FAULT. SORRY.

>> TIME TO GO. TIME TO GO.

EVERYONE GET PACKED UP.

WHERE'S THE FOLKS? HEY, HEY.

>> OH, IT CAN'T COMES ANY

FASTER.

I'VE HAD THIS SOUR STOMACH EVER

SINCE MY MOM HAS BEEN HERE.

>> TOKI HASN'T SAID ONE WORD.

>> MAYBE THEY DIED IN THEIR

SLEEP.

>> ALL RIGHT, DUDES.

CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

>> OH, NOT NOW, BRO.

WE GOT TO SEE EVERYBODY OFF FOR

NOW, FOR GOOD, TO THE AIRPORT.

UH, WHERE ARE THEY?

>> OK. HERE'S THE DEAL.

EVERYONE IS IN THE STUDIO, ALL

RIGHT?

WE WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE, YOU

KNOW, POWWOW, YOU KNOW?

>> IN THE STUDIO?

>> WE ARE GOING TO DO A DETHKLOK

FAMILY DEATH-METAL ALBUM.

THERE IT IS.

I SAID IT, OK, AND I GOT IT ALL

FIGURED OUT.

EVERYBODY IS ON BOARD.

NOW WE ALL CAN ENJOY THE FRUITS

OF OUR TALENTS.

AFTER ALL, HEY, YOU'RE MY LITTLE

BROTHER.

I FRIGGIN' LOVE YOU, BUT YOU

KNOW WHAT?

YOU GOT ALL OF YOUR IDEAS ABOUT

MUSIC FROM ME, AS FAR AS THE

IDEA TO BECOME A ROCK-AND-ROLL

STAR.

THAT WAS MINE, SO FACE IT.

YOU OWE ME.

UHH...UGH...

YOU'LL BE MAKING A PERCENTAGE.

>> FOR ONCE, IT IS NOT ABOUT THE

MONEY.

I DON'T WANT MY PARENTS DOING A

[GUITAR FEEDBACK] METAL ALBUM.

>> YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM

THEM.

WE'RE FAMILY.

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT?

>> WE ARE THE MOST BRUTAL BAND

IN THE WORLD.

WHAT DO ANY OF YOU KNOW ABOUT

BEING BRUTAL?

>> YEAH.

>> HELP ME.

>> YOU GUYS BETTER CHASE OUT, OR

YOU'RE GONNA HAVES EACH OTHER'S

LUNCH FOR DINNER.

>> DAD, HE'S CHOKING--HELP.

>> OW!

>> OH, YOU GUTLESS PIECES OF

LIVING GARBAGE, YOU THINK YOU

KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE

BRUTAL?

>> AAH! AAH!

>> CAN YOU IMAGINE CLEANING THE

FECULENT CUD OF THIS MORON'S

DIAPERS EVERY MORNING?

>> AAH!

>> LET ME TELL YOU BILLIONAIRE

LOWLIFES SOMETHING.

THERE'S NOTHING, NOTHING IN THIS

WORLD, MORE BRUTAL AND GROTESQUE

THAN RAISING CHILDREN.

>> YOU RUINED MY VAGINA.

>> I COULD NEVER LOSE THE WEIGHT

AFTER YOU WERE BORN, AND LOOK AT

THE VEINS IN MY BOSOM.

THEY'RE LIKE A ROADMAP OF

STOCKHOLM.

>> I USED TO BE HAPPY UNTIL YOU,

WHEN I START SPENDING ALL MY

TIME WITH HER AND I SPEND ALL MY

BEER MONEY ON LITTLE KIDS

CLOTHES.

THAT'S BRUTAL.

>> AAH!

>> AAH!

>> WAAH!

>> AAH!

>> BLAAH!

>> OHH!

>> AAH!

>> AAH!

>> AAH!

>> AAH AAH AAH!

>> WAAH!

>> UHH!

>> WAAH!

>> UHH!

>> WAAH!

>> UHH!

>> WAAH!

>> UHH!

>> AAH!

>> UHH!

>> AAH!

>> UHH!

>> AAH!

>> UHH!

>> AAH!

>> UHH! UHH!

>> MY BODY IS A LIFELESS CELL.

PLEASE, PLEASE KILL ME.

PLEASE KILL ME.

I HAVE NOT HAD AN ERECTION FOR

30 YEARS.

I JUST USED MY UNDERPANTS AS A

RESTROOM.

PLEASE KILL ME.

DEAR GOD, KILL ME.

KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME.

KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME.

KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME ME ME

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.

>> CHIRP.

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]