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>> THE LYRICS CLEARLY STATE, "GO
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INTO THE WATER.
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GO INTO THE WATER.
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LIVE THERE.
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DIE THERE."
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AND MY CLIENTS ALL
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TRIED TO BREATHE WATER AND
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NEARLY DIED BECAUSE OF THIS
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UNDERWATER ALBUM
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BY YOUR BAD DETHKLOK.
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>> WHY DON'T YOU GO BREATHE
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UNDERWATER?
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>> I SUGGEST THAT IT WAS YOUR
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INTENTION TO CREATE AN ALBUM
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THAT CAUSED DESTRUCTION TO HUMAN
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LIFE.
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>> SUGGEST ALL YOU WANT!
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IT WON'T MAKE YOUR WIENIE ANY
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BIGGER, YOU DILDO LIZARD!
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>> THIS BAND IS A DANGER TO THE
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HUMAN RACE.
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>> YOU'S A DANGER OF PUTTING US
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TO ASLEEP.
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I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT A SLEEPINGS
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BAG I KNOW THIS GUYS WAS GONNA
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SHOW UP.
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>> YOUR HONOR, WE DEMAND
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$50 MILLION FOR MEDICAL BILLS
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AND PUNITIVE DAMAGES.
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>> HEY, HOW ABOUT WE COMPROMISE.
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>> I'LL GIVE YOU HALF OF
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NOTHING.
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>> THE ALBUM CLEARLY STATES,
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"INTENDED FOR FISH ONLY."
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I REST MY CASE.
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>> NOT GUILTY.
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[HEAVY METAL PLAYING]
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[INDISTINCT SINGING]
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♪ DETHKLOK DETHKLOK DETHKLOK
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DETHKLOK ♪
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♪ DETHKLOK DETHKLOK ♪
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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
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>> WELL, THE REAL STUFF.
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>> WHATEVER.
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>> YOU PREFERRED THAT WE'D LOSE?
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>> NO.
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I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THE
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NEXT ALBUM.
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>> OH, RIGHT.
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YOU MEAN HOW WE SUPPOSED TO TOP
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AN ALBUM THAT MADE A MILLION
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PEOPLE ACCIDENTALLY KILL
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THEMSELVES.
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>> EXACTLY.
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>> OH.
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>> HEY, WHY DON'T WE JUST RECORD
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PEOPLE DYING?
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LIKE ALL THE WORLD LEADERS OR A
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BUNCH OF LADIES.
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THAT WOULD BE HEAVY.
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>> NAH.
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WE CAN'T REALLY GET WRITERS'
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CREDIT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
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>> GOOD POINT.
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YOU'RE UP, JUDGE ALFONZO.
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>> OH, THANK YOU, WILLIAM.
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>> WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKES A
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BREAK.
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YOU KNOW, BEING BLEAK AND DARK
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FOR A LIVING SOMETIMES MAKES YOU
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LOSE YOUR OBJECTIVITY FOR, YOU
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KNOW, BEING BLEAK AND DARK.
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>> AND NOW WE WILL AUCTION THE
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SKULL FROM THE FAMOUS COMEDIAN
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BUDDY HACKETT.
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WE'LL START THIS BID...$50,000.
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>> OH, I GOTS TO HAVE THAT.
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>> 50,000.
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DO I HEAR 60,000?
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>> [GRUNTS]
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>> THIS GOING TO BE A LONG
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NIGHT.
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[GUNFIRE]
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>> SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS WE
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DO THE OPPOSITE OF BLEAK AND
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DARK?
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>> YEAH.
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>> WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF
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TRAGEDY?
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>> COMEDY.
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>> IT APPEARS THAT DETHKLOK
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HAS TAKEN TO STUDYING COMEDY.
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THIS IS NOT GOOD, GENTLEMEN.
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>> ALL DUE RESPECT, SENATOR, HOW
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CAN THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO WORLD
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ECONOMICS?
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>> IT MEANS EVERYTHING.
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IT'S TRUE THAT COMEDY HAS BEEN
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NO THREAT TO US OVER THE LAST 15
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YEARS, BUT WITH DETHKLOK IN THE
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MIX, THEY THREATEN TO EXCITE A
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FIELD OF ENTERTAINMENT WE ALL
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KNOW TO BE DEAD.
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GENTLEMEN, OUR COMEDY SPECIALIST
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DR. DONALD GORTHIAN.
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>> WELL, THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD
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ARE DEPRESSED AND STUPID.
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THEY LOOK TO COMEDY TO LIGHTEN
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THE LOAD OF THEIR BORING,
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DREADFUL LIVES.
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THESE IDIOTS HAVE BEEN FORCE-FED
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GARBAGE FROM OUR OWN SECRET
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CABLE NETWORKS AND OUR OWN
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EMPLOYEES COVERING ITS HIGH-
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PROFILE STANDUP AND SKETCH
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COMICS.
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SHOULD WE LOSE CONTROL OF THIS,
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ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
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>> AUTOBOTS--REMEMBER THOSE?
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HOW ABOUT DECEPTICONS?
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REMEMBER THOSE?
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WHAT ABOUT MASTERS OF THE
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UNIVERSE?
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HEY, TALK ABOUT EGOMANIACS.
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MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE.
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"WE'RE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE."
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HEY, AT LEAST THEY AIN'T SMERSH.
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HUH?
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OR WORSE, SNORKS.
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REMEMBER THE--SNORKS.
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REMEMBER THOSE?
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THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE FALLING
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ASLEEP.
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SNORK.
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SNORKS.
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>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
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BE GENTLE.
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IT'S THEIR FIRST TIME ON
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STAGE--THE BROTHERS OF
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DECEPTION.
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[SPARSE APPLAUSE]
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>> SO, I WAS THINKING OF KILLING
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MYSELF.
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>> THAT'S FUNNY.
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I WAS THINKING OF KILLING YOU,
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TOO.
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>> WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
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[PLAYS FAST RIFF]
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>> MOM ALWAYS HATED YOU MOST.
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>> SHE HATES BOTH OF US THE
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MOST.
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[PLAYS RIFF]
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>> I HATE YOU SERIOUSLY.
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>> OK.
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WHAT IF YOUR GUTS WAS A BOWLING
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BALL?
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WELL, I BET IT WOULD LOOK
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SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
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YEAH.
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I'M REAL SICK OF MY BROTHER.
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YEAH, WE'RE TWINS.
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ANYBODY GOT TWINS OUT THERE?
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YEAH, I BET HE DON'T
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GOT ONE LIKE THIS.
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ME KUATO.
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OH, HEY, BODY BAG.
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HOW'S IT GOING?
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>> SMELLS LIKE SOMEBODY
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TOOK A CRAP IN HERE.
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>> OH, BODY BAG.
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OH, LOOK, BODY BAG.
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IT'S YOUR OLD FRIEND'S BRAINS.
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>> HEY, IDIOT, I'M BRAINS.
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I GO IN YOUR HEAD.
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>> OK.
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WE'RE GOING TO DELIGHT YOU ALL
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WITH A LITTLE IMPROVISATIONAL
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COMEDY.
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OK.
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AND ALL WE NEED TO GET STARTED
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IS ONE LOCATION.
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>> HOW ABOUT A DIFFERENT COMEDY
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CLUB?
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>> OK.
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I HEARD A GAS STATION.
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>> I'M A GAS-STATION ATTENDANT.
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>> FILL HER UP.
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I AM DRIVING A CORVETTE.
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IT'S MIDNIGHT BLUE WITH CHROME--
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>> HEY, PIPPIE LONGBORING,
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YOU SUCK!
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>> CAN YOU FILL IT JUST
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A LITTLE BIT FASTER.
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>> WELL, I'M DRUNK.
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I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A
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GAS CAN.
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>> THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S A STOOL,
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MURDERFACE.
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>> HEY, IDIOT, DON'T NEGATE THE
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PREMISE.
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>> IT'S ON--IT'S OVER THERE...
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WHEREVER.
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PLEASE, HERBIE, I WOULD LIKE TO
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LEAVE THIS HORRIBLE PLACE.
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>> YEAH.
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I SHOULD CHECK THE OIL.
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I'LL GO GET MY TOOLS.
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YOU KNOW WHAT?
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I'M GONNA LEAVE.
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THIS SUCKS.
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GOOD LUCK DYING OUT THERE.
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>> ARE YOU LEAVING?
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>> YES, I'M LEAVING.
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>> HEY, UGLY, WHAT ARE YOU JUST
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SITTING THERE FOR?
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MAKE US LAUGH!
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[CROWD BOOING]
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>> GET OFF THE STAGE!
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GET OFF THE STAGE!
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[CROWD CHANTING "GET OFF THE
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STAGE"]
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>> HELP ME.
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HELP ME...
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>> CUT KUATO?
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I'LL CUT BODY BAG BEFORE I CUT
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KUATO.
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KUATO STAYS.
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KUATO'S GOLD.
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>> THE BEST METAL BAND
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OF ALL TIME, AND WE
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GET BOOED OFF THE STAGE.
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>> THEY JUST DIDN'T GET IT.
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>> THEY'LL LAUGH AT THE DILDO
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WHO IS ON STAGE BEFORE US.
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>> THAT GUY WAS AMAZING.
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ARE YOU KIDDING?
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>> HE IS HORRIBLE, STOKIE.
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HE JUST MADE THE REFERENCE.
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"REMEMBER THIS?
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REMEMBER THAT?"
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HE IS DILDO.
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>> BUT YOU LAUGH.
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>> I DID?
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>> HE WAS PRETTY GOOD.
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>> HE WAS GREAT!
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>> UM, MAYBE WE'LL DO BETTER
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TOMORROW.
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>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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I DIED UP THERE.
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IT WAS BRUTAL, AND I AIN'T NEVER
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GOING BACK UP THERE AGAIN 'CAUSE
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I AIN'T FUNNY, AND NEITHER ARE
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ANY OF YOU.
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I'M DARK AND BRUTAL AND FILLED
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WITH HATRED.
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I AIN'T GOT NO SENSE OF HUMOR.
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YOU WANT TO DO COMEDY, DO IT
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WITHOUT ME.
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I'M LEAVING.
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>> AYE.
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COMEDY AIN'T NEVER ABOUT HUMOR.
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'TAINT NO DIFFERENCE IF YOU ASK
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ME.
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>> BUT THAT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO
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MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL.
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>> COMEDY IS ABOUT EXPRESSING
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YOUR HATE.
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00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:40,918
THE MORE HATE YOU HAVE, THE
270
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,210
FUNNIER THOSE RUSTY DILDOS
271
00:07:42,293 --> 00:07:43,210
SITTING AT THEM TABLES WILL
272
00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:44,710
THINK YOU ARE.
273
00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:45,460
>> BUT I BOMB, AND I HATE
274
00:07:45,543 --> 00:07:46,501
EVERYTHING.
275
00:07:46,585 --> 00:07:47,751
>> AYE.
276
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,668
BUT DO YOU HATE YOURSELF?
277
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,085
>> HATE MYSELF?
278
00:07:51,168 --> 00:07:52,085
>> AH, YEAH.
279
00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:53,210
ESPECIALLY NOW, EH.
280
00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:55,293
BOMBING ON STAGE, AND MR.
281
00:07:55,376 --> 00:07:57,793
TANGERINE PIGTAILS WENT RUNNING
282
00:07:57,876 --> 00:07:59,043
AWAY.
283
00:07:59,126 --> 00:08:00,251
WILL TAKE SOME TIME FOR HIM TO
284
00:08:00,085 --> 00:08:01,710
RECOVER FROM THAT HORROR HE WENT
285
00:08:01,793 --> 00:08:03,085
THROUGH.
286
00:08:03,168 --> 00:08:04,585
>> I HATE MYSELF.
287
00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:06,085
>> YEAH.
288
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:07,793
NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT.
289
00:08:07,876 --> 00:08:09,126
AND ONCE YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH
290
00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:11,710
WITH YOUR INNER HATRED, YOU CAN
291
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,543
UNLEASH IT INTO THE WORLD.
292
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,085
AND ONCE YOU EMBRACE YOUR HATE,
293
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:17,543
YOU WILL MURDER THEM, AND YOU
294
00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:18,335
WILL KILL.
295
00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:26,918
YOU WILL KILL!
296
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:27,793
>> ♪ STEP BEFORE THE JURY
297
00:08:27,876 --> 00:08:29,043
DRAW YOUR FRIENDS OF FURY
298
00:08:29,126 --> 00:08:30,126
CORPORATE GREED IS DEATH
299
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:30,918
HATE JUDGES
300
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,460
STEP INTO THE SPOTLIGHT... ♪
301
00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:40,960
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
302
00:08:43,085 --> 00:08:46,251
♪ YOU I HATE
303
00:08:46,335 --> 00:08:50,876
AWAIT YOUR DEATH ♪
304
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:59,168
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
305
00:09:32,335 --> 00:09:33,168
>> ALL RIGHT.
306
00:09:33,251 --> 00:09:35,251
EVERYONE DO A CRAPPY JOB.
307
00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:37,085
REMEMBER TO HATE YOURSELVES.
308
00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:38,668
>> OH, YEAH!
309
00:09:38,751 --> 00:09:40,585
>> WELL, I REALLY HATE MYSELF.
310
00:09:40,668 --> 00:09:43,126
>> PICKLE, YOU BACK!
311
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,960
WE THINK YOU LEAVE FOR GOOD.
312
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,085
>> BOMBING ON STAGE REALLY
313
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,168
SCREWED ME UP.
314
00:09:47,251 --> 00:09:48,918
I CAN'T EVEN PLAY MY DOUCHE-BAG
315
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:50,335
DRUMS NO MORE 'CAUSE OF STUPID
316
00:09:50,418 --> 00:09:51,126
COMEDY.
317
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:52,335
>> AH, YOU KNOW THERE'S ONLY ONE
318
00:09:52,418 --> 00:09:53,751
WAY TO FIX THAT.
319
00:09:53,835 --> 00:09:55,460
YOU GOTTA GET BACK UP THERE.
320
00:09:55,543 --> 00:09:56,293
>> BUT I CAN'T DO--
321
00:09:56,376 --> 00:09:57,501
>> WHAT, WHAT?
322
00:09:57,585 --> 00:09:58,918
>> THE AUDIENCE.
323
00:09:59,001 --> 00:09:59,960
>> AYE.
324
00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:02,126
THE AUDIENCE.
325
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,251
NOW GATHER ROUND, ALL YA.
326
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:05,751
I'VE BEEN TALKING A LOT ABOUT
327
00:10:05,835 --> 00:10:07,835
HATRED, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING
328
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:10,126
BIGGER OUT THERE, SOMETHING YOU
329
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,876
SHOULD HATE EVEN MORE THAN
330
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,751
ANYTHING, AND THAT'S THE
331
00:10:14,835 --> 00:10:16,126
AUDIENCE.
332
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:18,418
>> AND NOW PLEASE WELCOME TO THE
333
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:22,168
STAGE PICKLES.
334
00:10:22,251 --> 00:10:25,251
>> SO, ANYSWAYS, I JUST GOT BACK
335
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:28,793
FROM A VACATION, AND I WENT TO
336
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:31,335
THE BEACH FOR VACATION.
337
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:32,126
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT AT THE
338
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,210
BEACH?
339
00:10:34,085 --> 00:10:35,168
SAND.
340
00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:38,335
>> OH, MY EYE!
341
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:43,085
I CAN'T SEE!
342
00:10:43,168 --> 00:10:45,043
>> OK, ALL RIGHT.
343
00:10:45,126 --> 00:10:46,251
SO I DONATED BLOOD THE OTHER
344
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:47,210
DAY.
345
00:10:47,293 --> 00:10:49,126
NOT MINE.
346
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:49,793
GUYS WANT TO SEE ME DONATE SOME
347
00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:51,126
BLOOD TO YOU?
348
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:52,126
HUH?
349
00:10:52,210 --> 00:10:52,793
DO YOU?
350
00:10:52,876 --> 00:10:54,001
OK.
351
00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:55,168
WOO HOO!
352
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:56,710
WOO HOO HOO HOO!
353
00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,543
>> OH, YEAH!
354
00:10:58,626 --> 00:11:00,085
>> WOO HOO HOO HOO!
355
00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,210
WOO!
356
00:11:01,043 --> 00:11:02,585
YEAH!
357
00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:05,168
>> UH, CAN'T TEACH HIM NO MORE.
358
00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:06,168
>> WOO!
359
00:11:06,251 --> 00:11:07,126
YEAH!
360
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,085
[GUNFIRE]
361
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,251
YEAH!
362
00:11:10,085 --> 00:11:11,085
>> UH-OH.
363
00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:14,668
I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE NRA.
364
00:11:14,751 --> 00:11:17,960
ANY OF YOU DILDOS WANT TO
365
00:11:18,043 --> 00:11:19,376
FIGHT, HUH?
366
00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:20,585
WHAT ABOUT YOU, GRANDMA?
367
00:11:20,668 --> 00:11:22,043
HUH?
368
00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:24,376
AW, I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU.
369
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,251
>> CHIRP.
370
00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:27,085
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
371
00:11:27,168 --> 00:11:29,085
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]
372
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:30,126
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
373
00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:30,710
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
374
00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:31,835
--www.ncicap.org--]
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