Original subtitles

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

ON BASS GUITAR...

WILLIAM MURDERFACE.

>> MURDERFACE!

MURDERFACE!

MURDERFACE!

MURDERFACE!

MURDERFACE!

[GUITAR PLAYING]

[PLAYING FASTER]

>> HEY!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> ALL RIGHT.

POUR IT IN.

EASY, EASY, EASY.

>> HEY, PICKLE, TELL MURDERFACE

WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME

ABOUT THAT GUY.

>> OH, RIGHT.

>> HILARIOUS.

>> THAT DUDE YOU HEAD-BUTTED?

THE GUY WAS A DANISH PRINCE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

>> PFFF! THE DUTCH.

>> OH, CHECK IT OUT.

HE'S GOT A BRAIN CONTUSION

AND A FRACTURED SKULL.

OH, AND HE'S LAST IN LINE

FOR THE DANISH ROYALTY.

THAT IS MESSED UP, DUDE.

>> WELL, THAT'S WHAT HE GETS

FOR GOING AFTER MY HARP.

>> AWESOME.

>> DUDE, I WOULD HAVE DONE

THE SAME THING.

DUTCH.

>> YEAH, WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.

I MEAN, YOU'RE GETTING REALLY

GOOD AT HEAD-BUTTING.

>> [MUMBLING]

BUNCH OF JERKS, ANYWAY.

>> HEY, LOOK AT THIS.

>> GOT E-VITES.

>> A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR

MURDERFACE?

>> WHERE IS IT GOING TO BE?

IN THE TOILET, IN A BUS STATION?

>> OH, THAT'S BRUTAL.

>> CAN YOU BELIEVE,

RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

JUST MAKING UP LIKE THIS?

>> WAIT A MINUTE.

THE GUY'S A NIHILIST.

WHAT DOES HE WANT A BIRTHDAY

FOR?

>> INSIDE, OUTSIDE,

UP OR DOWN.

SHOW UP IF YOU WANT.

WHO GIVES A PISS?

>> OH...ME.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET HIM

A GIFT.

>> ♪ DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK

DETHKLOK, DETHKLOK ♪

[GUITAR RIFF]

DETH...

KLOK...

♪ DETHKLOK! DETHKLOK!

SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF

TALLER THAN A TREE

TOKI WARTOOTH

NOT A BUMBLE BEE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE

MURDERFACE, MURDERFACE

PICKLES THE DRUMMER

DOODILY DOO, DING-DONG DOODILY

DOODILY DOO

NATHAN EXPLOSION ♪

>> IT SEEMS THAT WILLIAM

MURDERFACE'S BIRTHDAY HAS

THOUSANDS OF FANS RIOTING

IN THE STREETS OF PARIS.

APPARENTLY, MURDERFACE MADE

SOME DISPARAGING REMARKS

ABOUT THE LOUVRE...

>> 30,000 PIECES OF ART

AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

THEY ALL STINK LIKE...

>> [SPEAKING FRENCH]

VIVE...

>> FIRES ARE RAGING IN THE SOUTH

AS MORE FANS CELEBRATE

WILLIAM MURDERFACE'S BIRTHDAY--

>> I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

I'M GONNA KILL EVERYTHING

IN SIGHT.

DETHKLOK RULES!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MURDERFACE.

WHA! WHOO-HOO!

>> WE'VE CENSORED THE MEDIA

SINCE THESE FANS HAVE DECIDED

THAT MASS DESTRUCTION WOULD

MAKE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY GIFT.

I BELIEVE WE'RE ALL IN GREAT

DANGER.

>> MILITARY'S ON ALERT.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

>> RECENT POLLS INDICATE

THAT HALF THE MILITARY ARE

RABID DETHKLOK FANS.

NOW, IF YOU'D PLEASE TURN

YOUR ATTENTION TO OUR BIRTHDAY

EXPERT--DR. GIBBITS.

>> YES.

WILLIAM MURDERFACE'S CHARTS

INDICATE A DEEP-SEATED RAGE

WHICH IS SPLIT OFF AND

REPRESSED AT ITS CORE.

HIS SELF-LOATHING IS EXPRESSED

MOST PUBLICLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY

THROUGH BODILY MUTILATION,

TATTOOING, ALCOHOL ABUSE,

AND COBRAPHILIA.

HE BLAMES OTHERS FOR HIS ANGER.

HE MISPLACES HIS RAGE

AND ITS ROOTS.

HE SEEKS PUNISHMENT,

CASTIGATION,

AND EXCOMMUNICATION.

THIS SELF-DESTRUCTION IS

THE ONLY WAY TO VALIDATE

POWERFUL VOICES HE INTERNALIZED

AS A CHILD.

THIS, COMBINED WITH HIS IMMENSE

WEALTH AND POPULARITY, SHOULD

MAKE FOR A MONUMENTALLY

HORRIFIC BIRTHDAY.

>> HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET

HIM A GIFT?

ALL HE WANTS IS MORBID CRAP,

AND HE'S ALREADY GOT JUST

ABOUT EVERYTHING.

LOOK.

>> GIVE THAT HERE!

>> PICK IT UP. HA HA!

>> CAN'T WE JUST GIVE HIM

SOME CASH?

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

>> NOT LIKE "POR-CHASE"

ANYTHING, LIKE MAKE SOMETHING.

>> AND THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.

IT'S GOT TO BE TOTALLY METAL.

GOT IT?

>> OR, MAYBE LIKE, WE GET HIM

AN ENDANGERED SPECIES AND THEN

WE COULD KILL IT?

THAT'D BE COOL.

I JUST READ ABOUT THIS THING

ONLINE.

YOU CAN BUY A STAR AND NAME IT.

LIKE, WHAT IF WE NAMED IT,

LIKE, MUHAMMAD ALI,

THE BLACK PRIZE FIGHTER?

THAT WOULD BE HIS GIFT.

...YOU.

>> WAIT A MINUTE.

I GOT IT.

WE'LL GIVE HIM THE BLACKEST,

MOST MEANINGLESS GIFT OF ALL.

[EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYS]

>> THE QUEEN OF DENMARK

WITH HER SON PRINCE HENRY.

>> THIS IS AN ORIGINAL

MANUSCRIPT FROM PETYR KORN

LIZENHUFT, DENMARK'S MOST FAMOUS

POET.

>> WAS HE MURDERED?

>> NO.

>> HOW MUCH DID IT COST?

>> THIS IS...

>> AW, JUST KEEP IT.

I'M GETTING THE CRAPPIEST GIFTS.

ARE YOU GIVING ME A SHARPIE

FOR MY BIRTHDAY?

>> HE'S ASKING FOR YOUR

AUTOGRAPH.

>> HERE, LET ME SIGN.

>> OW!

>> THE DUTCH ARE SCUM.

>> WHAT IS THAT, METAL FROSTING?

THAT'S AMAZING.

>> PLEASE DO NOT SAMPLE

THE FROSTING.

IT'S MADE OF MERCURY.

YOU WILL DIE.

>> THIS IS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL,

YOU KNOW, SAUSAGE FESTIVAL.

>> I LOVE SAUSAGE FESTIVAL.

LIKE IN VIENNA.

>> NO, TOKI, THAT WAS

A SAUSAGE FESTIVAL.

>> THAT WAS GOOD.

>> YEAH.

WITH VIENNA PORK SAUCE...

NO, THIS MEANS THAT THERE'S

NO GOOD-LOOKING LADIES TO PUT

YOU-KNOW-WHAT INTO SIDE OF THEM.

>> THE SAUSAGE?

>> YEAH.

ANYWAY, WHAT WERE YOU TALKING

ABOUT, LIKE, A SECOND AGO?

I'M SORRY I CUT YOU OFF.

>> OH, I GOT TO MAKE SOMETHING

FOR MURDERFACE.

I'M GONNA MAKE HIM A MACARONI

MURDER LADY.

>> I'M SURE HE'LL HATE THAT.

PARDON ME.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

WELCOME TO THE PARTY.

AS YOU WELL KNOW, NO PARTY

IS COMPLETE WITHOUT A BIRTHDAY

PARTY CLOWN.

WE HAVE ONE OF THE FINEST

ROCK 'N' ROLL CLOWNS AROUND.

SO, PLEASE PUT YOUR HANDS--

YO, HERE COMES THE ROCK 'N' ROLL

CLOWN.

[GUITAR RIFF]

>> ♪ OH! K-K-K-YEAH! ♪

I'M DR. ROCKSO

THE ROCK 'N' ROLL CLOWN.

I DO COCAINE.

K-K-K-YEAH!

I HEAR IT'S SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY.

I DO COCAINE.

DR. ROCKSO GONNA MAKE YOU

A BALLOON FACE.

SERIOUSLY, DUDE, A LOT OF

COCAINE.

TRY IT OUT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I THINK SOMEONE'S OUT OF TUNE.

JUST A LITTLE MORE.

YOU POPPED A STRING.

HA HA!

[ELECTRIC GUITARS PLAYING]

[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

>> NOW, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

FROM ME,

OTHER THAN THE WORST PARTY

IN THE HISTORY OF PISS?

>> CHECK, CHECK.

MURDER, SLASH.

THAT'S GOOD.

♪ MANY YEARS AGO TODAY

SOMETHING GREW INSIDE OF

YOUR MOTHER

THAT THING WAS YOU ♪

♪ YOU ♪

♪ YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU

DID SHE SCREAM?

DID SHE CRY?

ONE MORE YEAR GOES BY...

[GUITAR DROWNS OUT LYRICS]

R.S.V.P. PLEASE

FOR THE DEATH OF KINGS

YOU HAVE LITTLE TIME

YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF LIFE

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

YOU'RE GONNA DIE ♪

>> MMM...

>> ♪ DEATH

DIE

DEATH

DEATH

MURDER

DEATH

DEATH

DIE

DEATH

DEATH

DEATH

DEATH

DEATH, DEATH, DEATH, DEATH

DIE ♪

AND NOW THE BLACKEST PRESENT

FOR THE MOST BRUTAL OF ALL

BASS PLAYERS.

NOTHING!

>> OH, YOU SUCK.

>> AW!

>> YOU ALL SUCK!

>> WHAT'S WRONG?

>> GO PLAY RECORDS BACKWARDS

AND KILL YOURSELF.

>> HEY, FATSO!

WE GOT YOUR FAVORITE THING.

DISAPPOINTMENT.

>> I GUESS THIS IS A GOOD TIME

TO START MY SIDE BAND--

PLANET PISS.

I SHALL SEND FOR THE REST

OF MY PARCELS IN THE MORNING.

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

>> ATTENTION!

YOU BIG BABY!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING,

GOING FOR A CRY BABY WALK?

>> HEY, WHY'S EVERYBODY

WEARING CAMOUFLAGE?

YOU JOINING THE MARINES?

>> WE WANTED TO, UH, SURPRISE

YOU...IN OUTFITS.

>> IT'S A STUPID NAVY SEAL.

>> THAT'S PART OF THE SURPRISE.

>> WHY?

>> BECAUSE IT MAKES IT HARDER

TO SEE.

THAT'S AWESOME.

>> HEY, DOUCHE BAG.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

>> WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> BIG PHAT TIRES

AND EVERYTHING.

>> BUT I ALREADY GOT, LIKE,

A MILLION LIMOS.

>> DUDE, NOT LIKE THIS ONE.

THIS IS THE LIMO THAT KENNEDY

GOT HIS BRAINS SMASHED OPEN IN

WITH A BULLET.

>> SO?

>> PUKED UP AND DESECRATED.

>> YEAH, DUDE, IN THE DRIVER'S

SEAT IS THE CHAIR FROM, LIKE,

WHERE PRESIDENT LINCOLN WAS SHOT

AND ASSASSINATED IN.

>> AND YOU'RE ENTERED IN

THE FIRST-EVER DETHKLOK

DEATH-MOLITION KLOK-AMATAY

DEATH DERBY.

>> AND I MADE YOU THIS

MACARONI MURDER LADY.

WHAT USED TO BE THE RED HOTS

FOR THE BLOOD, BUT I ATE THEM.

>> YOU MEAN, I GET TO DESTROY

UNITED STATES HISTORY?

[INDISTINCT]

AAAH!

TAKE THAT, AMERICA!

AAAH!

>> ♪ R.S.V.P. PLEASE

FOR THE DEATH OF KINGS

YOU HAVE LITTLE TIME

YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF LIFE

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

YOU'RE GONNA DIE ♪

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

♪ DIE, DIE, DEATH, DEATH ♪