Original subtitles

So it begins, my gruelling penance.

Your holiday. Don't be discouraged by the deluge, Aaron.

Paradise awaits.

I don't know why you bothered to bring a tent.

We're about to enter the lap of luxury.

THUNDER CRASHES

No reason, Aaron, but when was your last tetanus jab?

DOOR OPENS

Rachel. Miss. How did you know I was here?

Deduction.

The library was closed.

The sixth form common room has become a kind of pit.

I knew you'd take refuge here.

Did you confiscate someone's vodka bottle?

Confiscate.

Yes, yes. Yes, let's go with that.

So, slight admin error.

This is the login for your uni applications. OK.

I've got ages for these.

If you're applying for core subjects, then, yes,

you get three months. You pick medicine,

the window is narrower. How much narrower?

Three months narrower.

Applications close at midnight.

I think I'm having a panic attack.

You look fine.

I've learned to hide them. If it helps,

I've definitely screwed up my own life more than yours.

I can't do this, miss. I have classes.

I have an important date with my boyfriend tonight.

We met a month ago today. I can excuse you from your other classes.

And if you need me to call your boyfriend and tell him

that one-month anniversaries aren't a thing, I can.

I'd do that for you.

Go to my room, log into my computer.

The password's J-O-E-L.

Joel?

Your ex? Yes.

It's unhealthy, and it's a weak password.

Oh...

I'm going to call you other teachers.

Let's go with medical emergency.

Do you still have your appendix? Yes. Right.

From now on, remember - you don't.

# Precious Lord

# Take my hand... #

Agh!

# ..Lead me on... #

That's a lovely placard.

Yes.

Wanted everyone to know just how precious this tree is.

Sometimes I see birds on it and I think, "Hey, get off my wife!"

Well, it's good you commemorating her in a healthy way.

Do you still have the ring?

Yes. She asked me to keep it safe.

It's just that, at night, sometimes I miss it so much

I feel like running to your door and demanding it from you.

Fiona, give me my ring back! This door won't stop me!

HE CHUCKLES

Andrew, I'll leave you to talk to your wife.

Hiya. Just stocking up for girls' night. Look.

Gift me store manager.

I hope that's not alcoholic wine. Of course not.

I respect your deranged beliefs.

Is Andrew OK?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, miss, I'm about halfway through.

Could you proof-read what I've got? Absolutely.

Here's what I would say if I hadn't just been suspended.

What?! And I've not got long.

So if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to start packing my stuff.

SHE SIGHS

I'm also taking some things I don't own but I do want.

How did this happen?

Is it because you lied about my appendix? No.

It'll take months for that to get exposed.

Last night, I booty-called my ex.

He said he'd moved on.

I didn't handle it well.

And now there's a video online of me swallowing a shot glass whole.

And the video got you suspended? Once the headmistress found out

that I'd forwarded the clip to the entire parents' mailing list.

But miss... Not miss any more, Rachel, just Susie Simmonds.

A basic alliterative bitch. Should you be saying that word?

Well, I can say anything I want now. It's the only perk.

Five minutes of packing immunity,

and then I go from teacher to presumed paedophile.

Hey, you can do this. And don't worry about me.

I'll either clean up or carry on drinking until I die.

Both paths have their benefits.

But what about the computer?

I'm sure my replacement will let you use it.

Oh, Miss Simmons said I could... My room. Get out.

BOOKS SLAM

Good news. I was worried about this leaky butane can

but it's completely empty.

Not our problem now.

My penance is going great.

I feel manlier than Adam's rib.

My roof patch is holding well.

It's bulging down like an ominous watery blister.

It's holding well. SLOSHING

Why did you bring me here, Dad?

You're getting baptised in a couple of weeks.

I thought it'd be good to... Talk about my drawings.

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No. The drawings are...fine.

Nothing I find uncomfortable here.

There's Jesus washing Peter's feet,

just like in the Gospel. Admit it!

You brought me to this cursed misery barn to ask me about my drawings.

So ask me!

Why...did you...

..choose charcoal for this particular composition?

I just want you to be OK, Aaron.

I'd do anything to help you.

Then take us home. No, because...

If you're going to make me stay here, I'll survive on my own!

You take this half, and I'll take that half.

Don't be petty, Aaron.

How would we even mark out which side was...?

Right! If you want to banish me, fine.

But you're not as smart as you think you are,

because you gave me the side with the tent.

Julia, you said I could borrow your laptop. Uh-huh.

Just move a bit to the left.

A bit more.

You've got me blocking the CCTV.

You've made me an accomplice to a crime. Yeah.

But if you move, you will have betrayed a friend.

You're trapped in a moral prison.

Now, stay there until I get all the twenties.

This is the worst day of my life.

Can I please have the laptop now?

Sure you're ready for it? There's some dark stuff on there.

The thumbnails alone will take your innocence.

Please... Give me some juice first.

Your hints of lukewarm gossip sustain me.

I'm seeing Joshua tonight for our one-month anniversary.

What the fuck is a one-month anniversary?

It's been one month since God brought us together.

You're not serious? Yeah.

Look, he made me this invite.

"For one night only, you're invited to Romance Central."

Oh, my God, you're soulmates!

Destiny has united you as the lamest, most boring couple possible.

If you had a kid, you'd give birth to a water biscuit

or a ream of printer paper or a dry felt tip.

You're boring. You're a boring woman.

It's not boring.

There's a picture of his head on James Bond.

Ah, the body of a 1960s misogynist on the head of a present-day dweeb.

What did you say his name was again? Joshua. Why?

No reason.

Happy for you.

COINS CLATTER

Sometimes the old ways are the best.

RUSTLING

How's it going, Dad?

I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

Found the connector?

I'm sure it's here somewhere. Ahem!

Aaron, if you have any love for your father,

you'll pass that to me now.

I brought you here to cheer you up, Aaron.

And you have succeeded.

Got any wine glasses?

Buying vessels designed for alcohol would be a gateway to vice,

but there are mugs top right.

Right, Conquistadors it is.

Is it a religious show?

It has a lot of religious imagery.

SPANISH ON TV

KEYPAD BEEPS

OK, that label is for me girlfriend.

If this is another guy looking for sex... No, it's me.

But just so you know... Oh, come on up.

Hey, you. Josh, um, what are you wearing?

A tailcoat. I wanted a tux about the charity shop

gave me a great deal.

Apparently, this used to be owned by a funeral director

who himself died. Wow. OK.

You didn't need to tell me that. No, before I come in...

MUSIC PLAYS

Ta-da!

Fancy, right?

I've got an actual table.

What's up?

I'm so sorry. I have this uni application.

My teacher sprung it on me, and the deadline is tonight.

OK.

Are you sure?

I mean, it's a big deal, obviously.

A one-month, but your uni thing might be bigger,

so you work. Are you gonna be OK?

I'll keep myself entertained.

I'm going out now so I can share with you my darkest secret.

Those are both games. No.

They're my friend since leaving the order.

This box claims to need three to five players.

But after my modifications, it's a single-player thrill ride.

And you keep them in the kitchen. This is just overspill.

These are me Euro games. Living room's got war games,

bedroom's got deck bills.

In the hallway, I've got my pushy little dexterity games,

if I want a more tactile gaming experience.

I've never been to a party.

I don't own an album.

But even to me, you are a lame duck...

OK. ..in a dead guy's tailcoat.

Is that a problem?

No.

All right, you focus on your work.

I'm going to become the most famous architect in Luxembourg.

MOANING ON TV Well, I like the series,

but you could have told me how racy this was.

I said it'd be thought provoking, and I stand by that.

Which Conquistador do you fancy? None of them.

Admit it's Ignacio.

I fancy Ignacio.

I'm gay, not blind.

Hunt me with your dogs, Inquisition Man.

I will concede he has very athletic stomach muscles.

They're called abs, Fiona.

Or "abdominales" in Spanish.

More fake wine?

Fuck, no. What, have you run out?

Oh, God.

I think I've given you real... actual, real wine, Fiona.

Please don't be mad.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

RAIN SPATTERS

Aaron, this has gone on long enough. You're cold.

Will you admit you want to talk about my drawings?

No.

But I will prove my manhood by starting a fire.

You don't think it's a good idea to stake your masculinity on

a half empty box of matches?

It's not half empty.

There are three matches.

The Trinity was good enough for God.

One down.

Agh!

Dad, just admit you don't know what you're doing.

I can make a fire, Aaron.

Not just a fire. Everything!

Me, Mum, Rachel.

You have no idea what's happening and what you're supposed to do.

How could you say something so horrible? Because it's the truth.

But if you'd just admit it, it all made much more sense.

I can't do that.

I won't.

I still have one match left.

It worked.

I'm a man, Aaron! I'm a man!

STEADY DRIPPING

It's true.

It's all true.

I haven't got a clue.

I know I want you to be happy.

I want you to be safe.

But I'm a bad dad.

Bad husband.

I can't even make a fire.

I want to be there for you, Aaron.

I really do.

I know.

I think you DID start a fire.

It's very kind of you to say, Aaron.

The sofa's on fire.

Oh, my gosh!

I did it.

I did it. Dad, I'm breathing in smoke.

Right, yes. We should leave immediately.

SLURRED: Wow.

She really showed her husband! What, by cheating on him

with a cruel, colonial overseer? DRINK POURS

He had better abdominales.

I'm scared of what I've created.

Sober Fiona would never be this exciting.

Shush.

I'm exciting.

FIONA GIGGLES

Do you dare me to put on Andrew's wedding ring?

Don't get it stuck.

It's stuck. Yeah.

Ohhh.

Oh...

God's not going to be happy with me about that.

That's it.

Luxembourg's first Art-Nouveau library is complete.

Ten victory points and me buildings endorsed

by the Grand Duchy. How are you getting on?

I'm nearly done, but I can't find my file.

I'm going to have to go into Julia's downloads.

Pray for my soul.

Oh, my gosh!

You know Julia? What?

Julia, my friend.

There's pictures of you two at summer camp.

Oh, my gosh!

You guys are friends.

Oh, we should all hang out.

You're GOOD friends!

REALLY good friends...

You should talk.

SPANISH CONTINUES ON TV

You ruined me with this wine, Melissa.

You made me open the second bottle.

You ruined me.

Check it out.

I got two husbands - hot one and a David one.

David's good.

Not like my mum.

She wants me to go to uni.

Now I can't even talk to her.

Did she pass away?

Close. She got kicked out for adultery.

Spiritually, she's dead.

Like Ignacio.

A sexy mutiny.

Family's pretty messed up. No wonder you prefer

a 4K sticking plaster to your own husband.

I don't prefer a sticking plaster.

This is a TV.

I wouldn't look at those flats if you're feeling sad.

There'll just be someone sadder staring back.

I once saw a guy throw his own baby's trike off the balcony.

How about you stop hiding behind one-liners and explain?

We, um...

..hooked up at summer camp.

Hooked up?

We slept together.

That's why I got excluded.

Right.

The first day we met, you said you didn't want to know,

so I didn't tell you. Rachel, all I want is for you to feel safe.

I know how hard it is to even consider leaving the order.

Who said anything about me leaving the order?

Well, how did you imagine the future?

Maybe I thought you'd realise what a lonely life you have

and you'd want to come back.

Beg forgiveness.

Beg forgiveness for the awful, selfish thing you did.

Rachel!

I'm not coming back.

OK.

HE SIGHS

DOOR CLOSES

INTERCOM RINGS

Rachel?

MAN OVER INTERCOM: Hi. I am looking for a ticket to Romance Central.

Oh, fuck off.

SING-SONG: I'm coming. I'm coming.

Hi. Andrew. Hello. Hi, Fiona.

Sorry to call so late,

but the pangs of grief have grown unbearable.

I've come from Mary's wedding ring. Yeah.

Look, I've considered remarriage, but Mary was my one.

I don't need two wives in Paradise.

It's not as if they've got different taste in crockery.

It's just... Hmm. Cups and plates.

HE SNIFFS

Is that alcohol on your breath?

Are you...are you drunk?

No!

Your voice sounds different.

SHRILL: My voice sounds the same.

Oh, Fiona, if you've turned to alcohol and you need help...

I am not drunk, I swear.

Scout's honour.

Are you wearing Mary's ring?

Oh, no... Give it back, please.

It's like when you're a boy but you have the pecs of a man.

I think you may have got it stuck. Agh!

Oh, Mary, and your tiny hands!

Come to my house. I've got some WD-40.

I'll go wherever you take me, Andrew. Oh...

Right, come on!

I can't believe this. I entrusted you something extremely precious.

Sorry, I think...

SHE GAGS

I think I'm going to...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm not going to.

Do you...? Yep.

I am.

Mary!

SHE VOMITS AGAIN

You've defiled Mary!

Sorry, Mary.

SHE VOMITS

You're warm now, right?

I provide for my family.

GLASS SHATTERS

When we get home, let's do something fun together.

Anything you want.

There's an exhibition in town.

It's on influential Cubist art.

Aaron, I'd love to take you.

Is there an admission fee?

No. I'd love to take you.

I want you to know about the drawings.

I may not fully understand them, but I'm here for you...

..even if I am a bad dad.

A competent father could give more

but he could never give as much.

I managed to retrieve this.

# On a cross long ago

# Our Saviour died one day

# To save the souls of men and wipe their sins away... #

Rachel!

Mum.

Why is your hair a destructive plait?

Why are you scraping sick off a tree?

I'll see you tomorrow.

# ..On your knees and pray

# That dark day our dear Lord hung there

# His body filled with pain

# Around his head the thorns did lay

# His blood did fall like rain

# He lifted up his head to God

# Beyond the sky so blue

# Forgive them, Father Jesus cried

# They know not what they do

# On a cross long ago

# Our Saviour died one day

# If for what he's done you're thankful... #

David, I'm so glad you're here!

# ..Fall on your knees and pray. #

Welcome home.

Ooh! What happened to your finger?

Absolutely nothing.

The important thing is, I'm back with it now

and I won't let our family stray any further from the path.

How was the trailer?

Gone. What? We burnt it down. It was great.

Got a surprise for you.

We stopped by the framer's on the way home.

Is Jesus trying to kiss John the Baptist?

We'll talk later.

Wow.

Nice eight-pack.

Yeah.

Come on, then.

OK, Aaron. Let's go see those influential cubes.

MOUSE CLICKS

# On a cross a long ago

# Our Saviour died one day

# To save the souls of men and wash their sins away

# Now, God had a reason for his Son to die that day

# If for what he's done you're thankful

# Fall on your knees and pray... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media