Original subtitles

Congratulations, Jake!

You are our winner!

You said if I win, I could go home.

It's time... for the final round!

Pick a box. Pull the string.

Win a prize.

And then I get to go?

If you pull the right string.

What if I pull the wrong string?

Well, everyone's a winner.

Pull a string!

I'll do anything, please, please.

Pull it!

Pull it.

Looks like you won a shotgun.

Courtesy of our friends down at the shotgun factory.

Not just any old gun, a Shotgun-brand shotgun.

Please, you said I can live.

You promised.

Well, people say a lot of things.

Thanks for playing, Jake,

and we'll see you next time.

No, no.

Please, please.

Please, please, help me!

Please, help me!

♪ Are you ready Are you ready for it?♪

♪ If you wonder What I'm saying♪

♪ Don't you keep me waiting♪

♪ Like la, la, la♪

♪ Woo-hoo! If you wanna...♪

Wow! This place is legit amazing!

Yup, whoever said money can't buy happiness

clearly couldn't afford a 4,000-square-foot summer house.

Your rich uncle killed himself.

Yeah, but he wasn't like rich-rich,

his wife tanked his investments,

that's why he went...

- What? - The trust fund baby and I will get the bags,

we'll meet you inside.

Matthew.

Always the gentleman.

Wait, no! Equal rights.

Or am I forgetting something?

Yup, you seem to get it pretty clear.

Carry my shit.

I'm not one of your ugly-ass rescue dogs.

You wish you were!

She treats those pit bulls like royalty.

Maybe you could give me a belly rub.

Ew.

You're disgusting.

Hey, man.

You do know that nice guys finish last, right?

And where do the dropouts finish?

Oh, that's right.

They end up working for daddy.

Hey!

Hey! I got my diploma!

- Oh, yeah? - No, Matthew!

I-- I actually really fucking hate-- - Yeah.

Why do you keep bringing up...

♪ If you wonder What I'm saying♪

♪ Don't you keep me waiting♪

♪ Like la, la, la♪

♪ Da, da, du, du, du♪

♪ Hey, here we go again♪

♪ Falling from the sky We got money in our hands, ha♪

♪ Hey, do that dirty dance♪

♪ We just live that life You ain't seen nothing yet♪

Oh my God, make it stop.

♪ Ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Happy birthday to Anita♪

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

♪ Ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Hey, ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Ey, ey Ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Hey, ain't seen nothing yet♪

♪ Ey, ey Ain't seen nothing yet♪

It would be a great birthday present.

Please, give it-- Give it to me.

Anita.

Truth or dare?

No, I don't trust you.

- If you're scared, just say truth. - Dare.

I dare you to hook up with Anita.

No.

What? It's hot.

I'm not objectifying this all for you.

Come on.

Just be a good girl.

Don't I get a say in this?

It's my dad's fucking summer house.

For real?

It's nothing we didn't do in parties at college.

Are you sure?

I've done worse.

Okay.

My turn.

Or what? If I don't kiss you too, you'll kick me out?

What the fuck? I was bluffing, I didn't force you to do anything, did I?

You know, one day you're gonna say that shit

to the wrong person and you're gonna get cancelled.

Fucking uncancellable, baby.

What was that?

I don't know, probably a bear.

- A huge one. - It was nothing.

- No worries. - You know, men kill more women than bears do.

You know...

he's probably waiting...

the perfect moment...

- to attack! - Ah!

Fuck!

James...

Maybe we should call the cops.

And say what? "There's a noise outside"?

Stop being a dick to me!

I'm the one that's gonna go check it out, so if you think about it,

I'm the fucking hero!

See you.

Do not fucking do that! There are timers,

and if you mess it up, I'll fucking kill you!

Put it back on.

Fuck!

- Do not do that. - Aw...

Did you get scared?

- I could've killed you. - Okay. Mm.

What is it?

James.

I don't know.

What?

- More drinking games? - This was just out there.

And you brought it inside?

- Absolutely. - No, why?

That's super creepy.

Just sitting out there.

What are you even gonna do with it?

I don't know, Anita, film shit?

Maybe your parents are swingers.

Yeah, that could be hot.

You want to watch the tape with me?

Does anything gross you out?

I mean, I can probably set it up.

No, I don't think we should play it.

I mean, yeah, I don't have to.

God, I didn't realize we couldn't have any fun.

You're such a dud, Anita.

Why don't you just go home and hide with your mommy?

I have a really bad feeling,

and I would rather not do this.

OK.

I was just joking.

You want to have fun?

Yeah, well, not all of us have summer houses

and parents we can joke about.

You

are being a bitch.

So why don't we all just calm down,

sit on the couch and hope that this tape

is of my parents having sex.

Smile.

You think because you have all this nice stuff

you can control us?

None of us actually like you,

James.

We only want to hang out with you because your parents are rich.

What did you say?

I said we only hang out with you because your parents are rich.

None of us like you.

So it makes you happy to have some creepy thing too?

It is all yours.

Asshole.

Leave.

I would like you to leave.

Now.

Now.

I'm not, I'm not joking.

I want you to fucking leave my fucking house!

Leave my fucking house!

- These are my friends! - Chill.

- My fucking friends! - Chill, man.

- We've been drinking-- - You're mom's gonna die pretty soon!

Don't you think she'll be bummed out if that shit fucking happened?

That's the best show.

Fuck you.

Well, fuck you.

Fuck you!

That was like super fucked up, man.

I was just trying to have a bit of fun.

Dude.

You're seriously on her side?

Matthew?

Boo.

You know that James was right.

My mum probably is gonna die.

You have no idea how hard I worked her for her surgery.

She's just still...

not getting better.

So I'm sorry if I can't...

come out here and party and act like everything's OK cause it's not fucking OK,

Matthew.

I'm glad you're here tonight.

You're a good person.

You're not selfish.

Hey.

I--

You're like the best person I know.

Should have just stayed home.

Hello?

Hello?

I have a fucking knife.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

This is getting way too easy.

I am sick of this fucking jumpscare bullshit.

Hey.

You deserve a lot worse

after what you said to Anita.

- What about her? - You really upset her.

This is why you're in here, to just piss me off?

No, actually, to wash my face.

You have your own bathroom.

I also wanted to finish our conversation.

So you're here to apologize?

Mhm.

I've been a bad girl.

So what do you want to do about it?

Hm?

Um.

Mhm.

- Nice. - I know.

Melissa!

Do not leave me here with blue balls.

Melissa.

Hello?

Hello?

Hey, wake up.

Anita.

Anita.

Melissa?

Anita won't wake up.

Melissa?

Melissa.

James!

James, the girls won't wake up!

James!

James!

Who the fuck are you?

James!

James!

There's someone in the house!

Guys?

Guys?

Guys!

Matthew.

Not you.

- What the fuck? - Oh my God.

- Oh, fuck. - Guys.

OK.

She sells seashells by the seashore.

Matthew?

What the fuck?

What the fuck's going on?

It's not gonna fucking work.

Ah! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

Oh, what time is it?

You did.

Mhm.

Hm.

Hey guys.

Excuse me?

Excuse me, I, I think there must be some kind of mix up.

Sir?

Sir!

You guys ready?

For what?

Alright, then five, four, three.

Two, one.

I'm your host.

Welcome back!

I have sure missed you.

I hope you've missed me too.

Uh, today we are back with new contestants.

Let's meet them, shall we?

Well, first up, we've got nerdy man Matt.

Oh, we've got Melissa the dog lover,

and then we've got James, and the giant bank account.

And last but not least, we've got Anita.

Muy bonita.

Let's give them a big round of applause, shall we?

How does he know us?

Now.

I know this is exciting because here you are

on the show.

What a dream.

Let me out of the fucking chains.

Now this first round is gonna be nice and easy.

We're just gonna play a warm-up round, OK?

Simple.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

And then you let us go, right?

Hey,

there's always a winner.

All right, you guys ready?

All right, here, here we go.

Yes!

It's so embarrassing.

I'm sorry.

God,

uh, you know what, folks, uh,

we're gonna be right back after a short,

uh, commercial break.

Uh,

not to worry.

Be back in a jiffy.

Sorry, I'll be right back.

God, I'm so forgetful.

Why is he calling us contestants?

Who the fuck was he talking to?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He just got me with a needle in the neck.

Think this could be a prank?

For real, think about it.

This is like a set up

for some sort of like elaborate prank, like a game show.

- There's cameras, so it's fucking-- - What kind of prank show

kidnaps the participants with poisoned needles?

I don't know, something on TV.

One of you's in on it, right?

Who?

Matty, is it you?

- This is you. This is so fucking epic. - It's not me, man.

- It is you. - I just said it's not fucking me!

All right, calm down.

OK, we've got to keep our cool,

think straight, and we can't start pointing fingers.

Is it you, Melissa, you fucking bitch?

- This is fucking good. - Shut the fuck up for a second.

You know you're the only one out of all of us who can afford this.

OK, papers, scissors, shoot,

rock, paper, scissor, shoot.

OK.

And...

Sorry about that, folks,

had a slight technical difficulty,

but now it is time

for the first round.

Come on, come on.

Everybody hands in.

It is time for rock,

paper, scissors, shoot.

You know the rules, but here,

we all go at the same time.

No, it's more fun that way. It really is.

OK.

All right, here we go.

Uh, when I say ready and...

Ready.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

OK, good, good.

Your paper and your rock and well, you both are,

um, well, you're both scissors, so, um,

you know what, ladies first.

You know I want to play.

Gotta be kind.

Got to be polite.

That's,

you know, that's how we do it.

OK, so now.

Anita, if you can beat me

at rock, paper, scissors, shoot,

then you get to pick your prize.

Ready and...

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

OK, uh.

I picked shoot.

So that means you win

because I cheated and when you cheat,

you lose,

so you get to pick your prize,

scissors or shoot.

Scissors or shoot?

Scissors or shoot?

- Shoot. - Good.

I like shoot, shoot's good, that's good.

That's, you know, I would've picked shoot.

OK, good.

Uh, shoot. So now everybody hands back in,

back in, always in, always in, or else.

OK, good, good, good, good.

Paper.

Now you just need to come in a little bit more,

a little bit more.

You're paper, right, so you are first.

Hold on.

This is fun.

OK, now, go like this.

- Just a little. - Are you serious?

Yeah, just a little piece of paper.

- Nice and wide. - I don't want to.

Just a little piece of paper like this, ah.

Ah.

Ah! Ah, little thing.

Fuck!

What the fuck?

You're, you're a rock.

Dude, what the fuck was that?

Matthew! Matthew!

- No, dude, come on. - Scissors, scissors.

OK, that feels like real metal.

It is.

Hey, hey! Don't move, don't move.

- Don't move, come right over. - No, no!

- Stop! - No, no!

Everyone's a winner!

Everyone's a winner!

Please, please!

Everybody's a winner.

Everybody's a winner.

- Please! - Rock...

- No, no! - Paper...

Scissors...

- Shoot! - Please, please!

I, uh, picked the wrong gun.

Aren't you lucky?

Ah!

Let's give them a round of applause, shall we?

How long was I out?

A few hours?

It's hard to tell time in here.

James, can you please stop fucking pacing?

Why the fuck are we in here?

I don't know.

But we need some sort of plan to get out.

Any ideas?

I know my plan.

No losing games.

Yeah, but someone always loses.

You got off pretty easy last round.

What? Getting a concussion?

A concussion?

I lost a fucking finger!

Let's lay off.

Well, you got something you want to say?

Well, I couldn't find you last night.

Isn't that suspicious?

Well, you're walking around with all of us passed out,

shady as fuck to me.

Guys, just stop arguing.

I fucking suspect you too. I suspect you.

This has got nothing to do with me!

I trust

none of you!

Guys.

What the fuck is that?

It...

is...

Wheel of Pain!

Please, you don't have to do this.

Just go.

Oh, I get it.

You know what, uh, yeah, totally get it.

Sometimes somebody does something that's unfair,

right, and selfish and--

Well, because of that, some other person

does something like bad

and then someone else gets hurt like real bad

and like just a lot and that's just,

well, it's a cycle, right?

It just happens over and over

and over, that makes sense, right?

I mean, that makes sense, right?

You sad?

Mm?

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here either.

I really don't.

But here sure we are.

OK, I'll tell you what.

I am...

I'm going to give three of you a chance.

It's a bonus round.

To get out, right?

No pain,

no catch.

All you have to do is confess.

Well, the other three

can just walk right out that door.

It's a chance that I never got,

but you got it there.

The worst thing

you

ever did

or die.

Starting with James.

Worst thing he ever did.

No fucking way, man, I don't wanna play.

The worst thing you ever did.

Or I'll crush your testicles.

Alright, I, I, I was in a car crash.

I was in a fucking car crash, but my dad took the blame,

so it wasn't even like a DUI.

My name wasn't even fucking on it,

so it's like it never fucking happened, right?

That's no fucking big fucking deal, OK?

That's no big deal,

is it?

- There's more! - She died.

I fucking ran a red light and T-boned her and she fucking died.

I left her.

Say her name.

- Say her name! - You fucking asshole!

You fucking asshole!

- I don't know her name! - It is your fucking fault!

- I don't know her name! - You're fucking useless!

- You know! - Ashley!

- Ashley, her name was Ashley. - Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

Anita.

Worst thing you ever did?

Worst thing you ever did?

Say it.

Come on.

Anita.

It's OK, OK? It's OK.

It's you.

Mm.

To pay for my mom's surgery...

I, um...

I...

Um...

I, I made an adult web page.

Mhm.

Go on, go on, go on.

And I'm sorry that I did it.

But, but I wish I'd never done it.

You shouldn't, don't be sorry.

Don't be sorry. You know why?

Good guy.

Your turn.

Go.

Go on.

What?

I scam people online.

Yeah.

I watched what all you guys did online.

I can't hear you.

I got greedy, OK? I got greedy.

Tricked an old couple into giving me their identity.

That...

I didn't even get the money.

It was an accident, OK?

Just went into a block chain.

Now you...

I bet you did something real bad.

Didn't you?

Huh?

- Go ahead. - I don't want to.

Please?

For me?

Huh?

Tell us.

We all want to hear, right?

Come on.

Tell us.

OK, I, I did

business with

bad people to raise enough money to

keep the pit bull rescue shelter open.

Fuck!

OK, there's more to it.

We got a call

about a guy

who had a violent pit bull with cuts all over it,

and when we went to check it out,

he had his dogs

for fighting, for dog fighting.

We needed the money, so when we had dogs we couldn't get homes for,

we sold them to him.

What the fuck, Melissa?

They would have been put down anyway.

There were so many, he paid a lot for them.

Was there a winner?

Ding, ding, ding!

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

You should see the look on your face.

Boink.

That was so fun.

OK.

But uh...

Yeah, one of you, uh,

didn't tell the whole truth.

Who, who was it?

Would you let them go anyway?

Not now.

Because now...

It's...

Time...

For...

Wheel of Pain!

Woo!

So.

Eeny, Meeny,

Miney, Moe.

Melissa! Come on down.

Let's play Wheel of Pain.

I'll release the chain and...

That's it. Pull on the chain.

Come on.

Come on, isn't this exciting?

Now this

is the famous Wheel of Pain.

All you have to do...

Is spin it as hard as you can.

Wherever it lands, that's the game you get to play.

I just spin it?

Yes, you just spin it.

That's right.

Wheel of Pain! Wherever it lands,

that's the game you get to play.

Whoo, that's great. Good.

What does it mean?

Please step right up here for the studio audience.

Oh please, right here.

Melissa?

Look through the viewfinder and hold it. There we go.

Hold it up so that you can see the photos in there.

Now all you have to do is correctly identify

the three famous cities in the photographs and you win.

If you can't,

well, uh, all right, please,

name the first city.

It's a photo of Paris.

Is it Paris?

Ding, very good.

Now, go ahead and click the lever

to advance to the next photo.

- Uh, New York. - Is it New York?

Great!

And next.

Uh, this is a famous city.

- I don't know. - It's famous to someone.

Three, two...

Uh, Philadelphia.

Is it Philadelphia?

Aw!

Oh, I'm sorry, Melissa.

The correct answer was Akron,

Akron, Ohio.

Uh, game over.

You're not gonna like this.

That's not fair!

You have to give her another chance!

Another chance, man.

Please.

Please, just one more shot.

Please.

One last chance.

And...

click

the lever.

Ah!

Ah! Woo!

Oh, who else wants to play?

Let me help her, man, please.

Let's try and win you a prize.

You want to spin it?

No!

You're a fucking psycho!

James!

I'll spin it for you.

You know what, actually, I really enjoy spinning it.

My favorite part.

Perfect!

My favorite.

Help me, please!

Don't be rude, you had your turn!

All right, here's the game.

It's the whole game, right? I gotta unchain you.

I force you to run back and forth across the room,

you run too fast, like throw you,

and um, you know, it's a whole process.

Yeah, I know, fucking unchain me, man.

Let's play.

That sounds fucking awesome.

Here's the thing.

I don't like you because you talk too much,

so, um, let, let's flip for it.

OK. See if you win or if I win, OK?

You up for it?

Fuck, whatever,

flip your fucking coin.

OK, good, good.

Got a coin?

Alright, fine, fine.

We'll use my coin.

Just tired of losing quarters,

you know, every time I play this game,

I lose a coin.

So all right.

Call it.

That's...

Fuck yeah, fuck you.

Was really looking forward to killing you with this drill.

All right.

Take that.

- Take it, take it! - No, no.

- Right there. Alright, what I want you to do... - No, no.

Just take it!

Squeeze right there.

That thing goes bzz to that guy, OK?

Now you put it into his ear and you push it through the other side,

- and go, go, go. - No, I'm not gonna do it!

Then I will fucking drill him myself and then I'll drill Melissa

and then I'll fucking drill James and I'll fucking bury you in the goddamn cross.

- Just drill his ear. - I'd never do this to you. I'd never hurt you.

I will give you some urgency.

I'll undo your chain.

There you go.

Now, all right,

I'm gonna give you some urgencies,

all right, and 20.

- 19, 18... - I can't.

- I can't, I can't do it. - 17, 16.

I can't!

No, I can't!

- I'd never hurt you. - Ten, nine...

Now! Oh my God, seven.

- Six, five... - Are you seriously gonna do this?

Four, three...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Please, please!

That's my only drill!

I bailed all on this!

Where am I gonna get another drill?

You broke the rules!

I'm sorry.

OK.

OK.

OK. All right.

You know what we'll do.

For the elimination round.

OK.

OK.

I wonder what time it is.

Why does that matter?

I'm hungry.

I can eat some candy.

I could kill pizza.

I just miss food.

You miss food.

- I like it. - You're fucking insane.

No, I like to eat.

My dad's taking me out for dinner on Tuesday.

Nice.

I've not seen him for like a month.

That'll be really nice.

OK, we're back.

Come on, get up, get up.

Anita, come on, we're back in like three.

Come on!

OK, yeah, that's good.

James, come on.

Here we go, there we go.

And three, two...

Welcome back, folks.

Uh, what a game so far, huh?

You know what, let's give our contestants

a big round of applause, shall we?

You know what, give yourselves a round of applause.

That's it, James. That's it.

Applaud, applaud.

Applaud, applaud, applaud.

Nice.

You know what? This next round is gonna be just

a little bit different and I am so excited.

One question.

Everyone answer,

high score wins.

Now we asked 100 people

to name a body part that aches.

If you can guess the body part that they said

aches the most,

you win.

Matthew, body part that aches.

I can tell from recent experience, head.

What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Uh, next up is our favorite pirate, Melissa.

All that pain in your feisty life,

should be easy for you to name a body part that aches.

My knees.

I know mine ache from standing here

listening to your bullshit games.

You need a body part. Anita, your answer, please.

Give me a second. I'm-- I'm flanking.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Time's almost up. Answer.

Stomach, stomach.

- Good answer. - OK.

Finally.

Let's see,

who should be next?

I don't know, I can't quite put my...

finger on it.

I know my muscles are gonna ache when I beat the shit out of you.

Oh.

Yeah, you know what I would have said?

I would have said neck.

You know why?

Cause you all were a fucking pain in my neck!

All right, let's find out who lost, shall we?

Uh,

31 people said,

hey, congratulations, man.

22 said muscles.

Didn't lose.

Oh, and ding ding.

None said

neck.

Neck.

I'm safe.

And ooh,

just under the wire.

Melissa.

Congratulations. Three said feet.

But

it would appear as though I am out of cards,

which means no one

said stomach,

I am so

not sorry, Anita.

You lose.

Wait, that didn't equal 100.

So this is kind of embarrassing.

Oh yeah, oh,

I got 23, uh, said stomach.

So

Melissa,

this just isn't working out well for you today.

Did I ever tell you guys

that this room has a hydraulic press?

Neat,

check it out.

Now.

OK, it is uh...

They just like let anybody who lives here now use it.

Thing's like really slow.

No.

No!

No!

Nothing can stop it.

Please, you don't have to do this!

Yes, I do. OK? It's the game.

It's how you play the game.

You could have killed us already and you haven't.

Everyone is going to denounce you!

Please!

Oh my God.

Thank you, God.

Damn it.

All right, all right.

Looks like we've got a bonus round.

I will let you

go.

Yeah,

someone swaps.

Now they will die.

But uh,

you'll get out alive.

You get to leave.

OK?

Let's see.

Matthew?

Well, um...

Will you take Melissa's place?

Please.

I'm sorry.

Anita, look at me.

What about you? Come on,

you're the one that asked to spare her.

You screamed it. I heard you, you were...

I love you, Melissa. I love you so much.

I'm sorry.

James, switch with your special friend.

Look, you're gonna die in here.

Die now, save her.

I'm sorry, Melissa.

Looks like your good friends have only so much good in them.

Um, any final words for the folks at home?

Please no, please!

OK.

No!

You said...

That everyone's got good in them.

Remember that? You said that.

Yeah,

everyone's got

bad in them too.

Hm.

Everyone's got

bad in them too.

Mhm.

All right, let's do another one.

Fuck!

James.

James.

James.

It's not gonna fucking work, OK?

We're all gonna die in here.

Oh fuck, I gotta fucking try something.

I'm not fucking ending up like that.

Fuck!

What was that sound?

You fucking hear that?

I don't know.

Here's another one of your fucking games?

It's gonna be okay.

Please, please, please!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Showtime.

No, no! No!

Please!

Why the fuck do I feel like I know that guy?

Huh?

You know,

don't you?

You knew I was lying the whole time because you stalked my internet,

and you know I don't have a porn page.

What's she talking about?

She used to work on the Barry Miller show,

right before...

Fuck you.

You.

You've, you've killed Melissa.

You fucking doomed us all.

I fucking

knew!

You were in on this.

She's not in on anything.

Then what the fuck happened?

What happened?

Why am I gonna die because of you?

Uh-huh!

I'm your host, Barry Miller.

Thank you for joining us tonight on Wheel of Games,

where there's always a winner.

Next up, the Nightly News.

Breaking news.

Talk show host Colin Piper has been acquitted of all

sexual assault charges. After only one day in court,

the alleged victims have withdrawn their testimonies.

Can you fucking believe this?

That monster just gets to go free.

I guess they paid everyone off.

That happens all the time.

Do you think maybe it's possible

that he didn't actually do anything?

Like maybe it went to court and then they figured out

that he didn't do it.

I know one of the girls that came forward.

Guess what?

She's driving a luxury SUV.

No joke, I swear to God.

You know that screams money cover up.

Now these companies love to get rid of old creeps

to save the channel from looking bad.

So I heard Barry's a predator.

What?

Whoever reports him,

six-figure payday easy.

You know, I bet you could afford that surgery for your mom.

I don't think it works like that.

Hey, guys.

Stop it.

Stop it. All right, come on.

You know, he grabbed me once,

and since I don't play along with that shit,

I didn't get promoted. Shocker.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, Rebecca.

It must have been awful.

She's lying.

Am I?

Hey, guys, uh...

Great show so far, huh?

Yeah, definitely.

I wanted to thank you guys for doing such a wonderful job

on the show and to let you know that you know we really

appreciate our amazing crew because the show would fall apart without you guys.

Oh, also, and probably most importantly,

a little birdie told me something about you.

One, two, three, four.

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

♪ Happy birthday, Anita♪

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

Thank you so much, thank you.

I honestly didn't have any idea

you even knew who I was.

Oh, we all know who you are because you're doing a great job.

Happy birthday.

Hey, please stop touching her.

- She doesn't want that. - I'm--

Stop touching women,

- OK? Stop. - I...

Look, I, um,

no, I mean, I,

I was just saying thank you.

I'm sorry, you know, for that,

um.

Happy birthday.

Uh, I gotta get back

and start prepping for the afternoon show.

We'll see you guys out there.

And remember,

everyone's a winner.

All right, see you guys.

See you guys out there, you as well.

All right, cool.

Anita, are you OK?

What did you just do?

That was scary.

It's not fair.

We don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody.

Just be brave.

All you have to do is tell the truth and you'll be fine.

He touched you,

and that is not OK.

Anita Williams.

If you're ready.

Thank you so much for being here.

I have a daughter your age.

And I think it's very

brave what you're doing.

Thank you.

I just need you to sign this affidavit and NDA to

compensate you for your trouble.

It also gives you the freedom to

look for employment and opportunities somewhere else.

So I just sign?

And then it's over?

Look, like I told everyone else.

It's safe.

What happens to Barry?

Sign it.

Sorry.

Sorry,

thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, sir.

Sir.

We know what happened.

So look.

I get it.

You want to punish Anita for what she did.

I'll help you out.

Look,

you're the victim here

and people will be able to see that.

We're on your side, right, Matthew?

- Just stop. - Just shut the fuck up!

Come on, come on. Look, sir,

she's a fucking liar.

She fucked you over

and she made you do this.

You had no other choice.

Yeah, you think so,

huh?

Yes, absolutely.

My dad

would love to help you out.

He'd be all for it.

He really would?

Yes,

sir,

if you let me out of these chains,

I guarantee

that we'll make things right for you.

He plays golf with the fucking senator like dude.

Dude, I got you.

Yeah.

You really really mean it?

Huh?

People fix shit like this

all the time.

You can really, really, really,

get my whole life back?

Like a fucking fast.

Like that.

So you can, uh, you can get my whole life back,

huh, like my show,

my wife, my kids,

my fans, you can...

My whole life?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

- OK. - OK?

Let me ask you this, um,

do you think he would mind though, you know,

when I show up, cause I gotta talk to him about it, right?

OK, so,

if I show up there,

you think he'll be upset if I

show him your head, you know, or half your head?

- Fuck. - Maybe just your jaw.

Fuck!

You fucking psycho!

Your words.

Eat your fucking words!

Open your eyes.

- Look, look, look. - No!

Look! That's it, that's it.

- Who is it? - A lawyer, it's a fucking lawyer.

Ding, ding! Eat his fucking mouth!

Chew his tongue!

Chew his tongue!

Chew his mouth!

Eat your fucking words!

Chew his fucking tongue!

Right now eat your words!

Don't make me stab you in the throat!

You're gonna fucking kill Matthew the way you killed Melissa.

Bite his tongue!

Bite his fucking tongue!

Bite his mouth!

Bite his mouth! That's it, bite it!

Bite it! Chew! Chew!

Chew through his fucking tongue!

Bite it! Bite it!

Is it fucking worth it?

Choke on it!

Chew it! Chew it!

Chew it! Eat it! Eat it!

Chew it! Fucking chew it!

Get his mouth!

What the fuck are you looking at?

I think you're a little bitch that needs to play dress-up.

James! Fucking kill him!

What the fuck are you gonna do now, huh?

- James! Kill him! - I just-- wanna say sorry.

When we get back from break.

It's time for a nomination.

And...

We're back.

Wakey wakey.

Wakey wakey!

Me too.

OK.

Here is the game.

Uh, it's called Incision Decision.

I gotta tell you this,

this might be my favorite game.

I don't wanna play your fucked-up games.

Uh, it's not your turn to play my fucked-up games,

James.

Ye-- Yes.

Anita's turn.

There are two keys

that open that door.

Now, anybody that wants to get out,

well, you have to be able to open that door,

so you have to get a key.

Where do we find the key?

There is one in James and one in Matthew.

I'll let you choose.

You can't make me do it!

I'm not gonna do it!

OK, well, then,

I guess I'll just show you.

And they'll both die of starvation in like a week.

This is the game.

You're not gonna kill either of us, OK?

It's gonna be fine, we can figure something out where we both live, OK?

You got a weapon now, OK?

Fuck, I know what's gonna fucking happen,

she's gonna fucking kill me because she fucking hates me.

Anita,

don't kill me.

If you don't kill me,

I'll make sure my dad gives you and your mom

all the money you need.

Seriously, anything and everything,

- everything, stuff. - There's another way.

Fuck this! You guys are literally fucking friends because of me,

and now you've got a fucking scheme to fucking kill me.

This is so fucking unfair.

I literally did everything for you guys.

You little shit!

You always were an asshole to us,

holding everything over our heads.

I don't want to die, man!

Fuck, you guys are like you're my only fucking friends.

You think I didn't see?

You guys were always making fucking fun of me

behind my fucking back.

I'm not fucking stupid,

God.

But you are my only fucking friend, Matthew,

my only fucking friend.

So what do we do now?

You're not gonna kill either of us, right?

No, it's smart, smart.

Look, Matthew, I love you. I love you.

I do, but you're making the right choice.

You have to understand, Matthew, listen to my voice.

Look, we are in here for more, right?

She's got to see her mom.

And you'd help with that.

I'm not gonna make it hard for you, OK?

Go on, Anita, Anita, go on.

Matthew.

You got it, you got it.

It's OK.

Can you not look at me, please?

No, fuck no.

I'm looking right at you,

right fucking at you,

please, please.

No.

No, no, no, no!

Anita, stop!

Help, help, help!

What the fuck?

I'm gonna die, oh my God!

I'm gonna die, I'm gonna fucking die!

Do not do this.

I fucking have to!

It's OK, dude.

Do it.

I fucking have it! Fuck yeah!

I fucking have it!

What the fuck.

What the fuck!

What the fuck!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Oops, that's the wrong key.

Those doors are magnetically sealed.

Let's continue with the fun, shall we?

OK.

Last man standing wins.

Go.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You wanted to protect your mom.

I'm so sorry.

I might have done the same thing.

It's all my fault.

What's wrong?

Are you gonna kill me?

We both can't leave.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

There's always a winner.

This whole thing

is part of a sick,

fucked-up game show and it's not gonna stop.

It's not gonna stop.

Clock is ticking. This takes more than two minutes,

I'll just pick.

There's something else I've always wanted to say.

I love you.

Please don't do this.

Don't do this.

Don't fucking do this,

don't fucking do this!

- I really... - No!

- I really... - No!

I really do love you.

It's OK.

It's OK.

Just promise me one thing.

Win.

No! No!

Matthew!

Congratulations,

Anita.

You are our winner.

Come on in, darling, take a seat.

No change.

There's no catch, just

you and me,

one more game,

one last game,

hm?

That said, come on.

Welcome back,

Anita.

You know how it goes, folks.

It is time for...

Pick your Prize.

Ah!

Anita, all you have to do is pick the right box and

you can be free.

There's no winning prize.

Oh, there's always a winner.

You're just gonna kill me.

My pictures are in the cabinet.

Do it. One more fun game with me, then home,

you can go home with mommy.

Is this really all you are, Barry?

Barry's dead.

You killed him.

I'm your host.

You just don't seem to get it, do you?

What?

I am the only person in the world who could bring Barry back.

I could tell everyone I lied.

I can turn your life back to normal.

Unless you did do something.

Boo!

Pull a string, alright?

Fucking pull a string, you fucking do it, you do it now!

I'm sorry.

There is no sorry. No, no.

You didn't just go along.

You knew what you were doing.

You lied.

You know you lied.

You wanted to save your mom's life,

so you took mine.

You took my life,

you took my family,

you...

You fucking took everything.

Did you ever even care what happened to me?

Did you ever even lose any sleep over it?

Of course I did.

Barry, I'm not a fucking monster.

People loving me.

Tell her.

Tell her you love me.

Tell her you love me!

She killed me.

You saved her life, Barry.

I, I traded your life for hers.

I saved your mom's life.

Barry saved her life.

Sure he did.

I don't know if I ever saved a life before.

We can talk about it, don't we?

I, uh...

Guess I only thought about what I lost.

I wanted to be the good guy.

I give away money.

To help people like your mom.

I wanted to be

a good dad.

Good husband.

Grandpa.

I wanted...

But you know, I never realized that maybe here...

my own shameful life...

Maybe it's not too late for me to do the right thing.

You know what, if you pull

a string for me and my little game,

I promise,

I actually promise.

I won't kill your mom.

Or even hurt her.

I won't even pop by and say hi.

So I don't know, you might want to think about that,

maybe take me up on this, and, but--

There's the strings.

You promise?

I do.

Ha...

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

♪ Happy birthday to Anita♪

♪ Happy birthday to you♪

Ah!

I need to thank you.

You saved me the trouble to have to add a scar after I kill you.

Right here next to Melissa and James and Matthew.

Anita.

It's my favorite one.

This is the most fucking honest thing you've done.

People like you,

you just lie and you...

You cheat

and you hurt people.

And there's no consequences.

The world needs me.

Do you know why?

Because I know how to play the game.

I know the rules.

They need me because I'm their host.

Can you forgive me?

You don't deserve forgiveness.

I don't need your forgiveness!

I need justice.

Oh, we're missing your birthday party.

Let me just put this on my desk.

Come on.

OK.

No!

No! No!

It's a pretty machine

to slam the birthday girl's face

into the cake.

There's gonna be a fucking knife in it.

You're gonna stab me in the fucking face!

- How do you know? - Cause I'm not fucking stupid.

Well, if you were smart,

you wouldn't have destroyed my life.

So...

- Happy birthday. - No, no, no!

- No! No! - Yes! Yes!

No, no!

Please, please.

Come on.

Please...

Please, don't do this to me.

Into the cake.

Happy birthday!

I got you.

There's no, there's no tricks.

There's no tricks,

there's nothing?

So I won?

- I won? - Congratulations.

Now, there is

some good news and some bad news.

The good news is...

You're free.

So I get to go home.

Come on.

There you go.

Just clean up right here, right there.

There you go, that's it, clean up.

But the bad news is...

The cake tastes terrible.

Oh.

Huh.

Oh...

I can't see.

I can't fucking see!

I can't, I can't see, I can't--

I... My...

Help me. What the fuck?

What the fuck have you done?

What the fuck have you done?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

I was acquitted in a court of law.

I was, I, I am innocent.

I am an innocent man.

Ah, OK, I did it. I did it.

I, I did it. I fucking did it.

Please, where's... I did it.

we paid off all those women

who I,

who I assaulted.

- Assaulted? - Raped, raped,

raped, OK? I did it. I did it.

Please, please, please let me go.

Let me go. I'll pay you.

I'll pay you anything you want.

I'll pay you $250,000.

Please, I beg you, please.

They don't need your money.

They need justice.

This is what you're winning.

Oh no, no.