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1
00:00:02,671 --> 00:00:04,380
Wow, Hyde, I can't believe it.
2
00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:05,715
Your own set of wheels.
3
00:00:05,757 --> 00:00:07,797
Yup. She is the best thing
that ever happened to me.
4
00:00:08,844 --> 00:00:10,010
Oh, except for that one time
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,252
Kelso swallowed that fishhook.
6
00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,724
That was pretty cool, too.
7
00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:17,185
Yeah, that was one magic
trick I could never get right.
8
00:00:19,688 --> 00:00:21,857
All right, Hyde.
This car is fine,
9
00:00:21,898 --> 00:00:25,193
but, I mean,
it's no Vista Cruiser.
10
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,362
How many miles are you
getting to the gallon?
11
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:28,530
Uh, about 11.
12
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,281
Damn. Okay, fine,
13
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:33,493
but, you know, the Vista
Cruiser can seat eight...
14
00:00:33,535 --> 00:00:35,203
Nine if someone sits
on the stain.
15
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:38,665
Yeah, okay, Forman,
but do you have any idea
16
00:00:38,707 --> 00:00:40,307
how many chicks
I can fit in the flatbed?
17
00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,378
Thirty-two, and that's
with big Rhonda.
18
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,088
Damn!
19
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,384
Eww!
20
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,306
Oh, hello.
21
00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:58,476
What are you doing
back there, Fez?
22
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,020
I...
I was...
23
00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:02,022
I was just showing Caroline
24
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,690
the back of my new car
and my tongue.
25
00:01:06,568 --> 00:01:08,194
Fez, this isn't your car.
26
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,572
Foreigners can't drive
here unless it's a cab.
27
00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:15,451
Shut up.
28
00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:17,704
Isn't he cute?
29
00:01:17,746 --> 00:01:19,080
Fezzy, I told you,
30
00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,766
you don't have to try
and impress me anymore.
31
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,876
I'm your girlfriend now.
32
00:01:22,918 --> 00:01:24,293
Oh, I'm sorry, Caroline.
33
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,921
From now on, I will be
totally honest.
34
00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:27,714
Good. Now, come on.
Walk me home.
35
00:01:27,756 --> 00:01:29,424
Ah, yes, and on the
way, I could tell you
36
00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:31,426
about the time I killed
a shark with a coconut.
37
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,283
All right, Kelso,
let's go out cruising
38
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,060
for hot chicks with
self-esteem problems.
39
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,772
Yeah. No, thanks, man.
40
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:44,999
I don't do that stuff anymore.
41
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:46,691
Shut up and come on.
42
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:48,068
No, man, I mean it.
43
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,444
I've matured.
44
00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:52,989
Hey, Donna,
wanna go to the mall?
45
00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:54,132
Rerun from What's Happening!!
46
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,476
Is opening up
the new Dairy Queen.
47
00:01:58,578 --> 00:02:01,122
Actually, Jackie, as fun
as that sounds, um... no.
48
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:04,960
What?
49
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:06,377
Hey, hey, hey!
50
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,922
I'm in!
51
00:02:08,964 --> 00:02:10,190
Okay, well, let me get my beret
52
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,716
and some Certs with Retsyn.
53
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,720
Cool.
54
00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:18,156
Wait a second, man. You're
too mature to go cruising with me,
55
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,682
but you'll go to the mall
with Jackie?
56
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,685
It's this new thing we're
trying, man. We're friends.
57
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:25,187
See, I did some
reflecting, and I realized
58
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,069
that Jackie is the only
girl I want to be with.
59
00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:29,525
Today?
60
00:02:31,611 --> 00:02:33,863
No. Every day.
61
00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,740
See, we were
meant to be together.
62
00:02:35,782 --> 00:02:36,942
She just doesn't know it yet.
63
00:02:38,076 --> 00:02:39,535
Yeah, but I have a plan.
64
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:41,663
Oh, no.
65
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,999
Oh, yeah.
66
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,960
See, she wants to be
just friends, right?
67
00:02:47,002 --> 00:02:48,586
Okay, so I'll be her friend,
68
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:49,754
but what she doesn't realize
69
00:02:49,796 --> 00:02:51,547
is that I'm also a boy.
70
00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:55,259
Yeah, and sooner or later,
71
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:58,721
"friend" is gonna lead
down the path to "boy,"
72
00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:00,348
and then I'll be
her "friend-boy."
73
00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:05,394
That is a great plan.
74
00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:07,480
Okay, I'm ready.
Hey.
75
00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:08,648
Let's go, friend.
76
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:09,816
Okay.
77
00:03:12,861 --> 00:03:14,570
That is such a bad plan.
78
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,824
Yeah, but, you know,
on the bright side,
79
00:03:17,866 --> 00:03:21,119
maybe we'll be there when
it all blows up in his face.
80
00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,000
♪ Hangin' out
81
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,171
♪ Down the street
82
00:03:32,881 --> 00:03:34,757
♪ The same old thing
83
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,886
♪ We did last week
84
00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:42,807
♪ Not a thing to do
85
00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:46,561
♪ But talk to you
86
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,522
♪ We're all all right
87
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,733
♪ We're all all right ♪
88
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,526
Hello, Wisconsin!
89
00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:04,704
Hey, Mrs. Forman.
90
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,247
Happy birthday.
91
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,498
Oh!
92
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,461
I can't believe you remembered.
93
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:15,256
You are the first person
to say anything all day.
94
00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:21,012
And how did you know
95
00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:22,263
I needed more flashbulbs?
96
00:04:24,599 --> 00:04:25,892
Thank you.
97
00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:29,604
So, do you want
to stay for dinner?
98
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:31,289
Oh, no, thanks. I'm just
gonna grab a sandwich.
99
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,899
A sandwich?
100
00:04:32,941 --> 00:04:35,401
Steven, a sandwich is a
sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
101
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,030
Oh, well,
thanks, Mrs. Forman.
102
00:04:39,072 --> 00:04:40,281
Uh-huh.
103
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:44,285
Hey, Mom. What's
for dinner? I'm starving.
104
00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:46,287
Manwiches.
105
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:48,456
Again?
106
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,291
Aah! We just had those.
107
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,211
Kitty, I left my shirt
on the bed.
108
00:04:53,253 --> 00:04:54,921
It needs to be ironed
for tomorrow.
109
00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:56,798
Okay.
Oh, and, uh...
110
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,884
I know you think I forgot,
111
00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:01,302
but I didn't.
112
00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:04,764
Oh, Red, I knew you'd remember.
113
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:06,182
Yup.
114
00:05:06,224 --> 00:05:07,976
The check for the plumber
is on the dresser.
115
00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:14,315
Oh. Good.
116
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:19,444
Um...
117
00:05:21,072 --> 00:05:22,657
Is there anything else to eat?
118
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,870
Well, you know what, honey?
119
00:05:29,789 --> 00:05:32,959
I don't give a good
gosh darn what you eat!
120
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:44,095
Wow. She's really upset.
121
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,347
Yeah. Nice going.
122
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,645
See, the boatneck adds
dimension to your shoulders,
123
00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:55,190
and the plum color,
124
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:56,871
that really accents
your jewel-toned eyes.
125
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:00,820
Oh, my God.
126
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:03,572
Michael, you just
described my perfect outfit.
127
00:06:03,614 --> 00:06:05,574
You are so good at this.
128
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,367
Yeah, I have a knack
for ensembles.
129
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,208
Hey, Hyde.
130
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,501
How goes
the cruisin' for chicks?
131
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:16,854
It was going fine
until I hit a patch of ice
132
00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:19,297
and almost took out
a few of 'em.
133
00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,049
Big Rhonda
cracked my brake light.
134
00:06:27,222 --> 00:06:28,306
Hi.
135
00:06:28,723 --> 00:06:29,891
Hey.
136
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:30,933
Have you seen Fez?
137
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,352
Uh...
138
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,478
No. He went bowling
with his host parents.
139
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,604
Damn him!
140
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,066
I'm sorry.
141
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:39,293
I was just hoping he'd be here
142
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:40,943
so we could study together.
143
00:06:40,985 --> 00:06:42,987
Now I have to walk home
alone in the dark.
144
00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:44,239
It's scary out there.
145
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,656
Somebody ran over big Rhonda.
146
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,162
Um, do you want a...
Okay!
147
00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,989
You know, Michael, I'm really
enjoying our time together.
148
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,795
Really? Me, too.
149
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,547
Yeah, you know,
the makeup, shopping,
150
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,216
braiding each other's hair...
151
00:07:03,258 --> 00:07:04,818
You are like
the girlfriend I never had.
152
00:07:06,928 --> 00:07:08,428
Well, thanks, Jackie.
153
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:11,140
Wait... girlfriend?
154
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:13,994
Yeah, I mean,
Donna's nice and everything,
155
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,644
but she kind of dresses
like a trucker.
156
00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:28,783
The Waltons...
157
00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:31,619
Now, there's a grateful family.
158
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,496
Hmm.
159
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,669
And, boy, did they
love their mother.
160
00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:45,466
Oh, great.
161
00:07:46,926 --> 00:07:48,469
I think I've got athlete's foot.
162
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,185
I am... I am...
I am going to bed.
163
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,568
Where'd your mother go?
164
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:07,488
To bed.
165
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,450
Hey, what's wrong
with her, anyway?
166
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,118
Oh, who knows?
167
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,411
She's been moody all day.
168
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,497
Let me see the TV Guide.
169
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,208
Let's see.
What day is it?
170
00:08:20,168 --> 00:08:21,919
Ahh!
171
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:24,630
It's the 13th.
You know, it seems to me
172
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,352
I was supposed to do
something on the 13th.
173
00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:30,011
Oh, good Lord!
174
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,848
You forgot
your mother's birthday!
175
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,438
Oh, no, Dad.
This is bad.
176
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,357
This is very, very bad.
177
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:43,483
All right.
178
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,234
Don't start getting all twitchy.
179
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,489
Now, we gotta think.
180
00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:54,702
Let's watch CHiPs and think.
181
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:03,961
So, Fez is really nice, huh?
182
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,797
Yeah. Fez is a good guy.
183
00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:07,965
Yeah.
184
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,136
You know, sometimes, when
I'm trying to sleep at night,
185
00:09:12,178 --> 00:09:15,390
I think about how much it
would hurt if he ever left me.
186
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:17,141
And then I say
Fez would never leave me.
187
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:19,244
But then I say we've only
been going out a short time.
188
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,270
Maybe he would leave me.
189
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:26,859
So then I hold my breath until
my lungs are about to explode,
190
00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,212
because that's how much
I think it would hurt
191
00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:29,570
if he ever did leave me.
192
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,538
And then, when
I regain consciousness...
193
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:43,792
I start breathing again,
and everything's fine.
194
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,711
Oops! There's my house.
Thanks. Bye.
195
00:09:49,215 --> 00:09:50,466
See ya.
196
00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,475
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
197
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,897
Oh, you remembered.
198
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,191
Well, of course
we remembered, honey.
199
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,403
We just figured that we'd wait
200
00:10:10,445 --> 00:10:12,285
until there was only
15 minutes left in the day
201
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,282
and you were good and mad
202
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,575
and then we'd sneak up here
203
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,076
and surprise
the hell out of you.
204
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,329
Wow. What a good plan,
205
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:22,582
'cause I was awfully mad.
206
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,252
Yeah. We really
had you going.
207
00:10:28,254 --> 00:10:30,047
Here, Mom.
Open this one first.
208
00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:31,466
It's from me.
209
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,384
Well, thank you, honey.
210
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,182
Oh.
211
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,850
A map of Wisconsin.
212
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,481
Oh, well, thank you.
213
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:49,191
And, Mom, I got you
these balloons, too.
214
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:56,115
"Knock out the knock
knocks at Schiffy's Gas-n-Go."
215
00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,868
Huh.
216
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,370
Wait, Kitty, there's more.
217
00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:18,262
A funnel.
218
00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,889
'Cause I know how much
you like to pour things.
219
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,728
Well, um...
220
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:30,065
Either these gifts
are really thoughtful,
221
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,692
or you bought a bunch
of crap at the gas station.
222
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,070
What?
223
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,447
Oh, admit it, Red Forman.
224
00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:37,697
You forgot my birthday.
225
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,020
Quick, Dad,
give her the lighter.
226
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,040
Look, Kitty, I'm sorry,
227
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,667
but... it's just...
228
00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:51,795
Well, marking the calendar
is your responsibility.
229
00:11:54,507 --> 00:11:55,757
Dad, no!
230
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:11,731
Ah, good morning, sunshine!
231
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,151
So, what's for breakfast?
232
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:15,528
A funnel.
233
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:18,863
Ow.
234
00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:24,995
I mean, what the heck makes
Jackie think I'm her girlfriend?
235
00:12:26,581 --> 00:12:29,250
All I did was pick out
a few of her outfits,
236
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,811
paint her nails,
and give her a facial.
237
00:12:32,712 --> 00:12:34,296
Gee, I don't know, Denise.
238
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:37,799
Um, guys, can we go inside?
239
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,093
I'm freezing my choo-choos off.
240
00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:42,179
No way.
241
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,599
I'm not going in there.
242
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,183
I forgot my mom's birthday.
243
00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:48,728
Really? 'Cause I remembered
your mom's birthday.
244
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,789
If you remembered,
why didn't you tell me?
245
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,232
How would that be funny?
246
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,404
I will never have to worry
247
00:12:58,446 --> 00:13:00,239
about forgetting
Caroline's birthday.
248
00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:02,041
She wrote it on my arm
with permanent marker.
249
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:06,579
Isn't she sweet?
250
00:13:06,621 --> 00:13:08,664
More like psycho.
251
00:13:08,706 --> 00:13:10,790
What are you doing
calling my girlfriend psycho?
252
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,127
Oh, I'm sorry, Fez.
Did I say psycho?
253
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,463
I meant nutbag,
headcase, whackadoo.
254
00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:18,173
She chokes herself, man!
255
00:13:20,635 --> 00:13:23,304
Well, Hyde, maybe...
Maybe you should...
256
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,846
Maybe you should choke yourself!
257
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:28,517
Good day.
258
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:29,644
Fez...
259
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:30,894
I said good day!
260
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,817
Man, what fun is it
being a girlfriend
261
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,859
if you don't even have
your own boobs to play with?
262
00:13:48,788 --> 00:13:51,290
So what, Kelso?
So you're her girlfriend.
263
00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:53,459
What could possibly
be so bad about that?
264
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,640
I'll... I'll tell you
what could be so bad.
265
00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,798
Oh, Michael.
266
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,591
This is the happiest
day of my life.
267
00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,854
Thank you so much for
being my maid of honor.
268
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,400
That's what girlfriends do.
269
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:19,860
I'm just honored you asked me.
270
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,158
Yeah, but...
271
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,451
You know, on the flip side,
272
00:14:27,493 --> 00:14:29,493
try to think about your life
without Jackie at all.
273
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,357
Wow.
274
00:14:58,399 --> 00:14:59,900
That's even worse.
275
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,488
Hey, girlfriends sometimes
make out together, right?
276
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,911
Yeah. Usually right after
long, sweaty pillow fights.
277
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:14,190
Yeah, man,
it happens all the time.
278
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,500
All right!
279
00:15:22,882 --> 00:15:24,675
Hey, Mrs. Forman.
280
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,845
Is Eric home?
281
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,722
Eric?
282
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,932
Oh, you mean
my son the map giver.
283
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,185
I don't know, and I don't care.
284
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,105
Mrs. Forman,
are you okay?
285
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,107
Oh, I am just freakin' fine!
286
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:45,780
What happened?
287
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,951
Well, you know I love my family.
288
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,712
It's just sometimes
I want to get in the car
289
00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,622
and run 'em all over.
290
00:15:56,624 --> 00:15:58,375
They forgot my birthday.
291
00:15:58,417 --> 00:16:00,127
I'm gonna go kick
Eric's ass right now!
292
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,962
No.
293
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,440
I mean, it's one thing
when they don't notice
294
00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:06,300
when I get my hair done
differently, which they don't...
295
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:08,051
But this is my birthday.
296
00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,847
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe I expect too much.
297
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:14,725
No, Mrs. Forman, you
have every right to be mad.
298
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,226
In fact, you should be madder.
299
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,978
You're, like, the best
mom in the world.
300
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:19,605
Yeah.
301
00:16:20,773 --> 00:16:22,983
Thank you, Donna.
302
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,486
I just wish my own family
would say that once in a while.
303
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,993
Oh, sweetie, that's
not your breakfast, is it?
304
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:35,162
Yeah.
305
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,371
Oh.
306
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,794
Why don't you just let me make
you some nice waffles instead?
307
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:43,796
Oh, cool.
I love frozen waffles.
308
00:16:43,838 --> 00:16:46,006
Oh, honey, no, no, no, no.
309
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,009
I make my waffles from scratch.
310
00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:53,096
Those bastards!
311
00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,060
God, would you look
at her boobs?
312
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:00,646
I am.
313
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,066
And it's... it's...
Disgusting.
314
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,652
I mean, what is she thinking,
315
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,254
packing in those
sweet melons like that?
316
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,699
I can't even look away.
317
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:15,953
You know, Michael, I have to say
318
00:17:15,995 --> 00:17:17,875
I'm really enjoying
our new friendship together.
319
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,540
I love spending time with you.
320
00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:21,709
Me, too. Hey, do you want
to go back to your house
321
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,060
and have a nice, sweaty
pillow fight?
322
00:17:23,084 --> 00:17:24,084
Okay!
323
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,180
Hello, Caroline.
324
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,807
Oh, hi, Fez.
325
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:39,643
So, hey, listen.
Just curious, um...
326
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,023
Do you sometimes choke yourself?
327
00:17:45,399 --> 00:17:46,859
Yeah, but I only do it
328
00:17:46,901 --> 00:17:49,653
because I love you more
than anything in the world.
329
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:53,741
Okay, I'm good with that.
330
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:55,910
I'll get you a soda, lover.
331
00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:57,578
Don't forget to breathe
while I'm gone.
332
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,833
Hey, so how's it going
with mental Mary?
333
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:07,337
I owe you an apology, Hyde.
334
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,714
She is crazy.
335
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:11,091
But she's crazy for me.
336
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:25,313
Ooh! Here she comes.
337
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,166
Oh, my God. She
didn't even look at us.
338
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,713
I don't think I've ever seen
Mom so mad. Have you?
339
00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:50,995
Not since she stopped drinking.
340
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,382
What?
341
00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:56,595
Nothing.
342
00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:59,056
Look, obviously your mother's
very upset about something...
343
00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:02,938
And desperate times
call for desperate measures.
344
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:05,729
For the last 10 years,
345
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:07,230
she's been asking us
to do something,
346
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,233
and every time, we say no,
347
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,278
because what she wants
348
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,155
is the most horrible thing
in the world.
349
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,076
I won't do it.
350
00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,371
Oh, you will do it.
351
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,166
And you will like it!
352
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,970
I can't believe
we're finally square-dancing.
353
00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:39,972
Oh, this is so much fun!
354
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,984
Looks like Hee Haw
puked in here.
355
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,154
Come on, honey.
Let's dance!
356
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,200
Oh, my God.
This is awful.
357
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,036
She made me waffles.
358
00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,411
Now promenade,
you son of a bitch!
359
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,668
♪ Bow to your partner,
corners, all
360
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:11,336
♪ Circle to the left
all around that hall
361
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,213
♪ Circle to the left
all around you go
362
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,840
♪ When you're there,
you'll meet
363
00:20:14,882 --> 00:20:16,800
♪ Do an allemande left
with your corner mate
364
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:18,385
♪ Do-si-do with
your partner there
365
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,261
♪ Then star by the left
in the middle
366
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,638
♪ Go all the way around
and then
367
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,893
♪ Star promenade,
go around that town
368
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,729
♪ Then when you're there
then you backtrack
369
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,189
♪ Go the other way around
370
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,941
♪ Meet a partner, turn a
partner by the right hand round
371
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:34,783
♪ Do an allemande left
walk right in through ♪
372
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,405
Whee hee!
373
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,118
So, Mom...
374
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,888
We found this present
we just had to get you.
375
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,455
So... Happy birthday.
376
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:51,668
Oh, I thought square-dance
night was my present.
377
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,963
It is, but we really
messed up this year,
378
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:57,216
and, well, we're sorry.
379
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,258
Oh!
380
00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:07,267
"World's darn-tootinest Mom."
381
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,064
Do you really think so?
382
00:21:12,106 --> 00:21:13,899
You're darn tootin'.
383
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:20,572
Okay, well...
384
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:24,118
I think I've had enough
do-si-dos for one night,
385
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:26,453
so what do you say
we all go home
386
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,871
and have hot fudge sundaes?
387
00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:29,790
Thank God!
Yes.
388
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:31,875
Bastards.
389
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:39,091
Valentine's Day.
Check.
390
00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:41,802
Anniversary.
391
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,053
Check.
392
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,930
Mother's Day.
393
00:21:44,972 --> 00:21:46,974
Check.
394
00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:49,143
Well, I think we got 'em all.
395
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,436
Uh, Dad, we forgot
her birthday again.
396
00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:54,355
Damn it, Eric!
Pay attention.
397
00:21:58,735 --> 00:21:59,736
Valentine's Day.
398
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:00,988
Check.
399
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,573
Anniversary.
400
00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:04,658
Check.
401
00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,202
Mother's Day.
Check.
402
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,226
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