All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S03E09.1080p.Bluray.x265-HiQVE_movieddl.me

All right, Hyde.

Your dad's apartment is
the perfect place for a party.

It's already trashed.

Even if half the people we invited
show up, this party's gonna rock.

- Did you find the cups?
- Nope.

Even better,
a plastic tube and a funnel.

All this and a dirty funnel?
Merry Christmas to me.

Yeah, we don't even have to
worry about germs,

because even though our spit
backs up in the tube,

the alcohol kills them.

- We're leaving.
- So leaving.

Wait, you're leaving?

Yeah, see, when I was a little
girl, I made a promise to myself.

"Self," I said,

"if you're ever about to suck beer out of
a funnel that might give you mono, don't."

So, bye-bye.

All right, Kelso, I'm gonna nix the funnel
on account of I think it repels women.

Hey, any woman who doesn't appreciate
a nice funnel isn't much of a woman.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

What's with the keg?

Throwing a little party. You
know, 'tis the season to get sloppy.

- Well...
- You're cool with this, right?

Sure, yeah. Cool dad,
that's me. Totally cool dad.

Hey, listen. Have a merry, uh,

keg party.

Mr. Hyde, you're the best.

Yeah, you're the best.

Will you be my daddy?

I'm not kidding.

Seriously.

- Hey, Fez, can you
grab this for me?
- Sure.

You know, Kelso,
four times is not funny.

Um, yes, it is.

- Guess who?
- Eric, it's your mum!

I'm not...

♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly

♪ Fa la la la la ♪

Oh, you're caroling.
That is so odd.

Well, happy holidays.

Look what I brought.
Mistletoe!

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

♪ Fa la la la la ♪

Now, Steven, I brought some beautiful
Christmas ornaments to hang on your

antenna.

Mrs. Forman, you're not
checking up on me, are you?

No, no. I'm just spreading
a little holiday cheer.

Dusty.

Oh, and this blanket, it needs
a nice Christmas washing.

No, no, no, no, no!
That's Bud's Christmas stool.

Very sentimental. If anybody
touches it, he just goes nuts, so...

Huh.

- Well, I don't quite
believe you, but okay.
- Okay.

So Bud left
you boys here unsupervised?

Oh.

Salami in the couch.

Now, that's sanitary.

Okay, okay, then...

Why don't you boys
hang up those angels?

And, Eric, come in here

and help me with the
traditional holiday floor wax.

Mum, seriously, we're okay.

Okay? You can go, really.

Oh, good. Fez is making ice.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all, all right

♪ We're all, all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Listen to this.

"Corner him under the mistletoe. Eight
ways to trick a guy into a relationship."

I love the holidays.

Yeah, hanging your stocking,
putting cookies out for Santa,

setting a mantrap.

Mmm, Christmas.

You know, Donna, this'll be the first year
I celebrate Christmas without a boyfriend.

And Jesus wept.

So here's my new plan
for the year.

Buy some really cute tops, fly to
Hollywood, and marry Lee Majors.

Make fun of that, I dare you.

Jackie, there are so many ways
to make fun of that

I don't even know
where to start.

It's like choosing
your favorite jellybean.

Donna, be nice to me.
I'm lonely.

I mean, okay, if there were mistletoe
over me right now who would kiss me?

No one, that's who.

Being alone isn't that bad.

It's a great opportunity
to get to know yourself

and be comfortable
with who you are.

Donna, I already love myself.
I just wanna French someone.

I miss my funnel.

- Eric, drink.
- Okay.

If I was Tattoo,
and I lived on Fantasy Island,

my fantasy would be to
not be a midget. Am I right?

Eenie, meenie, miney, Forman.

You know, Hyde, at first I thought
your dad was a real dirt bag.

But I've come to realize that
there's a fine line between dirt bag

and Father of the Year!

Damn.

Fellows, I have to be honest.

I've never played quarters
before, so I probably stink.

Oh. Happy day. Eric.

Man, this is the worst game
in the world.

I'm so thirsty.

Damn it! Eric, drink!

I mean, he lives on Fantasy
Island, man, and he's a midget!

It's so obvious.

Hmm.

Forman.

Does anyone else feel
kind of woozy?

Oh, what the hell, man?

If I make this shot, I promise
I will not pick you, Eric.

I pick you, Eric.

It's fun to lie.

Donna, that's Fireman Rob and
Fireman Dean. They're firemen!

Jackie, they're like 40.

Whatever. They're firemen!

Two hot firemen in a bar.
This is just like that play I wrote.

Okay, give me five minutes.

I'll pick the one I want,
and you can have the other.

Hello! I'm dating
someone, Eric.

Donna, Dean can
bench-press a keg.

Eric can't even
bench-press a cup.

He can, too.

Rob, Dean, this is Donna.

So what do you girls do?

That's funny you should ask.
We go to high school!

- Any outside interests?
- Uh-huh. High school guys!

Kelso, it's fine.
I'm not that drunk.

I just...

I just can't walk or see.

Man, that was...
That was a great party!

You know
who doesn't like parties?

Red.

"I'm Red!

"I don't like parties

"because I'm a big,
bald party pooper!"

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Son of a bitch!

Eric, when did
you eat spaghetti?

I knew something was
going on at Bud's.

When I went over there, the
only thing in the fridge, olives.

And poor Fez
had ice in his pants.

My head hurts.

That's your brain trying to
comprehend its own stupidity.

I mean, what kind of parent leaves a
bunch of teenagers alone with a keg?

A fun one?

Hey, Jim Beam, can it.

- Red, you need to
have a talk with Bud.
- No.

Eric's home now.

And what goes on between Bud and
Steven is between Bud and Steven.

He's just not a good dad.

Well, you know what?

I agree. So, I think
we should get in the car,

pick up Steven, and move him
back in with us and feed him

and clothe him and love him.

No.

I'm not loving anybody that
I'm not legally required to.

Fine, I'll call Bud.

- And, Eric,
I'll deal with you later.
- Thank you.

Mummy, I don't feel so good.

Well, if you're gonna get sick again,
why don't you throw up under the tree

because Christmas is ruined!

Oh, no.

So tell me more
about the big ladder thingy.

The cherry picker?

Funny story. True story.

Okay, Jackie, this is a
nightmare, and we're leaving.

Okay.

Look, Donna,
you have a boyfriend, I don't.

And maybe I don't want to
sit home alone every night.

And if somebody doesn't tell me
I'm cute in the next five minutes,

I'm gonna scream!

Hi. Sorry, my friend
was being a wet blanket.

Well, maybe I should
talk to her.

I mean, a wet blanket's
a fireman's best friend.

Boy, something about you
is so familiar.

You know,
I get that all the time.

See, from the right,
I look like Gidget

and from the left, I look like
Elizabeth Taylor. Neat, huh?

Oh, it's your laugh!

You know, I used to date
a girl with the same laugh,

but that was 20 years ago.

She dumped me
and married some rich lawyer.

Burk... Burkhart.
That was it.

Oh, my God, that's my name,
and my dad's a rich lawyer!

Oh, my God!

So, Jackie, was this
in the play you wrote?

Kitty, why are you smoking?

It's my Yuletide cigarette.

To celebrate all the children

who spend black Christmases
with bad parents.

Kitty, put that out.

Back off, Grinch.

Hey, Red. Hey, Kitty.

Bad parent.

- Is she all right?
- Hmm?

Oh, yeah. Sit down, Bud.

Kitty, sweetheart,

why don't you leave us alone
for a minute?

A boy can't live on olives.

Bud...

Eric just came back from
your place falling-down drunk.

He threw up on my shoes.

Now, what were you thinking,
leaving kids alone with a keg?

Look, Red, I've never
really been a dad before.

I'm just trying to...

I don't know, take it easy,
be his friend.

Why would you be friends
with a 17-year-old?

They're idiots.

Bud, being a teenager
is like being in combat.

One minute you're crawling
around half-blind,

the next, you're looking
for your own foot.

- Follow me?
- Not really.

I was a conscientious Canadian.

Well, if you weren't chicken,
and you did fight,

who would you want as
your lieutenant, me or you?

Well, you, 'cause you're
mean and scary.

That's right. Steven doesn't
need another friend, Bud.

Steven needs
somebody to ride his ass.

He may not like it.
He may not thank you for it.

He may do impressions of you
behind your back.

He thinks he's so damn funny.

But the point is,

he'll know right from wrong
because you did your job.

Bread, ham, bananas, milk,

because there are
four food groups, Bud, four!

I am so grossed out.

I need a Calgon bath, a facial,
some Tater Tots, and some Jean Nate.

- This night was the worst.
- I know.

I mean, I am not
gonna find love in a bar.

All I'm gonna find there are
guys who used to French my mom.

I mean, just this morning, I was
playing with my Pretty Ponies.

And look what you've
done to me, Donna, look!

Me?

I'm not the one who hooked up
with the Volunteer Fire Department.

I am never gonna meet anybody,

and I'm never,
ever gonna feel better, ever.

Jackie, when you're sad, you
look exactly like Mary Tyler Moore.

Oh, my God! Donna, I do!

I am gonna make it after all!

Damn!

Okay, everybody, here we go.

Now, if I catch on fire,
you promise to put me out?

Well, I'm sure someone will.
Right, guys?

Okay, great.

Steven, I gotta talk...

- What the hell are you doing?
- It is complicated.

All right, that's it.
Party's over. Everybody out.

What the hell
are you doing, Bud?

Steven, this place
is a madhouse.

The kids are all over the place, and
this guy could've burst into flames.

Well, we'll never know now,
will we, Bud?

Look, Eric went home so drunk,
he threw up all over Red's shoes.

That's good stuff.

No, it's not good stuff. And you
know what else? It's forbidden.

So, what, you're, like,
trying to play father now?

I'm not playing.
I am your father.

You wanna stay here,
you're gonna do what I tell you.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.

I'll be damned

if you're gonna end up looking
for your own foot on my watch!

Now, clean up all this crap, take the
trash out, and eat a banana, dumb ass!

Now he's all strict.

I gotta do my homework, and
he keeps talking about nutrition.

So, I guess, what I'm hearing
from all this is,

Hyde loves his daddy.

- Shut up, Forman. I do not.
- Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

And Daddy loves his little Hyde.

And that's why he yells
at him, and tucks him into bed

and puts on his little footsie pajamas,
and reads him bedtime stories!

Hey, thanks, Steven.
I'll take over from here.

- Now, about last night.
- You know what, Dad?

Before you get started,
I know what you're gonna say.

Oh, really?

What do you know?

That I was irresponsible
and stupid.

And I have it
on good authority that I

may have called you something.

Like, um,
"big, bald party pooper"?

For instance. But the point
is, Dad, I'm really ashamed

and sorry and afraid.

Hmm.

Okay. Well, that covers it.

Okay, good talk.

That's it?
I get off scot-free?

I mean,
I learnt a valuable lesson?

Look, Son, you're grown up now.

You know what you did wrong.

And I am too tired to keep thinking up
new and exciting ways to punish you.

So, merry Christmas.

Are you kidding me?

I don't get in trouble, and you're
giving me a Christmas present?

Oh, boy, this is
the best Christmas ever!

Actually, you know,
this really smells.

Yeah, those are my shoes
from last night.

Clean them, buff them,
and shine them.

Ho-ho-ho!

Dumb ass!

Damn.

Damn it.

Oh, come on!

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