Original subtitles

*** Subtitles by dylux ***

♪ I started ♪

♪ I was late ♪

Fuck me.

- Really? - Yeah.

I love you, Lindy.

I love you, too.

(Breathes heavily)

(Water dropping)

(Lindy humming)

♪ Would you be my candy boy? ♪

♪ I promise to be yours ♪

♪ Just waiting for another call ♪

♪ It's just all right ♪

♪ Amazing time ♪

♪ It's all good ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's all good ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's all good ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's all good ♪

(Woman moaning over video)

LINDY: What is happening here?

It's an orgasmic birth!

Isn't this wild?

No, I'm good.

- Why are you watching that? - Oh, my God.

My client is a doula.

Can you believe it?

I mean, I wish somebody had told me this when you were born.

Your head was absolutely ginor...

- Mom! Please stop. - RITA: Okay, I'm sorry.

Childbirth is the most natural thing in the world.

Speaking of natural,

this steak has 28 grams of natural protein.

It's so good for teenage girls to get into their bodies,

you know?

Didn't know you liked the old frat bro type!

Oh...

I just...

I barely know how to use this.

LINDY: It was a joke.

Can I see your profile?

No.

Please, mom?

It's like a human video game.

It's very inhumane.

Ah, mom.

This picture, what is this?

I... I...

You're so hot still, it's just like...

This... This is what you choose, as, like, sort of...

- Enough, enough! - Sorry, I just can't tell

if you're trying to get a job or a date?

I regret showing you.

Thank you.

(Cutlery clicking)

(Munching)

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

Well, I just wanted to see...

- You got your period? - No.

'Cause I went to get the conditioner,

the very expensive conditioner that you borrowed back

and I saw um, a pad in the garbage with blood...

- It's not! - On it.

No, I cut myself shaving.

There was, like, no Band-Aids.

Well then.

I'm just starting to wonder do you...

do you want to go see a gynecologist?

Weren't you the one telling me

you didn't get yours until you were, like, 17?

I'm sure it's fine.

You sure you didn't just miss it?

It could be very light when it starts.

- I gotta go to practice. - Okay, I'll drive you.

I was gonna do a Lyft shift anyways.

Just hold on.

LINDY: Can you just focus on the therapy,

so I don't have to worry about you

picking up my friends.

Oh, I'm sorry my boob

is not gonna reconstruct itself and...

And going back to school wasn't free, so...

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

I'm sorry for being a bitch.

- I love you. - RITA: I love you.

One day I'm gonna

buy you new boobs and a giant house,

so we don't have to live in Nana's.

Oh.

I'll get some, like, throw pillows or something

to make it feel more like us here, okay?

And I don't want huge ones, I just want two.

- I got it. - Okay.

Could I pull off double D's?

Hmm, you're too short!

COACH MIKE: Pre-season isn't supposed to be a spa day, girls.

Lift hard, run fast!

(Grunting)

(Grunts)

(Sighs)

LINDY: Damn, Viv!

I better make Varsity, I've been training my ass off.

There's no way you won't.

VIVIAN: I don't want to be separated, though.

Maybe we can be a package deal.

LINDY: That would be so sweet.

I mean,

my mom would be so happy if I got a scholarship.

My mom thinks my thighs are getting too bulky.

Your thighs are amazing.

COACH MIKE: Okay, that's enough chitchat.

Back at it, girls. Let's go!

Fuck my life.

Oh...

(Pants)

Hi, Sheena!

How are you feeling since our last session?

I don't really think this is working out so well.

Do you want to tell me a little bit more

about how that's feeling?

Look, I'm really sorry that your mom called you a "slut"

or whatever in high school, and again,

I am so sorry that she died.

Thank you.

I just thought that this was me paying you to talk

about how my mom slut-shamed me.

I totally understand

and how about we role-play?

No.

RITA: Ooh...

I lost you.

This is so good.

My mom says I'm lactose intolerant.

(Laughs)

So worth it though.

VIVIAN: I am definitely gonna shit my pants tonight.

(Chuckles)

VIVIAN: You look so good.

Yes, that's your color.

Sorry, just gonna grab that.

VIVIAN: Jax?

Hey...

Vivian McAlister.

You were in, like, my chem class last year.

- Yeah. Mr. Powers. - VIVIAN: Yeah.

He sucks a bag of dicks.

He is my uncle.

I love him.

Um, and complex chemical compound.

Literally name one?

(Chuckles)

Jax.

Nice to meet you.

Lindy.

That color looks really good on you, by the way.

VIVIAN: Mmm.

Thanks.

Anyway, I better go and pay for these.

VIVIAN: Cool.

And sorry about the uncle.

That's okay. He is kind of a dick.

(Chuckles)

VIVIAN: A huge dick.

JAX: Nice to meet you, Lindy.

- Why are you staring? - I'm not.

Okay.

It's so dope that they own being non-binary.

How do you know that?

Well, their "Too cute to be binary" shirt

kind of it gave it away.

Either way, they're super hot and cool as shit, too.

Well, her uncle does fucking suck though.

- Them. - Them!

Them, them, them, them, them.

Mmm... don't cancel me.

Also, did you know they have,

like, 40,000 followers on Instagram?

I don't even think if I was posting titty pics

if I'd even break 500.

Maybe, like, 600.

Like, max.

(Chuckles)

Max.

You're almost, like, so randomly hot

you don't even fucking maximize it.

I bet you could just drop out of school,

like, buy a condo in the city, and fucking get verified

and build a lifestyle empire based on being

unsuspectingly hot.

"Unsuspectingly hot"?

I love you.

(Chuckles)

These mix pleasure condoms are 2-for-1.

Do you want to get another one or...

What about these tampons?

MALE CASHIER: Yeah, they're not... they're just...

Just 1-for-1.

Okay. I'll be right back.

I don't even want these.

VIVIAN: You should keep 'em on hand.

Why does it look like a teabag container?

VIVIAN: I don't know.

But I've seen the way you and Adam eye-fuck each other.

But I don't even actually have my...

Have your what?

LINDY: Never mind.

He's had his eyes on you

since, like, pretty much the first day you moved here.

That's a lot of build-up.

And he's, like, cute now.

Like, "cute" cute.

I would say extremely hot.

(Chuckles)

I mean, like, have you seen his cheekbones?

Snatched?

So snatched.

For the Gods.

For the Gods, literally.

Hey, are you cool with us hanging out?

Yeah, it's fine.

He, like, touched my left tit in seventh grade.

What about, like, when your hymen breaks?

You probably already broke it, like, using a tampon

or, like, riding your bike or something.

Right, yeah.

Plus, it's, like, not really that big of a deal.

It's just like D in V.

And scene.

Okay.

(Indistinct shouting in background)

So, what, are we supposed to be little cheerleaders today?

FOOTBALL BRO 1: Roy, come on!

What's going on?

VIVIAN: Bet he has a huge dick.

Look at him.

ADAM: That's a deadly motherfucker, man.

Goddamn.

Does he?

(Indistinct shouting in background)

I don't know.

It felt big.

My God... what?

- Stop it, okay. - You little slut.

Do you think his ex was pretty, Karina?

Yeah, in that, like, trashy way that guys love, I guess.

So, like, you think they had sex?

Oh, for sure.

I heard she does anal.

One second.

No.

Gotta go. See ya.

Oh, my gosh.

Wait, are you actually hanging out with Doug again?

I thought we hate him.

- Hate is a strong word. - Oh.

Let's go with "tolerate".

Okay. Have fun.

Text me later.

(Air kisses)

(Air kisses)

- VIVIAN: Love you. - Love you.

FOOTBALL BRO 2: Oh, nice catch bro!

- Show off. - ADAM: Only when you're around.

FOOTBALL BRO 3: Ooh, Adam, your girl's here.

Hey, fuck off! Take this.

FOOTBALL BRO 3: Come on, man.

We're not invited?

Shit.

- LINDY: Nice bike. - ADAM: Thanks.

She's my baby.

Beautiful.

(Chuckles)

So, what'd you think?

- That was awesome. - ADAM: It's cool, right?

Goddamn.

Symmetry's crazy.

Holy shit.

But, honestly, Carrie's still my number 1 favorite.

Always gonna be.

(Kissing)

WOMAN'S VOICE: Adam!

I need you to move the file cabinet.

Can you come help me?

Yeah, I'm coming.

- Sorry. - LINDY: Okay.

(Clears throat)

ADAM: Umm.

(Adam clears throat)

ADAM: So, I'ma have a free house if you wanna...

have a sleepover?

Like, "sleepover", sleepover?

Or sleepover?

Uh, like, a sleepover.

LINDY: Yeah.

ADAM: Yeah.

Are we uh,

are we talking about the same thing?

I think so.

You've had sex before, right?

Um, yeah.

Like, like a bunch.

Uh, really, a bunch?

- Tons. - Tons?

Damn.

(Chuckles)

I mean, um, like...

WOMAN'S VOICE: Adam!

Like...

Like a normal amount, tons.

(Chuckles)

(Smooches)

You're cute.

Come with me.

VIVIAN: You totally have heart emoji eyes.

LINDY: I know.

I'm dying.

I really fucking like him.

(Takes a deep breath)

Ahhhh.

Fuck me.

VIVIAN: So, tell him that?

Just, like, let me be the nanny

when you have, like, a hundred of his hot babies

and forget about me.

You will not be the nanny.

I won't fuck your husband.

You know who I would fuck, though?

Who?

- Coach Mike. - LINDY: Ewww.

Viv, he's got a tribal tattoo!

Whatever, it was like Y2K.

He's, like, hot in this '90s villain sort of way.

Okay, I have to get ready.

The neighbor's dropping her kid off.

VIVIAN: Yeah, I guess you have to practice

for all those cute babies you're gonna have.

Love you.

I only want two.

Three max.

VIVIAN: If you end up on Teen Mom,

then I'm gonna have to become one, too

and honestly I don't have time for that.

Bye.

(Vivian blows kiss from phone)

VIVIAN: Bye.

(Typing)

(Woman in video moans)

♪ Throwing, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it all the space ♪

♪ Throwing the back ♪

♪ Throwing in the air ♪

♪ Throwing it around the circle ♪

♪ Do your dance ♪

♪ Throwing in the air ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Throwing it, throwing it back ♪

♪ Real boss shit ♪

♪ Everything I gotta own it ♪

♪ Killing things ♪

(Banging the pan)

Whooo!

(Playing with xylophone)

LINDY: That's so good.

Don't tell your mom

you're only napping for 8 minutes.

(Phone dings)

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Phew.

(Phone ringing)

VIVIAN: Hey sexy.

He sent me a fucking dick pic.

I don't know what to say.

Like, do I send him, like, a thumbs up emoji?

Ass shot.

Umm, I love this for you, by the way.

Also, are you on birth control?

No.

Let's fix that.

Bye.

Bye.

(Sighs)

♪ Do you wanna have some fun ♪

♪ But never ever, ever see anyone ♪

Don't look.

♪ Do you like it ♪

Sorry.

♪ You can party all alone ♪

♪ Don't forget that you can party all alone ♪

♪ Don't forget that you can party all alone ♪

♪ Don't forget that you can party all alone ♪

♪ Don't forget that you can party all alone ♪

♪ Don't forget that you can party all alone ♪

♪ I wanna feel like a cool girl ♪

♪ Walking up to you ♪

♪ But I never know how... ♪

(Typing on phone)

DOCTOR: And are you, uh, sexually active now?

Yeah.

I do sexual things, but not, like...

Yet.

Okay, well, as long as the sexual things you are doing

include oral sex

i.e., blow jobs, giving head, going down on,

eating out, anal play, anal sex,

manual sex, i.e., giving and receiving hand jobs,

fingering someone or being fingered yourself

amongst other things,

then you are, in fact, sexually active.

(Chuckles)

Just FYI.

Cool.

DOCTOR: Well, then, what...

What's the date of your last period?

Uh, I haven't gotten it yet.

DOCTOR: All right, can you just open up a bit for there, Lindy.

And, uh, scooch down, if you could.

Ah, a little bit more, please?

That's great, thank you.

Now this should be a little uncomfortable

for about 30 seconds, yeah.

Ow!

DOCTOR: Oh, sorry.

Let's, uh...

Let's try that again, shall we?

- Ow! - DOCTOR: I... I am sorry.

Uh, look, Lindy, why don't you just

go right ahead and sit up for me, please?

(Sighs)

What's wrong?

Is something wrong?

DOCTOR: Ah...

Well, I'm having difficulty accessing your vaginal canal.

Now this could be an imperforated hymen.

Do you know what that is?

DOCTOR: Well, there's a...

There's a small procedure you can get that, uh...

It could...

Well, I think maybe it's best if I referred you

to a specialist.

Mom!

(Baby crying in distance)

(Phone ringing in distance)

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Let's just not talk right now.

I just don't know why you would go to the doctor

to get birth control,

but not to check what's going on with your period.

You just talked again.

Sorry.

(Both sigh)

I mean I appreciate you being safe and everything.

Do you really need to sleep with the first guy

you meet at a new school?

- It's just... sorry. - Mom?

I'm sorry, I love you.

DR. DOHENY: Are you sure you don't want your mom in here with you?

LINDY: I'm sure.

No problem.

Do you mind if a few of my residents observe today?

Just for educational purposes.

Teaching hospital.

Oh, um... okay.

DR. DOHENY: Great. I'll be right back.

(Door opens)

(Phone ringing in background)

(Door closes)

- I... I think I changed my... - DR. DOHENY: Okay, open up.

Little more.

Atta girl.

Seems like the majority of the vaginal canal is absent.

(Sighs)

DR. DOHENY: Okay, if it's okay with you,

I'm going to insert two fingers into your rectum

to see if I can feel for ovaries.

Okay.

(Cries)

(Machine whirring)

TECHNICIAN: You're gonna hear some loud banging.

Would you like some music?

Okay.

TECHNICIAN: Okay, great.

Now press the panic button if you need us.

♪ It's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair ♪

♪ And dress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination ♪

♪ Life is your creation ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In a Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic ♪

♪ It's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair ♪

♪ Undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination ♪

♪ Life is your creation ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In a Barbie world ♪

(Slurps)

♪ I'm a Barbie girl ♪

♪ In a Barbie world ♪

(Mouse clicking)

Lindy appears to have MRKH Syndrome.

What do you mean "appears"?

What is that?

It... well, it stands for

Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome.

It's named after the four men, the doctors,

who discovered it.

(Scoffs)

DR. DOHENY: Um...

All of this is missing.

Except her ovaries.

- RITA: What? - DR. DOHENY: It's a congenital disorder

resulting in Lindy being born without a uterus, cervix

or vaginal canal, or most of one anyway.

She has about one inch of depth.

What we call a "blind vagina" or a "vaginal dimple".

I'm sorry, a blind what?

It just leads to nowhere, a dead end.

Medically, it's referred to as vaginal agenesis.

This means it will be virtually impossible

to have sex without manual or surgical assistance.

DR. DOHENY: And of course,

because she doesn't have a uterine lining to shed,

she won't ever get her period.

Though, she likely still releases eggs every month,

like any other normal woman.

RITA: Wait a minute.

I mean, is this...

Is this my fault?

I had a few glasses of wine before I knew I was pregnant.

I smoked, like, one, maybe two cigarettes.

I mean, oh, my God.

(Cries)

So, she can't be a mother?

DR. DOHENY: She can't carry a child, no.

I actually was at a conference a few weeks ago

where they took a girl's deceased grandmother's uterus,

implanted it into her and boom!

VIVIAN: It's, like, not really that big of a deal.

DR. DOHENY: She has her own baby!

- Can you believe it? - VIVIAN: It's just D in V.

DR. DOHENY: You never know what advancements will be made.

- VIVIAN: And scene. - DR. DOHENY: When, if...

(Dr. Doheny chuckles)

DR. DOHENY: ...you want kids.

God works in mysterious ways.

VIVIAN: ...you'd practice for all those cute babies you're gonna have.

DR. DOHENY: Lindy, I know...

RITA: Okay, childbirth is the most natural thing in the world.

DR. DOHENY: ...a lot of information to take in.

(Baby laughing)

DR. DOHENY: I am confident that we can make you feel like a rather,

normal young woman with some assistance.

RITA: Fuck.

(Cries)

(Taking deep breathes)

You know, it may not be a bad idea to talk to a therapt

about all this.

I actually am a therapist.

Interesting.

LISA: Dilators... so, nothing to be afraid of.

You know, you've got your different colors.

This guy's sort of a neon green and then,

you know then you work your way up sort of to this guy...

- Oh. - And my ex-husband didn't even..

Do you know what I mean?

So, that's the dream there.

And...

But the vagina really is just an amazing muscle

and for you,

you're just going to have to stretch it out.

So, I would start off with this little guy.

This little fella.

Apply pressure twice a day for 15 to 30 minutes

while you hit the Gram or do your studies,

until you can comfortably fit...

So, how long do I have to do this

before I can have sex?

Well, it depends.

Usually, anywhere from 3 to 18 months.

I'm... I'm sorry.

3... 18 months?

Yeah. But the good news is,

once you have created your vagina,

you only have to maintain it once a week through sex

or dilation.

Right?

Bob's your unky.

(Chuckles)

LISA: Yeah, um...

You're an athlete, right?

Right.

So, just think of this, like, it's like training,

like, it's, like, sort of you know,

vagina boot camp!

Sorry.

No.

There really is no way of making this better for you.

Being 16 is just bloody hell, isn't it?

Yeah, complete shit.

(Muffled scream)

(Sighs)

(Grunts)

(Girls grunt)

COACH MIKE: That's practice, ladies! Nice job.

Go check that one in your...

Oh.

COACH MIKE: Lindy!

Nice push out there, new girl!

- Can we chat? - LINDY: Oh, sure.

(Indistinct chatter in background)

Make sure you get the hamstrings.

GIRL 1: It's a bit better today.

Listen, I really want you to run 100 for me at Varsity.

What? Really?

COACH MIKE: Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong.

It's going to be a big time commitment.

Morning and weekend practices.

The whole thing.

Uh, what about Viv though?

I mean, she's so good and she really wants it.

COACH MIKE: She is, but you're more explosive off the line.

Uh, she's been running way longer than me though.

Hey listen, I know you're new to this, okay?

And some people are just born different.

And I think you're one of those people.

I think we can win regionals and if we do,

there's gonna be some big-time college scouts there.

What do you say?

- Okay. - COACH MIKE: Yeah?

I'm in.

COACH MIKE: That's what I wanted to hear.

Welcome to the team.

- Thanks. Yeah, sorry. - We'll get it next time.

- Yeah. - It's all right.

VIVIAN: Is that what I thought it was?

Yeah. I... I asked about you.

Don't worry about it.

I'm, like, obviously happy for you.

Just don't steal my man, though.

LINDY: Oh, my God, I will not!

(Vivian chuckles)

LINDY: I will not!

Hey, you've been working out, Coach?

(Indistinct chatter in background)

This man is so afraid of being #MeToo'ed

that he won't even look me in the eye.

You are sort of sexually harassing him.

Fine.

VIVIAN: Do you ever get that, like, sharp pain in your ass

when you have your period?

Yeah, I hate when that happens.

Do you have a tampon?

Uh, no, sorry.

I think I left it, like, in my locker.

VIVIAN: Fuck.

LINDY: Vagina.

Vagina.

Universe, women, vagina, vagina...

Ugh!

I have no idea I want to write this paper about.

How about how The Handmaid's Tale

relates to current policies in the United States?

You're really smart.

I like that.

I like that, you know, a lot about movies and bitcoin.

ADAM: Huh.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's just code for me being dumb?

But I'm cool with you being smarter than me.

That's hot actually.

(Kissing)

Uh, are you hungry?

I'm hungry.

ADAM: Yeah, I can eat.

Ah, it's okay. Maybe you should just go.

I need to work out.

ADAM: Well, I can work out with you if you want.

Uh, I can't work out with you, like, right in front of me.

Hey, I'll be professional, I promise.

Um, maybe you should just go.

Can you please go?

Sorry.

I'm being psycho.

ADAM: It's okay.

(Kissing)

RITA: Hi guys!

- ADAM: Hi! - Um, we should go.

ADAM: No, I want to say hi to your mom.

- I got this. - It's so crazy what people

put out as garbage on the street.

Look at this.

Oh, I'll help with that, I'll help you get this.

Oh, thank you.

Trying to make the place more like us

and less like my mom.

She died last year, so...

I'm sorry to hear that.

Aw, thank you.

I mean she was crazy, but at least that's not genetic.

Unlike breast cancer.

Um, we were just doing homework.

Yeah, she's really smart.

You probably already know that.

I do.

Oh, sorry.

Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. McPhee.

My name is Adam.

Nice to meet you, Adam.

Um, you can call me Rita.

'Cause there is no "Mr." to my "Mrs.".

Cool.

Feminism.

Yes.

Hm, well, it's very nice to meet you.

Keep studying.

Okay.

That was really awkward.

No, she's funny.

- LINDY: Is she? - Yeah.

(Smooches)

- LINDY: Okay, well, I'm gonna go. - ADAM: Okay.

LINDY: Deal with the crazy table lady.

All right, I'm gonna study this book.

LINDY: Okay.

(Smooches)

- Bye. - LINDY: Bye.

(Chuckles)

LINDY: Famous people with MRKH.

Jaclyn Schultz.

Former Survivor contestant and Miss Michigan.

Born without a uterus.

Hmm.

(Sighs)

LINDY: Hitler's wife, Eva Braun,

never had sex with him due to gynecological condition.

Fuck my life.

(Sighs)

(Phone ringing)

Peter, I'm coming.

PETER'S GIRLFRIEND: Hi, this is Peter's girlfriend.

Yeah, he's a piece of shit.

Oh, boy.

Wow.

(Sighs)

Good luck with that.

PETER'S GIRLFRIEND: I'm sorry.

Sorry, bye.

Fuck my life.

(Puffs smoke)

MAN IN VIDEO: Vaginal dilation,

can be an overwhelming and anxiety-producing proce.

With a few helpful tips,

it can become a comfortable and normal part of your day.

To dilate,

you'll need a dilator of your choosing...

(Gasps)

MAN IN VIDEO: and a water-based lubricant.

Get into a comfortable position with your legs relaxed

- in a butterfly position. - What the fuck?

MAN IN VIDEO: Position the dilator

at the entrance to the vaginal canal,

with the dilator slightly tilted up.

Phew.

MAN IN VIDEO: To dilate,

you'll need a dilator of your choosing

and a water-based lubricant.

You'll start with the smaller dilators

and progress your way slowly into the larger sizes

over a period of time.

The first step is to get yourself

in a comfortable position

with your legs relaxed in a butterfly position.

Position the dilator

at the entrance to the vaginal canal,

with the dilator slightly tilted up.

In order to maintain vaginal depth,

we advise you do this daily.

(Indistinct speech)

(Sighing)

(Cries)

(Groans)

RITA: Honey, can you give me a hand with something, please?

LINDY: Stand it up.

(Sighs)

RITA: You know, I was thinking back to my pregnancy last night

and the doctor said that he thought

that you might have a cleft lip, which obviously you don't,

but I'm wondering, if it might be related.

Probably not.

Um, they don't really know,

but I read something about it being connected

to the male genetics.

Interesting.

And that makes a lot of sense.

How's Adam?

He's good.

He seems adorable.

Yeah, he's so cute.

RITA: Oh, my gosh.

I know that look in your eye

and I know that you guys hang out a lot, and...

I just would hate for you to share this with him

and... (Sighs)

And what?

And I don't know,

if it affects his opinion of you,

which it shouldn't.

Mom, you don't even know him.

RITA: I'm just saying men are biologically driven,

they're really not as nuanced as women,

about life and stuff.

Okay, what's the point of this conversation?

RITA: It's just hard enough as it is

to be a perfect woman

let alone one with any sort of issue.

Or, and not that this is an issue.

Just a difference.

But I love all of you, exactly as you are,

no matter what.

Got it. Thanks for the heads-up.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, we need to talk about this.

You need to talk about this with someone,

even if it's not me.

LINDY: I will!

Fuck!

Fuck! Jeez.

♪ You are running around with me ♪

♪ V-A-G-I-N-A P-O-L-I-C-E ♪

♪ V-A-G-I-N-A P-O-L-I-C-E ♪

♪ V-A-G-I-N-A P-O-L-I-C-E ♪

♪ V-A-G-I-N-A P-O-L-I-C-E ♪

(Sighs)

GROUP TEEN: What's kind of weird is that people think

that if I start taking T

it's some sort of ploy for attention.

It's crazy.

Why would I go through that for likes, you know?

Anyway, maybe I'll have a hot stash summer.

(Teen chuckles)

LISA: But I love that for you.

I really do.

It's wonderful.

Okay, who's next?

JAX: Ah sure, I'll take the floor.

Right, okay.

(Chuckles)

JAX: Uh, hey, what's up?

I'm Jax.

I'm a pretty good artist.

I can do a perfect cat eye.

I suck at anything athletic

and I'm intersex.

Finding that out was crazy

and I'm not gonna lie hard as shit.

But finding my community here and online,

honestly made me feel a lot better.

I don't feel like an object of medicine anymore.

I feel like being intersex

gives me a superpower, you know.

And to own who you are, however you define yourself,

is up to you.

And no one should ever make you feel ashamed of that.

Oh, and I get mad dates, too, so..

(Teenagers chuckling)

...don't worry about that.

(Teenagers chuckle)

LISA: Umm, okay,

so... Lindy...

Would you like to introduce yourself?

Uh, sure.

Uh, sure.

Hey, everyone.

Um, I'm Lindy.

I um, I have this thing called "MRKH"

and I don't really know how to tell...

pretty much my worst nightmare

is people finding out before I...

is people finding out before I...

Uh... uh, sh-shit.

I... I gotta go.

Um, I'm... I...

I think I left something at my house.

I have to actually go get it right now.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Oh, and good luck on your moustache,

if you want one.

Thank you for your time.

(Muffled scream)

(Knocking on the door)

RITA: Honey?

Honey?

Mom, what are you doing? Get out!

- RITA: Sorry! I knocked! - Get out!

RITA: Why are there chips everywhere?

Okay!

Fuck, I'm late!

(Grunting)

What the fuck?

You were in my way!

You literally crossed into my lane.

You were in my lane on your whole back end.

Okay.

Fucking new girl PMS-ing or something.

What did you just say?

I said you are PMS-ing, bitch!

Why don't you just shut the fuck up!

Shut your fucking mouth!

- Hey, don't do that to me! - COACH MIKE: Hey! Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, chill out!

Relax!

Where're you going?

Fuck this, I don't want to be here.

- COACH MIKE: We're not done here! - VIVIAN: Hey, are you okay?

Yeah. Just over it.

ADAM: Oh, you all right?

You seem kind of out of it.

I'm good.

Just tired.

I could wake you up.

Um, you wanna?

I thought you weren't a weed guy.

I'm a weed guy now.

ADAM: All right.

(Lighter flicks)

ADAM: Wanna try something?

Sure.

ADAM: Come.

Tighten your lips.

(Kissing)

ADAM: Hmm, you're so fucking hot.

(Kissing)

I don't know how much longer I can wait.

You wanna do it?

Now?

Yeah.

Soon.

(Sighs)

Honestly, you're a bit of a tease.

Uh, can you just stop?

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

I'm just on my period.

ADAM: Oh.

You could've just told me.

I uh...

I told my mom you're my girlfriend.

You did?

Are you?

Yeah.

Yeah?

(Kissing)

♪ Meet me in the parking lot ♪

♪ The only place we've left to go to ♪

♪ Trying anything once ♪

♪ I will perform for you ♪

♪ Done on this before ♪

♪ Sometimes I even think I like it ♪

ADAM: Oh, my God.

♪ Bigger the lie we tell ♪

♪ The more we're prone to buy it ♪

♪ I will let you worship ♪

♪ The ground I walk on ♪

♪ Even if there's nothing there ♪

♪ You will really follow you down ♪

♪ I... ♪

What are you doing?

RITA: Nothing.

Okay.

Are your eyes red?

Um... it's allergies.

Are you stoned?

No.

(Lindy chuckles)

A little.

Seriously, it's a gateway drug to big pharma.

Sorry.

Uh, I'm gonna go to bed now.

(Lindy chuckles)

Goodnight, I love you, goodnight.

Love you.

♪ Talk around the obvious ♪

♪ Avoiding conversation ♪

♪ In the information age ♪

♪ We have mastered evasion ♪

♪ Then you'll tell me how you want me ♪

♪ And I'll happily oblige ♪

(Footsteps approaching)

LINDY: Thank you!

You look so good.

I literally hate theme parties.

Why is your boyfriend like this?

I think it's cute.

Do you have a phone charger I could borrow?

Oh, what do we have here?

- LINDY: Oh, my God... - Are these butt plugs?

I did not take you for a backdoor queen.

Can you please stop?

Okay, sorry.

I was thinking maybe we could talk about...

I don't want to talk about track.

How did you know that I was gonna talk about track?

I just don't feel like doing it right now.

I don't have time.

Are you okay?

It seems like something's wrong.

I'm fine.

I just have some, like, weird medical stuff going on.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

I just, like, can't get my period.

VIVIAN: Oh... like, ever?

Mm-hmm.

Well then, you're lucky.

They suck.

- LINDY: Yeah. - That's, like, not a bad thing.

Yeah, uh,

can we maybe, like, talk about this later?

- VIVIAN: Why don't you get... - Please!

What did you want to talk to me about?

Oh, um...

We don't... we don't have to talk about.

It's... whatever.

(Chuckles)

So, what did you need this blood for?

(Screams)

LINDY: Oh...

Oh, my God.

Does it look good?

I'm gonna kill you.

VIVIAN: I think you're, like, already dead.

(Chuckles)

VIVIAN: It's like...

(Both chuckle)

ADAM: Goddamn.

Look at you!

(Smooches)

ADAM: You look amazing.

Yo, your cat is definitely not in the bathroom anymore.

ADAM: Okay.

I'll be right back, I gotta go look for my cat.

You look deadly.

You look good too, Viv.

Thanks.

The pussy is gone.

Let's go.

(Indistinct chatter)

Um, let's go outside.

LINDY: Oh, no, it's fine.

Hey, uh,

I'm really sorry about what happened.

Oh, yeah, me too.

You shouldn't have quit. You're really good.

Yeah, come on.

It's cool you two are still cool, though.

- LINDY: What? - Like, about the team.

You wanna get a drink, Lindy?

'Cause I, like, really...

LINDY: Wait, what about the team?

Coach gave Viv your spot.

She didn't tell you?

Oh, yeah, she told me.

Uh, that's awesome. Yeah.

Um, I'm sorry that was the thing

I was trying to bring up with you before...

LINDY: I'll be right back.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Lindy.

No, it's fine!

Honestly, like, you deserve it way more than I do.

I just got lucky. I think I need to go.

VIVIAN: No, don't go, don't go, don't go!

No, I'm PMS-ing.

I'm fine.

But I thought you...

(Indistinct chatter in background)

Hey!

- Hey. - We keep bumping into each other.

That's gotta mean something, right?

I know. So random, right?

ADAM: Hey, Carrie...

(Chuckles)

Hey, so, like,

I don't know if you've ever seen, like, Fight Club,

but you know how they talk

about, like, the only rule of Fight Club

being to not talk about the club...

I've actually never seen Fight Club.

Okay, uh...

What I'm trying to say is, if anyone asks, like, how we met,

can you just, like, say our parents know each other,

or we met at the drugstore or something?

Wow.

Um... yeah, okay.

I didn't mean it like that.

You do you.

Make a wish.

Well, I'll see you later.

Okay.

PARTY GIRL: You're, like, a hotter,

less problematic Johnny Depp.

Are you leaving?

Yeah, I think so.

Did I do something wrong?

No, not at all.

I'm just not feeling that great.

Okay.

Do you mind coming to my room for a second before you leave?

Mm-hmm.

(Chuckles)

Do you want help?

ADAM: I got it, I got it.

It's, uh, super nerdy, but here.

Open it.

This is super cute.

Thank you.

Well, you know, I saved my favorite for last.

LINDY: Thank you.

ADAM: Yeah.

What... what's wrong?

It wasn't supposed to make you sad.

No, it's fine.

It's great.

I love it, I really do.

Um...

I just, I quit.

ADAM: What?

Why?

Uh, do you, like, maybe,

want, like, a blowjob or something?

Uh, maybe.

I mean, like, not, not now, I...

Uh, I gotta go.

Um, you should go find Karina or something.

Why would I want to talk to her?

I don't know. You obviously did at some point.

Who cares about Karina?

You're being harsh for no reason.

I mean...

Lindy, I really like you.

But I'm starting to get the vibes

that maybe you don't like me.

I'm sorry.

Phew.

Fuck!

GUY IN JEEP: Have a nice night, tampon.

- JAX: Lindy! - Fuck off!

Oh, hey, I...

I'm so sorry.

I thought these guys were...

Say no more... absolute assholes.

I was walking behind you

and I thought I should draw attention to myself,

so I didn't completely freak you out

like I already did.

(Both chuckle)

It's fine.

I live around the corner.

Do you maybe, like,

wanna go drink this on a beach near my house?

Uh... sure.

Yeah, let's do it.

- Okay. - Okay, okay.

Ooh, I dare you to jump in butt-ass naked.

No fucking way.

(Chuckles)

I would never do that.

Too cold.

Okay, truth then.

Okay.

Is Adam your boyfriend?

Adam is my boyfriend, yeah.

Or was.

I don't even know anymore.

Are you dating anyone?

Not right now, no.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

You said at that group that you were intersex.

And I was just wondering if you could elaborate?

Elaborate on what it means or?

Never mind, I'm being stupid.

JAX: No, it's not stupid.

It's basically an umbrella term which means

your reproductive or, like, anatomy,

doesn't fit the typical, like, male or female binary.

I actually made a bunch of videos on it

a few years ago and post 'em online.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry for referencing my own stuff...

In a actual real life conversation.

Feel free to never talk to me again.

No, you're fine.

I'll definitely check them out.

I will, don't be embarrassed.

Um... (Chuckles)

Thank you for sharing that.

I feel like I should know all that.

Well, the more you know...

(Chuckles)

So, you like living here?

Well, you got some trees, you got some water.

You got me in a prince costume,

which sticks out like a sore thumb.

(Chuckles)

Looks amazing.

JAX: But, yeah, I'm working a coffee shop right now.

Just, like, saving for college.

Do you like living here?

Yeah, it's okay.

I mean, we've moved around a lot.

So, it's, like, hard to keep and make friends,

if you know what I mean?

Well, I look forward to being a friend

that you inevitably lose touch with.

(Kissing)

I'm so sorry.

(Chuckles) It's all good.

Uh, I should probably get going. It's, like, really late.

Oh, well, let me walk you.

I think if we we've learned anything from tonight,

it's that tampons shouldn't walk alone.

Thanks.

YOUTUBER COMMENTER 1: OMFG, you are too cute.

Like a perfect mix of guy and a girl.

YOUTUBER COMMENTER 2: You're so brave for sharing your story.

I love you so much.

YOUTUBER COMMENTER 3: Fucking disgusting!

Go kill yourself!

JAX: What's up, fam?

It's Jax,

and we're here with the third part

of my intersex story.

So, in the last video,

we talked about how I was born with internal gonads.

And I had them removed,

because my doctors told me they were cancerous.

But in this video, I actually want to talk

about my second normalizing surgery,

which was my vaginoplasty,

which my birth parents and my doctors told me

I needed.

When I was 11.

So, yeah, trigger warning.

This video is a bit intense.

BIOLOGY TEACHER: Ah, so we looked at hybrid animals.

Yes, so what were the two animals

that created the hybrid...

What animal am I looking for?

That is a hybrid mule.

So, we have a horse and a...

what's the other animal?

Somebody please?

All right, that's a donkey.

Yes.

LINDY: Is MRKH intersex?

VIDEO NARRATOR 1: MRKH is an intersex conditi,

because of the deviation of the reproductive systems

from standard...

VIDEO NARRATOR 2: No, MRKH Syndrome

wouldn't be classified as a form of intersex

because it's a condition of incomplete female development.

VIDEO NARRATOR 1: But how can we all be free from harmful expectations

on our bodies?

BIOLOGY TEACHER: It is pretty cool

how some species respond to overpopulation

by creating sterile females.

That'd be sick.

You never have to worry about getting a girl pregnant.

(Students chuckle)

BIOLOGY TEACHER: That is not the point, Doug.

Bodies have a way of being just the way

they're meant to be.

Everybody is perfect to someone.

Even I've been laid more than this bitch has.

I believe that.

(Indistinct chatter)

Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?

ADAM: Yeah.

I'm sorry for being an asshole the other night.

The book was, like, the nicest thing that

anyone's ever done for me.

Well, that's cool.

It was childish anyways, so...

Okay, uh,

'cause you don't, like, seem that cool.

- STUDENT 1: Yeah. - STUDENT 2: Oh, my God.

I just, I thought maybe we could...

- BRO 1: Yo, Adam. - What's up, guys?

- BRO 2: Yo! - What's up, what's up?

- How you guys doing? - BRO 1: Now you know me.

ADAM: Yeah.

It's cool. (Clears throat)

LINDY: Um, so there's, like, some stuff

I've been meaning to talk to you about.

What is it?

Um, I just, like,

just... I just need some time to work on myself.

It's not like a forever thing.

It's just...

Adam, I really like you.

Um, maybe you could, like, give me some time.

Well, how much time?

Um... like, 3 to 18 months.

Like, maybe more, maybe less.

What?

Lindy, honestly, I'm confused, man.

And you obviously seem, like, you're not into it,

so maybe we should just do our own thing.

(Zipping)

Bag's open.

(Phone dings)

ADAM: I hope you find what you're looking for, Carrie.

(Indistinct lyrics in background)

Hey.

Sorry, do you mind if I take that tray?

- Sure. - My manager won't let me leave

until I've wiped down 13 more trays

and I've only done 12.

I think she has OCD or something.

Pretty sure that's not what OCD is.

Oh, uh, sorry if you have that.

Okay, well, uh,

I'm gonna go wipe these down, um...

I'm Chad, by the way.

Hi Chad.

(Slurping)

DR. DOHENY: A little bit of depth in there.

Yeah, keep at it, kiddo.

And if you have a boyfriend,

you can actually practice with him,

provided he's not so, you know, endowed.

(Chuckles)

DR. DOHENY: You know there are some other options,

should dilation not be working for you.

What is it?

DR. DOHENY: Well, there are a few types of different surgical methods,

But I'd have to refer you to a specialist,

and get your mom involved in this conversation, of course.

I've got an old college buddy of mine in Dallas

who does mostly vaginoplasty for The Real Housewives type,

but, um, I could check with him.

Give my buddy a call.

He is the guy for this kind of thing.

RITA: Oh, okay, thanks.

I'll talk to her.

WOMAN IN VIDEO: The McIndoe surgical technique

consists of performing a careful dissection

between the bladder and rectum, using a skin graft

usually from the buttocks or thigh.

A gentle blunt dissection is all that is necessary

to create an adequate cavity.

This slide...

RITA: You okay, hun?

Yeah, just... just wanna get out of here.

Sure, you don't want to order anything?

I'm not hungry.

(Indistinct chatter in background)

(Munching)

Haven't seen Adam around.

Yeah, just busy with school, and track, and stuff.

I guess that's for the best right now anyway, right?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Just... you have your whole life to deal with men.

They're not the priority right now.

You can't just, like, delete men, because you got burned by one.

Like, get over it, he left you with a toddler!

Nana helped you

and left you with a weird wooden house.

Like, I turned out fine!

You're so freakin' bitter!

(Sighs)

I'm sorry.

Look, I want to pay for this surgery for you.

I've saved up money for the reconstruction

and from Nana...

Stop trying to fix everything!

RITA: If you don't want this surgery, that's fine.

I just wish you would talk to me.

I just want you to feel like a normal,

beautiful, smart teenage girl.

I'm not fucking normal!

You are not fucking normal!

LINDY: Viv, open up!

Adam...

What the...

Fuck you both, you motherfuckers!

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

♪ Fuck the pain away ♪

(Indistinct chatter)

Hi.

Uh, hi.

Do you want to hang out after your shift?

Oh, sure, yeah.

Uh, sounds fun.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Actually, can I get a shake?

Sure.

Right, uh...

(Slurping)

Do you wanna make out?

Like... like... like, now?

Yeah.

(Kissing)

Uh, have you had sex before?

Uh, whoa.

Umm...

Sorry, uh... I was just curious.

No, not yet.

Oh, are you, like,

saving yourself for marriage and all that?

No, not really.

I'm just...

waiting for the right person, I guess.

Cool, me too.

You know, I'd love to practice though,

so I'm really good when the time comes.

Ah...

CHAD: Whoa...

Am I... am I in?

(Winces)

CHAD: Oh, do you... do you like this?

Mmm, yeah, that feels so good.

(Sighs)

You're sure not gonna get pregnant, right?

Yes.

But what if you do?

I mean, I'd be there for you, obviously.

Thanks.

Did that feel weird?

Uh... I mean, sorta.

How?

I don't know.

Uh, just kind of felt like,

a little too tight, I guess.

Okay, thanks.

Uh, but did it feel normal?

CHAD: Uhh, I... I don't know.

Maybe my dick isn't so small after all.

Hey, uh, where are you going?

I... I can drive you.

LINDY: Uh, I just need some fresh air.

Thanks though.

It's dark!

LINDY: Sorry, I'm home late.

- Night, mom. - It's fine.

Come here for a sec.

When did I become your enemy?

Can we play therapy session tomorrow?

I'm really tired.

No, that's too bad.

'Cause I'm kind of a shitty therapist,

so I need to practice.

Look, I get it.

Okay, I'm your mom,

I know I'm the last person you wanna talk to

about your vagina, and dilators, and lube,

and sex stuff, but don't forget I've been

through my fair share of shit too, hun.

I know.

It was really hard

when your dad left me with a toddler.

And I only had a high school diploma.

And your Nana tried to warn me.

And we got into these huge fights,

because I thought

she was just being negative about her own marriage.

But she was just trying to protect me

from what she obviously knew would happen,

which is really annoying.

And I never told you this, but right before I got sick,

I started having feelings for someone.

I mean, it was right when I thought

things were just going my way for once...

- What? - And...

Who? Like when?

Doesn't matter.

He said, he wasn't attracted to me anymore.

After the surgery.

He got married last year to a woman named Delilah.

So, she has long hair and floatation device tits.

Anyways, that's not the point.

The point is, I would get my heart broken

and chop my tit off 8 million times over again

if it meant that you wouldn't get this diagnosis.

All I want to do, is protect you from pain

and I know that a lot of the time

that looks like I'm hurting you more.

And I know how that feels and I don't want to do that.

I don't want to be Nana.

But I'm really glad that I didn't listen to her.

Because it got me you.

My beautiful girl.

Hey, I'm really sorry you're going through this.

It's really shitty.

And I'm sorry I've been shitty, too.

I have a chicken boob.

And I'm tired.

LINDY: I'm going to get coffee.

I left something for you.

How come you never asked me about why I was at that group?

Well, I didn't wanna ask you anything

that was going to make you uncomfortable

or that you weren't ready to talk about.

A nurse wanted me to go,

because I have this thing called "MRKH"

where I don't have a uterus.

And my vagina isn't really developed.

And I can't have sex.

Well, I sort of can.

I don't know.

And I have to use these,

well, they're kind of, like--

Okay, basically, they're just medical dildos

- that I have to use - (Chuckles)

LINDY: to make a fucking vagina and I hate every second of it.

That's a lot.

I'm sorry you're going through all of that.

Thank you for saying that.

Can I ask you something?

Go for it.

I watched that YouTube video

about your birth parents agreeing

to let them do surgery on you as a kid

which is, obviously, super fucked-up,

but, like, do you think if I got surgery

to, like, fix my issue, it's a different thing?

"Fix your issue"?

What do you mean?

I just want a normal fucking vagina.

And to never think about it again.

I don't think the people with "normal" vaginas

get to stop thinking about them, unfortunately.

I guess.

Do you think I'm normal?

Yeah.

I mean, other than that Styrofoam head

that you have in your room.

(Chuckles)

Well, I'm glad you think so.

It's just annoying when people think,

because you have a bunch of followers

and you post videos online

that... you don't sometimes wish

things were different, you know.

I used the internet to share all this stuff.

'Cause I was scared... was scared

of what would happen if, like,

I didn't control my own narrative, you know?

Yeah, I do.

You're the first person I've told out loud about it.

It wasn't so bad, was it?

You're still you.

And I think you're pretty perfect,

just the way you are.

♪ Like you do ♪

♪ Like you do me ♪

♪ You got me dizzy ♪

♪ Heads spinning ♪

♪ Lost and you're scared ♪

♪ I've been fair ♪

♪ If you let me ♪

♪ And I daydream ♪

♪ See what I see ♪

♪ Can we close our eyes ♪

♪ And pretend I'm someone ♪

♪ You don't see as a friend ♪

♪ Slowly ♪

♪ Softly right to the edge ♪

♪ Can we let this start ♪

♪ Before it ends too late ♪

♪ No one can do what you do ♪

♪ What you do... ♪

♪ Call me crazy ♪

♪ Just call me baby ♪

JAX: Is this okay?

♪ No one can do ♪

LINDY: Yeah.

♪ What you do ♪

♪ Like you do me ♪

(Lindy sighs)

♪ You got me dizzy ♪

♪ Heads spinning ♪

♪ Lost and you're scared ♪

♪ I'll be there ♪

♪ If you let me ♪

♪ And I daydream ♪

♪ See what I see ♪

♪ No one can do what you do ♪

♪ Like you do me ♪

I feel so awkward.

Like, I feel, like, I'm dancing weird.

Dance like no one's watching.

LINDY: Oh, my God!

That's, like, no pressure at all.

- JAX: There you go. - Aha!

Oh yeah!

(Chuckles)

- I'm embarrassed. - She's loosening up, I see it.

(Lindy chuckles)

Okay, I'm gonna go find my phone,

I have to text my mom.

- Yeah, yeah. - I'll be back, okay.

Ooh, sorry.

Um, have you seen a phone?

I... I have a iPhone.

Have you seen it around?

Okay.

CHAD: Lindy?

Hey! Uh, what's up?

Hey, oh, I just...

I haven't heard much from you since uh... you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Um, I am just trying to find my phone right now.

Uh, yeah.

- Oh. - Have you seen my phone?

Oh, okay.

It has a blue case, so if you see it...

Oh, uh, yeah, um... do you think maybe you wanna

go grab some coffee or something sometime?

Hey.

LINDY: Hey.

Jax. You are?

Chad.

So, how do you two know each other?

Well, uh, she came into my work and...

And I ordered a milkshake.

Okay. (Chuckles)

Uh, well, yeah, um,

I'll keep an eye out for your phone.

Uh, you look really pretty by the way.

Thanks.

Oh, uh, I meant...

Another drink?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Bye, Chad.

So Chad?

LINDY: Yeah, he's nice.

JAX: Yeah, seems it.

Yeah.

JAX: Crucifix and everything.

Mmmm.

Hot vodka water.

(Chuckling)

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Kiss me.

Um, like, right now?

(Chuckles)

That's all I needed to know.

Thanks.

LINDY: Wait, wait! Uh, Jax, I'm sorry.

Honestly, I should've known better.

Bye, Lindy.

Ahhh!

Oh, that was close.

Chug, chug, chug, chug.

Chug, chug, chug!

Oh, for the love of God.

LINDY: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!

(Chuckles)

Hey, you good?

Yeah, I'm good.

Okay, because you just flashed that guy.

LINDY: Interesting, coming from you.

Okay, we really need to talk actually about what happened...

Whatever.

And I'm... okay.

In the middle of a game right now, you know.

You're doing really good, too.

- Okay. - Oh, bye.

CHAD: Uh, ocupado.

CHAD: I... I feel like you're using me.

LINDY: Why don't you just wanna fuck?

CHAD: Stop. Stop. This is weird.

LINDY: What? Wh... what do you mean?

CHAD: This just feels fucked up.

LINDY: Okay, what's wrong?

CHAD: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I just... I gotta go.

LINDY: Hey, I'm so... I didn't!

Wait, you forgot your shirt!

Right, here!

Oh...

Oh, okay.

I don't have a uterus or vagina.

I know.

(Chuckles)

Like, I can't have sex without, like, fixing it.

Well, huh, I can, sorta.

I tried to make Chad fuck me,

so I don't have to make a vagina by myself.

(Burps)

Okay.

Ah, well, I'm gonna let you unpack all of...

that,

uh, but I'm gonna get going.

Bye.

Just don't puke, okay.

Someone's phone is in a random boot over here.

(Typing on keyboard)

RITA: I took your phone and your laptop.

Can I have my phone back?

Nope.

Evidently, you don't know how to use it.

I almost called the friggin' police!

I'm really sorry, okay.

I mean, like,

I was just playing beer pong and I drank too much.

Yeah, you did.

Seriously, you can't get that drunk!

That's how girls get raped!

If that's even a possibility.

Hey, yes!

Jesus Christ!

You're being a real asshole!

Vivian hooked up with Adam.

She told me.

What?

She came by looking for you the other day.

She said you refused to talk to her.

And so she needed somebody to talk to.

And she talked to you?

Not everybody hates talking to me.

Look, didn't you sort of end things with him?

Come on, you're gonna throw away a good friendship

for some guy whose cheekbones could cut granite?

Hi.

Hi.

So, why didn't you tell me?

Tell you what?

About, like, not being able to have sex.

What?

Like, you don't have a vagina or something.

How... how do you know that?

VIVIAN: Like, a couple of people texted me about it,

but, I mean, I didn't really understand.

Like, obviously, you have a vagina.

Umm, uh, no... sort of.

Okay, um...

This is none of anyone's business, okay?

- VIVIAN: Okay. - Even if it were true...

(Sobs)

Oh, okay...

Um... um, I mean okay.

Okay, you... you must have told someone, right?

(Breathes heavily)

VIVIAN: Wait. Okay, so who were you hanging out with?

Was it, like, that...

was it that guy at the party?

Wait, Lind... Lindy!

Wait, Lindy!

LINDY: Mom! Mom, I really need my phone, okay?

RITA: Hon... honey, what's wrong?

I just really need you to get my phone, okay?

- (Sobs) - RITA: Okay, okay!

You know, I'll get it.

Can you just tell me what's wrong?

Can you give the fucking phone?

Please, I need the phone.

(Cries)

- Here you go. - Why'd you put in the oven?

Oh, my God, pick up, pick up.

GREG: Yeah?

Did I tell you anything, like, personal last night?

GREG: Oh, God.

Uh, I took mushrooms last night, Lindy.

Did you tell anyone?

GREG: I'm so sorry, I might have. I, um, I was really wasted.

I'm sorry, Lindy.

I... I... I...

(Cries)

RITA: Oh, honey, oh, honey...

LINDY: Please leave me.

I can't...

(Cries)

Oh, fuck!

(Door knocking)

Brought you some tea.

People know.

Honey.

(Sighs)

Can I show you something?

Mm-hmm.

RITA: I hate this, too.

LINDY: Does it hurt?

Not anymore.

But hiding it does... a lot.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone.

RITA: I wasn't alone.

I wasn't alone.

(Indistinct chatter)

Hey.

Hi.

VIVIAN: You doing okay?

Yeah.

Okay. Well, I just want you to know

that I'm here if you wanna talk.

But I also totally get it if you don't.

Thank you.

Hey, good luck at the meet today.

Thanks.

I'm actually pretty nervous.

I, like, already threw up today and

my mom's gone on this business trip,

so... whatever.

You deserve it.

Thanks.

See you later.

Hey, um... take this.

And this.

Can you smell me?

(Chuckles) No.

- VIVIAN: Bye. - Bye.

♪ I spent my whole life running away ♪

♪ I spent my whole life ♪

♪ I spent my whole life ♪

♪ I spent my whole life running away ♪

BOY 1: She can't have sex.

♪ I spent my whole life ♪

♪ I spent my whole life ♪

ANNOUNCER: Next up, we have the national

qualifying women 100-meter sprint.

STUDENT 3: Go, Viv!

That's your girl?

So, how's it going with you, man?

You guys all right?

ANNOUNCER: To the starting line, please.

You getting pussy.

♪ No I think I kind of like you ♪

♪ Like you better ♪

STUDENT 4: Oh, my God. Okay, it's starting.

ANNOUNCER: On your marks.

Get set.

(Cheering)

Well done, Bitch!

Whoo!

Yes! I did it!

Go Viv!

VIVIAN: No one believed in baby girl.

Which is the nickname that I gave myself.

But she won.

Thank you.

Hey.

Oh, thank you.

LINDY: Congratulations.

You were so amazing.

DOUG: You crushed it.

And you lookin' super fine in those shorts.

Um, can you, like, not right now?

It's not about the shorts, Doug.

Whoa, you and your friend with no pussy getting all testy?

(Chuckles)

Shut the fuck up, Doug.

Makes sense why Adam would try to fuck you instead.

ADAM: Bro, what the fuck?

VIVIAN: What the fuck is wrong with you, bro?

ADAM: Goddammit, man.

Don't fucking say shit like that, man.

I wasn't trying to fuck her.

Lindy!

(Lindy cries)

I just need to be alone right now.

(Cries)

Lindy, Lindy, fuck those guys!

(Lindy sobs)

I told them it was me.

I was, like, she was drunk at the party

and obviously, whoever you told

didn't know that you were talking about me.

What, wait? You guys had sex.

You and Doug.

Nope, we didn't.

I've never had sex. I literally lied.

What? Why?

I don't know. I just, like, chickened out.

And I liked that you thought it was cool, and that, like,

I knew something that you didn't for once.

And also I think my labia are too long.

Your labia are fine.

Probably.

- VIVIAN: Really? - Yeah.

I can check for you if you want.

VIVIAN: Thanks.

And, like, also just so you know,

like, Adam did come to my house

and he came to ask about you.

And, like,

he was weirdly, like, crying and, like, hugging me,

and it was, like, really random

and he got, like, super hot last summer,

and I fucked up and I did kiss him.

Which was really fucked up of me.

And I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry.

I'm, like, seriously sorry.

(Sighs)

Let's go.

VIVIAN: Okay.

Why are we, like, walking with a purpose right now?

And why are you breathing like that?

LINDY: It's not Vivian who has no pussy.

GIRL 1: What?

If you wanna know, I have a birth condition

where I was born with some things missing,

which frankly the details of which

are none of your fucking business.

I actually have had sex.

'Cause you know what?

There's more to it

than shoving your half hard dick into someone's vagina.

VIVIAN: Yeah.

Most of you don't even know where a clit is.

(Vivian chuckles)

Dougie, I bet you've never even made a girl cum.

- (Students chuckle) - Okay, whatever.

Hi, uh, can anyone raise their hand

if Doug has made them cum?

You've never made me cum, ever.

I'm literally so fucking tired

of hurting myself to make room in my life

and my literal vagina for...

everyone but myself.

You can all post a little TikTok of this epic meltdown

or cancel me or whatever you wanna do.

This is all my worst nightmare, so, uh, now I'm free I guess.

Bye!

- GREG: Yeah, bitch! - STUDENT 5: Later! Yeah!

STUDENT 6: Whoo, fly free.

Okay, that was fucking amazing. What now?

I really hurt someone and I have to apologize.

VIVIAN: So, are you gonna tell me why you're doing this

or...

We hooked up and then I wouldn't kiss them in person,

because I was embarrassed what people would think.

I acted like a complete dick.

And they're so fucking awesome.

So, did you apologize to them?

LINDY: I texted them.

This has been the worst fucking few months of my life.

I didn't want to be alive anymore.

Phew.

I'm pissed and sad I can't have a kid.

(Cries)

I'm pissed I can't complain about my period

and ask some girl to give me a tampon

and have her smile in that, like, knowing way.

I'm pissed at the lady at the grocery store

that had a shirt that said,

"Anything you can do, I can do bleeding."

I'm pissed my mom can't control anything in her life,

but me.

I'm pissed I don't have a dad to tell me

some guy is gonna call me his "princess"

or some toxic shit like that.

(Cries)

Like, how do you even grieve something

you've never even had in the first place, you know?

It was, like, my body betrayed me,

so I was just gonna betray it back.

I was, like, okay, sorry.

I'm sorry.

- LINDY: It's okay. - VIVIAN: Fuck, I didn't know.

I know.

(Chuckles) You're gonna squeeze my head off.

(Chuckles)

VIVIAN: Sorry, I just love you.

LINDY: Let's go.

VIVIAN: Let's go, princess.

(Lindy giggles)

(Door opens)

Hi Lindy, I'm Doctor Aranda.

Nice to see you again.

LINDY: Hi.

DR. ARANDA: Dr. Doheny has the flu, so I'm filling in.

I was reading your chart and it looks like

you were diagnosed with MRKH a few months ago,

and started using dilators right away,

is that correct?

Yeah.

I also read in your chart

that you wanted a surgical consultation.

Okay.

Well, I'm not sure what your conversations

with Dr. Doheny were,

but there's no rush with any of these options,

if they're even what you want to be doing, okay?

I could do a pelvic exam

to see how the dilation has been going

or we can pick it up another time.

Uh, actually, another time would be great.

Thank you.

Sounds good.

And, just so you know,

nothing about you needs to be fixed.

(Chuckles)

Can you pass on a message to Dr. Doheny for me?

DR. ARANDA: Of course.

♪ The renaissance has just begun ♪

(Chuckles)

- Thank you. - ♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪

♪ Bit by bit, inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Hard to play ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪ ♪ with ash-covered hands ♪

♪ At the very least, I understand ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪

♪ Bit by bit ♪

♪ And inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ I understand ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ I understand ♪

♪ Bit by bit, we're inching closer ♪

♪ I understand ♪

You look good!

Thanks.

What are you doing?

LINDY: Sorry, like, do you have perfume on?

Yes. Is it too much?

No, you smell really good.

I have a date.

You're gonna have the best time.

I hope he makes you feel like the hottest...

(Chuckles)

Goth bitch that you already are.

You're a MILF.

I'm a MILF?

I'm a MILF.

LINDY: Yeah, you are.

Bye.

(Both chuckle)

(Door closes)

(Phone dings)

(Sighing)

*** Subtitles by dylux ***

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination, life is your creation ♪

♪ I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world ♪

♪ Dress me up, make it tight ♪

♪ I'm your dolly ♪

♪ You're my doll, rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ Feel the glamour in pink ♪

♪ Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky ♪

♪ You can touch ♪

♪ You can play ♪

♪ You can say, "I'm always yours" ♪

♪ Ooh, oh ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination, life is your creation ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world ♪

♪ Life in plastic, it's fantastic ♪

♪ You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere ♪

♪ Imagination, life is your creation ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah yeah ♪

♪ Come on, Barbie, let's go party ♪

♪ Ooh oh, ooh oh ♪

♪ The renaissance has just begun ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪

♪ Bit by bit ♪

♪ Inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Hard to play with ash-covered hands ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪

♪ Bit by bit ♪

♪ We're inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ At the very least, I understand ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ Than it is to calm the sea ♪

♪ I understand ♪

♪ Bit by bit ♪

♪ And inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ I understand ♪

♪ Harder to put out a candle ♪

♪ I understand ♪

♪ Bit by bit ♪

♪ And inching closer ♪

♪ Feel this unrelentingly ♪

♪ I understand ♪