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1
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:17,940
(LAUGHS)
2
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:18,140
So a good night was had by all?
(LAUGHS)
3
00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,380
So a good night was had by all?
4
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,940
(SIGHS) Yeah. Sorry, Mum.
5
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:25,900
I was gonna call you and let you know
I wasn't coming home, but it got...
6
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,660
..late.
7
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:27,860
What's the lucky lady's name, then?
..late.
8
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,100
What's the lucky lady's name, then?
9
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:33,540
I wouldn't say she was lucky.
(SHAKES CAN)
10
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:33,780
I wouldn't say she was lucky.
(SHAKES CAN)
(SPRAYS)
11
00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:36,580
(SPRAYS)
12
00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:44,700
Don't go in there.
13
00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:48,700
Coffee?
14
00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,420
ARTHUR: Mum!
15
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,940
A dead naked man.
16
00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,260
Yes, in Mum's bed!
17
00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:07,820
Why would I joke about that, Robbie?
18
00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:09,020
MAGGIE: I'm innocent, Robbie!
19
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:09,260
The only thing I'm guilty of
MAGGIE: I'm innocent, Robbie!
20
00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:13,100
The only thing I'm guilty of
is being too hot to handle.
21
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:16,500
No, I don't know his name.
I'm looking now.
22
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:16,740
(SIGHS)
No, I don't know his name.
I'm looking now.
23
00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:18,140
(SIGHS)
24
00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:20,340
Yes, he's definitely dead.
25
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:20,580
(FLATULENCE)
Oh!
Yes, he's definitely dead.
26
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,860
(FLATULENCE)
Oh!
27
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:25,300
Oh! Oh, thank God.
28
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:25,500
Oh! Oh, thank God.
He's alive. He just farted.
29
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,340
He's alive. He just farted.
30
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:31,500
What?! Even when you're dead?
31
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,220
Oh, that's gross.
32
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,620
Alright. (SIGHS)
33
00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:38,500
His name is Lawrence Porter,
34
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:38,740
and he's the president of the Cactus
His name is Lawrence Porter,
35
00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:44,020
and he's the president of the Cactus
and Succulent Appreciation Society.
36
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,380
He was not delivering our mother
a succulent.
37
00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:50,660
Well, I didn't see him come in
'cause I wasn't here last night.
38
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:51,780
I was with a...
39
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:53,060
..girl.
40
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:58,580
No! Not good for me, Robbie,
bad for me. Very bad for me, OK?
41
00:01:58,580 --> 00:01:58,820
No! Not good for me, Robbie,
I...
42
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,220
I...
43
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,940
..I didn't bring my A-game at all.
44
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:07,980
Yeah, fine.
I'll make all the necessary calls.
45
00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,660
Leave it to me, as always.
46
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,820
Bye.
47
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:12,900
(CALL DISCONNECTS)
(SIGHS)
48
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,180
(FLATULENCE)
49
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:23,100
Oh, I need you
to turn the gas on for me, Arthur.
50
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,780
Oh! Don't bother, Mum.
51
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,420
I've listened
to enough crime podcasts to know
52
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,860
that blaming this on a house fire
is not gonna work.
53
00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:31,100
I need to make myself a final meal
54
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:35,620
before they send me to prison
charged with sex crimes.
55
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,900
Mum, he was a 70-year-old man
56
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:37,140
with a bad heart
Mum, he was a 70-year-old man
57
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,620
with a bad heart
and high blood pressure, OK?
58
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:38,860
with a bad heart
This is not your fault.
59
00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:40,020
This is not your fault.
60
00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:44,140
I should never have fed him
that blanched okra with lemon juice.
61
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:45,860
It's very potent.
62
00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,260
It sent him wild.
63
00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:49,860
Oh! OK.
64
00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:50,100
We are currently operating
Oh! OK.
65
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,500
We are currently operating
on a need-to-know basis,
66
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:57,580
and all I NEED to know is which
of his family members to contact.
67
00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,500
Well, he's a widower
with no children.
68
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,660
Was.
69
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,860
Hm. (TUTS)
70
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,460
All alone in the world.
71
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:05,700
(SIGHS)
All alone in the world.
72
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,300
(SIGHS)
MAGGIE: Just like me.
73
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:11,220
At least he went out with a bang.
(GAS HISSES)
74
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:11,460
At least he went out with a bang.
I mean... (SIGHS)
75
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,940
I mean... (SIGHS)
76
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:19,700
..I wish you'd told me that you were
getting back into the dating scene.
77
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:19,940
..I wish you'd told me that you were
What?
78
00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:21,100
What?
79
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:21,340
You think I don't need to feel
What?
80
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:25,900
You think I don't need to feel
the warmth of another human, Arthur?
81
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,100
I mean,
you spent YOUR night with a lover.
82
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:29,340
I mean,
What's the difference?
83
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:30,940
What's the difference?
84
00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:32,780
Difference is
85
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:37,660
you having
wild, heart-stopping sex, and I'm...
86
00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:37,900
you having
..putting people to sleep.
87
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,140
..putting people to sleep.
88
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:48,060
ROBBIE: And I thought
I was having a bad day.
89
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,740
Are you sure
he doesn't have SOME family?
90
00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:50,900
ARTHUR: Apparently not.
91
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,380
I called the Succulent Society
and left a message on the machine
92
00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,220
with my condolences, just in case.
93
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:55,460
And it ISN'T being treated
with my condolences, just in case.
94
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,140
And it ISN'T being treated
as suspicious?
95
00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:57,380
And it ISN'T being treated
Oh! Arthur's a stool pigeon.
96
00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:59,620
Oh! Arthur's a stool pigeon.
97
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,700
He called the police on me.
98
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,300
ARTHUR: I called the ambulance.
99
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,460
The ambulance called the police.
The police called the coroner.
100
00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:09,140
And the coroner called a bird,
and the bird called a spider,
101
00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,180
and the spider called a fly.
102
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,220
It's like that nursery rhyme -
103
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,020
"There was an old woman
who swallowed a fly.
104
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:15,260
"There was an old woman
"Perhaps she'll die."
105
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,180
"Perhaps she'll die."
106
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:21,300
That must have been
shocking for you, Mum.
107
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:21,540
That must have been
(SIGHS)
108
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,300
(SIGHS)
109
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,980
I'll never forget his last words.
110
00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,580
Well?
111
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,020
Well what?
112
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,300
What were his last words?
113
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,260
I can't remember!
114
00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:43,500
ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest
I can't remember!
115
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,900
ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest
and put your feet up.
116
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:46,140
ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest
You've had a shocker.
117
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,460
You've had a shocker.
118
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,060
I'll do the dishes.
119
00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,980
No, no, no. You're a busy doctor.
120
00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:52,740
You should not be doing drudge work.
121
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,220
You're right.
122
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:55,460
Arthur will do it.
123
00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,660
What? What?
124
00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:58,020
Just...
125
00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:58,260
..take a rest
Just...
126
00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:00,300
..take a rest
and go watch the telly.
127
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:00,540
..take a rest
Take your mind off of it all.
128
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,460
Take your mind off of it all.
129
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,940
Off you pop.
MAGGIE: Thank you, Robbie.
130
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,180
We need to protect her
AND ourselves.
131
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,740
She needs to sign this.
132
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,340
Oh, I'm sorry,
do you have a printer in there?
133
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:19,420
They're power-of-attorney papers
from my lawyer's office.
134
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,900
Oh, OK, cool - so while I was
dealing with dead bodies,
135
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,260
you were just getting these
drafted up.
136
00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:22,500
you were just getting these
No, when you called this morning,
137
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,380
No, when you called this morning,
138
00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:23,620
I just happened to be seeking
No, when you called this morning,
139
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,980
I just happened to be seeking
some legal advice.
140
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:26,220
I just happened to be seeking
Killed two birds with one stone.
141
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:27,980
Killed two birds with one stone.
142
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:29,860
Really?
Mmm.
143
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,340
What was the other bird?
144
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,100
Oh, just some little problem
I'm ironing out
145
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:33,340
Oh, just some little problem
with a penoplasty that went wrong.
146
00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:35,540
with a penoplasty that went wrong.
147
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,740
Mmm. The old shaft graft.
148
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:41,540
I mean, the length was fine, but
the girth, it didn't quite work out.
149
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:41,780
I mean, the length was fine, but
Eugh. Poor guy.
150
00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:43,180
Eugh. Poor guy.
151
00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:45,020
Poor guy?!
152
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,860
If I get sued, I'm gonna be
the successful lesbian surgeon
153
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:48,100
If I get sued, I'm gonna be
who got undone by a penis.
154
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,340
who got undone by a penis.
155
00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,860
(LAUGHS)
156
00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:53,460
Speaking of undone,
157
00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:55,860
what happened with last night?
158
00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,260
I haven't been with anyone since Dee.
159
00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,980
I'm not match-fit.
160
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:03,540
Honestly,
it was such a bad performance.
161
00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:07,060
I was like a newborn horse
learning how to walk.
162
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:07,300
I was like a newborn horse
(SIGHS)
163
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,220
(SIGHS)
164
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,260
I even pulled out the special moves.
165
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,060
No straight man has special moves.
166
00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:13,020
I got special moves.
167
00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:15,300
I got the most special moves.
168
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,620
Just when I thought I was...
169
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,500
..making way...
170
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,340
..she fell asleep.
171
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:20,580
Just like the president
..she fell asleep.
172
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,660
Just like the president
of the Succulent Society.
173
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,660
(LAUGHS)
174
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:30,820
(DOORBELL RINGS)
175
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,420
(DOOR OPENS)
176
00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:36,740
(DOOR CLOSES)
177
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,980
The Cactus and Succulent
Appreciation Society
178
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:42,220
The Cactus and Succulent
must have got your message.
179
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:43,940
must have got your message.
180
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,780
Look at what they sent me.
181
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,180
(TUTS) Oh!
182
00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:52,020
Such a beautiful reminder
of Lawrence.
183
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,860
(SIGHS)
184
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:01,460
You just want to get your hands
on the house.
185
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,300
Power of attorney
wasn't MY idea, Mum.
186
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,620
Oh, you expect me to believe
it was your sister's idea?
187
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,900
(SIGHS)
Honestly, she's got a family.
188
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,820
She's got a job.
189
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,580
She's got prospects, Arthur.
190
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:13,380
Where are YOUR prospects?
191
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:15,700
Excuse me! I have prospects.
192
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,540
Well, from what I overheard
the other morning,
193
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:17,780
Well, from what I overheard
it doesn't seem like your prospects
194
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,500
it doesn't seem like your prospects
195
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,540
are very prospective.
196
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,780
Who were you canoodling?
197
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:27,100
I hope it was that Maya,
from dancing.
198
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,500
Tony the grocer's daughter.
199
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,980
Oh, tell me
it was Tony the grocer's daughter!
200
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,300
It wasn't Maya, OK?
201
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:33,540
Her name was Blodwyn,
It wasn't Maya, OK?
202
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,020
Her name was Blodwyn,
if you must know.
203
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:36,260
Her name was Blodwyn,
Blodwyn?
204
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:37,300
Blodwyn?
205
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,260
Sounds like a medical condition.
206
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,260
Mum!
207
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,460
She's Welsh.
208
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:41,700
And FYI, I'm not interested in
She's Welsh.
209
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,980
And FYI, I'm not interested in
brief interactions like that anymore.
210
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:45,220
And FYI, I'm not interested in
In fact, I'm gonna delete my apps.
211
00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:46,620
In fact, I'm gonna delete my apps.
212
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,460
Ugh...
(GASPS) Arthur!
213
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:51,380
Look! Our restaurant's open.
214
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,020
Delete...
215
00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:55,100
..delete...
216
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,220
..delete.
217
00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,620
Oh! Definitely deleting that one.
218
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,620
What was that...
219
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,260
Mum?
220
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:07,940
Mum!
221
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:09,380
(HORNS HONK)
Whoa! Whoa!
222
00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:09,620
(HORNS HONK)
(EXCLAIMS)
223
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:10,980
(EXCLAIMS)
224
00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:22,060
Leo?
225
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,340
Oh, hi, Maggie.
226
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:27,140
Did you just call me Leo?
227
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,900
Tony! (LAUGHS)
228
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:29,900
No! No.
229
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,140
I said 'helleo'.
230
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:36,020
As in 'hello'
with an extra syllable.
231
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:36,820
Oh.
232
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,820
I was expecting someone
from the local paper.
233
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:45,020
We have bought a full-page ad to get
a full house for our grand opening.
234
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,540
(LAUGHS)
235
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:51,100
Maybe, uh, warn me next time
you want me to play Frogger. (LAUGHS)
236
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:51,340
Maybe, uh, warn me next time
Hey, Tony.
237
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:52,820
Hey, Tony.
238
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:53,620
Hi.
239
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,780
I'm so glad that you're both here.
240
00:08:55,780 --> 00:09:00,060
I need to ask the code
to the wall safe.
241
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,780
Yeah. Yeah, no, I understand.
242
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,380
Um, you know.
243
00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:06,340
Mum, can you give Tony
the wall safe code?
244
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,820
I have no idea.
245
00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:10,060
What are they doing
to your father's restaurant?
I have no idea.
246
00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,740
What are they doing
to your father's restaurant?
247
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:12,540
Oh, Mum!
248
00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:13,700
Arthur!
I was gonna...
249
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:13,940
Arthur!
I was gonna...
Hey!
250
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:15,620
Hey!
251
00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,580
Hi, Maggie.
252
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:18,620
Getting a...sneak peek?
253
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,420
Oh, yes.
254
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,980
A sneak peek into hell,
255
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:29,020
starring Judas and Jezebel
and the devil himself.
256
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:29,260
starring Judas and Jezebel
(ARTHUR SIGHS)
257
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,220
(ARTHUR SIGHS)
258
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:30,460
Mum, just give Tony
(ARTHUR SIGHS)
259
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:33,540
Mum, just give Tony
the wall safe code.
260
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:33,780
Mum, just give Tony
What wall safe?
261
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:35,260
What wall safe?
262
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,700
My memory is shot.
263
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,340
TONY: Come on, Maggie.
264
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:43,300
You remember every step
of the cha-cha last week.
265
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:43,540
You remember every step
It was the merengue, Tony.
266
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,300
It was the merengue, Tony.
267
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:45,540
And it'll be the last merengue
It was the merengue, Tony.
268
00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:48,860
And it'll be the last merengue
you'll be seeing from me!
269
00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:49,100
And it'll be the last merengue
Let's go, Arthur.
270
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,980
Let's go, Arthur.
271
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,220
OK, Mum.
272
00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:55,220
Um...
273
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,460
..Dad used to keep all his codes
in a little black book.
274
00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:00,740
I'll...find it for you.
275
00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:03,140
(MOUTHS)
276
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,380
No, Mum, now. Let's go.
277
00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:11,820
I know you remember the code, Mum.
278
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,060
And the reason I know
279
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:13,300
is because you always refuse to admit
And the reason I know
280
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,660
is because you always refuse to admit
when you can't remember something,
281
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:18,620
so the fact you're saying you can't
means you can.
282
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:18,860
so the fact you're saying you can't
Yes, well, you're the one
283
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:19,620
Yes, well, you're the one
284
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:19,860
who's always telling me
Yes, well, you're the one
285
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,660
who's always telling me
my memory is gone, Arthur.
286
00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:25,740
Now you expect me to remember
some long-ago code.
287
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:25,980
Now you expect me to remember
Make up your mind.
288
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:26,780
Make up your mind.
289
00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:27,020
You're just annoyed that it's not me
Make up your mind.
290
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,260
You're just annoyed that it's not me
taking over Dad's restaurant.
291
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,220
That's all this is about.
292
00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:31,700
No, it's not.
293
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,060
My brain has gone to mush.
294
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,540
I don't even know
if you're my son anymore.
295
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,460
The son I remember
would do anything he could
296
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,700
to keep
the memory of his father alive.
297
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,100
Oh, hold up.
298
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,380
Well, if your brain's turned to mush
and you don't know who I am,
299
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:49,420
then you have no reason to refuse
signing the power-of-attorney papers.
300
00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:49,660
then you have no reason to refuse
Ha-ha! Got ya!
301
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,900
Ha-ha! Got ya!
302
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,500
Oh, no! What's she doing here?
303
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:56,180
Um...
304
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,580
..you know what,
maybe you were right.
305
00:10:57,580 --> 00:10:57,820
..you know what,
Let's not rush into this.
306
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,740
Let's not rush into this.
307
00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:58,980
Uh, maybe you need a bit more time
Let's not rush into this.
308
00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,860
Uh, maybe you need a bit more time
to think about it. (LAUGHS)
309
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,100
Uh, maybe you need a bit more time
What's got into you?
310
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,260
What's got into you?
311
00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:03,660
Huh? Nothing!
312
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:04,940
Now, come on. This way.
313
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:06,780
Hey, we'll come back another day.
(GASPS)
314
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:07,020
Hey, we'll come back another day.
Blodwyn!
315
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:08,420
Blodwyn!
316
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,100
Where have I heard that name before?
317
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,700
You haven't, OK? Now, let's...
318
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:11,940
Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who
You haven't, OK? Now, let's...
319
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:15,620
Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who
fell asleep on you the other night,
320
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:15,860
Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who
she's got a big wake-up call coming.
321
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,900
she's got a big wake-up call coming.
322
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,380
(BELL RINGS)
Oh, no, Mum. Please, don't!
323
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,820
Oh, you must be Mrs Boye.
324
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:26,740
Oh, and you must be
very well rested.
325
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,740
(DOOR OPENS)
(ARTHUR SIGHS)
326
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:29,940
Hi. (LAUGHS)
327
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,180
Yeah.
(BLODWYN LAUGHS)
328
00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:31,420
Yeah.
Arthur. Blodwyn.
329
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,180
Arthur. Blodwyn.
330
00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:33,420
Well, I mean, what a coincidence.
Arthur. Blodwyn.
331
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,900
Well, I mean, what a coincidence.
I didn't know that you worked here.
332
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:36,140
Well, I mean, what a coincidence.
Um...yes, you did.
333
00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,900
Um...yes, you did.
334
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:41,060
I...I...I mentioned it, lots,
335
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:44,020
the other night.
336
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:47,740
You asked if you could
legally sue your local supermarket
337
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:51,380
for suggesting a barbeque chicken
has EIGHT servings.
338
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,060
Oh, yeah.
339
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,100
BLODWYN: Yeah.
340
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,820
To be fair,
341
00:11:56,820 --> 00:12:00,060
no-one has ever ordered
a one-eighth chicken and chips.
342
00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,980
You know? It's always quarters.
343
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,460
I understand you're here
to sign some documents.
344
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,220
I certainly am.
345
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:12,740
But more importantly,
my boy deserves a second chance.
346
00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:13,900
Oh!
347
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,140
MAGGIE: Oh, you should have seen him
348
00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:18,380
when he first worked
the cash register at our restaurant.
349
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:18,620
when he first worked
Oh!
350
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,420
Oh!
351
00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:19,660
Mashing his fingers
Oh!
352
00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:22,980
Mashing his fingers
across those buttons
353
00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:26,100
like a giant
playing a miniature keyboard.
354
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:26,340
like a giant
We...we might come back another day.
355
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:27,700
We...we might come back another day.
356
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:27,940
(LAUGHS)
We...we might come back another day.
357
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:31,180
(LAUGHS)
But eventually, he got better at it.
358
00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:34,260
And by the time
he was at university,
359
00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:34,500
And by the time
he could barely look at the register
360
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,620
he could barely look at the register
361
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,100
and cha-ching!
362
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,340
I think... (LAUGHS) Yes. Yes.
363
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:43,740
Come on! Mum. Come on. (LAUGHS)
364
00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:44,620
I am...
(BELL RINGS)
365
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:44,860
I am...
..I'm sorry.
366
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:45,660
..I'm sorry.
367
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,660
She is unwell.
368
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:48,940
Bye.
369
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:51,500
(LAUGHS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
370
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:55,220
And now we have to find a new
solicitor to witness your signature,
371
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,460
because I'm never showing my face
at that office ever again!
372
00:12:58,460 --> 00:12:58,700
because I'm never showing my face
Where is Dad's little black book?
373
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,260
Where is Dad's little black book?
374
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,020
I have no idea.
375
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,220
(SIGHS)
376
00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:09,740
Oh, I'm sure the code to the
wall safe is someone's birthday or...
377
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,140
..Lotto numbers or something.
378
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,180
Oh.
379
00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:17,260
That bar, Arthur,
the one Tony was manhandling,
380
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:21,260
your father built that with
his own hands in this very backyard.
381
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:21,500
your father built that with
What if they just
382
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,780
What if they just
383
00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,940
throw it on a skip,
384
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,740
like it's some piece of rubbish?
385
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,660
Oh, not that YOU'D care.
386
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:31,820
You're so hot to trot for that Maya.
387
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:32,060
Excuse me! I'm not hot to trot
You're so hot to trot for that Maya.
388
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,580
Excuse me! I'm not hot to trot
for anyone. I'm not trotting at all.
389
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:38,900
I'm one bad date away
from being sent to the glue factory.
390
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:39,140
I'm one bad date away
Now, where is that black book?!
391
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:41,820
Now, where is that black book?!
392
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,940
(SIGHS)
393
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,340
I'm sorry, Mum.
394
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:54,220
I should have said something about
what was happening at the restaurant.
395
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:54,460
I should have said something about
(SIGHS)
396
00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:55,220
(SIGHS)
397
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:55,460
Is there any way
(SIGHS)
398
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,220
Is there any way
I can make it up to you?
399
00:13:57,220 --> 00:14:02,060
Well, it's about keeping the spirit
of your father in our hearts.
400
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:02,300
Well, it's about keeping the spirit
In our minds.
401
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,060
In our minds.
402
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,260
In our mouths.
403
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:12,500
Why don't you cook something for me,
just like he used to?
404
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,340
(SIGHS WITH RELIEF)
405
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,860
I am so glad
you're referring to his food.
406
00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:16,100
I am so glad
Um...
407
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,540
Um...
408
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,340
..I can do that.
409
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:19,500
That's fine.
410
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,980
But if I do, you have to promise
411
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:21,220
to let this
But if I do, you have to promise
412
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,060
to let this
whole restaurant thing go, yeah?
413
00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:23,300
to let this
I've forgotten it already.
414
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,140
I've forgotten it already.
415
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,740
Mush brain.
416
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,540
(LAUGHS)
417
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:31,340
Oh. There's not much food
in the fridge, though, Arthur.
418
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:31,580
Oh. There's not much food
Oh.
419
00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,620
Oh.
420
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:32,860
I'll hit the store.
Oh.
421
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,260
I'll hit the store.
Yeah.
422
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,420
You stay here.
Read a book or something.
423
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:36,660
You stay here.
Oh, good idea.
424
00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:38,020
Oh, good idea.
425
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,900
I've got just the book in mind.
426
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,940
(BOTH LAUGH)
427
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:43,460
(DOOR OPENS)
428
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:45,300
(DOOR CLOSES)
429
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,260
(BEEPING)
430
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,900
Hello?
431
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,300
Is that the advertising department?
432
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,820
It's Maya here
from the Soc Beo restaurant.
433
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:07,900
I'm afraid we're going to have to
cancel our ad for opening night.
434
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,380
Mmm.
435
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,940
Haven't found Dad's codes yet.
(BEEPING)
436
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:17,220
But I wrote some numbers on a piece
of paper that I think might work.
Haven't found Dad's codes yet.
(BEEPING)
437
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,460
But I wrote some numbers on a piece
of paper that I think might work.
438
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:20,700
But I wrote some numbers on a piece
of paper that I think might work.
Oh. Thanks.
439
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,020
Oh. Thanks.
440
00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,820
My birthday's in there.
441
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,060
Oh. Well, I will be sure
My birthday's in there.
442
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,220
Oh. Well, I will be sure
to remember it.
443
00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:27,460
Oh. Well, I will be sure
Oi! You!
444
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,260
Oi! You!
445
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,220
You can get out of my shop!
446
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,140
Sorry?
447
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,780
Someone pretending to be Maya
called the newspaper
448
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:36,780
to cancel our ad
for the grand opening.
449
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,020
And they copy the number
from the screen,
450
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:39,260
And they copy the number
and I check out delivery database.
451
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:40,740
and I check out delivery database.
452
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,500
It was your mother!
What?
453
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,060
Don't know what you're talking about.
Nothing for you.
454
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,820
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
Dad, Dad, Dad, calm down.
455
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:47,060
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
No okra for your family!
456
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,260
No okra for your family!
457
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,460
Get your vegetables somewhere else!
458
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,860
What? Hey!
459
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,660
OK. It's all here.
460
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,300
Half a kilo of okra
and a bag of lemons.
461
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:02,540
Half a kilo of okra
Oh. Hey. Look, I'm so sorry.
462
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,780
Oh. Hey. Look, I'm so sorry.
463
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,020
I can't believe Mum did that. I mean,
who knows what she's capable of?
464
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,260
Dad's not normally so volatile.
465
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,500
You know, he's really worried
about the restaurant, and...
466
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,780
..it's a huge risk, and so...
467
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,260
..his blood pressure's up to here.
468
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,860
TONY: Maya! Maya!
469
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:16,060
Damn, that's him!
470
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:19,860
On, no! Here, quick. Thank you.
OK.
471
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,220
Oh, Arthur, wait!
472
00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:22,940
It's, uh, my phone number.
473
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,740
In case you find
the actual code to the safe.
474
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:29,140
TONY: Maya!
475
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,340
Save yourself!
Yeah!
476
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,540
It's a crime, Mum.
477
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:40,460
One minute, we're explaining to the
cops about the dead man in your bed
478
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,060
and the next,
you're committing fraud.
479
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,580
Impersonating someone
is hardly fraud
480
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,100
compared to
calling yourself a restauranteur
481
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:47,340
compared to
when you're really a greengrocer.
482
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,580
when you're really a greengrocer.
483
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:50,780
Mum!
(DOOR CLOSES)
484
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:57,500
Mum. I gave you my credit card
details for emergencies.
485
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,860
Can you explain this?
486
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:01,580
Can you explain why you were
just passing through the suburbs
487
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:01,820
Can you explain why you were
on a weekday?
488
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:02,740
on a weekday?
489
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:02,980
Let me guess -
on a weekday?
490
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,460
Let me guess -
you're consulting door to door now
491
00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:04,700
Let me guess -
with your top buttons undone.
492
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,540
with your top buttons undone.
493
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:09,980
Shut up, Arthur.
494
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,220
There's an amount of $500
Shut up, Arthur.
495
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:13,020
There's an amount of $500
on my statement.
496
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:13,260
There's an amount of $500
Yes. It's a holding thingy.
497
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,980
Yes. It's a holding thingy.
498
00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:17,580
You'll get it back later, they said.
499
00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:18,380
Who is they?
500
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:22,340
I googled the company, Soc Beo,
and it means "Chubby Squirrel".
501
00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:25,140
Chubby Squirrel's a very cute name.
502
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,140
Wait, Soc Beo?
503
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,500
That's the name of Maya's restaurant.
504
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,180
Mum, what did you do?
505
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,380
I booked the whole restaurant out
for opening night.
506
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:38,380
It's gonna be a lonely little
squirrel when nobody shows up.
507
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,060
They're gonna charge me
the whole cancellation fee.
508
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:41,300
They're gonna charge me
What were you thinking?
509
00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:42,580
What were you thinking?
510
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,780
(GASPS)
511
00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:45,660
You little beauty!
512
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,740
This is no time to celebrate, Mum.
MAGGIE: No!
513
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:51,380
No, they were
Lawrence Porter's last words.
514
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:53,300
I've remembered.
515
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:57,460
"You little beauty!"
516
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:04,100
This proves she has no clue
how to manage money anymore.
517
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,420
Get her to sign the
power-of-attorney papers, Arthur.
518
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,300
(SIGHS)
519
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,300
(DOORBELL RINGS)
520
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,820
Succulents to the kitchen, please.
521
00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:27,380
I was just dropping food to Chong,
522
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,860
and I thought maybe
Maggie might like some as well.
523
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,500
But if you think
that's a bad idea...
524
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:35,820
If this is an attempt
to bribe the safe code out of me,
525
00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:36,060
If this is an attempt
you're out of luck.
526
00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,380
you're out of luck.
527
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,940
I'm going to speak to the goat.
528
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,980
Sorry.
529
00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:48,620
She's been in a nightmare mood. She
does not deserve that deliciousness.
530
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:48,860
She's been in a nightmare mood. She
(LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand.
531
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,620
(LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand.
532
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:51,860
If you don't mind, I actually
(LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand.
533
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:55,380
If you don't mind, I actually
came around for another reason.
534
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,780
Um...
535
00:18:58,780 --> 00:18:59,020
..what are you doing
Um...
536
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,860
..what are you doing
on Friday night?
537
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:01,100
..what are you doing
Whatever you want.
538
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:01,860
Whatever you want.
539
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,140
Oh!
540
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:03,380
Like, I've obviously got to check
Oh!
541
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:07,660
Like, I've obviously got to check
my schedule, 'cause it's heaps busy.
542
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:07,900
Like, I've obviously got to check
But, um...yeah. (LAUGHS)
543
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,260
But, um...yeah. (LAUGHS)
544
00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:13,500
I was hoping your mum would
come to our restaurant so she can...
545
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,300
Uh...
546
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,060
..you know, get a proper sense
of...our vision. (LAUGHS)
547
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:17,300
..you know, get a proper sense
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
548
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,260
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
549
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:18,500
Dad and I could cook her a meal,
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
550
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,220
Dad and I could cook her a meal,
and she could, you know,
551
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:24,140
see the integrity
that we want to bring to the space.
552
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,460
Also, we don't have
table and chairs yet,
553
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:29,740
so there's a DIY dance floor,
in case you want to cut some shapes.
554
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:33,940
What do you say?
555
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,500
I reckon it's a great idea.
556
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,700
I'll ask Mum.
557
00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,620
But I got to warn you,
558
00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:40,100
when she's saying no to free food,
things are pretty grim.
559
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,340
Oh! You're still here.
560
00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:43,460
Look.
561
00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:46,020
I'll dispose of those for you,
562
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,820
since nobody else wants them.
563
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:55,980
(LAUGHS)
564
00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:00,900
Don't complain about having to get
inferior vegetables, OK?
565
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,420
I am not driving 10 suburbs
for good produce
566
00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:05,660
just because
YOU refuse to apologise to Tony.
567
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:09,340
Oh! Lawrence Porter would have done
it for me in the blink of an eye.
568
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:11,100
Lawrence Porter's eyes
are never blinking again,
569
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:11,340
Lawrence Porter's eyes
so that's not an option, is it?
570
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:12,980
so that's not an option, is it?
571
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,900
Now, seeing as I've churned through
572
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:17,380
all three
of the Ghanaian recipes I know,
573
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:19,500
how about me and you
take our tastebuds
574
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,380
a little further abroad tonight?
575
00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,620
Maybe somewhere like Vietnam?
576
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,420
Oh! Forget it, Arthur.
577
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:27,180
If you think some dry grilled pork
578
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,100
is gonna get that safe code
out of me,
579
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:29,340
is gonna get that safe code
you got another think coming.
580
00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,700
you got another think coming.
581
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,940
Never, ever...
582
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,340
Oh! No!
583
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,140
Um...
584
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,700
(INAUDIBLE)
ARTHUR: Actually, you know what?
585
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,460
Why don't we...
why don't we go down this...
586
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:41,460
..this way for a change?
587
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,580
Yeah. It looks like a nice laneway.
588
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,020
MAYA: Hey!
589
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:45,820
Hi. (LAUGHS)
590
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:47,460
Hello, Maggie.
591
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,460
Hello.
Hey, Maya.
592
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:52,060
Hey.
You're friends with...Blodwyn?
593
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:52,300
Hey.
Yeah.
594
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,060
Yeah.
595
00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:54,260
Yeah. Yeah.
596
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:54,500
She really seemed to be in a rush
Yeah. Yeah.
597
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,500
She really seemed to be in a rush
to get somewhere just now.
598
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:57,740
She really seemed to be in a rush
I mean...I mean...
599
00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:58,500
I mean...I mean...
600
00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,980
..what were you guys talking about?
601
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:02,180
Oh, you know. This and that.
602
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,100
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
603
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,580
I mean,
good this and that or, like...
604
00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:06,860
..bad...
605
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,660
..clumsy this and that?
606
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:10,820
Did Arthur tell you about dinner?
607
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,700
Uh, yes. He did mention it.
608
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,380
MAYA: My dad's gonna be there,
609
00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:18,500
and I know that he would love
to have a dance with you after.
610
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:21,740
I'm...hoping you'll come along.
611
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,100
You know what?
612
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:28,940
I think I will.
613
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:36,220
ROBBIE:
OK, gang, let's get you guys home.
614
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:40,380
KEELAN: See you, Uncle Arthur.
MELODY: Bye, Uncle Arthur.
615
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:41,820
(LAUGHS)
616
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:46,100
Thank God I managed to cancel the
fake restaurant booking Mum made.
617
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,220
I told them
I had my credit card stolen,
618
00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:51,020
and the OWNER seemed super-annoyed.
619
00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,300
Mmm. I mean,
it is pretty unfair on them.
620
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,540
I got a refund.
That's all that counts.
621
00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:56,820
Why haven't you made
another appointment
622
00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:57,060
Why haven't you made
to get her signature on the papers?
623
00:21:57,060 --> 00:21:58,740
to get her signature on the papers?
624
00:21:58,740 --> 00:22:00,540
I don't want to use
our local solicitor, Robbie.
625
00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:03,060
Can we use yours?
At $300 an hour?
626
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,500
No way!
627
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,420
Listen.
628
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,820
We've all had bad sex, Arthur.
629
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:11,340
Don't let it cost you
our family home.
630
00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:14,500
Just make the call and bring Mum in
first thing Monday morning.
631
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:14,740
Just make the call and bring Mum in
Bye.
632
00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:16,180
Bye.
633
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,740
You two, get in the car.
634
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,380
(PHONE RINGS)
635
00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:26,980
Chuppa & Peele. Blodwyn speaking.
636
00:22:26,980 --> 00:22:28,060
How can I help?
637
00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:32,700
Hello?
638
00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:36,140
ARTHUR: Blodwyn. Blod...Blodwyn.
639
00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:37,940
It's...it's me.
640
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:39,380
Arthur.
641
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:41,020
OK.
642
00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:41,260
ARTHUR: Well,
OK.
643
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:44,780
ARTHUR: Well,
I just want to make an appointment,
644
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:48,020
uh, to witness a signature
for my mum, if that's OK.
645
00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:48,260
uh, to witness a signature
That is perfectly fine.
646
00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:49,900
That is perfectly fine.
647
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:50,140
And I also feel like
That is perfectly fine.
648
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:55,100
And I also feel like
I kinda need to...explain the...
649
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:55,340
And I also feel like
..bad sex...
650
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,580
..bad sex...
651
00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,620
..the other night.
652
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:00,700
Um...
653
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:03,180
..I need you to know, like,
that was not my A-game.
654
00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:03,420
..I need you to know, like,
Yeah?
655
00:23:03,420 --> 00:23:04,180
Yeah?
656
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:04,420
Like, that was...
Yeah?
657
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:06,940
Like, that was...
uh, that wasn't even my Z-game.
658
00:23:06,940 --> 00:23:10,180
Like, uh, I would need to invent
a whole new alphabet
659
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,620
to find a letter to assign
to how truly...
660
00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:15,580
..woeful that performance wa...
661
00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:16,700
I have to inform you,
662
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,900
this phone call is being recorded
for training purposes.
663
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:23,780
Um...no, um,
can you not, uh, record it?
664
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:24,020
Um...no, um,
Uh...uh, no.
665
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,060
Uh...uh, no.
666
00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:25,900
No, um...
667
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:27,820
..I...I do not permit!
668
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:29,420
(LAUGHS) Uh...
669
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:30,220
..jokes.
670
00:23:30,220 --> 00:23:33,060
Oh, Arthur,
I should be the one apologising.
671
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:33,300
Oh, Arthur,
(SIGHS)
672
00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:34,220
(SIGHS)
673
00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:34,460
Work has been so hectic
(SIGHS)
674
00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:36,100
Work has been so hectic
these last couple of months,
675
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,380
and I've been grinding myself
to the bone, and...
676
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:41,460
..well, I should have stayed home
the other night, but...
677
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:43,860
..I'm glad I pushed myself,
because...
678
00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:44,100
..I'm glad I pushed myself,
..well...
679
00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:45,020
..well...
680
00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:46,100
..this is gonna sound terrible,
681
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:46,340
but that was honestly
..this is gonna sound terrible,
682
00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:48,700
but that was honestly
the best sleep I've had in ages.
683
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:51,380
Um...
684
00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:52,380
..oh, you're welcome.
685
00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:53,380
(LAUGHS)
686
00:23:53,380 --> 00:23:55,900
BLODWYN: Oh, and as for...
687
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:56,140
..all the bits
BLODWYN: Oh, and as for...
688
00:23:56,140 --> 00:24:00,060
..all the bits
leading up to my teeny-tiny nap...
689
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:03,180
..I don't think
there's such a thing as good or bad.
690
00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:05,980
It's just about
finding someone you're in sync with.
691
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,140
I made an appointment
for Monday morning, Mum.
692
00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:14,620
(DOOR OPENS)
Mum?
693
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:17,660
Oh, hey!
(LAUGHS)
694
00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:19,900
ARTHUR: Holy moly! Look at you!
695
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,140
What's with the outfit?
696
00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:24,820
Well, I'm gonna be
dancing with Tony tonight,
697
00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:27,260
and with me looking like this,
698
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:29,860
he won't live to see sunrise.
699
00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:34,380
His last words will be
"Oh, you little beauty."
700
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:39,820
So you're planning
to seduce and kill Maya's dad
701
00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:40,060
So you're planning
with your gymnastic sexploits?
702
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:42,020
with your gymnastic sexploits?
703
00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:42,260
Oh, don't take all the poetry
with your gymnastic sexploits?
704
00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:44,500
Oh, don't take all the poetry
out of it.
705
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,860
Come on! Let's do this properly, Mum.
No excuses.
706
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,100
Come on! Let's do this properly, Mum.
Alright. Just hang on a minute.
707
00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:50,700
Alright. Just hang on a minute.
708
00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:52,980
(SIGHS)
709
00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,460
You'd better take this.
710
00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:04,060
For Maya, in case she falls asleep
halfway through...dinner.
711
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:04,300
For Maya, in case she falls asleep
Give me that!
712
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:05,500
Give me that!
713
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:06,540
You're not going!
714
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:10,300
I will go and let them all know
that you've lost your mind!
715
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:10,540
I will go and let them all know
If you say so, Arthur.
716
00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:12,100
If you say so, Arthur.
717
00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:12,340
I'll go and put my pyjamas on
If you say so, Arthur.
718
00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:17,420
I'll go and put my pyjamas on
and have a nice cup of tea, then.
719
00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:31,220
(SIGHS)
720
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:33,140
Mum sends her apologies.
721
00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:36,700
She wasn't feeling herself tonight.
722
00:25:39,860 --> 00:25:43,540
I'm going home to my pyjamas
and a cup of tea.
723
00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:47,500
Can't believe I hired my chef
for nothing.
724
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:50,540
(SIGHS)
725
00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:52,540
ARTHUR: I'm really sorry, Maya.
726
00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:54,100
You said
your dad has high blood pressure.
727
00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:54,340
You said
I was a bit worried my mum would...
728
00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:56,140
I was a bit worried my mum would...
729
00:25:56,140 --> 00:25:58,100
..well, set it off.
730
00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,580
(LAUGHS)
731
00:25:59,580 --> 00:26:02,780
All dressed up
and our plans in tatters.
732
00:26:02,780 --> 00:26:05,220
You went to so much trouble.
733
00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:06,780
(SIGHS)
734
00:26:07,740 --> 00:26:10,740
Well, now that you're here,
we shouldn't waste it.
735
00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:15,140
Shall we dance?
736
00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,460
(LAUGHS)
737
00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:23,620
(ELEGANT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
738
00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:29,420
(LAUGHS)
739
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:35,660
I'm guessing my lifetime ban
at the fruit shop still stands?
740
00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:35,900
I'm guessing my lifetime ban
Oh. Dad was already in a bad mood.
741
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:37,580
Oh. Dad was already in a bad mood.
742
00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:40,020
We had a single reservation
for opening night
743
00:26:40,020 --> 00:26:43,780
and, uh, they cancelled today, so...
744
00:26:43,780 --> 00:26:46,180
..he was really upset about that.
745
00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:47,260
Yeah.
746
00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:50,060
People suck.
747
00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:53,780
Oh! (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
748
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:55,260
Wow.
Who knew a guy like you had moves?
749
00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:58,900
Yeah, well, I took ballroom dancing
at school over woodwork, so...
750
00:26:58,900 --> 00:26:59,140
Yeah, well, I took ballroom dancing
Oh. Well, it paid off.
751
00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:01,780
Oh. Well, it paid off.
752
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,300
(BOTH LAUGH)
753
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,300
(LAUGHS)
754
00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:10,020
Did it?
755
00:27:10,020 --> 00:27:13,500
I mean, all the tradies I know
have jet skis,
756
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,740
and I have a bus pass.
757
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,140
(LAUGHS)
758
00:27:21,180 --> 00:27:23,220
(GASPS) Opening night!
759
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,580
Sorry?
760
00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:25,820
Opening night was the biggest,
Sorry?
761
00:27:25,820 --> 00:27:29,580
Opening night was the biggest,
proudest day of my dad's life.
762
00:27:29,580 --> 00:27:29,820
Opening night was the biggest,
One year after I was born.
763
00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,860
One year after I was born.
764
00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:35,260
(GASPS) You did it!
765
00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:37,820
Oh, there's not gonna be
any gold in there. Trust me.
766
00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:38,060
Oh, there's not gonna be
Ah! I don't know about that.
767
00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:41,060
Ah! I don't know about that.
768
00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:43,620
(LAUGHS)
769
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,740
You were cute then too.
770
00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:51,780
(LAUGHS)
771
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,820
I got it framed to surprise her.
772
00:27:57,820 --> 00:27:59,980
You're a decent guy, Arthur.
773
00:27:59,980 --> 00:28:03,980
Well, I mean, it was the cheapest
frame they had, so...not really.
774
00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,380
BLODWYN: No, you are.
775
00:28:05,380 --> 00:28:08,500
Maya and I talked about you
after we saw you the other day.
776
00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:11,700
Oh, you didn't happen
to talk about the...
777
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:12,980
Bad sex?
778
00:28:12,980 --> 00:28:15,980
No. Of course not.
779
00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:19,780
Maya was too busy
saying nice things about you.
780
00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:21,020
Really?
BLODWYN: Mmm.
781
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:21,260
Really?
I mean...
782
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,060
I mean...
783
00:28:23,060 --> 00:28:25,020
..what did she say exactly?
784
00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:26,500
(DOOR OPENS)
785
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:30,060
Well, you can ring your sister
and tell her it's done.
786
00:28:30,060 --> 00:28:30,300
Well, you can ring your sister
You signed the power of attorney?
787
00:28:30,300 --> 00:28:31,860
You signed the power of attorney?
788
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:34,340
No! Something much better.
789
00:28:34,340 --> 00:28:37,820
In honour
of the late, great Lawrence Porter,
790
00:28:37,820 --> 00:28:38,060
In honour
I've left my entire estate
791
00:28:38,060 --> 00:28:39,340
I've left my entire estate
792
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:39,580
to the Cactus and Succulent
I've left my entire estate
793
00:28:39,580 --> 00:28:43,860
to the Cactus and Succulent
Appreciation Society.
794
00:28:43,860 --> 00:28:45,420
Oh!
795
00:28:45,420 --> 00:28:47,220
(SIGHS)
796
00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:50,820
You little beauty!
797
00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:59,700
I appreciate you
and all that you have given,
798
00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:02,380
but the time has come.
799
00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:07,700
(FEEDBACK WHINES)
800
00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:07,940
Roll up, roll up, roll up
(FEEDBACK WHINES)
801
00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:11,620
Roll up, roll up, roll up
for the great cactus sale!
802
00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:17,300
All proceeds to the Cactus
and Succulent Appreciation Society.
803
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:22,580
Oh, for God's sake, Arthur,
put your back into it!
804
00:29:22,580 --> 00:29:22,820
Oh, for God's sake, Arthur,
Go!
805
00:29:22,820 --> 00:29:24,260
Go!
806
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:27,740
Captions by Red Bee Media
807
00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:29,820
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
55913
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