Original subtitles

There you go. All right.

Nope. Okay. Sit down. Okay.

Stan, I don't want to be hard on you, but it seems hard what you need.

Now, everyone gets blue, true enough, but we all have obligations, like, and

yours is to get me looking to piss and not grow the beard of a sex puppet.

Nothing I do matters, man.

I'm a failure. But being a failure's great, Dan.

Ladies give you all those nice looks of pity, you know, the ch -ch -ch. Oh, poor

man. And they don't take away your gun when you're dishonorably discharged. Oh!

Jeff, truly, if you care about me, just leave me alone, pal.

Oh, easy streams. Oh, there you are, you sour little suckstick. Whatever this

is, man, I'm not in the mood. Annie, as always, I'm in the mood enough for the

both of us. Special transmission coming through.

Sucky Dad!

You look like shit.

Almost not worthy of a flick.

That's not true.

He's still like that. But I'm not here just for flicking. As you know,

is the primary sponsor of the Edge Race. The Waste, Premier Car Racing, and

Homicide Hybrid.

Well, I nearly dirtied my dacks when Landy told me that my sucky dad was

actually the little Daniel who lost so memorably way back when.

Landy, you told your dad?

Look, it was either this or Mercy smothering you while you slept.

Those can't have been the only two options. Sucky dad.

The time has come for you to get back on the car racing horse. Listen, Edrick,

the last time I did the edge race, it ruined my life. I can't go through that

again. Well, I tried. Freighter's plan B. Listen, man.

Ah! No!

No! No mercy stuttering!

Okay, okay!

Fine, I'll do it! Wow!

Get off of me, Honorado. I think nothing for hours.

Thank you for doing that, Dad.

Anything for you, Landy Lou.

And if he happens to get his head blown off, maybe you'll finally come home.

Well, we've done this already.

I think this was a bad idea. Danny, look around.

It's the edge race. Is that going to get you even a bit excited?

Actually, maybe we should leave. It says here that the edge race is destroyed.

the homes of the local Edgewalkers who live on the side of this peninsula.

Okay, when we talk about how women need to have each other's backs, it's kind of

moments like this. Well, how about, uh, women have my back? Because I'm the one

with decades of shame hanging around his neck here. Oh, please, not everything's

about you, okay? People have more to think about than you losing one race 30

years ago. Attention, Edge Race fans.

Remember, it isn't a visit to the Edge Race until you get your picture taken at

the base of Narrower's Pass.

I know

you

probably think that I don't know much about all of this, but I grew up around

the edge race.

And I'm not just saying it when I tell you that I think you have something

special. Such as?

Such as us. You're friends, and we'll be right there with you doing everything

we can to make sure you win tomorrow.

Not sure how that's something special about me. Look, we love you, okay? And a

win for you is a win for all of us.

That night, Bondi, I appreciate it.

Ooh, it sounds like that's welcome speed.

Let's head over to the starting line.

Fine. Anywhere but here.

Jeff, what the hell, man?

I'm a DJ, then. Look.

Please do not touch the arm, please.

Hello, edge racers.

I hope you're ready for what's shaping up to be the fastest, bloodiest,

chilliest race ever. Brought to you, as always, by Doomshine. Don't let me get

sober. Now, what say we bring out your rating 27 time edge race champion?

It's working, paladinsas!

God, are we here?

Yeah, she's the reigning grandpa.

We were rivals as kids. She'd act all cute in public, but when we were alone,

she'd be like, quit.

Quit for all these ways she wanted to see me die?

If she was that bad back then, I can't even imagine what she's like as an

Oh, we don't know.

What the fuck?

She spent a fortune on genetic inhibitors. They say she stayed

favorite little racer.

People seem to like it. Now, it wouldn't be an edge race without a few

surprises. And this year we have a doozy.

Ricky's former racing foe is...

I guess I didn't get the memo that I was supposed to become some freak show

living out a witch's curse, eh?

Oh, he's saying that about Ricky.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's okay, everyone.

He's just a big old meanie. But we'll show him out there on the track.

I'm going to kill you slow, bitch.

Open you slow.

Hold my little hand over your exposed heart and watch it flow.

Oh, my God. Get off.

She's at least fourth. I'm never going to like him. There's nothing he could

ever do to win back my love. You all hated me when I lost 25 years ago.

Bloody hell, let's do this again. Security!

What?

That's one of the edge walkers I was talking about.

Oh, okay, cool. Ooh, scary pamphlet. Hey, you let them speak, oppressors! Oh,

see, that's not right. And I would intervene, but, you know.

I don't want to center myself in the conversation. I mean, they should be

not me, you know?

Don't worry about that, lunatic. Go have a tomb shine and get ready to see

Little Ricky take it to that old bastard tomorrow.

to show you all who's tops around here!

Ha -ha!

It's New Shine Zone, I'm the Vangaroo!

Yay, Hoopsy! Hoopsy's in the right!

riding shotgun to serve as navigator and to keep me beard?

I'm gonna keep a part of your body in my freezer like a piece of wedding cake.

Oh, I could pretend I didn't see it.

But I'd know I know.

God damn it.

Where's your king or mayor or whatever?

I'd love to hang out, but you guys just aren't. Let's eat up.

We'll see about that.

Good shot.

Listen, ratings are off the charts because of this feud between you and

And just between you and me, I'm tired of seeing the little creep win.

She's always saying the most disgusting stuff to me when no one's looking. I

know, Edric. She's a monster. But I can't help you, man. It's a little hard

race without a car.

Thoughts exactly.

Drop it.

Oh.

appreciate it, but I've never done a race without the P -76.

What if I was to offer you the P -77?

It's one better. One better.

Yes.

Great news, guys. I'm back in the race.

Whoa, look at that card.

Can't help but notice that we're not going to fit in there. Yeah, it's not

ideal, but I do feel like, you know, with all the navigation software and the

hand that passes me drinks, you guys might be a little bit redundant anyway.

If Denny... He said we'd win this together. I don't know why we can't

Yeah, I don't have time to argue with you, Lundy. We can absolutely hash this

out later.

But, uh, it's a race, you know? And you said you were helping me win so that I

could win. It shouldn't matter whether I'm doing it with or without you. Right?

Okay, bye!

We'll talk about this later!

Well, suppose that's that, then.

Fuck that. Help me find some tires.

Yeah!

Let's do it!

Yeah, okay. We're gonna need a few more things. Yeah.

Edgewalkers, listen!

We're all in grave danger!

No, like, right now, danger! There was a crack in... Yeah, no, I can't

understand what you're saying.

Our math... scare our words this is why no one has heeded our warnings thus far

well take your damn masks off our natural appearance is shocking and

to others listen i'm pretty sure people could handle it if it stopped everyone

from oh god oh my god it's like a bag of meat was hit by a train i'm sorry

Oh, I understand.

I know that this is extremely urgent, but I'm just still really living in the

world of your face.

All right, what do we got here?

Welcome to the P -77. Nope, no computer car stop.

Okay, let's see what this little guy can do.

It seemed like too much. Uh -oh! Oh, and Blondie has prepared the P -76 and is

roughing up little Daniel!

Yeah! You get him, Blondie! What are you doing, Blondie? You're not even

registered in the race!

Trophies are for empty people.

I just want to be your story.

Trust me, these piggies are positively dripping.

See you later, you stupid, silly villains.

Daniel!

supposed to do? I mean, her car is massive.

Unless it... People don't want you!

Wait at least they finished at the same time. Yeah, that's it.

At least they finished at the same time.

Shit.

You know, because sometimes you build things up in your head and they don't

deliver. But holy crap, this delivers.

This delivers twofold, honey. This delivers threefold, honey. Big party at

Oasis tonight. That's for everyone.

Everyone's invited. We got deals on drinks. Actually, the deal is you got to

a bit more. But you get to hang out with me.

Hey, guys, guys, look.

I got my trophy.

Is Lundy okay?

She's okay, right? I knew she'd be okay. She's a tumbler. Check out my trophy,

though.

ready with the towels. He always gets the zoomies after a bath.

He tuckered himself out.

Yeah, he did. Now he's having a dream.

Look at that.

Oh, it's going for the beer bottle.

Oh, that's good stuff, Jeppy.

Look at us. You know, friends, having fun.

I bet one day we'll look back on this. No. See, Londa, you don't do that.

You ruin it when you...

It's too soon to comment on. Yeah.

Oh, wow, check out the trophy.

You're some racer, aren't you?

Oh, and those were your friends, weren't they, that fell off the cliff?

Oh, what do you reckon you should feel right now?

You should have seen it. Oh, but heaps of people died, didn't they?

Yeah. See you later.