Original subtitles

Thank you very much. Enjoy yourself, everybody.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show.

You're it.

This is it.

Great, hot show tonight. It's going to be fun. Guys, this weekend, they took

down the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.

You see that? Yeah.

But first, in order to do that, they had to get rid of everything that was

living inside of it.

Pigeons, squirrels, Rudy Giuliani. I mean, they had to get everything out.

Yeah, the tree was tied up and whisked out in the middle of the night, just

a Venezuelan dictator.

Speaking of, President Trump just hosted oil executives at the White House to

talk about Venezuela, but the CEO of Exxon told Trump that the Venezuelan

is uninvestable.

Yeah, they're like, sir, we'd rather invest in a beach house in North Korea.

They're like, sir, we'd rather invest in labubu dolls now.

They were like, sir, we'd rather invest in straight hockey shows.

Get this, after his meeting with oil executives, Trump flew to Florida for a

dentist appointment.

Hey, if you're going to get a job looking at Trump's cavities, that's

the one you want.

At the end of the visit, the dentist was like, I think you need a crown. And

Trump was like, you read my mind, sister.

Some more political news. The Justice Department has now launched a criminal

investigation of Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell over the cost of

the Federal Reserve headquarters.

Trump said Powell is not very good at the Fed and not very good at building

buildings.

I'm not sure Trump's very good at wording words.

Keep in mind, until recently, Trump thought the Fed chair was something you

could buy at Raymoor and Flanagan.

Well, guys, everyone's talking about Trump's foreign policy. He's been

more and more aggressive towards other countries. If you haven't kept up, I'll

break it down for you.

Things are happening fast.

Trump's threatening to invade Greenland just after he invaded Venezuela, or as

he calls it, Venezuela.

What's next? Is he going to go into Africa and go after Namibia, or as he

it, Nambia?

Or maybe Tanzania, which he calls... Tanzania.

Or maybe even Azerbaijan, or as he calls it... Azerbaijan.

After that, he can go for the Middle East, maybe the United Arab Emirates, or

he calls it... The United Arab Emirates.

If not every country, Trump will probably let Saudi Arabia and Russia

independent, or as he puts it... Saudi Arabia and Russia will be...

He should remember we've got plenty of resources here at home in places like

Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Mississippi, or as he calls them, Texas,

Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi.

All of which are right here in the United States, or as he calls it, the

States.

And finally, guys, today is National

Pharmacist Day.

Yeah.

Whether you hand out pills from the counter at CVS or hand out weed from

a 7 -Eleven, we salute you. We have a great show. Give it up for The

Roots!

What a show we have for you tonight. She is a hilarious actor who stars in Palm

Royale. The season two finale premieres Wednesday on Apple TV.

Kristen Wiig is here tonight.

The best. The best. The best.

He stars in the new show The Beauty. The first three episodes premiere January

21st on FX and Hulu.

Ashton Kutcher is here tonight.

And there are the voices of Rumi and Jinu in the most watched Netflix movie

all time, K -pop Demon Hunters. Arden Cho and Ahn Hyo -seop from K -pop Demon

Hunters are here tonight.

And we got great music from Ty Myers!

Well, I got some cool news today.

My show, On Brand, which aired on NBC and is available on Peacock right now,

just nominated for a NAACP Image Award for Best Host. Oh, come on.

Yes.

So congrats to everyone that worked so hard on that show and the best co -host

you could even ask for, Bozema St. John. Congratulations, Boz.

This is really cool. Thanks for that nomination.

Cool time of year. I like this time of year. It's kind of cozy outside, a

chilly out. And I was looking at recipes online, and I saw some really cool soup

recipes from a lot of grandmas out there.

And it's very adorable. I want to show you some right now. It's time for Mimi's

Munchies.

Mimi's Munchies.

All right.

Let's take a look. This one here is on YouTube right here. It's the lentil

Here, watch this.

Oh. Oh, jeez.

All right, we'll cut this out.

All right.

Identify the traffic lights.

I'm like, I'm not a robot.

This worked in rehearsal.

All right, here we go. This one.

This one.

This one. And this one. All right, here we go.

Mimi's Machi. Let's go.

Identify bicycles.

I swear I'm not a robot.

All right.

That's a bicycle. Yes. One, two, three, four. There you go.

Which pens have run out of ink? What?

How would I know that?

I don't know. I think maybe this one, this one, this one, and this one?

You said that yourself from the future.

Probably him.

Maybe him, him, and him.

Which dental hygienist likes to gossip while they clean your teeth?

I have no idea.

This one.

This one, this one, of course, and then that one.

Yeah, great.

Which? The Schnauzer's experiencing boredom.

They all look kind of bored. I don't know.

This one, this one, this one, and this one.

All right, very good. Let's do it. Here we go.

The people who pronounce it espresso.

Oh, yeah, that's annoying.

It's annoying.

But let me see. It's probably him, her, and this one, and this one. Here we go.

Good. Here we go. All right.

Button from Wolf Blitzer's jacket. I don't pay attention to his buttons, so I

would say probably Wolf wears this one, this one, this one, and this one.

Okay.

Moms who aren't mad, they're just disappointed.

Okay.

That one, that one, that one, and that one. All right, here we go. Let's get to

the bit here. Thank you. Capture complete. All right.

All right, Mimi's Munchies.

Unfortunately, we're out of time. We'll have to look at the recipes next week.

Stick around. We'll be right back with Kristen Wiig, everybody.