Original subtitles

Times of India say he's unfit for office

express India said he's an immature

marriage breaking liar I always used to

look forward to the state visits they're

planned so many months in advance it's

virtually impossible to [ __ ] them up

well maybe he won't [ __ ] it up you going

soft on no she is she's going soft on

him excuse me can we just concentrate on

the Indian State yes let's you never

know it might go according to plan

bastard Vinnie call it I'm going to kill

him all right you too let's the chitchat

back to work come

on ready to play very good very

good who the hell is

this ruined by a bunch of bloody

lightweights what what you done o

[Music]

[ __ ] bloody hell Vin

me you bastard

[Music]

I'll go and get some help

[Music]

he your

majesty I've just been informed the

Indian president is coming up the M you

haven't spotted the obvious mistake

then

sir I am ready both my sisters are ready

my brother is ready but my mother

patently isn't has her majesty said word

no word nothing the queen is obviously

intent on embarrassing me nice of her

don't you think what have you done to

upset her bro what okay why is it my

fault seriously you don't

know um sorry sir okay I don't care who

it is but someone right now is going to

go and sort my mother out yes I'll go

sir

[Music]

I've got the state banquet in 2 days

time and I am this close to walking out

I'm telling you I'm used to working with

professionals half the stuff here came

straight off the bloody

Ark a service please

Dopey we want to do everything we can to

facilitate your work Mr Bishop yeah well

you could have fooled me the smooth

running of this state visit is of

Paramount import to us so do you want to

press charges against Mr

GATRA well I just want him sacked all

right and if anyone else steps out of

line they can go the same bloody

way consider it

done Jeremy is this my toast and

marmalade the King has appointed a new

Chef he's an Ardent fan of drizzle

apparently out with the old in with the

new so he didn't have the decency to

come himself your majesty the king is

with the Indian party at the moment I

know he was very much counting on your

support

man' thank you

Jeremy I'm being banished to the Royal

Lodge did you know banished is a very

strong word

maam tell

my tell tell him

I'm very

sorry he must do the state visit

alone so is the queen making a point so

it would seem we simply have to

capitalize on

it hand it over what don't be C

Simon all right all

[Laughter]

right oh dear I didn't know they made

diamonds at

small oh it's for her isn't it it's your

little

girlfriend sweet thank you diamonds are

forever Simon well so they say

Simon my mother has a soft spot for

[Music]

diamonds star of garat isn't it

beautiful yes I know what it is

Elena I worried at your father's

coronation why did you bring this this

to me I had an appointment with a crown

Jeweler I had to get my tiar and stuff

sorted out for the banquet and he just

finished restoring

it thought it might remind you of

Daddy I need reminding of him do I not

at all I'm sorry thought it might lift

your spirits up a bit personally I I

just think Richard's wrong to send you

to Windsor this is your

home the king needs to start realizing

that his actions have consequences that

he's hurting people who are

[Music]

close I don't suppose the Indians would

be very

happy if I wore this to the state

visit no ma'am it's rumored to be sacred

you

know it would be terribly Politically

Incorrect of you ma'am

[Music]

they were designed and made for my great

great

grandfather um and we we

off I think we've got a

problem our Royal Highness Queen

Charlotte

whatever you said Derek did the trick

thank

you darling will even wipe that smile

off her that's about to be oneighty

around what the diamond the queen is

wearing the Indians say that it's a

Divine Relic that belongs to Mother

India not mother Charlotte lickings got

absolutely no idea like a lamb to the

how Lely to meet you and his lovely wife

yes of course Queen

Charlotte

yes San uh this speech just came through

from the foreign office it's marked

urgent thank

you it's the draft speech for the

banquet tomor which the young king

apologizes for the sins of the Imp IAL

past Returns the said Diamond yes SM is

that was fast they must be

worried H proof freed it will you happy

and then go through it with his

majesty it's a shame for the queen

though isn't it I mean if I had a

diamond like that I definitely want to

keep it you're quite right Lucy let's

let her keep it Let's ignore the fact

that Britannia no longer rules the waves

that we depend on Indian money to keep

the economy afloat that a car plant in

the the West Midlands will close next

month without Indian investment a

thousand people will lose their job so

art Ian let's keep the dime and have a

nice sit down dinner and forget what

this s Vis is really about some of us

haven't even been invited to the dinner

yes thank you Lucy

ma'am should I call your doctor there's

nothing wrong with her Richard your

majesty I'm very sorry the queen is not

to be disturbed today well I'm very

sorry Jeremy the queen is going to be

very disturbed today go on out

mommy doesn't want to go to Windsor so

she thought she'd completely undermine

me make me look a Fool on the world

stage Bravo you done a good job I'm

sorry what I did was very

wrong I had no idea it would cause such

a

row it was cruel of me

unforgivable look they uh they want the

Diamond Back mother

and I'm going to give it

back I was

25 when your father was Crown

King but I knew nothing of the world I

was a baby

really the dress was so heavy I remember

I could

barely oh I felt so

frightened I was

shaking I felt so utterly lonely

then your father came

in and gave me the

necklace he told me the

legend that the diamond has power but

must only be worn by a woman

no and as soon as she wears it that

woman becomes a

queen I put it around my

neck and that moment I felt so

loved and I felt like a

queen I don't know who I am anymore what

my role

is since your father

died you've got to stick up for yourself

any it's not too late I'm just a foot

his word against mine well you can't

just go

what about me and

Ruby what are we going to do without

you why did you do

it you tell him what you told

me the chef racially abused

him is this true

Vinnie yeah he's a nasty piece of work

he's only worked in a month and nobody

likes him this is a very serious

allegation he can't be sacked now can he

you can remain at the palace but you'll

be suspended from duty but he's innocent

he may be innocent but he's not the one

we're relying on to cook for 180 guests

is

he that is absolute crap we're obliged

to take this allegation seriously Mr

Bishop you know what I got to hand it to

him as good as that in it calling me a

racist in the middle of an Indian State

visit F an opportunity there so you deny

it look darling I'm experienced in the

media I'm not stupid enough to be racist

Vinnie wouldn't lie oh I at tto follow

good you were to you

mate yeah that's it off your truck Dame

Shirley so you have absolutely no idea

why he hit you very good very good oh

why don't we ask the lady Ruby was I

have a racist to your boyfriend you see

she should know they have asked me to

remind you that the president's wife is

allergic to to eat gluten and dairy it's

a shame for you that eh get kicked out

of charm school did you Ruby not before

they Tau me how to avoid tosses like you

mton it's a bit late for that a

it is that it can I get back to feeding

the 5,000 Mr Bishop I'm afraid Her

Majesty likes her egg boiled for 3.5

minutes precisely no more and no less

give

it unbelievable unbelievable

come on yes um Miss Thomas Her Majesty

the queen wishes to see you I want to

see the Royal Crest on everyone start

again I want to help my son Abigail it

may not seem like it but I do yes ma'am

which is why I'm going to write a fairy

story for Richard with a very happy

ending I'm not sure I exactly I know of

a suitable girl for him I just need you

to put it into action for me

no one need know this came from me least

of all

Richard you want me to match

make with all due respect ma'am I don't

feel comfortable with you don't have to

be comfortable with

it right so on the one hand the Indians

really want it back oh yeah I hear there

are all night prayer vigils going on in

temples in the good so no real pressure

then on the other hand there's our

mother she does love that diamond yeah

she likes to wear it a couple of times a

year to her dinner dance type scenario

yeah cuz she's got that um turkey wle

thing going on with her neck yes she

does personally bro I think you've got

no choice straight back to the Tower

with the diamond and tell those pesky

Indians to Rod off have you all finished

but there is a serious issue here rich I

mean what possessed her it's happening

we all knew it would The Madness of

Queen Charlotte okay that's enough we

need to to win as a Pronto uh more like

sheltered accommodation I think yeah

somewhere secure with a warden and a

panic I said that's

[Music]

enough oh we're any

teasing come on you know whatever you

decide will be with you don't

you Georgina come on Ela get on be

quiet yes an I was going to call you

yeah I have written some of

it I don't know uh 10,000 words the

thing is um I need to talk to you I have

to go now your majesty have a word in

your office yes sir have you read this

the speech for tomorrow yeah and what do

you think of it uh well I think it's a

bit stiff yeah stiff I think only my

dead father could do it for justice sir

if you're unhappy with the speech

Abigail the diamond belongs to the crown

yeah so it's my decision whether to keep

it or not well strictly speaking yes sir

but I don't think it would play very

well there's a lot at stake politically

I know what's a

stake is it Queen Charlotte that you're

concerned about

so you know all I know is my father gave

her the diamond and whether it was his

to give or not it was given with

some I don't know rough approximation of

love and it means an awful lot to her

I'm sorry sir I really think you have to

follow your head and not your heart on

this one but look why don't I take a

look at the speech and try and loosen it

up make it a bit more

personal yeah all right fine oh just one

last thing sir I do need to speak to you

about a change in your

engagements right who am I shaking hands

with this time uh you have a new 5:00

with a oh The Honorable Miss Alice

Templeton she's here to promote a new

Indian charity what fatty

Templeton I hope that so with some

affection sir no fatty she's an old mate

she's a right love

brilliant that's cheered me up no

[Music]

end Miss Templeton hi Abigail is it so

sorry I'm a bit late I've come straight

from work God I must look a sight you

don't I hate having my photo taken at

the best of times is that something I

can change of course thanks

the room is ready for M yeah

sorry aliser would you please show Miss

tomilson to her suet I'll be with you in

a minute Ruby

Ruby you and

Vinnie we

[Music]

finished was it

finished okay

that's what I

thought I did want to say how sorry I am

about all that silly fuss over the

diamond it's fine Richard and I have

come to an agreement over

it who's going to keep it for you smile

for the camera

darling hello hi I'm Alice oh Johnny

phot oh Alice

Templeton good good good good good

fatty God she's G all low carb all of a

sudden you are so

posing what you got an eye on the King

look on your

face stop excuse me Mom I'm just going

to go and be sick supposed to be running

the country are you is that with come on

look at the camera is she wasn't an

official engagement today was she

General day to uh no it was a last

minute request of the um well of her

charity cradle India I ran it by the

king I hope that's all right genius very

important you know yeah what well look

at them they're made for each other

jumping the

G nothing like a potential Queen to make

them all love him

again come

on very Ser am I allowed to put my arm I

have no idea

[Music]

so Vinnie should we talk about why you

really hit the

chef thanks that was so delicious the

last time I ate here it was like School

dinners I've appointed a new Chef nicked

him from The Ivy nice one don't let him

go hey I'm sorry about your

dad you always had a soft spot for you I

was in India for the funeral yeah I

you've developed a social conscience

since I last saw you I've always had a

social conscience I just never had the

chance to exercise it so you had a good

time in India brilliant well they

obviously starved you I Hae very well

there thank you you look you look

fantastic thanks I've just been very

busy I mean I've been helping to set up

for this new charity we're opening

orphanages for unwanted baby girls you

know it's so rewarding but also well you

can imagine anyway I'm back here trying

to raise the funds for a new orphanage

in Madras good for you Ally I

meia You Know Rich it's none of my

business what the diamond you know it

has huge religious and cultural

significance in India funly enough I do

well make sure you do the right thing

yeah I'm

trying

good pudding

me you lied to me vin what did you want

me to say I hit the chef because my

girlfriend cheated on me and I feel like

an absolute

plonker

yes so will I be sacked now well you

made a false

allegation doesn't look good

Vinnie you know my biggest

mistake falling in love with someone who

works here

what's this

it's just a little

something and you can keep this one the

Indians aren't

interested is this a

joke um let me think about that

one

no I thought you could wear it tonight

are you getting serious with me

[Music]

it's a big night for all of us tonight

and I want you on your toes Che I

haven't got any time for [ __ ] footing

around no chef chef speaking of which

you're late I was busy get out of my way

you fat bloody donut I'm the one who's

busy that man is rude and a bully and a

bigot but not a

racist Milton Bishop is in the clear and

Arvin he'll be gone by the morning he's

won hasn't he not yet he hasn't we must

convince him that we do things in a

certain way

here and we can begin

tonight the

banquet out with a new and in with the

old I say yes my

friend oh

really rock and roll you have just made

my day I have to look my best I have to

shine

tonight no

off thank you

Natalie it's my mother she's definitely

up to something well I have some news

that'll really cheer you up someone's

writing a book criticizing the king

saying he unfit to rule someone in the

palace

where did that come from well I have my

contacts who have their contacts do we

have any idea who it is not yet it'll be

some Minion there'll be some backstairs

pig or some dowy lady Clark with thick

ankles who was in love with my

father well whoever it is I'll have fun

tracking them

down let's keep it as our secret yeah

yes of

course I Tred to keep it as brief as I

could no what is it that you want to say

oh maybe I should just wing it no I'm

afraid

king is not allowed to just wing it that

seems awfully unfair now maybe we can

still start with the first bit you look

very pitching tonight abig girl you

changing the subject no you do are you

saying that I look bad there rest of the

time

shocking we need to work you have to

speak in less than 1 hour let's go out

to dinner sir Milton Bishop has been

slaving over a hot stove for you and

there are 200 people waiting to hang on

your every word what if I don't want to

speak to them well then they'd be very

disappointed sir come on look I'll take

you out dancing I'm a very good dancer

ter I'm a really good dancer I'll have

you know your majesty Her Majesty Queen

Charlotte Richard good evening Mother

Majesty Abigail uh we were just

um we were just finalizing what I should

say tonight I'll wait outside sir no no

please don't I sh disturb your

work I just wanted to wish you luck

oh and

um

you'll I need

this mommy thank

you thanks

[Music]

I know what you should say yeah you

should honor your mother pay tribute to

her well and then give the diamond

back I think you need to do what you

feel is right

[Music]

sir I'm so will you be able to stay in

the king for

[Music]

some oh my God fatty is so not fat

anymore

Alice oh hi hello

Helena how nice to see you again is he

George hey um about the uh incident at

the Pony Club I never really apologized

George it's fine we were what nine so

nice to see you again Alice how lovely

that you could be here Richard needs all

the support he can get right

now let me introduce you to some people

George put your tongue in you'll never

get her it's not fair Richard always

gets first dibs on everything

I think you're going to stor it

sir your majesty princess Elena is here

to see you thanks have a girl you're a

star enjoy it

sir hey I was just coming my God Rich

you will not believe what mommy's been

up to now we've just been laughing about

it down there what she's trying to marry

you off to fatty Templeton it's

ridiculous isn't it but she can't resist

it can't she control freak if I were you

I would put her firmly in her place

tonight

[Music]

come on you bunch of pansies I want

everyone exactly the

same I'm Master to peace Mr Bishop only

one

problem the

plate you use the Rockingham service the

king always insists on the gold service

at a state banket did the yman of the

silver pant not tell you that

kill

[Music]

Mar you wore

it looks beautiful thank you oh so here

she is the famous Abby you've got my

private secretary in quite a tear hav't

you I'm sorry h

I think he thinks it's love poor lamb

now I've told him I'm quite willing to

tolerate it so long as he keeps his eye

on the ball so should speak isn't that

right

son

[Music]

oh that's some kind of threat don't

worry about it listen there's something

you should

know someone in the palace is writing a

book criticizing the

king what yeah if you would care to take

your seats now

please but don't worry bab I am on the

hunt I'll find

him oh huh

h

[Music]

you think this is funny to hear this

little initiation ceremony of yours no

chef

well a bit

Chef time to

go no I'll tell you what I think it's

time for you to go you Welsh

puff what did you call him you heard

me

gentlemen down tools

please service is

over in the past the relationship

between our two great Nations has been

compared to that of a fond parent and

child the mother nurturing her child

towards independence and then watching

with pleasure and pride as she makes her

way in the

world today it is to Mother India that

we look and she is for us the source of

investment

of

inspiration and of

ideas Mr

Bishop we work as a team here we

cooperate we show each other

respect well you can go as well go on

get your coat I'm afraid you'll have to

run that one past mummy you what you're

going to fire us all are you why don't

you start with Mac over

there he's worked here for 60 years

served under three different monarchs

the King's favorite

footman go on I dare you you sign up for

life here Mr

Bishop uh I was born to this

role and unfortunately that doesn't mean

it always comes naturally to me but

luckily I have her majesty Queen

Charlotte to keep me on the straight of

narrow she has always been for me the

perfect role

model at my father's coronation she made

her own vows to this country and she has

stayed true to them ever

since and like

her I will strive to do the right

thing and I will try my

best to make my mother proud of me

boiling eggs for I'm never worthy such a

bunch of ugly misant backward limp

wristed good for nothing no hope losers

I mean where did they find you you're a

[ __ ] you're a puff another puff py

[ __ ] puff Mr

Bishop that's enough oh no I wasn't um I

I didn't the king is

speaking in light of the good relations

between us I would like to

give

sorry excuse

me uh and in light of

the of the good relations between us I

would like to make the

[Music]

gesture um I would like to make the

gesture of

donating to the charity cradle

India uh this charity plans to to build

orphanages all over India for unwanted

baby girls um we have one of its patrons

The Honorable Miss Alice Templeton here

with us

tonight and I would like to fully fund a

new orphanage in Madras and open

it in my mother's name

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

well the Indians aren't happy Queen

Charlotte is on the other

hand you really should have taken me up

on that offer you know dinner dancing

champagne we had a lot more fun I had no

idea champagne was on the

menus oh here we go here come the

Heavies your

majesty I take that you are aware of the

serious consequences of not returning

the diamond yes I am the factory will

close a thousand people will lose their

jobs the broad sheets won't go for you

on this one sir the foreign office is

furious I'm well aware of the situation

I just wish you wouldn't keep going up

messes and I wish you had more faith in

me Ian it would make both our jobs a

great deal

easier Abigail about the speech the

speech had nothing to do with Abigail it

was all my

inspiration your

majesty I would like to say how much I

appreciated what you did for me what you

said

publicly well there was a reason why I

couldn't give the Diamond Back mother oh

it wasn't mine to

return hi aren't you favor of the

month go on get on with some work

sir you're a sight for so eyes they're

going to sa the

chef you're kidding me no bayfield's

already informed the pal

Steward our work here is

[Music]

done Dr

kapor it has been my great honor to have

been able to wear the star of Gujarat

and it will now be my great honor

to return her to her

Homeland thank you your

majesty my country will be most

grateful good riddance to bad rubbish

eh I'll drink to

them here

I'm

sorry vene no no no no it doesn't matter

now we're back together the Magnificent

three I made a terrible mistake with

that [ __ ]

I was

drunk and it was stupid and

um and I just want us to be friends

again

Vinnie I can't be friends

Ruby

what I'm in love with

you and uh wait you just don't feel the

same

way I

do sometimes I mean I doesn't

matter it's not your

fault thing

is just can't put myself through

it seeing you every

day what are you

doing I'm

even no no no no no you can't do

that sorry

mate bastard

[Music]

your

majesty I uh I was looking for abig girl

yeah she's in her

office princess Eleanor ma'am send her

in

Jeremy you asked to see me

I want you to leave Alice Templeton

alone oh come on it's not funny well

fatty can look after herself I know why

you brought me that diamond in the first

place always a little scheme you could

scheme before you could

walk you wrapped your father around your

little finger but you don't fool me I

know exactly what you're after and you

will never

succeed have you quite

finished no I haven't

you were born first Elena but you were

not a boy and you will never ever

Reign Richard is King and he will have

my support as long as I am

living know your place my

girl I know my place I was born first

and I was a girl and what a crushing

disappointment that was for

everyone especially

you it's a bity there weren't those

orphanages for girls then isn't it

mother can I get you anything

ma'am I think I'll have a small

gin it's been a long day yes

ma'am and

Jeremy start unpacking would you

we aren't going

anywhere oh very good

mam I've already joined too much come on

that's the point of State

visits aren't you going to propose a

toast I think they've had enough of my

speeches for one day don't you yeah good

point so

I oh no no here's one um how about hist

the following your heart

no way too sentimental is it yeah yeah

yeah you're right it's

[Music]

rubbish I'm sorry

[Music]

Abby Abby

a