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http
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http:
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http:/
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http://
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http://h
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http://hi
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http://hiq
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http://hiqv
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http://hiqve
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http://hiqve.
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http://hiqve.c
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http://hiqve.co
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http://hiqve.com
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http://hiqve.com/
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http://hiqve.com/
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[rock music plays]
20
00:00:15,139 --> 00:00:15,890
Damn!
21
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,892
Oh, kelso misses
another one.
22
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,685
I believe that's h-o-r.
23
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:23,606
Ah, you are a whore.
24
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,067
No, the game is horse.
25
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:27,652
Oh.
26
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:30,154
Ok, you know, Michael,
I'm gonna go home.
27
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,364
I'm gonna
do my homework.
28
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,574
You do your homework
on a Saturday night?
29
00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:35,826
Yeah.
30
00:00:35,993 --> 00:00:36,911
Look, I mean,
look at me.
31
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,497
I've got a 1,000-word
term paper due Monday,
32
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:40,623
but you don't
see me sweating.
33
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,792
I've got a whole
crappy Sunday to do it.
34
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,293
Jackie, don't go home.
35
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,796
I mean, Steve Martin's
hosting Saturday night.
36
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,256
I hate that show, ok?
37
00:00:48,422 --> 00:00:50,424
They have these commercials
which you think are real,
38
00:00:50,591 --> 00:00:52,635
but they're not real.
39
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,846
And then you want
to buy the stuff.
40
00:00:56,013 --> 00:00:57,974
Ok, see you, Michael.
41
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,644
Bye.
Bye.
42
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:04,105
Jackie: Shut up!
43
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:08,401
Kelso, Jackie does her
homework on Saturday night.
44
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,027
That's so hip.
45
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:11,904
You guys don't have to worry
about Jackie anymore
46
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,157
because i'm
breaking up with her.
47
00:01:15,324 --> 00:01:18,119
We are so tired
of hearing you say that.
48
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,830
No, I am.
I'm breaking up with her.
49
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,582
Yeah? When?
50
00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:25,167
I'm picking my moment.
51
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:27,003
Hey, where's Fez?
52
00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:32,008
Make that shot,
whore!
53
00:01:35,928 --> 00:01:39,515
♪ Hangin' out ♪
54
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,269
♪ down the street ♪
55
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,939
♪ the same old thing ♪
56
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:50,359
♪ we did last week ♪
57
00:01:50,526 --> 00:01:54,405
♪ not a thing to do ♪
58
00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:57,742
♪ but talk to you ♪
59
00:01:57,908 --> 00:01:59,910
♪ whoa, yeah! ♪
60
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:05,082
Hello, Wisconsin!
61
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:18,346
[Music plays]
62
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,682
Well, now, aren't
the waffles extra delicious
63
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:24,226
this wonderful morning?
64
00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:26,729
Did you
quit smoking again?
65
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,148
And why do you ask,
little one?
66
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,192
Well, you're kind of talking
like snow white, so I figured--
67
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,234
red: Eric!
68
00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:35,154
Which is great. Um,
I really want you to quit.
69
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,281
Well, I should have quit
a long time ago.
70
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,241
I'm a nurse.
I know better.
71
00:02:39,408 --> 00:02:40,868
More sausage?
72
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,536
[Telephone rings]
73
00:02:42,703 --> 00:02:44,997
I'll get it.
74
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,874
Hello.
75
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:50,628
Oh. Oh, that's--
that's too bad.
76
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,547
Well, sure.
We'll be glad to.
77
00:02:53,714 --> 00:02:57,134
Yeah. See you soon.
78
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,886
Good-bye.
79
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,138
Who was that, dear?
80
00:03:01,305 --> 00:03:02,890
Uh, my mother.
81
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:07,311
Seems like uncle Paul
broke his ankle and, uh,
82
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,772
she's going to church
with us today.
83
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,982
No, she's not.
84
00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:13,693
It's Paul's turn
to take her.
85
00:03:13,859 --> 00:03:15,778
Well, like I said,
he broke his ankle.
86
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:19,115
Broken ankle, whatever.
It's his turn.
87
00:03:19,281 --> 00:03:20,533
Kitty, the man is injured.
88
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,284
Ok, that is just great.
89
00:03:22,451 --> 00:03:27,998
Ha ha ha. I will just take
a chicken out of the freezer.
90
00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:31,460
Because...queen bernice...
91
00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:33,379
Doesn't like ham.
92
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,423
Ok, ok, look.
I'll just call her
93
00:03:35,589 --> 00:03:37,049
and tell her
that we can't make it.
94
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,552
Oh, red, red,
red, red, red.
95
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,886
You know who'll
get blamed for that.
96
00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:42,763
Well, why should she blame you?
She's my mother.
97
00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:46,350
Something she never
lets me forget.
98
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,561
Look, you can tell her
I'm sick or something.
99
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,564
Eric, go upstairs
and put on that shirt
100
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:52,481
your grandmother gave you.
101
00:03:52,648 --> 00:03:53,566
Eric, just stay there.
102
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:54,775
Your mother is just
being ridiculous.
103
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:55,985
You know,
what's ridiculous
104
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:59,488
is giving your mother
our phone number!
105
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,532
What's being
ridiculous is--
106
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,367
hold it. Hold it!
107
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:05,619
Hold--hold it.
108
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:09,832
Now, look,
let's just stay calm.
109
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,417
Mom,
if it'll help you out,
110
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,544
I'll hang out
with grandma...
111
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,422
So she'll
leave you alone.
112
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,383
What do you say?
113
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,093
Well,
first of all, Eric,
114
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,679
I'm the one who says
"hold it."
115
00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,055
When you pay
the bills,
116
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:27,183
you get to say
"hold it."
117
00:04:27,349 --> 00:04:28,434
Now
get in the car
118
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,727
because we're
going to church
119
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:33,564
and we're going to have
a damn nice Sunday!
120
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,608
Well, you're damn right!
121
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,110
Just try and stop me!
122
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,489
Damn.
123
00:04:45,409 --> 00:04:47,411
Here she comes.
124
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:50,331
Oh, god, red, I don't
think I can do this.
125
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,751
Kitty, do us all a favor
and light up.
126
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,503
I'm fine.
127
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,007
Careful, grandma.
128
00:05:01,717 --> 00:05:03,427
Aah!
129
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,389
It's just my dress.
130
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:16,148
Well, it's nice
to see you, bernice.
131
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:20,236
I hate this car. You know,
I just hate this car.
132
00:05:20,402 --> 00:05:23,113
Your brother Jerry
has a beautiful car.
133
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,615
A Lincoln.
134
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:29,537
I bet he makes more money,
a lot more money than you do.
135
00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:31,956
Alrighty, then.
136
00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:35,251
So, kitty, Eric tells me
that you quit smoking.
137
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:38,379
Yes, yes, I did quit and
I just--i feel great. Ha ha!
138
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,716
Well, good for you, dear.
139
00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:53,060
In the name of the father,
the son, and the holy ghost,
140
00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,436
amen.
141
00:05:54,603 --> 00:05:58,148
Please stand for a moment
of silent meditation.
142
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,528
Kitty, thinking: Dear god,
thank you so much
143
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,574
for helping me quit
such a filthy, disgusting...
144
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,075
Soothing, delicious habit.
145
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,326
Oh god, I can't do this!
146
00:06:09,493 --> 00:06:10,661
No no. I'm fine!
147
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,204
Amen!
148
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,457
Bernice, thinking: Dear god,
149
00:06:15,624 --> 00:06:17,835
what's with
all the polacks?
150
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:19,461
Eric, thinking: Dear god,
151
00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:20,838
I don't mean to bother you
on your day off,
152
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,923
but I promised to help out
with grandma,
153
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,925
and I have a term paper
due tomorrow,
154
00:06:25,092 --> 00:06:26,719
so if you could either get
her to leave early today
155
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,679
or burn down
the school tomorrow,
156
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,514
I mean, eitherior,
god's choice.
157
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,601
It would really
help me out, man. God. Lord.
158
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:35,144
Uh, amen.
159
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,438
Red, thinking: Dear lord,
160
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,482
would it kill you to give
the packers a winning season?
161
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,151
Amen.
162
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:46,697
Oh, and watch over my
loving family, blah, blah, blah.
163
00:06:49,825 --> 00:06:52,119
TV announcer: Welcome to
worship for shut-ins.
164
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,914
Change it.
165
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,749
[Bowling pins
being knocked down]
166
00:06:56,916 --> 00:07:00,044
All right,
change that.
167
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,838
How did we change
channels before Fez?
168
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,215
I don't think we did.
169
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,803
Oh, you guys, I got to work
on my term paper.
170
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,430
Where's grandma?
171
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,598
Oh, she's
in the bathroom.
172
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,392
So I've got, like,
20 minutes, 1/2 hour, tops.
173
00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:16,602
What's the assignment?
174
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,730
All right. In 1,000 words,
describe the 3 branches
175
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,942
of the United States government
and their functions.
176
00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:24,443
I'll never make it.
177
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,903
Well, go up and tell them
you have homework to do.
178
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:28,364
No. I want to keep peace
in the family.
179
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,281
Yeah, Donna.
180
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:32,326
Forman wants
the hallmark card family.
181
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,077
The what?
182
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:35,663
You know,
grandma comes over...
183
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,751
[Hyde in high-pitched voice] To my
mother-in-law on this beautiful Sunday--
184
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,711
your smiling face,
your kind embrace,
185
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:45,547
has made my home
a happy place.
186
00:07:45,714 --> 00:07:47,633
[Hyde in scratchy voice] And
I'm so happy you're the one
187
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,427
to whom I gave
my loving son.
188
00:07:50,594 --> 00:07:52,471
[Hyde as red] And I'm so
happy you're both happy
189
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:56,892
because otherwise
life would be crappy.
190
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,435
I don't want that.
191
00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:01,438
Yeah, you do. I can see it
in those wide, hopeful eyes.
192
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,482
But the reality is this.
193
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,234
To my daughter-in-law--
194
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:06,568
you took my son.
195
00:08:06,735 --> 00:08:07,695
You wrecked my life.
196
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:08,904
You stole my youth.
197
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,322
You hate my wife.
198
00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:11,323
I do my best.
199
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:12,491
Now, that's a joke.
200
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,450
I'm going out.
201
00:08:13,617 --> 00:08:15,911
I need a smoke!
202
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:20,749
Damn it, Eric.
203
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:21,875
Quit hiding from
your grandmother.
204
00:08:22,042 --> 00:08:25,546
She's old! She could die!
Now move it!
205
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:26,880
I thought she was
in the bathroom.
206
00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,048
False alarm!
207
00:08:28,215 --> 00:08:28,799
Oh.
208
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:29,758
Look, go take care
of your grandmother.
209
00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:30,634
We can do this.
210
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,636
Thanks.
211
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:34,847
All right, how many
words does he have?
212
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,516
His name, the date,
the class--
213
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,184
seven.
214
00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:40,686
He's screwed.
215
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:41,937
Use his middle name.
216
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,981
See, now this would
never happen to me.
217
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:47,234
That is why I do my
homework on Saturday.
218
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,946
This is a moment,
kelso. Pick it.
219
00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:54,283
Ahem. I think you all
could learn something
220
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,160
from me right now.
221
00:08:56,326 --> 00:08:59,079
Moment number 2.
222
00:09:00,622 --> 00:09:04,209
All right! Jackie,
we need to talk.
223
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:07,337
[Humming hula music]
224
00:09:07,504 --> 00:09:08,630
You know what?
225
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:10,841
I did the same paper
last year in history.
226
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,259
I think I got an "a."
227
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:14,344
You want me to
go home and get it?
228
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:15,888
Let me think.
229
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,014
Yeah!
230
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,265
Hold on, Donna.
231
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,224
Jackie, we need to talk
232
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:22,394
about this
whole situa--gaah!
233
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:23,812
Jackie,
why don't you go ahead?
234
00:09:23,979 --> 00:09:27,733
Ok.
235
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,527
Do not break up with her yet.
You understand me?
236
00:09:30,694 --> 00:09:33,947
Say you understand me.
237
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:34,656
All this time
238
00:09:34,823 --> 00:09:35,949
I thought you
didn't like Jackie.
239
00:09:36,116 --> 00:09:37,701
Aah!
240
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,828
Just don't break up
with her yet.
241
00:09:39,995 --> 00:09:41,163
Ok, ok.
242
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,499
All right.
243
00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:45,542
Hey, what do we need
Jackie for, man?
244
00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:47,503
I know more about
this stuff than she does.
245
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,338
The three true branches
of the government
246
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:53,592
are military, corporate,
and Hollywood.
247
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,178
I need a pencil.
I got it. I got it.
248
00:09:58,388 --> 00:10:00,390
Jackie, run!
249
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:10,275
I hope you're hungry.
250
00:10:10,442 --> 00:10:12,528
Yeah, the chicken
will be done soon.
251
00:10:12,694 --> 00:10:14,154
I can't eat chicken.
252
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:16,907
You know I have
an irritable bowel.
253
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:39,012
You should
have made a ham.
254
00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,890
Oh, boy, grandma, that was
a great service this morning,
255
00:10:42,057 --> 00:10:43,100
don't you think?
256
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,978
Well, I think the pastor talked
too much about forgiveness.
257
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:50,482
Some people
shouldn't be forgiven.
258
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,152
This is why theology
is such a rich topic--
259
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:55,904
you know, bernice, some people
don't need forgiveness.
260
00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:58,031
They just need a little
understanding.
261
00:10:58,198 --> 00:11:00,784
Oh, too true,
have you seen godspell?
262
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,329
You know what
I don't understand
263
00:11:04,496 --> 00:11:06,790
is how in hell
a brilliant young man
264
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,209
like my red could have
thrown away everything--
265
00:11:09,376 --> 00:11:10,961
grandma, why don't
we go into the living room
266
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,088
and I'll rub your feet?
267
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,887
What a wonderful boy! Oh!
268
00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:21,930
Look at how thin you are.
269
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:24,641
Is your mother
feeding you enough?
270
00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:26,351
You should come
and live with me.
271
00:11:26,518 --> 00:11:28,103
Ha, ha, ahh... no.
272
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:32,191
Oh, hi. I was just
on my way to the garage
273
00:11:32,357 --> 00:11:35,402
to, uh, fix...This.
274
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,155
Dad, just watch your game.
275
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,783
Nah, nah. It's just
the packers. Uh...
276
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,953
Eric, where have
you been hiding?
277
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,914
Well, I've been doing
some homework.
278
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,248
Oh, that's important.
279
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,750
Yeah, you know, actually
it's a really interesting--
280
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:53,962
Eric, a little less talk
and a little more rubbing.
281
00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:57,716
You're the only one who's
not afraid of my bunion.
282
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,384
Oh boy.
283
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,638
Aah. Aah. Ooh.
284
00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:05,891
Good-bye, Eric.
I am going home now.
285
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,394
No! I mean, Fez,
you haven't met grandma.
286
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:12,105
Oh, hello, grandma.
287
00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:16,568
Oh, in my village,
we worship feet.
288
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:20,739
And these dogs
are a holy treasure.
289
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,033
You want to rub them?
290
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,117
May I?
291
00:12:24,284 --> 00:12:26,578
Knock yourself out.
292
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,713
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
293
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,591
Ohh! Ohh!
294
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,349
Hey, dad.
295
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,936
Damn it, Eric!
296
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:56,650
Don't sneak up on a person like
that when they're doing...This.
297
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,277
How's it going in there?
298
00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:00,153
I rubbed her feet.
299
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,364
Well, you're a brave one.
300
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:05,117
Better get back in there.
301
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,745
Hey, dad,
you coming back inside?
302
00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:13,834
Eric...i love your grandmother
very, very much.
303
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:18,463
I just can't talk to her
or spend any time with her.
304
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:22,843
Did I mention that i'm
in there rubbing her feet?
305
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,303
You know, son,
306
00:13:24,469 --> 00:13:28,765
sometimes you just got
to play through the pain.
307
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:31,643
What?
308
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:32,519
I don't know.
309
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,813
Just get back in there.
310
00:13:35,522 --> 00:13:37,232
With their
sugar-coated ideals
311
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,235
designed to anesthetize
the ignorant masses.
312
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,488
Why? So that the
militaryicorporate branches
313
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:46,450
could carry out
world domination.
314
00:13:46,616 --> 00:13:48,910
All right.
Read that back to me.
315
00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:51,163
Ok.
[Clears throat]
316
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:55,709
Woh woh woh woh woh.
317
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:57,919
You didn't get that?
318
00:13:58,086 --> 00:14:00,005
All right.
Let's just use the encyclopedia.
319
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,090
Oh, oh, you just
want to vomit up facts
320
00:14:02,257 --> 00:14:03,550
from an encyclopedia?
321
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:04,468
Yes.
322
00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,053
Ok. Fine.
You know what? Vomit away.
323
00:14:06,219 --> 00:14:08,263
I will not be
a part of this, then.
324
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,141
Eric, are you down here?
325
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,351
He's not down here,
Mrs. Forman.
326
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,227
Donna, good, why don't you
come up and eat with us?
327
00:14:14,394 --> 00:14:15,687
I need all the help
I can get.
328
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:18,065
Not you, Steven.
Grandma doesn't like you.
329
00:14:19,232 --> 00:14:20,692
You lucky bastard.
330
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:21,985
Well, what am I
supposed to eat?
331
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:26,615
Oh, um, you know help
yourself to the deep freeze.
332
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,368
But everything's frozen.
333
00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:33,246
And I have a dryer.
334
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,341
Honey, these, uh,
cheesy potatoes are delicious.
335
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,677
Mmm.
336
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:50,806
Thank you, honey.
337
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,351
They really are great,
Mrs. Forman.
338
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,604
We have them whenever
grandma comes over,
339
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:01,525
'cause mom knows how much
she loves them, right, grandma?
340
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,986
They make me sick.
341
00:15:05,153 --> 00:15:07,656
I'm allergic to dairy.
342
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:10,742
Oh, how sad.
343
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,661
Ma, this is Wisconsin.
344
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,664
You're not
allergic to dairy.
345
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,375
Well, maybe she's just
allergic to my dairy. Ha ha.
346
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,669
If you're allergic
to dairy,
347
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,295
you shouldn't be putting
cream in your coffee.
348
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:23,213
I mean, cream is dairy.
349
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,550
Donna, I just--
no, no, no, ok?
350
00:15:26,716 --> 00:15:28,176
You shut up, Eric.
351
00:15:28,343 --> 00:15:31,221
Who the hell are you?
352
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,891
Grandma, that's Donna.
You've known her for 16 years.
353
00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:36,685
I have not.
354
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,521
Anyway, I like
your new friend better.
355
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,983
The feeling is mutual.
356
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,193
Done!
357
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,405
I thought I heard a noise
in the, uh, garage.
358
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,407
Raccoons.
359
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,200
Bye.
360
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,122
Well, um, I couldn't
eat another bite.
361
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,416
I've had enough.
362
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:03,086
I'm going back downstairs.
Excuse me.
363
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:08,258
So, let's say we watch
Lawrence Welk,huh, grandma?
364
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,551
No, I'm going to watch
Lawrence Welk
365
00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:11,303
with my new friend.
366
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,598
You up for another
foot rub, desl?
367
00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:19,603
Ooh...fry time
368
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:22,772
hot, hot.
369
00:16:22,939 --> 00:16:23,440
What are you doing?
370
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,692
Huh? Uh...Just working
on your report here
371
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,819
and...having some fries.
372
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:30,238
You put French fries
in my mom's dryer?
373
00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:33,867
Yeah, well, the fish sticks
are too flaky, so I just...
374
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,619
I don't need anything.
375
00:16:37,537 --> 00:16:38,914
Finally.
376
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,624
Where have
you guys been?
377
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,876
We had to look
for the paper.
378
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:43,919
And...
379
00:16:44,085 --> 00:16:46,296
Eat, and then some
stuff happened, you know.
380
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:47,506
Your shirt's on
inside out.
381
00:16:47,672 --> 00:16:50,884
Yeah, that's...The stuff.
382
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,135
Where's the paper?
383
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,303
Right. Ok, see,
384
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,722
it wasn't on the three
branches of the government.
385
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,849
It was on the
four food groups.
386
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,187
Ok, look, my dad's
got the world books.
387
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,605
I'll just run next door
and get "g."
388
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,565
Ooh. I'll go with you.
389
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,444
You can break up
with her now.
390
00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:12,906
You know, I'm tired
of everybody
391
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,743
trying to tear
me and Jackie apart!
392
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:20,580
Moron. Every day you say
you're breaking up with her.
393
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:24,918
Well...you guys
don't know her like I do.
394
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:28,797
I mean, it's not just
about foolin' around.
395
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,174
She buys me stuff.
396
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:34,844
She hoovered
your chest, man.
397
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:37,055
You know what?
398
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,349
I don't care anymore.
399
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,309
All I wanted was
a little help with my paper,
400
00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:42,769
and you've done nothing.
401
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,605
We put your
middle name in.
402
00:17:45,772 --> 00:17:48,858
Jean-Claude?
403
00:17:49,025 --> 00:17:51,528
Yeah. It's two words.
404
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,321
You guys suck!
405
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:55,448
Just...thank god for Donna.
406
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,702
Ok. Bad news.
407
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,412
My mom sold some
at a garage sale,
408
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,957
but we have
"b," "x," and "r."
409
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,084
All right. All right.
410
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,961
Now, you listen up.
411
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,839
I have had an
extremely stressful day,
412
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,841
and I am not proud
of what I am about to say,
413
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,051
but someone
give me a cigarette.
414
00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:17,804
Now!
415
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,015
But, mom,
we don't smoke.
416
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,725
Cut the crap, Eric.
417
00:18:21,891 --> 00:18:22,976
I am a nurse.
418
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,687
I know that one in five
teenagers smoke.
419
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,814
1, 2, 3, 4, 5!
420
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,317
Now, I am going
to close my eyes,
421
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:31,526
and when I open them,
422
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,696
there had better be a cigarette
between these two fingers.
423
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:39,492
Come on, people, hop to!
424
00:18:39,659 --> 00:18:40,952
Thank you.
425
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,830
Light!
426
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:46,333
Red: Kitty!
427
00:18:46,499 --> 00:18:47,667
Kitty!
428
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,336
Kitty?
429
00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:52,047
Oh, there you are, red.
430
00:18:52,213 --> 00:18:53,298
Ma says
the cat bit her,
431
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,175
so I'm down here
lookin' for it.
432
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,553
Dad, we don't have a cat.
433
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,597
That's what I thought.
434
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,860
Well, uh...
435
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,111
You know, we really--
we shouldn't leave
436
00:19:15,278 --> 00:19:28,583
your poor little foreign friend
up there alone with grandma.
437
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:32,295
So, really,
it's kind of nice down here.
438
00:19:39,594 --> 00:19:41,429
[Laughing]
439
00:19:41,596 --> 00:19:44,683
Oh, thank you for
a wonderful dinner.
440
00:19:44,849 --> 00:19:47,227
Well, you are
so very welcome.
441
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,479
I hope I wasn't any bother.
442
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,064
Oh, ma, you're no bother.
443
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,316
You're as welcome as...
444
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,111
Flowers in may.
445
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:57,821
Bernice, here,
I wrapped up some chicken
446
00:19:57,987 --> 00:19:58,947
for you to take home.
447
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,700
Ohh, thank you, dear.
448
00:20:01,866 --> 00:20:04,786
And i--i hope you put some of
those cheesy potatoes in there.
449
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,247
You know how much
I love them.
450
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,457
What?!
451
00:20:09,624 --> 00:20:10,709
I thought you made
such a big deal
452
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:11,793
about how you
were allergic to--
453
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,253
red: Eric!
454
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,379
It's been a
perfectly nice Sunday.
455
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,506
Let's not spoil it.
456
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,928
Sweetheart, I hope
I didn't make too big a deal
457
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,513
about my allergy.
458
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,390
Oh, no, ma.
459
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,308
He's a kid.
He, uh...
460
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:28,852
He overreacts.
461
00:20:30,186 --> 00:20:34,190
You know, this is
the cutest little car.
462
00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:36,860
I just love it.
463
00:20:40,071 --> 00:20:42,449
825, 826--
464
00:20:42,615 --> 00:20:43,616
Eric?
465
00:20:43,783 --> 00:20:44,451
What are you doing?
466
00:20:44,617 --> 00:20:46,119
It's 1 o'clock
in the morning.
467
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,955
I'm just finishing up
some homework.
468
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,498
What are you doing
down here?
469
00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:52,584
Oh, well, um...
470
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:56,921
Snow white came down
to gun a stick.
471
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:59,048
Look, mom, i--i wish
you wouldn't smoke.
472
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:03,261
I know, I know.
This is my last one, I promise.
473
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,682
By the way, um...
474
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:10,518
Thanks for your help
with your grandma today.
475
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:11,436
Can I ask you
a question?
476
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,229
Mm-hmm.
477
00:21:13,396 --> 00:21:17,192
What does she have
against you, mom?
478
00:21:17,358 --> 00:21:19,110
Well...
479
00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:21,404
About 25 years ago,
your father was dating
480
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:25,658
this very attractive
well-to-do woman
481
00:21:25,825 --> 00:21:28,953
that your grandma liked,
and, um...
482
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,956
He married me instead.
483
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:35,043
And she never
forgave me.
484
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:38,129
That bitch.
485
00:21:51,142 --> 00:21:54,145
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and fox broadcasting company
486
00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,026
[Lawrence Welk band
plays on TV]
487
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,195
Now, who was the lady with
the cotton candy dress?
488
00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:05,073
That's Norma zimmer,
the champagne lady.
489
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,367
She is very talented.
490
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:08,493
And you see
those two dancing?
491
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:12,080
That's Bobby and cissy.
I like his tight pants.
492
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:14,082
Uh, she's a slut.
493
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,500
You know, I have seen
this show before,
494
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,586
but the band leader's voice
was much more masculine.
495
00:22:18,753 --> 00:22:21,840
Ahora, Bobby and cissy
con El grande tango.
496
00:22:22,006 --> 00:22:22,966
[Champagne cork pops]
497
00:22:23,132 --> 00:22:25,593
Ooh! Bubbles!
498
00:22:25,617 --> 00:22:30,617
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