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1
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,582
Daaaa...
2
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,667
A one, two, three...
3
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:52,213
Da, da, ba, da, da, ba, du-wa
4
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:56,050
Oh, oh, oooh...
5
00:02:56,217 --> 00:03:00,722
If Santa passes by my stocking
6
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,350
I promise not to mind a lot
7
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:09,147
The only thing I want for Christmas
8
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:13,067
Is just to keep the things that I've got
9
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:17,947
Loving arms around me
10
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,118
A garden of forget-me-nots
Forget-me-nots
11
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:29,125
The only thing I want for Christmas
All I want for Christmas
12
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:38,426
Is just to keep the things that I've...
go-o-o-ot...
13
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:45,475
Things that I've go-o-o-ot
14
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,234
Open your minds
15
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,569
Do or die I've gotta learn
that auction cry
16
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,530
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer
17
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:03,576
25 dollar bid and then a 30 dollar, 30
18
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,371
Will ya gimme 30, make it a 30 bid,
a 30 dollar
19
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:11,000
Will ya gimme 30,
who will-a give me a 30 dollar bid?
20
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,127
Got a 30 dollar bid and then a 35
21
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:16,172
Will ya gimme 35,
to make it 35, will ya 35?
22
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:19,717
Will ya gimme 5, 35 dollar bid
23
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,595
35 dollar bid and then a 40 dollar, 40
24
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,640
40, will ya gimme 40, make a 40 bid,
for 40 dollar
25
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:26,683
Will ya gimme 40?
26
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,643
Who will gimme a 40 dollar bid?
27
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,186
40, 40 dollar bid
28
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,188
Got a 40 dollar bid and then a 45
29
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,148
Will ya gimme 45 to make it 45?
30
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:38,319
Will ya gimme 5?
Sold that hog for a 45 dollar bid
31
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,030
Now, from the boy who went to school
32
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,865
There grew a man who played it cool
33
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,087
You, er, you ever been on a motorbike?
34
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,423
Oh, er, nah.
35
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,384
Never been with a biker then?
36
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,219
Me? A biker? No.
37
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:06,764
Have you?
38
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,016
No, I haven't, no.
39
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,935
Not my cup of tea.
40
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,690
So, er...
41
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,110
does your mum set you up
with lots of guys?
42
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,571
Er, no. Actually, you're the first.
43
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:22,864
Oh.
44
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,116
Lucky me.
45
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,916
I need a piss.
46
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:35,543
Coming?
47
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,296
Joking.
48
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,801
Er, one more and then...
49
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,095
let's make a move.
50
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:47,889
Great.
51
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,353
Wey!
52
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,021
-Oh, sorry. Sorry, lads.
-Chop, chop.
53
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,799
Who's next?
54
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,175
Hi.
55
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,052
-Erm...
-What crisps do you have?
56
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,891
Ready salted. Salt and vinegar.
Prawn cocktail.
57
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:33,684
We'll have one of each.
58
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,103
That's ?4.80.
59
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,627
-Ooh, yeah...
-That's it, yeah. That's okay.
60
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,923
Nice, okay. One more?
61
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,675
Please.
62
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,180
Hello?
63
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,431
Hiya.
64
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,570
How was it, Col?
65
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,572
You had a nice time?
66
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,949
Yeah. Yeah.
67
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,454
-Nice chap, isn't he?
-Mm-hmm.
68
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,917
Alright. Night, darling.
69
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,504
Stockings at eight, okay?
70
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,549
You won!
71
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,717
Amazing, Mum!
72
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,804
Hark the herald angels sing...
73
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,600
I want some figgy pudding,
I want some figgy pudding...
74
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,269
-You alright, Bax?
-Baxy, are you okay sweetheart?
75
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,979
You alright there, love? Yeah?
76
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,981
-Look, are you having your dinner?
-Here, give us your cracker.
77
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,900
Look, Nanny's done you a lovely dinner.
78
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,946
-That's it, open that cracker, aww...
-Here Dad, do the cracker with her.
79
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,322
-Come on.
-Did you get some play dough?
80
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,406
You wanna do it, yeah?
81
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,824
Oh, right. Here y'are...
82
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,036
What's his name?
83
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:58,829
Erm...
84
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,582
We didn't really, er...
85
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,960
-You don't know his name?
-I...I didn't ask, Don.
86
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,962
-I can wait nearby, if you want?
-No, it's fine.
87
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,171
It's okay.
88
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,589
Take the dog.
89
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,259
It's not clean.
I...I don't wanna take the dog.
90
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,845
What normal person asks someone for a date
on Christmas Day?
91
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,515
-Well, maybe he's alone.
-Yeah, maybe he's lonely.
92
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,184
Maybe I'll get my head bashed in
or something. I don't know.
93
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,186
Nonsense. Ignore your brother.
94
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,646
It's an adventure.
95
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,648
Since when did Colin like adventures?
96
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,859
Well, I think a biker sounds exciting.
97
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,737
You can borrow your dad's leather jacket.
98
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,709
Silent night
99
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,337
Holy night
100
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,174
All is calm
101
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,803
All is bright
102
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,807
Round yon virgin
103
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,185
Mother and child
104
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:10,109
Holy infant so tender and mild
105
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,988
Sleep in heavenly...
106
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:17,199
Oh...peace
107
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:24,206
Sleep in heavenly peace
108
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,800
Beautiful. Beautiful.
109
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,107
Erm...
110
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:16,008
Er...
111
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,313
Oh, bugger!
112
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,356
Leave it.
113
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,109
Er...just...leave it?
114
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,780
Ooh...
115
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,285
Mm.
116
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:48,332
What am I gonna do with you?
117
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,591
Whatever you want...
118
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:59,385
really.
119
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,720
Hold up your hands.
120
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:03,889
Other way.
121
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:04,849
Oh.
122
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,647
Oh!
123
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,857
I know this one, actually.
124
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:14,817
So, er...ready?
125
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:15,985
Ugh!
126
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,488
Oh, yeah.
127
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:20,531
Urgh.
128
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,411
Yeah. Wow, you're strong!
129
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,330
Uh...
130
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:31,500
Do you give?
131
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,835
What...excuse...?
132
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,211
Do you give?
133
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,464
Ee...ee...argh, yes!
134
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,631
Yes!
135
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:38,966
Ugh!
136
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:29,809
Sorry.
137
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,521
-Urgh.
-Down.
138
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,438
Erm...
139
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,482
Down?
140
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:37,608
Lick.
141
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,529
Erm...er...
142
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:43,989
Uh...
143
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,748
Like that? Erm, oh...
144
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,130
Huh.
145
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:03,843
Huh.
146
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,846
Hu, hu, hu, huh. Mm...
147
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,974
Mm...uh...
148
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,327
Alright.
149
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:48,804
Ah.
150
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,723
-Go...
-Urgh.
151
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,842
Alright.
152
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,349
Yeah.
153
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,310
Ray.
154
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:39,688
Colin.
155
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,611
Oh...
156
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,285
So, if you, erm, don't mind a little walk,
157
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,204
I saw a pub on my way here
158
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,664
that's open till midnight.
159
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,166
I've gotta go.
160
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:01,794
Hey, girl.
161
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,253
Oh...oh, oh...
162
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,380
Yeah, of course.
163
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,758
Of course you do.
164
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,259
Erm...
165
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,641
I'm...
166
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:16,892
I'm...
167
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,435
sorry I was a bit...
168
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,106
I was a bit hopeless earlier.
169
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,608
I guess like most things in life,
170
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,694
it just takes a bit of practice.
171
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:28,988
Yeah.
172
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,907
Maybe, erm...
173
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,704
I could practice with you?
174
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,623
Erm...
175
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,460
I'm not around much, so...
176
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,006
-Ah.
-Yeah.
177
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,134
Alright then, Colin.
178
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,428
Merry Christmas.
179
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:58,892
Thank you!
180
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:18,662
Hello.
181
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,247
He lives!
182
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,707
Yeah, just about.
183
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:25,419
I told you that cold air would
turn your throat inside out.
184
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,589
You have a nice time?
185
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,382
Mm.
186
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:32,843
Nice chap?
187
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:33,969
Mm. Yeah.
188
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,679
Mm. Did you get yourself a boyfriend?
189
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,974
Oh, no. Don't think so, Mum.
I...don't think he liked me that much.
190
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,100
Oh, of course he did.
191
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,231
Did you kiss?
192
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,734
I don't think that is any
of your business. So...
193
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,152
Well, fair enough.
194
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,070
Mm.
195
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,613
Right.
196
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,615
One more chocolate?
197
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:55,991
Mm.
198
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:20,682
Wanker.
199
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,857
Have you got plans tonight?
200
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,400
Nothing.
201
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,362
Any news from that biker chap of yours?
202
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,447
He's not my biker, Mum.
203
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:39,660
Anything I can do to help?
204
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,134
10...9...8...
205
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:58,220
7...6...5...
206
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,974
4...3...2...1...
207
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,685
Happy New Year!
208
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,422
No, no, no!
209
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,632
I'm sorry, I'm just
following orders, ma'am.
210
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,843
Excuse me?
211
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,095
Excuse me?
212
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,931
Hold on. Don't, ju...
213
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,225
Do you sleep well at night?
214
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,645
-Sorry, do I...do I sleep well at night?
-Yeah.
215
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,440
-I...I'm just following orders, ma'am.
-Following orders?
216
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,609
-If you wanna appeal there's a...
-Oh, I don't wanna appeal.
217
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,777
Come on, just take
your fucking ticket off!
218
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:01,700
Erm...
219
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:04,203
Hello?
220
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,331
Yeah, I'm at work.
-Excuse me?
221
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,708
-Erm...
-Excuse me, we're not done here.
222
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,752
Well, if I...if I leave early, yeah.
If...if I leave now.
223
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,378
You're not going anywhere!
224
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,297
Alright, I'll text you the address.
225
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,548
Are you deaf?!
226
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,759
Er, yeah. Erm, I shouldn't be long,
so, erm...
227
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,677
Fuck you, you fucking prick!
228
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,763
-Lovely.
-Go on, fuck off.
229
00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:24,765
Yeah, okay. Alright. See you in a bit.
230
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,270
Yeah.
231
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,858
-Col...
-Yeah?
232
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,276
What about these?
233
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,278
Yeah, he doesn't need a present, Mum.
234
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,782
Soap. Some nice soap.
235
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:43,575
Gosh.
236
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:45,994
-Pete...
-Erm...
237
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,997
Pete, have you taken that nice soap?
238
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,792
-What?
-Have you taken the nice soap?
239
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:03,679
Gosh, you're tall.
240
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,430
Er, sorry, Peggy.
241
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:06,974
Er, er, Peggy, Peter.
242
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,101
Erm, nice to meet you.
-Ray.
243
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:12,479
-How d'you do?
-Erm, time for a quick drink?
244
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,564
Er, no thank you. Not when I'm riding.
245
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,191
No, of course not. Oh.
What was I thinking?
246
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:20,153
Er, good lad, yeah.
Well, well, something soft?
247
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,781
-We'd better get going.
-Yeah.
248
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:26,159
You, er, you don't sound local, Ray.
Where's home?
249
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,203
Chislehurst.
250
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,413
Chislehurst.
251
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,872
Well, it's very nice.
252
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:34,293
I've never thought of Colin
as a Chislehurst sort of person.
253
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,295
Oh, he'll survive.
254
00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:40,632
Alright. Come on then, Colin.
255
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:41,883
Alright. Just...
256
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:43,093
Alright, yeah...
257
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:46,763
Oh, er, Ray, Ray, sorry to fuss but er,
258
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,348
you do have a spare helmet, yes?
259
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,475
-Yes.
-Only, he actually has to wear it.
260
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,226
Dad...
261
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,854
Because er, he...he...he's not getting on
without one.
262
00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:55,772
He is not getting on without one.
263
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:56,857
Great.
264
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,527
Nice bike.
265
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:01,611
Plain black.
266
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,113
None of this neon crap
267
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,073
like you see everywhere nowadays,
don't you?
268
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:06,950
Colin.
269
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,827
Yep, um...
270
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:10,287
yeah.
271
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:12,998
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
272
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,291
Yeah. Don't worry, Dad.
273
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,710
I'm...I'm not worried.
274
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,046
I rode a bike when I met Colin's mum.
275
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,591
And then sold it when the twins
come along.
276
00:22:22,966 --> 00:22:25,093
Bought a very expensive pram.
277
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,305
But I don't suppose you two
need to worry about that.
278
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:32,225
Not...
279
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,727
I mean, not yet anyway.
280
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:36,646
Oh!
281
00:22:43,111 --> 00:22:44,654
Alright then, be good! Right?
282
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,865
-Have fun!
-Watch out for the ice!
283
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,791
I think this jacket might be a bit crap.
284
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:39,918
But er...
285
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,796
Hey...hey, girl.
286
00:23:43,296 --> 00:23:45,215
-Hey.
-Oh, hello, Rosie.
287
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:46,633
You remember me?
288
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:50,137
Thank you.
289
00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:51,847
Shut the door.
290
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:53,598
One second.
291
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,159
It's a lovely flat.
292
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:49,946
Oh...
293
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:54,451
I didn't think you'd have a piano.
294
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,286
-No?
-No.
295
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:57,579
Don't seem like the sort.
296
00:24:57,871 --> 00:24:59,831
So, what "sort" do I seem like?
297
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:04,711
Oh, well, no, no. I meant it
as a compliment, you know.
298
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:06,338
Why don't I show you where everything is,
299
00:25:06,379 --> 00:25:07,797
and then you can make dinner.
300
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:09,132
Dinner?
301
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:11,551
Dinner.
302
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,473
I...erm...
303
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:19,476
I should say that I'm a bit
of a lousy cook.
304
00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:21,853
But erm, you know, I can give it a go.
305
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:25,357
Have you lived here long then, Ray?
306
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,526
Pots and pans down there.
307
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,404
And er, yeah...
308
00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:34,449
Something quick tonight.
309
00:25:35,408 --> 00:25:36,409
Pasta.
310
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,622
Go easy on the cheese.
311
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:53,885
Here we go.
312
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:56,054
Are we eating here or...?
313
00:25:56,096 --> 00:25:57,055
Yeah, here's good.
314
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,433
Right...
315
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:09,859
Come...
316
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,405
Down, down.
317
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,406
It's not for you.
318
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:16,449
Good girl.
319
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,982
Right, come on.
320
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,570
Time for bed.
321
00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:24,934
You a snorer?
322
00:27:26,227 --> 00:27:27,270
Sorry?
323
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:29,898
Do you snore?
324
00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:33,151
Oh, no. No, no, not that I know of.
325
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,283
-How's your bladder?
-My...
326
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:45,246
my...my bladder?
327
00:27:46,247 --> 00:27:47,916
Are you gonna wake me up
running to the bathroom
328
00:27:47,957 --> 00:27:49,250
in the middle of the night?
329
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,462
Erm...oh, I see. No. No.
330
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,339
I think my, erm...
331
00:27:54,964 --> 00:27:56,591
bladder's pretty good, actually.
332
00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,636
Well, if you're quiet,
you can sleep on the rug.
333
00:27:59,969 --> 00:28:01,221
The rug?
334
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,098
If not, you should go in the hallway.
335
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:19,776
Sorry if this is not to your liking.
336
00:30:21,402 --> 00:30:22,612
I'm no barista.
337
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:35,250
Do I pass then?
338
00:30:41,756 --> 00:30:44,259
What do I...get if I pass?
339
00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:19,586
Ugh...
340
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,924
Yes, you can do it!
341
00:31:27,176 --> 00:31:28,511
-Do you give?
-No!
342
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:29,429
-Agh!
-Give!
343
00:32:13,139 --> 00:32:15,475
-Give?!
-I give! I give!
344
00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:17,894
-Come on!
-I give!
345
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,270
Uh...
346
00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:21,773
Don't move.
347
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:35,912
On your front.
348
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:14,385
Gah...
349
00:34:36,282 --> 00:34:38,618
Argh...
350
00:34:39,702 --> 00:34:40,995
Uh-uh...
351
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:55,676
I'm sorry about that.
352
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,638
I didn't think it was gonna hurt so much.
353
00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:01,891
Erm...
354
00:35:01,974 --> 00:35:03,476
shall I finish you off?
355
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,187
Nah, I'm good.
356
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:27,458
Oh...
357
00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:30,002
Thanks for having me.
358
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:33,172
I had a lovely time.
359
00:35:37,176 --> 00:35:38,386
Here we are.
360
00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:47,979
Alright then, I'll be off.
361
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,316
Don't come back before six.
362
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,779
If you do, you'll have to wait outside.
363
00:35:57,864 --> 00:36:00,074
Erm...er...
364
00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,536
What, six today?
365
00:36:04,036 --> 00:36:06,622
Oh, sorry, are you busy tonight?
366
00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,208
Is there a booming market for Colin Smiths
367
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:10,459
that I'm not aware of?
368
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,087
Well, no, but it's just...
369
00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:14,505
What?
370
00:36:15,214 --> 00:36:16,174
Yeah. Erm...
371
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:17,967
see you at six.
372
00:36:19,635 --> 00:36:21,304
I need you to pick up some things.
373
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:23,556
Here.
374
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:25,391
I'll text you a shopping list.
375
00:36:25,766 --> 00:36:27,101
Yeah, okay. Yep.
376
00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,062
You can keep these.
377
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,272
I don't eat chocolate.
378
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:32,273
Well, no.
379
00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:33,900
Of course you don't. I mean...
380
00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:35,693
And buy yourself a butt plug.
381
00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:37,570
You're too tight.
382
00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:39,363
Yeah!
383
00:36:39,780 --> 00:36:41,157
Yeah, yeah. Erm...
384
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,243
Lovely, that sounds like a plan.
385
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:50,833
Bye, then.
386
00:36:56,964 --> 00:36:57,965
Erm...
387
00:38:25,344 --> 00:38:26,887
-That's him?
-Yeah.
388
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:29,140
That's your boyfriend?
389
00:38:29,181 --> 00:38:30,975
Well, no, he's not my boyfriend.
390
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,728
We, er, we have an arrangement.
391
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:36,647
How'd you get a man like that?
392
00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:42,445
Well, he says that I have an aptitude
for devotion.
393
00:38:48,284 --> 00:38:49,618
See you tomorrow!
394
00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:16,604
Try these on.
395
00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:20,191
Try what on?
396
00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:38,709
Uh...
397
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:39,835
Ray?
398
00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,271
It's, er...
399
00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:01,982
Ahh...
400
00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:04,985
Do you like it?
401
00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:24,004
Happy birthday to you
402
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:27,716
Happy birthday to you
403
00:40:31,303 --> 00:40:36,100
Happy birthday, dear Colin
404
00:40:36,642 --> 00:40:40,563
Happy birthday to you
405
00:40:41,021 --> 00:40:42,273
Er, sorry.
406
00:40:43,190 --> 00:40:44,567
It's Ray. Hello?
407
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,403
Yeah, sure. No problem.
408
00:40:50,781 --> 00:40:52,324
Er, yeah, sorry. One second.
409
00:40:58,539 --> 00:40:59,415
Ready.
410
00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:03,043
Yep.
411
00:41:07,506 --> 00:41:09,675
Alright, I'll see you in about
an hour then.
412
00:41:14,263 --> 00:41:15,431
Sorry about that.
413
00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:20,728
Oh, yeah.
414
00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:23,772
-Yay.
-Ay.
415
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:28,652
Everything okay?
416
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:29,778
Mm-hmm.
417
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:31,655
So, erm...
418
00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,617
when are we gonna get to meet
this Ray of yours, then?
419
00:41:34,783 --> 00:41:36,285
You have, haven't you?
420
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:39,914
But for half a second
in the dark three months ago.
421
00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:44,793
Your mum used to parade me
around town like a prize cow.
422
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:47,755
Mm. We're not that embarrassing, are we?
423
00:41:49,089 --> 00:41:50,424
-No, no, you're not.
-Right.
424
00:41:50,466 --> 00:41:52,510
Well, let's get a date in the diary.
425
00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:54,553
Sooner rather than later.
426
00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:58,641
Oh...
427
00:41:59,266 --> 00:42:01,101
Having something nice for dinner?
428
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,937
Yeah, potato dauphinoise.
429
00:42:02,978 --> 00:42:04,396
Ooh, fancy.
430
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,190
Is Ray a good cook, then?
431
00:42:06,398 --> 00:42:08,692
Oh no, I'm cooking. Ray...
Ray doesn't cook.
432
00:42:09,276 --> 00:42:10,653
Oh...oh...
433
00:42:10,736 --> 00:42:14,907
Right, so he's making you buy and cook
your own birthday dinner?
434
00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:16,534
Yeah. I mean, I...I don't mind.
435
00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:19,245
-So, it's f...
-Yeah, but it's your birthday, Colin.
436
00:42:19,745 --> 00:42:20,996
You should be spoilt rotten.
437
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:24,291
If Ray can't cook, he could at least
take you out somewhere nice.
438
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:25,376
Some...
439
00:43:18,887 --> 00:43:20,222
Do you wanna say something?
440
00:43:23,142 --> 00:43:24,268
No.
441
00:43:26,812 --> 00:43:27,813
You sure?
442
00:43:28,772 --> 00:43:29,773
Yeah.
443
00:43:30,941 --> 00:43:31,984
Yeah.
444
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:39,325
Well, actually there is...
there is something.
445
00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:41,577
Erm, I was, er...
446
00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:45,372
wondering if maybe you might wanna
come have dinner
447
00:43:45,372 --> 00:43:46,790
with my parents some time?
448
00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:51,253
Er...
449
00:43:52,921 --> 00:43:54,965
Er, dinner with your parents?
450
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:55,966
Yeah.
451
00:43:58,927 --> 00:44:00,888
And you'd like that?
452
00:44:01,138 --> 00:44:03,641
Yeah. Nah, I mean, you know, they would.
453
00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:07,394
Er...
454
00:44:09,438 --> 00:44:11,690
Yeah, I don't think that's
a very good idea.
455
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:16,904
Okay.
456
00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,120
-Nope.
-Sorry.
457
00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:35,381
Could you, er, maybe be persuaded?
458
00:44:35,381 --> 00:44:38,133
You know, could it, could it be,
like, erm...
459
00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:40,219
a birthday present, maybe?
460
00:44:40,552 --> 00:44:42,638
I hope you're not expecting
a birthday present, Colin.
461
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,683
No, no, I'm not. It's, it's just...Mum,
462
00:44:46,141 --> 00:44:47,601
she wants to meet you properly.
463
00:44:48,060 --> 00:44:48,977
And erm...
464
00:44:53,232 --> 00:44:55,401
well, she's quite ill, you know, she's...
465
00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:57,403
she's dying, actually.
466
00:44:57,444 --> 00:44:59,029
But I don't wanna force you to...
467
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:00,197
-No?
-No.
468
00:45:01,198 --> 00:45:03,575
Okay, well, it sounds like
469
00:45:03,617 --> 00:45:05,786
that is exactly what
you're trying to do here.
470
00:45:05,869 --> 00:45:07,996
-No, I'm not.
-You are. You are.
471
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:11,333
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
472
00:45:13,752 --> 00:45:16,088
Oh, you couldn't upset me if you tried.
473
00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:22,594
You seem pretty upset, so...
474
00:45:25,305 --> 00:45:26,557
So...what?
475
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:31,186
Hm?
476
00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:04,696
No way!
477
00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:08,700
For he's a jolly good fellow
478
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:11,161
For he's a jolly good fellow
479
00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:13,038
And so say all of us
480
00:47:13,622 --> 00:47:15,457
Light the candle, birthday boy!
481
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:40,918
First one in buys a round of drinks!
482
00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:45,547
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
483
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,215
-Fuckin' hell...
-Fuck me!
484
00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:48,675
Argh! Fuck!
485
00:49:01,355 --> 00:49:03,440
Now, bring him up.
Get that net under him.
486
00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:04,608
Go on...
487
00:49:04,691 --> 00:49:06,068
Hey!
488
00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:08,612
Hey, hey, hey!
-Go on, Colin, what you got?
489
00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:14,076
Grab his arm...come on!
490
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,079
Keep your...push him!
491
00:49:17,162 --> 00:49:18,538
I'm trying, Ray.
492
00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:24,836
Sorry. I'm sorry. I...
493
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:29,591
Steve!
494
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:31,551
Can I borrow Kevin?
495
00:49:32,678 --> 00:49:33,887
You can have Colin.
496
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:36,264
Fine!
497
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:42,980
Oh, dear, Colin,
you've been subbed out, mate.
498
00:49:45,565 --> 00:49:47,609
-Come on, Kevin!
-Here he comes...
499
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:50,779
Oh yeah!
500
00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:53,824
Champion.
501
00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:55,409
Go on, Kevin!
502
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:57,703
Alright, bitches. Come on.
503
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:58,787
Let's do it. Woo!
504
00:49:59,705 --> 00:50:01,331
Stop pouting, Colin!
505
00:50:04,668 --> 00:50:08,255
Come on! Yeah! Come on!
506
00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:10,465
-Come on! Pull him...
-Yargh!
507
00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:13,051
Pull him. Oh, yes!
508
00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:18,098
Oh, yes! Yes! Nice one!
-Woo!
509
00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:19,808
Yeah!
510
00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:22,185
Woo!
511
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:25,063
Who's next?
512
00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:35,782
Oh, yeah.
513
00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:39,619
Right, need time out.
Time out, time out, time out...
514
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,414
Oh!
515
00:50:51,673 --> 00:50:53,550
So, how's it going with you and Ray?
516
00:50:54,342 --> 00:50:55,385
It's erm...
517
00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,555
it's going good. Yeah, it, it's great.
518
00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:00,432
-Mm?
-Mm.
519
00:51:00,682 --> 00:51:02,476
You guys look really good together.
520
00:51:04,603 --> 00:51:06,271
-Thank you.
-No, I mean it.
521
00:51:07,022 --> 00:51:09,858
He really is impossibly handsome.
522
00:51:10,859 --> 00:51:12,402
You sort of...
523
00:51:13,153 --> 00:51:15,030
bring his qualities into relief.
524
00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:18,200
Do you two never kiss?
525
00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:19,701
No.
526
00:51:22,537 --> 00:51:23,705
-Don't you miss it?
-No.
527
00:51:28,543 --> 00:51:30,253
I couldn't put up with no kissing.
528
00:51:30,754 --> 00:51:32,214
It would drive me nuts.
529
00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:21,429
Nice bike, mate!
530
00:52:22,764 --> 00:52:23,765
Come on, then.
531
00:55:06,761 --> 00:55:07,762
On your back.
532
00:56:56,746 --> 00:56:58,248
Happy birthday, Colin.
533
00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:22,165
I hope you're not keeping
your hair like that
534
00:58:22,207 --> 00:58:25,001
to make me feel better,
because it doesn't.
535
00:58:26,294 --> 00:58:28,087
Your hair was your best feature.
536
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:30,548
Well, Ray likes it like this.
537
00:58:30,590 --> 00:58:33,885
Mm, right. So, er, is Ray a hairdresser?
538
00:58:34,719 --> 00:58:35,720
I don't know.
539
00:58:36,429 --> 00:58:37,430
I told you, he's discreet.
540
00:58:37,472 --> 00:58:39,432
Yeah. But what does that actually mean?
541
00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:42,018
It just means, Mum, don't
ask personal questions.
542
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,732
Right, that's enough. Come on.
543
00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:53,863
Cheers, everyone. Thanks for coming, boys.
544
00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:57,200
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
545
00:58:59,244 --> 00:59:01,454
Mm, tuck in.
546
00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:04,541
Oh, um...
547
00:59:07,585 --> 00:59:08,545
Mm.
548
00:59:09,128 --> 00:59:10,672
British summer we're having.
549
00:59:11,297 --> 00:59:12,757
Remember South Africa?
550
00:59:12,799 --> 00:59:15,134
-Mm.
-Our honeymoon.
551
00:59:15,426 --> 00:59:17,428
Mm. Amazing place, though.
552
00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:19,806
Have you...do you mi...am I allow...
553
00:59:19,889 --> 00:59:21,516
Can I ask, have you ever been?
554
00:59:21,933 --> 00:59:22,892
No.
555
00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:24,227
Oh.
556
00:59:24,769 --> 00:59:26,437
Amazing place.
557
00:59:27,438 --> 00:59:31,234
Yeah, my er, my doctor's advised me
to wear these socks.
558
00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:32,944
You know, he says they'll
make a real difference.
559
00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:34,404
I mean, have you tried them?
560
00:59:34,445 --> 00:59:35,905
-Compression socks?
-Yeah.
561
00:59:35,947 --> 00:59:37,574
Erm, er, no.
-They...
562
00:59:37,740 --> 00:59:39,993
hold you apparently and stop you...
anyway,
563
00:59:40,118 --> 00:59:42,245
Do you...do you fly a lot, Ray?
564
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:44,247
Not really.
565
00:59:48,793 --> 00:59:51,462
Mm, this gravy is incredible.
566
00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:53,631
Best gravy in Bromley.
567
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,049
What's your secret?
568
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:56,801
If you don't mind...
569
00:59:57,468 --> 00:59:59,304
Er, oh, no.
570
00:59:59,512 --> 01:00:01,598
Erm, well, I erm...
571
01:00:02,432 --> 01:00:04,559
I er, put the chicken on a rack
572
01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:06,978
so that all of the juices...
573
01:00:12,191 --> 01:00:13,151
Sorry.
574
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:14,569
Erm...
575
01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:18,948
I, erm, put the chicken
on a rack and erm...
576
01:00:21,534 --> 01:00:24,412
let the juices from the chicken
go onto the veg.
577
01:00:24,412 --> 01:00:26,414
And then once the chicken's done,
I remove it,
578
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:29,292
and then into those veg
with all the chicken juices,
579
01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:33,796
I add a little bit of flour
and a dash of hot sauce.
580
01:00:34,172 --> 01:00:36,382
Oh, hot sauce, huh?
581
01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:37,717
Yeah.
582
01:00:38,801 --> 01:00:40,511
Colin makes a good gravy.
583
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:41,929
Mm...
584
01:00:42,180 --> 01:00:44,766
Colin makes a pretty good
omelette, but that's about it.
585
01:00:52,774 --> 01:00:53,941
What's up with you?
586
01:00:56,277 --> 01:00:57,445
What's...up with me?
587
01:00:57,487 --> 01:00:59,030
-Yeah, what's up with you?
-Mum, let's...
588
01:00:59,072 --> 01:00:59,989
let's talk about something else.
589
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:01,616
Yeah, I agree. I think we can...
590
01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:03,201
we can talk about...
-What...no, no, no, no, no.
591
01:01:03,242 --> 01:01:04,410
-Can't we change the...
-'Cause, you know, Ray,
592
01:01:04,410 --> 01:01:05,578
'cause I'm not one to judge.
593
01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:07,163
I'm just interested.
594
01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:08,998
What's your secret?
595
01:01:09,374 --> 01:01:11,417
Have...have you got another life?
596
01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:15,088
Have you got...have you got
a husband somewhere?
597
01:01:15,171 --> 01:01:17,298
-Peggy...
-Or a...a wife?
598
01:01:17,382 --> 01:01:19,550
Is, is that what discreet actually means?
599
01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:22,887
Does it just mean that you've got
two wives and ten kids?
600
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,764
You...you don't have to say. Alright?
601
01:01:25,890 --> 01:01:27,600
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind.
602
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:30,645
I'm sorry.
603
01:01:34,399 --> 01:01:36,859
I'm not sure I like the way
you talk to my son.
604
01:01:38,319 --> 01:01:39,654
Well, that is fine.
605
01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:42,073
It's not for you to like.
606
01:01:43,574 --> 01:01:44,659
Excuse me?
607
01:01:50,498 --> 01:01:52,500
I can see that I make you uncomfortable.
608
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:57,547
That...our relationship makes
you uncomfortable.
609
01:02:00,174 --> 01:02:04,011
But...deciding that what makes
you uncomfortable
610
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:06,180
is bad for your son...
611
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:12,729
Honestly, that's a pretty backwards way
of thinking.
612
01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:14,814
I beg your pardon?
613
01:02:15,523 --> 01:02:17,316
I'm just saying you sound
a little ignorant.
614
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:20,653
Well, you sound like a cunt.
615
01:02:20,778 --> 01:02:23,322
-Mum!
-No, I'm sorry, Col.
616
01:02:23,906 --> 01:02:26,242
I'd like to know, before I die,
617
01:02:26,284 --> 01:02:29,871
I'd like to know if my son
is going out with a nutjob.
618
01:02:29,912 --> 01:02:31,330
Is that too much to ask?
619
01:02:31,414 --> 01:02:32,540
-Let's talk about something else.
-Yeah, let's...
620
01:02:32,582 --> 01:02:34,417
Colin, you don't know who he is.
621
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:35,793
You don't know what he does.
622
01:02:35,877 --> 01:02:37,920
You don't know if he's a hairdresser
623
01:02:37,962 --> 01:02:39,380
or a serial killer.
624
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:40,506
He could be on the run!
625
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,092
Well, he's too good looking
to be on the run.
626
01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:45,011
He...he'd turn too many heads.
627
01:02:45,052 --> 01:02:46,387
He wouldn't get away with it.
628
01:02:46,512 --> 01:02:49,098
Well...he...he is very good looking.
629
01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:50,475
He's a creep!
630
01:02:50,933 --> 01:02:53,603
Our son is going out
with a good-looking creep,
631
01:02:53,644 --> 01:02:56,731
and you, you're encouraging him.
-Now then, stop it, you don't...
632
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,084
Well...you...
633
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:18,961
Colin...
634
01:03:19,045 --> 01:03:22,507
Colin come on, don't...
don't be like that. Colin!
635
01:03:38,397 --> 01:03:41,400
Roses are red, violets are blue .
636
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:44,445
Each day at your heel,
brings me closer to you.
637
01:03:48,574 --> 01:03:51,494
Your hand on the throttle,
your leathers so tight.
638
01:03:52,328 --> 01:03:54,664
I crave your command
from morning to night.
639
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:03,089
Your grip is a promise,
your gaze a hot flame.
640
01:04:03,965 --> 01:04:06,509
Next to you I am nothing,
but I'm yours all the same.
641
01:04:06,551 --> 01:04:07,635
Oh, yes.
642
01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:09,971
Open wide, baby.
643
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:13,975
Aah!
644
01:04:18,479 --> 01:04:21,691
The pleasure you give,
the pain that you bring.
645
01:04:22,567 --> 01:04:25,987
I'll take it all, Ray,
for you are my king.
646
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:46,048
In the village of Great Dunmow,
647
01:04:47,008 --> 01:04:49,051
there's a side of bacon
648
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,554
given every year to the couple
649
01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:53,306
who haven't had a single quarrel.
650
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,978
Well, me and Peggy could've
won that bacon every year.
651
01:04:59,478 --> 01:05:02,148
We had every possible qualification.
652
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:05,735
Apart from not living in Great Dunmow.
653
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:09,530
Erm...
654
01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:13,284
As we gather, er, today,
655
01:05:14,076 --> 01:05:15,745
to say goodbye to Peggy,
656
01:05:17,872 --> 01:05:21,125
let's not...let's not focus
on the sadness,
657
01:05:21,667 --> 01:05:23,002
let's, erm...
658
01:05:23,669 --> 01:05:26,631
let's celebrate a...a lovely life.
659
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:36,724
Sorry.
660
01:06:34,740 --> 01:06:35,866
So, er...
661
01:06:38,411 --> 01:06:39,453
how was it?
662
01:06:40,121 --> 01:06:41,122
It was good.
663
01:06:43,958 --> 01:06:45,209
It was a good turnout.
664
01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:46,919
Oh, nice.
665
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,598
Colin?
666
01:07:47,646 --> 01:07:49,273
Lemme see your hands.
-It's fine.
667
01:07:49,607 --> 01:07:51,776
-Lemme see.
-It's fine.
668
01:07:52,777 --> 01:07:54,153
Okay, we need to...
669
01:07:55,821 --> 01:07:57,406
get some cold water on them, okay.
670
01:08:04,038 --> 01:08:06,457
It's gonna sting a little.
671
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:09,085
Yargh! Ah!
672
01:08:11,837 --> 01:08:12,922
Fuck!
673
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:16,509
Argh.
674
01:08:20,554 --> 01:08:22,556
Try and hold your hands under the water.
675
01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,008
Thank you.
676
01:09:10,354 --> 01:09:11,188
Mm.
677
01:09:23,325 --> 01:09:26,036
Hey, erm, do you wanna hear a pizza joke?
678
01:09:31,792 --> 01:09:33,752
Nah, it's too cheesy.
679
01:09:41,552 --> 01:09:43,429
Are you gonna eat or do you
want me to keep going?
680
01:09:43,429 --> 01:09:44,847
'Cause I've got plenty
of pizza jokes here.
681
01:09:44,889 --> 01:09:47,391
-I'm gonna start eating.
-I can go all night, baby.
682
01:10:00,362 --> 01:10:01,488
Sleep in the bed.
683
01:10:04,700 --> 01:10:07,244
It's fine, I'm feeling much better now.
684
01:10:09,705 --> 01:10:10,998
It wasn't a question.
685
01:10:51,372 --> 01:10:52,915
You know I love you, right?
686
01:10:58,128 --> 01:10:59,004
Yeah.
687
01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:01,507
But what...
688
01:11:03,008 --> 01:11:04,635
That's not what this is, Colin.
689
01:11:06,679 --> 01:11:07,805
That's not the point.
690
01:11:10,391 --> 01:11:11,267
Isn't...
691
01:11:12,142 --> 01:11:13,644
love the whole point?
692
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:15,521
Of what?
693
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:19,358
Everything.
694
01:13:51,969 --> 01:13:52,928
Erm...
695
01:13:53,762 --> 01:13:55,097
Could I ask you something?
696
01:13:57,099 --> 01:13:59,101
-Mm-hmm.
-Err...it's I...
697
01:14:00,519 --> 01:14:01,645
I've been thinking...
698
01:14:02,521 --> 01:14:04,606
and er...you really, look,
699
01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:06,733
you don't have to say yes,
I know it was a...
700
01:14:06,817 --> 01:14:08,485
it was a sort of one-off thing.
701
01:14:09,153 --> 01:14:10,195
But, erm...
702
01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,031
I was wondering if maybe I could...
703
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:15,451
sleep in your bed a bit more often?
704
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:21,457
Not, not all the time, obviously. Erm...
705
01:14:22,416 --> 01:14:23,834
but maybe...
706
01:14:25,294 --> 01:14:26,336
once a week?
707
01:14:31,091 --> 01:14:32,509
In fact, maybe, erm...
708
01:14:34,928 --> 01:14:37,181
once a week we could sort of have a, er...
709
01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:39,433
a day off?
710
01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:41,852
Hmm?
711
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:43,896
You know, a day where we...
712
01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:46,190
wake up in bed together,
713
01:14:48,108 --> 01:14:49,568
eat breakfast at the table.
714
01:14:50,277 --> 01:14:51,278
Erm...
715
01:14:53,238 --> 01:14:54,740
I don't know,
716
01:14:54,781 --> 01:14:56,992
play a duet on the piano,
that sort of thing.
717
01:15:00,704 --> 01:15:02,164
Not every day, I really...
718
01:15:02,873 --> 01:15:04,458
oh, I wouldn't want that. But...
719
01:15:06,668 --> 01:15:08,003
once a week...it could be nice.
720
01:15:08,086 --> 01:15:09,087
It could be fun.
721
01:15:09,630 --> 01:15:10,631
For both of us.
722
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:15,594
No.
723
01:15:20,766 --> 01:15:21,642
No?
724
01:15:22,434 --> 01:15:23,310
No.
725
01:15:30,442 --> 01:15:31,443
Fair enough.
726
01:15:34,112 --> 01:15:35,906
How about once a month, then?
-No.
727
01:15:36,281 --> 01:15:37,199
No?
728
01:15:43,580 --> 01:15:44,498
Have a think.
729
01:15:47,125 --> 01:15:49,086
-Excuse me?
-Just have a think about it.
730
01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:52,923
-Colin, if you're not happy...
-No, I am happy.
731
01:15:53,423 --> 01:15:55,133
Ray, I'm, I'm really happy.
732
01:15:58,428 --> 01:16:00,931
I could just maybe be a bit happier,
that's all.
733
01:16:31,878 --> 01:16:32,879
Time for bed.
734
01:16:33,505 --> 01:16:35,674
I'm gonna stay up, finish this chapter.
735
01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:25,575
What are you doing?
736
01:18:25,617 --> 01:18:26,451
Nothing.
737
01:18:27,244 --> 01:18:28,120
Out.
738
01:19:19,671 --> 01:19:20,505
Oh...
739
01:19:20,672 --> 01:19:21,631
Fuck!
740
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,302
Take off my t-shirt.
741
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:27,345
Stop scowling.
742
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:29,264
Take it off.
743
01:19:29,514 --> 01:19:30,348
Raymond...
744
01:19:31,683 --> 01:19:34,227
you look very small-mouthed and old.
745
01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:37,939
What did you say?
746
01:19:38,356 --> 01:19:40,442
I think you may have heard me.
Raymond, please...
747
01:19:40,525 --> 01:19:41,860
-Huh?
-Raymond...
748
01:19:41,902 --> 01:19:42,903
No...
749
01:19:42,986 --> 01:19:44,654
Ugh... GET OUT!
750
01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:47,365
-GO!
-Uh!
751
01:19:48,825 --> 01:19:50,619
Ray! Raymond!
752
01:19:51,369 --> 01:19:52,662
Argh, argh!
753
01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:53,705
Argh!
754
01:19:53,747 --> 01:19:55,123
Fancy a wrestle?
755
01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:56,249
Huh?
756
01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:57,709
Fancy a wrestle?
757
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,586
Ugh! Ugh!
758
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,505
-Do you give?
-Urgh!
759
01:20:01,671 --> 01:20:03,006
Do you?
760
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:04,132
Urgh.
761
01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,396
Daaa-daaa-daaa...
762
01:20:49,261 --> 01:20:50,387
Colin!
763
01:20:54,599 --> 01:20:55,475
Hey!
764
01:21:21,334 --> 01:21:22,794
Wanker!
765
01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:56,930
Come on.
766
01:23:08,817 --> 01:23:09,818
Have a seat.
767
01:23:13,947 --> 01:23:14,948
Erm...
768
01:23:16,449 --> 01:23:17,784
What, what's this?
769
01:23:17,909 --> 01:23:18,868
Breakfast.
770
01:23:32,465 --> 01:23:33,550
I don't understand.
771
01:23:36,761 --> 01:23:38,430
I thought we could try a day off.
772
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,356
Mm...
773
01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:51,192
So, erm...
774
01:23:52,819 --> 01:23:54,404
what would you like to do?
775
01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:58,074
What, today?
776
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:00,910
Erm...
777
01:24:01,745 --> 01:24:02,871
What do you wanna do?
778
01:24:04,414 --> 01:24:05,206
No, no, no.
779
01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:07,959
You decide. It's your day off.
780
01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:13,548
Erm...well, it, er...
781
01:24:14,883 --> 01:24:17,427
Yeah...it looks like a nice enough day.
782
01:24:17,510 --> 01:24:18,511
We could...
783
01:24:19,929 --> 01:24:22,599
we could go for a bike somewhere...maybe?
784
01:24:24,225 --> 01:24:25,393
No biking today.
785
01:24:32,192 --> 01:24:33,777
But I'll pay for this later?
786
01:24:35,987 --> 01:24:36,946
No.
787
01:24:43,828 --> 01:24:44,746
Oh...
788
01:24:58,009 --> 01:24:58,802
Um...
789
01:25:01,054 --> 01:25:02,347
Do you like, er...
790
01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:05,183
Thai food?
791
01:25:05,892 --> 01:25:07,393
Er, sure, yeah.
792
01:25:08,186 --> 01:25:09,229
'Cause there's, erm,
793
01:25:09,312 --> 01:25:13,233
apparently there's quite
a nice...place...nearby.
794
01:25:13,483 --> 01:25:14,484
Okay.
795
01:25:21,950 --> 01:25:23,076
Well, this was fun.
796
01:25:27,872 --> 01:25:29,249
What do you wanna do next?
797
01:25:30,416 --> 01:25:31,960
I...dunno.
798
01:25:36,548 --> 01:25:38,508
I'm sorry about the weather, really...
799
01:25:42,303 --> 01:25:43,513
Sing something for me.
800
01:25:47,934 --> 01:25:49,519
-What, here?
-Or, actually...
801
01:25:49,686 --> 01:25:50,937
teach me how to sing.
802
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:55,942
Are you serious?
803
01:25:56,025 --> 01:25:56,901
I'm very serious.
804
01:26:01,406 --> 01:26:02,282
Okay.
805
01:26:03,741 --> 01:26:06,494
Da, da, da, da
806
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:08,746
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
807
01:26:08,788 --> 01:26:10,999
Da, da, da, da
808
01:26:12,917 --> 01:26:14,294
Da...
809
01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:17,755
Da, da, da, da
810
01:26:17,922 --> 01:26:23,928
Da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da, da, da, da...
811
01:26:28,224 --> 01:26:29,267
Are you laughing?
812
01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:32,312
-No, it's good! You're very good!
-You think you're better than me?
813
01:26:32,353 --> 01:26:34,314
-I didn't say that.
-Is that what it is?
814
01:26:35,231 --> 01:26:37,525
Wow. Wow, that hurt.
815
01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:39,777
Er, you know what?
816
01:26:41,070 --> 01:26:42,363
-What are you doing?
-Wait.
817
01:26:43,448 --> 01:26:44,991
-Ladies, pardon me.
-Oh.
818
01:26:46,117 --> 01:26:47,327
Er...come on.
819
01:26:55,752 --> 01:26:56,669
Go ahead.
820
01:26:56,711 --> 01:26:57,503
Erm...
821
01:26:58,671 --> 01:26:59,464
...sorry.
822
01:27:00,173 --> 01:27:00,965
Sorry.
823
01:27:03,384 --> 01:27:06,888
Da, da, da, da
824
01:27:06,971 --> 01:27:11,768
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da...
825
01:27:12,143 --> 01:27:14,562
-Oh, it's lovely.
-Yeah.
826
01:27:19,108 --> 01:27:22,278
Da, da, da, da
827
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,531
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da...
828
01:27:28,159 --> 01:27:30,578
Ye-ye-yes, yes.
829
01:27:31,371 --> 01:27:32,830
You liked both, I can tell.
830
01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,165
Which one do you prefer?
831
01:27:34,332 --> 01:27:35,541
Oh, well, him.
832
01:27:35,875 --> 01:27:37,168
-Him?
-Yeah.
833
01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:38,753
Are you serious?
834
01:27:39,629 --> 01:27:40,880
Unbelievable!
835
01:27:40,964 --> 01:27:41,965
I'm sorry about him.
836
01:27:42,131 --> 01:27:44,842
-He's, er...
-You've paid off these two fine ladies?
837
01:27:44,884 --> 01:27:46,678
-I've never met these ladies, Ray.
-Wow.
838
01:27:47,053 --> 01:27:47,762
Alright.
839
01:27:47,804 --> 01:27:49,055
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
840
01:27:49,555 --> 01:27:50,890
You're cocky now, huh?
841
01:28:07,865 --> 01:28:08,741
Oh...
842
01:29:07,675 --> 01:29:10,595
-Excuse me!
-Oi, dickheads!
843
01:29:10,803 --> 01:29:12,138
Are you gonna clean those seats?
844
01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:13,514
Mind the popcorn!
845
01:29:13,556 --> 01:29:15,350
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop! Pa-pa!
846
01:29:59,977 --> 01:30:01,312
-Gah!
-Ja!
847
01:30:02,688 --> 01:30:03,731
I can't!
848
01:30:04,148 --> 01:30:06,025
-Not gonna make it!
-Ooh!
849
01:30:06,067 --> 01:30:08,236
-Oh...
-Go on without me...
850
01:30:11,864 --> 01:30:13,324
Go! I'm done.
851
01:30:17,578 --> 01:30:18,704
Come on!
852
01:30:18,955 --> 01:30:19,789
Come on!
853
01:30:20,206 --> 01:30:21,457
-Oh!
-Up you get.
854
01:30:21,541 --> 01:30:24,127
-No, I'm done.
-No, you're not. Come on, uh!
855
01:30:24,293 --> 01:30:25,503
-Leave me!
-Come on!
856
01:30:25,545 --> 01:30:26,963
Leave me! Ugh!
857
01:30:30,174 --> 01:30:31,175
Ah...
858
01:30:33,344 --> 01:30:35,304
Argh, argh!
859
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:42,770
-Yes, yes! Ahhh!
-Ah.
860
01:33:33,149 --> 01:33:34,275
Ray!
861
01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:38,946
Are, are you in there? Ray...
862
01:33:59,008 --> 01:34:00,134
Still nothing?
863
01:34:07,266 --> 01:34:08,267
Alright, guys.
864
01:34:09,185 --> 01:34:10,394
How you doing, yeah?
865
01:34:21,489 --> 01:34:23,157
He can't just have disappeared
off the Earth.
866
01:34:23,199 --> 01:34:24,283
He's gotta have been somewhere.
867
01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:25,159
Ray does his own thing.
868
01:34:25,201 --> 01:34:26,202
You know what, it's fine.
869
01:34:26,243 --> 01:34:27,787
Forget it, forget it.
-Colin!
870
01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:49,642
Let's knock it on the head for today,
shall we?
871
01:34:51,644 --> 01:34:52,603
Yeah.
872
01:34:54,772 --> 01:34:57,108
We can look somewhere else
next weekend. Okay?
873
01:35:01,445 --> 01:35:02,655
Or not.
874
01:35:04,407 --> 01:35:05,408
Up to you.
875
01:37:09,156 --> 01:37:10,282
About me...
876
01:37:16,163 --> 01:37:20,584
I've been told I have an aptitude
for devotion.
877
01:37:22,211 --> 01:37:24,839
I'm obedient, hard-working,
878
01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:27,633
and excellent at following instructions.
879
01:37:28,467 --> 01:37:29,844
I'm low maintenance,
880
01:37:30,052 --> 01:37:31,720
have a high pain threshold,
881
01:37:31,929 --> 01:37:33,681
and rarely fail to please.
882
01:37:34,265 --> 01:37:35,641
But I'm also very modest,
883
01:37:35,724 --> 01:37:37,268
so this is the only time that
884
01:37:37,309 --> 01:37:39,144
you'll hear me sing my own praises.
885
01:37:39,645 --> 01:37:40,896
Unless you ask.
886
01:37:42,898 --> 01:37:44,483
I won't cut my hair for no-one.
887
01:37:44,817 --> 01:37:46,652
And I do require one day off a week.
888
01:37:46,777 --> 01:37:48,195
That's not up for debate.
889
01:37:49,655 --> 01:37:50,906
The rest of the time,
890
01:37:51,490 --> 01:37:52,867
your wish is my command.
891
01:37:59,373 --> 01:38:00,207
Nice.
892
01:38:01,375 --> 01:38:06,922
When your world is turned around
893
01:38:06,964 --> 01:38:10,050
Why not smile?
894
01:38:10,426 --> 01:38:17,182
Don't wear a frown, smile
895
01:38:17,224 --> 01:38:19,977
Though your heart is aching
896
01:38:20,019 --> 01:38:22,354
Smile
897
01:38:22,438 --> 01:38:25,441
Even though it's breaking
898
01:38:25,524 --> 01:38:31,030
When there are clouds in the sky
899
01:38:31,113 --> 01:38:35,910
you'll get by if you smile
900
01:38:35,951 --> 01:38:38,787
through your fear and sorrow
901
01:38:38,829 --> 01:38:44,209
Smile and maybe tomorrow
902
01:38:44,251 --> 01:38:46,795
You'll...you'll see the sun
903
01:38:46,837 --> 01:38:49,632
Come shining through
904
01:38:49,757 --> 01:38:52,801
For you-u-u...
905
01:38:54,053 --> 01:38:56,388
What you playing at mate, make some space!
906
01:39:14,657 --> 01:39:15,574
Darren?
907
01:39:17,117 --> 01:39:18,327
It's Colin.
908
01:39:20,955 --> 01:39:22,164
You're early.
909
01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:25,834
Yeah, sorry.
910
01:39:28,963 --> 01:39:33,300
Light up your face with gladness
911
01:39:33,425 --> 01:39:37,304
Hide every trace of sadness
912
01:39:38,222 --> 01:39:40,391
Although a tear
913
01:39:40,474 --> 01:39:44,561
May be ever so near...
914
01:39:44,645 --> 01:39:48,816
That's the time you must keep on trying
915
01:39:48,857 --> 01:39:53,153
Smile, what's the use of crying?
916
01:39:53,195 --> 01:39:58,409
You'll...you'll find that life
is still worthwhile
917
01:39:58,826 --> 01:40:02,830
If you just smile
918
01:40:02,955 --> 01:40:05,124
You must keep on trying
919
01:40:05,165 --> 01:40:10,921
Smile
What's the use of...crying?
920
01:40:11,046 --> 01:40:13,465
You'll find that life...
921
01:40:13,507 --> 01:40:14,633
Can you cook?
922
01:40:15,134 --> 01:40:16,635
Yeah. Yeah, I can cook.
923
01:40:18,387 --> 01:40:19,263
What do you fancy?
924
01:40:19,304 --> 01:40:21,223
A smile is still worthwhile...
925
01:40:21,265 --> 01:40:23,183
Surprise me. No gluten.
926
01:40:24,143 --> 01:40:25,310
Can't be dealing with any gluten.
927
01:40:25,394 --> 01:40:27,062
-No gluten?
-Yeah.
928
01:40:27,146 --> 01:40:30,649
Smile...
54620
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