Original subtitles

It's nice in here, isn't it?

Yeah. It's quite warm.

I've had the peachy nose sweet so nice.

Ooh, shopping. I need a new chair for my computer.

Because I've got one and it's really hard and I like to... It's not a

catalogue. What was on that page?

What's that?

A dirty devil.

Yeah, but they sell furniture. They sell everything.

Oh, OK.

Migrating friends and... Well, they have a ladies' section as well, of course.

I know, don't you think?

Toys. Oh, they're nice pants. Tease me.

You're a really cool flirt, you are.

I'm not.

It's you with magazines.

Yeah, it must be, wouldn't it?

See, that's them beady things.

I think they're for your bum.

Have you tried those?

No, I've seen some though. They're on like a long rod and they start off thin

and they get fatter and fatter, don't they? And you're meant to put it in so

many and then slowly pull them out like that.

No.

No. Just stick with the click stimulators.

Yeah, me too.

They're carrying everywhere with me. I've got them in my umbrella.

I'll tell you one thing I have wanted to try.

Me and the girls have been in this new shop in town and they've got, I don't

think they're glass, but they look like glass.

And there's one, and it goes into a very slight point, quite flat at the bottom.

But it's like a unicorn, that's the only way I can describe it, but it's got one

mammoth handle on it.

But if you imagine it, when you're all excited down there, and your foo -foo's

really hot, and then you're going to put something really cold in there, that's

well going to get you excited, isn't it?

So what is it with you? You always end up talking about sex and things like

that. Don't blame me.

Mm -hmm.

So... Are you feeling hard enough?

I am, that's it. Yeah.

I've got to have a little play.

What have you got in your handbag?

Your hand's already down there.

What have I got in my handbag?

Nothing.

You've got to have a mignon.

Who, me?

Yes, you.

Okay.

I confess.

The ball.

Wait.

The dolphin?

Imagine if I ever lost a big flag.

I've got... Somebody had it in their bag. It's not mine.

I've got... Isn't it?

Ooh.

That looks rather nice.

I think that works.

Do you want to have a play with it? Can I? Oh, you can leave it to one side.

I think you'll like that. Actually, I know you'll like that. Can I try it now?

Yeah. You know me too well.

Me and my eggs.

Oh, don't stroke me.

I love being tickled.

I know, you told me when you were young. If I could have a quick stimulator on

my personal tickler, you don't need a man or anything, do you? No.

I always find when you play with yourself, it's like it can come so much

quicker. Yeah.

Yeah, you do, don't you? You know what you're doing. You like it here, don't

you? There's something there.

I will warn you, it is very, very bad.

Oh, I'm getting comfy.

Why are you doing that?

Are you having a play?

Are you putting your gloves on?

I haven't actually worn these before so I might have to give them a whirl.

The thing is they're meant to leave them in so I might just walk around in them

for the rest of the day.

Please don't remind me to take them out.

I'm impatient, me.

You're meant to put one in. Oh, miss.

Please just forget it.

Mmm.

Ooh, they feel nice.

It's a bit strange.

If you tell me to put one in fast and then play with your clutch, it's because

sometimes, you know, with your muscles bad and stuff, you can spit them out

of thing. Really?

But you can't run the boat in.

I'll see if she's telling the truth, shall I?

Oh, my goodness.

No, it's going to come straight away, this is.

No, no, no, pull it away, pull it away, right around the brink.

OK. And then start again, but turn it right down.

Oh, my God.

No, it's good, isn't it?

This is a right machine, isn't it?

I like that.

What are you using?

I don't know.

I'm using this bit to start because it's flicking all over the place.

It's funny because I can see when I'm touching because it's like the strings

hanging there. I can feel myself pulling it in.

Oh, this is so good. This is.

You just have to touch it slightly, don't you?

Why don't you just do a bit of hand roll now?

Oh, I just love being me with this feeling.

It just really works with that thing in there because when I move it's got

something inside it and it's... Oh, how can I explain it?

It's like it's bouncing up and down inside but it's not really moving that

You can feel that a lot.

It's very unusual.

It just won't come through. It's dead.

It's just a log hole.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Thank you.

My eyes are twitching now.

Your legs are twitching as well?

My eyes are twitching a lot.

Have you come yet?

Yeah.

I wish

they'd

invent a nice big...

Like a bath toy, you know, like a clip to play in the bath. Yeah.

I'm at my most comfiest when I'm in my bath. That's wonderful, that pink one,

actually. Isn't it?

But I wouldn't like to risk it because I wouldn't like it to malfunction on me.

Because it's my favourite tyre.

So, Missy, now that you've got me and you've got me all excited, what are you

going to do with me now?

I'll take you to the bedroom.

Oh, yeah?

I'll play with some more tyres.

Are you going to let me have that one of mine?

I'll tell you what, let me have that one.

Because that's slightly faster than the other, so it'll drive me insane.

And you can have that pink one.

Okay. So leave me to the bedroom, Peter.

I'll bring my toys.

Come on, then.