Original subtitles

Hey, Natalie.

I was hoping I could catch you before my shift started.

Well, you caught me.

So, you want to do something later?

Maybe grab some dinner?

Ah, I was up all night prepping for the M&M today.

By the time my shift's over, I'm gonna be running on fumes.

We can keep it mellow.

Make some spaghetti, watch a movie.

Uh, maybe. We'll see.

Okay, everyone, heads up! CPD! Dr. Choi?

Auto versus ped. Officer Kate Windham

found unresponsive in her driveway.

- Who? - Officer Kate Windham.

Down for an unknown period. Tubed in the field.

Mags?

Baghdad.

She was hit in her own driveway?

Freak accident. Parking brake gave out.

Her SUV rolled into her.

BP 111 over 77, heart rate 136.

Dropped to 32, and then shot back up.

Cushing's response. Brainstem herniation?

Let's not go there yet.

Transfer on my count. Ready? One, two, three.

Any sedation or paralytics in the field?

No.

Pupils are fixed and dilated.

Not initiating a breath. Resume bagging.

No corneal reflex.

What's with Maggie?

Officer Windham arrested Maggie last year.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com -

Lieutenant Windham, as I explained, ake for that?

Your wife's CT showed massive bleeding.

The tests confirm she's not responsive to stimuli,

and her blood flow study indicates

that the pressure in her brain

is greater than her blood pressure.

She has no blood flow to her brain.

Unfortunately, all of these things tell us

that your wife is brain dead.

I'm very sorry.

You're telling me she's dead?

My wife's dead.

We're right here for you, Darryl.

She was just walking to the mailbox.

- Mm-hmm. - I don't understand.

I don't get it. She was...

She was walking to the mailbox.

I know this must be a terrible shock for you.

Lieutenant,

I did see on her records

your wife is a registered organ donor.

Yeah.

Kate was all about helping others.

Our charge nurse will coordinate the donations.

Lieutenant Windham, this is Maggie Lockwood.

You're the nurse... That's the nurse...

That's, um...

You're the nurse from last year.

Okay. We'll give you some time, Lieutenant.

Again, I'm very sorry.

I am gonna be right back.

Dr. Choi, can I talk to you for a minute?

Given the history between your nurse and Officer Windham,

we have a problem.

It's hard enough on the lieutenant.

He doesn't need this.

Maggie's a pro. She'll do her job.

Doctor, if you're not gonna handle this,

I'm gonna go over your head.

I understand you're taking care of your own,

but I need to do the same.

I'll talk with Ms. Goodwin.

Hey. So, why'd Maggie get arrested? What happened?

The charge was interfering with a police investigation.

But Maggie was protecting a patient.

In my opinion, Officer Windham overreacted.

Dr. Manning,

you set for the Morbidity and Mortality Conference?

- I am, Doc... - Good. See you there.

Remember: M&M is non-punitive.

It's a learning experience.

- Okay. - Dr. Halstead?

- Yes? - I expect to see you there too.

As her attending physician, you are ultimately responsible

for Dr. Manning's actions.

Right.

I am so sorry to put you in this position.

Oh, I'm not concerned. You did everything right.

Except my patient died.

Natalie, hey, you're being too hard on yourself.

You know, sometimes things just don't break

the way we want them too.

If you need backup, I'm available.

Thanks, um, but I've got it covered.

Med students don't present, Clarke. Doctors only.

I knew it.

Sawfly larva.

Hmm.

I ate half of that apple

before I saw it crawling out of the core.

That's nice.

Nice?

Sarah, what is the matter with you?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't get any sleep last night.

This neurology rotation I'm doing...

Dr. Abrams had me pull a second shift.

Tell Abrams that residents aren't supposed

to work more than a 12-hour shift.

Yeah, well, you tell him.

I got to go.

Here. I have something.

- What is that? - Espresso beans.

Robusta from Brazil.

Highest concentration of caffeine.

Take five every hour. Chew thoroughly.

- Really? - Yeah.

Thanks.

Hey.

Abnormal heart tones?

No. Heart rate is 150.

Strong and steady.

- How do the measurements look? - Give me a second.

Crown-to-chin length measurement is 30.9 millimeters.

Well within the normal parameters.

So, the TB meds...

Don't seem to be causing any problems.

That's great news.

You were right.

I'll see you back downstairs.

No. The heart recipient has already been notified.

I need a echo, bronchoscopy, liver biopsy,

standard chest X-ray, and chest CT.

Send the results to me, and I'll forward it

to the transplant team.

Yep. Thank you.

Maggie, I heard about Officer Windham's accident.

- Yeah. - I think it's best

that we let April be the liaison on this one.

Oh, no worries. I'm already into it with the labs.

Even so, I know what a hard time you had with the arrest.

Why stir up all those feelings?

I don't need coddling. I can do my job.

Maggie, we need to consider the patient's family as well.

I think it's better for all concerned

that we get in front of this.

It's too loaded.

You're taking me off?

Sharon, come on.

Let April handle it.

Mr. Koslow.

I'm Dr. Halstead.

You were brought in unconscious. What happened?

Ah, I'm laying here practically naked, doc.

You could call me Felix.

Uh, last thing I remember, I was coming back from a run

feeling a little lightheaded.

Well, according to the paramedics,

you were passed out in the bathroom.

Yeah. But I'm fine.

And I can't stay here.

I'm a jockey.

Just been busting my ass getting ready

for a race at Santa Anita tomorrow,

so must have just overdone it.

- Ever happen before? - Never.

I really don't need to be here.

Tell me if this hurts.

Ah! Ow! Ow!

Just kidding.

When I was a kid, my dad used to take me

down to the racetracks at Hawthorne.

The man never picked a winner.

Most kids dream about playing in the World Series.

For me, it's all about the Kentucky Derby.

Took years of riding at BS tracks

to get over to Churchill Downs.

Been working my way up there,

but, you know, in the winter the track closes down,

so I've been picking up mounts on the West... West Coast.

Uh-huh. Open wide for me.

Very possible this is just a bout of overtraining.

You say you're feeling fine. You sure?

Little weak, but nothing that's gonna stop me.

I'm on a great horse tomorrow.

Well, let's make sure you're fit to mount up.

I'm ordering an EKG and an echo to check your heart.

I'm still waiting on those lab results,

so for now, sit tight.

Dr. Manning!

Brett, talk to me.

Car crash. 44-year-old female. GCS 14.

Large laceration to the head. Pale and sweaty.

LVAD keeps alarming.

Page Dr. Rhodes and let him know

we got an LVAD down here.

- Bria, honey? - Copy. You're going

- to Trauma 1, Dr. Manning. - Got it.

- Report. - 17-year-old female. GCS 15.

No LOC. Vitals are stable. Hands and feet moving.

Complaining of neck pain.

- Bria! - Mom?

Dr. Choi, you're going to Trauma 2.

- Copy. - Bria! Baby!

- Mom! - Here we go.

One, two, three.

Okay, let's transfer on my count.

Ready? One, two, three.

- Where's my mom? - Easy, easy.

Eyes on me. Eyes on me.

She is right next door.

You're gonna see her real soon, okay?

She has a bad heart.

They called. We were coming in for a transplant.

Okay. Heart surgeon's on his way down.

Can you tell us what hurts?

My neck. It snapped back after the airbag hit me.

I got a call saying a heart's available,

said to get here.

Guy ran a red light.

Where's my daughter?

She is in good hands. Right now we need

to worry about you, okay?

Let's get her hooked up to the monitor

and rapidly transfuse two packed red blood cells

and two plasma.

Then get X-rays of her chest and pelvis, okay?

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna take this

off now, okay?

I tried to swerve, but I was going too fast.

Ow! It really hurts!

We're gonna give you something for the pain.

Then we need to make sure you don't have any fractures, okay?

Let's get a CT of her neck and thoracic spine

and 0.2 milligrams of hydromorphone.

All right, let's give her 50 mics fentanyl IV push.

No. No. I'm a recovering alcoholic.

- Meghan? - Dr. Rhodes.

I made it. I'm... I'm ready for the transplant.

Okay, you just try to stay calm, okay?

We're gonna figure this out.

She's having suction events.

She's still hypovolemic, Let's up her volume.

I need to close up this head wound.

Can you check her LVAD?

- Yeah. You got it. - Skin stapler?

Right away. Here you go.

Oh!

Where... aah!

Where's Bria?

Where's my baby?

We're gonna take care of her, all right?

Let's get some pressure on this.

Yes, doctor.

I'm... I'm okay. I got a hard head.

Just relax.

- What happened? - Auto accident.

How bad is it?

We've got a donor heart in Baghdad.

She needs to be able to tolerate the surgery.

I'm hoping the head wound is just superficial.

We won't know anything until she gets a CT.

We're headed up there now.

All right, well, keep your fingers crossed.

She's got better odds of hitting the lottery

than she does of matching to another heart

- before it's too late. - Yeah.

And your choice is.

Lieutenant Windham?

- Yeah. - Hi. I'm April.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'll be handling your wife's care.

I thought it was the...

Thought it was the other nurse.

I'm coordinating with the transplant teams today.

Your wife's organs are in the process

of being matched to people in need.

Once that's complete, we'll go ahead and schedule surgery.

You're free to stay with her throughout the process.

And tell me... How many people will she save?

That depends on the organ evaluation results,

but she could potentially save seven, eight lives.

We've already found a match for her heart.

That's Kate.

Always going above and beyond.

I'm here for you every step of the way.

Please don't hesitate to reach out

should you have any questions or need anything.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey. When you call the lab, make sure you deal with Sue.

She gets the blood and tissue samples analyzed faster

- than anybody else. - All right.

And once they match the other organs,

- make sure that you... - Maggie, I know how to do this.

I'm sorry if you feel like I'm stepping on your toes.

You're not stepping on my toes. It's just...

It's my responsibility.

Meghan, we got your test results.

Your CT scan looks fine.

Then I'm okay to have the surgery, right?

Unfortunately, there's another problem.

We do a tox screen as part of your pre-op workup.

Your blood alcohol content came back 0.06.

No. It can't... That's a mistake.

I... I told her not to, but that doctor must have

given me pain medication.

Pain medication would have no effect

on the blood alcohol levels.

Check it again!

I'm sorry.

I screwed up.

Can you explain your actions?

Margaret Brazetti.

She's my age. Three kids.

Been on the transplant list two years.

Met in a support group.

Was always positive. Always laughing.

And she got me through some really hard days.

She died this morning.

I slipped.

Two shots.

First time in three years.

Then I got the call about the heart.

I asked Bria to take me.

If I hadn't asked her, she wouldn't be hurt.

The asking wasn't the problem. The drinking was.

Does this mean I don't get the heart?

That's the committee's decision.

You should try and get some rest.

Rest?

Is Bria, um, back from her CT?

We'll have somebody check.

As I recall, you vouched for her.

I did.

Quite an unfortunate choice.

All the other matches are in?

Yeah. Got teams flying in from Wisconsin,

St. Louis, and Des Moines.

April, is it possible for some of us to be

in the OR with Darryl during the procedure?

He could use the support.

I will have to talk to the surgical charge nurse,

but I'm sure we can work something out.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Um...

I was the one who asked for someone else

to take charge of this.

It really wasn't personal.

I was just thinking of the lieutenant.

You understand?

No. Everything's good.

Flying out at 9:00.

Yeah. I'll see you first thing for the morning workout.

Yeah.

Got your labs back and the results of your echo.

Yeah. I'm sure nothing's wrong with me

that these bags of fluid haven't fixed.

Well, you're dehydrated. It will help with that.

Felix, your creatinine and sodium are high

and your potassium is low,

and I noticed enamel erosion around some of your teeth.

Now, all these are indicators of bulimia.

Bulimia is... is something girls get.

Well, actually, 1/3 of those suffering from bulimia are men.

Eating disorders are not specific to women,

and you should know they're treatable.

I don't have an eating disorder.

I've got a job that requires me to make weight,

or I don't get to ride.

All jockeys flip.

Flip?

Yeah. Stick our fingers down our throat.

If that ain't enough, some guys sit in the hot box

and sweat it out.

Some down laxatives.

I take diuretics.

Because of the purging and diuretics,

you're considerably underweight,

which has caused a mitral valve prolapse,

meaning the valve in your heart has become floppy.

And it's treatable.

I'd like to put a tube through your nose into your stomach

to feed you calories.

Now, over time, this may reverse the MVP

and fatten up your heart.

What happens if I don't? Is it gonna kill me?

With your lifestyle, you are putting yourself

at a much greater risk of infection, cardiac arrhythmia,

or even heart failure.

I've been riding Executive Chef for a year.

That's four wins and a place.

I am one ride away from that derby mount.

- Felix... - No... I'm finishing this fluid,

and I'm getting the hell out of here.

We have a pre-op consult upstairs in six minutes.

Dr. Reece, Dr. Abrams. How's it going?

I need to break her of all your bad habits.

I've found my most successful residents happily volunteer

to work well past the standard 80-hour week.

Dr. Charles.

Meghan Scott, my transplant patient you evaluated.

Yeah.

Turns out that you were right about her.

She fell off the wagon.

Really?

I'm very sorry to hear that.

The way I put you on the spot about your decision...

I owe you an apology.

No, you don't.

I appreciate the gesture, but my evaluation...

I vetted her. It was my call.

I should, um... I should probably check in with her.

The Transplant Committee's gonna want another assessment.

If you'll excuse me, I've got to get to the M&M.

Yes. Thank you for telling me.

Of course.

The patient became unstable

due to an unrecognized pericardial effusion,

which was stabilized by emergent pericardiocentesis.

You presented the images of the MRCP

demonstrating cholelithiasis

to support your diagnosis of pancreatitis

due to choledocholithiasis,

but you aren't showing us any images

of the lung bases or heart.

Those images were not obtained.

Why not?

The patient's movement resulted in unreadable images.

Why didn't you repeat the scan?

The study captured adequate detail

within the area of interest.

So, had you been more vigilant at this juncture,

perhaps you would have identified

this patient's pericardial effusion

and avoided his subsequent cardiovascular collapse.

In hindsight, yes.

At the time, I believed I had what I needed.

Let's move on.

You mentioned placing the patient on BiPAP,

which exacerbated cardiac tamponade.

How did you respond?

How are you feeling?

Like I screwed up two lives.

Let's get you two together.

I'll have this dividing wall opened up.

How is she? Is her neck okay?

Good news is there are no fractures.

Okay. What's the bad?

It's not necessarily bad. It might be minor,

but Bria's CT showed a mass in her upper thoracic spine,

unrelated to the accident.

Oh, God. A mass means tumor, right?

It could be a number of things.

My poor baby.

She's had some back pain in the last few months.

She tried to convince me it was nothing.

I should've brought her in. This is my fault.

Meghan, until we do an MRI

to get a better look at what we're dealing with,

the best thing you could do is try to stay calm.

Son of a bitch!

I need this damn thing out!

Mr. Koslow, please, you need to calm down.

And you need to take this out of my arm.

I'm two pounds over.

Hey, hey, hey. It's just water weight.

That IV is the only reason you're feeling stronger.

You need to leave it in.

You know, screw this. You're not gonna do it,

I'll pull it out myself. Whoa!

No, no, no. Please don't do that.

Okay. Fine. That's what you want,

let's get you back to your room.

Hell, no! You're gonna try to give me something.

I'm done with this crap! No! Mister-

- Get off of... - Hey.

- Now you're bleeding. - I'm fine.

Okay. This is why you need to be treated.

I did that, and now I'm too fat to ride.

You can not take diuretics again.

You are playing Russian roulette.

There are only so many times you can pull that trigger.

Let me go, now!

Mom, I'm fine!

It's not uncommon for people w-Oh, it's just a blanket.

I don't need it.

Everything okay?

Oh, she just seemed cold.

And you shouldn't be up.

Can I help you back into bed?

Dr. Reese?

I'm doing a rotation in neurocritical care.

Oh.

The mass we found is not a tumor.

Oh, thank God.

It's a spinal AVM,

which is an abnormal tangle of blood vessels.

Is it serious?

Bria's probably had it since she was born.

Quite often, we don't find it

until it starts causing problems.

What kind of problems?

Down the line, numbness, hemorrhage,

even paralysis.

So, the back pain was a sign.

We could've caught this months ago.

Let's focus on the fact that we caught it now.

It can be treated surgically.

Dr. Reese will do a neurosurgery consult with you,

and then our head of neurosurgery, Dr. Abrams,

will come down and go over the details.

I'm so sorry, Bria.

Stop it. It's not your fault.

No. I wasn't thinking about you.

I was only thinking about myself.

Having an AVM is unfortunate,

but finding it now, as early as we have,

is the best we could ask for.

Dr. Manning then paged me to perform a pericardiocentesis.

Did you recommend sending the fluid for analysis

and obtaining a CT chest, abdomen, and pelvis?

I did.

The CT showed a large mass in the right middle lobe

with bulky hilar and mediastinal lymphadenopathy.

And that's when Dr. Manning called for an oncology consult?

Yes. And their recommendation was chemotherapy.

- Dr. Rhodes? - I recommended an alternative

course of therapy: since the primary mass was resectable,

I thought it best to move forward with surgery

- without delay. - And Dr. Manning disagreed?

I thought the radiation would give the pancreatitis

time to cool down.

- What was his Ranson's score? - It was...

What difference does that make?

There's no reliable way to predict tumor lysis syndrome.

Dr. Manning, if your white knight plans on continuing

his medical education at this hospital,

I recommend that you advise him

to remove himself from my presence.

Let's take a five-minute break.

How dare you?

I know. I shouldn't have said...

I am not a damsel in distress,

and I do not need you to defend me.

I was only trying to help.

You humiliated me in there.

Natalie, I'm sorry.

If he gets on that horse,

he's not only a danger to himself,

but every other jockey in the race.

I don't disagree.

Can we keep him on a psych hold?

No, we can't. I mean, from everything you told me,

his stated intention is to win the race.

He didn't say anything about doing intentional harm.

And if we do hold him, he'd probably sue the hospital,

and you personally.

If you can't convince him to stay,

get him to sign that he's leaving against medical advice.

Oh, he's already asked for the paperwork.

Then it's settled.

Damn it!

That ultrasound was a huge relief.

Yeah.

So, now that we know everything's okay,

there's something I'm hoping you'll consider

for the baby's sake.

Maybe it would be good if you stopped working for a while,

just until the kid is born.

I know how you feel about your job.

I'm not asking you to give that up.

But a few months could help to take away some stress.

If it was up to you, there wouldn't even be a baby.

April, I told you I'm sorry.

The only reason I wanted to consider terminating was

I thought the baby would have no quality of life.

I didn't want to put you... Us through that.

My job's not endangering the pregnancy.

The second I feel like work is negatively affecting me,

I'll stop.

For now, I'm fine.

We are fine.

So, Dr. Charles, you assessed Meghan Scott today.

- Yes, I did... - I don't understand

why we're debating this.

An alcoholic must be sober for 18 months before being eligible

for transplant... Those are the rules.

This patient disqualified herself.

Dr. Latham, right now in the hospital,

we have an excellent match for a heart,

an organ which you know has a limited window of viability.

We may have to think beyond the rules.

What stops her from drinking the next time she gets upset?

Ironically, relapse can be a very important part of recovery.

Happens to most addicts at some point,

and it's very often the utter misery

of falling off the wagon

that motivates those that suffer

to finally get serious about staying sober.

And you believe this is the case for Ms. Scott?

I also think it's been a very real wake-up call for her.

Until the accident, Bria was performing the caretaker role,

but now Meghan realizes the importance

of stepping up and taking responsibility

not just for herself, but also for her daughter.

So, bottom line, are you saying

the committee should give Ms. Scott

the currently available heart?

As a human being, I would love to root for Meghan.

As a doctor, I'm... I'm just more aware than ever

of the power that this disease can have over somebody.

Dr. Rhodes?

Uh, I was confident

when I pushed for Meghan to be put on the list.

Regretfully, I am less confident now.

If there are no more questions,

I move the committee take a vote.

All those in favor

of Meghan Scott receiving the heart,

signify with a "yea."

Yea.

All those against, signify with a "nay."

- Nay. - Nay.

The nays have it.

We'll look for another recipient.

You remain conflicted about Meghan Scott

despite her breaking the clearly defined rulest

for being a transplant candidate.

Yes.

I... I remain conflicted.

I've worked with a lot of alcoholics,

and I know real regret when I see it.

Real regret?

Can you elaborate?

What exactly did you see in Ms. Scott?

Well, I... I saw real sadness.

You know, there were tears rolling down her face,

and, um, her jaw was clenched, you know,

and her body sort of drooped with what looked like shame.

That's interesting.

Are you sure you're gonna be all right?

Sweetie, you need to stop worrying about me.

All I want you to think about is how much I love you.

And when you wake up, I'll be right there, okay?

- I love you, baby. - Love you, too.

Please let her be all right.

While debatable choices were made by all involved,

no one physician is to blame.

My recommendation is to revisit hospital policy

on requiring doctors to be present

when radiation is administered.

Only with more skilled eyes on the ECG

can future incidents of TLS

be identified and treated.

Hope you've all learned something here today

that will make you better physicians.

On a personal note,

it's ill-advised for residents to date medical students.

Uh-huh.

Is there something that I can help you with?

Yeah. I was looking for April.

She's on a break right now.

But I can answer any question you might have.

Yeah. Uh, my wife, Kate, has this necklace,

and, uh, I think it was a gift from her mother.

And, you know, anyways,

uh, she always wears it,

but the clasp broke, uh, in the accident.

And I know she'd want to have it with her. I just...

I understand. It can be in her hand through the surgery.

I can make sure April gets it.

We can put them back together,

but we can't change their behavior, right?

"I am indeed a king because I know how to rule myself."

Pietro Aretino.

He was a 16th century poet.

What are you getting at, doc?

Well, put it this way: in this case,

the king might be in for a rude awakening

when they drug test him before the race.

Yeah, if he gets tested. Testing's random.

I don't know.

I mean, somebody could make an anonymous phone call,

you know, tipping off the track

that he took a diuretic.

You never know.

Somebody maybe already did.

Dr. Charles. Those signs that you talked about earlier...

The sadness in the eyes, the clenched jaw...

I don't see them.

I'd like to know why they elude me.

You know, I might have some literature in my office

that could illuminate some of this stuff for you.

You got a couple minutes?

Mm.

How's Bria?

Dr. Abrams just started cauterizing the AVM.

He's a really good surgeon.

I just wish he wasn't such a dick.

Keep me posted.

Mm-hmm.

- Rough day, huh? - Yeah.

Grab a bite?

I'd like that.

Dr. Rhodes, Daniel.

We found another recipient for Officer Windham's heart,

but the woman lives in San Diego,

and that's at least a four-hour flight.

If there were a delay,

we couldn't guarantee the heart's viability,

and we cannot postpone harvesting

due to the needs of the recipients of her other organs.

So, therefore?

Meghan Scott will be receiving Officer Windham's heart.

Due to the circumstances, it's the only option we have.

I guess dinner will have to wait.

Yeah.

- Sharon? - Yeah?

- Can we talk? - Of course.

- That's the form. - Here, take this.

What's up?

Sharon, I want to take over Kate Windham's care.

Come on, Maggie.

We've been through this. You know my concerns.

Yes, and I respect them.

But it's closure for me,

and in a way for Kate Windham, too.

And what about her husband?

What about his feelings?

I promise you, I'll make sure he feels comfortable.

I need to do this.

All right.

All right. I'll talk to April.

Okay.

Can I speak to you, Lieutenant Windham?

You good? Okay.

When I became a nurse, I took an oath.

I swore to devote myself to the welfare

of those committed to my care.

That's my job.

When your wife arrested me, she was doing her job.

I bear her no ill will.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

But I want to honor your wife,

if you'll allow me.

Yeah.

No. No!

Ms. Scott, we need to get you upstairs.

No... I don't care.

I'm not going anywhere until I find out about Bria.

She's still in surgery, but doing well.

Right now, the best thing you could do for your daughter is

to take care of yourself.

We'll be right back with someone

to take her up to the OR.

Hey.

You know today wasn't a defeat, right?

I guess.

The whole experience has been a lesson in humility.

Humility. Always been a tough one for me.

Good night.

You know, Clarke... He was out of line today.

But he was really in your corner.

Yeah.

Hey, Jeff! You want to get a drink?

I'll meet you over there.

A nice move, Daniel. Anonymous phone call.

We do what we can, sister.

Yes, we do.

So, the M&M.

Stohl called you my white knight.

I know, Nat, and I feel terrible.

And I... and I heard what he said about dating.

No, Jeff. I can handle that.

I'm just really sorry.

It should be me apologizing to you.

Why? I'm the one who made everything worse.

I haven't been fair to you.

Stohl also said that he hoped we all learned something today.

And I did.

When Jeff died,

it created this void,

this hole in my life,

and in my heart.

I needed someone to fill that void...

To take the pain away.

And there you were.

I feel like I used you.

You gave me the illusion that my life was fixed and whole.

But it doesn't work that way.

It can, though, Natalie. It can work that way.

And look, I want to be...

Jeff, I think you're a great guy.

You're just not the great guy for me.

This is it?

Yeah.

Dispatch to 2436.

Dispatch to Officer Windham.

Dispatch to Officer Kate Windham.

Officer Windham, your work here is done.

Officer Kathryn Windham graduated

the Chicago Police Academy in 2008.

She served with distinction,

receiving the 21st District Officer of the Month

three times,

two department commendations,

and in 2014, received the Lifesaving Award

for pulling the driver from a burning vehicle.

Officer Windham is survived by her parents,

Robert and Felicia,

her brother, Richard, and her husband, Darryl.

We thank you for your dedication, loyalty,

and years of exemplary service

to the Chicago Police Department,

the citizens of Chicago, Illinois,

and the United States of America.

Know that your strength and love lives on

in your husband and family,

and your honor will live on in all of us.

End of watch, January 12, 2017.

Officer Kate Windham,

star number 2436,

is 10-7.

Gone but never forgotten.

Rest in peace, dear friend,

and protect us from above.

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