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1
00:00:01,470 --> 00:00:02,580
War is hell.
2
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:05,790
The object is to destroy and demoralize.
3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,950
We will gouge out their
eyes, piss in their skulls,
4
00:00:08,950 --> 00:00:11,580
and anything left breathing, we rape!
5
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:14,690
Damn, white people take
this softball shit serious.
6
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,190
This is Brickleberry versus Yellowstone.
7
00:00:17,190 --> 00:00:19,040
I got 2 G's on this game!
8
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,560
Now, in the spirit of
baseball, let's pray...
9
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,390
That they all get Lou Gehrig's disease.
10
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,890
- Amen.
- Shouldn't we wait for Ethel?
11
00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:27,620
I think she went to
look for her boyfriend.
12
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:29,190
Who's the lucky fella this week?
13
00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:30,430
Slut.
14
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:33,130
Sorry, I had something in my
throat before I said, "slut".
15
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,980
Honey? The game's about to start.
What are you doing in there?
16
00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:35,990
Be out in a minute! I'm taping up.
Honey? The game's about to start.
What are you doing in there?
17
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:38,090
Be out in a minute! I'm taping up.
18
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,890
Oh, don't be so shy.
19
00:00:41,510 --> 00:00:42,700
Oh, my God!
20
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,630
You are cheating on me with two women?
21
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:45,940
It's not what it looks like.
22
00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:48,030
See? Only one woman.
23
00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:51,270
They're conjoined twins.
24
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,930
Aw, come on!
25
00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:55,770
I don't even like the one
that controls the legs!
26
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:58,840
So, uh, where were we?
27
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,310
I was the one who
uncrossed our legs for you.
28
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,140
Call me.
29
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,560
Damn it, you bastards! This
is the bottom of the ninth!
30
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,990
It's our last chance.
31
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,700
Come on, rally bear. Show some spirit.
32
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,930
Why can't you dance
like those black bears?
33
00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:28,940
Go yellow, go Yellowstone!
34
00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:32,440
I am fighting the urge to
say something horribly racist.
35
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,880
Oh, that reminds me.
36
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,080
Denzel! Steal third base!
37
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,580
Pretend it's a car stereo.
38
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:40,650
I'ma kill that cracker one day.
39
00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:43,050
So, what are you doing after the game?
40
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,720
I think you have the
wrong impression of me.
41
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,620
I'm a lesbian, Sir.
42
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:48,540
Ouch.
43
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:52,930
All right, next up?
44
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,830
Aw, Christ, it's Steve.
45
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:58,710
Come on, easy out!
46
00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:01,540
Come on, Steve, don't choke!
47
00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:03,100
Let's hear it for Steve!
48
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,470
Don't choke, Steve!
49
00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:07,610
Don't choke, Steve! Don't choke, Steve!
50
00:02:07,610 --> 00:02:09,510
Listen to that crowd, Steve.
51
00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:12,450
You're their hero. And you're 0 for 9.
52
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:17,790
Statistically, you're almost
guaranteed to get a hit.
53
00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:32,400
- You're out.
- Out?
54
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,730
How am I out?
55
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,540
Because you slid into the
pitcher's mound, moron.
56
00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:37,870
Yellowstone wins.
57
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:40,930
- Boo!
- Steve sucks!
58
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,010
- Steve sucks!
- Loser!
59
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:47,110
Burning!
60
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,940
Burn! Burning!
61
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:51,850
Thank God!
62
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:56,670
So we lost the bet. This isn't so bad.
63
00:02:56,670 --> 00:03:00,060
One lap around the field naked
isn't the end of the world.
64
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,160
Oh, what is that?
65
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,600
Damn, I see your balls, but where is...
66
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,000
It looks like you have
a vagina with balls.
67
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,600
- You have a ball gina.
- Okay, okay.
68
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,710
I don't know whether to
be grossed out or horny.
69
00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:13,700
I'm really confused right now.
70
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:17,580
The point is we're still a team, right?
71
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,680
Aw, okay. There it is.
72
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,950
Damn, man. Looks like your
dick is stuck in quicksand.
73
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,350
Come on. You guys can't be mad at me.
74
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:28,080
Here you go, little fella. Grab
on to this and I'll pull you out.
75
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,450
I'll get you to safety.
76
00:03:29,450 --> 00:03:32,270
I'm not mad at you, Steve.
77
00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:35,000
I just can't believe Carl cheated on me.
78
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,270
I am so done with him. I do
have self-respect, you know.
79
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:41,680
Oh, I know you do, sugar snatch.
80
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,900
Oh, Carl.
81
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:47,160
Now, you losers ready to do your lap?
82
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:58,380
All right, good warm-up lap.
Now take 'em out on the pavement.
83
00:03:58,490 --> 00:04:00,520
Who agreed to that bet?
84
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,890
Ah, Steve did.
85
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:03,960
I didn't think we could lose.
86
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,090
- We'll get 'em next week!
- Next week?
87
00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:08,460
I lost 2 grand on that game, Steve!
88
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,630
I don't know how I'm
gonna pay up, Steve!
89
00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:12,730
Oh, you'll find a way to pay me.
90
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,370
They always do.
91
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,970
Guys, it's not my fault
I can't play baseball.
92
00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:20,510
No one ever taught me.
93
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:24,130
You gotta remember, I
grew up without a father.
94
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,560
- Aw, Christ.
- Blah, blah, blah.
95
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:26,940
- Oh, brother!
- Gay.
96
00:04:26,940 --> 00:04:29,780
It's true. My father, Jonah Williams,
97
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:34,890
was the greatest Park Ranger
Brickleberry had ever seen.
98
00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:39,170
He was a hero to both
man and beast alike.
99
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,860
There was nothing he couldn't do...
100
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,320
And he never failed to amaze us.
101
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:50,490
But tragedy struck when he took
me on my first camping trip.
102
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,270
It all started very innocently.
103
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:55,910
"The doctor says Steve needs
anti-psychotic medication".
104
00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:57,750
"We are Christian scientists!
105
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,450
I'll snap your neck, woman!"
106
00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:01,620
"Aah! You're hurting me!"
107
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,850
"Aw, take that in the back!
108
00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,920
That (Bleep)ing goddamn
mother(Bleep)ing".
109
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,930
But things took a dark turn,
and someone needed his help.
110
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:13,150
My dolly!
111
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:23,790
I'm okay, son.
112
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,540
I'm okay, son!
113
00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,200
I'm still okay, son!
114
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,990
That one hurt a little!
115
00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:47,800
The only comfort I get is
that he died peacefully.
116
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,660
- Wow.
- Aw, please.
117
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:52,800
Steve uses not having a dad
as an excuse for everything.
118
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,100
Damn! Ow! Ouch! Ow! Oh! Oh!
119
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,320
My father never taught me how to fight.
120
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,510
Sorry, Denzel.
121
00:05:59,510 --> 00:06:01,310
My father never taught
me how to post bail.
122
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,410
My father never taught
me how to ride a bike!
123
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:04,680
Look out, look out, look out!
124
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,950
Aah! Double-paned!
125
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,450
Tempered! Stained glass!
126
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:09,450
Storm window!
127
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,670
Glass ceiling!
128
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,150
That one stopped me.
129
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,930
Enough excuses, Steve.
130
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:17,480
Denzel never had a dad,
and he's not a wuss.
131
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,010
Woody, my father raised me.
132
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,410
By "father" you mean
"grandmother," right?
133
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:24,210
Look, guys, I know I let you down.
134
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,190
But those days are over.
135
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:30,490
The next chance I get, I'm gonna prove
that I'm more of a man than anyone here.
136
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,960
Including her.
137
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,730
Uh, hi. Um, I've got
a real problem here.
138
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,660
My campsite is littered
with half-eaten goats.
139
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:40,420
Half-eaten goats?
140
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,830
Crap. Looks like it's
that rabid cougar again.
141
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,070
Which one of you is gonna hunt him down?
142
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,330
You know what?
143
00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:49,380
I've been looking for an
opportunity to prove my manhood
144
00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:51,360
since about 30 seconds ago.
145
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,590
I'll do it.
146
00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:56,420
Sorry, I guess you didn't know
that I wasn't finished speaking.
147
00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:58,250
I'd like my $10 camping fee back.
148
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:02,860
No problem, I'll just
run your credit card.
149
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:07,060
Done. Should show up on your
statement at the end of the month.
150
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,130
You suck. You are a pile of shit.
151
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,500
And I want you to know that
your parents just called,
152
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,200
and they're getting a divorce.
153
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,800
They said it's your fault,
because you have leukemia
154
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,440
and all your hair's gonna fall out.
155
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,640
Who are you talking to?
156
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,350
Son, we have something to tell
you. We're getting divorced.
157
00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:26,470
And you have leukemia.
158
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,520
Malloy, I know it's past the deadline,
but I've almost got your $2,000 together.
159
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,260
I just need $1,900 more.
160
00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:34,960
You worry too much, Woody.
We'll work something out.
161
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,640
Okay, so what are you thinking?
Some kind of installment plan?
162
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,730
Will you relax?
163
00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:41,270
Here.
164
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:44,150
Sniff this for me.
165
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:53,650
Don't look at me like
that, it's just business.
166
00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:55,510
How am I ever gonna find this cougar?
167
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,050
Follow the dead goats.
168
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:58,750
Good idea, voice in my head.
169
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,650
You sound so much cooler
than when I talk out loud.
170
00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:02,360
It's me, dumb ass.
171
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,820
You picked the wrong time
to start acting like a man.
172
00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:06,530
That cougar's gonna
eat you alive, Steve.
173
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,910
Thanks for the tough love. Namaste.
174
00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,180
"Namaste".
175
00:08:10,180 --> 00:08:15,820
Nah, I'ma stay right here
where there ain't no cougars.
176
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,980
Your suffering is over.
177
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,260
Mercy is upon you.
178
00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,310
Uh, sorry about that.
179
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,720
Now, mercy will be upon you.
180
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,120
Almost done.
181
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,110
You'll be with Jesus soon.
182
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:36,970
Die!
183
00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:45,510
Save a place for me in heaven, friend.
184
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,970
That must be where it lives.
185
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,590
Be a man, Steve.
186
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:02,770
Be a man, be a man, be a man,
187
00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,580
be a man, be a man, be a man, be a man.
188
00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:10,740
I don't want to be a man!
189
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:19,400
Dad?
190
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,900
Oh, my God. Dad!
191
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,020
It's you!
192
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,330
I have one question for you, dad.
193
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,790
Why do I have a ball gina?
194
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,930
- That's your dad?
- Yeah.
195
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:40,560
Dad, meet Denzel.
196
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,680
No! Eh, eh, eh! Eh, eh, eh, dad!
197
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:47,490
Jonah, listen, sorry
I never looked for you.
198
00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:50,730
I meant to, but your wife was
in dire need of comforting,
199
00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:53,000
way down deep in her uterus.
200
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,930
I've held my tongue long enough.
201
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:58,350
Your dad smells like shit.
202
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,040
Don't tell me you're still
pissed about this kidney thing,
203
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,300
because I've moved on.
204
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:08,200
The important thing is my dad is
back and he hasn't changed a bit.
205
00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:13,800
- Well, that's kind of new.
- Yo, that's messed up.
206
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,450
I'll tell you what's messed up...
207
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,290
Your judgmental attitude.
208
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:22,370
Father just needs a little
help readjusting to society.
209
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:25,230
Dad's new comedy bit. He's almost done.
210
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:28,010
Okay, that's enough.
211
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:29,490
Okay, pops, we get it.
212
00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:31,370
Please don't finish.
213
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,210
Why do I always fall for the wrong guy?
214
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,140
I just want a nice guy, someone
who will treat me with respect.
215
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:45,780
I bet that person's
closer than you think.
216
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:50,290
Oh, Connie, I'm so lucky to
have a platonic friend like you.
217
00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:52,750
Stop being so chicken shit, Connie.
218
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,090
Tell her how you feel.
219
00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:57,490
Tell her you want to start a fire
by rubbing your 'ginas together.
220
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,990
Don't talk about her like that.
221
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,310
Talk about who like that?
222
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:02,170
Ellen's on.
223
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:07,740
Now, father, since you've
returned to the civilized world,
224
00:11:07,740 --> 00:11:09,300
it's crucial that you
learn the difference
225
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:13,480
between a salad fork and a dessert fork.
226
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,610
No, no, no. Salad fork.
227
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,470
Hmm?
228
00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:23,950
What is going on here?
229
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,170
Armando, these are people
trying to have a nice meal.
230
00:11:26,170 --> 00:11:27,890
Why you bother them?
231
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:30,070
Allow me to apologize
on Armando's behalf.
232
00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:33,070
He is new, but he is very good boy.
233
00:11:33,070 --> 00:11:38,000
Armando, uh, why don't you go and get
these nice people some free bread sticks?
234
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,400
You come back anytime.
235
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:45,280
Anybody you wanna stab him in
the neck, you go right ahead.
236
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,000
Yippee!
237
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,460
Aah! Aah!
238
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,180
All aboard the Williams
and Son rail road!
239
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:31,190
Now departing for happily ever after!
240
00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:32,970
You know what would
make this even better?
241
00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:35,310
Snow cones.
242
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,490
Hey, Steve, I'm doing
my match dot com profile,
243
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,500
and I need a polite way
to say "no Armenians".
244
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,430
Now, do you think they'll take a
hint if I say I don't like uni-brows,
245
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:49,050
or should I also throw
in "no white BMW's"?
246
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,840
Oh, hello. You must be Steve's father.
247
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,210
Excuse me. I just said hello.
248
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:55,840
Is that any way to treat a woman?
249
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,990
You're rude, you're
disrespectful, you're...
250
00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:01,280
Just my type.
251
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:06,080
- Do you want tutti-frutti
or goo-goo gra...
252
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,430
Are you just gonna sit
there and do nothing
253
00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:17,730
while that creep bangs your true love?
254
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,380
Ethel's a grown woman. She
can date whoever she wants.
255
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,490
You're pathetic.
256
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:24,280
You don't even deserve
an evil alter ego.
257
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,130
I'm not listening to you.
258
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:29,880
Why are we yelling at deer piss?
259
00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,210
It's not fair.
260
00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:36,650
My father and I were just starting
to rebuild our relationship.
261
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:40,590
I shouldn't have to share him with her.
262
00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:41,940
Darling, I'll handle this.
263
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:45,670
Steve, you're going to have to accept
that what your father and I have is real.
264
00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:46,840
Real kinky.
265
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,810
Anything you can
imagine, we've tried it.
266
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,040
Think about that for a minute.
267
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:52,420
See? She's driving me crazy.
268
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,190
And how does that make you feel?
269
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,480
Crazy. Wow, you're good.
270
00:13:56,490 --> 00:13:58,350
Doctor, I understand Steve's pain,
271
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,660
but Jonah's unlike any
man I've dated before.
272
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,590
Sure, he doesn't say much, but so what?
273
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,590
My banter is charming
enough for two people.
274
00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:10,080
That's a good one, Ethel.
Oh, it certainly is.
275
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,770
No, now is not the
right time, sweetheart.
276
00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:13,970
Fine, I'll tell him.
277
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:17,170
Steve, your father and
I, we're getting married.
278
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:18,270
What?
279
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,810
I'm sorry you had to learn this way.
280
00:14:19,810 --> 00:14:21,680
I was hoping you'd find out on Facebook.
281
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,010
I can't handle this.
282
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,310
You need to choose, dad.
283
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:27,070
It's her or me.
284
00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:31,720
I see you've made your choice.
285
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:36,790
Good news, I'm getting 2 grand for your
kidney on the Jamaican black market.
286
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,600
As far as I'm concerned, we're square.
287
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,030
Come on, snuggly-wubs,
don't sell my kidney.
288
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:44,470
Just give me a chance to win
it back, double or nothing.
289
00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,700
- I don't know.
- Please, give me a chance!
290
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,500
- I'll bet on anything you want!
- I bet you will.
291
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:51,370
- Okay, let's bet.
- We just did.
292
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,980
- Did I win?
- Ooh, you lost.
293
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,400
Goddamn it!
294
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,820
Oh, man, he's on a roll.
295
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,850
That was such a fun night.
296
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,950
Sounds like we both have a problem.
297
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:06,090
Who are you?
298
00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:07,470
Oh, Connie.
299
00:15:07,470 --> 00:15:09,020
Here's the thing, Steve.
300
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,330
Neither of us want
this wedding to happen.
301
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,570
Perhaps we should join forces.
302
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,760
Yeah, join forces.
303
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,410
Do as I say...
304
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:21,130
And we'll both be very happy.
305
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:25,770
Yeah, yeah. You're... you're...
you're not gonna hurt my dad, are you?
306
00:15:25,770 --> 00:15:27,910
Of course not. He'll be fine...
307
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:29,540
In hell.
308
00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:30,610
How did you do that?
309
00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:34,310
Sorry. I farted on your candle.
310
00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,440
Are you with the bride or the groom?
311
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,920
She's with the bride,
she's with the groom.
312
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,220
Anybody got a chain saw?
313
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:42,860
Sorry I dragged you to this.
314
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:46,700
Actually, I dragged you to this.
315
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,800
Well, I'm happy for you, dad.
316
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,600
No ulterior motives here.
317
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:54,960
Ha! Good one.
318
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,970
Would you excuse me, father?
I need to sabotage the wedding.
319
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:58,770
Not this wedding, a different one.
320
00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:00,790
The Finklesteins, Bob and
Jill. You don't know them.
321
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:02,540
Nobody knows them. They're made up.
322
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,650
Damn it!
323
00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:07,190
So, here it is, my life
savings, just like you wanted.
324
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,400
$400.
325
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,480
So, what are we spending it on?
326
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,620
No, don't tell me. I
want to be surprised.
327
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,480
Woo!
328
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,060
- Woo!
- Ooh!
329
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,190
Uh, I got it.
330
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:22,510
We're gonna hit Ethel with this crate.
331
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:30,500
Oh, Malloy, you make the
cutest ring-"bear"- er.
332
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:31,500
Oh, you are funny.
333
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,510
Is that why you're wearing white
on your wedding day, you whore?
334
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,780
I cannot believe you
brought that thing here.
335
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,510
Talk about passive-aggressive.
336
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:40,320
Come on, let me get even.
337
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,360
One more shot, double or nothing.
338
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,010
You need help, Woody.
You've got a disease.
339
00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:47,290
I know that because when I
tried to sell your kidney,
340
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:49,320
they said, "that man has a disease".
341
00:16:49,330 --> 00:16:50,990
Well, I need to get
this wedding started.
342
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,390
I've only got five minutes
of clean blood left.
343
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,080
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
today to legitimize the fornication
344
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,100
between this beautiful
woman and this man, who...
345
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,700
Oh, God, he's eating a rat.
346
00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,040
Huh? My God.
347
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,510
Connie's totally lost it.
348
00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:08,040
She's planning on murder.
349
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,580
I need to do something.
350
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:13,960
Dad, why don't you and
Ethel switch places?
351
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,420
Crisis averted.
352
00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:17,920
Damn, she's good.
353
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,050
Would you, uh, excuse me, everyone?
354
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:24,070
I, uh, have to make a number two.
355
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,820
Come on.
356
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,440
And now, to save my dad!
357
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:39,160
Marriage is the sacred
union of man and woman,
358
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,670
not man and man, and certainly
not between the races,
359
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,430
except for Spaniards and Asians.
360
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:48,710
They make Filipinos, who are great
looking and desperate for cash.
361
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,870
What are you waiting
for? Pull the trigger.
362
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,240
I don't know if I can do this.
363
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,380
You're a weak, bloated land whale.
364
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:57,480
Why did I even lug that
stupid boudoir up here?
365
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,820
Freeze, you weak, bloated land whale.
366
00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:02,760
Why is everyone picking on me?
367
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,220
Gimme! Gimme!
368
00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:12,650
- No!
369
00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,540
I'm such a dick.
370
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,980
- Whoa!
- Gimme that! Gimme that!
371
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,560
- Uh!
- Uh! Gimme!
372
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,700
I don't usually hit women,
but I have no other choice.
373
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,400
Hey, let me go!
374
00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:38,380
Kegels.
375
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:49,300
This is terrible.
376
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,740
I'll never look in a mirror again.
377
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:53,920
It's gonna make it really
tricky when you shave.
378
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,590
I just want Jonah to be okay.
379
00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:59,310
Well, I want him to be more than okay,
because I love him more than you do.
380
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,160
Oh, Steve, we're not in competition.
381
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,730
We love him in different ways.
382
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,360
Your love is innocent and simple.
383
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,970
Ours is nasty and dirty,
violent and sexual.
384
00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:10,200
Good news, everyone. The
patient's going to make it.
385
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,700
Yay, he's alive.
386
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,870
- Oh, thank God.
- Hell yeah.
387
00:19:13,870 --> 00:19:15,560
Oh, one minor detail.
388
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,740
- He's not your father.
- What?
389
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,530
How do you know that?
390
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:21,230
I know that because he's a bear.
391
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:22,980
- A bear?
- I (Bleep) A bear?
392
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,820
Ooh, even I think that's bad.
393
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:26,690
Yes, he had a bad case of the mange.
394
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,990
Most of his fur fell out,
but now he's as good as new.
395
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,120
Damn it, I bet he was a human.
396
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,240
I thought that was a lock.
397
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,260
You definitely have a gambling problem.
398
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:40,010
When we're done with you, mon, you're
gonna be nothing but a mustache.
399
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:44,630
Well, at least he
didn't get me pregnant.
400
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,390
Good-bye, old bear.
401
00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:59,720
Just so you know, I'm not mad at you
for lying to me and breaking my heart.
402
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,590
Steve, we both saw things in
this bear that we wanted to see,
403
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,830
but we learned from this.
404
00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:06,830
Yeah, I learned I don't need
a father to make me a man.
405
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:11,360
These past few days, I learned how to
ride a bike, and I almost beat up a woman.
406
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,070
That's as manly as it gets.
407
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:15,570
Mmm, and I learned to
be more open-minded.
408
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:16,990
After being intimate with a bear,
409
00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:20,860
I'm almost ready to
consider dating an Armenian.
410
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:23,680
Son, is that you?
411
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:27,050
Oh, no, I'm not falling for that again.
412
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:31,700
My heart.
28590
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