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Okay,
we're talking stereotypes...

Um, let's see. We smell bad.

We don't use deodorant.

Man of course I use deodorant.

We don't shower.

We don't brush our teeth.

There are
maggots living inside us.

Our skin falls off
and wounds don't heal.

We heal, we just heal slowly.

We love heavy metal.

We listen to grunge,
heavy metal.

I was a Dead
Head back in the day.

Oh,
that must be your favorite band.

Hahaha.

Racists, um, worship the devil.

We're born at hell.

When we die,
we're going to hell.

We're dragging your babies
to hell when we return to it.

We walk around the kid and the
parents grab them towards them.

Again, racists.

What's another
thing that they always say?

Um, we walk really, really slow.

We run everywhere, or we
shamble, or we walk really fast

depending on the show you watch.

Like people don't think
we can jog, which is weird.

Come to my game and
you will see how fast I am.

Oh yeah.

We only eat red meat.

Uh, extra rare meat.

I like my steak medium well.

I'm a vegetarian for Christ
sake. I do not eat brains.

Our brains are mush.

Not a lot of
brain activity going on.

That's an acquired
taste for some people.

I've still got my heart.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

We don't tip.

That's good one.

Thanks Carl.

Um...

To kill us you got
to shoot us in the head.

Twice.

Double tap, just to be safe.

We have a really bad temper.

Oh yeah,
we have a temper problem.

Temper. Oh yeah, the temper.

Everybody gets, but when I do
it, it's just, I'm being a
zombie.

Yeah, like everyone
else you get pissed off.

You know I used
to spank my kids.

At any moment we
could all just snap.

Can't really do that anymore.

Times have changed, you know.

Sleepers.

Walkers.

Biters.

Night stalkers.

Morgue Mom.

Yeah, somebody
called me a morgue mom once.

The "Z" word every day.

They just throw
that one out there.

That's what it mostly is,
is Zombie.

We're sex fiends.

We are completely impotent.

That one really grates my nerve
because I just don't get it.

Necrosapiens can mate.

I've got taste, you know, if I
think you're hot, yeah I'm going
to

chase you down,
but not to eat you.

So.

Well maybe part of you, but

no, I think people have a
lot of negative stereotypes and

misunderstandings, you know,
about what Necrosapiens are
really capable of.

You know, it's just like
anything else out in the world,
you know,

people just need to be educated.

And then the worst things they
say is that, you know, we don't
understand

love,
we don't understand anything.

They say we don't
even have a heartbeat.

You know what they say?

What doesn't kill us
only makes us stronger.

Catch that game last night?

You follow soccer? It was crazy.

All tied up, all tied up.

Hey, you look like hell.

Yeah, I was up
with the baby all night.

You look like a Zom-Zebra.

Because you go
that Zebra tie on.

Black and white.

Yeah.

Zebra stripes.

Stripes that look like a Zebra.

Those are squares.

From where you're
standing, maybe, but over here,
they're stripes, you know?

Is there a glare?

Looks like stripes to me.

My name's Keith Taylor.

And, um, I've been at Globalware
for about two and a half years.

I'm a phone salesman, and
I'm a pretty good one, I think.

Uh, I mean,
despite my social setbacks.

Uh, I've been a Necrosapien for,
uh 13 years now, I think ever
since the outbreak

occurred and yeah,
it's rough sometimes.

Yeah.

We, uh, we got, uh, Keith a
couple years ago from a temp
agency out

of Houston and, um, well he's,
he has been a real surprise for
us.

He's punctual,
he's professional.

Um, yeah, sometimes it's
his condition could provide

for some awkward situations.

Um,
I mean he tried to wipe it away.

That was nice of him, but I
mean, how do you address that
really?

How do you, how do you ask a guy
to not to bleed all over the
paperwork?

What am I supposed to do?

Laminate it?

I am really proud of
my job here, all right.

And all the work that I've
done and how far I've come up.

But I mean, I could definitely
be doing a whole lot more around
here than

what they're just
giving me and just,

Call me crazy.

But I just, I feel like I was
hired solely to field some sort
of

diversity quota
from the higher ups.

I can't believe he said that.

But Todd, our current VP of
sales, he's leaving at the end
of the quarter.

And rumor going around is that
they're going to be promoting
from within.

So that's got me
working a lot harder.

I've been doing a lot of extra
work, putting in extra hours.

I've just got to fake a few
more smiles, squeeze a few more

palms and bam, I got the job.

What's up.

You have to be there.

You have to be there.

Yeah.

I mean, I can't complain.

A lot of people have a way worse
than I do and I'm doing pretty
good for myself.

I mean, right off the top of my
head, I think I'm the only
Necrosapien that

I can think of
who has a dental plan.

I just have to grin and bear it,
get through it, and everything
will be fine.

Baseball, it's more
than just a sport to me.

Like, it's life.

You know, when I put on those
cleats, it's just a whole new
world.

Nobody really understands it.

Here's the payoff pitch.

And Holland puts it into play
with a little blooper into left
field.

No Holland wants two.

And Hollands gets two, wow!

Rodriquez,
there's no jogging in baseball.

Not while Holland's running.

Check it out.

The dugout Wants a
little thriller action.

And he's going
to give it to them.

There's no secret about it.

Jeremy's a monster on the field.

Uh, I started coaching
here a couple of years after my

shoulder injury, back in '93.

And, uh, I got to tell you, he
is the got to be the best player
I've had in

that span, leading this
conference in stolen bases,
which is really surprising,

you know,
considering his history.

Not a big power hitter,
but a consistent, always

above .280 every season.

And you can depend on that.

Great in the locker room.

Shit.

I don't think I
should say it now.

I have to say now.

Well, he's not, he's not that
sensitive about the whole
Necrosapien thing.

Like last week I slid into the
second and got cherry on my
elbow.

Hey, Jeremy.

No, no, no, please, please.

Right.

Look, dude.

That's not even close.

All right.

My pastor told me about you.

He said the demon was coming!

So y'all want to
fucking Zombie, huh?

Fuck.

Y'all.

I'm definitely not one of those
guys that gets offended by the
"Z" word.

You know, I know some people
that use the zombie car for any

situation and it's annoying,
really.

I mean, if you have that
attitude, you just make it
harder on yourself.

My name is Bridgette, and I'm a
proud supporter of Texas state
Senator

Dan Basso as he runs against
Mitch McDonald for Texas state
governor.

Ever since Dan Basso came to my
middle school when I was in the
seventh grade,

I knew he was a
man I can believe in.

He's smart.

Honest.

Charismatic.

And he's the kind
of man this state needs.

I'm the kind of
man this state needs.

So when I heard they were
opening up a volunteer center in
Henderson,

I dropped out of law school and
moved here, because I knew this
was

something I had to be a part of.

Hi, there's a lady here
with the new canvassing maps.

Okay.

Excuse me.

I better get that.

I just need 40 hours
for my government class.

I could really
use the extra credit.

All right.

The first thing a volunteer does
when they walk in, is sign in
here first,

then I, or someone else, usually
me, assigns them to their first
task.

We usually start
volunteers on the phone.

As you can see at each desk,
there's a computer and a
landline.

We get the caller information
from the phone companies
legally, and

then we call each registered
voter and from a written script,
inform

them about Dan Basso's campaign.

We don't improvise.

Right, Louis?

No.

We tried that once and it didn't
really work out in our favor.

Landy.

Why don't you
show them how it's done?

Now?

No, next.

Thursday, come on Landy.

Don't be so silly.

Hello.

Hello, is this Mr.

Stoutenburg speaking?

Hello, Mr.

Stoutenburg.

My name is Landy Trapp
and I'm a volunteer with Mr.

Basso's office,
and as I'm sure you know.

I wouldn't be caught dead voting
for some creepy, crawly...

Not every phone calls a walk
in the park, keep it up Landy.

And over here we have Mr.

Isaacs.

Hello, this entire operation is
running things to his hard work.

I like Bridgette.

She's good at what she does, but
one of the things that just
grates my nerves is.

When I'm talking to you, I'm
talking to you, you should
listen to what

I'm saying and not be thinking
about what you're going to say
next.

I mean,
simple mistakes happen that way.

I let her do the shirts for
the Isaac students involvement

scholarship committee, and she
ordered them without even
letting

me see the
designs for the shirts.

So you can see how that
wouldn't have turned out right.

I mean, fuck.

It's not like
I'm crazy or anything.

If we change them now.

We're letting
the terrorists win.

You know, she means well and
everything, but problem is, you
know, nobody wants to

hear what a young Democrat
activist has got to say, at
least around these parts.

East Texas...

God's country, really.

Where the Bible belt begins
and where your troubles end.

Let's see, there's Jacksonville,
Henderson, Carthage where
Bernie.

Tiede's from, Longview, Kilgore.

There's about a hundred of us
lucky enough to be in the heart
of the pine.

To actually be
an East Texas city.

You don't have no six lane
highways or high fivin' or any
of that shit.

And you gotta have a jalapeño
tree. And I mean, that's a must
have.

East Texans don't have a lot of
arrogance, but they do tend to
be set in their ways.

Which makes it kind of tough
if you're a Necrosapien, they're

somewhat narrow-minded people
here, Not me and Pizza Pete's.

We support and welcome the
Necrosapien community as we'd do
everybody else.

They don't tip.

Yeah, they do.

Not to me.

You want to tip?

Get back there and get to making
them damn pizzas if you value
your damn job. Shit.

Pizza Pete's was first
one to have flavored crust.

We inspired a
generation of copy-cats.

Look, I need some
refund or something, right.

We don't do refunds.

You better do refunds!

Dick!

Know what that is?

It's barbecue.

I ordered buffalo.

All right.

Buffalo punk!

Word of mouth!

Pizza Pete's has been proudly
serving the Necrosapien
community since

the first one walked in in 2004.

Start from the beginning.

It all happened when Dallas
restaurant tycoon, Rooster
Johnson,

took a business trip to Tokyo
to test the results of breeding.

Blowfish as a
means of consumption.

The Fugu Blowfish had been a
popular dish in Japan for
centuries,

but if not prepared
correctly, it can be extremely
toxic.

Japanese chef Hiraku Hamasaki
had bred the Fugo Blowfish with

the White Spotted Puffer as a
means to eliminate the toxicity.

Now, the success of this
experiment would result in a
million dollar industry.

Rooster Johnson wanted to
be at the helm of it in America.

He consumed the crossbreed and
experienced no immediate side
effects

and had the new product shipped
several of his restaurants in
Dallas

and Houston
without further testing.

He wanted to beat the
competition, which meant
sneaking the dish around the
FDA.

It wasn't until a month later
that he started noticing side
effects,

increased heart rate, raised
body temperature and reduced
brain activity.

It soon became everything that
George Romero movies had warned
us about.

And by the time
doctors had figured it out.

The cross breed of Blowfish had
been served illegally to over
20,000

customers between
Texas and Louisiana.

About half of the victims were
able to come forward before
their body had been

completely taken
over by the Fugu Plague.

But that still
left over 10,000 people.

Well, zombies,
at the time, running around.

And they were violent.

The only way to limit this
duration, is to apply decisive
force.

The national
guard was called the in.

And they were able to keep the
epidemic from spreading out of
the South.

All zombies that were captured
without fatality were sent to an
extension of the

maximum security
prison in Huntsville.

When it was all said and done
the epidemic had resulted in
approximately

55,000 deaths and 40,000 live
cases of Fugu Plague all under
the roof of.

Huntsville's
Fugu research center.

There were talks about burning
the facility to the ground until
a

young doctor out of Venezuela
came forward with an experiment
that could

reverse the
effect on the victims.

My idea was that by taking a
strand of their newly weaved DNA
and repairing it

with that of a non-infectious
counterpart, we could
successfully, create a heavy

chain antibody that could combat
the virus and eliminate the side
effects.

After a long series of trial and
error, we were able to eliminate

side effects in
90% of Fugu cases.

So the lab opened up a
rehabilitation extension of the
research center.

And with consistent
doses of the therapy.

The first Necrosapien was
released in 2003, from a medical
standpoint they

were fully
functioning human beings again

with minor medical setbacks.

God dammit!

Severe accounts of rage have
been recorded in some cases.

It says right here,
you serve breakfast all day.

That three-putt you has
last hole was really inspiring.

You're gonna give
me my fucking food.

I am calm.

This is calm.

Some of the more physical
side effects were irreversible.

Dry, frail skin
being the most obvious.

They bruise easily and they
have poor blood cell production.

Meaning a cut or laceration
can take much longer to heal.

Even the simplest wounds can
result in a lifelong scar, but
with that

said every day, we're learning
more about the makeup of the
disease and

becoming able to
understand it further.

Our goal is to prevent our
patients from living a life
hindered by the.

Fugu side effects and to
suppress the disease as best we
can, since

that's all we
can really accomplish

as of this point, Fugu survivors
often have trouble making ends
meet.

Benjamin already
tore his ACL, man.

No, look,
I read in the magazine.

All right, he's going to
the fourth, Oh, you read it in a
magazine?

He tweeted two days
ago that he tore his ACL.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Let me change your real quick.

No, no, no.

I swear.

I just looked this up.

Respect the board!

Fucking zombie ass motherfucker.

Asshole.

Shut up.

Of course he's
passing all of his classes.

He's an athlete.

What do you mean by that?

He's not taking astrophysics.

You see his tweet last week?

Yes.

He spelled college wrong, dude.

Collage is what he loves.

Maybe he just finished.

An art piece
comprised of magazine cut-outs.

I don't, I don't think so.

Not a lot of the knowledge
coming from his account.

Well, the thing about
Jeremy is he's an easy target.

Being in the first Necrosapien
athlete, uh, to actually

make some noise nationally.

It's, uh,
that's pretty a big deal.

Last week I tweeted a picture of
a gyro sandwich I got over at
Pepper jacks.

You've never had it.

Your opinion's invalid.

You're an athlete!

Get yourself a man's meal!

And I don't want to pimp the kid
out, but, uh, we need some
sponsorship around here.

You see that?

Fucking Booster club.

Got a show down the road.

I need a car to get me there.

You should go.

Cause it's close and you
can use a change in atmosphere.

Come on girls.

We get loose and you just set
down your hair, shout out to
those folks

who came when
nobody seemed to care.

No.

So we can afford
some quality gear like this

my players have to go door to
door selling wrapping paper
every Christmas.

Can you imagine unwrapping your
Christmas present and getting
this?

Hey, fuck you Santa.

A bunch of 50 year old
menopausal women sitting around
trying to come up with

ideas about how to
run a baseball team.

Give me a Fucking break.

You know what?

TSU tacky, stupid and ugly.

The shitty university.

Those fucking bitches.

It's adjustable, but
the things are stuck together.

Then they say don't bite
the hand that feeds you, but...

You can have that shit.

I've been approached by today
shows and, and sport interviews
that all

want a special interview for me,
but I've turned them all down
because

all I want to
do is play baseball.

That's it.

Nothing else.

And if you don't like you don't
like Southland Conference
subdivisional.

Cougar baseball at Travis State!

I keep telling him it's gonna
give him a heart attack one day.

He doesn't listen to me.

Look at this.

Like he, he likes this.

He likes this.

It's disgusting.

I don't know.

Don't tell him I said this, but
like, a human fat and like
butterfat.

Hey, how was work?

Okay.

Same ol', same ol'.

I did have a film
crew following me today.

Well, I hope you're
hungry for spaghetti.

I always am, yeah, right.

You know, you can cook
whenever you feel like it.

Oh, Hey.

You know,
now you've had a long day.

Don't worry about dinner.

I'll cook.

I'll do the dishes for you.

It was fun.

Thank you.

Looks good.

Thanks.

It's almost ready.

Well, Keith and I met and we
started dating in high school.

A Zombie goes to your school?

He just moved here.

This is some bullshit.

Against my father's wishes.

That's it.

You're grounded.

You can't date anybody now.

You can't do that,
we're going to prom together.

You are not going anywhere.

We went to prom together and
everything, and then I followed
him to college.

Hm.

Axe'm Jacks!

Uh, yeah, so I double
majored in finance and
accounting.

And you got what?

An MRS Degree,
that what you got?

I majored in education.

What did, what is MRS?

Isn't she cute?

What was MRS?

Oh, yeah, oh, Mrs.

You're so fucking funny.

Funny.

It's funny.

Yeah, he got his degree in ASS.

I did get my degree in ASS,
then I use it a lot.

Not that impressive.

Anyways, that I guess is a good
a segue as I'm going to get into

what I was going to say next.

About two months ago, Keith and
I decided to start trying to
have a baby.

Well, I don't know if I'd call
it trying, but you know, Oh,

we, we stopped not trying.

A lot.

Heavens to Betsy.

If you thought the Fugu virus
was contagious, you should see

the energy around this place.

There's really something
transcendent when you get a
group of individuals committing

to a cause
greater than themselves.

You guys have eight blocks.

From Martin Luther
King Boulevard to Shady Oaks.

Wait by all the pawn shops?

Remember guys,
don't take no for an answer.

I have you until 2:00, right?

Yup.

Awesome.

Let's get going.

Have you given any thought
as to which of Dan basso's

policies intrigued you the most?

I don't know.

You know you're almost old
enough to be a registered voter,
right?

What?

You are the future of America.

Being an educated voter
is of the utmost importance.

I know.

Okay then.

Let's do some educating,

Noah comes to us from
a Christian prep school.

I'm guessing he doesn't venture
out of his comfort zone too
often.

That's something I
definitely want to change.

You know, show him the world
from a different point of view.

Hi, my name is Bridgette,
and this is Noah.

And we're here to get some
feedback on this upcoming
election.

This November Dan Basso is
running for governor and he's
counting on your vote.

Would you like to give some
input... Is that the zombie
fella?

Yes.

Dan basso is a Necrosapien.

Zombies?

I don't trust them.

Ever since I caught one stealing
copper off the church's AC unit.

Damn vandals.

I wish they'd try
that on my AC unit.

The only Periodic
element they'll get it led.

From a bullet or something?

No, from a pencil!

Well, I got my CHL and my
granddaddy's gun collection.

You can bet your ass.

I'll be ready for
that second apocalypse.

Alright.

I think we got it.

That bad ass enough for you?

Yeah, very, because I got my
bow and arrow right over there.

I can put it on too.

Oh, okay.

Well, would you like a
Dan Basso lawn sign, maybe a

shirt or a bumper sticker, or

what are you doing?

Go.

Run, run, run.

Jim,
what are you still doing here?

Not a day goes by where I don't
ask myself that same thing.

You were supposed to pick Bonnie
up from debate an hour ago.

I Thought she had debate on
Tuesdays and tutoring was on
Mondays.

Nope.

Debate's on Monday.

What the hell dad?

I had to walk all the way from
the park and the Jameson's dog

started biting at my ankle.

Where did you
learn to talk like that?

I don't know what the
hell she's talking about.

You should learn to
watch what you say around her.

She's still sweet.

Unlike... mom!

Mom, have you
seen my pink halter top?

No, I haven't.

Dad?

Yeah.

I wore it to work yesterday.

That's not funny, dad.

I have a date tonight.

With who?

Hi, Brett.

Hello, Jim.

Go home Brett, you're not taking
my daughter out on that Harley
of yours.

Come on, Jim.

I have her back by 8:00.

8:00?

It's already 7:30.

Yeah.

Should give us a
little more than 12 hours.

You know Dad, you really should
warm up to Brett because

not now, honey

after I graduate,
we're moving in together.

Over my dead body.

Shows like this stuff
I find really offensive.

You know, it's everything that's
offensive every type of
stereotype you can think

of that we just
want to eliminate.

I mean, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, I know of a
few Necrosapiens that have been
able to

make it into Hollywood, but
there really haven't been any
that have

represented us, you know, the
way, the way we want to be
represented.

Other than that stupid show.

I mean, there's you okay,
actors, I guess, you know, most
of them just wind up

being extras in,
you know, zombie movies.

Yeah.

He's not even a
real Necrosapien.

Can you tell me a
little bit about the movie?

No, no, no, no, I can't.

It's just this
piece of shit action star.

Nice car, man.

Get that camera
out of my face, man.

He prances around and
all these zombie films.

Oh, I see.

They don't pay you good.

Puts makeup on his face,
cashes in is big paycheck.

Get that fucking
camera out of my face!

Death Juice push me.

He is zero.

He's Tom Cruise
with no personality.

I mean, but the clip
will speak for itself.

All right.

Well, let's roll that clip.

Death Juice, Xavier Hayes!

Does he think, or does he know?

Knows Definitely.

He's here.

That's impossible.

I saw him die,
I'm going down like this.

Shut up.

Do you even
remember where parked?

Who's thirsty?

Death Mode initiated.

Target locked.

Let's top you off.

Dudley.

Are you offended?

I'm offended, what kind
of fucking question is that?

Have you heard of it, Johnny?

Nah.

Who's that?

What you know, damn well, what
is that like a household name or
something?

It is my house.

Sounds like a
shitty porn star to me.

Oh, I get it.

Playing stupid in
front of the camera.

Wait, wait, wait.

I guess I better
get you hard, then.

Are you kidding me?

Johnny Flesh is always stiff.

Let the madness begin.

Let's do it.

But would you draft him?

Would I draft him 21 stolen
basis and a nine game hit
streak?

Isn't that impressive.

Chet, please.

I'd like to see you swing... I
listened to your soliloquy with
open ears.

Let's go down the
streak game by game.

All right.

Game one, Holland bats
one of four with a single.

Game two Holland bats one of
five with a single and a stolen
base

game three, two of five with
a double and a single and three

strikeouts are
you sensing a pattern?

So what's Moneyball, right?

He gets on base.

He can barely hit
it out of the infield.

This a streak is luck with the
occasional hit happening nine
times in a row.

Michael P I'm not drafting.

What?

He's an average
hitter at best with wheels.

Guys like that
are a dime a dozen.

Chet I'm leaving.

I'm picking the same guy late
in the draft who won't bring so

many distractions to my team.

Distractions?

Chet care, to elaborate?

It's no secret that Jeremy
Holland trying not only to be
the first Necrosapien

in the MLB, but the first one is
all a professional sports, has
baggage.

He's a media target.

Whatever.

I mean, the media hounds him,
you said earlier, he's under a
microscope.

And to me, that kind of
attention presents distractions
in the locker room.

It can destroy team chemistry, a
speedster with an occasional
single

doesn't get to bring that kind
of baggage to my baseball team.

All right.

Jeremy Holland, quite the
polarizing figure of next LeBron
Superbowl pick.

More after this.

No, no, we're not married.

We just lived together.

Don't tell my grandma.

I mean, yeah, it sucks that
legally we're not married, but
we don't,

we don't let that bother us.

I mean, Necrosapien
marriage is only legal in Iowa.

I think.

The only thing we can do is vote
for Basso and continue living
our lives.

In my heart he's my husband.

And I'm fine with that.

Yeah.

We catch people staring a lot.

I mean, what can you do?

I like to see it as
their problem, not ours.

If they want to let us ruin
their day, that's their choice.

I know one day the law is going
to catch up with the times and

people will recognize the fact
that we're husband and wife, but

until that day comes,
we're fine.

We were supposed to
leave 30 minutes ago.

Let's go.

Uh,
we are on our way to the doctor.

It's been about four
months and we've gotten nothing.

So I made, I made us an
appointment at a fertility
clinic try to figure out

why there's nothing,
cooking down there.

Oh yeah.

Well said.

Keith Taylor.

Keith and Sarah, right?

Yes.

She's Sarah.

Ah, yes.

Uh, I have been looking very
closely at your charts and
Sarah, there is

absolutely
nothing wrong with you.

The issue, however, with the
fertilization might be a
condition called varicocele.

Keith, do you know what that is?

Uh, uh, no, no, I don't.

Okay.

When you acquired the virus some
years ago, uh, this probably

developed, it's a very common
issue with Necrosapiens, such as
yourself.

And basically it's
varicose veins of the balls.

Hm.

Yeah.

Your balls.

And so, as a result of that, uh,
the increased blood flow to the

scrotum,
it raises the temperature.

And because of that, uh, you
often will have decreased sperm

production,
and possible motility.

Does that make sense?

Hm.

Okay.

Anyway, uh, let me ask you this,
have you now, or at any time had

issues with sperm production?

I don't think so.

Yes.

I see.

There are surgeries for this,
uh, and I don't mean to alarm
you,

but, uh, there's still a decent
chance that you can get a right.

You've been at
this four months, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Four months.

Okay.

Well,
Rome was not built in a day.

Yeah, I guess not.

It wasn't.

My recommendation.

Y'all keep trying that's
about all you can do right now.

Okay.

Well, we don't.

Yeah, that's alright.

Thank you doctor.

Not a problem.

Any time.

Come on baby.

Let's go.

I'm tired of
staring at that asshole.

Which one?

Good evening
from channel 11 news.

Our top story tonight, most of
you have heard that the battle
of.

Necrosapien marriage was taken
to the streets of East Texas.

More specifically,
the streets owning a Mr.

Pippin's Chicken, Fred.

That's right, Dina.

Earlier this week, CEO and
Carthage native Arnold Pippin
stated in an

interview that he was a
supporter of traditional
marriage and didn't believe.

Necrosapiens had
the right to marry.

Well it's stated in the Bible
who soever touches the body of
any man that is dead

defileith the
tabernacle of the Lord.

And who am I to
argue with the Lord?

In response, hundreds of
Necrosapiens gathered in front
of Mr.

Pippin's Chicken across
the pine curtain and protest.

We boycott this.

Okay.

You paid for them, right?

Yes.

We did pay for that.

We paid for it.

We also stomped it out.

Give us the thing.

We going to go buy some
chicken nuggets right now?

How much money you got?

The man, he knows what he's
talking about and he knows his
chicken.

Pippin
supporters for just as vocal.

It's just it's unnatural.

It was only 10 years
ago they were eating people.

Can you imagine if Sylvia came
home with a Necrosapien on her
arm?

Right?

I know it's Adam and Eve,
Adam and Eve, not Adam and...

You want to quote the
Bible, how about treat others
the

way you want to be treated.

Necrosapiens, get treated
like second class citizens on a
daily basis.

And for you to address them as
such is an abomination that only
goes

to show your lack of
knowledge, compassion and
innovation.

Oh, and your
chicken tastes like shit.

As you can see some rustled
feathers, Dina, and get this at
the end of the day,

their protests were
met with defeat as Mr.

Pippin's Chicken reported their
sales at 17% higher than
projected.

I guess it's true.

What they say, Dina,
any publicity is good...

Oh shit.

Y'all were serious.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think we
woke up your roommates.

Yeah, man.

Well, he ate my Pops
Tarts yesterday, so fuck him.

Yo, let's get to work.

Trick or Treat.

Hey kids, what are you guys?

I'm Luigi.

I'm a princess.

Um, it's okay, go ahead and say,
what, what are you?

Hey kids.

How about we come
and get some candy?

Huh?

There you go.

You're welcome.

She wasn't worth it, baby.

It's Okay.

Bitch.

What's up my bro, my necro.

What's Good, man?

I haven't seen this
since the Keenan's Halloween.

Halloween.

Hey, Wesley and Woody, bro.

I can hear Jimmy though.

I can hear.

My necro.

What up Zombie?

What the duck you just say?

Oh, is he?

Let him speak for himself.

He's a fucking grown man.

He's cool, man.

He's cool.

Cool.

I'm sorry.

Didn't mean to offend you.

Sorry.

I had a few.

That's cool.

We should go to Annex.

Oh yeah, bro.

Look, let me finish up here
and I'll meet you out there.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

This place dead.

Anyway.

The internet says that aren't
pretty much in the slump, which
really means

that sports media
just needed a headline.

I mean, I guess my last five
games haven't really been my
best.

But still let's
not jump to conclusions.

All right.

Hey at real Jeremy Holland,
hashtag zombie kill of the week

goes to your batting average.

Alright.

Alright.

That's funny.

Jeremy Holland is so ugly, bro.

That Swiss cheese face, bro.

At real Jeremy
Holland is a fart muncher.

This guy can't even spell man.

What's with the hype
with at real Jeremy Holland.

He's not even that good.

Fuck that guy.

Oh god.

That's not creepy.

Come on guys.

Excuse me, excuse me, sorry.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Talk to me, Keith.

So Phil, our traveling salesman,
he called in sick this morning.

So they asked me to step in and
do the presentation that he was

supposed to give
today for the board.

And.

Uh, I think I'm ready.

I think it's
gonna go pretty good.

I'm just really exhausted today.

Sarah and I have been going, you
had it double duty a lot lately.

The doctor He told us to
really just keep working at it.

So I'm in know I'm hammering
that away, but, um, I'd be lying
if I didn't say

that I was really exhausted and
I'm pretty stressed out and
worried about today.

Keep the chin up and
hope that it gets better.

Wish me luck?

So at the end of the day,
I think we can all rest and
sleep soundly knowing that

our services are keeping your
company running and we're going
to help you

uh, integrate your
applications and your content
into your

company's
existing infrastructure.

So, uh, and plus we have a great
savvy team of warriors in, uh,

they're going to be there for
any of your customer service
needs.

Yes, sir.

I have a colleague, um, whose
company is partners, um, with

your branch in Corpus Christi.

And he often tells me.

That he's disappointed in the
customer service aspect of your
company.

My question is, do you guys
operate under the same code of
conduct?

What, what if you're warriors?

Um,
aren't able to satisfy my needs?

A condition called vericocele.

What if you don't
satisfy me as a customer?

I don't think so.

Why wouldn't I be
able to satisfy you?

I'm asking is, am I just out of
luck if your unit's unable to
perform?

Yeah, your balls.

Not that impressive.

My unit?

My, our warriors are more than
capable of meeting any of your
needs.

Yeah, we've got a much higher, a
much better, uh, ways and means,
I guess

you could say in judging in and
in our hiring of our customer
service.

I know what you're talking about
with our Corpus Christi group
and

they operate under a much lower
criteria of hiring and we have a

much,
much better criteria of hiring.

Are we are, are,
we can satisfy you are my unit.

My, we can satisfy,
we're... we're just different.

I mean, that's, we're different.

Okay.

Thanks.

Yeah.

We'll call you.

Yeah, so we didn't get signed,

Chicken tastes like shit,
like shit, like shit.

Um, I'm a
volunteer here and I'm new.

I really don't
appreciate the tone.

Baby.

Hey baby, you have a
little hummus on your cheek.

Is it gone?

Uh, could you sign my paper?

My mom's going to be here soon.

Um,
you wrote four hours for today.

You've only
worked three and a half.

Here's a one, one pitch.

This one's leaving the yard.

She cares a lot about her cause.

She's a tireless fighter, She
can come off just a little
intense

sometimes, but we need someone.

Yes.

No,
I'm just doing this interview.

Yes.

Just making sure.

Okay.

I'll get back to work as
soon as I finish the interview.

I have you until six.

Remember?

I know.

And I only sign up for hours,
spent working.

And so does your parole officer.

I was holding that for a friend.

I know I can
come off as a bitch.

Trust me, I'm well aware, but
nothing would get done around
here if I held

everyone's hand
and coddled them.

Do you want to do goof off?

Okay.

Play with the Mitch McDonald
Republican party puppet.

My job here
isn't to make friends.

Bridgette was bullied a lot as a
child growing up is hard enough
as it is,

and with the
sudden loss of her father.

And Bridgette was daddy's little
girl and a tomboy for days.

Yeah.

She didn't cope well at all.

Right.

I gotta hand it to her though.

She's the strongest woman.

I know.

And I'm proud of that.

Oh, I forgot about these,
Oh, look at these.

Oh, Rick used to take Bridgette
out to the gun range and shoot

their pistols and revolvers.

Hell he'd even go
out back sometimes.

You know, he wasn't the best
husband at times, but I tell you
what he

nailed the whole father thing.

He really knocked
it out of the park.

That's strike three for Holland,
which makes 0-2 today as the
slump continues.

And on a day when the
Scouts are in attendance.

They are?

They're in the
parking lot selling thin mints.

What do you think
this is an open mic?

Just having a little fun here.

Just pretend to be professional.

Broadcasting with a big dip in
your mouth is real professional.

Oh, Whoa.

Jeremy Maurice Holland.

Hope the scouts
didn't hear that one.

Want to try again?

No, I cannot be
late for work.

Just tell them
you got a flat tire.

Come on.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Just-I can't, baby I'm going
to be late for work, please.

I can't be late
for work this week.

I told you about this.

There's a promotion.

I can't, I can't do this again.

Okay.

That's fine.

Whatever.

Look, I want talk
about this right now, right?

No,
it's not just, just go to work.

Go work.

Go.

It's fine.

I don't care.

I got the memo.

Congratulations, Mr.

Vice president.

You're going to do great.

Well, thanks.

You know what?

Uh, we're going to have a
barbecue this weekend, uh... Do

you have a pool at your house?

No, we don't have a pool,
but the neighbors do.

I'm going to try and see, and we
don't really have like an open
door policy...

Dear Globalware employees, we
are pleased to announce that
effective

immediately salesmen Phil Elder
has been promoted to vice
president of sales.

Vice president of vice president
preside... Phil joined
Globalware two months ago,

I've been at Globalware for
about two and a half years now,
it's rough sometimes.

You don't satisfy me.

Please join us in celebrating
his promotion... shut up Carl...

And months of hard work.

Sincerely.

I mean, that's bullshit.

Right?

What you saw?

Phil couldn't sell a
house to a homeless man.

But a homeless guy doesn't
have money to buy a house.

That's why he's homeless.

Know what.

Kevin, just keep on
eating those pot pies.

Okay.

I mean,
they're just doing wonders.

Jerry.

Can we leave
the cameras outside?

No, no camera stay.

Alright.

No, get settled guys.

What's this about.

Okay.

I think you owe me an
explanation as to why Phil got
the promotion over me.

Look, that's a very
inappropriate question and quite
frankly, above your pay grade.

No, I've been here
six months longer than him.

I put in twice the amount of
numbers and ever since Todd
announced that he was

leaving, I've done nothing, but
work my fingers to the bone to
get this promotion.

Oh, look, I know you're upset.

Alright.

But corporate and I thought that
we needed a VP that could
professionally represent

the company and given your
numbers, you know, we wanted to
leave you in a

situation where the
company would succeed.

I mean Keith,
you're dynamite on the phones.

You're basically telling me
that I'm in a dead end position.

You're leaving
no place to succeed.

No, it's not a dead end job.

Alright, great.

Then where's my promotion.

Well, now that you mention it,
there is something that the head

honchos and I were discussing

a great opportunity for you.

How would you like to
head our diversity initiative?

You know, we have so many groups
now, you know, we want to look
to their

internal and external needs and
we thought that, uh, you'd be
someone

that could
spearhead this for us.

I mean, it's not exactly a pay
raise, um, but there's some
perks.

Yeah, you get to go
to Paris twice a year.

France?

France or Texas.

Hello, I'm Dan Basso
and I'm proud of who I am.

What I'm not proud of is that we
live in a state where freedom of
speech

is celebrated, but Necrosapiens
cannot participate in marriage.

As governor I'll put an end
to McDonald's war on marriage.

You know, I think some of us
have forgotten the Texas motto.

Friendship.

Together

we can be friends again.

I'm Dan Basso and I
approve this message.

Brett, have you seen
the Dan Basso commercial?

I thought you'd never ask.

You know, I'm not a
Republican or a Democrat.

I, I come from a crazy place
where we, uh, um, you listen to
both sides

of an issue before we take a
stance, but man, Bassos PR team
is slacking.

What I'm not proud of is
that we live in a state where

freedom of speech is celebrated.

Yikes.

At word, for word verbatim.

That's what it said.

Let that sink in.

How un-American is that?

I mean, it's not like they
caught them off guard or
anything, Kenny.

Brett I know you were never
going to be voting for Basso.

No, never in my life.

I am an avid Mitch McDonald fan.

I got the, got the,
a yard sign and everything.

Until some greasy,
libtard SOB ripped it out.

Really?

I'll get to that another time
though, we got our question of
the day caller.

1510 KTPR.

You are the
question caller of the day.

What is your question?

Mine's a two-parter.

Okay.

First part, where do you get off
putting your right wing horse

crap words,
in Dan Basso's mouth?

He never said he
opposed freedom of speech.

In fact, if you quoted the
entire sentence, you'd see he
was taking

the two issues and exploiting
them for their hypocrisy.

Since we're going to be talking
about hypocrisy, and I take

it you're a Basso supporter.

So,
let me go ahead and ask this.

Um,
Dan Basso is for gun control.

That's not a question.

Well, let me finish.

Oh, we're letting each other
finish sentences now?

Can we have a mature
conversation please, lady?

It would be the first I heard
on this station, but I'm game.

My, my question is was how
is gun control gonna lower crime

rates when it is proven...

Guns are dangerous, Kenny.

They kill people.

You're not listening.

Several cities have banned
firearms and then they reversed

the ban because the crime rate
skyrocketed no guns equals
crime.

Guns equals safe, sweetheart.

Don't mock me.

We'll be less mockable.

For real though.

How can you look at all
these facts and ignore them?

Are your heads so far up Basso's
ass that you ignore every
fallacy he promotes?

Is it absolutely impossible to
support the guy without
committing to

everything he says, uh, I I'm
hell you know, I'm leaning
towards McDonald.

I don't agree with this
Necrosapien marriage stance, but
these

two people represent millions.

Let's not be their sheeple.

Hello?

She hung up.

Really?

About 20 seconds ago.

You didn't say anything.

You were on one of those Kenny
Curbo rants I love so much.

How mature.

Runaway from the truth.

And way to curse on the air.

We can say ass.

Tally whacker.

We might be
able to say that too.

Why not?

We all got one.

We'll end it at that
we're going to talk sports next.

After the break,
this is 1510KTTR, the rant.

The rant!

Holland!

You're a Mama's boy!

There he is.

Look alive holland!

As far as his draft status goes,
he's done in my book.

Just stop.

A hundred percent Vanessa,
Jeremy Holland, you know what?

If Jeremy Holland gets drafted,
I'll wear his jersey around and

parade it around the studio.

Whoa,
can we get this in the archives?

Burn on a DVD because I
wanna hold you to that Chet.

Please do,
because it ain't happening.

I'm about to take
off my mic and leave.

When's lunch?

Is the pizza guy here?

I'm not wasting a pick on a
runner who can't hit and now
he's

proven he's got
a temper problem.

Temper problem?

The guy made one mistake.

What happens when a
fan heckles him in the pros?

You think his
temper is going to go away?

He's proven it.

You can't sit here and
deny it's a part of him.

I think it's a good
time to take a break.

Yeah, I agree.

Coming up next, Johnny
Football's top five rappers.

Oh man.

Dear Gerald you
giant sack of shit.

Please accept this letter.

As my formal resignation from
Globalware as effective of
November 21st, 2016.

Although I mentally
checked out last week.

I have enjoyed my
time at Globalware.

Not true, and I appreciate
everything I've learned about
corporate politics.

If I can assist in the
transition or hiring process
over the next

two weeks, please let me know.

I've been stealing toner and
colored cartridges for months
now.

Thank you again for the
opportunity to work at
Globalware.

Typo.

And again, I apologize
for the break room incident.

You know what fuck it.

Sincerely.

Keith Taylor.

I mean, I'm not going to lead
some sort of diversity
initiative.

I mean, This completely defeats
the purpose of the diversity.

I mean, that's exactly why
Morgan Freeman doesn't support
black history month.

Morgan Freeman.

I didn't realize I was
married to Morgan Freeman.

Funny.

I don't know what they expect.

I'm not going to be
their poster boy for diversity.

Okay.

That's exactly what I'm telling
corporate when they call me next
month.

Ooh, sticking it to corporate.

Bad ass alert .Though, you know,
he could use the extra money

if we ended up having to adopt.

Come on.

We discussed this already.

I mean, we just agreed not to
talk about this until the end of
the year.

No, I mean, can you blame me?

It's a lingering thought.

It's been like six months.

Can we at least open the
floor up for this discussion?

We shouldn't just push it off.

Do we have to
talk about this here?

All right.

If we're going to fight about
it, can please do it in private.

It doesn't have to be a fight,
Keith.

I'm sorry.

All right.

But just, I would really
like to just have a nice meal.

Just not think about anything.

Talk about something else.

Fine.

I'm going to the bathroom.

So I was taking just this
beautiful girl out for dinner.

She, uh, had the most amazing
blue eyes, a great smile and,
uh,

heard about this awesome
Japanese place down the road
from my work.

So go and pick her up and we go
down there and I was just so
nervous and I, I ordered

the first thing I
recognized on the menu.

It was uhhh

blowfish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, I'm one of those guys.

One of the OGs.

But did she put out?

Kevin, that is inappropriate?

What it's a fair question?

I mean, I, I leaned in for a
kiss, but she, she pulled back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, I was over at Pizza Pete's
and I ordered a tasty Buffalo
chicken pizza.

I was just going to
chow down on that all day.

So I got to pick it up.

I pay him the money
and they gave me the pizza.

I looked in the box,
you know, just to make sure.

Cause sometimes
there are mistakes.

Lo and behold, there was,
it was a barbecue pizza.

Brought it up to him
and they show me the receipt.

And the receipt was marked
a barbecue chicken so there's

nothing they could do about it.

And I mean,
I was on the phone, man.

I said, Buffalo.

Buffalo.

Did you react calmly?

It could have been calmer.

All right.

Now, Stephanie, I want you to be
the cashier and Edward I want
you

to go through the event, but I
want you to react in an
appropriate way.

Yes, girl.

Yes.

Oh my gosh.

It's so cheap.

Yeah.

If they were 35
cents like I got them.

Pick up for ed.

Yeah.

Hold on girl.

There's this
creepy guy staring at me.

So I'm have to call
you back in a little bit.

Okay.

Bye.

Love you.

Ed?

Here you go.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, here you go.

Very much.

Oh, Hey.

Yeah.

Sorry.

There's a,
there's a bit of a problem here.

No, I don't want to be that guy,
but, uh, I ordered a buffalo
chicken.

This is, well, this is barbecue.

I'm sorry, sir.

We don't do refunds.

I ordered a Buffalo chicken.

This is, this is barbecue.

It's it wouldn't be a refund.

It would be
doing the right thing.

Sorry, sir.

It's our company policy.

We can't do refunds.

Not what I ordered though.

Um, is there any
way I could make a trade?

I'm sorry, sir.

It's our company policy.

This isn't what
I ordered though.

I think I would know.

What I ordered and what I
ordered was buffalo chicken.

Edward.

Is there a
manager I can speak to?

Sure.

What seems to
be the problem, sir?

Problem is I ordered a buffalo
chicken pizza, and what I got

instead is a
barbecue chicken pizza.

Now maybe they sound alike maybe
on the phone I said the wrong
thing, but can

I please get the
thing that I ordered?

Yeah, we don't do refunds here.

Mother fucker.

Can I please get
the thing that I ordered!

Listen here, sugar britches.

We don't don't
do fucking refunds.

Mother fucker!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you all!

Get him down!

Get him down!

You're all dead!

I've been working with
Necrosapiens for about eight
years now.

And I've seen a lot.

These people come from all
around Texas and Louisiana to
take part in this,

this therapy,
I guess you could call it.

We had fighters with stress
issues, anger issues, sex
issues, and people

who are flat out sick and tired
of being ostracized by the
world.

Because I'm a
minority in a minority.

Um, bitch, please.

We offer support
and encouragement.

And sometimes that's all a human
being needs to keep on living.

Oh, bad news folks, looks like
the game has been called due to
rain.

The good news is.

We're going to see a
doubleheader this Saturday.

Your Batting average,

hashtag overrated.

Zombie be kill of the week...

I've called him a lightweight.

I don't think
he's going to make it.

Cheapskate booster club...

What's up coach, Oh, Whoa.

I didn't even see you there,
with your, you know

shut up, sit down.

Jeremy you wanna
tell me what's going on?

Come on, coach.

Come on, what?

Son you haven't
been yourself lately.

Look at you.

I don't even
recognize you anymore.

And I'm not even
talking about the field.

That's a whole another subject.

It's like, you don't
want to be here anymore.

Do you?

Look

it's not just baseball.

Alright.

It's everything else.

Like what?

I can't go in the public
without being, being criticized
or

heckled or praised man, like...

Son you're going to
have to develop thicker skin.

Okay.

And what I mean by that?

You can't take what
the fans say personally.

You understand?

Son you're a national sensation.

And people are jealous of that.

They want to see you
fail .And you attack a fan.

You're playing
right into their hands.

That's exactly
what they want you to do.

Look at me.

You are better than that.

What do you want to get?

Let's get 50 Shades of Grey.

Yeah.

Okay.

Fine.

What do you want?

Oh, I don't know.

Has the new
Fincher film come out yet?

Ooh, Wrong Turn 6.

What is that?

You've never seen
the Wrong Turn movies?

Oh, they're so
they're so bad.

It's like, you know, typical
horror movie, the kids get lost
in the woods

and then, um, but then they run
into these like hillbilly, like
cannibals.

It's so stupid.

It's... it's bad,
but it's... it's funny.

Yeah.

Hillbilly cannibals.

What's the big deal?

They're zombies.

They're not

they're not zombies.

You wanna watch a zombie film.

Oh God.

It's not a zombie movie.

What do you call it?

It's just a stupid horror movie.

It's not a zombie movie.

Alright.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

So we can watch Wolf of wall
street and we can see 74 pairs
of tits and that's okay,

but we can watch a
stupid horror movie.

It's not even remotely the
same thing, they're not zombie
movies.

You know what?

I'm so tired of the self
righteous crap, Cry me river
full of

zombie tears, I'm so sick of it.

It's stupid.

Just do whatever you want.

How about, how about you
get whatever the fuck you want.

I'm the one with the temper,
right?

What are you doing?

I want to go for a drive.

I just want to go
for a drive by myself.

I don't really want to be with
you at the moment, and I don't

think you need to be with me.

I think we just
need to take a second.

Really?

Fine.

Have a great night.

How about you, new girl?

What's your story?

I don't have a story.

Surely you have a
good reason for being here.

And I know I'm not the only one
wondering what that reason is.

What's your name?

Bridgette.

Okay, Bridgette, some of us
would like to know what you're
feeling.

What am I feeling?

Anxiety, anger,
frustration, helpless.

So helpless.

I feel like no matter how hard I
try, I never make a difference.

And how would you
want to make a difference?

Well, I'm really into politics.

I work at the Dan Basso
volunteer center in Henderson.

I knew it.

You're that girl off that,
the TV!

The Mr.

Pippin's Chicken girl.

You made a fool out of yourself.

I was fighting an injustice.

Excuse me.

Do you honestly think that
necrosapiens shouldn't have the
right to marriage?

Of course not.

You don't think, I believe that.

I mean, Mr. Pippin, he's going
to say and do whatever he feels
like.

Even if it pisses you off.

I mean,
it's the first amendment.

I agree with that.

We have to choose our battles.

I mean, that news coverage made
us look like a bunch of savages.

And going tit for tat, with Mr.

Pippin ain't worth it.

But I'll tell you
what he makes a mean bird.

She's right.

The sauce?

That sauce is the bomb.

How can you guys
defend a man like Mr.

Pippin?

We're in the middle of a war.

Have some goddamn self-respect.

Nobody is at war.

Fuck you!

Bridgette, you mentioned
earlier, anxiety, anger,
helplessness.

These are all
emotions associated with stress.

Now I want you to forget
about politics for a while.

Do you have a hobby?

I don't know.

Well, try harder.

Try to take that activity and
embrace surely there's something
you can

turn to peace just for a moment.

Did I ever tell you
why I never went pro?

Yeah.

Uh, your shoulder.

Yeah, my shoulder best thing
ever happened in my career.

You know, me and my brother,
Jim, we were called up to go and
play for the Marlins.

AAA, back in 92, two brothers
out of Carthage, going to Miami

well we were celebrities
back home, let me tell you.

Now Carthage is a
lot different than Miami.

We fell into the light life.

Oh my God.

Parties, drinking, women.

Ooh.

And we started showing up
to practice hung over, started

showing up to games, hung over.

It just got worse.

And then, uh, one night Jim
and a bunch of his buddies out

drinking all night in a car

right off of 95 overpass,
killed them all.

Well I was devastated.

I didn't think I was
going to be able to get over it.

Team gave me a couple of
weeks off and I didn't even try.

I just, I drank every day.

I couldn't get over it.

And instead of being out there
and trying to play for, for Jim
and play for

myself and the love of the
sport, I just sat around and
felt sorry for myself.

Shoulders was the excuse I
got to use for why I was cut.

Saved my ass.

You understand what I'm saying?

I want to show you something,

take a look at that.

We going to be somebody Jeremy,
but we let everything get in the
way of baseball.

No, I don't tell a
lot of people that story.

Actually, Jeremy's the
first player to ever hear it.

I'm glad he did.

I, uh, I look at
him and I see myself...

I'm reminded of
myself when I was 20.

I really hope he makes
better decisions than I did.

God, I'd like to be watching
him on TV for the next 20 years.

And I know my
brother Jim would too.

Fucking bitches.

Mom, have you
seen my pink halter top?

No, I haven't.

Dad?

Yeah,
I wore it to work yesterday.

Yeah.

You caught her a
little skirmish back there.

I swear, man.

You should see her when
the cameras aren't rolling.

I mean, whatever.

I just needed to
be alone for an hour.

Just take a few deep breaths.

And that's when I remembered our
favorite video store was having
one of those

we're going out
of business sales.

I don't know.

It's a good one.

They're never going to
let you get away with this.

You're a dead man Ramsay.

Join the club.

I guess I'm whipped.

What can I say?

Just leave it at that.

There was something actually
from my childhood that brought
me peace.

I remember as a kid, my dad
would do fun things and turns
out

shooting a gun is a real stress
reliever and an adrenaline rush
too.

I never really had a hobby
before, but I'm willing to give
this one a...

Yes.

Can you sign my sheet?

Looks like you were done.

These 40 hours
flew by fast, huh.

You know, I think Basso stance
on standardized testing was my
favorite.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, why should students
learn for tests instead of their
actual potential?

I also read that schools
receive money based on their

standardized...
Are you ready to go?

Our rides here.

Yeah, let's go.

See you next week.

Yeah.

Lucky girl.

That's how you get on second
base swing and a miss by
Holland, strike one.

You know, I'd like to point out
that we have a season high 78
cougars

in attendance today, and all of
us are eager to see J-Holl can
shake

his slump and forget that
incident he had with the fan
last week.

Are you referring to the
incident that we were
specifically

told not to talk about today?

Since you brought it up.

I thought I saw that same fan on
the prowl after yesterday's
game.

And the 0-1 pitch from Clayton.

Catches Holland looking at
a beautiful sinker down and way.

Count is 0-2.

And just a reminder folks
today's doubleheader is brought
to you

online courtesy of Pizza Pete's.

So hang onto your ticket stubs
and receive half off on any
medium one topic pizza.

Oh, this one's going
deep into right field.

Haulin' down
that baseline.

Holland rounds two.

Oh and it hits the wall.

Here it comes.

Walk off inside the park.

The throw is not in time.

Keep those tickets stubs
kiddies, Daddy's bringing home
Pizza Pete's.

The first pick in the MLB draft,
the Florida Marlins select
Jacob.

I don't have any management
experience, but I'm a quick

learner and very adaptable.

In fact, if you look at last
year's numbers, you'll see that

mine were unaffected by our new
sales regulation set in April.

I'm the only salesman in
Carthage who could say that.

Pull!

With the second pick in the MLB
draft, the Chicago Cubs select
Ethan Carthright.

We're usually a little leery
about hiring somebody without
management experience.

But in this case, I'm going to
move forward with your
application.

Can't judge a book
by its cover, right?

Early polls indicate that State
Senator Basso to have the slight
edge.

Going to Mexico folks.

Taxes and fights and nagging
about the cleaning, and now we
get to do it.

Now I can't promise peace and
prosperity overnight, but I can

and I will take the right steps
to gain the momentum to
resurrect the

pride and honor
our state demands.

Yes, sir.

With the 11th pick in the MLB
draft the Houston Astros select
Jeremy Holland.

Chet,
I didn't think you'd do it.

Purple looks good on you.

I like it.

We are the lonestar state,
but we must act together.

Together we can live again.

I got a barbecue chicken.

Which I guess is
okay in the long run.

In the grand scheme of things, I
guess it's not really bothering

anyone, but if it's not too much
of an inconvenience I swear to
God, it

was Buffalo and it would be nice
if I could maybe get that traded
out.

Here you go.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Cool.