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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:12,012 [cheers and applause] 2 00:00:14,704 --> 00:00:17,533 - Y'all remember them old black-and-white sitcoms? 3 00:00:17,534 --> 00:00:19,832 You know, the ones where Black people was either a maid 4 00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:22,401 or an off-screen nigga that was lynched 5 00:00:22,485 --> 00:00:26,054 by a daddy who had just got home? 6 00:00:26,138 --> 00:00:28,445 When I was a kid, y'all, I dreamed of having 7 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,879 a perfect family like that. 8 00:00:30,963 --> 00:00:35,054 You know, no drama, no kids talking back. 9 00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:37,444 Their version of shopping is not stealing 10 00:00:37,528 --> 00:00:39,834 out the damn Goodwill donation box. 11 00:00:39,918 --> 00:00:41,833 [laughter] 12 00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:43,268 You know what? 13 00:00:43,354 --> 00:00:45,312 I really feel like I have that now. 14 00:00:45,397 --> 00:00:49,445 Trouble is, life isn't black or white. 15 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,485 It's more like that gray hair 16 00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:53,380 that hanging off your grandma chin. 17 00:00:53,396 --> 00:00:55,572 [laughter] 18 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,832 Let's get this shit started. 19 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,877 [cheers and applause] 20 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:08,611 - "The Ms. Pat Show" was filmed in front 21 00:01:08,612 --> 00:01:10,657 of a live studio audience. 22 00:01:10,742 --> 00:01:13,571 [tranquil orchestral music] 23 00:01:13,655 --> 00:01:18,660 ♪ ♪ 24 00:01:18,741 --> 00:01:20,613 - Here is your rent money, Mother. 25 00:01:20,698 --> 00:01:22,874 I even put an extra 100 on top for you. 26 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,135 - Oh, you shouldn't have, my brilliant bum. 27 00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:27,218 - I just wanted to show you how appreciative I am 28 00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:28,957 for letting me live here and giving me access 29 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,739 to all of your hard-earned motherly wisdom. 30 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,351 Oh, no. 31 00:01:32,352 --> 00:01:34,174 I hope I didn't miss any of Mama's hard-earned 32 00:01:34,175 --> 00:01:36,786 motherly wisdom, did I? 33 00:01:36,870 --> 00:01:38,741 Mother, are you baking again? 34 00:01:38,826 --> 00:01:40,306 Can I have a cookie? 35 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,741 - No. [all gasp] 36 00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:44,264 - You're too darn sweet as it is. 37 00:01:44,348 --> 00:01:45,914 Oh, Mama. 38 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,958 Oh, that's my mama. 39 00:01:48,043 --> 00:01:51,046 Honey, I'm home! 40 00:01:51,130 --> 00:01:53,176 Ahh! 41 00:01:53,177 --> 00:01:57,346 - Here's your scotch, and your slippers are on the stairs. 42 00:01:57,347 --> 00:01:58,780 How was work today, darling? 43 00:01:58,781 --> 00:02:01,827 Oh, it was the cat's pajamas. 44 00:02:01,911 --> 00:02:04,392 Here you go, love. 45 00:02:04,476 --> 00:02:06,304 Janelle, water, please. 46 00:02:06,389 --> 00:02:07,912 Get this. 47 00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:10,528 I switched the water fountain signs today at work. 48 00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:13,088 Now white folks are drinking colored water. 49 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,648 Can they tell the difference? 50 00:02:14,649 --> 00:02:15,866 - They will when they can't vote. 51 00:02:15,867 --> 00:02:17,347 [laughter] 52 00:02:17,432 --> 00:02:19,477 Oh, Dad, you crack me up. 53 00:02:19,562 --> 00:02:21,477 [laughter] 54 00:02:21,562 --> 00:02:24,043 Did someone say crack? 55 00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:26,825 [together] Auntie Denise! 56 00:02:26,909 --> 00:02:29,216 - Oh, Pat, I've got a proposition for you. 57 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,951 - I hope it's not another one of your harebrained schemes. 58 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:35,129 - No, there'll be no wacky hijinks going on today, 59 00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:37,433 I promise. [laughs] 60 00:02:37,517 --> 00:02:39,649 So I've inherited a monkey. 61 00:02:39,734 --> 00:02:41,432 A monkey? 62 00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:43,736 This sound like a hijinks. [gasps] 63 00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:46,171 I think I'll call him Bubbles! 64 00:02:46,256 --> 00:02:48,823 I have such a perfect family. 65 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:53,216 - Everybody, meet my new girlfriend. 66 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,517 Hi, Mom. 67 00:02:54,603 --> 00:02:55,653 [all gasp] 68 00:02:55,732 --> 00:02:57,038 What the fudge? 69 00:02:57,124 --> 00:02:58,908 Why am I saying fudge? 70 00:02:58,909 --> 00:03:01,514 - There's no swearing in a black-and-white, Mom! 71 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,951 Brandon, shut the fudge up! 72 00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:04,255 Uh, fix it, Jesus. 73 00:03:04,341 --> 00:03:06,647 - Somebody get me the God dang it remote! 74 00:03:06,731 --> 00:03:08,037 Here. 75 00:03:10,949 --> 00:03:12,342 You dumb motherfucker! 76 00:03:14,775 --> 00:03:17,343 ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪ 77 00:03:17,427 --> 00:03:19,516 ♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪ 78 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,777 Get the fuck off me! 79 00:03:22,778 --> 00:03:24,773 How many times I done told you how hard it is 80 00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,471 to be a teen parent out here, 81 00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:29,086 and you go out here and hit this clear coochie raw? 82 00:03:31,425 --> 00:03:32,948 Ma, it wasn't like that. 83 00:03:32,949 --> 00:03:34,467 - You going to tell her, or should I? 84 00:03:34,468 --> 00:03:35,774 Tell me what? 85 00:03:35,775 --> 00:03:37,337 - I mean, they did still have raw sex. 86 00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:39,209 Mm, about that. 87 00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:41,684 - Junebug, what happened to the FitRite condoms? 88 00:03:41,685 --> 00:03:43,336 You were supposed to fuck with the FitRites. 89 00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:45,295 - Well, they didn't fit right, OK? 90 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:47,861 And, Ma, I'm not the biological father. 91 00:03:47,945 --> 00:03:49,294 Oh, you better praise God, 92 00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:52,035 'cause I'd have chopped your dick off. 93 00:03:52,119 --> 00:03:54,349 Look, Barbie, I understand you got a belly, 94 00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:55,990 but you got to get up out of here. 95 00:03:56,076 --> 00:03:58,382 - She can't go. - Why not? 96 00:03:58,466 --> 00:03:59,772 She got kicked out. 97 00:03:59,857 --> 00:04:03,992 - She ever heard of a nigga called shelter? 98 00:04:04,075 --> 00:04:07,426 - My dad thinks my situation cost him the election. 99 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:09,160 He said I shamed the family, and he doesn't want me 100 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:11,946 - around anymore. - Wow. 101 00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:14,293 - That's horrible. - Tragic. 102 00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:16,641 - What the fuck that got to do with us? 103 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:18,249 She's my girlfriend. 104 00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:19,988 Junebug, you are a kid. 105 00:04:19,989 --> 00:04:22,028 - You are not old enough to be nobody's daddy. 106 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,117 At all. 107 00:04:23,203 --> 00:04:25,031 - You were when you were my age. 108 00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:28,250 - Well, now, he got you there, Pat-Pat. 109 00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:29,810 - I'm a mom because I didn't have any money 110 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,076 - to abort Ashley. - Well, damn. 111 00:04:33,159 --> 00:04:34,551 You know what I mean. 112 00:04:34,552 --> 00:04:36,375 I love you, but I could have done without you. 113 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,770 - But I love you. - Excuse me. 114 00:04:38,771 --> 00:04:40,940 But you really love me, though, right, Mama? 115 00:04:40,941 --> 00:04:42,983 I mean, I bet you're glad you kept me, huh? 116 00:04:42,984 --> 00:04:44,942 The clinic was closed. 117 00:04:47,071 --> 00:04:49,073 Look, Alison, I understand you 118 00:04:49,074 --> 00:04:50,721 and your daddy's having problems, 119 00:04:50,722 --> 00:04:52,504 but you got to find another friend house to go to. 120 00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:55,421 - Junebug's my only friend. He's the love of my life. 121 00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:58,377 - Well, what about the nigga that fucked you? 122 00:04:58,461 --> 00:05:00,507 - Mom! - Terry! 123 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,114 - Yeah? - Get down here. 124 00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:03,938 You ain't gonna believe this shit. 125 00:05:03,939 --> 00:05:05,416 - Dad already knows about Alison. 126 00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:07,242 - What do you mean, you already damn know? 127 00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:09,071 - All right, all right. Listen. 128 00:05:09,072 --> 00:05:11,242 - What you mean, listen? I'm Dumbo up in this bitch. 129 00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:12,632 - Baby, you was out on tour when all this stuff went down. 130 00:05:12,633 --> 00:05:14,110 There was enough on your plate already, baby. 131 00:05:14,111 --> 00:05:15,681 - Don't tell me how much to eat! 132 00:05:15,764 --> 00:05:17,157 And we squashed it already. 133 00:05:17,242 --> 00:05:19,026 We didn't want you to overreact. 134 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,588 - [screaming] I'm not overreacting! 135 00:05:20,589 --> 00:05:22,591 We supposed to be a team. 136 00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:24,849 But my teammate don't tell me my son out here 137 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:26,983 rawdogging Cinderella? 138 00:05:28,171 --> 00:05:31,761 - Yeah, Dad, why don't you tell her? 139 00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:33,938 - Please do not call my brother-in-law 140 00:05:34,023 --> 00:05:35,372 no damn daddy. 141 00:05:35,457 --> 00:05:37,938 What she want, every Black man in the house? 142 00:05:38,022 --> 00:05:40,416 - Hey, listen, baby. I had it under control. 143 00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:42,111 Really? Then can you tell me 144 00:05:42,196 --> 00:05:45,199 why this pregnant ho is at my house? 145 00:05:45,282 --> 00:05:46,936 Her name is Alison. 146 00:05:46,937 --> 00:05:48,803 - Her name is pregnant ho! - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 147 00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:49,716 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Pat, Pat. 148 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,110 Come on, baby. 149 00:05:51,195 --> 00:05:54,459 Take a second and breathe, huh? 150 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:55,761 You're right. 151 00:05:55,847 --> 00:05:58,806 I need to calm down. 152 00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,066 Listen, pregnant ho. 153 00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:07,154 I know you're pregnant, and I know you a ho. 154 00:06:07,238 --> 00:06:09,936 I know you're scared, and I've been there myself, 155 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,630 but what you're not gonna do, 156 00:06:11,631 --> 00:06:13,540 you're not gonna rope-a-dope my son 157 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,021 into no fucked-up future. 158 00:06:15,106 --> 00:06:16,542 I have nowhere else to go. 159 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,107 Aren't you a Republican? 160 00:06:18,108 --> 00:06:19,887 You have our thoughts and prayers. 161 00:06:19,888 --> 00:06:22,058 - All right, look. She's not going anywhere. 162 00:06:22,062 --> 00:06:24,020 - Oh, watch! - What? 163 00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:25,322 Get your hands off my girl! 164 00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:26,625 - Hey, watch how you talk to your mama! 165 00:06:26,626 --> 00:06:27,843 - What the hell did you just say? 166 00:06:27,844 --> 00:06:29,364 - I said, get your hands off my girl. 167 00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:30,148 - Hey, come on, boy! - Take cover! Take cover! 168 00:06:30,149 --> 00:06:32,586 Take cover! 169 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:36,454 Alison is my girlfriend. 170 00:06:36,455 --> 00:06:38,668 And if y'all have any respect for me at all, 171 00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:41,454 then you need to respect that. 172 00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:44,411 - I will never respect a boy who I pay his cell phone bill 173 00:06:44,495 --> 00:06:45,887 and pay for his damn lunch. 174 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,670 I would never respect a clown 175 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:50,285 who can't even pay for the drawers on his funky ass. 176 00:06:52,711 --> 00:06:55,453 One day you might be a man, but today is not that day. 177 00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:58,362 And let me tell you something. 178 00:06:58,363 --> 00:07:00,365 That is not your fucking girlfriend, 179 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:02,322 and that is not your baby. 180 00:07:02,406 --> 00:07:04,060 Am I understood? 181 00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:07,930 Am I understood? 182 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,060 - Yes. - Yes, what? 183 00:07:12,883 --> 00:07:15,103 Yes, ma'am. 184 00:07:16,579 --> 00:07:19,321 - I'm sorry, Alison. You need to go now. 185 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:20,667 I don't know where. 186 00:07:20,752 --> 00:07:22,797 Follow the yellow brick road. 187 00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:27,494 - Uh, Alison, God came to me, and he told me he was 188 00:07:27,578 --> 00:07:28,898 gonna see you through, OK? 189 00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:31,145 So go on, now. Bye-bye. 190 00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:37,100 Well, shit! 191 00:07:37,185 --> 00:07:40,014 Now you're saying the bitch got to stay? 192 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:45,579 Ouch! 193 00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:48,097 - Ouch is exactly what your fucking future is saying. 194 00:07:48,098 --> 00:07:49,882 This isn't your business. 195 00:07:49,968 --> 00:07:52,013 And that ain't your baby. 196 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,477 - Not technically, no, but- 197 00:07:53,478 --> 00:07:55,096 - I know what you're thinking, Junebug. 198 00:07:55,097 --> 00:07:56,748 Because you're thinking the same shit 199 00:07:56,749 --> 00:07:58,661 I was thinking at your age- that this baby is gonna be 200 00:07:58,662 --> 00:08:00,182 like a teddy bear, a cute little accessory 201 00:08:00,183 --> 00:08:03,186 for your life. No, Junebug. 202 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,403 The baby is your life from the jump. 203 00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:09,057 - Trust me. - But you don't have a baby. 204 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:11,446 - Boy, why is you so dead set on being 205 00:08:11,530 --> 00:08:12,836 somebody's damn daddy? 206 00:08:12,921 --> 00:08:15,445 It's not about that. 207 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:18,577 I- look, I've seen the love my parents were able to create 208 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,488 in this type of situation, 209 00:08:20,489 --> 00:08:22,659 and I feel like me and Alison could do the same thing, 210 00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:25,489 and I'm a man. 211 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:28,141 - What makes you think you a man, Junebug? 212 00:08:28,225 --> 00:08:31,837 You don't see this mustache? 213 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:36,879 - I see an upper lip with sunburn. 214 00:08:37,615 --> 00:08:41,054 - A man is a boy who can make choices and stand by them. 215 00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:44,749 And right now, I choose Alison. 216 00:08:45,832 --> 00:08:47,442 And I'm in love. 217 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,834 In love? 218 00:08:49,918 --> 00:08:51,311 Boy, you don't know love. 219 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:54,922 [chuckles] I was in love with Twan. 220 00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:57,355 We used to steal together. 221 00:08:57,439 --> 00:09:01,878 And then he stole my heart and my TV. 222 00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:03,658 Then I was in love with Vince, 223 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,673 and I don't really talk about him much 224 00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:07,785 because of the gag order, and not the good kind of gag. 225 00:09:07,786 --> 00:09:09,963 [laughs] 226 00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:18,140 Um, but that was real love, and it still wasn't right. 227 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:21,223 Junebug, you ain't in no real love, 228 00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:23,483 and you damn sure ain't in no right love. 229 00:09:23,484 --> 00:09:25,262 - I don't need y'all to tell me what to do. 230 00:09:25,263 --> 00:09:27,831 This feels right to me. 231 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:30,744 And none of y'all are gonna talk me out of it. 232 00:09:30,828 --> 00:09:33,048 Now, if you'll excuse me, 233 00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:35,873 I need to go check on my better half. 234 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:39,439 Sit your ass down. 235 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,608 Now, this is gonna be a hell of a lot harder 236 00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:43,046 than you think. 237 00:09:43,131 --> 00:09:46,003 I had a front row seat to all the things 238 00:09:46,004 --> 00:09:47,173 that your mama went through, 239 00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:49,394 and it scared me off babies for life. 240 00:09:51,086 --> 00:09:52,783 - Hmm. That's weird. 241 00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:55,610 What's weird? 242 00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:57,522 - Well, Mama always says the reason 243 00:09:57,607 --> 00:10:00,257 you don't have any baby is 'cause you can't keep a man. 244 00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:03,653 I can keep a man, Junebug. 245 00:10:03,738 --> 00:10:06,393 - Mm. - I can. 246 00:10:06,477 --> 00:10:09,480 The real question is, can a man keep me, OK? 247 00:10:09,563 --> 00:10:11,086 That's the real question. 248 00:10:11,172 --> 00:10:13,222 And the answer is, fuck you, little boy! 249 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:18,257 - So what is your life plans? You got any goals? 250 00:10:18,258 --> 00:10:20,043 Of course, I have goals. 251 00:10:20,044 --> 00:10:21,648 I want to have so many babies with Junebug 252 00:10:21,649 --> 00:10:24,304 that it won't matter who put number one in me. 253 00:10:24,388 --> 00:10:26,216 - Now, you know for 80 cents a day, 254 00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:27,300 you could support all the Black babies 255 00:10:27,301 --> 00:10:28,693 you want, right? 256 00:10:30,691 --> 00:10:31,954 Black babies went up? 257 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,390 - Yeah, girl. Inflation. 258 00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:36,737 - Alison, I have seen how all the boys drool 259 00:10:36,822 --> 00:10:38,302 all over you at school. 260 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:42,086 I mean, good-looking boys. Smart boys. 261 00:10:42,169 --> 00:10:44,432 So please just help me understand, why- 262 00:10:44,516 --> 00:10:46,344 [gags] 263 00:10:46,429 --> 00:10:48,692 I'm sorry. 264 00:10:48,777 --> 00:10:51,432 - Why Junebug? - He's my Juney. 265 00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:54,519 I know he's always gonna be there to take care of me. 266 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,037 - You didn't take care of him when you lied 267 00:10:56,038 --> 00:10:57,037 about that being his baby. 268 00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:58,691 That was my dad, not me. 269 00:10:58,776 --> 00:11:02,171 - You went along with it. - I just love him so much. 270 00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:04,691 I wanted him in my life. In our life. 271 00:11:04,775 --> 00:11:05,863 Whatever it took. 272 00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:07,038 both: Bitch, please! 273 00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:11,296 - You really want to fall for a teenager 274 00:11:11,297 --> 00:11:13,864 dumb enough to get dad-fished? 275 00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:18,127 - Well, Juney and I feel that, spiritually, it is our baby. 276 00:11:18,128 --> 00:11:19,599 - Well, spiritually, you can think 277 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,251 whatever you want, but sperm-ily, 278 00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:24,125 that is not your family. 279 00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:26,685 - I don't think you all get a say in what he chooses to do. 280 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,776 Junebug is old enough to make his own decisions. 281 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:32,646 - You don't care that you could be ruining his life? 282 00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:34,688 No. I'm saving it. 283 00:11:34,772 --> 00:11:36,209 Excuse me? 284 00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:38,207 - I'm saving him from having to be in a family 285 00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:40,120 where he is constantly disrespected 286 00:11:40,121 --> 00:11:42,645 and walked over and undervalued. 287 00:11:42,729 --> 00:11:45,210 Now he will at least have two people 288 00:11:45,211 --> 00:11:47,119 who actually believe he's capable of being 289 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,078 whatever it is he wants to be. 290 00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:51,949 - What the fuck that supposed to mean? 291 00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:53,553 You and that little motherfucker 292 00:11:53,554 --> 00:11:55,248 in your stomach don't know nothing about my son, OK? 293 00:11:55,249 --> 00:11:56,856 We're not looking for no caseworker. 294 00:11:56,857 --> 00:12:00,383 And, boo-boo, this ain't "Losing Isaiah." 295 00:12:00,384 --> 00:12:01,900 - And how dare you say we don't believe in him? 296 00:12:01,901 --> 00:12:03,468 I'm not saying you don't. 297 00:12:03,553 --> 00:12:06,164 [together] That's literally what you just said. 298 00:12:06,248 --> 00:12:08,772 - Terry! - Yeah. 299 00:12:08,773 --> 00:12:09,943 What's going on, baby? 300 00:12:09,944 --> 00:12:11,144 I need you to get in here, 301 00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:12,638 go out there and clean a path, 302 00:12:12,639 --> 00:12:13,943 and get her the hell up out my house. 303 00:12:13,944 --> 00:12:15,681 - You can't just put her out on the street. 304 00:12:15,682 --> 00:12:17,380 I'm not. 305 00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:19,575 I'ma put her in the yard like Monday trash. 306 00:12:20,768 --> 00:12:22,248 She's staying here. 307 00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:25,468 - You don't run nothing around here, boy. 308 00:12:25,469 --> 00:12:27,332 - Well, if you guys are kicking her out, 309 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:29,596 then you're kicking all three of us out. 310 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,378 Come on, Bug. 311 00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:34,336 - Three-for-one coupon. Bye. 312 00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:36,900 - I am old enough to make my own decisions. 313 00:12:36,985 --> 00:12:38,944 - I am a man. - Oh, you a man? 314 00:12:38,945 --> 00:12:40,505 - That's right. - Then take my clothes off. 315 00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:42,160 What? 316 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,288 - Like I said earlier, you ain't paid 317 00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:44,809 for none of that shit on your back. 318 00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,204 Now, run me my shit. 319 00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:49,942 Uh, Juney? 320 00:12:50,027 --> 00:12:52,197 - Pat, the last thing this situation needs 321 00:12:52,201 --> 00:12:54,768 is a naked boy in the kitchen. 322 00:12:54,852 --> 00:12:56,724 Start stripping. 323 00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,158 What? 324 00:12:58,243 --> 00:13:00,376 [chuckles] Yeah right, Ma. 325 00:13:00,461 --> 00:13:02,593 - You crazy. - I'm glad you know I'm crazy. 326 00:13:02,594 --> 00:13:04,155 Now, go ahead and get my Jordans off your feet, 327 00:13:04,156 --> 00:13:06,028 'cause I can get some money for them. 328 00:13:10,851 --> 00:13:13,550 And give my shirt, too. 329 00:13:13,634 --> 00:13:15,636 Give me my shirt before I take it off you. 330 00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:22,288 - Damn, I need to be going to the gym with Junebug. 331 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,892 Give me my pants. 332 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:29,287 Ma! 333 00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:30,544 - Don't make me take my pants off 334 00:13:30,545 --> 00:13:32,355 in front of your little girlfriend. 335 00:13:41,631 --> 00:13:42,849 There. 336 00:13:42,936 --> 00:13:45,242 - You happy? - No. Give me them drawers. 337 00:13:45,243 --> 00:13:46,369 - No, no, don't do that, Junebug. 338 00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:49,721 - No, no, no, no, no. - No, no. 339 00:13:49,804 --> 00:13:51,937 - No. - No. 340 00:13:51,938 --> 00:13:52,890 - Help! - Oh! 341 00:13:52,891 --> 00:13:53,934 Oh, damn. 342 00:13:53,935 --> 00:13:56,372 Did she piss herself? 343 00:13:56,456 --> 00:13:58,849 - Think your fake-ass nephew is on the way. 344 00:13:58,850 --> 00:14:00,150 Well, somebody do something. 345 00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:02,414 - Everybody calm down! I'm on it. 346 00:14:02,498 --> 00:14:04,544 I'll go get the Swiffer. 347 00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:09,937 And y'all thought I wasn't gonna be a good father. 348 00:14:11,889 --> 00:14:13,978 Yes, hello, 911? 349 00:14:14,063 --> 00:14:16,805 Oh, shoot. OK. 350 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,630 No, hello yourself. 351 00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:21,674 No, it's just that you have a really deep voice, is all. 352 00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:23,846 [chuckles] What's your name, daddy? 353 00:14:23,932 --> 00:14:26,804 Gimme the damn phone. 354 00:14:26,888 --> 00:14:28,368 Listen up. 355 00:14:28,453 --> 00:14:31,108 We got the mayor's daughter over here. 356 00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:33,411 No, she ain't no damn hostage. 357 00:14:36,278 --> 00:14:39,194 How much can we get, though? 358 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,628 Damn, he do got a sexy-ass voice. 359 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:45,282 - Uh, Larry, baby, how soon do you think you can 360 00:14:45,365 --> 00:14:47,845 get an ambulance over here? 361 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,322 What is he saying? 362 00:14:49,407 --> 00:14:50,974 Ooh, 'cause we need it now. 363 00:14:51,059 --> 00:14:54,193 - Why are you rubbing on your mildew-ass Milk Duds? 364 00:14:55,798 --> 00:14:57,756 What is he saying? 365 00:14:57,757 --> 00:14:59,797 - Come over here and let me talk to you real quick. 366 00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:02,670 OK, we got a real shit-uation on our hands. 367 00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,927 Larry just said that because of the blizzard, 368 00:15:04,928 --> 00:15:07,362 they not gonna be able to get an ambulance here in time. 369 00:15:07,363 --> 00:15:09,113 - [screaming] Are you kidding me? 370 00:15:10,797 --> 00:15:13,017 - The fuck are you carrying, a demon? 371 00:15:13,018 --> 00:15:16,056 - Well, if they can't get here in time, 372 00:15:16,057 --> 00:15:17,013 then what are we gonna do? 373 00:15:17,014 --> 00:15:18,798 Uh, you know, it's all good. 374 00:15:18,799 --> 00:15:20,926 Like Stevie said, don't you worry about a thing. 375 00:15:20,927 --> 00:15:22,972 Stevie Nicks said that? 376 00:15:22,973 --> 00:15:23,838 Uh, Pat, help me out. 377 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,929 I'm trying. I'm trying. 378 00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,316 - Uh, Auntie, uh, can your new boyfriend walk us 379 00:15:28,317 --> 00:15:29,753 through it over the phone? 380 00:15:29,838 --> 00:15:31,536 Oh, good idea, Junebug. 381 00:15:31,621 --> 00:15:34,624 And please go upstairs and put some clothes on. 382 00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:37,058 - Hey, don't you put on nothing I bought you. 383 00:15:37,142 --> 00:15:40,537 - Larry, uh, would you be able to walk us 384 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:42,100 through this delivery? 385 00:15:42,186 --> 00:15:44,014 [laughs] No, I know you got it 386 00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:45,708 under control. [giggles] 387 00:15:45,709 --> 00:15:48,053 You be having every little thing under control. 388 00:15:48,054 --> 00:15:50,709 - [screams] - Denise! 389 00:15:50,710 --> 00:15:53,227 - Uh- uh, Larry said, how far apart are the contractions? 390 00:15:53,228 --> 00:15:55,361 [screams] 391 00:15:55,445 --> 00:15:57,229 R. Kelly and Puff Daddy. 392 00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:08,361 - They don't sound too far apart to me, Larry. 393 00:16:08,444 --> 00:16:10,533 Uh, he said you gotta lay down, baby. 394 00:16:10,618 --> 00:16:12,141 Oh, hell no. 395 00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,138 I'm not letting no white girl put her 396 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,967 twat pocket on my damn couch. 397 00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:16,268 - Well, it's no different than them porns 398 00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:17,879 that Terry be watching. 399 00:16:17,965 --> 00:16:19,488 Kids, get in here! 400 00:16:21,138 --> 00:16:22,792 Uh, OK. 401 00:16:22,877 --> 00:16:25,358 Uh, Janelle, I need you to go to the laundry room, 402 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,615 get the blue tarp, and then come back 403 00:16:26,616 --> 00:16:28,052 - and lay it on the sofa. - OK. 404 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,789 - Ashley, I need you to get some ice for her 405 00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,310 to chew, make a pot of hot cocoa, 406 00:16:31,311 --> 00:16:32,875 and then whip up a plate with a big sandwich 407 00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:34,182 and some barbecue chips. 408 00:16:34,268 --> 00:16:35,486 OK. 409 00:16:35,487 --> 00:16:36,614 Uh, Alison, what type of sandwich? 410 00:16:36,615 --> 00:16:38,225 Uh, the sandwich is for me, 411 00:16:38,226 --> 00:16:40,048 and I would like a turkey club, and then double-deck it 412 00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:41,572 if we got enough bread. 413 00:16:41,573 --> 00:16:43,266 Now, come on, Ashley, 'cause you're wasting time. 414 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:44,616 OK, what can I do? 415 00:16:44,617 --> 00:16:46,135 - You can start shoveling the driveway 416 00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,266 so the ambulance will have somewhere to park. 417 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,526 - It's like negative 30 out there. 418 00:16:48,527 --> 00:16:49,613 I could key a whole car with my nipples. 419 00:16:49,614 --> 00:16:51,094 Boy, get your ass out there. 420 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:52,656 - It's colder in here. - Hey, hey, hey. 421 00:16:52,657 --> 00:16:53,482 I'm gonna help you out, Brandon. 422 00:16:53,483 --> 00:16:55,877 Hey. 423 00:17:02,308 --> 00:17:04,528 What in the devil you got on, man? 424 00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:05,962 Wait, wait. 425 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:07,351 You look like a Powerpuff nigga. 426 00:17:07,352 --> 00:17:09,049 [laughs] 427 00:17:09,134 --> 00:17:11,136 I'm wearing our clothes. 428 00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:12,698 - I'm gonna go shovel some snow. 429 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,350 Last time I was in the room for a birth, I- 430 00:17:14,351 --> 00:17:17,528 - You passed out. - Passed out? 431 00:17:17,612 --> 00:17:19,831 Oh, what- what kind of father are you, man? 432 00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:22,266 - I could never. - You don't understand. 433 00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:24,880 I've been to war, and that's still the worst thing 434 00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:27,135 I've ever seen. 435 00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:29,221 Put it back in. Put it back in. 436 00:17:29,306 --> 00:17:30,742 Don't worry, Bug. 437 00:17:30,827 --> 00:17:34,092 Your daddy suffer from pussy-TSD. 438 00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:36,612 - Do you know how hard it is to push a bowling ball 439 00:17:36,697 --> 00:17:37,959 out through a keyhole? 440 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,000 - Oh, now, Pat, you know you ain't never 441 00:17:40,001 --> 00:17:41,306 been that tight. 442 00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:44,221 [crying] 443 00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:48,180 Hold on, Larry. 444 00:17:48,261 --> 00:17:50,002 Hold on, hold on. 445 00:17:50,087 --> 00:17:53,742 Why are you crying, outside of the obvious? 446 00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:57,612 - I didn't mean to cause this much drama in your family. 447 00:17:57,695 --> 00:18:00,350 - Really, I didn't. - Please. 448 00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:02,964 Pushing out a baby is diet drama in this household. 449 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,652 - Is that right? - Yeah. 450 00:18:04,653 --> 00:18:06,085 It seems like every week some new shit 451 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,565 is going on around here. 452 00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:11,306 I really think we should have a TV show. 453 00:18:11,389 --> 00:18:13,391 - I just feel like Mrs. Carson is never 454 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,822 gonna be OK with Juney and me. 455 00:18:14,823 --> 00:18:16,173 You right. 456 00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,738 - Maybe everything would just be easier 457 00:18:21,822 --> 00:18:24,216 if I gave the baby up for adoption. 458 00:18:24,301 --> 00:18:27,522 - No. - It makes the most sense. 459 00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:29,346 Oh, now listen to me. 460 00:18:29,431 --> 00:18:31,389 You do not want to do that. 461 00:18:31,474 --> 00:18:34,390 You will regret that decision for the rest of your life. 462 00:18:34,474 --> 00:18:35,867 How do you know? 463 00:18:35,952 --> 00:18:38,737 Well, just trust me, OK? 464 00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:40,649 - Trust me. - OK. 465 00:18:40,734 --> 00:18:43,041 - All right. Now, come on, spread 'em. 466 00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:44,779 - I- I don't know. 467 00:18:44,864 --> 00:18:46,910 Well, don't be shy now. 468 00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:49,301 It ain't nothing I ain't never seen before. 469 00:18:49,385 --> 00:18:54,651 I had a, um, lesbian phase back in '98. 470 00:18:54,652 --> 00:18:56,731 Yeah, the taste thing really didn't work for me, 471 00:18:56,732 --> 00:18:58,818 because when I would go down, like, it was just like- 472 00:18:58,819 --> 00:19:01,039 OK, Denise. 473 00:19:01,124 --> 00:19:04,301 I don't really care if you see my haystack. 474 00:19:04,302 --> 00:19:06,905 I was just hoping maybe you'd put some gloves on first. 475 00:19:06,906 --> 00:19:09,647 - Of course. Good call. 476 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,687 Janelle, go to the kitchen and get me some of them 477 00:19:11,688 --> 00:19:13,081 yellow dishwashing gloves. 478 00:19:13,082 --> 00:19:14,774 - They haven't been used, have they? 479 00:19:14,775 --> 00:19:16,995 - Now, beggars can't be choosers. 480 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:19,864 You really don't like rubbers, do you? 481 00:19:19,948 --> 00:19:22,777 Janelle, uh, hit them shits with some Palmolive 482 00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:24,599 and make sure they're good and disinfected. 483 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,558 - Do you even know what you're doing? 484 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,863 That's a fair question. 485 00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:30,383 And the answer is? 486 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,254 No, I don't. 487 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:35,559 But I have delivered pizzas. 488 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,732 And I always deliver sexually. 489 00:19:38,816 --> 00:19:41,428 - Between me, Denise, and her new boyfriend, 490 00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:43,775 we're gonna deliver you safely, baby. 491 00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:45,469 This is not my first rodeo. 492 00:19:45,554 --> 00:19:46,754 What y'all need me to do? 493 00:19:46,772 --> 00:19:49,644 - Mrs. Carson? - Yes? 494 00:19:49,728 --> 00:19:51,418 - Would you hold my hand, please? 495 00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:56,121 Um... 496 00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:59,599 [sniffles] 497 00:19:59,684 --> 00:20:00,734 I got you. 498 00:20:02,988 --> 00:20:04,598 [breathing rapidly] 499 00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:10,728 How's it going out there? 500 00:20:10,813 --> 00:20:13,164 - [stammering] Pretty good. 501 00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:14,298 I'm going back out. 502 00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:16,250 I just need to... [stammering] 503 00:20:16,335 --> 00:20:18,772 - Warm up. We got it. 504 00:20:18,773 --> 00:20:21,899 You know you got a booger-cicle hanging from your nose, right? 505 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,640 - I got it. - My hands are frozen. 506 00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:26,554 Ow! 507 00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:28,030 Thanks. 508 00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:33,510 - Let me have one of them wet washcloths. 509 00:20:33,594 --> 00:20:35,422 Just breathe, baby. 510 00:20:35,423 --> 00:20:37,548 - Uh, don't you guys wash your butts with those? 511 00:20:37,549 --> 00:20:38,681 Yep. 512 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,073 Get used to smelling shit. 513 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:43,374 - Yo, y'all got some hot chocolate 514 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,768 or something up in here? 515 00:20:44,854 --> 00:20:46,900 And some glue to reattach my toes. 516 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,034 Man, you got gout. 517 00:20:48,071 --> 00:20:49,899 Your toes been dead. 518 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:52,070 - And you know, Brandon started crying at one point, 519 00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:55,074 but his tears froze up too fast- oh, Lord! 520 00:20:55,157 --> 00:21:00,075 ♪ Jesus, Jesus never fails ♪ 521 00:21:00,076 --> 00:21:02,546 - Look, I know it hurt, but I had Ashley and Brandon 522 00:21:02,547 --> 00:21:04,941 when I was younger than you. I was scared as hell. 523 00:21:05,026 --> 00:21:07,333 I didn't have no parents. I didn't have shit. 524 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,981 But look at that beautiful Black woman right there. 525 00:21:08,982 --> 00:21:11,071 She's smart, she's special, 526 00:21:11,156 --> 00:21:14,724 and she's strong, and she use dildos. 527 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,853 - And they don't get you pregnant. 528 00:21:16,938 --> 00:21:19,810 Don't let her convert you. 529 00:21:19,894 --> 00:21:21,939 Hell, I did something right. 530 00:21:22,024 --> 00:21:23,591 Thanks, Mrs. Carson. 531 00:21:23,592 --> 00:21:24,805 Let's get this thing out of me. 532 00:21:24,806 --> 00:21:27,070 - Ooh, yeah! That's it. OK. 533 00:21:27,154 --> 00:21:28,964 Now grab Pat's hand and grind it out. 534 00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:32,070 - [grunting] - Oh, you got it, well done. 535 00:21:32,154 --> 00:21:33,285 Well, that's it. 536 00:21:33,286 --> 00:21:35,153 Larry, I'm seeing the top of the head. 537 00:21:35,154 --> 00:21:36,677 - You are? Oh, really? 538 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:40,505 - Oh! Oh, God. - Come on, honey. Come on. 539 00:21:40,506 --> 00:21:42,326 What kind of father are you, Juney? 540 00:21:42,327 --> 00:21:45,504 - Junebug! - [grunts] 541 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:46,891 - Oh, he all right. He just sleeping. 542 00:21:46,892 --> 00:21:48,589 Mom! 543 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:50,586 - It fucks men up when they realize the tussy cat 544 00:21:50,587 --> 00:21:52,415 is gonna look like a crime scene. 545 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:53,936 [groans] 546 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:57,633 - Yeah, this shit looking real "First 48"-ish. 547 00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,196 Oh, God! 548 00:21:59,197 --> 00:22:00,237 - Oh, baby, you ain't gonna have 549 00:22:00,238 --> 00:22:01,761 no little rosebud no more. 550 00:22:01,762 --> 00:22:03,280 You're gonna be able to kick a field goal 551 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:06,284 - through that thing. - [laughs, screams] 552 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,717 Whoa! 553 00:22:07,718 --> 00:22:08,932 Yes, yes, that was the push that 554 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:10,500 made the difference, Alison. 555 00:22:10,501 --> 00:22:12,453 Keep breathing just like that. We're halfway there. 556 00:22:12,454 --> 00:22:14,021 Make her laugh again, Pat. 557 00:22:14,022 --> 00:22:15,323 - I guess I could tell you when I had my fourth child, 558 00:22:15,324 --> 00:22:16,713 I'm walking through the grocery store, 559 00:22:16,714 --> 00:22:18,542 and my vagina just hit the floor. 560 00:22:18,627 --> 00:22:20,137 - [laughs, yells] - Yeah, Mom. 561 00:22:20,138 --> 00:22:21,149 Yeah, Mom. Make her laugh again. 562 00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:22,281 - Go on. - No way! 563 00:22:22,282 --> 00:22:23,844 - That didn't happen. - Uh-huh. 564 00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:25,409 My pussy hit the floor, said splat-a-tat-tat-tat. 565 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,625 Right there in the deli aisle, and the butcher 566 00:22:27,626 --> 00:22:29,628 picked it up and weighed it. 567 00:22:29,713 --> 00:22:31,846 - It's coming, Ma. How much did it weigh? 568 00:22:31,931 --> 00:22:34,934 2.3 pounds of spicy pussy! 569 00:22:35,017 --> 00:22:37,019 [screams] 570 00:22:37,104 --> 00:22:42,066 [all screaming] 571 00:22:43,277 --> 00:22:44,496 [baby crying] 572 00:22:44,582 --> 00:22:47,498 - Oh, my goodness. - We got us a baby. 573 00:22:47,582 --> 00:22:51,673 Oh, my goodness. Oh. 574 00:22:51,755 --> 00:22:56,020 [together] Ohh. Ohh. 575 00:22:56,102 --> 00:23:00,411 - Oh, look at that little beautiful angel. 576 00:23:00,494 --> 00:23:02,539 - Wow, that erases all the doubt. 577 00:23:02,623 --> 00:23:05,017 This baby is too cute to be Junebug's. 578 00:23:07,145 --> 00:23:09,321 Oh, who gonna cut the cord? 579 00:23:09,406 --> 00:23:11,016 Can I? 580 00:23:11,101 --> 00:23:12,611 - I don't care. It ain't my baby. 581 00:23:13,884 --> 00:23:16,582 Well, actually, can I do it? 582 00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:19,103 - Yeah. - Here. 583 00:23:23,405 --> 00:23:25,842 - Oh. - Whew. 584 00:23:27,708 --> 00:23:29,275 What'd I miss? 585 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,449 - The birth of your child, deadbeat. 586 00:23:32,707 --> 00:23:36,363 Oh, God. 587 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:38,968 - [stammering] Ambulance. 588 00:23:38,969 --> 00:23:41,232 - What? - The ambulance! 589 00:23:41,233 --> 00:23:43,054 - Why the hell you didn't tell me the ambulance here? 590 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:44,447 Oh, thank you, baby Jesus. 591 00:23:44,533 --> 00:23:46,274 Come on in. 592 00:23:46,275 --> 00:23:48,184 - Excuse me, can I ask you a question? 593 00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:50,840 You wouldn't happen to be a very sexy-voiced man 594 00:23:50,924 --> 00:23:52,665 named Larry, would you? 595 00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:55,753 - [in squeaky voice] No, ma'am. 596 00:23:55,836 --> 00:23:58,273 My name is Darius. 597 00:23:58,274 --> 00:23:59,748 My friends call me Darius the Hilarious, 598 00:23:59,749 --> 00:24:01,620 because I got mad jokes. 599 00:24:01,705 --> 00:24:05,100 [chuckles, snorts] 600 00:24:05,183 --> 00:24:07,098 - What's your name? - My name? 601 00:24:07,183 --> 00:24:08,532 Yeah. 602 00:24:08,617 --> 00:24:10,141 Is do your damn job. 603 00:24:10,142 --> 00:24:13,094 - Janelle, after this, we putting you 604 00:24:13,095 --> 00:24:15,402 - on birth control. - Birth control? 605 00:24:15,403 --> 00:24:17,442 Girl, after this, I want the pill, the patch, 606 00:24:17,443 --> 00:24:19,054 and the shot, OK? 607 00:24:19,139 --> 00:24:22,789 - Thanks for getting me through that. 608 00:24:22,790 --> 00:24:24,398 - Girl, you think you through this? 609 00:24:24,399 --> 00:24:26,401 Your journey has just begun. 610 00:24:26,486 --> 00:24:27,835 But I will say this. 611 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,314 If I can do it, you can too. 612 00:24:30,399 --> 00:24:32,209 Make sure you take care of that baby. 613 00:24:32,225 --> 00:24:33,400 I will. 614 00:24:33,401 --> 00:24:34,919 - Because I take care of my babies. 615 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,530 What do you mean? 616 00:24:36,531 --> 00:24:37,918 - I mean going forward, I would like for you to stay 617 00:24:37,919 --> 00:24:39,119 the hell away from my son. 618 00:24:40,267 --> 00:24:41,834 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 619 00:24:41,835 --> 00:24:44,352 You are not about to throw out the mother of my child. 620 00:24:44,353 --> 00:24:45,483 - And no, I'm not gonna to throw her out. 621 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,313 That's right, you're not. 622 00:24:48,397 --> 00:24:52,357 - I'm throwing your ungrateful, musty ass out instead. 623 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,790 - That's right, you- 624 00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:57,138 what- what'd you say? 625 00:24:57,222 --> 00:24:58,440 You heard me. 626 00:24:58,441 --> 00:25:00,438 - Uh, Pat, let's talk about this, huh? 627 00:25:00,439 --> 00:25:02,568 - Where am I gonna go? - You'll figure it out. 628 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,005 You said you grown. 629 00:25:04,091 --> 00:25:06,877 - Pat, you sure you want to do all that? 630 00:25:06,961 --> 00:25:09,071 - Yeah, grown people do grown people shit. 631 00:25:09,134 --> 00:25:11,876 - Eh. - You know what? Fine. 632 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,310 I don't need y'all anyway. 633 00:25:14,395 --> 00:25:16,025 I'll just go move in with Ashley. 634 00:25:16,090 --> 00:25:17,265 Oh, nah. 635 00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,526 I'm the only grown man in my house, boo. 636 00:25:19,611 --> 00:25:20,743 Hey, hey, hey. 637 00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:22,265 Now, hold on now, son. 638 00:25:22,350 --> 00:25:24,100 Don't go doing nothing crazy, now. 639 00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:26,135 - No. Let him go. He said he didn't need us. 640 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,265 - Wait up, y'all. I'm coming with you. 641 00:25:28,349 --> 00:25:29,399 Don't come back. 642 00:25:29,436 --> 00:25:30,960 Oh, I won't. 643 00:25:33,958 --> 00:25:36,221 And by the way, Mom, that was real nice 644 00:25:36,222 --> 00:25:38,087 during the delivery how you told Alison 645 00:25:38,088 --> 00:25:40,090 how great Ashley grew up to be. 646 00:25:40,174 --> 00:25:42,611 And you had plenty to do with that, sure. 647 00:25:42,696 --> 00:25:44,394 But so did Dad, OK? 648 00:25:44,479 --> 00:25:46,409 He came into your life when you were in 649 00:25:46,435 --> 00:25:48,742 a bad situation and helped you raise 650 00:25:48,826 --> 00:25:50,959 two kids that weren't even his. 651 00:25:51,044 --> 00:25:54,003 And he's still here, isn't he? 652 00:25:54,004 --> 00:25:55,694 And those kids turned out to be pretty great, 653 00:25:55,695 --> 00:25:58,263 didn't they? 654 00:25:58,347 --> 00:26:01,237 - Get the hell out of my house looking like a gender reveal. 655 00:26:08,824 --> 00:26:10,217 Y'all are some hypocrites. 656 00:26:10,303 --> 00:26:13,132 - Get your hypocrite ass off my porch! 657 00:26:13,215 --> 00:26:16,305 - Ah, that boy done lost his damn mind. 658 00:26:16,306 --> 00:26:17,736 - You know he coming back, right? 659 00:26:17,737 --> 00:26:19,652 I don't give a fuck. 660 00:26:19,736 --> 00:26:21,694 Yes, you do. 661 00:26:21,779 --> 00:26:25,566 - This family, we ain't exactly perfect, now are we? 662 00:26:25,649 --> 00:26:27,651 No, but a bitch can wish. 663 00:26:27,736 --> 00:26:29,607 Oh. 664 00:26:29,691 --> 00:26:31,084 I don't know, Mama. 665 00:26:31,085 --> 00:26:32,603 Do you think Juney's gonna be OK? 666 00:26:32,604 --> 00:26:34,650 - We'll have to tune in next week and see. 667 00:26:34,651 --> 00:26:36,039 Wait, but this is streaming. 668 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:37,255 - Can't we just go to the next episode? 669 00:26:37,256 --> 00:26:39,215 - Oh, yeah. That's right. 670 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:40,990 Hit the next motherfucking epi- 671 00:26:41,775 --> 00:26:44,299 - [gasps] - Shit. 672 00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:46,868 [droning beep] 673 00:26:51,051 --> 00:26:53,183 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 674 00:26:53,270 --> 00:26:55,055 ♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪ 675 00:26:55,142 --> 00:26:57,013 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 676 00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:59,711 ♪ And you can't get enough ♪ 677 00:26:59,798 --> 00:27:01,800 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 678 00:27:01,888 --> 00:27:03,977 ♪ With a husband and kids ♪ 679 00:27:04,064 --> 00:27:07,154 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 680 00:27:07,241 --> 00:27:11,767 ♪ And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪ 681 00:27:11,817 --> 00:27:16,367 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48672

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