All language subtitles for The Gumball Rally (1976)

...and gross sales

at $13 million
in the last fiscal year.

In advertising and promotional
expenditures of 2 million,

$845,000 were reported.

These expenditures
were primarily...

by "primarily," I mean about
96% of these expenditures,

were for Richter's
two main retail brands.

These brands
made up over 85%

of the company profits
in the last fiscal year,

an increase of some 14%
from the previous year.

This increase is based
on sales of $16,800,000.

Total sales were up
only $200,000

in the last fiscal year,

even with an increase
in advertising expenditures

of $872,000.

So, while the sales
of Wh-Whiz Bam

and Cherry Poppie Balls
ar-ar-are up.

Uh, sales for their
retail brand, Chocorama...

Yeah, Smith.

Gumball.

Would you repeat that?

Gumball.

Okay, let's wrap it up
for today, gentlemen.

Thank you.

Gumball!

Aah!

Will you take
a look at this for me?

Here we go.

To him who accepts
the challenge,

- Do you know what he's talking about?
- to him who risks all...

comes the satisfaction
of victory

and a sense of physical
well-being

in return for...

I want you to get this...

In return for hardship,

exhaustion, discomfort.

Ponos.

Thank you very much.

Hi, Sam.

Bannon?

It's on. We're a go.

Look. I... I've been
giving this matter

a lot of thought,

and... look, you don't have
anything to lose.

I mean, to you, this thing
is just a stunt.

I've got a position
at this university,

I've got
a shot at tenure.

All I have to do is
stay out of trouble

a couple of more years,

I'll be set
for life.

I can't risk that.

It's not a risk.

It's a challenge.

Hey, get out of the way!
What's the matter with you?

What are you, deaf,
you hippie freak?

I can't eat with all
this noise going on.

Come on.

Let's take him.

Car 34, come in.

Uh, this is car 34.
Over.

Yeah, we got a telegram
for you clowns.

Does, uh, "gumball"
mean anything to you?

Uh, negative. 10-4.

Let's go.

That's beside
the point...

I've got that chicken
in the oven.

Hi, Oscar.

The kids' clothes
are all laid out.

Okay, don't worry.

Just have
a good time.

I will. Bye, Oscar.
See you.

- Have a good time.
- All right.

Kids, be good.
Listen to your daddy.

You would think

she was planning
the D-day invasion

instead of a weekend
in the country.

Attention, please.

All passengers
holding tickets...

Excuse me.

- Thank you.
- on TWA flight number 132 to New York...

Hi. Smoking.

Be careful. Be careful with
the liquor cabinet.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Andy, you know
how often my wife

tried to get me to
get rid of this car?

Well, that's German
machinery for you.

The car
outlasted her.

Sedately, Barney...

as befits our years
and station in life.

Of course.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ace Preston,
Mr. "Guts" himself,

is in the white car
revving up.

He will attempt
the death-defying

Russian T-bone...
a nose-dive into oblivion.

And there he goes,

and where he stops,
nobody knows!

Ladies and gentlemen...

Ace Preston
on the high speed.

Go, Ace. Go!

A T-bone served
by Mr. "Guts."

Whoo!

Hey. What do
you say, buddy?

I didn't have
time to change.

Aren't you excited
about this thing?

No. I'll be glad
when it's over.

Well, I don't expect
to live forever.

Don't worry, kid,
you won't.

Excuse me.

May I give
you a flower?

I am a stranger
in this country.

And I've never seen
such a beautiful woman

in all my life.

You see,
I would like to know,

maybe you could
inform me of a hotel.

Here we are,
old buddy.

New York, New York.

The Big Apple!

I feel ready.
I'm pumping up.

I've been pumped up.

Yeah.

Ah, Franco.

Prego. Come sta?

- Fine. Thank you. And you?
- Good.

How's
the bambino?

She's-a full-a gas,
she's-a wait for you.

Hey, you make
a good Italian.

Lieutenant Roscoe?

Mike Pakowsky, N.Y.P.D.

How are you?

The car's outside.
I'll take you downtown now.

I got a brother-in-law
in L.A.

Two marties
and a double man.

Gumball.

They're coming in now.

All of them.

I'm going to stay here
on the stakeout.

It's 9:05.

I'll check in again
at 10:00.

Graves.

In through there,
please.

Uh, right through
that door,

there's a banquet room.

Thank you.

It was just
a misunderstanding.

Oh, that's
what you call it?

I call it a lie!

Well,
it's after 9:30.

That's
the deadline.

Should we close it up,
Mr. Bannon?

Yeah. Put Fred
on the door.

I want that room
sealed.

Ladies...

Gentlemen...

You have been selected

because you have
the necessary skills.

You are here

because you have
the determination to succeed.

Now, it won't be
as easy as last year.

There are some who will use
any means to try and stop us.

Some of you won't make it.

For those of you who do,

there will be no glory,

no headlines...

But just a few magic hours,

flat out against
the red line,

with no catalytic converter,

and no 55-mile-an-hour
speed limit.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the Gumball Rally has begun!

- Yay!
- Yeah! Yeah!

Whoo! Bravo!

Now, for those of you
who've never done this before,

I think I'd better
go over the rules.

Uh, the first thing
to remember

is that there are
no rules.

The first vehicle
to reach the parking lot

at the Queen Mary
in Long Beach

is the winner...

the unofficial winner...

Because this
is an unofficial race,

and so it follows that none
of us are really in this race.

We don't want any, uh,
civilian involvement.

No accidents...

please?

Remember
it's 2,900 miles.

That...

34 hours and 11 minutes...
is the record...

set last year
by our dear friend Mr. Bannon.

Now, I know we all ought
to get some rest tonight.

Uh, but... may I?

I'd like to propose a toast.

To internal combustion...

and wind in the face.

You know,
I think Roscoe's

got a grudge
against you, Smitty,

from last year.

Hey, why do I always get blamed
for everything anyway?

Because
you're a schemer.

It's going to be
a lot different

from last year
anyway, you know.

Yeah, I noticed.

You brought a real ringer
with you this time.

A what?

Well, you know.
Your friend... Franco.

What do you mean?
What's he ever won?

Le Mans, Grand Prix
de Monaco?

What does that mean?

He's coming along

because he's
a real nice guy.

Don't you think
it's a bit like

trying to kill
a butterfly with a hammer?

Oh, stop, will you?

You make me feel
ashamed of myself.

Oh, Smitty,
don't worry.

Sam and I will
do our best.

Yeah, but isn't it funny,
though, you know?

Sometimes in life when
your best just isn't...

quite good enough,
you know?

You're still bitter,
huh?

No. No, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

No. I'm...
I'm going to win,

that's all.

Don't get
overconfident.

Um...

Let's, uh...

flip to see who takes
care of Roscoe, hmm?

Oh, yeah. Right.

Tails.

Oop. Wrong.

Oh, no. Why do
I always get him?

I'll take care of him
the morning of the race.

Mr. McAllister,
Mr. Donahue!

Mr. McAllister.

Mr. McAllister,
Mr. Donahue!

Here you are, sir.

Barney,
I'm hungry.

Oh!
I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Bull's-eye!

Hit the trunk,
old buddy.

Ah. Lookie! Here.

Extra uniforms...

All of them for
along the way.

Look at this.
Police decals.

All you gotta do

is just stick them
on the doors.

Hey, give me a hand
with the lights.

Give it a try.

Oh.

Can you imagine?

Do you believe
that?

You guys,
listen to this.

Look, I been figuring.

With 200 gallons of gas
back here,

we don't have to make
one damn stop. Not one.

- Ever seen anything like this?
- No, nice.

Wait till you hear it
run, man.

I got that computer
information en route...

the weather and the traffic
and the road conditions.

What's the matter,
Jose?

Nothing, Mr. Bannon.
I'm okay.

Hey, don't let
all this stuff get you down.

Hey, I'm fine.
What do I care?

I mean, if I wanted to go,
I could go.

I mean, it's a free country,
right?

I mean, this whole race
is unofficial,

so I'm as unofficial
as you are,

see, if I wanted
to go, I'd go.

If I had a car.

It's my girlfriend,
you see.

She tells me
yesterday,

"No more dates
on the subway."

I tell you
something.

In this country,
you ain't nothing...

if... if you got
no wheels.

Oh, I don't know.

You been
on the roads, lately?

I think the age
of the motorcar is over.

Hey, Mr. Bannon,

is it okay if I take
a few hours off?

Sure, th...

Okay, kill it.

Kill it!

Why don't you hurry up?

I'm gonna have to redo
everything you've done.

Jeez, Mike, what
did you think this was,

a vintage car event?

Well, Smitty,

some things get meaner
as they get older.

Well,
it's real cute.

Very fast.
Very uncomfortable.

That's good, though.
That's macho.

That's good
for you.

That old Smitty.

You know, we've been competing
in everything...

sports, school,
girls.

20 years of competition

can sometimes
get out of hand.

Why didn't he buy

the rest of
the Ferrari team

while he was at it?

I'm not so sure
he didn't.

Hey, where is that Italian flash,
anyway?

Franco? Hasn't
showed up all day.

He's probably
resting up.

Yeah. Getting
his plugs cleaned.

Vrroom. Vrroom,
vrroom, vrroom.

I must go now...

my darling.

Will you write?

If I can.

I mean...

I never met anyone
who was going to Borneo.

It is not
a pleasure trip.

Be careful, Franco.

I cannot do
the work I must

and also be careful.

Then be lucky.

That's better.

Placida � I'onda

Prospero � il vento

Venite all'agile Barchetta mia

Santa Lucia

Santa

Lucia

This is Red Fox
to Barracuda.

Red Fox to Barracuda.

Now, I figure

they're gonna leave
late tonight

or early
tomorrow morning.

As soon as I see them go,
I'll let you know,

and I want roadblocks

on every bridge
and tunnel going west.

Do you copy?

Now, as the contract
reads,

no driving
after 6 p.m.,

not to exceed
55 miles per hour.

You're bonded?

Of course.

Mr. Blakely is a connoisseur
of fine automobiles.

But for California
driving,

he's especially fond
of this one.

Minga!

You may go.

Sure.

Gently.

Gently!

Drive carefully.

Jesus, it's a hit.

We still
haven't got the food.

What are
we going to eat?

Oh, Franco.
Where you been?

Your mother called.

She's been looking
for you everywhere.

Now you make-a jokes
on my mother, huh?

No, no, no.
About your mother.

Not on your mother,
Franco.

I wouldn't
get on your mother.

Just-a like
in Monte Carlo...

jokes.

You insult-a me.

You insult-a my family.

You insult-a
my country, my honor!

My dignity you insult!

I warned you...

but you wouldn't
listen!

No more jokes!

You see this-a?

No more jokes!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Very good,
Franco.

You like?

Yeah, it's very nice.

Where is the...
the professore!

Hey, professore
in the pee-Pee.

Ah!

Are you always
like this?

Franco is ready.

The race-a can begin.

Here we go, Andy.

- Porsche, 2!
- Good for you.

Ha ha ah ha!

6 for the Dodge.

All right.

Cobra, 4.

Boo!

Whoo hoo!

Cobra!

3, uh, Ferrari.

Jaguar...

10.

Take your number
there.

Ah... number 1.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Number 8.

Who's holding 8?

It's Lapchik,
the lone eagle.

Those are
your starting positions.

Jose will start
every vehicle.

You got something to do?

You're, uh, you're
starting times

will be registered here
and in Long Beach,

and your elapsed time
will all be verified,

so, uh, that's it.
Let's get some rest.

Hmm?

It's done, brother.

Go.

Okay.

Get ready.

All right,
ladies and gentlemen,

start your engines!

And now, my friend,

the first-a rule
of Italian driving.

What's-a behind me
is not important.

Well, buddy,
here's to us

and that we get there
first.

Why don't you give
New York,

one of those famous
rebel yells of yours

before we hit
the street?

You know,
just to start my blood.

Whoooo!

Whoo-whoo-whoo-
whoo-whoo!

Camaro.

6:00. Off!

Porsche. 6 and 10.

Go!

It's going down.

Off!

What's the hell is
the matter with you guys?

Where are you?

Cobra. 6:00
and 30 seconds.

Go!

Bastards!

They're not going
to do it again!

Mercedes.

6 and 40. Off!

You animal!

51st street.

Bravo!
Times Square!

It's going to be
a nice day.

Good morning.

Hey, hey, hey!

Good morning to you!
Ha ha ha!

Adios!

Sons of bitches.

Miserable son of a bitch!

Hey, fella,
can you loan me a dime?

Drop your pants.

Look, I'm a cop
on the job.

I'm Robin Hood!

Drop them!

Okay.

Real easy, fella.

Drop them.

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay. Just stay calm,
huh?

Sss!

Honk if you're horny!

Hit it!

Hit it!

Whoo!

It's fun, ain't it?

You can't go back.
It's one way!

What do you
want me to do?

Will you calm down?

You should have
checked the route.

I mean, wait,
you blaming me?

Ah, damn it!

This is
one way, too!

I am only going
one way.

Wake up, meatheads.

Another great day is starting
in New York City,

the Big Apple.

Get up. Get ready.
The Giants won 7-Zip,

believe it or not.

The Age of Aquarius
is really on us.

Now, the Eastern Standard Time
is five minutes past 6:00.

You want to go fast?

No, it's all right.
We got plenty of time.

Hey! Watch
where you're going!

Now we take
a left over here, right?

But we got to go left.

Watch out, Joey!
You'll ruin the car!

What's the matter
with you?

Will you take it easy,
for God's sakes!

Joey,
slow down a minute!

I'm not lost.

Damn it!
Make a left over here!

Hey! Did you know
there's a hole back there?

No shit.

And a hungry smile.

Can you look hungry
for me?

This is Uncle Bruce.

Hussy, get hungry,
hungry...

$150-a-Night hungry
for me.

You know the feeling. Good!
Good! I like that.

I love that.
I love that look.

Fans. Hungry fans.
Click.

Thank you.

Thank you. That's
the end of the session,

and it's been...
it's been all right.

Hey, baby.

How do you like it?

Oh, terrific.
You stole it, right?

Come on.
I'm in a rush.

Come on, get in.

Let me have it.
Here.

So how do you
like it, huh?

This is real class...

I mean, real class.

Come on!
Turn it on!

What, is this
the switch?

That's it!

Hey, maybe we should...
wait a minute.

Christ,
if this thing works...

some city
you got here.

I didn't know
what size to bring.

I said, better too big
than too little.

Did you get any of them?

We didn't
put it out.

We were waiting
to hear from you.

They snipped my radio.

How about your car?

The wheels fell off.

Oh, those guys
sound mean.

Take me
to the airport.

Now?

Hey,
you got to learn

to roll with
the punches, Roscoe.

Llllllll!

Harold,
how you been?

Hey, that's
Crazy Harold.

How long do we
have to drive anyway?

If we're lucky,
about 35 hours.

Where we going,
Cuba?

No, Long Beach,
California.

Stop.

No, I can't.

No, no. Stop.
I mean, you can't.

You pull over to the side.
Just stop and let me out.

I forgot to tell you
something.

I'm in a race.

- And I can't go back.
- I don't care what you're in.

- I'm getting out.
- You gotta stay.

Pull over to the side,
or I'm jumping.

No, you ain't gonna do.

No, wait a minute. No, wait a minute.
Close that door!

Take it easy, now.
Just take it easy.

We'll get there.

From the garage
to the Jersey Turnpike...

6 minutes, 58 seconds.

That's 15 seconds
better than last year.

Terrific!

You got the snooper
working?

Get a weather report
on the CB.

You got it!

All you truckers out there,

this is Big Ben
in Jolly Green.

We got a little light snow
coming in from Pennsylvania.

Roll on

Yellow Camaro

Exact change.
25 cents.

Whoo hoo hoo hoo
hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Well, we're
heading south.

We got plenty
of open road.

You're a spastic.

I was also all-state
in basketball.

That's it. I don't have
any more quarters.

So get out
of the car.

You got a quarter?

Come on!

Get out
of the car.

Aw, shit.

Get that tin can
out of the way!

Where do you think
it is?

- Under the car.
- What?

Under the car.

If I was a quarter,
where would I be?

Where did it go?

Pull on through.
Park in section "D."

How about explaining
that last move, buddy?

What's a Smokey the Bear?

Highway patrol.

Plain
brown wrapper?

Uh... City policeman.

Oh... Unmarked car?

Police car.

County Mountie?

Uh... County sheriff.

And a local yokel.

City policeman.

You're so smart,
the next time out,

I'm going to make sure you
get a driver's license.

Well, happy hunting,
Roscoe.

Sorry
about the pants.

And you call yourself
New York's finest.

Well, I got you
all out of New York.

See you later,
Sir Roscoe.

Taxi!

- Taxi.
- The crusade is straight ahead!

Now, our crew is going ahead
in a plane.

They got spare parts,
everything we're going to need.

Now, I've got all these stops
here marked and coordinated.

Beautiful!

What the hell
are you doing?

Ah, she is-a
magnificent!

Look, this is a race, man!

Some things are more
important than winning.

Maybe the float's
stuck.

Maybe it's
the humidity.

England is humid.

I feel like Moses

at the parting
of the Red Sea!

Hey, man.
This is no good.

What's the matter,
huh?

Well, take a look.
It's too easy.

Yeah, yeah.

It's too easy until
somebody nails us.

This is Flying Lasagna
coming in to the oven.

Do you copy?

10-4.
The oven is hot.

See that gas station?

Let's pull off there.

Let's get-a ready.
One man take them...

brilliant.

Brilliant!

Thank you.

Preston!

What do you want?

I got to take a leak.

No, thank you.
I'm not going to stop

so you can take a piss.

There's a bottle
in the back.

I can't do that.

I'm not going to stop
until we need gas.

I can't hold it, buddy.

I'm telling you,
use the bottle.

I tried this once going 60.
Didn't work then.

Well,
if you're coordinated,

once you start...
you won't stop.

Hey! Come on!

Stop.

I'm getting this
all over my hands!

My hands are wet!

You're a dumb
son of a bitch sometimes.

I don't know why I even hang
around with you or anything.

I wouldn't have
done this to you!

Those dirty
son of a bitches.

I hope there's tough
justice in Illinois.

I want to nail them,
sheriff,

and this
ought to do it.

Then what?

Then I'm going to turn
them over to you,

and you can
throw away the key.

You'll be doing
this country a favor.

That's what!

Now we can start
running.

How's our time?

Right on schedule!

I wonder what
old Roscoe is doing now.

Developing an ulcer.

Ha ha ha ha!

Hey, steady, huh?

She is a-happy.

They're coming!

Goddamn.
Was that Roscoe?

I wonder
if he set us up.

Oh, terrific.

Oh.

I got them now.

Jeez, I'd love to see
the look on their faces.

How fast
are you going?

Just-a a-100.

Well, let's hit it.
Avanti!

Thank you,
my dear friend.

Jesus!
We're going over 100 knots!

Well, come on,
step it up, buddy.

Hey,
what's the matter?

Sir,
we can't catch them.

He must be going
180 miles per hour.

We don't even have a fixed-wing
airplane that could catch that.

Ha ha ha ha!

Now what?

Take me
to the airport.

It's a handsome design.

I wish it ran.

I'm going to tell you
something, Harry,

this thing handles
like a pig.

Hey, I think
it'll get better.

Wait till we use up
some of the gas.

This thing's
a bear to handle.

What's up, Harry?

I don't know,
but did we break anything?

I don't know.
Maybe we'd better stop.

Are you kidding, stop?

I guess
we're all right.

Roll on.

Hey, look!

What the hell's
the matter with him?

I think he's having
a nightmare.

You don't see?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

- Fire. Fire.
- You can't outrun it, you asshole!

Pull this thing
off the road!

Whoa!

I hope you learn
from this experience.

I made this drive
once before

in 1946
in a Mercury coupe.

Is that so?

Ah, but it's
different now.

Yes, newer roads,
older bodies.

Yeah, too much
too late.

But if I have to die,
Andy,

I want to die trying.

Good.

Would you say
that man Lapchik

has a certain
joie de vivre?

I'd say
he's possessed

of a severe case
of masochism.

Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha!

I think
it was a meteor.

That's what it was.

You okay, huh? You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Who's that guy?

Yeah!

Whoa!

Keep your eye
on the road.

Just getting
my rhythm up.

Keep up the speed,
will you?

Well, I am keeping up
the speed.

It's just so boring
out here,

my mind's
starting to drift.

This is America, Gibson,
and America's not boring.

Yeah? Well, motel signs,
caf� signs,

one-way signs,
"do not enter" signs,

and every other
kind of sign,

it all looks
the same to me.

Now, back there, we saw
a reptile farm.

That's more right down
my alley.

Get my hands on
a boa contractor.

The word
is "constrictor"!

And don't slow down.
Move it!

Why did I pick him
for a mechanic?

Because I'm the best,
that's why.

Oh, what in the name
of farm corn,

did he come from?

I told you to keep
your eyes on the road!

How am I supposed to
keep my eyes on the road,

have a good time,

think about
my girlfriend,

and do all this,
huh? Tell me!

You're a product
of too much inbreeding.

- Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
- Watch out, P.D.

- We did it!
- Hit it. You got yours.

It's those damn
fake cops.

Ha ha ha ha!

Will you move it now!

Damn it if you can't
take a joke.

I want to go home.

You say you want
to be a movie star,

that you want to be
somebody.

I mean, you take
acting classes,

you take
dance classes,

you work hard.

Where the hell
do you think

you're going
to be discovered...

standing on a corner
in Queens? Huh?

I mean, baby, listen.

Now...

In Hollywood.

Do you really think so?

Baby, I... I,
I really like you.

You should try
to be nice to me.

You know,
you should try to...

to understand.

Oh.

Huh?

I do.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Aah!

Just take the wheel!

You're crazy!

Aah!

Hey, you guys!

Jesus Christ!

Whitey, Whitey,
you okay, boy?

Talk to me!

Hello out there, this is Hoosier.

I'm a-coming in
from the Cactus Patch.

Rolling on
to Derby City.

Got Smokeys all over 40
giving out green stamps

as you ride the cloverleaf
into the Buckeye, hear?

You can put the hammer down

and watch out
for two little beavers

in a black speed boat
coming your way,

and they are broken.

They got ears. Do you copy?

It's that damn Smith.

He's the one who links up
all this mess.

He's a damned overaged
juvenile delinquent,

and I want him.

I want to suspend
his license in perpetuity.

Who's Smith?

The thorn in my side,
captain.

The cloud over my head.

Baker spotted them
about 5 miles back.

They should be here soon.
They're flying.

He must be doing over 160.

I've never saw anything
so damn fast.

I got them!

Get everybody in position.

All right. Come on, let's go get them.

See that truck up here?

Pull in behind it,

and blow the horn.

You're fantastic!

I thought
you'd like that.

Bravo! Bravo!

Maybe they stopped.

Send a car up the road.

What's up?

Any speeders pass you
back there?

Nobody passed me
within 15 miles.

Okay, get out of here!

What happened,

somebody rob a bank
or something?

None of
your damn business!

Just move it out!

There's no sign of them
anywhere.

Well, they couldn't just
have vanished into thin air.

I'll be
a son of a bitch.

Where are you going?

Follow me!

Open it up.

Open it!

Are you happy?

Get it out of here.

It's so easy
on these interstates!

Can you imagine
making this trip

at 55 miles an hour?

55 miles an hour
is unsafe.

It's boring.

That's why
it's unsafe.

Well, it's fast enough
to kill you,

but it's slow enough

to make you think
you're safe.

What time
have you got?

6:00.

Great! 12 hours!

1/3 of the trip!

I think
it's terminal.

This is Casey Kasem
on America's Top 40...

in Colorado Springs,

you're listening to
casey Kasem's America's Top 40

on KYFM,

where the temperature
is now 34 degrees and dropping.

America's Top 40

Hey, hey, fella?
What's the matter?

You cold or something?

Hey, hey.

Take it easy, okay?

Everything's
going to be okay.

Stay calm, okay?

Stay calm.

Okay?

Okay, Dr. Pepper.

- Okay.
- Chop-chop. Let's go, huh?

Okay, let's make it.
Hey, my man!

Boy, attaboy.

There's
those damn fake cops.

They see us?

Let's not wait around
to find out.

Yes! Oklahoma!

Land of the red man.
Land of the cowboy.

Land of the cow
and the dog.

Sailing, Ace.
You're sailing, buddy.

I don't believe it!

What?

It's those guys.

I think they're going
to pull the same stunt!

They must think
you're pretty stupid.

Yeah...
ha ha ha ha.

Boy, that car moves!

Well, put it on 140!

If he catches us,
I'll eat my Airedale.

Hey, that's
a real sheriff, man.

That is a real...

sheriff.

I'll get you,
you mother...

Whoo! Ha ha ha!

He lost his engine!

Whoo!

Go get them, fellas!

Get them!
Go get them!

They went that-a-way!

Catch up to them!
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

I thought you said
you could drive.

What the hell
you talking about?

Man, there was oil back
there on the road!

Fill it up, please.

Shut it off!
Shut it off!

Hello.

Hello.

Where are you going?

Los Angeles.

Driving all night-a?

Yes.

Alone?

Yes.

You like me?

Yes.

Excuse-a
one moment.

Uh,
don't go away.

I... I have
a small problem.

Huh?

A small problem, huh?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure you do.
Forget it.

She's-a very sweet.

- She's-a got breasts like a ripe melons.
- Forget it, will you?

Come on. Come on! Let's go.

She's beautiful.
She wants-a me now.

I cannot deny her.

That's impossible.

She's so sweet!

We can
make up the time!

It's impossible.
Forget it.

Get in the car,
will you?

No! No! No!

I don't get
into the car! No!

Okay.

I'll see you later.

Arrivederci, my friend!

Ugh! I hate beer!

Yeah,
you hate everything.

I'm getting real bored
lately.

What you're getting
is real boring lately.

Did you see that one?

One of them foreign jobs.

- Yeah, and it had two girls in it.
- Let's go.

Go! Go!

We got a terrific
stretch of road

the next 25 miles.

Don't do anything
weird, Joe.

The last time
they locked us up.

Don't worry about it!
These dollies are ready!

Waa-ah!

Ohh! Waa!

Hey, they're
kind of cute.

Huh?

Oh, you got
to be kidding me.

Yeah. Maybe I'll just
tease them a little bit

and have some fun.

Howdy, ma'am!

Howdy, mister.

Hey, where do you
wind this thing up?

Hey, you old enough
to drink?

I'm old enough to do
a lot of things, mister.

Did I tell you?
Did I tell you?

Hey, slow that thing down!
It's gonna break.

What do you want to do...
play doctor?

Ohh! I'm in love! I'm in love!

Sweetheart...

if you catch me...

you can have me.

Are you kidding?

Go!

Go!

Go. This is a dream
come true!

Get on it! Go!

That was really dumb.

Oh, they'll never
catch up with us.

Drive, Earl! Drive!

Well, goddamn.

Franco, you're miss
all the fun.

Vroom, vroom.

Mmm.

Goddamn!

Where's Franco?

We must have lost him
somewhere.

It's a difficult thing
to think about

at 2:00 in the morning.

Well, I guess
I can ease up now.

Feeling better?

Oh, my God.

Oh!

Well?

Andy, I need
an inspiration.

Yes, it's that time
of the morning.

Something to make
the blood hot.

What would you say
to a bit of Henry V?

Oh, you're
a mind reader.

Ha ha!

"Once more into the breach,
dear friends,

once more."

"O, follow your spirit.

"And on this charge cry,

"God for Harry,

England, and Saint George!"

Christ.

I hope Lapchik the mad
Hungarian sees that.

He came off right here!

He's got
to be down there.

Man, he's got
to be down there.

Hey! Hey, fella,
are you all right?

They're going to be leaving
Nevada on Interstate 15.

That's the way they're
going to be coming,

and they'll be coming
through this junction.

You haven't had
too much luck before.

Yeah, but
they were forewarned.

They've got CB radios.

They could listen
to everything we say.

I mean, there was
no way around it.

I can't understand how,
but they did it.

They did it.

This time, this time, it's going
to be planned.

Really planned.

Boy, you really
want them bad.

Gentlemen, this is Roscoe's
last stand!

Don't let go
of the accelerator.

For you, you lovely
American animal.

Remember Franco.

The quickest man
I know.

Bye!

Bye!

Bella! Bella!

What the hell?

She can-a drive, huh?

Yeah. Bannon and Graves
got by last night.

Well, let them have their
brief moment of glory.

Yeah. We'll be in Nevada
pretty soon.

Nevada!

Las Vegas!
Civilization.

The dancing girls

with the bouncing
boom-booms.

Oh, shut up, will you,
with that?

- Hey, what's that car?
- Look at that piece there.

That's a rolls-Royce,
you asshole.

Hey. Ain't
she sweet?

She looks lonely.

- Wahoo!
- Yeah!

I love it! I love it!

Hey. Come on,
Angie, come on.

Let's go.

Let's get her!

Come on. Cut that cleaning crap.
Get in the car.

I'm going
to get a coke.

Get your ass in the car.
Come on, Angie.

Look at it!
Look at it!

Ya-ha ha!

Let's go, baby!

Come on, baby!

Angie!

Come on!

Come on, baby.

I ain't going
to hurt you.

- One little kiss, hey?
- Angie.

I just want to salute
your bicentennial flag.

One little kiss
for me.

Oh, I can reach out
and grab them.

Ehhh!

Come on, baby.

It's going to be you, you,
me and all my friends!

Boo!

Hey, send her out.

Yeah. Come on,
brother,

- cut your initials in that truck.
- Oh, jeez.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, come on out.
We won't hurt you.

Come on!

Get out!

I'll get you, faggot!

Quit stalling.

Go.

Hey! You watch
that bike.

I'm warning you, you little...

Look what you did!

You got some nerve

to go out and get
some Coca-Cola.

Come on, go, go!

Let's get them! Let's go!

Those pigs!

Oh, shit.

They coming after us.

We're going to get you!

Oh, you know what's gonna
happen now?

They're gonna rape you,

and they're gonna
kill me.

Oh, really?

Maybe they'll kill me
and rape you.

Oh, we're going
to get you.

Do something!

What do you
want me to do?

Christ, I hate
this country.

Hey, knock it off!

Whoa!

What the hell
do they want?

Hey, baby,
want a ride?

Whoa!

Aah!

Oh, shit.

Hey, old buddy.

Huh? Hmm?

Wake up, man.

Lookie here.

What now?

Oh, jeez.

Uh...

Turn back 6 yards,
then punt.

You know, you fellas

were doing
just about 90.

Oh. Really?

Um, okay, okay, okay.

Cut, cut, cut.

Hey. Hey, man,
was it me?

The line was
supposed to be,

"Let me explain."

Oh, damn.

Sure is a funny-looking
police car.

Say, uh...

what police
department

are you fellas
from anyway?

None.

Impersonating
an officer, huh?

Just turn
around there,

- stand easy up against the car.
- Hey.

- Oh, come on.
- Wait a minute, now.

We, uh...

we're on film
right now.

What do you mean,
you're on film?

What, are you making a movie?

Yeah, sure. I mean,

the camera's right up there
on that mountaintop.

Well, nobody informed me
about that.

Well, that's obvious.

I mean, you think
we'd be riding around

in this rinky-dink
police car

with chocolate cookies
on the dashboard

if it weren't
for a movie?

Well, I wouldn't know
anything about that.

All I know is the law's
still the law.

Listen, officer, you...
I mean, absolutely.

You're right.
I mean, we were speeding,

But, uh...

oh, hey,
wait a minute.

This is perfect.

You could help us.

Help you?

Help you do what?

Sure.

The whole
mise-en-scene

that leads
into the exposition,

and the d�nouement...
and the intention.

It's perfect!

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Let me
get this straight.

Are you trying
to tell me

that you want me
to be in your movie?

Well, uh...

I mean, uh...

that is, if you've
got five minutes,

and you know, if you'd like to be
in a hollywood film, sure.

I don't know, I...

Heh heh.

Avila, call Clint and see
if they're ready, okay?

And tell them that we have
Officer, uh...

Williams.

Officer williams here,
and we'd like to use him.

- God, you sure got a good-looking smile.
- Okay.

Hey, old buddy.

They want
to see his face.

Officer Williams, step down over here
by your car for me.

For just a second,
would you, please?

Sure.

Let's just
kind of stand over here or something.

Posed... You know, something
like that, huh?

- Yeah.
- All right.

This is all preliminary stuff
for the camera folk.

- Sure.
- Focus, stuff like that.

- Do you know what I mean, okay?
- How's that?

Yeah, fine. Just...

- Just turn the chin around a little.
- Yeah.

No, no. Just a...

Just give me
the chin

a little bit this way.
That...

Oh, I see what you mean.

Yeah. You got it.

God, you got
a great profile.

Hey, old buddy, they got it,
and they say it's a-okay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

All right, okay.
Now, listen.

This is what
we're gonna do.

Avila and I are gonna
get in the car,

we're gonna go down the
road about 2 miles, okay?

Then we're gonna
turn around

and come barrel-assing
back through this way.

Then you get in your...

I get in my car
and chase you.

You got it.
That's it.

Perfect!

Hey, wait a minute.

Don't I got
to put on some makeup?

Makeup?

Hey,

does Charlie Bronson
wear makeup?

Charlie who?

Bronson.

Oh, yeah.

That little guy, right.

All right, old buddy.

Come on, let's go.
They're rolling.

Oh, okay.

Scene 14,

take 2...

hand mark!

Aw, come on, now, let me see
them pearly whites.

Smile. That's it.

Action!

Oh, going down the road

Big old Queen Mary

Can you smell
the Queen Mary's butt?

Frrrt. Phew!

God, can't you turn off
the heater?

Either the engine
gets hot,

or we get hot!

Well, I'm going to have
a stroke.

You're going
to have a stroke?

I should be so lucky.

Because if you don't stop
playing that music...

I'm going to kill you!

I swear to God!

I'm going to kill you!

I'm going to kill you!

I liked Joe.

He was sweet.

Aren't you going
to talk to me anymore?

You got to admit,
he was a good mechanic.

He fixed the car
faster than we could.

Furthermore,

we didn't lose
much time.

We made time,
as a matter of fact.

It was love
at first sight.

Are you crazy?

Love at first sight?

Out there in the middle
of the night?

In the middle of a field
under the stars?

A girl can't always find
the perfect spot.

Why do I always get
the big boy?

Heck. They
don't need you.

Yeah. They chew us out
for losing the car.

I think Roscoe's gonna give
it one more try before L.A.

I didn't hear anything
on the radio.

Maybe he's
getting smart.

Howdy.

Howdy.

Just couldn't help but
overhear your conversation.

Oops. Wrong.
Thank you.

I'm gonna get back
on the road.

No, no, no, no, no.
There's too many police cars

go down the road
this morning.

You see where
they went?

Nope, but I could
find out.

Now, you got a deal.

Ha ha ha.

You guys seem to need
a rabbit.

Are you, uh,
volunteering?

Oh, listen,
listen, listen.

I play, but I...
I play for pay.

You want the road
cleared out,

it's going to cost you
$500 cash paid in advance.

$500 paid in advance.

Ha ha ha.

Could be
worth it.

Yeah, well, uh...

suit yourselves, okay?

Oh...

they don't make babies
like this anymore.

Give me six for the
lead time, okay?

That's
the ugliest car I ever saw.

Looks like a jukebox.

Well, I got them.

Right behind me yet
a Ferrari and a Cobra.

How far back?

You want to talk
about that,

let's have
the money, huh?

That's it.

That's it.

Thanks, uh...

Lieutenant.

Get out of here.

Want one of those?

No, thanks.

You know, uh...

I smell something.

Do you
smell something?

Yeah. A weasel
in a rabbit suit.

Old Roscoe, huh?

Maybe we're being
too cynical.

We should be
more positive,

more trusting.

Oh, get out of here,
will you?

Let's go.

Sam.

We're 27 minutes ahead
of last year's schedule,

but Franco's
driving again.

Well, with a little
bit of luck

and some pure
Yankee style...

All right, you two, up on the hill
with the other car.

All right.
Everybody hear this.

It's plan "B."

Move out!

Come on, now!
Move out! Get moving.

Number one! Move it! Move it!

Come on, you guys.
Let's hustle it here.

Come on!

Take it out of here.

Get them out of here.

How inadequate.

Ready.

55 miles an hour,
Roscoe.

No.

Why?

Wh-why me?

You're
an asshole, Roscoe.

That's why.

I got the bad western blues

I got the bad western blues

I got the bad western blues

Well, good morning
to you, too.

How can you
fall asleep?

It was easy.
You said "Relax,"

and the car is
comfortable.

Comfortable?
It's a $40,000 car.

Of course
it's comfortable.

Well, fine. When we get
to Hollywood,

if you like it so much,
I'll buy you one.

- What's the matter with you?
- When we get you to Hollywood.

Nothing's the matter
with me!

You're
so goddamn stupid.

You think you're gonna

walk down the streets
of Hollywood,

and you're gonna meet
some goddamn producer,

- Wait a minute. What are you talking about?
- and he's gonna make you a movie star!

You told me that
if I went to Hollywood...

I told you
lots of things

because you were
freaking out on me!

All I wanted you was do
for you to like me.

Well, I like you!

You like me?

Yes, I like you.

You know, I've been
thinking all night,

and I'll
tell you what,

you ain't right for me.

You're a goddamn hustler!
That's what you are!

You want to know
who I am?

I'm the girl

who's going to punch you
right in the nose!

You don't understand
anything about me, do you?

What's that?

What the hell
is that?

Look at that.
Oh, what is this?

Slow down.

Why does it only
happen to me?

Do you believe this?

- Wait, I'm trying to drive.
- Just slow down!

- I can't. You crazy? How am I going to slow down?
- Just slow down. Damn it!

I can't see.

Look at...

What the hell
was that?

What the hell
was that?

Oh, my God.

Oh, this is cute.

Oh, my God.

Look what happened.

Hello,
smart-a boy.

You know
what we do

to finks
and traitors?

It was a joke, man.

A joke?

Sorry.

You're sorry, huh?

- Listen...
- After it's too late

to do anything
about it!

I am going
to mark you

with
the gumball gun.

No!

Hee hee hee!

Now you are
marked for life!

Arrivederci.

Vitamin C?

Just for good luck.

You really think
we got a chance?

Ha ha!

- Hey, Roscoe.
- Las Vegas, now arriving...

Don't ask me,
Clancy.

But what happened?

Look, I'm tired.

All I want to do
is go home.

They beat me.
You understand?

Didn't you nail
any of them?

Look, just don't ask me.

Jesus, Roscoe!
All that...

Clancy!

Roscoe.

You look terrible.

Arrrgh!

Well, it's one of
those Los Angeles days, Gene.

We're hovering
over the Civic Center.

We can see traffic
backing up.

We've got a sig alert working now
on the Santa Monica,

and the Pasadena is jammed
as usual.

Golden State's moving,
but just barely,

and the Long Beach
is a sea of cars.

Should continue to be like this
for another hour.

We advise using surface streets
wherever possible,

and try to stay calm
and composed.

There must be
another way.

God, oh, God.

Oh, Christ.

The engine
is too hot.

I guess we're just a little bit
too smart for them, old buddy.

That's right, my friend.
Smooth sailing from here to Long Beach.

Yep, I think
I'll have me a cigar.

My wife is pregnant!

Come on, give me a hand,
will you?

Bug off, jerk!

No.

Oh, no.

Avila, no way.

I don't want
to hear it, Avila.

"To serve
and to protect."

Huh?

Hey! They're
going to stop.

Right here!

Pull in!

Pull in, officer!

Oh, God.
Thank you, officer.

Help! My wife
is pregnant.

She's going
to have a baby.

Her water
just broke.

I tried to get
these guys to help me.

They wouldn't help.

Come on! Help me!

You assholes!
Here! Here!

Oh, Jesus, you're
sent from heaven.

I'm going
to make it, Clare!

Okay, now
just relax.

Just be cool.
Be calm.

We'll take care
of everything. Don't...

Please don't
bite my hand.

Hey, you asshole!
Yeah, you!

Hey!
Wait a minute!

We can use the river.

There's an access road
to the right.

It runs all the way
to Long Beach.

No, no, no.
West. West.

West?

West.

Look at that!

Look at that!
That's Bannon.

What the hell?
Get off of here.

Get off.

Where's that next one?

It's on your left.

Okay!

Look out,
you damn fools!

Right out of there!

You're not allowed
down there!

Up yours!

You can't go
down there!

Stop!

Turn right. Hit it!

I never raced
in a river before.

Okay, the lights are set
for 32 miles per hour.

- All right.
- Just keep going on Sepulveda.

Okay, hang on.

Smile.

Where are
we going now?

32 miles an hour.

Looks like we've got
some water coming up!

- I don't see anything.
- How deep is it in here?

Here goes.

Hold it. Keep the rims high!
Don't stall it out.

I can't see anything.

Come on,
come on, take him!

Take him!

Watch out
for the slick spaces.

That's what I mean!

Oh!

Oh!

The noise is terrific!

Go! Go!

Okay, okay, okay,
let's go.

There's a real big
drain coming up.

Whoo!

Go right!

Really hustle.

All right, now, now.

Go!

Go!

I got him.

Come on, you got him!
You got him!

Whoo!

Where do we turn?

Turn into it! Into it! Into it!

Turn coming up.
Turn coming up!

Where's Franco now?

Damn it!

Okay, Franco,
watch out.

Block him on this turn.

Hang on, Sam.

- All right. Ride him. Ride him.
- Watch out.

Hang on, hang on,
hang on.

Okay, second gear!

Move! Move! Move!

Ya-hoo!

I'll tell you what the
trouble is with you, Ace,

is you don't have
a sense of humor.

This whole thing
is rigged for fun!

Don't talk to me.

Well, come on, buddy.
Cheer up.

Hey, we're
just about there.

We're just about
to smell

the Queen Mary's butt.

Whoo!

Hey, where the hell
do you think you're going?

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

How's this for style?

We'll come whipping in
on two wheels!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Gibson!

Hey, I've seen you do it
a hundred times. I practiced.

Think I can get
in the show?

I think you're making
a mistake!

No, I got
this on the road!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

What's the matter
with you?

Whoo!

Yee-hah!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Damn! I almost had it.

What do you think
I did wrong?

I think
I'm going to be sick.

It's a wreck
or something.

It always happens
when I'm in a hurry.

- Aah!
- Aah!

It's a suicide!

Look at my car,
you jerk!

You dumb jerk!
Look at my car.

What do you think
you're going?

You got
a driver's license?

You people see what
he did to my car?

I don't care.
I have no money.

If you want to put me
in jail,

that's okay with me.
I could use the sleep.

I was just about to get
the car repainted anyway.

Oh, this is
my girlfriend, Angie.

From New York.

Are you sure everything's
okay, Mr. Blakely?

You wouldn't happen to be
an actress,

would you, miss, uh...

Blanche. Why, yes.
How'd you guess?

Well, you have
what we call...

presence.

Well, if it bothers you,

I can put on my jacket.

Why don't we go inside?

I have to do a lot
of entertaining.

I'm in the movie business,
and it's part of the game.

Go, baby!

Aah!

Yee-hah-hah!

What's the matter
with you?

Ha ha ha ha!

Am I clear?

Yes, you're clear.

Go.

Cut them off.
Cut them off.

Good going.

Just make it
to that parking lot.

It's only 2 miles.

No problem.

Relax, relax.

Clear on the right.

There it is.

Let's hope Emergency
Plan Alpha works.

Emergency Plan Alpha?

Go.

God damn it! Quick.
Oh, that's a cheap move.

Terrific.

Take him.

On the right.
On the right.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Go! Go!

Get him now!

Okay.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

I've been waiting
for you.

What took you
so long?

Hey!

Ha ha! It worked!
It worked!

She's a trap!
Get out of here!

Oh, no. Jesus.

- I'll come back.
- Wait, Franco.

Get out of here!

- Arigato.
- Please, move.

Arigato.

Franco. Wait, Franco!

Bellisima!

33 hours and 57 minutes.

A new record!
How's that, Mike?

- Great going, Sam.
- I thought you were in traffic.

Smith was going down.

Hey, two more.

Alice and Jane
and the cops.

I want to thank
my mother,

I want to thank
my friends,

I want to thank
my loved ones.

I want
to thank you...

Hey! Listen, listen,
I want to thank you guys

for me and Mr. "Guts."

Because if you hadn't
picked us up,

we'd have still been
back there

on the freeways
of America.

Now what do you say
we celebrate, huh?

Get over here.

Hey! Shut up.

Shut up.

Um...

Yay!
Whoo.

What can I say?

It just, uh...

just makes me sick.

Angie! Angie baby!
Ha ha!

Oh, baby. Ha ha ha!

Hey, Roscoe!

Roscoe.

Come on, have a drink.

Don't add insult
to injury, Bannon.

Maybe next year.

There isn't going to be
any next year.

I'm retiring,

and you're not gonna have Roscoe
to kick around anymore.

Wouldn't be the same
without you.

Someday, Bannon,

you and Smith.

Well, you know, I was thinking
about retiring, too.

Huh.

No, really.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha!

It's a raid!

Come on.

Follow me.
Follow me.

Get those trucks
over here.

Over here.
That's right.

Down the line.

Come on, come on.

I told you I'd win,
didn't I?

Come on.

Okay, come on.
Move them out.

That's the ticket. Do that.

Roscoe,
what's going on here?

Well, as of 11:00,

you are
illegally parked.

That's according

to California
Vehicle Code

number 22658.

Huh?

22658.

Give me your name
and serial number!

I want your name
and serial number!

Get on, man!

At any rate,

the fines
will be levied,

and they will be
hauled away.

Perfect.

Move them out!

That's right.
Come on.

Let's go.

Let's go. Move it.

Come on, move them out.

That's the idea.

Keep that one going.

Come on, come on.
Move it along.

Move it along.

Those, too.
Get out of here.

Come on.

That's right, that's right. All right.

Hey.

Hey! Hey!

We're a bit late.

I hope we didn't miss
the fun.

Maybe next year!

Um...

How are you gonna
get back to New York?

I hadn't given it
much thought.

This is ridiculous.

Where do you get cars
around here?

Come on.
It's America, babe.

Gumball.

Gumball.

Gumball.
Gumball.

Gumball.
Gumball.

He's here.

Look!

What the hell
is he doing?

Looks like his throttle
is stuck.

Oh, shit!