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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,843 --> 00:00:06,873 And now, a fireside chat with the creators of South Park: 2 00:00:07,053 --> 00:00:09,923 Matt Stone and Trey Parker. 3 00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:17,113 - Hi. I'm Trey Parker. - I'm Matt Stone. 4 00:00:17,333 --> 00:00:22,663 - This is Scratch. Say hi, old fella. - We do a show called South Park. 5 00:00:22,903 --> 00:00:25,393 Tell us a little about yourselves. 6 00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:29,803 I met Matthew at the University of Colorado in film school. 7 00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:33,073 I actually met him in beginning filmmaking. 8 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:38,343 I found someone who could make me laugh, even when I felt like crying. 9 00:00:39,483 --> 00:00:42,473 Guys, who would you say are your role models? 10 00:00:42,653 --> 00:00:45,983 I'd have to say my biggest role model is Matt. 11 00:00:46,193 --> 00:00:49,213 I'd have to say mine is Theodore Roosevelt... 12 00:00:49,423 --> 00:00:51,983 ...for his work with the Rough Riders. 13 00:00:52,193 --> 00:00:54,223 Tell us about this episode. 14 00:00:54,403 --> 00:00:58,303 It's called "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe." It's our favorite. 15 00:00:58,473 --> 00:01:01,233 Kyle's brother Ike is abducted by aliens... 16 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,673 ...and Cartman has strange things implanted in his ass. 17 00:01:04,843 --> 00:01:08,283 The reason this episode is old Scratch's favorite... 18 00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:12,913 ...is because it's the only episode we animated all by ourselves. 19 00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:16,383 This was the pilot, done before we had a series... 20 00:01:16,553 --> 00:01:19,453 ...so we had to do the whole thing ourselves. 21 00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:23,993 For several months, we were locked into a cold, dark, little room... 22 00:01:24,163 --> 00:01:26,463 ...for long periods of time. 23 00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:31,263 That "kick the baby" game looks fun. Have you played it personally? 24 00:01:31,473 --> 00:01:33,733 Neither of us have children. 25 00:01:33,943 --> 00:01:37,703 The only family we have is each other and old Scratch. 26 00:01:37,873 --> 00:01:41,543 - We're not married yet. - We can't even get dates. 27 00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:46,883 The truth is, until we have children, we won't know whether we'll kick them. 28 00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:51,553 You write alien-encounter material with a certain knowledge. 29 00:01:51,723 --> 00:01:55,713 Have either of you actually been abducted? 30 00:01:57,033 --> 00:02:01,463 Trey, it's okay. Go ahead and tell them. 31 00:02:01,633 --> 00:02:05,963 I grew up near South Park, so I was abducted as a small child. 32 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:10,373 I remember the experience. I remember how horrible it was. 33 00:02:10,543 --> 00:02:12,943 I remember too much. 34 00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:19,643 So sit back, relax and enjoy "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe." 35 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:33,237 * I'm goin' down to South Park * * gonna have myself a time * 36 00:02:33,622 --> 00:02:36,753 * Friendly faces everywhere * * humble folks without temptation * 37 00:02:37,105 --> 00:02:39,848 * Goin' down to South Park * * gonna leave my woes behind * 38 00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:43,505 * Ample parking day or night * * people spouting HOWDY NEIGHBOR * 39 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,495 * Heading on up to South Park * * gonna see if I can't unwind * 40 00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:50,223 * (I like girls with big fat t*****s) * * (I like girls with big vag***s) * 41 00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:53,002 * So come on down to South Park * * and meet some friends of mine * 42 00:02:56,653 --> 00:03:01,183 Damn it! My little brother's trying to follow me to school again. 43 00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:04,423 Ike, you can't come to school with me. 44 00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:08,963 - Go home, you little dildo. - Dude, don't call my brother a dildo. 45 00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,933 - What's a dildo? - I don't know. 46 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:14,473 - Cartman doesn't know either. - I know what it is! 47 00:03:14,643 --> 00:03:17,373 - Well, what? - I'm not telling you. 48 00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:18,547 What's a dildo, Kenny? 49 00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:20,634 (It's a little plastic dick) (that goes in a vagina) 50 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:26,673 Yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is, all right. 51 00:03:27,753 --> 00:03:30,383 - That kicks ass. - Check this one out. 52 00:03:30,553 --> 00:03:33,823 - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby. - Don't kick the baby. 53 00:03:33,993 --> 00:03:35,393 Kick the baby. 54 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,153 Looks like you didn't get much sleep. 55 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:45,133 - I had these bogus nightmares. - Really? What about? 56 00:03:45,303 --> 00:03:49,573 Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, in the dark... 57 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:53,973 ...when all of a sudden, this bright blue light filled the room. 58 00:03:54,183 --> 00:03:58,443 And slowly my bedroom door opened. The next thing I remember... 59 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,513 ...I was being dragged through a hallway. 60 00:04:01,683 --> 00:04:06,143 Then I was on a table, and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me. 61 00:04:06,323 --> 00:04:08,953 And they had big heads and black eyes. 62 00:04:09,123 --> 00:04:11,223 - Dude, visitors! - What? 63 00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:15,493 - Those were visitors. - It was just a dream. My mom said so. 64 00:04:15,663 --> 00:04:19,533 - They're are real. - They abduct people and mutilate cows. 65 00:04:19,703 --> 00:04:23,663 Shut up. You're trying to scare me, and it's not working. 66 00:04:24,343 --> 00:04:26,503 - Hello, children. - Hey, Chef. 67 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:31,083 - What's for lunch today? - Salisbury steak with buttered noodles. 68 00:04:31,253 --> 00:04:35,083 - Bean casserole or vegetable medley. - Kick ass. 69 00:04:35,253 --> 00:04:38,693 Did any of you see the alien spaceship last night? 70 00:04:38,853 --> 00:04:40,413 Yeah, fat boy saw it. 71 00:04:40,593 --> 00:04:44,463 That was just a dream. And I'm not fat, I'm big-boned! 72 00:04:44,633 --> 00:04:48,083 Was it the ones with the big heads and black eyes? 73 00:04:48,263 --> 00:04:52,433 - They took him on their ship. - Did they give you an anal probe? 74 00:04:52,603 --> 00:04:53,593 What's that? 75 00:04:53,773 --> 00:04:56,793 That's when they put a metal hoop up your butt. 76 00:04:56,973 --> 00:05:02,313 - They gave you an anal probe, Cartman? - No! I mean, why would they do that? 77 00:05:02,483 --> 00:05:05,743 They did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass! 78 00:05:05,913 --> 00:05:07,913 - Anal probe. - Shut up, dildo! 79 00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:11,383 I gotta get to the cafeteria. Watch that fat boy, now. 80 00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,653 He could be under alien control. 81 00:05:17,763 --> 00:05:20,593 They were real. Sorry about your ass. 82 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:25,533 Goddamn it, they didn't do anything to my ass! It was just a dream. 83 00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:30,173 - Why you walking so funny? - Shut up! 84 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,503 No, Ike, go home. 85 00:05:32,673 --> 00:05:36,703 This is it. This one's for the game. Kick the baby. 86 00:05:40,053 --> 00:05:43,453 - Good morning, Mrs. Crabtree. - Sit down, we're late! 87 00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:50,393 - He's still there. - Don't worry. 88 00:05:50,563 --> 00:05:54,053 If something happens to him, my parents will blame me. 89 00:05:54,233 --> 00:05:56,533 Sit down back there! 90 00:05:56,703 --> 00:05:59,633 - Whatever, you fat bitch. - What did you say?! 91 00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:02,173 I said, I have a bad itch. 92 00:06:02,803 --> 00:06:04,703 Oh, my God! 93 00:06:05,743 --> 00:06:07,873 - Visitors! - Oh, no! 94 00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:10,673 Ike! Stop the bus! 95 00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:13,443 You have to stop this bus! 96 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,413 - Do you want an office referral? - No. 97 00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,353 - Then sit down! - But l... 98 00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:30,133 - Are those the same visitors you saw? - Shut up, it's not working. 99 00:06:30,303 --> 00:06:32,893 - We have to do something. - We can't. 100 00:06:33,073 --> 00:06:36,373 - That fat bitch won't let us. - What did you say?! 101 00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:41,983 - I said that rabbits eat lettuce. - Well, yes, they certainly do. 102 00:06:43,243 --> 00:06:47,153 What am I gonna do? My brother has been abducted by aliens. 103 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,283 You farted. 104 00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:52,213 Somebody's baking brownies. 105 00:06:57,863 --> 00:07:00,023 That's the third cow this month. 106 00:07:00,203 --> 00:07:04,793 At this rate, all my cattle will die before the winter's through. 107 00:07:04,973 --> 00:07:09,773 This isn't unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time. 108 00:07:10,943 --> 00:07:14,173 People been saying they've seen UFOs around. 109 00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:16,373 UFOs? 110 00:07:16,543 --> 00:07:19,543 And black Army CIA helicopters and trucks. 111 00:07:19,713 --> 00:07:23,813 That is the silliest thing I've ever heard. 112 00:07:25,293 --> 00:07:28,263 - What was that? - That was a pigeon. 113 00:07:28,423 --> 00:07:30,763 What am I supposed to do? 114 00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:36,163 Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one? 115 00:07:39,173 --> 00:07:40,363 My cattle! 116 00:07:44,873 --> 00:07:47,573 See? There is something funny going on. 117 00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:51,773 There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back. 118 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:59,653 And now our friend Mr. Hat is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus. 119 00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,693 That's right, Mr. Garrison. 120 00:08:01,863 --> 00:08:06,563 Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend. 121 00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:10,563 He helped them win their war against Frederick Douglass... 122 00:08:10,733 --> 00:08:15,073 ...and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France. 123 00:08:15,243 --> 00:08:20,673 I have to help my stupid brother. If I go home without him, my dad will yell: 124 00:08:20,843 --> 00:08:24,543 "Where's your brother? You weren't looking out for him." 125 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,653 - Let's go find him. - "He can't think on his own. 126 00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:30,883 Brush and floss. Where has that finger been?" 127 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,923 - Dude! - Is there a problem? 128 00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:35,823 - Yes, I have to go now. - Really, Kyle? 129 00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:41,933 - What is it? Another prostate tumor? - My brother's been abducted by aliens. 130 00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:45,663 It's true. Ask Cartman. They gave him an anal probe. 131 00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:50,333 - That's a little joke. - Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. 132 00:08:50,513 --> 00:08:54,703 - Can I please be excused? - I don't know. Did you ask Mr. Hat? 133 00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:57,673 I don't wanna ask Mr. Hat. I'm asking you! 134 00:08:57,853 --> 00:09:03,053 - I think you should ask Mr. Hat. - Mr. Hat, may I please be excused? 135 00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:06,623 Well, Kyle, no! You hear me? You go to hell! 136 00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:10,993 You go to hell and you die! You'll have to take your seat. 137 00:09:11,163 --> 00:09:14,793 - Damn it! - Ha-ha, Mr. Hat yelled at you. 138 00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,293 - My ass! - Damn, Cartman! 139 00:09:18,973 --> 00:09:21,943 - My ass! - Dude, he's farting fire! 140 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:25,903 It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from his rectum! 141 00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:27,873 No, that was just a dream. 142 00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:32,343 Do you need to sit in the corner until your gas is under control? 143 00:09:32,513 --> 00:09:35,453 No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine. 144 00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:50,453 You cows can't get on this train. This is a people train. 145 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:55,573 You cows have no business on a people train, all right? You're cows. 146 00:09:55,743 --> 00:10:00,403 Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? 147 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:04,483 - Because it's not gonna work. - Hold it right there, cows. 148 00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:06,673 Come back here! 149 00:10:14,723 --> 00:10:18,393 - I sure am hungry. - How can you eat when you fart fire? 150 00:10:18,593 --> 00:10:21,363 Shut up, you're being totally immature. 151 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:24,503 - Look, there's Wendy Testaburger. - Where? 152 00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:46,893 - Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger - Shut up, fat ass, I don't like her. 153 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:51,823 I'm not fat. You like her because you throw up when she talks to you. 154 00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:53,553 - I do not. - Hi, guys. 155 00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:54,893 Hi, Wendy. 156 00:10:55,063 --> 00:10:58,433 Here, Stan, this is for you. 157 00:10:58,603 --> 00:10:59,973 Bye, Wendy. 158 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,633 Dude, what does the note say? 159 00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:06,973 Holy crap! She wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school. 160 00:11:07,143 --> 00:11:09,848 - Whoa, maybe you can kiss her. - Or slip her the tongue. 161 00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:12,206 (Maybe you can touch her pussy) 162 00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:15,653 What? How do you know she has a cat? 163 00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:23,513 Let's figure out how to ditch school so we can get Ike back. 164 00:11:23,693 --> 00:11:26,063 Hello, children. How are you? 165 00:11:26,263 --> 00:11:27,663 - Bad. - Why bad? 166 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:31,633 Have you ever had something happen but nobody believed you? 167 00:11:31,803 --> 00:11:37,003 Children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or another. 168 00:11:37,173 --> 00:11:41,613 Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up. 169 00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:04,293 Chef! 170 00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:08,503 - Do you feel better? - No. 171 00:12:08,673 --> 00:12:13,273 Come on, children, what can be so bad? It's Salisbury-steak day. 172 00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:16,803 - Visitors took Kyle's baby brother. - What?! 173 00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:19,953 What are you doing eating Salisbury steak? 174 00:12:20,113 --> 00:12:22,743 - Find him! - Mr. Garrison won't let us go. 175 00:12:22,923 --> 00:12:26,823 - He thinks we're making it up. - You are making it up. 176 00:12:33,593 --> 00:12:35,153 - What? - That was cool! 177 00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:38,733 It's some kind of symbiotic metamorphosis device. 178 00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:42,233 This could mean the visitors want to talk to us. 179 00:12:42,403 --> 00:12:45,403 I see. You're joining in on the joke. 180 00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:48,203 It's no joke, children. This is big. 181 00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:51,643 If I don't get out of school and get Ike back... 182 00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:53,813 ...my parents will disown me. 183 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,113 Hold on now. You got to help the children. 184 00:12:57,293 --> 00:13:00,853 You guys are going a long way to try and scare me. 185 00:13:01,023 --> 00:13:03,153 I want my Salisbury steak. 186 00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:08,663 Fire drill, fire drill! Everybody out! Okay, children, this is your chance. 187 00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:11,393 Killer. Thanks, Chef. 188 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:17,003 First contact with the alien visitors. I've gotta get myself ready. 189 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:20,573 We got out of school No more school today 190 00:13:20,743 --> 00:13:22,403 We got out of school 191 00:13:22,613 --> 00:13:27,573 - You guys, my ass, seriously! - Okay, you can stop farting fire now. 192 00:13:27,753 --> 00:13:31,813 - I can't, you son of a bitch! - How do we get my brother back? 193 00:13:31,993 --> 00:13:34,963 Would you stop going on about your brother? 194 00:13:35,123 --> 00:13:38,423 It was just a dream! I didn't have an anal probe! 195 00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:41,083 I am not under alien control! 196 00:13:52,913 --> 00:13:55,713 - What was that? - He is under alien control. 197 00:13:55,883 --> 00:14:00,783 - His butt's linked up to the visitors. - Son of a bitch! 198 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,153 Guys, shut up. I'm not under alien control. 199 00:14:07,323 --> 00:14:11,783 If you visitors can hear me, bring back my brother, goddamn it! 200 00:14:11,963 --> 00:14:14,453 That hurts, you butt-licker! 201 00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:18,423 - Kyle, look, it's them. - Give me back my brother! 202 00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:26,733 - Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards! 203 00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:32,143 Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close! 204 00:14:32,353 --> 00:14:34,092 Hey, look. I think Kenny's okay. 205 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,203 (No, I am all right. Ahhhh!) 206 00:14:39,598 --> 00:14:40,748 (Nope, I'm fine. Ah!) 207 00:14:45,963 --> 00:14:47,123 Wow, poor Kenny. 208 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,393 - Now do you believe us? - No. 209 00:14:49,563 --> 00:14:52,563 - Cartman, they killed Kenny. - He's not dead. 210 00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:55,703 Dude, Kenny is dead. See? 211 00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:58,863 - Shut up, you guys. - He's dead, Cartman. 212 00:14:59,043 --> 00:15:04,103 Damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! Screw you guys, I'm going home. 213 00:15:04,283 --> 00:15:08,183 - Go on and go home, you fat chicken! - Dildo! 214 00:15:08,353 --> 00:15:12,013 - You're all I have left. - Sorry, I gotta meet Wendy. 215 00:15:12,193 --> 00:15:16,783 You can't. Poor Ike must be so scared, up there all alone. Help me. 216 00:15:16,963 --> 00:15:21,523 Like Chef says, "I'm getting a piece of loving while the getting's hot." 217 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:22,693 Rats! 218 00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:27,263 - Hello, Eric. - Hi, Mom. 219 00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:30,563 - How are you doing? - Well, I'm pissed off. 220 00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:34,203 Here, I made you powdered-doughnut pancake surprise. 221 00:15:34,383 --> 00:15:38,183 I don't want it! All the kids in school call me fat. 222 00:15:38,353 --> 00:15:41,543 - You're not fat, you're big-boned. - That's what I said. 223 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:44,813 You can have an eensy-weensy bit, can't you? 224 00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:48,893 - Just a weensy-eensy woo-woo? - No. Leave me alone, Mom. 225 00:15:49,063 --> 00:15:52,623 How about a nice chocolate chicken potpie then? 226 00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,693 Well, that does sound pretty good. 227 00:15:56,063 --> 00:15:58,003 - Mom? - Yes, hon? 228 00:15:58,173 --> 00:16:01,403 If anybody calls or visits, I'm not here, okay? 229 00:16:01,573 --> 00:16:06,033 - Sure. You want some Cheesy Poofs too? - Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs. 230 00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:12,343 She's not coming. Let's look for the visitors. 231 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:16,073 - But her note said she'd be here. - Hi, Stan. 232 00:16:16,683 --> 00:16:21,783 - He throws up when you talk to him. - But why, Stan? 233 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:25,593 Would you get down to business so we can find Ike? 234 00:16:25,763 --> 00:16:29,293 - Make sweet love by the fire. - What happened to Ike? 235 00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:31,493 As UFO sightings increase... 236 00:16:31,673 --> 00:16:36,193 ...more mysterious crop-circle patterns are appearing in fields. 237 00:16:36,373 --> 00:16:40,833 These crop circles, when viewed from above, form strange patterns. 238 00:16:41,013 --> 00:16:44,073 Hey, that kind of looks like Tom Selleck. 239 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:49,053 Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us on Earth? 240 00:16:52,423 --> 00:16:55,323 No, Kitty, this is my potpie. 241 00:16:55,493 --> 00:16:59,863 No, Kitty, you bad kitty. No, Kitty, this is my potpie! 242 00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:03,093 Mom! Kitty's being a dildo! 243 00:17:03,263 --> 00:17:08,793 Then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight. 244 00:17:09,573 --> 00:17:10,903 What?! 245 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,913 I have to go home without him, and my parents will kill me. 246 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,513 - Why don't you get the fat kid? - Why? 247 00:17:17,683 --> 00:17:21,313 If the fat kid has something implanted in his ass... 248 00:17:21,483 --> 00:17:24,383 ...maybe he's a part of the visitors' plan. 249 00:17:24,553 --> 00:17:27,823 Use the fat kid as bait to bring them back. 250 00:17:27,993 --> 00:17:31,823 You're right. Come on, Stan. We have to get Cartman. 251 00:17:31,993 --> 00:17:34,153 Come on, Stan. 252 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:38,263 Hey, wait. When do I get to make sweet love? 253 00:17:42,773 --> 00:17:45,203 No, Kitty, you can't have any! 254 00:17:46,073 --> 00:17:50,173 No, Kitty, this is my potpie! Bad kitty! 255 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,913 Excuse me, Kitty. 256 00:17:53,253 --> 00:17:56,383 - Eric, look who's here. - Good work, Mom! 257 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:59,753 - Let's play at the bus stop. - I can't, Mom says... 258 00:17:59,923 --> 00:18:03,583 That's okay. You need to spend time with your friends. 259 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:07,193 - But I don't want to spend time... - Don't be difficult! 260 00:18:07,363 --> 00:18:12,393 - Now, you go and play in the fun snow. - Goddamn it! 261 00:18:14,043 --> 00:18:17,733 - I have to get home. - Don't be such a fraidy cat. 262 00:18:17,913 --> 00:18:21,863 This rope will make sure they can't take you onboard again. 263 00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:25,243 - This sucks! - How come they aren't coming? 264 00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:28,313 I think we have to signal them somehow. 265 00:18:29,023 --> 00:18:30,953 Hey, he's like Rudolph. 266 00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:35,523 All you have to do is fart and the visitors are sure to come. 267 00:18:35,693 --> 00:18:39,723 Really? I don't think I have to fart anymore tonight. 268 00:18:39,893 --> 00:18:42,293 - Sure, you do. - Come on, fart! 269 00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:45,263 - I don't wanna! - He can't hold it in forever. 270 00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:48,493 - Fart, damn you! - Okay, that does it! 271 00:18:48,673 --> 00:18:52,263 Why is it that everything today has involved things... 272 00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:55,713 ...either going in or coming out of my ass? 273 00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:58,673 I'm sick of it! It's completely immature! 274 00:18:58,853 --> 00:19:00,643 It's happening again. 275 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,243 - Whoa, look at that. - Now do you believe us? 276 00:19:06,423 --> 00:19:09,653 You can't scare me. You're making it all up. 277 00:19:09,823 --> 00:19:13,923 There's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass! 278 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,323 Sure, you guys, whatever. 279 00:19:18,173 --> 00:19:22,233 Oh, boy, the aliens are going to make first contact. 280 00:19:22,403 --> 00:19:26,933 Hey! Down here! We are ready for your wisdom. 281 00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:32,003 And you only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on! 282 00:19:32,183 --> 00:19:36,743 You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now. 283 00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:39,723 I know there's no such thing as aliens! 284 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,223 Oh, goddamn it! 285 00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:49,393 What the...? I tell you, there's crazy stuff going on in this town. 286 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,293 You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. 287 00:19:52,473 --> 00:19:56,133 Come down here, you stinking aliens! 288 00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,843 Ask them for your little brother back. 289 00:20:01,013 --> 00:20:05,973 Visitors, you took my brother. He's freckled and looks like a football. 290 00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:10,353 At first I was happy you took him, but I've learned something: 291 00:20:10,523 --> 00:20:13,153 Having a little brother is special. 292 00:20:13,323 --> 00:20:16,763 Heck, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world. 293 00:20:16,923 --> 00:20:20,833 If you can find it in your hearts to give my brother back... 294 00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:23,523 ...it would make my life brighter again. 295 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:25,393 That was beautiful. 296 00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:27,333 - Did it work? - No. 297 00:20:27,503 --> 00:20:31,343 You scrawny-assed sh**! What the f*** is wrong with you? 298 00:20:31,513 --> 00:20:35,373 You must be some kind of f* * * to ignore a crying child! 299 00:20:35,543 --> 00:20:39,603 You know what you f***ing like? You like to f***! 300 00:20:42,183 --> 00:20:44,713 Hey, Wendy, what's a f***? 301 00:20:47,893 --> 00:20:52,953 Ike, jump down! Now! For the love of God, Ike, jump! 302 00:20:53,133 --> 00:20:54,293 Don't hurt me. 303 00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:14,143 I promise I'll be nice to you from now on. 304 00:21:14,323 --> 00:21:16,013 Don't kick the baby. 305 00:21:22,023 --> 00:21:23,823 What are they talking about? 306 00:21:38,913 --> 00:21:42,813 Ike, do your impersonation of David Caruso's career! 307 00:21:42,983 --> 00:21:44,743 It's my turn. 308 00:21:56,993 --> 00:22:00,833 You guys, get me down from here! 309 00:22:01,903 --> 00:22:04,833 Help! Sons of bitches! 310 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:06,973 Dildo! 311 00:22:07,903 --> 00:22:12,533 - I'm sure glad that's over with. - Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike! 312 00:22:12,713 --> 00:22:14,703 She's fly at the sky. 313 00:22:15,113 --> 00:22:18,743 Wait! Where are you going, alien visitors? Come back! 314 00:22:18,913 --> 00:22:22,443 Where's this amazing thing you were gonna show us? 315 00:22:22,623 --> 00:22:25,413 It's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in. 316 00:22:25,593 --> 00:22:28,053 We can make it in time for dinner. 317 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,253 - Thanks for helping. - Whatever. 318 00:22:30,423 --> 00:22:32,923 - Hey, I didn't throw up. - Cool. 319 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,803 Sorry. 320 00:22:42,973 --> 00:22:45,403 - Hey, look, a French fry. - Cool. 321 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,443 - What's that? - It's part of a Cheesy Poof. 322 00:22:48,613 --> 00:22:51,583 - Hey, what's that? - That's a hamburger. 323 00:22:51,753 --> 00:22:55,083 - That's from two days ago! - What about that? 324 00:22:55,253 --> 00:22:56,553 I don't know. 325 00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:01,383 The bus will be here. Cartman's still gone. 326 00:23:01,563 --> 00:23:03,653 We're running out of friends. 327 00:23:03,823 --> 00:23:06,693 I wonder what the visitors gave the cows? 328 00:23:09,603 --> 00:23:14,123 Cows, I got you cornered. Let's see you get away now. 329 00:23:24,913 --> 00:23:26,143 Hey, Cartman. 330 00:23:26,313 --> 00:23:30,043 The visitors dropped you off just in time for school. 331 00:23:30,223 --> 00:23:34,453 - I had a crazy nightmare last night. - Really? What about? 332 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,153 Well, I was standing out in a field. 333 00:23:37,323 --> 00:23:40,763 I had this satellite dish sticking out of my butt... 334 00:23:40,933 --> 00:23:43,423 ...and then there were cows and aliens. 335 00:23:43,603 --> 00:23:47,163 Then I went on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye. 336 00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:49,703 That wasn't a dream. That happened. 337 00:23:49,873 --> 00:23:54,603 - Right. Why don't I have pinkeye then? - You do have pinkeye! 338 00:23:54,783 --> 00:23:57,113 Son of a bitch! 27087

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