Original subtitles

Oh, Billy!

You're Thor!

Hey there, little girl.

What's with the grim face?

It's just, it's just, ever since I've turned mutant, I can't hold on to a

boyfriend. Every time I touch them, they either die or just run away.

Well, maybe that's because you need, you know, a real man. You know, like, like

a god.

Well, you're a god.

But I'm not talking about me.

I'm talking about a man your size.

I mean, I need a woman that can hold my hammer.

So what, you don't think I'm good enough? I can hold that hammer.

Sure, give it a try.

I knew you couldn't lift that hammer.

Easy.

I don't want to give up.

I don't want to give up so easily.

You're mine.

Fucking bullshit.

That fucking perfect cough I

don't know what you taste like on the inside

Oh my God.

Yeah, that's my fucking cock. Yeah, I'm gonna do whatever I want with it. You

know, I'm gonna fuck that dick. Don't let it seal up my fucking dick.

Oh, right there.

Oh,

fuck yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. It's so wet.

Oh, my acid on that dick. Fucking cock.

Mmm.

Yes, I love it. I love it deep inside of me. It's so fucking good.

Oh, yes.

Yes, let me fuck you. Let me fuck that nice God cock.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes. Oh.

Oh. Fuck.

Shit. Oh, fuck. I'm so fucking close. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Oh, fuck. Yes. Yes. Oh, I missed your hammer.

Yeah. Yes.

I missed that fucking hammer.

Oh, shit. Yes.

Yes. Take these clothes off.

Do whatever you want to me.

Oh, fuck yeah, take it.

I'm gonna fucking piss you.

Yeah.

Make that cock feel so fucking good.

Fuck yes.

Oh my god.

Oh, fuck this.

Yeah.

Yeah, make me cream all over that fat fucking dick.

Yes. Just like that, so deep.

Every interview.

I needed.

Oh, shit.

Oh,

shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

You guys make me fucking cum like that. Make me fucking cum like that. So

fucking close.

Fucking close.

Oh my god, here it comes. Here it fucking comes. Yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

You're so lucky. That's your second cup.

Oh, my God. It tastes so fucking good.

Your second cup. You want me to fuck you? Yes, yes.

Oh, you know I'd do anything.

I'd do anything for that cup.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

no.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes.

Oh, my God. It was like in bed.

That's what we have here.

Please,

please make my person fucking calm. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. There you go.

There you go.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Don't stop.

Don't stop. Keep going.

Yeah, I want that fucking cum every last fucking drop.

Oh shit.

I want that fucking cum. I want to taste it.

I want to taste that fucking sweat. I want to taste that fucking cum so bad.

I want it.

I want it.

I want it.

I want it. I want it.

I want it.

Oh, yes.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God, that's so beautiful.

Let me read that. Let me read that.

Look at the last drop.

Ugh!

Come on, we can come to some sort of agreement here, right?

Okay, I guess you're not the simple type.

Who told you about the tube of life?

Is that what this is?

Huh, I'll be damned.

So how's it work?

You shove it up your ass and boom, life happens?

Shut up! Shut up!

Who are you?

Dude, I'm nobody, man. I'm just a scavenger. I didn't even know what this

was. I don't believe you!

Give me the tube of life!

You sure you want to jam this up your ass?

Doesn't go up your ass, idiot.

Tight hole?

Yes, no, I don't know.

No, your asshole's not tight or no, it doesn't fit?

Yes, no, I don't know.

Shut up!

Give me the tooth now or die!

Okay, okay.

Alright guys, remember...

When you were asking me who I was.

Alright, well I'm hard lord. And this tube's getting hard for you.

Not that tube.

This tube.

Hey.

Hey.

How'd it go in there?

Oh, you're okay.

I know.

Holy shit, you've heard of me?

No.

I heard you screaming in there that I'm the hard lord.

The hardest lord of them all.

Look, lady, no matter how far you shove that thing up your ass, it's not going

to give you life, right?

Well, I guess you must have tried it.

Stop!

Oh, come on.

You know I was just playing with you.

Sure you were.

Lighten up a little.

All right.

Work together on this. We can split the profits. 80 -20.

60 -40! 50 -50!

And I get your... Deal.

Ready?

Are you ready for me, Lord?

Thank you.

Thank you.

hurt you if you just come out and unlock the door just tell her we know what

kids are at you know this girl no dipshit but it'll make her open it up

this is taking too long hurry up and oh

Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!

Get out of the

car! Now!

Where's the fucking keys?

Hurry up and start the car! Let's go! Let's go!

Start the car, motherfucker!

Let's get out of here! It's not fucking starting!

Oh my god!

What the fuck?

No! What are you waiting for?

Come on, buddy. Out of the car.

Shazam, motherfucker!

We're so fucked!

Look at this.

I can handle this guy, Frank. I can handle him, too, thank you very much.

take out it. This is my neighborhood.

Well, then why is this scumbag still standing?

There. Happy?

I'd like to be 100 % sure.

Thank

you guys

so much.

Who are you guys?

Well, I'm Captain Marvelous, here to protect from all of the alien races that

are here to harm us.

What?

That's my name.

Originally, Captain Marvelous. I even have a whole Marvelous family of

sidekicks.

That is ridiculous.

What do you mean that was your name?

Well, the whole legal dispute I don't want to get into. But I own that shit,

right? And I'm so awesome, I needed two names.

Captain Marvelous and Shazam.

More like Suzanne.

No, Shazam. Like, fucking magic.

Well, I am Captain Marvelous.

And by the looks of this outfit, it's very far from Marvelous.

Listen, I'll have you know this outfit cost like a million dollars.

Allegedly.

But, I mean, what are you even doing here anyway? Aren't you, like, the alien

lady?

I heard a woman in distress. I came to save her.

You're not here in time.

Yeah, well, that's because three crimes is my thing.

And it's different, all right?

And besides, I was trying to, like, make an entrance, okay?

I can fly, too. It just gets boring. There you go.

See? I take from the rich and I give to the poor.

Yeah, no, more like you're jacking shit all day.

And that's from... No, Captain Marvelous, which is me.

Look, let's resettle this right now.

Small zaps only, no flying.

Let's go.

All right.

Not marvelous, but not bad.

I gotta say, you are booty marvelous.

What do you say some crazy awesome superhero sex?

Fuck yeah.

Let's go.

way better.

You're so hot.

Bye. Bye.

See, you are... Oh, wow.

That's real magical.

That's my real superpower.

Feel good like that.

Feel good.

Oh, my.

Something else.

Thank you.

What the...

Oh, no.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

Nice.

Oh,

what a nice big load.

Not bad.

Not marvelous, but not bad.

Oh, that was marvelous. Yes, I know. So marvelous.