Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

You all right? Come on.

Here, drink.

Thank you, David.

- Have some more. - I'm good.

- I got it. It's good. - Okay.

You okay?

No. I'm old, and I didn't sign up for this crap.

Are you trying to get in shape?

What?

You out running?

Oh, yeah, just went for a jog.

How far?

I don't know. I wasn't keeping track.

Oh, come on, man. I need stats.

I wasn't keeping a tab or anything, Dad.

Just trying to get the blood flowing.

Find my lung over there?

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, this just comes and goes.

All right. I'll see you in a little bit, okay?

All right.

- You working? - Yeah.

I'm gonna go by Mrs. Staples.

Then I'm gonna run to Fillmore.

You going to work now?

I'm just going to run a quick errand.

This early?

Yeah, Dad. This early. Stop digging.

They got candy bars wherever it is you're going?

I'm sure they do.

Hey, I'll give you a dollar if you'll pick one up for me.

Candy bars cost a dollar, Dad.

Okay, I'll give you two.

- You know what? - No, I don't know what.

You make dinner tonight, we'll call it even. How's that sound?

Well, that sounds like a good deal.

- Hey, David? - Yeah.

When you get my candy bar,

could you get some steaks for dinner?

Uh, so I'm getting...

the dinner and the candy bar?

Yeah. You're a good son. Almost my favorite.

- Love you, Dad. - See ya.

Hey, Dawnell.

Good morning.

Would you hit me?

Thanks, brother.

Can I get a splash of that, too, when you're done?

I'd really... I'd appreciate it, man. Just, hands are full.

That's good. Hey, thanks again, man.

Hey, David.

How you doing, Jeremy?

Sorry, boys.

Dad!

Hey, Bug!

- Missed you, man. - Where were you?

I'm sorry. I had some work stuff.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey.

Did you get doughnuts?

Oh, I forgot.

- Where's Jess? - She took off with some friends.

Theo! Honey, you forgot your homework. Hey, David.

- Sorry I'm late. - No, no worries.

That's okay. Everything okay?

- Yeah, just work stuff. - Okay.

All right, boys, don't be late.

One more and Principal Andrews

is gonna make me meet him and make a plan.

You got some... There you go. I love you.

Hey, you guys go ahead. I'm gonna talk to Mom for a minute, okay?

- Okay. - All right.

- What's up? - Oh, nothing.

Just want to make sure we're still good for Friday night.

Yeah. Still work for you or you got something?

No, it's good. It's good. I'm looking forward to it.

Yeah, me too.

The boys said Jess took off. She okay?

Just dealing with it all.

I think this stuff is harder on girls.

- You think we're doing the right thing, Niki? - David, I don't know.

Look, the boys are halfway to school.

You with them is the most important thing right now.

- Right, right, I'm sorry. It's just... - Don't be sorry.

We're doing what we discussed and thought was best, and we said we'd see.

So we're seeing.

Dad!

David, I love you, you love me.

We're trying to figure this out.

We can't analyze every step,

and if the boys walk themselves to school, that's on you.

- Hey, Alex. - Yeah?

- What do you call a pile of kittens? - What?

A meow-tain.

- Aw, Dad! - Meow-tain.

- Dad. - Come on.

- That is terrible. - I want new jokes.

New jokes? You guys tell me a joke.

A dog's always in the push-up position.

Mitch Hedberg. Search him up.

Mitch Hedberg? Who's that?

A comedian that's actually good.

Oh, the bus is here.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, boys.

What the hell?

Jess!

Jess!

What are you doing?

Where are you going? Hey!

What are you doing?

Just didn't wanna go to school.

Your jacket's about to fall out of your backpack.

Hey, David.

Hey, Jeremy. Teenager stuff.

Yeah, thought I'd kill mine sometimes.

Hey, well, if you don't see this one the next couple of days,

it'll be our secret.

I got a spot in the back if you need it.

That's a little weird, Jeremy. Thank you, though.

What are you doing?

- Just let go. I'm not five. - You're not five?

I know it's not easy.

Mom's cheating on you.

- No, she's not. - Yeah, she is.

I saw the guy leaving this morning.

Jess, we agreed that we could see other people during this time.

- Oh, so you're just seeing other people too? - It doesn't matter.

It's none of your business what we're doing.

It wasn't supposed to be any of your business.

None of my business? This is my family too.

But, Jess, you're the kid. We're the parents.

We've gotta have time to figure this out.

- That's stupid. - It's not stupid.

Look, there's nothing I can say to you that's not gonna make me out to be a loser dad.

- Don't say that. - You're right, okay?

But I'm not gonna make your mom out to be the villain in this thing.

She's not a bad person.

Look...

Jess, we got married right out of high school,

we had you, then the boys.

We never knew that we were gonna...

question things when we got older.

- That's bullshit. - It is not bull...

You know, I wish somebody would've told me

that it's never gonna stop.

It's never gonna get easy, okay?

You're not gonna just be an adult and all of a sudden,

you don't question anything that happens in life.

We're trying, Jess, but there's no dadgum road map. Okay?

Why can't you guys just be together?

Like Grandma and Grandpa! They've been together for years.

We're trying, Jess.

I promise.

Well, figure your shit out, because it's ruining my life.

You forgot your backpack.

If you want, we can just pretend none of that happened.

You know, you can do it all over again if you want.

Forget the buildup and the drama.

You know, Dad...

you need to fight.

You need to fight for us.

Hey, David.

Hi, Mrs. Allen.

- Morning, Mrs. Staples. - Morning.

How are you?

Well, I can't complain.

Had the grandkids over to the house for the weekend.

That was fun. But it's fun to send them home too.

I'm sure.

- How's your dad? - He's good.

Just farting around, you know. Trying to stay busy.

I keep telling him, we're both lonely widows.

Why not jump in a fox hole together and fool around?

- What does he... Really, you told my dad... - He doesn't mention me?

- It's not that he doesn't mention you... - Ah! I'll leave it there.

Let's get down to business. You mind driving?

No, no, ma'am. Come on.

Gonna head down that road about a mile.

- All right, thank you. - Yes, ma'am.

All right.

This is it in all its glory.

Now I need for you to get rid of it any way you like.

You can sell anything you think has value, pocket the money, no problem.

What do you think?

I don't know, maybe two weeks, we can have, say...

Hundred dollars a day seem fair to you?

Sounds about all right.

Okay.

All right, come on. I'll take you back up to the house.

Oh, no need. I need to exercise. I'll walk back.

You sure?

No, but I figure I'll risk it.

You need anything, you let me know.

Mrs. Staples?

Hmm?

Did you and Tom have a good marriage?

Well, not particularly.

Why?

Ah, just curious if you were happy.

Tom was a good man. I'm a decent woman.

I loved him. He loved me.

But a real marriage, it takes respect over love.

David, love is a feeling, and feelings,

they move in, they move out.

You and Niki will work it out.

Now you get to work.

I'm gonna walk on the left side.

You look as you leave,

in case I'm face down, dead in the gutter.

Yes, ma'am.

Jess!

One minute, Mom.

Ah!

Daddy's here.

Please finish the sandwiches and put those away?

- Home by 9:00, got it? - Got it.

- What's up, boys? - All right, David, let's go.

Hey.

- You ready? - Yeah.

All right, y'all be good for your sister, okay?

- Okay, Dad. - Yeah, sure.

Boys, listen to your sister. Give me a kiss.

I love you.

- Hey, Jess. - Kiss?

Let's go.

- Y'all be good. - Bye, Dad.

I'm sorry about that.

I talked with Jess. She knew. She just wanted to make a fight.

Well, it's hard. It's got to be harder on her,

being older, more aware, you know?

Yeah. Plus she's a teenager. Girls that age...

got their own drama going on.

What's going on?

Oh, just, you know, one day, best friends with someone, next day she wants to end them.

Typical teenage girls.

Oh, right.

You're going proper now?

Unless it's demeaning, then you can open your own door. I certainly don't wanna...

I'll take the gesture.

Thank you.

All right. Here we go.

Hey.

You mind if we stay close?

I had all night planned for tonight.

Jess just hasn't been great,

and I'm nervous with her watching the boys.

The boys can take care of themselves. She has to be there just in case.

I know, but it's just gonna stress me out.

Plus she has that show later with her friends.

We agreed we were gonna make date night a priority.

It is, but we also still have to be parents.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

No, you're right.

Life's still happening, right?

You mind if we just drive around the block

and then come back here, just so they think we've left?

Thank you.

You warm enough?

Yeah. Thank you.

How are things?

Good. Spent the week at Mrs. Staples'.

Nice.

How's your dad?

He's good.

He's funny.

I, uh... It's like the time

between now and high school never happened.

- Yeah? - Yeah, you know,

it's like my chores have just been waiting on me.

So now that I've moved back home,

I'm expected to take out the trash,

cut the grass, dishes, like, whatever.

So, my first night back,

and I can't remember when trash night was.

So, I wake up the next morning. It's not done.

And Dad gives me the exact same lecture

I used to get in high school.

Really?

Yeah. Uh, verbatim.

Except the only difference is,

Mom always used to give it to me,

but now it's Dad, and, I mean,

word for word, the exact same.

- I'll pull up back here so they can't see us. - Yeah, perfect.

Yeah. It's all good.

You think you'll get your own place?

I hope not, Niki.

I mean, what are we doing?

- Am I delusional about this whole thing? - I'm sorry. I misspoke.

I...

Um, David...

I just meant that we could figure it out if we needed,

getting you your own place if it's hard living with your dad, that's all.

No, it's Dad, you know?

I think he likes having me there.

Not walking around the house talking to himself. I mean, he's...

still yelling at the TV, you know, but...

it's a little less weird if I'm there.

So, how's work?

Good.

Some good cases.

Judy's letting me do more work on the cases.

She says I should consider law school...

though she doesn't want to lose me.

You thinking about it?

Kinda.

I don't know. It's only been three months, so we'll see.

I don't know if it's something I'll get bored of once it isn't exciting anymore.

No way you'll get bored, smart as you are.

Heck, I wish I could have had the babies, you know.

Just been a stay-at-home dad.

You could have gone and you'd have made partner by now.

We wouldn't be stressed about money all the time.

We've always had what we needed, David. You've always provided.

So what did you have planned before Jess ruined it?

Oh, save it for another time.

- Come on. - No.

I'll imagine it now and we can do it another time.

I...

Tell me a little, at least.

You know, I, um...

started writing again, you know.

Punk songs?

No, not punk songs again. I can't yell like that anymore.

Just, like, singer-songwriter stuff. You know, no big deal.

Gonna go back on the road?

Yup. Thought about giving it all up.

Loading up the boys, starting a band.

Cruise the countryside,

stop in all the colleges along the way.

Why not? You're still young.

- Okay, well, I gotta hear it. - I'm not gonna play it.

- Come on, babe. - I don't have the guitar or anything.

Well, you don't need the guitar. You just have your voice.

Your voice is just fine.

It's always been the best part. The band just supported it.

I think the band helped cover the flaws.

No.

♪ I've lived my life Painted in a corner ♪

♪ All along believing The ground was wet ♪

♪ And by the time I came to realize ♪

♪ Darling You had already left ♪

♪ I'm a damn fool A damn fool ♪

♪ I am a damn fool ♪

♪ I've had time to think ♪

♪ Ever since You cut me loose ♪

♪ And hell is what I call this time ♪

♪ 'Cause, darling ♪

♪ That's what life is Without you ♪

♪ I'm a damn fool A damn fool ♪

♪ I am a damn fool ♪

♪ Hold me close Though all's gone wrong ♪

♪ Stay close to me ♪

♪ It may be broke But it ain't lost And I know ♪

♪ I know I can fix this ♪

And here's where you repeat the chorus.

Shit, shit, shit.

Hey, buddy, is your mom here?

Oh, hi. Uh...

- Jess, right? - Yeah.

Uh, sorry, thought the little guy was gonna go get your mom.

- She's not home. She's out with my dad. - Oh.

Or, I mean, she's inside taking a shower, you creeper.

I promise I'm not a creeper.

Um, do you know when she'll be back?

Are you a psycho?

Excuse me?

Why do you think I would tell you? I don't even know you.

- No, I know. - Who are you?

I'm just a friend. I work with your mom. I mean, uh...

Yeah, stopping by really late to give her flowers. Real friendly.

My friends do that all the time.

No, I know. Uh, she just...

Your mom got a promotion at work and...

trying to congratulate her.

Yeah, that doesn't make it any less weird.

Listen, she goes to work on Monday,

so if you guys work together,

you can give her the flowers yourself.

Actually, do you mind giving them to her?

Can't you give them to her at work?

Yeah, but I'd rather she had them fresh.

Fine.

Thank you.

Nice meeting you.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that he was gonna...

No, look, we made...

Made an agreement, and, uh...

Hey, congratulations on the promotion.

Yeah, thanks.

- Are you seeing anyone? - I'd like to...

What's his name?

Derek.

We don't work together.

- We just work in the same building. - You don't have to...

Yeah.

Kill it!

Hide the evidence!

We raised some good ones.

They're worth it, Niki.

- They're worth us trying. - I know.

- It's Jess. - Yup.

I should get back inside.

Hey.

Can, um...

Can we try this again sometime?

Of course.

Next time, though, a guitar needs to accompany that song.

Agreed.

Good night.

David! How'd it go?

David!

You done?

I'm losing her, Dad.

Let me see those.

They're fine.

Why don't you come downstairs? We'll clean those up.

Theo! Alex!

What are you doing here?

Yeah, it's so late.

I didn't get to say bye, so I wanted to come by and say good night and I love you.

Okay. Love you too.

Where's Bug?

Sleeping with Mom.

Okay.

Hey. So I saw this wino

on the street the other day and he was eating a grape.

And I was like, "Hey, dude."

What's a wino?

It's like a, uh...

You know, like a homeless guy that drinks a lot of wine.

All right.

So, no matter how good I get at tennis,

I'll never be as good as a wall.

That was not good.

Better jokes, Dad.

Look, if I had nine fingers cut off,

I wouldn't be any worse at typing.

Hey, don't shut... What are you talking about?

This is your guy. I looked him up on Netflix.

Seriously?

Yes, it's the Mitch Hedberg guy.

Yeah, but you, like, picked all the dark chocolates in there.

What are you talking about? You said the other day, you were like,

"A dog is always in the push-up position."

- Yeah, but that's funny. - That's not funny.

It is really funny.

That's really funny, but the guy...

Tennis against the wall is not funny?

That's not funny at all.

Whatever.

You can't be good at tennis,

but not beat yourself in tennis.

The point is, it's like the wall. Like, you can't...

The wall's gonna send it in any direction.

- Yeah, I got that one. - Okay.

It wasn't funny.

Hey, you wanna climb out and look at the stars?

It's 4:00.

It's not 4:00.

Okay, then, it's like 2:00 in the morning.

All right.

Y'all go to sleep.

- Love you, Dad. - I love you too.

All right, get in.

Go get in bed.

Night.

Hey, tell Bug and Jess I love them, okay?

Okay.

Hey, David.

- Hey. - Hey.

Did you wake the boys up last night and talk to them?

What?

Alex told me you were telling him and Theo

Mitch Hedberg jokes.

Oh, yeah.

I couldn't sleep last night and the boys have been telling me

to look up this guy's stuff, so I did.

I just went over there to share some of the funny ones with them.

Do you think that was a good idea?

What, you think it was a bad one?

I think it's a little confusing.

What's confusing about it?

I don't know, their dad knocking on their window at 4:00 in the morning?

No, no, no. It was 2:30.

And if I'd have... No, no, hold on, Niki.

If I'd have woken up... If I was living in the house

and I'd gone in there and got the boys up to tell 'em a joke,

- you wouldn't have a problem, so why do you have one now? - It's not about the jokes.

- Then what is it about? - Are you kidding me?

Am I kidding you?

You're gonna come over here now and give me crap,

when I'm living with my dad and you're in there with the boys?

Oh, my God.

You've gotta be sensitive to the fact that I don't get to spend time with them.

So I gotta sneak over there

and tell them something in the middle of the night

and you hear about it at breakfast...

You are not the only one. Fuck you.

Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

- You think... - You hear that? There we go.

Oh, my...

Do you think breakfast is like Leave It to Beaver or something? You think...

Hold... Look... Can you look at me?

You think... You think they were telling on you?

I don't know. I'm not in the house.

They weren't, okay? They were excited, like it was a good thing, okay?

Like, they were happy about it.

You're out of the house and you're still cool to them.

Don't fucking charge at me like that.

You're right. It won't happen again. My apologies.

David, come on, stop. We need to talk about this.

We already talked about it.

David, can you stop the truck, please?

- What are you doing? What are you doing? - Can you stop the truck?

Fucking David.

Hi, how are you doing today?

- Good. - Great.

You find everything okay?

- Yeah, just looking. - All right.

Well, let me know if you need a hand with anything.

Anything I can do, just holler...

- Hey! - Dad!

What's up, buddy?

Hi!

How are you?

Good. Can we climb in the back?

Hey, hey, no, no, don't get in the back.

You can get back there, but do not go through those bags

and do not look under the blanket.

- Hey. - Could we slide down in there?

Climb in over here. The door's broken.

Could we ride in the back?

No, you can't ride in the back.

Give me a kiss. Come on.

Just get in and go, please, and get this over with?

You can if you pay the toll.

I'm not gonna pay the toll, Dad.

What is going on?

- Load up. Let's go. - Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

- Drop it. - Something is going on.

Stop, stop, stop.

Whee!

Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.

If you want me to come, you'll drop it.

Just leave me alone.

All right, scrunch in.

Scrunch in, find your place.

Guys.

Jess doesn't want to sit in the center.

Come on. Sit down.

Fine.

- Who's ready for adventure? - Yeah, where are we going?

We're going to the park.

- Wait, what's in the back? - What?

- Hey, there's a surprise... - Oh!

- ...at the park, not just the park. - Oh.

What if someone steals the surprise? What if they take it?

- How are they gonna take the prize? - It's in the back.

You said it's at the park, though.

No, it's in the back, covered up in the blanket.

That's why I don't want you guys messing around back there.

All right, how was school?

- Awesome. - Mmm, good.

Oh, did I get "awesome" and "good"?

Good. Kinda nice.

- I just hate math. - Why do you hate math?

Math is the only thing that ruins the school.

I love math.

- See? - You're one of the smart people.

- Is art the best? - No.

You like art?

- Art's good, right? - Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, art's good.

- That's your favorite, right, Bug? - Yeah.

- Has he got something on his face? - No.

Art, theater, music.

Oh, you bust your noggin?

- Yeah. - Running.

- You all right? - Yeah.

- Was that today? - Yeah.

I ran a mile today.

Oh, yeah? What was your time on the mile?

Um, I think it's a ten, but I was in front of everybody.

- Oh, nice. - It was pretty good.

That's good. How about you? Did you run it?

No.

Why?

I don't like running.

- Wow. - I would run.

I would run it.

I would run it.

- How was school for you? - I don't know.

How was music and art

and recess, all the fun stuff?

Well, I have, like, hardly any time with recess.

Well...

Recess is the best.

I have so many friends. Tyson...

What do you guys play when you're at recess?

- Zombie. - You play Zombie?

We play, like, zombies.

Oh, wait. Zombies, like, where you shoot zombies?

Yeah, there's these kids who act like zombies,

then you get to be a citizen or a shooter.

I mainly be a citizen.

Oh, no, I be a shooter, actually.

Yeah.

Jess, how about you? How was school?

Just great.

Who in the vehicle felt sarcasm from the last statement?

That was sarcasm!

That's just, like, a tiny bit or a whole lot?

- No, a whole lot. - A whole lot.

- That was sarcasm. The whole thing. - Yeah.

It's sarcasm.

It was nothing that...

It was definitely good.

It was sarcasm!

Hey, Jess, you can't have a bad time today.

I dare you to not have fun.

- That's not the point. - Try me.

It's the park and there's a surprise.

- What's the point? - I can't wait. I love surprises!

What do you mean, what's the point?

What's the point of someone,

like, doing a surprise for you,

but then you're like, "No, I hated it"?

- All right, you ready? - Yeah.

All right, here... Here's this bag.

- Oh! - What do you got in there? What is that?

I don't know.

What's on the pictures?

Maybe...

Oh, yeah!

Come on, let's go launch them.

- See this little track? - Whoa, that looks cool.

All right? All right, see a slide down on there?

Okay, and then we're gonna clamp, go one...

But what happens when, like, they're going high?

So there's this little bit of...

There's this little engine that's inside there.

So, what, it puts those off?

Come here. Yeah, it'll shoot it.

So we're gonna stick this button in here, okay,

and then you hold that button. Okay.

Say, "Houston, we're ready for takeoff"!

Ten, nine, eight, seven...

Whoa!

All right.

Boo!

All right, go get it, go get it.

All right, come back, come back, come back, come back.

- I want mine next! - You wanna do yours next?

I'm going next, actually.

All right, let's go.

Come on.

Yeah, we'll pack it all back in there

and put another motor in it.

- Okay, could I do one? - Okay.

Yeah, you wanna pitch it? So, here you go.

- Whoa, it all makes... - All right.

All right, here you go. Just pitch 'em on there.

Good job.

- Do that one. - But does it...

Oh, you could hear a buzz.

Uh-huh.

There you go.

Oh, mine doesn't...

Okeydokey.

- Go there. Got mine... - Get this...

Good job. We gotta get it right on the ends there.

- There we go. - Okay.

All right, you grab your controller.

Okay, where is it?

- You see it? - Right here.

All right, everybody back up.

All right. Okay.

Ten, nine... You do this button right here.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!

- Whoa! - Catch it!

All right, try to catch it, try to catch it.

Hey, Jess, you want to do yours?

Come on. Come on.

- Hey! Alex, you okay if Jess goes? - Yeah.

All right, let's see the big one.

Let's get the big boy.

Let's get the big boy! All right.

- You want to hook it up? - Okay.

All right, come on. Here you go.

How do you do it?

All right, so, we'll take it right here...

- This one's gonna be big. - We'll put this one here,

and we'll put it right here.

All right. All right, boys.

Houston, we are ready for launch.

- I'm gonna count yours. - Okay.

You ready?

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one, go!

Dad, it's not going.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.

All right. Let's go.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three, two, one, go!

- It's not working. It's not working, Dad. - Yeah, no, push this button.

- I clicked the button! - Push this button.

- Hey, hold on. - I hate this!

Hey! Hey! Hey, Jess!

What are you doing?

- Hey! - What you did!

What do you mean, what I did?

You got mad and walked away.

I did not get mad and walk away.

Now don't do this here in front of the boys. Stop it!

That's exactly what you did!

I did not do anything.

You know I'm fighting as hard as I can for this.

I don't want this. You think I want to bring you guys down to a park on Saturday?

Come on!

I don't wanna do this.

I'm sorry.

It sucks for everybody.

I promise, though, I'm trying.

Take me home.

Come on. Let's just try to fix this up.

No, I wanna go home.

Hey, I'm sorry.

- Hey, next time, okay? You get to go next time. - Okay.

All right. Come on, let's get our stuff.

Let's get our stuff.

Could we keep the parachute?

Yeah, you can keep the parachute.

You can keep the whole rocket.

Can we hang them up on our wall?

Yeah, we'll hang them up inside your room. That sound good?

Yeah.

- Thank you, Dad. - Hey, that was so awesome

when it went up, though, wasn't it?

Jess. Jess!

I hate this!

All right, here. I was gonna save these

till after we launched the rockets.

Pick your flavor.

All right. There you go.

Hey.

What's going on?

Hey, Mom, Dad got us rockets and Jess broke hers

and Alex didn't get to shoot one.

That's pretty play-by-play.

Hey, boys, why don't you run in the house quick and let me talk to Mom?

- Are we gonna stay the night? - Yeah.

Just let me talk to Mom and then we'll head out.

Hey, why don't you guys go to the Thompsons?

I saw the boys on their bikes earlier.

- Yeah? - That sound like a good idea?

- Okay. - All right. Go see the Thompson boys.

We'll call you.

Come on.

- Bye, Buggy. - Bye.

What's up?

What do you mean?

Jess was pissed when I picked up the kids.

- She was? - Yeah.

Okay. I asked her not to be.

What does that mean, you asked her not to be?

A bunch of her friends were going to a show tonight,

and she really wanted to go.

- And? - And I told her she couldn't 'cause it's your time with them.

Are you serious?

What, David?

- What do you mean, "What, David?" - It's true.

But you can't keep doing this.

You can't tell her that she can't do something.

It implies that if it wasn't for me,

you wouldn't have a problem with it.

- But I wouldn't. - It doesn't matter if you would or wouldn't.

When you say no, it's making this time with me negative.

That's all she's associating it with.

So tell her she... Make up some excuse, say whatever it is.

I will not teach our children how to lie, David.

Then tell her that it's my decision.

Say, "Go ask your dad," so that I can decide.

I can make that decision, Niki.

I don't have to have you do it for me.

You gotta be sensitive to how we talk to the kids.

This is hard enough as it is. You're not being nice or considerate.

- I'm sorry, okay? - Are you?

I didn't even think about it. It just sort of slipped out,

because if she was home with me, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

But then I remembered that you had them...

David, this is new.

This is my family, Niki.

- I know. - Do you?

'Cause if you're not thinking about this all the time,

then you need to cut me loose.

Because I think about it all fucking day.

This is hard.

So, if you can't find some way to be considerate

and we can't find a dialogue, then you move out,

and you take them on the weekends,

because I only agreed to do this because you promised me

that we were going to work through this.

This is hard enough being away from you, but when I gotta...

David, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Look at me. Look at me. I fucked up, okay?

I'm sorry. Okay?

- Everything okay out here? - It's just hard.

Yeah, we're fine.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know you were coming back. - You kidding me?

I come pick up the kids, and you're gonna have

a fuck fest in my house with this guy?

David, that's not what is going on, okay?

We all right here?

- Yeah. - Yeah, we're good.

You sure? Really doesn't sound like it.

Just having a conversation about our kids, man,

so if you could just go somewhere, take a walk or something, man,

I'd really appreciate it.

I think maybe I should be a part of the conversation, don't you think?

Uh... Are you serious with this guy?

Don't talk about me like I'm not here.

Then don't stand here and try to have...

- Like you have any value in this conversation. - It's fine. We're fine.

I'm fine. We're okay. Just go in the house.

I'm talking about our children, our family, our marriage.

So just get out of here, man.

I don't think so.

Look, I think maybe it's important

that I be a part of it at this point.

It's not important.

You have zero value in this conversation.

- Go somewhere... - I don't appreciate how you're talking to my girlfriend.

- Your girlfriend? - Yes.

- This is my wife. My wife! - Okay, okay, okay.

- You know what that means? - Hey, hey!

That is my house you're staying in.

- David, take a breath. - Mine!

- You understand that? - Derek, let's go. Okay?

You're a pathetic piece of garbage.

- You just prey on women... - Okay, take a breath.

You can't find single women that you can hang out with?

- Derek, just go in the house. - You got no game? Huh?

You gotta come round here, somebody's trying to work through their marriage issues

and swoop in on people that are vulnerable?

You're a fucking leech.

You're a bottom feeder, you piece of fucking shit.

Take a breath, David. Take a breath.

Derek, come on, just go in the house.

I'm sorry, I can't at this point.

If you give us a minute, we could probably work this out.

Derek, I promise you, we don't need a minute.

- That's the last thing we need. - I'd appreciate it if you went inside, Niki.

Dave, please just go. Go. Okay?

- You feel like a big dick standing in front of my house? - Okay, stop.

With my wife and kids? You feel tough?

David, get in your truck and go.

I'm not leaving without the kids.

Derek, let's go in the house.

So you and your fucking boyfriend can do...

David, get in your truck and leave!

I'm not leaving. I'm waiting for the kids.

Call Mrs. Thompson, tell her to send the boys down.

Tell Jess to grab her crap. Let's go.

You think that's a good idea?

It's happening.

I don't care if it's a good idea or a bad idea.

- David, I will bring them by in ten minutes. - I'm not leaving.

- Niki, give us a minute and everything will be fine. - Derek, stop.

We don't need a minute, Derek.

I can promise you the last thing we need is a fucking minute.

Go get Jesse and the boys

and by the time you get back,

we will have this figured out.

What do you say, dude?

I say you can go fuck yourself.

All right, wait, guys. You know what, listen.

I think this is... I think this is getting a little crazy, all right?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize.

That's not me. You know that.

David, you too, man.

I'm sorry, all right?

I am new to this dynamic.

I think that we all are.

And I realize that I am forcing myself in,

but I think that that is a natural thing to want to do

with somebody that I care about as much as her.

Hey, my man. Right here. Look. No disrespect, okay?

I get that I got in the middle of something.

This thing got nothing to do with you, buddy.

It's much bigger than you. You need to get the heck out of here.

- He doesn't listen. - It doesn't matter.

David and I need to talk about this, figure it out.

If I'm gonna be here for any length of time,

we need to start off on the right foot.

I promise, we don't need to start off on the right foot, okay?

We'll get there, okay? Just go get Jesse and the boys

and by the time you get them back here,

me and him, we will work this out, I promise you that.

That okay with you, David?

Whatever gets the kids in the truck,

I'm so happy with.

Cool. Okay. You can call...

Niki can call, she can stop by your dad's later,

and you guys can work your thing out...

I don't care what she does. Just get the kids.

I mean, what is it, 100 yards?

You can go by later.

You guys can work your thing out after we work our thing out.

- I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry. It's okay.

This sort of thing happens.

I don't know, what did you hope to accomplish?

No, I know.

I'm a piece of garbage, huh? Is that right?

You are a pile of garbage, David.

You don't deserve that woman.

David! David!

David, stop!

David!

Are you okay? Breathe, David.

I'm here.

I don't know what to do.

- I love you. - I don't know what to do.

- I love you so much. - I love you.

- Hey, hey, y'all go put those things up. - Come on!

Hey, don't touch unless we bought it.

- With your eyes, not your hands. - Can we buy 'em?

- Hey, babe? - No, we can't buy 'em.

- Huh? - What do you think of these?

What's wrong with the ones we got?

Nothing. It's just, these are smart.

It's an upgrade.

Smart?

Can I help you guys with anything?

Just looking at your washers.

I was telling my husband everything's moving to smart now.

That's very much true.

Can you tell him what that means?

Yeah, definitely.

Uh, well, this specific machine,

it's got a weight sensor in the washer

so it can tell how big the load is,

and then it can use that to decide

how much liquid soap to put in for the best clean.

But I thought that's what that little...

Like, the little cup that goes at the top of the...

Oh, yeah, of course. But this way, you can just load the soap

and you don't have to worry about putting the soap in yourself.

The coolest thing about this one, though,

is that it will send you a text when the wash is done,

so you can stay on top of your laundry.

I imagine with all these kids,

you're always just juggling that.

- Never ends. - Yeah.

Well, did you have any more questions about this one?

Could it fit him in it?

Yeah, probably. This is an extra big, extra large.

Get him!

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

♪ I've lived my life Painted in a corner ♪

♪ All along believing The ground was wet ♪

♪ By the time I came to realize ♪

♪ Darling You'd already left ♪

♪ I'm a damn fool A damn fool ♪

♪ A damn fool ♪

♪ I've had time to think ♪

♪ Ever since You cut me loose ♪

♪ And hell Is what I call this time ♪

♪ 'Cause, darling ♪

♪ That's what life is Without you ♪

♪ I'm a damn fool A damn fool ♪

♪ A damn fool ♪

♪ Hold me close Though all's gone wrong ♪

♪ And stay close to me ♪

♪ It may be broke But it ain't lost ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ That I can fix this ♪

♪ I'm a damn fool A damn fool ♪

♪ A damn fool ♪