Original subtitles

MY NAME IS NATHAN FIELDER

AND I GRADUATED FROM ONE OF CANADA'S TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS

WITH REALLY GOOD GRADES.

NOW, I'M USING MY KNOWLEDGE

TO HELP STRUGGLING SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS

MAKE IT IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD.

THIS IS NATHAN FOR YOU.

OF ALL THE WAYS TO MAKE MONEY WITH DEAD BODIES,

PERHAPS THE MOST POPULAR IS RUNNING A FUNERAL HOME,

AND WITH PEOPLE DYING DAILY

FROM EVERYTHING FROM HEART ATTACKS

TO COLLAPSING DURING A STOCK PHOTO SHOOT,

THE FUNERAL BUSINESS HAS NEVER BEEN MORE PROFITABLE.

JUST ASK CANDY BOYD.

SHE'S BEEN RUNNING BOYD FUNERAL HOME

IN LINWOOD, CALIFORNIA, FOR OVER 15 YEARS,

AND TODAY, I PAID HER A VISIT

WITH AN IDEA TO MAKE HER BUSINESS EVEN BETTER.

UNBEKNOWNST TO CANDY, I WENT BY THE NIGHT BEFORE

IN MY USUAL DISGUISE TO SCOPE THINGS OUT,

BUT MY BEARD WAS COMING LOOSE,

SO I WAS TOO AFRAID TO GO INSIDE,

SO I ENDED UP JUST CHECKING OUT THEIR WEBSITE

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE BUSINESS.

SO BASICALLY, YOUR BUSINESS IS DEATH.

CORRECT. CORRECT.

AND THAT MUST BE BITTERSWEET FOR YOU.

I MUST SAY, IT IS.

- BITTER BECAUSE PEOPLE DIE... - RIGHT.

- AND SWEET... - RIGHT.

BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING MONEY.

- EXACTLY, EXACTLY. - SO IT'S HARD,

BECAUSE YOU MAYBE GET EXCITED WHEN SOMEONE DIES.

- RIGHT, EXACTLY. - BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE,

- "I'M GONNA PROFIT FROM THIS..." - RIGHT, EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

- BUT IT'S SAD BECAUSE, "OH..." - EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

THEY'RE, LIKE, LOSING.

- EXACTLY. - SO IT'S A BALANCE.

IT'S A BALANCE.

MONEY WAS CLEARLY IMPORTANT TO MRS. BOYD,

AND I SAW SHE WAS MISSING OUT ON SOME PROFITABLE SERVICES

TO OFFER HER CUSTOMERS.

THE PLAN--I WANTED HER TO GIVE PEOPLE

THE OPTION OF BUYING MORE FRIENDS.

- BUYING MORE FRIENDS? - BASICALLY,

WHEN YOU DIE, YOU WANT TO HAVE

A LOT OF PEOPLE COME TO YOUR FUNERAL,

BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT YOU'RE WELL-LIKED.

- CORRECT. - SO I THINK YOU SHOULD

GIVE PEOPLE THE OPTION OF PAYING FOR ACTORS

TO BE FAMILY OR FRIENDS AT A FUNERAL.

- OH, I SEE, I SEE. - LIKE, TO FILL THE ROOM.

- DO YOU UNDERSTAND? - YEAH.

AND IT COULD BE A VERY PROFITABLE ADD-ON SERVICE

- TO OFFER TO PEOPLE. - WELL, I MEAN,

IT IS PRETTY INTERESTING. I DON'T KNOW--

I'D LOVE TO DEMONSTRATE FOR YOU WHAT IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE.

OH, SURE. THAT'D BE GREAT.

AND MAYBE THAT WOULD HELP SELL IT TO YOU.

I'M NOT SAYING "NO." LET'S JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS,

AND, YOU KNOW--

TO DEMONSTRATE MY IDEA,

I NEEDED TO ASSEMBLE A DREAM TEAM OF ACTORS

WHO KNOW HOW TO CONDUCT THEMSELVES AT A FUNERAL,

SO I MET WITH SOME PROFESSIONAL ACTORS

TO PICK OUT THE BEST.

THIS WIDOW JUST LOST HER HUSBAND.

- OKAY. - SO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER.

I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR LOSS.

AND MAYBE YOU'D HUG HER AND KISS HER.

PLEASE CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

SO YOU CAN DO A LOT OF DIALECTS, YOU WROTE.

YES, I PICK UP PEOPLE'S LANGUAGES

WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. I DON'T MEAN TO, I--

IT SAYS "CANADIAN" YOU CAN DO?

CANADIAN, UM...

CANADIAN IS A LOT LIKE BRITISH.

- I'M CANADIAN. - ARE YOU CANADIAN?

- YEAH. - WELL, YOU SOUND NORMAL.

A CHILD IS RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE AISLES

DURING THE SERVICE. HOW DO YOU HANDLE THIS?

YOU ARE A LITTLE! JUST GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT,

OR I'M GONNA TELL YOUR PARENTS!

I AM SEAN CONNERY.

I WANT A MASSAGE.

I LIVE UP IN THE DESERT.

NOW THAT I HAD SELECTED MY ACTORS,

I WANTED TO DEMONSTRATE FOR CANDY

WHAT A FUNERAL SERVICE WITH FAKE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

MIGHT LOOK LIKE,

SO SPENT THE NIGHT WRITING A SCRIPT

FOR THE FUNERAL OF A FAKE DEAD GUY

AND SENT IT TO ALL THE ACTORS.

THE NEXT DAY, WE ARRIVED AT THE FUNERAL HOME

REHEARSED AND IN WARDROBE,

AND WITH THE ACTORS IN PLACE,

IT WAS TIME TO BRING IN MRS. BOYD.

THE WOMAN IN THE BLACK HAT

- IS THE WIDOW. - MM-HMM, THE WIDOW.

AND SHE HIRED SEVEN ACTORS

TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THAT MAN WHO JUST DIED,

WHO'S GETTING IN THE CASKET, WAS MORE LOVED THAN HE WAS.

- OKAY. - OKAY,

AND I THINK WE'RE READY TO BEGIN.

WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO REMEMBER SID HOWARD DOUBLETREE,

AND IF THE ATTENDANCE TODAY IS ANY INDICATION,

SID WAS A VERY LOVED MAN.

WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS?

SID WAS SUCH A GOOD GUY.

HE ONCE GAVE ME $1,000 FOR NO REASON.

I'M SO SAD. I AM SO SAD.

I AM SO SAD.

I AM SO...SAD.

I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE.

ME AND SID WERE LOVERS.

WE'VE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS.

I KNEW IT!

EVERY NIGHT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO 7-ELEVEN, HE WAS WITH YOU!

- I'M SORRY. - WE CANNOT BE MAD.

SID WAS CURSED...

CURSED WITH THE GIFT OF HAVING TOO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE.

NOW, PLEASE JOIN ME IN SINGING DEATH HAPPENS,

AN ORIGINAL FUNERAL SONG BY NATHAN FIELDER,

AS YOU COME UP TO VIEW THE BODY.

♪ HE'S SO SAD

♪ DEATH IS SO SAD

♪ DEATH IS SO SAD BUT IT HAPPENS ♪

JOHN, YOUR EYES ARE OPEN.

YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

ARE YOU--YOU'RE MOVING YOUR LEGS TOO.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. DO YOU--

I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS MOVING IT.

I THOUGHT I WAS ABSOLUTELY STILL, SO--

OKAY, YOU'RE TALKING NOW. YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ANY OF THAT.

OKAY, JUST--I NEED YOU TO BE-- I'M JUST GONNA CLOSE THIS,

BECAUSE I THINK IT'D JUST BE BETTER FOR THE REST OF US.

♪ DEATH IS SO SAD

♪ DEATH IS SAD

♪ BUT IT HA-APPENS

♪ THINGS GET BETTER FOR FRIE-IENDS ♪

SO HOW SOON DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE IMPLEMENTING IT?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT LIKE I SAID, MORE "YES" THAN "NO."

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DID, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO,

BUT SOMETIMES, WHEN I DO THESE THINGS,

PEOPLE WILL HAVE A "THANK YOU" GIFT FOR ME.

- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU-- - OKAY, NO, I GUESS NOT.

OKAY, WELL, IN THESE SITUATIONS,

WE JUST HAVE SOMETHING PREPARED.

- MM-HMM. - SO MAYBE I COULD

GIVE IT TO YOU AND YOU COULD HAND IT TO ME

SO IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GIVING IT TO ME ON CAMERA.

- OKAY. OKAY. - OKAY, SO I'LL JUST--

I'LL JUST GRAB IT.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

- SO I'LL--I'LL COME IN AGAIN. - OKAY.

- OH, HI, MRS. BOYD. - HI. HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, GREAT. - GOOD, GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- UM, WHAT IS THIS? - THIS IS A--

A SMALL TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION

FOR THE SERVICE THAT YOU BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION.

OH, MY GOD. THANK YOU.

YOU REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

YES, WE DID.

SCISSORS?

MM-HMM.

WHY DID YOU GET ME SCISSORS?

EVERYBODY NEEDS A PAIR OF SCISSORS, I GUESS.

ARE THESE USED OR ARE THEY NEW?

- NO, THEY'RE NEW. - OH, OKAY.

GREAT, IT WAS-- THANK YOU FOR THE SCISSORS,

AND I HOPE YOU USE THE IDEA.

- THANK YOU. - OKAY.

- BYE. - BYE-BYE.

PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET THE BEST,

SO WHY IS THE PLACE THAT CLAIMS TO HAVE

THE BEST BURGER IN LOS ANGELES COMPLETELY EMPTY?

GUSTAVO MUNOZ OWNS L.A. BURGER IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA,

AND HE HAS THE BEST BURGER IN TOWN.

I HAVE THE BEST BURGERS IN L.A.

SO I PAID HIM A VISIT WITH A WAY

TO GET EVERYONE TO TRY HIS BURGER.

MY PLAN WAS A GUARANTEE: TRY THE BURGER,

AND IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S THE BEST IN L.A.,

GUSTAVO WILL GIVE YOU $100 CASH OF HIS OWN MONEY.

I DON'T KNOW.

- IT IS THE BEST, RIGHT? - IT'S THE BEST.

OKAY, GREAT. SO THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WELL, I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE--

UNLESS YOUR BURGER ISN'T THE BEST.

UH, WELL, UM--

WAIT, IS YOUR BURGER THE BEST?

OF COURSE, IT'S THE BEST.

'CAUSE NO BURGER PLACE HAS EVER MADE A CLAIM LIKE THIS,

BUT YOU CAN, 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST.

WELL, IT SOUNDS GOOD.

- YEAH - IT SOUNDS GOOD.

GUSTAVO AGREED TO PUT UP HIS OWN CASH FOR THE PROMOTION,

AND IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING OFFER,

THAT I WAS EASILY ABLE TO LAND US

ON L.A.'S MOST LISTENED-TO MORNING RADIO SHOW.

95.5 KLOS.

COME OVER, TRY OUR--OUR BURGERS.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, IT'S GONNA BE $100 BILL.

- WOW, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. - THAT'S--

THAT'S A LOT OF BALLS, GUSTAVO...

- YEAH. - 100 BUCKS, 'CAUSE I MEAN,

AREN'T YOU--I MEAN, WHEN'S THIS PROMOTION HAPPENING?

- IT'S GONNA HAPPEN TODAY AT-- - TODAY?

- YEAH. - I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR

- HOW IT TURNS OUT. OKAY. - ALL FAITH, ALL RIGHT.

AND I TRUST HIM,

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY TRIED THE BURGER.

I DON'T EAT RED MEAT RIGHT NOW.

- WHAT? - WHAT?

SO I MEAN, WHEN HE SAYS IT'S THE BEST,

I--YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE THAT IT'S THE BEST.

- OKAY. - CAN I ASK,

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE LISTENING RIGHT NOW?

-MILLIONS. - MILLIONS?

- YEAH. - MILLIONS OF PEOPLE

ARE LISTENING TO THIS RIGHT NOW, GUSTAVO.

- THAT'S CRAZY. - YEAH, THAT IS.

LET'S GO TO FREDDY ON LINE TWO.

HELLO, FREDDY. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS PROMOTIONAL IDEA

THAT L.A. BURGER'S THROWING ON.

I THINK IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.

LET ME TELL YOU MY BACKGROUND, FIRST OF ALL--

WELL, I--WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND, FREDDY?

ALL RIGHT, NEXT CALLER, PLEASE.

STEVE ON LINE TWO. HELLO, STEVE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS IDEA?

WELL, I ADMIRE, YOU KNOW, HIM STANDING BY HIS PRODUCT,

BUT I THINK THAT SOMEBODY CAN BE DISHONEST

AND LIE ABOUT THE BURGER. THEY CAN JUST SAY, "YOU KNOW,

I'VE HAD OTHER BURGERS I THINK ARE BETTER."

I COULD SEE THAT GUSTAVO WAS GETTING NERVOUS

DURING THE RADIO SHOW,

SO AFTER, I HAD A TALK WITH HIM.

SO I SAW YOU WERE A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS IN THERE.

UM, A LITTLE.

WELL, I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE A STRESSFUL EXPERIENCE FOR YOU,

SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, EVEN THOUGH IT'S UNLIKELY

I THINK PEOPLE WILL CLAIM THE $100,

I'LL PERSONALLY PUT UP MY OWN MONEY IF THEY DO,

BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I TRUST YOU

WHEN YOU SAY IT'S THE BEST. IT IS THE BEST, RIGHT?

IT IS THE BEST, YES.

SO WE WON'T BE PAYING A LOT.

WE'RE NOT GONNA PAY THAT MUCH MONEY...AT ALL.

OKAY, SO NO RISK ON YOU, IT'S ALL ON ME.

both:

NOW I'M A BIT NERVOUS.

THE RADIO SHOW APPEARANCE SEEMED TO WORK,

BECAUSE WHEN WE GOT BACK TO L.A. BURGER,

THERE WAS A LINE AROUND THE BLOCK.

HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- IT'S PRETTY GOOD. - YEAH, IT'S VERY GOOD, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO COOK SOME BURGERS.

- OKAY. - AND WITH GUSTAVO ON THE GRILL,

I GOT THE CROWD PUMPED

FOR THE BEST BURGER EXPERIENCE THEY'VE EVER HAD.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. WELCOME TO L.A. BURGER.

THE PROMOTION IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.

AND AFTER A COUPLE PEOPLE BOUGHT BURGERS,

IT SEEMED LIKE GUSTAVO WAS RIGHT.

UH, I LISTENED TO KLOS THIS MORNING TO HEIDI AND FRANK,

BUT IT'S A GOOD BURGER, YEAH. IT'S EXCELLENT. I LIKE IT.

CAME IN HERE AND HAD ONE,

BEST BURGER IN L.A. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I WAS HAPPY TO SEE SOME PEOPLE WERE BEING HONEST

ABOUT LIKING THE BURGER, BUT I SUSPECTED

OTHERS WERE LYING JUST TO GET THE MONEY.

I MEAN, I'M NOT A FAN OF MUSTARD AND KETCHUP.

I THINK THEY SHOULD LEAVE THAT TO MCDONALD'S, YOU KNOW?

IT'S LEAVING THAT AFTERTASTE IN MY MOUTH.

I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. I'M GONNA GO HOME,

AND I'M GONNA BRUSH MY TEETH TO TRY TO GET IT OUT,

BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL.

WELL, THE BEST WAY TO TELL

IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING

IS BY LOOKING AT THEIR FACE WHEN THEY TAKE A BITE.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT HAMBURGER, MAN.

THAT IS GOOD.

WOW, DO YOU WANT $100 OR AN ACADEMY AWARD?

$100.

I THOUGHT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE DISHONEST,

SO I BROUGHT HOLY BOOKS FROM EVERY MAJOR RELIGION

TO BE SURE PEOPLE WERE TELLING THE TRUTH.

I DO NOT THINK THIS IS THE BEST BURGER IN L.A.

I DID NOT LIKE THE BURGER, I SOLEMNLY SWEAR.

- NO, I DON'T LIKE THE BURGER. - OKAY.

WHOO, ANYBODY GOT SOME TOOTHPASTE, OR SOMETHING?

- SHOOT. - BUT STILL,

IT DIDN'T SEEM TO HELP, AND BY LATE IN THE AFTERNOON,

I WAS PAYING OUT TONS AND TONS AND TONS OF MY OWN MONEY.

I JUST COULDN'T TELL WHO WAS LYING,

AND WHEN I TRIED TO QUESTION PEOPLE, THEY GOT UNRULY.

DUDE, I'LL CALL A LAWYER RIGHT NOW

IF YOU'RE SAYING I'M LYING.

YEAH, BUT WHY ARE YOU SO MAD?

'CAUSE YOU'RE SAYING I'M LYING.

IT'S NOT THE GREATEST DAMN BURGER IN THE WORLD,

OR IN L.A.

THE ONLY WAY TO CALM THE MOB WAS TO PAY THEM OUT.

I'M A FRUGAL GUY, SO THIS WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME.

THIS IS MY SECOND BURGER. IT'S GOOD, LIKE--

- YOUR SECOND BURGER? - WHOA HO HO HO!

THE SECOND? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- WAIT, TIME OUT. - SECOND BURGER?

- SECOND BURGER. - IT'S GOOD.

AND BY THE END OF THE AFTERNOON,

I WAS DOING WHATEVER I COULD TO HOLD ONTO MY MONEY.

THE BURGERS, WELL, DID NOT REALLY SATISFY MY TASTES,

AND I HADN'T EVEN HAD BREAKFAST.

IT'S GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE IF WE GIVE YOU THE $100,

WE MIGHT HAVE TO START CUTTING STAFF,

AND RAQUEL WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GO.

WHO'S RAQUEL?

SHE WORKS IN THE KITCHEN.

- OH, NO. - SO YEAH,

HERE'S YOUR $100 EACH. HERE YOU GO.

- IT WAS REALLY BAD. - YEAH.

OH, HEY, RAQUEL. WERE YOU JUST WALKING OUT HERE?

YEAH. HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? - UH, RAQUEL,

THE PROMOTION IS COSTING US MORE THAN WE THOUGHT IT WOULD,

SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET YOU GO.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

IT'S FINE. HAVE YOUR MONEY. HERE.

- NO, IT'S OKAY. REALLY, - SHE'S WAITING AROUND. I MEAN--

I MEAN, NO THE TRUTH IS-- THE TRUTH IS, I MEAN,

IF IT'S GONNA GET LIKE THIS, IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH IT.

DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE IT BACK?

YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT?

- WE'RE GONNA KEEP YOU AROUND. - THANKS.

THANKS. THANK--THANK THEM.

- THAT WAS NICE OF YOU GUYS. - YEAH.

THANKS SO MUCH. YOU GUYS ARE GENEROUS.

NO PROBLEM.

BY THE END OF THE DAY,

THE CUSTOMERS LEFT HAPPY,

AND GUSTAVO SOLD A LOT OF BURGERS.

IT SEEMED LIKE EVERYONE CAME OUT A WINNER,

EXCEPT FOR ME.

HOW WAS IT TODAY?

GOOD. IT WAS GOOD.

THAT WAS BRUTAL FOR ME.

REALLY?

I LOST $6,000.

$6,000?

YEAH, OF MY OWN MONEY, FROM PAYING PEOPLE.

IT MAY HAVE BEEN A LOT OF MONEY, BUT THEN AGAIN,

IT WAS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO SEE GUSTAVO SMILE.

COMING UP, THOUGH, I RISK LOSING SOMETHING

EVEN MORE PRECIOUS THAN MONEY-- MY LIFE.

SOMETIMES, IF WE'RE HELPING A BUSINESS,

IT'S IMPORTANT TO EXPERIENCE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A CUSTOMER,

AND ONCE IN A WHILE,

THAT CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE IS PRETTY RAD.

SCOTT SMITH RUNS SKYDIVE PERRIS IN PERRIS, CALIFORNIA,

AND THOUGH HE LOVES TO FALL, ONE THING

HE DOESN'T WANT TO FALL IS HIS PROFITS.

IT'D BE NICER TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT MORE CONSISTENCY

IN TERMS OF THE BUSINESS LEVEL THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

SKYDIVING IS SO SWEET, AND I WAS STOKED

TO PAY HIM A VISIT TO HELP HIS BUSINESS OUT.

- HEY. - HI. YOU MUST BE NATHAN.

- YEAH. - SCOTT SMITH. NICE TO MEET YOU.

GOOD TO MEET YOU, MAN.

- SKYDIVING, I MEAN... - MM-HMM.

THAT'S A COOL BUSINESS. LIKE, REALLY,

THAT'S SWEET, SO TELL ME ABOUT THAT.

WELL, SKYDIVING, IT'S OUR BUSINESS HERE,

BUT IT'S ALSO OUR PASSION.

I MEAN, I'D LOVE TO DO, LIKE, A JUMP,

TO GET A BETTER SENSE OF THE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE,

BUT MOSTLY JUST TO, YOU KNOW, LIKE,

- ROCK AND ROLL AND STUFF. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, JUST, LIKE, GET OUT THERE.

EXCELLENT. WELL, WE GOT SOME PAPERWORK

- YOU GOTTA FILL OUT FIRST. - ALL RIGHT, SWEET, MAN.

- LET'S DO IT, MAN. - I WAS PUMPED

FOR MY FIRST SKYDIVE, AND THIS WOULD REALLY GIVE ME

A GOOD SENSE OF THE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE

AT SKYDIVE PERRIS, BUT MOSTLY,

I JUST WANTED TO GET ON OUT THERE AND EAT SOME WIND.

SO HOW HIGH ARE WE GOING, LIKE 500 FEET?

UH, NO, WE'RE GOING TO 12,500 FEET.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT HIGHER THAN THAT.

LET ME--LET ME-- TELL YOU WHAT, LET ME

GET THIS ADJUSTED FOR YOU HERE.

OH, COOL. IT WAS TIME

FOR SOME BALLS-TO-THE-WALL RISK-TAKING FUN,

AND EVEN THOUGH THIS JUMP WOULD BE A CINCH FOR ME,

I WAS STILL SUPER STOKED.

WHOO!

BUT I'M SUPPOSED--

I THINK--

I TOTALLY FORGOT I HAD LUNCH PLANS WITH MY FRIEND,

WHICH WAS TERRIBLE SCHEDULING ON MY PART.

REGARDLESS, I COULDN'T DO THE JUMP,

OR I'D KEEP MY FRIEND WAITING.

SORRY, I-I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE

AND EVERYTHING, I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO MEET, UH, MY FRIEND.

- OKAY. IT'S OKAY. - IT'S EMBARRASSING,

'CAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE AN EXCUSE, OR LIKE I'M--YOU KNOW,

AN EXCUSE FOR CHICKENING OUT, BUT I DIDN'T.

- OKAY. OKAY. - WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

YEAH, OKAY-- I WOULD--I'M NOT LAUGHING.

I'M REALLY MEETING A FRIEND FOR LUNCH.

- OKAY, THAT'S FINE. - I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE--

YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, THOUGH.

I... IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?

- NO, YOU'RE MEETING-- - WELL, COME, COME.

- I'LL--LIKE, I'LL-- - OKAY.

- YOU CAN MEET HIM. - OKAY.

I REALLY WANTED TO JUMP. IT SUCKS.

OH, WE'LL JUST GO BACK AND DO IT ANOTHER TIME.

YEAH, DEFINITELY.

- WEARING A SEAT BELT? - YEAH.

WHEN WE ARRIVED AT THE RESTAURANT

WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET MY FRIEND,

IT SEEMED LIKE HE WAS RUNNING LATE.

THIS IS SO ANNOYING.

BUT THEN I SPOTTED HIM...

THERE HE IS.

LATE AS USUAL. HEY!

HOW'S IT GOING? HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HOW'S IT GOING?

HOW'S IT GOING?

- HEY, CAN YOU HELP ME OUT? - UH--

I NEED YOU TO PRETEND TO BE MY FRIEND.

I CAN PAY YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE $40?

- OKAY. - IS THAT OKAY?

- SURE. - I FORGOT

THAT I OWED MY FRIEND $40,

SO THE FIRST THING I DID WAS PAY HIM BACK.

- SO WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN? - NATHAN.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT YOU CONVINCE HIM YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY? ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU. - WHAT'S UP, BUD?

- I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR AWHILE. - ALL RIGHT.

DON'T ACT TOO-- YOU'RE OVERACTING.

THIS IS SCOTT.

I MEAN, THE MAIN REASON I WANTED YOU GUYS TO CHAT

IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTH PRETTY INTO SKYDIVING, SO--

YEAH.

OKAY.

DO YOU EVER SEE HIM AROUND, OR--

WHAT'S THAT? UM...

- OH, REALLY? - YEAH.

OH, OKAY.

BUT YOU DID IT A BUNCH IN GERMANY, RIGHT?

ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU DID IT MOST?

MM-HMM.

WELL, SCOTT MET MY FRIEND,

SO NOW HE KNEW THAT WHAT I WAS SAYING IN THE PLANE

WASN'T AN EXCUSE FOR CHICKENING OUT,

SO WE HEADED IN THE DINER

WHERE I GOT TO CATCH UP WITH MY OLD PAL.

TELL SCOTT THE STORY OF WHEN YOU CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

IT'S A FUNNY STORY-- TO YOUR PARENTS.

I MEAN, IT WAS AWKWARD, BUT--

UM, WHEN I CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET, UM--

AFTER WE WERE DONE WITH LUNCH,

SCOTT ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GO BACK AND DO THE JUMP,

NOW THAT I WAS FREE.

MY ANSWER--HELL, YEAH.

SO WE DROVE BACK TO SKYDIVE PERRIS,

SUITED UP AGAIN, AND HEADED ON THAT PLANE.

♪ LOOKING OUT FOR MORE

I WAS SUPER STOKED.

FINALLY, I'D BE ABLE TO EAT SOME SKY.

♪ I START A HOLY WAR

ONCE I GOT TO THE EDGE, THERE WAS NO HESITATION.

"THREE, TWO, ONE," AND I WAS GONE.

WAIT. WAIT.

♪ HOW LONG I GOTTA WAIT FOR-- WAIT FOR YOU? ♪

IT FELT SO GOOD TO FINALLY JUMP.

MAN, WHAT A THRILL.

BEING UP THERE WITH THE BIRDS-- SO PURE.

IN THE END, I REALIZED THAT SKYDIVE PERRIS

DIDN'T NEED MY ADVICE, BECAUSE THEIR BUSINESS

IS ALL ABOUT GIVING PEOPLE A REAL EXPERIENCE,

AND IT DOESN'T GET MUCH REALER THAN THIS.

AB-SO-LUTELY.

ONE SIDE IS NICE AND JUICY.

ON THIS SIDE, IT'S NICE AND JUICY.

BUT ON THIS SIDE, IT'S GOT--

SEE, YOU CAN'T EVEN PUT YOUR NAIL IN IT,

THERE THIS SIDE, MY FINGER CAN GO RIGHT IN IT.