Original subtitles

Good morning, honey.

Uh, hi, Ma.

You ready for day one, new kid in town?

Define ready.

Hey, remember the plan?

Make eye contact, don't sit alone, don't tell anyone my mom used to... Used to

dance. At a club.

Club dancing. Not a stripper. Got it. Honey, all they need to know is I'm your

mom. I love you, and I make legendary grilled cheese.

And that you're catastrophically embarrassing.

Would you want me any other way?

Maybe slightly less intense.

Intense is part of the package. The rest is charm.

You got this, Jaybird.

So, new guy.

You got a real name? Or should I just call you Transfer Boy?

Uh, Jay's fine.

You into games? Or are you like one of those people with a personality?

Uh, more into movies.

But the theater in my old town sucked, though.

Sounds like a trash town.

Anything good about it?

My mom.

Wow.

Weirdo. Not like that. She just, she used to be really popular, I

guess.

So, you doing anything this weekend?

I live alone with my mom.

We're still unpacking our stuff.

We should do a sleepover.

What?

Really? I'm curious.

New house, new kid.

Might as well see if you're worth hanging out with.

Well, yeah.

I'll ask my mom.

So, how was it?

I, uh, met a guy called Leo. He wants to come over for a sleepover.

Jay, that's amazing!

Yes, yes, of course.

Just, can you not... Not what?

I don't know.

Be too much?

Hey, you're the star. I'm just the chauffeur.

Well, and the maid cleaning your crunchy sock. Mom!

Hey, baby, I will do my very best not to embarrass you.

You must be Leo. I'm Mia. It's really nice to meet you.

Yeah, Miss Rivera.

I mean, I'm Leo. You can call me Mia, unless Miss Rivera makes me sound

mysterious.

Then I might allow it. Okay, okay.

Come on. I'll show you my room. No pressure or anything, but your mom kind

set the bar really high here.

Yeah, well, my room's not as impressive.

Sorry in advance.

That's cool. We already met the main attraction.

Damn, Jay.

Your mom is sexy.

Come on. Chill out.

Dude, she is like one of those moms in commercials.

What does that even mean?

Hot as hell.

Hair, smile, body. They put people like that in cereal ads.

Let's focus on pizza. I'm starving.

You like superhero movies, Mia?

Sure. A bunch of sexy people in costumes.

What's not to like?

You look like you should be in the movie. Would love to see you in one of

body -tight costumes.

Gross!

Hey, everything okay?

I don't want to be the kid with the hot mom.

Honey, he is here for you, not me.

Doesn't feel like it.

I'm not a stripper anymore, Jay.

I won't upstage you.

I'm sorry, Mom.

You've been sad since you quit.

I can tell.

Well, I mean, I miss it.

Sometimes, sure.

But that part of me had to go away.

I like that he thinks you're cool.

I just... I want him to think I'm cool, too.

You have more to offer than some access pass to me.

He's a horny boy, and I'm a piece of ass.

You're okay with that?

I've gotten used to it by now. It's kind of my thing.

I guess you're right. Jay, you okay in there, man?

You're missing the bikini scene.

Be right there.

Okay, maybe don't sit right next to him.

I know my way around his type.

Don't you worry.

This movie has some awesome music.

Tell me about it.

I remember this song. We used to dance to this all the time.

You dance?

It used to be my job.

What kind of moves are we talking about?

Stuff your parents would not want you saying.

You can't drop a bomb like that and expect not to put on a dance show.

A show?

What do you think, Jake? Should Mommy put on a show for the two of you?

The two of us? Of course.

It's y 'all's party, not mine.

Okay, let's see those old moves.

I think they're going numb.

What do you think, J. Burns?

Still got it.

So, who gets the first lap dance?

No way!

Lap dancing?

Try and keep up, Leo.

You've never seen a date like this, have you?

I, uh, I, uh...

Oh, my God.

Miss Rivera, I need some breathing room.

Leo, what are you doing?

There's rule, kiddo. Better not let the manager catch you with that thing out.

I suppose we can't leave out the man of the house.

Wow. Haven't seen this side of you, Mom.

Well, you're the grown -up now. Time for a front row seat.

Come on, Leo. Put that dick away.

What? No, I didn't even... Time to cool down.

Aw, man.

You boys camping in the living room tonight?

I am not even sure I could fall asleep if I wanted to.

Oh, to be young again.

Damn, Jay, you have an awesome life.

Well, I mean, it ain't bad.

Not gonna lie.

Everything okay, Jaybird? I think I was seeing things all wrong.

You made me the cool guy.

Oh, I think your friend got that memo tonight.

You did that for me.

Of course, baby.

You're my boy. Now, get back out there. I'll stay out of your hair.

No, no.

It's okay.

You can hang out with us.

You mean it? Yeah. It's cool.

Look at that.

2 a .m. and you're still awake?

Guess I'm not officially old yet.

You don't look a day over 21.

Remember that time at the movies when that guy thought you were my date?

Oh my god, yes. You practically melted into the carpet.

I'll confess, I kinda like the idea of people thinking I could pull someone

you. Really? Well, I guess we all have our secrets.

Hey, any good club stories?

How much money could you make in a night?

Enough to cover rent, at least.

Sometimes more.

A lot more.

That dance you did would be worth every penny.

Oh, please.

That was barely a warm -up. Are you kidding?

I'm going to be replaying that demo in my head every night.

Okay, easy. That's still my mom you're talking about. Don't tell me you don't

think about her when you stroke it. Leo!

I've washed my share of stained sheets off Jay's bed.

Okay, Mom. Too much information.

So, what kind of dance would pay this house mortgage?

Do you want to see?

Yes, please.

Easy, you two.

Hey, Mia.

Mom, I don't think Leo's going to be paying any rent money.

I'll get a loan.

What do you say, Manager Jay?

What are the rules on the floor?

I owe you, Jay.

I owe you big.

I'll cover your lunch for the rest of the year.

Hey, now.

I'm no floor manager.

So maybe you're more the guest of honor.

I like the sound of that better.

Naughty, Jay.

Oh, I'm the naughty one?

Based on what I'm feeling in your pants, yeah, you are.

What would it take to lose the bottoms, Mia?

Well, you simply had to ask.

You holding in there, Jaybird?

Yeah, you could say that.

Go on, big boy.

Touch me.

Oh, wow.

You're okay with Mommy having a little fun?

I think we're all having fun.

Careful, Jaybird.

I'm coming.

Are

you

okay, baby?

Don't. Stop.

Have you ever... No. No, I haven't.

Holy sh...

Come on, baby.

Give it to mommy.

This is intense.

Leo, put it in my ass.

I've got more, Mia.

Holy shit.

Oh, fuck.

I missed this.

Hey, not a word about this. Got it?