Original subtitles

I've never been to any of the parties in a way.

I've never been invited. Sometimes I'd walk by and see what was going on, but

I'd never go in.

Look at the age of social media.

We all, you know, look at other people like, oh, you like someone.

What's one of the first things you do? You look up their social media.

You look at their Facebook, their Instagram. You see what the person's

I live around these people. We've been going to school for years with each

other, of course.

You know, I'm going to know things about them. And by nature, I'm an observant

person. I seek knowledge. I learn. That's why I'm so good at school.

noticing it's not like i'm going out of my way it's just i see it

but one doesn't kiss and tell

There's an interesting daughter on a yacht called the Seagull who found a

in the jungle.

She's got a question she can't answer.

Should we just let her faster?

Let her float on the ocean to deliver a potion.

We'll have a margarita.

Got some friends that wanna meet ya.

Got some friends that wanna teach ya.

Everybody wanted to be like them. You know them. They went to your school too.

They totally ruled.

The one in blue, that's Julian. He was the leader. He was like Satan and

The tall one, Cameron Fox.

Legend in his own mind. Known to himself as Foxy. Oh, and the one with the white

bandana with the black hair is Duke. Doomed to be popular because of that

And because he was best friends with the one in the red.

That's Jake Henson.

He was special.

Everybody loved Jake, not because he was beautiful and popular and rich and

smart. He was all those things, but more than anything, he was sweet.

Julian ruled with terror, but Jake ruled with kindness.

He was the Troy Bolton of Archer High, and that pissed Julian off.

Jake Henson was just, well, he was perfect.

I used to dream what it would be like to be him.

Jake Henson.

It's a shame what happened to Jake.

That was no way to wake up on your 18th birthday.

Oh my God!

He's going to die. It's so much better than what we did to him last year.

I wish I had friends who'd do this for me. Yeah, right. You'd have us killed.

Brutally annihilated, my dude.

So what are we going to do to him?

We're going to take him to stuff his face with waffles, and then we're going

tie him to the boy sink ass up with a torpedo fog.

He's going to die.

Camera?

Yes, sir. Okay, baby.

Rise and shine, birthday boy.

Okay, who's doing the honors? Me, me.

Okay, here we go. One is for Dick.

Two is for Frick.

Pop it, Cam.

Surprise!

Oh, my God. What's in his mouth? Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God.

I thought it was supposed to be funny.

No, this isn't happening. Jason, this isn't happening! I don't want him to

scream! Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Jake! Stop, stop.

I thought the gag ball would be funny.

Get in. Let's go.

Juliet, Juliet, Juliet! Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to think!

What are you staring at?

Jake is back there.

Duke, look at me.

Hey!

This happens, okay?

We're gonna make our way to class before late as if nothing happened, alright?

Jake's gonna stay here till lunch, and then we'll figure out exactly what we're

gonna do.

What about this mail?

How could you say that?

Okay, we have to go to the police!

No one is going to the police! What if someone finds out?

How can anyone find out if nothing happened?

When I say we're going to figure this out, we are.

I don't know.

I can't go to class now.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Okay, great. Perfect. We'll go to the boys' room and throw up our Truvada. Get

your shit together, faggot. I can't go.

Okay, maybe Duke's right. The police deal with this sort of thing all the

Really? Yeah, with three culprits just walking right in, we might as well ask

where the nearest penitentiary is. Shut up.

You like niacin in your food?

You think twigs do well in prison? We're not going to jail.

Exactly. Because we have class.

Stop fucking staring back there.

I'm gonna be sick.

Alright

ladies,

we good?

I guess to class.

Open the door. Get out, okay? Open the damn door.

O -M -P.

How close, close. A real man just walked in. The smell of tobacco and musk is

lingering.

Ugh. Please, God, don't let my tuna fish get me away.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys.

What? We only have a few minutes left before we have to get back.

Dammit, Julian, can you stop being a dick for one second?

You can't, machine.

It's because it needs to eat.

So is that it? What? You hate me like this?

Why'd you get us into this mess?

Who else could be Foxy?

No one.

That's right.

Who else could we rely on to keep this all okay?

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, I know.

You gays.

I can't stand you.

Boxing in for the kill.

As always.

Wait up!

Guys!

Alrighty, Tuna.

Where were we?

Don't move! Stop!

Relax!

Relax! Relax!

Come on, come on, come on.

What are you doing here?

Let's go. Go. Go, go, go, go. What, are they remaking Charlie's Angels, huh?

Come on.

You guys are as pretty as these flowers.

Go. I just don't need one more prick in my house.

Jillian. Go.

I didn't say you could go in my house.

No. No.

No.

Come on, let's go. Let's go. Come on, come on. He didn't. He didn't.

You're not going in there. Yes, we are.

What did I say?

I said you're not going in. We're going in, Dad. Come on.

You're not going in there, pretty boy.

You and your girlfriend's there.

Let us, please.

Why? I'm not doing this shit right now.

What shit?

Huh? You've already been drinking like me.

No, I'm not. Yeah.

We haven't been, okay?

I said you're at the beauty parlor.

You and your hair and your nails and this one with a pearl necklace and that

one. Yeah, maybe you should go.

What? Shave your fucking beard. Maybe take a shower. Yeah, I get laid with

beard on.

Mm -hmm.

Anyway, go on.

Go on, girl.

Let's go.

Open the door, are you that weak?

Come on.

Go.

You have a butt implant, dude? Yeah, sit down before you fall down.

But for real, what are we going to do?

How much do you trust me?

You know it's us three for life.

Well, it's four, but Jake... lives on, okay.

Brent runs a diner this morning, okay? We can get him the vouch for us,

He's always bragging that he can change the cameras to touch Gina and shit,

so... Yeah, at what cost? You know how he works. It's either cash, grass, or

ass. Okay, so I have two whores ready. Let's give him a show. Yeah, you know he

doesn't like dudes, so... Well, it's this or we're caught.

So we were at the diner at night. There weren't video footage.

We were there the night before, and if I'm not mistaken, we all changed into

horcoles for the party.

And we trust Brent to show the police the night from before?

I've been there before, and the security cameras suck. They're all black and

white, and as long as we change the date, we're fine. He literally does it

the time.

Sounds like we're going to prison.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but text Brent and check in, all right? Tell him

you have a proposition for him.

This is crazy.

Swirling.

Sorry, you know how to get it.

Piece of shit.

Ow.

Sorry. I like that.

Fine, just make sure it's tight. I want to be ready for you -know -who.

Mr. Bing?

Shut up.

Hey, hey, hey.

How's my baby girl doing?

Bro.

Stacey, don't you find it funny when guys use baby girls?

Brent, don't you have somewhere else to be like, maybe hell?

Yeah, right.

So hot.

See you next, Richie.

Um, Brent, can we talk in private?

Yeah. What's up?

What's up?

What's up? Whoa, hey.

I was just kidding.

Were you?

Yeah. Fine. Don't do it again.

Oh wow, we're making a mistake, huh? I just thought delivering something

personally would be a cute gesture, but breaking in is so daytime news.

Why are my feet not stopping?

What are my hands doing?

We know you. You're in bio with us. You want me to finish this faggot? No, let

him go. Let him go.

What have you seen?

Nothing. You've seen nothing?

What the hell are you doing here?

I just wanted to drop off the homework for you guys. We don't do homework. Why

the fuck are you here? I swear.

It's study hall this morning. Mrs. Fletcher told me to tell you guys about

reading assignment.

Angela's ashes.

We don't read, bitch. Why the fuck are you here? You've got five seconds,

I came because I thought... I just wanted to give you the book.

Take it.

Woody, I know you.

You're at home and with us on testing days. You asked me not to copy off you

because all the tests were different.

Cam, what do you think you saw?

I saw a twinkie broken and murdered Jake.

Me too.

Me three.

Isn't it a shame that I already killed our best friend?

Gagged him, in fact. I heard you raped him after being with that psycho

And lookie there, your expression says it all.

Stalker kills.

I'm going to the cops. Oh! If you go to the cops, who do you think they're going

to believe?

The Henson's son's best friends or a psycho stalker killer who everyone knows

obsessed?

We see you, ugly twink.

Maybe we can trust you.

You can trust us.

How would you like to see the world differently?

Fresh start, so to say.

I don't know. I have to get going. Or I can stay.

Good boy.

First things first.

What are those brown?

It's Ira, right?

It's Ira.

That's what I said. Okay, Ira, your name's stuck.

How about iridescent?

How about faggot?

That's not funny.

Let's see, Nathaniel. Too foreign. Chad.

Too typical.

James. Ew, no.

Greg. Barf.

Paul. Who wants a cracker? Mark.

No one in Archer is named Mark.

It's a hot name.

It's a bro name.

It's Mark.

You think after becoming one of us, we still trough you out on your mouth?

Yeah. How can we really trough you?

We have to do it squarely.

Agreed.

Can I have some space?

I have a compromised immune system.

Kiss us.

What? You heard him.

Kiss us.

It was then that I knew I made it.

I couldn't confess to a murder purely based on our pact.

On this sensual, intimate moment, I knew I was in.

An archer god.

I was with all three gods.

Minus the Jake.

O. M.

G.

Jake loved Frank.

No, unless it's the Frank Ocean anymore anyways.

It's your Jake.

It was perfect.

It really was.

Put the sappy fit on.

Go. Y -D.

I guess this makes me an accomplice, huh?

This is so weird. Why does it feel so wrong yet so right?

Jake is gone, and I'm driving around taking his spot.

And now I'm tossing his clothes?

But I wouldn't give just a laugh with him once more.

Mark. Ira.

You really proved yourself tonight, man.

Jake would be proud.

He liked you. Like, genuinely. As a friend.

We seriously owe you.

Thanks. Remember our swear.

I may as well not give Julianne a gad ball for Jake's birthday.

Dude's lame.

When are you gonna give it up to Julianne?

You know how I feel about him. It's just sex.

He's gay though.

He's bi when he was stuck in the 1950s.

I'm sorry I'm not PC enough.

Anyway, Cammie's a new woman.

Cammie's fat.

I am, but I trust her.

I need you to talk to Julianne.

Why? I need someone who doesn't take me back to grind.

Why'd you do this to me? Just do it.

What's in it for me?

Come meet you in that after school?

Listen, Fuggs. I won't tolerate your nosiness for much longer. So next time,

present yourself.

Capisce?

So if you don't read by the dick, how big?

Shut up, it's not like that. I'm just saying, Julian's big.

So, when I cornered Pammy and I told her if I'd ask, it would drive every detail

she did.

Well, so?

Let's just say, other than being well -endowed, we're nothing.

Brody.

Well, what else did she say?

I don't know, you know, blah blah, gay stuff, insecure stuff, big girl things,

don't know. You know how she remembers.

Which one of the gays does he like more than me?

Hey! One of those ugly, banana dick boys could ever.

I see you.

What? Staring at Brent.

No, I'm not.

Brent's an idiot, but he's my idiot.

Obviously, I'm not looking.

Chill, you can stare.

I wouldn't.

I'm not staring. I'm literally only here for you.

Right.

Follow my lead.

Sure thing. Don't make it obvious.

Blah.

Look at the girls.

Hi.

What are you doing with that?

Mark, you mean?

Yeah, Mark.

You okay?

Yeah, I... I guess I just thought I had a shot like Jakey, you know?

Look, a kiss doesn't mean anything.

It meant something to me.

What we all did together meant something to me.

Dude, sex is like dancing.

You're just gonna dance with one partner for the rest of your life.

If you can't commit to me, I can't commit to a swear.

You think anyone will believe you?

When you left to prep the space, where do you think I was?

What are you saying?

I know what you did.

I didn't do anything.

That's funny because I have pictures saying otherwise.

I'll be waiting for you at my house.

Around nine?

I like boxer briefs.

And you can tell Stacey and Brent you have plans on Saturday.

Hehehehe!

Who are you?

Take off your clothes.

always regret never being there that night.

The night of Julian's overdose.

Typical, it was a party I wasn't invited to and didn't even know about.

After the overdose, everyone moved on, went to their respective colleges,

pretended everything didn't happen.

It's like he never existed.

But lingered after that.

What's not life, but the most trivial list of mundane things.

A clock ticking on the wall.

A dusty trophy sitting on a ledge.

The outrageousness of a human being thinking only of himself.

I began the impossible process of trying to forget him.

But Duke still remained.

He was just like me.

Still here.

Stuck in the past with the rest of us who couldn't get out.

Can I have only a degree in private?

You aren't allowed to be here, Ira. I need to say goodbye too!

You know, I thought you've changed.

Became more empathetic, but nope.

Still mean.

I know I should move on, but I'm stuck.

Still obsessed with my 15 minutes as a mean boy.

As long as I breathe, I will always be a mean boy.

Duke was still sexy, mean, and now, high.

Our secrets still remain, one that I thought made me one of them.

But he didn't care.

You see, he became obsessed with bodybuilding and needle drugs, then,

of them did.

Am I an enabler?

I get that not everything is at the scene, but I'm not ornate.

I want to be with him.

He needs me in a time like this. There's not many gays here.

We have to team up.

Who else would even give a fuck about a fan act? I mean, come on, you can't tell

me the bitch doesn't touch steroids.

Who cares if he does needle drugs if I make sure he doesn't do too much?

Thanks for coming out, man.

I didn't want to freak you out, but you got to keep all of us on the same page.

Yeah, yeah.

He's camera happy.

That's Ira. He doesn't have any friends.

All he does is take photos.

Dude is a fucking creep.

Yeah, but, you know, he couldn't hurt a fly.

Besides, he's going to Princeton next year.

And we'll never have to see him again.

Hey man, you're wild.

Just a little fun.

Alright.

Fine, you can call it an obsession.

But they need me.

They're not thinking logically.

Drugs kill their best friends and they repeat the pattern.

I can steer them in the right direction.

I'm trying to try, but you're making it hard. I can feel you looking at me.

Thank you.

What?

Me what?

Just love being here with you.

I mean, doesn't it feel... I don't know.

Special?

Special?

What?

What? You don't feel like things are... I feel like things are different with

you.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Um, I think I'm going to get out.

What?

Yeah,

I'm going to get out.

Please.

We've already been in here for like two hours.

Yeah.

No.

No. No.

Brent.

Back up.

Where are you going to go?

Come on. Don't worry about it. Come on. Just one more time.

Come on.

Where are you going?

Hey. Get back in the car.

No.

We're already at my house.

Where are you going?

Hi. Stop leaving your clothes at my house, unless you want me to start

them, okay?

Maybe I do want you to start wearing them.

My butt's already big.

It is big.

It's big.

Also, here.

Put those somewhere where nobody can find them, okay?

I don't need to be thinking about you getting in trouble.

I know what to do.

Are you sure? Is that why you call me every time?

Yes, Dad.

Okay, just making sure.

Well, I'll be right here. Sure.

I just wanted to give you a picture of Julian.

I stole it from one of you guys.

Well, I got one too.

Are you, uh... Are you doing okay?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

Good?

Yeah, I'm good.

Put these somewhere safe, please.

I just gotta remind you.

It's okay?

I gotta go.

What are you doing?

I've got people to see. Is there anything else new?

What kind of... friend are you?

The best one you got.

What the fuck are you doing?

I just wanted to check in on you. Ah, you broke into my house.

And?

Is this what you want?

Is this what you want?

It's all I've been dreaming of.

Yeah, sure.

Come here.

You ready?

You want to hit like a, huh?

You know, that's what I want.

Yeah? You ready for this?

I am ready. Taking after that?

Taking it.

Hold it.

Be careful.

Yeah?

Take that.

I've seen you shoot up enough to know how. Just.

Almost that.

What are you doing?

Nice.

Thank you.

I'm dropping stuff.

You all right? What is it? It's fine.

I'll get it later. I'll get it.

You getting ready for something?

Take pictures?

Pictures.

You got my makeup on your face.

Oh, thank you.

You know, I was thinking we...

Why don't I take you out tonight?

You know, we can go to the grind, meet up with Duke, we go to a house party,

and, I don't know, grab some food.

What do you think?

What's wrong?

Come on. I don't feel like it today.

I know, but you haven't felt like it like all week. What's going on with you?

I'm sleepy.

You're sleepy?

Yeah. Fell asleep on me the other day, too.

What's this?

No.

What are you doing with this? What's this thing? What is this?

Is this your kid?

You're doing a lot right now.

I'm doing a lot. What are you doing?

I'm doing the same shit that you do.

No, your parents are going to be here any minute.

Okay, would you rather do it at your house?

No, we go up to the vine, we do the stuff. What are you thinking?

What are you thinking?

What is up with you lately?

All you keep doing is blowing me off.

If you have something to say, say it to me.

I think you need to stop fucking other people.

What are you talking about?

You're crazy. You think I'm as dumb as you? No, you're crazy.

You think I'm as dumb as you? You're crazy.

I'm crazy?

Yeah. What do you mean fucking other people?

I'm not dumb.

Back up. Oh my god.

You know what? I don't know.

Look,

I think we need to cool down.

Okay, so leave.

Alright, I'm going.

Give me the fucking bag. I'm not going to give you the bag. You can stop

fucking.

What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck

out of my house. No. Get the fuck out. No. I'm not leaving you like this.

I'm not going to leave you like this. No, fuck you. Leave.

What?

Give me this and leave. Yes.

Get the fuck out. Yes. Yes.

Yes. That's all I fucking want. So leave. Fuck you.

How's it going, guys? Ira here, and it is June 11th, Day 7 of Project B.

And there you are.

Having fun.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Just, uh, fuck it, I'm going over.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Hey, hey, um, can I get your interview for a sec? If you could change one

Besides that, what would you change about Archer?

Fuck off.

Yeah.

Dude, I'm fucking loaded.

All right, uh, just. Do you believe this guy?

Fuck! I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!

I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!

I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!

I'm going! I'm going!

I'm going!

I'm going! I'm going!

I'm going!

I'm going!

I'm going!

I'm going!

That did not go open.

I think they know there's no interview.

Even if I'm buying.

I'm not into you like that.

You're nice, but... You see the guys?

They think you're a stalker. Like, I'm not.

Miss me?

Where did you come from?

Over there.

Can you for real stop?

Everyone knows you're a stalker. You can't keep showing up places.

I'm not.

It's enough.

I'm one of you.

Yeah, you're one of us.

What more do you want? Can't you just lay low?

Lay low?

Like how I fucked your friends.

And you.

To not be invited to your - Stupid fat nights where you let the only person I

love overdose.

Whoa.

That lay low.

That lay low.

You need to chill. Tell me to chill.

I think it's best we keep our distance.

No. I need you to understand.

You're scaring me.

Okay? You've lost your marbles.

No one cares about Julian anymore. Or Jake.

They're last summer's news.

Everyone knows you're weird.

You still take photos. You show up places that you're not invited to.

You have a poster board with our faces scratched out that you keep under your

bed. No, I... Look, it's not what you think.

I...

I love

you, Duke.

I wanted you to be mine.

I gotta go. No, wait!

Please, please.

Just stay with me.

For one minute.

What's in it for me?

I'll do whatever you want.

You don't like me.

You're doing this out of ego.

You're crazy.

But you know I like that.

You're high.

Shut up and take my pants off.

We have some urgent business.

I have a plan to end our stalker.

It's easy. Just jump him.

It won't work. He would love to get beat up.

We're going to have a party at my parents' cabin and actually invite him

time. I don't get why we care.

He's always going to take pictures.

He's a fugly nerd with no friends. I'm not going to waste my time talking about

tuna fish fag.

Just do it.

For everything that's happened, do it for Julian.

Fine.

Only because of Julian.

If we only eradicate this fucker, probably we'll all cooperate.

Kill me.

Watch out for my attacks.

I knew I wasn't liked, but hated?

These fucks are really gonna try me.

They don't know I'm on 20 milligrams of Zeprexa and Ritalin.

He'll be here.

You said tonight, right?

Just get him here.

I'll take care of the rest.

Well, when he gets here, I'll take him to the bar.

This place has been in the bottle.

I said.

Okay, so we're all set up in the closet and everything.

Sounds like a plan.

They're so funny.

What do they have planned?

Fight me?

Drug me?

Shoot me?

Yo, where's your boy at?

He's nobody's boy and he's in a show.

When? Oh my god, he is fucking coming. It is all he thinks about.

Fuck it.

Who wants a little?

You don't have to tell me twice.

See?

We're all having a chill time, right?

We have to act happy if we want him to show.

But he's got his camera out right now.

Take it easy, all right? You're scaring her.

It's the truth.

Damn it. He knows me too well.

This shit hits.

See, it's good, right?

Yes.

Give me a second.

Right.

Oh, no.

Okay. Y 'all do your thing. I, uh... I'm good.

Be here if you need me.

Watch him not even fucking show up. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna smack the shit out of you. Shut the fucking door.

Just fucking find it. Jesus Christ.

God damn it.

What is all this shit?

Don't touch it on my door. You know what? Let's find this shit. Let's just

CVS. Okay?

Can't go to fucking CVS because of you and Julian's five -finger discount.

Well, I can't find any usable needles. What do you want me to do? Okay, well, I

had a bag around here somewhere, so... I found it.

Happy?

Here you go.

It's not here?

No.

So the fucker's just gonna play ding -dong -ditch.

I'll get it, man.

I could've told you that twink wasn't gonna show.

Shut the fuck up.

I need a fucking drink.

Why am I even here?

This guy.

Ira!

Ira!

Oh,

let's grab a drink.

I'm okay.

Thanks. Jack and Coke kind of, right?

Look like a Bloody Mary.

This isn't a cake brunch.

You know what?

Let's start with a game.

No.

Games really aren't my thing.

Ira, we didn't invite you to be a stick in the mud.

So?

How's life since everything?

You know, just a gap year.

I'm gonna start at Princeton in the fall.

Cute!

Staying local, of course, gotta stay by the beach.

Um. No.

Let's go to my room, that's where we're playing, so.

Don't tell me you're done for the night. No.

Alright.

Ira, join us, man.

Don't be shy. Come on, man.

Come on.

All right.

You ready?

Okay. This will be interesting.

Never do turn down a spin. Never has.

Come on.

You'll be fine.

You can trust me.

Help!

Help! Help!

Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help!

Help!

Ira! Ira!

No one's trying to kill you.

Come on.

Relax. Calm down. Come on. Come on.

Relax. Relax.

Ira, you're at sea change. You're having withdrawal from your addiction.

Okay? Now sit down.

Sit down.

Ira, you're at sea change, and you're having withdrawal from your addiction.

This is normal.

These hallucinations are all normal.

No, I'm not.

Julian, it...

He's your son.

Wait a minute. Who's Julian? That's what he said.

He's your son. How did you... No, no.

Tell me about Julian.

Who is Julian?

No, this is not right.

I was in a closet. I was in a closet with Brent and he... Who?

No, Brent. He... Gina.

There was Julian. There was...

Duke, talk to me, Jake.

Ira, you're at sea change. You're having withdrawal from your addiction.

Okay, this is normal.

All these hallucinations are normal.

I want you to take a deep breath.

In. Come on.

In. No!

Thank you.

Watching you.

Watching you.

The fire is for you.