Original subtitles

Lucille...

That's enough!

Lulu, let him go!

- Stop it! - Let go of me!

Lucille!

Serves him right.

My name sounds sissy, but I'm not.

My folks got it wrong at birth.

"Lucille"just isn't me.

Call me that, I'll break your face.

Call me "Lulu", period.

Or better still, don't. Just leave me be.

Hello.

What goes on in Mom's head?

On that bench.

Ever since I was a kid I've seen her sit there

day after day, staring into space.

in Mom's head

The Eiffel Tower?

Loosen just seven bolts and it'd collapse.

No more, no less.

- That's awful. - No.

Not awful, just physics.

Yet not any old bolts.

Seven precise ones.

It's called equilibrium of masses.

Meaning that...

some terrorist with a wrench

only has to find them...

It'd take more than a wrench.

And the location of the bolts is top secret...

Then, of course, you have to find them.

They're not within reach of tourists.

The engineers saw to that.

To find them requires...

What's she doing?

My theory is, when my mom sits on her bench

she thinks of her dad, 'cos her dad

died in a fire when she was little.

Seems they never found his body

and my mom never got over that.

So, she waits

hoping he might come home.

That's what I reckon.

Especially since her dad, the fool

hadn't got over the death of his mom

who was denounced

and deported during World War 2...

What's more,

she was never found either.

And my mom's dad's mom's dad

died of something too...

Which must've caused folks pain.

So what I figure is, my mom

sits on her bench and thinks

of all her dead family since time began.

The dead are her best buddies.

Because the dead are no trouble.

No back chat, no teenage crises,

no fighting, nothing...

Always well dressed and polite too.

Yes...

Yet though my mom is always ill

she never dies.

You wouldn't think it,

but it's pretty wild in Mom's head.

If we run out of food, you're dead.

Eyes always bigger than your belly.

Yeah, that must be it.

Is Clara celebrating her 1 5th tonight too?

Yeah.

She looks more mature, no?

You mean more "layable".

Labels? She wears them to school?

Forget it.

Herbalist Flowers of Evil

Mom, no!

Just in and out.

Three capsules of linseed, an infusion of alder

and two tablespoons of macerated juniper

three times a day along with the suppositories

and still no move...

- And the pains? - Still the same.

It's the gas.

The gas?

I still fart a lot.

Especially after meals.

Even keeps me awake at night.

I'm all bloated. My bowel must be irritated.

You saw, I spent ages on the toilet earlier for nothing.

And when it does come out it's just droppings.

My mom adores her shit.

The workings of her intestines are her only passion.

She keeps it all inside.

She only shits if she really has to.

We started without you.

Hi, girls!

- How are you, Juliette? - Fine.

Hi, Dad.

So, you think that's enough?

You're joking!

Way too much, it'll go to waste.

Not feeling nervous?

What for?

Well, it's our party.

Don't worry, it'll be a flop.

Juliette, a glass of wine?

No, I can't stomach alcohol.

I'm the same with water.

Mom, easy on.

It's good for my complexion.

A drop, just this once!

Lulu, some wine to get in the mood?

Dad, if you leave her

I won't blame you.

Me and Lulu think alike.

Really?

Same thoughts, same time.

We're alike. It's genetic.

You bitch, what a gift!

Why is that?

- I look like a whore! - No, just a girl.

Why wear itchy stuff if no one sees it?

That's up to you.

With those old cotton knickers of yours...

This one's my favourite.

They all are.

No, this one's different, it talks about me.

Listen...

Run from happiness for fear it might go

That the sky's azure turn to mauve

Think of something else, you're better off...

I'm sick of Jane Birkin.

Well, that's your loss, tough shit.

By the way,

sorry I've no gift, I was short on ideas.

Doesn't matter.

You already have it all, but if you fancy anything

buy it and I'll pay you back.

Anyhow, surprises always fall flat.

How do I look?

I bust my button, I'm too fat.

Got a safety pin?

Lulu! You could knock.

Come on, you're my mother.

What do you want? A safety ring?

No, a safety pin.

But a safety ring might do.

In the sewing box.

Lulu!

What?

On the bed, it's for you.

That way, you buy what you want.

Fuck! She's right, it is genetic.

The bitch, we are alike.

Tequila? Slammers?

Hold it!

Who invited that jerk, you?

He came with Romain.

Well he's outta here!

Stop it!

Avoid him, come and dance.

I can't dance.

What are you doing?

You scared me.

What's with the bottle?

Your dad said to help myself.

Oh yeah?

- I found this. - You've got nerve...

What's up?

You okay, Lulu?

Is that your mom?

Lucille?

So, happy now?

Hey, I'm talking to you!

Unhappiness doesn't entitle meanness to everyone else.

Lulu...

What's that?

It was in the cellar.

Your mom?

She's pretty.

I never saw her smile like that.

Look.

Yeah, she does seem happy.

And her tits, they're huge!

I'd never seen them before.

Eases digestion, anti-spasmodic, laxative...

Perfect for me.

So, I no longer need this, but this...

is just right.

Then...

one capsule after meals, 3 times a day...

You have really big boobs.

Really!

Where did the Tahitian go?

She just vanished?

But if she once smiled, maybe she can again?

It's stuck.

Come on, help me.

We'll never manage, best wait for your dad.

Sure we will!

Let me try.

That's it.

Pull!

Hey, we did it!

- You laughed! - Where are the fuses?

Mom, you laughed.

Where are they?

Are you crazy!

It was just for fun.

It's not funny, it's dangerous!

Want to kill yourself?

Now I can't see a thing.

I wanted to kill you,

bitch.

Anyhow, it's obvious. You're not my mother.

'Cos my mother is...

Jane Birkin.

Any ideas for supper?

Maybe buttered scones and strawberry jam?

What do you say?

Why not pudding and custard?

Yes, that'd be lovely!

Right a bit.

Good, now accelerate.

Antoine, she's too young.

This is not wise.

Don't worry.

You'll miss your train.

- So, how did you meet? - I'm sure it was October '86.

October, November, who cares?

Just agree!

I began training in your Gran's company

and she introduced us on October 1 7,

as I recall, in her office.

So, an arranged marriage, no love...

Watch the road.

I loved your mom at first sight.

And you, Mom?

Concentrate.

Sometimes I can't help it.

I imagine her victim of a terrible accident.

Stone dead!

Off for a sex tour in Taiwan?

Lulu!

I would if I were you.

Coming?

Mind if I stay here?

I'm tired.

A walk would do you good.

I'm no picnic.

Don't be silly.

It's fine, darling, you just rest.

So, see you in a fortnight.

Have fun.

Who took this photo?

Lulu, I'm driving.

Take a glance, who took it?

Gimme that!

Was it a man?

Give me that photo.

Dad's gone, you can tell me.

Give me that!

Give it!

Mom! No need to go bananas!

That was when I put my coil back sideways.

What are you on about?

- Your mom. - It was an accident?

When she was born,

she was ugly.

Your uncle was cute.

But your mom was ugly as sin.

When did she become beautiful?

I may still have it.

What?

The coil, in the attic.

- You kept it? - Sure, you never know!

Help me out, I'll be all wrinkled.

You already are!

Mom had affairs before Dad?

Hand me my robe.

So, did she?

Lulu, I'm cold!

What's keeping you?

Not good?

I can't digest cream.

What can you digest!

Why do dogs always go to you?

Because she doesn't move.

Her dad was the same.

Daddy loved dogs.

We had three at home.

He'd sit me astride the biggest, like on a horse...

and hold me, so not to fall.

Remember, Mom?

So why don't you have a dog?

Because they die first.

And you wanted to be a vet...

Really?

She was far too sensitive.

You didn't even try?

No.

Silly old cow!

Juliette and Jacques?

We might find something awful!

Who's he?

Jacques, of course.

He looks kind of weird.

No, I think he's handsome.

Can't you get any sound?

I dunno.

Christ, it's your mom!

What a live wire!

You know that farm?

The guy's a vet!

That's too cute!

Be quiet.

- What's up? - No more.

Why?

It's my mom, I don't want to see.

- Lulu... - What?

- You're dying to. - No.

It's the photo!

- Bloody hell! - Shut up.

They made a fuck movie!

Can't you shut your damn mouth!

Hey! What's got into you?

Your prattling on drives me mad!

So she once was really happy...

The bitch.

Mom...

When you were twenty

before you met Dad...

Your father's mad passion for cranes...

He must have fifty, or even more.

Little Miss Secret.

You never kissed Dad like that.

Never mind screwing in the hay!

It's supernatural!

Jacques must've had super powers to make her smile that way.

Or he's dead.

Why?

Otherwise, she'd still be with him.

He probably got gored by a bull.

Mom never got over it, hence her stomach pains.

It figures, no?

I don't even know his surname.

Can't be many Jacques in Lavours.

We go there and find out!

Be a devil, let's go.

Come on, say yes.

Okay.

All melancholy and no joy...

I guess I'm a bit of a tom-boy...

I'm the spitting image of my dad...

He'd sing Di Doo Di Doo Dah...

When he'd take me to school

Other girls' boobs were so cool

While I was flat as a bloke

What a joke!

Jacques?

Lived here 20 years ago,

but I'm not sure.

Jacques what?

I dunno...

I think he lived on a farm.

Try the Perreard fellah.

The Perreard fellah?

Fr�d�ric Perreard. Only farm there is.

As you leave town, you can't miss it.

Thanks, pig!

Hello!

You okay?

Hello, madam.

Oh, sorry!

Can I help you?

I'm looking for Fr�d�ric Perreard.

That's me.

So, what brings you here?

Know a guy called Jacques?

Jacques?

Jacques Charlot?

I don't know his surname.

So what do you know?

That he once screwed my mother.

Juliette?

Do you know them well?

Well, I ought to...

I slept with both of them.

Sugar?

They were the ideal couple. I envied them.

I mean, their happiness,

as I knew it wouldn't be my lot in life.

We three sure did our share.

- Your share? - Of crazy stuff.

Ended up in jail.

Almost got comatose.

Happy memories.

Comatose?

From alcohol. We drank like fishes.

Smoked like chimneys. Hash, of course.

Of course.

Your mom still smokes?

Yeah.

The odd joint, to unwind.

Mind if I roll one?

So, if I've understood

Jacques is not your dad?

Only learnt of him last week.

Life is strange...

I thought those two would never part.

So who is your dad?

Know what became of Jacques?

He was studying to be a vet...

We lost touch when I met Serge.

Serge?

A guy I knew.

I followed him to Paris,

then came back here.

But why do you ask all this?

Juliette sent you?

Yes.

She's going to die, in a little while.

She wanted to see her old lovers again.

Really?

It's what the dying do.

Of course.

What's she dying of?

Lung cancer.

Due to the...

Of course...

What else!

For a pink wedge, movie question!

What movie character

can bring flowers back to life?

- Flowers back to life? - Think...

Use that little head.

- Man or woman? - Kind of a man.

- "Kind of"? - He doesn't have a...

Hey, we don't know that!

Is he white or black?

- Not black. - Then what?

He's green.

Jacques's voice, isn't it sensual?

I know, it's E. T.!

Gimme my wedge!

Darn, it fell.

But it hasn't fallen far.

Ladies and Gents, welcome to boobarama!

For a special live showing

of the world's most priceless titties!

And believe me, I'm an expert!

Lavours - Summer '8 1

Imagine, my first night with a man...

Where were you?

Shit, you scared me!

I was worried.

Really? You worry about me?

Where were you?

I slept with a guy

in a hay barn.

You did?

An all-night blow-job!

I forbid you to leave me alone.

There you are!

I looked all over...

Simon's dad is a guitarist!

Lulu!

You've got lousy taste.

We were just chatting.

You sicken me, it's...

Sickening? Are you jealous?

Is our Lulu jealous?

What! For that fruit face?

Then why are you mad?

I'm not. He just makes me want to puke!

Oh yeah?

A pity. He thinks you're sweet.

He does?

No, just kidding.

But at least I'm on to you.

Lulu has the hots for fruit face.

What about our trip to Lavours?

I've been. So take a hike!

Hello?

Yes, hello...

Are you Jacques Charlot?

Yes.

In fact, we got cut off.

Can I help you?

Yes, well... My name is Lulu.

Lulu...

Birkain!

And I'm calling because...

you look after animals, right?

I work at Saint-Martin Zoo, but...

Wow! At the zoo...

No, 'cos in fact, I'm a student...

of zoophilia, right.

And I'd like to meet you

as I'm doing a survey.

Tomorrow at 1 1 , at the drinks stand.

See you then.

Bye.

Bye.

Lulu.

What's come over you?

Nothing, why?

You're all dolled up.

You don't usually wear make-up.

Well, I am a woman.

So you do have a boyfriend.

Yes, I do.

What's he like?

Handsome?

Mom, I'll be late.

I know that perfume. What is it?

I swiped it from you.

I haven't worn that in 20 years.

Gotta go.

Good luck.

Hello.

Lulu?

Jacques Charlot.

Nice to meet you.

What can I get you?

A coffee.

Sir?

Nothing, thanks.

I can't drink.

Why can't you drink?

I'm just a fantasy.

There's lots I can't do.

What can you do?

Miss Birkain?

I'm Jacques. Are you Lulu?

No...

I mean, yes.

Those 20 years sure punched his clock!

You wanted to meet me?

It's because I'm doing...

a study... a survey on...

lions!

Yeah, lions in compounds...

in cages... fences, captivity.

Captivity, right.

It's not possible! He can't be the love of her life.

See how ugly he is!

Every day, same time,

same beer, same spot,

always alone, it's a nightmare!

Gonna have them meet?

No, why?

To give her back her smile.

Think seeing him will cure her?

That old shit sweeper?

Well it might vaccinate her.

When she sees the mug on him now

it might jump start her taste for life!

That's what I reckon.

At least try it.

Not on your life!

Bonds between mother and baby are so strong

that in case of death she refuses to abandon the body

and drags it around for days.

She remains depressive for a long period

just like a woman who has lost a child...

Mom,

maybe tomorrow we could both go out,

get a bit of air.

Where is there to go in this backwater?

I dunno...

Instead of TV we could visit the zoo,

for instance.

You know I hate animals in cages.

Bad tummy ache?

As you can see.

I'd like an appointment with Dr. Kasmi.

No, for my mother.

Yes, Juliette Gotchac.

Is the zoo near your surgery open on Wednesdays?

At three thirty.

No need, I know exactly what's wrong with me.

Now, out of the way.

So, what is it?

I've chronic proctocolitis.

- How can you be sure? - My medical dictionary.

All the symptoms match. Want to see?

No, no.

Listen, Mom...

If not for you,

then do it for me.

You worry about my health?

Of course.

Seeing you so unwell and listless,

I felt I must do something.

My daughter forced me to come.

I didn't want to, I know exactly what's wrong.

Madam...

it's actually quite worrying.

Yes, I know.

I'm not sure you do.

I'd like you to go to the hospital,

for a series of tests.

Hospitals wear me out. All that waiting around.

No, Madam.

You haven't understood, you have no choice.

This is serious.

You understand?

Yes.

Here Digit, isn't that yummy!

There you go, my beauty!

So, what do you say now?

See how ugly he's got?

You were in cuckoo land, he's just a loser.

Yep, the truth is out.

Don't talk to him.

Not a word, get it?

You gotta let go, honey.

And you, ape-man, you don't see her.

You don't know her.

She doesn't even exist.

That's it, perfect. He's leaving.

Forever... It's over.

Now you're vaccinated.

Feel it in your veins?

Mom...

Jacques!

Not like that!

The stupid cow!

What's she playing at?

Mom...

Mom?

Are you okay?

Sure.

What did he say?

Who?

The doctor.

He said that...

All is well.

Like you said, it's purely psychosomatic.

So I'll try my best

I promise.

Seeing him again?

I can no longer see in Mom's head.

I really screwed up this time.

Screwed up big time.

Here,

look at this one, it has a density.

A density? Meaning?

See? It's quite dense.

It's his.

I know it's his.

But why is it dense?

A malformed intestine, he prefers pellets to hay.

Stubborn as a mule.

Jacques...

May I?

Sure.

Yes, you're right, it is dense!

That's amazing!

So dick in Spanish is... Dickos!

I swear, she rolled the dung in her hands

and wide-eyed with wonder said:

"Yes, it is dense!"

And then she sniffed it!

She's off her rocker.

She invites you and then gets pissed.

Looks happy to me.

She's not happy, she's mad.

Your plan totally backfired.

Instead of vaccinating her

she's gone gaga for Quasimodo!

Didn't want her to smile?

No.

Dad's home tomorrow. I'm gonna tell him.

You can't do that.

- Yes, I can. - That's gross.

Keep your nose out! I'll do it my way.

Dad, a few things happened in your absence.

Mom got back together with Quasimodo.

And what's worse, it's all my fault!

I'm just garbage.

Don't overdo it. There's worse.

Wars, famines, incurable diseases...

Okay, I get it.

Got something to tell you, Dad.

I had the fright of my life on the plane.

Yeah, but I...

We hit an air pocket.

I don't know, it seemed to last forever.

I was stricken with terror.

For a few seconds

I thought my number was up.

So I thought of you...

And Mom of course.

And suddenly it hit me:

if I were to do it all again, I'd do just the same.

I wouldn't change my life...

for anything.

You understand?

What's all this?

Pretty, no?

They had to seal the upper windows due to air pressure.

Right, of course.

Only now, they fear Taiwanese magpies.

Birds?

In case they smash the windows...

So to prevent that,

they have a system of infrasound waves

all around the tower to...

This interests you?

Of course, why?

Dunno, it's just...

Dad, if you only knew.

She's not listening to you, but to her heart, the bitch!

It zaps any birds that approach the tower.

Come now...

Did you change your hair?

Something else?

No.

I must go away more often, does you good.

Don't be silly!

I'm not hungry!

I met him a few times.

Know why they split?

Lulu, stop pestering me with questions!

Why dig up the past?

And why won't you tell?

It's of no interest.

Yes it is, tell me!

So it was because of you.

Jacques wasn't good enough.

He was jobless, undependable, and ugly.

- Happy now? - I find him handsome.

I saw some photos.

Admit it, your Dad is in another league.

And Mom let you do it?

Your mother never had a will of her own.

If she had...

And it was for her own good.

Like not being a vet? For her own good!

Don't you realize?

You've always treated her like a piece of shit.

Is that so?

And you?

How do you talk to her? Nicely?

Are you sure?

Know what? We're alike.

That's how it is.

Character has jumped a generation.

Rubbish!

Lulu, that's enough. Let me be.

You sicken me!

Will you be quiet!

Think you scare me?

You can barely walk!

You're nothing, but an old biddy!

Out of my sight!

You gotta do something!

Loving you is a dead loss.

It's pathetic.

You gotta help me.

Yes, but how?

I dunno.

Improvise!

Like, say something nasty.

Go on.

You're fat and ugly.

That's no good.

What?

You're putting it on. It sucks!

You're fat, ugly and selfish!

A vicious little virgin,

who sings out of tune!

Bitch!

Stop!

Let go of him! Leave her alone.

Let's go home, your depression's waiting.

No! What are you doing here?

Can't I go to the zoo too?

Come on, let's go.

My daughter.

I know.

So you...

She organized it. Our reunion.

What?

She did it for you.

I was waiting...

The time was right.

Oh no, not again!

She's sick.

No, it's all in her head.

No, Lulu. She's really sick.

There you are...

No entry here. Admissions is that way.

You thought of her often?

You love her?

How'd you get that?

An asshole at school.

Often fight like that?

He taunts me.

- And you oblige. - Yeah, but...

Last month we got a female gorilla from San Diego Zoo.

Great.

We already have a couple, but they can't have babies.

How sad.

When we introduced her to the male, guess what?

He fucked her?

No.

He attacked her.

Really?

He had to assert his domination.

Then he fucked her.

Now they're inseparable.

The other female is history.

So that's a kind of metaphor.

Take it as you like.

I'm no female gorilla.

No, more the dominant male.

I'm looking for Mrs Gotchac...

Dad!

Not hungry?

It's not good?

Have no fear, Lulu.

She's in good hands, they'll look after her.

It's all my fault.

Seeing Jacques again was too big a shock.

And wham! She got cancer.

She'd been complaining for ages,

I should've paid more heed.

Yeah, that's true. So I'm not to blame.

Hold on...

But I...

No, it's not that...

I think I gotta pee.

I don't understand.

Me neither...

It won't go in.

- How about you on top? - I'm too heavy.

I'm sorry.

It's not just you, it's me too.

I'm all clammed up.

Wanna fight?

No!

They're tiny,

like that.

A male and a female, clinging to their mommy.

Oh, didn't I tell you?

What?

As they were born I chose their names.

So?

- It's "J" year. - No!

Jacques and Juliette Baboon!

Excuse me, Sir?

Could you help me sit up?

Of course.

Hello.

Okay, my love?

I left early, to be with you.

How do you feel?

Fine.

I've arranged for home care.

You'll be out real soon.

I'll take care of you, you'll see.

No more travelling, I'll not leave your side.

Michel and Baya wanted to see you.

I said to wait till you were home.

It's wiser.

Anything I can do?

Then I guess I'll be leaving.

Goodbye, Baby Lou.

Hey, wasn't that Jane Birkin?

Goodbye.

He's 60 and not a bother on him.

Even though the doctors

didn't think chemotherapy would work.

But he had faith in it and it did.

Believing is half the battle.

Okay, everyone out! Party's over!

Mom is tired, let's go!

But Lulu...

Dad, it's treatment time.

Finish your tea downstairs.

Can I help?

Like to see him?

Don't worry, I can manage.

I could take some time off...

No, you have to work. I'll handle it.

And school?

It's not everyday your mom has cancer.

Lulu!

Hurry, you'll be late.

Have a nice day, Dad.

The coast is clear.

Sorry about the d�cor.

20 years of depression.

Well, if you need anything...

dial zero for room service.

Bye Dad, work well.

But you...

Trust me, I'm doing fine.

Off you go!

My three months of crazy schemes kept Dad at bay.

And Jacques came almost every day.

I'd never seen Mom so happy.

That one?

Koala.

That's koala.

See the difference? The other was goat.

Not the same species.

Remember?

You never wanted to visit the Science Museum, so why now?

'Cos it interests me.

All of a sudden?

Yeah, because...

I think I want to...

become an engineer.

Yeah, like you.

Like father like daughter!

Coming?

Juliette!

I borrowed it!

Craziest of all, Mom's happiness rubbed off on everyone.

Dad!

Oops a daisy!

Careful...

Off we go!

How old was I?

Four... And the cutest little skater.

Hanging on to me for dear life...

Four is young to roller skate.

Did you know the Taj Mahal is on rollers?

A hundred at each corner with a system of bearings.

A team of four oxen could...

- Move it... - Dad, stop.

You don't have to make up stories for me.

Dad...

Go on, I'm real interested in the Taj Mahal.

It's fascinating.

I didn't mean to...

How many oxen did you say, to move it?

I know she hasn't loved me for a long time.

Four oxen, no eight!

Four on each side.

Right.

And the Great Pyramid?

Eighteen camels!

How did I go without it for so long?

And what's more, it's therapeutic.

Don't make me laugh, or I'll die!

I understood then, how for 20 years,

one could pine for a great love lost.

Lulu...

What was that for?

Nothing, I just felt I had to.

You're right, feel free.

And then one day

Jacques vanished.

So then,

I wanted to tell you...

I'm leaving you.

Really?

Yes.

I don't feel like...

getting too involved right now.

I feel I'm not ready.

Me neither. You're right, we're too immature.

That's it! We're too young.

It's been very pleasant.

But we need to broaden our horizons.

Maybe we'll meet again in twenty years?

Maybe.

No regrets.

No regrets.

Jacques...

Lulu.

Lucille...

Mom!

What are you doing?

Mom?

My name is Lucille.

And in my head a billion things do reel.

Subtitles: Peter Leonard

Subtitling: LVT - Paris