Original subtitles

Yes, Mr. Fan

This inventor...

What's his name again?

Qin Fen

Qin as in Qin Dynasty

Fen as in "to struggle"

He's waiting in the living room

Show him to the dining room

Yes, sir

This is Mr. Fan, angel investor

Mr. Qin, inventor of the CRT2008

Shall we speak English

or Chinese?

Your decision

Whichever is more natural

Then let's use our mother tongue

Nice to meet you

Our mother tongue?

Oops. Look at me

So used to English, I forgot my own language

So nice to meet you

A pleasure

Sit down

Sir, please

Give me the specifics

This invention of yours...

what inspired it?

The root of the world's endless wars

and escalating conflicts

is our inability

to judge disputes impartially

Continue

As children, we all played a game:

Rock, paper, scissors

You've played it?

Uh-huh

It's our most primal and effective

conflict resolution method

So, why, as adults

have we discarded this method?

Why?

Two critical flaws:

Hand velocity differential and

last-minute sleight of hand

Sleight of hand

Rock, papers, scissors

A cunning hand

can cheat

The Conflict Resolution Terminal

wipes out both flaws

Hold it here

Stick your hand in

Not your head. Your hand

Let's try it

Rock. Paper. Scissors

Ready?

Yes

Pull it open at the count of three

One

Two

Three

Fascinating

It's cheat-proof

You invented this?

I did

Just imagine

For instance

this beautiful girl here

If we both wanted her, but...

Don't even think about it

It was hypothetical

If we all had Conflict Resolution Terminals

the wars in the Balkans and Middle East

American presidential elections

to elect a white or black President

Win or lose

The tube decides

Super good

The CRT2008 is useful in all aspects of life

It's a revolutionary product

Say no more

This will be a massive high-tech IPO

I'll buy the patent

Name a price

Two million

One million

Two million

One million

Let's do this

Let the CRT2008 decide

Good idea

Rock. Paper. Scissors

Ready? Yes

One. Two. Three

Resolved

You got yourself a deal

I meant US dollars

Huh. I meant Sterling

Marriage Personal

Looking for hot guys? Don't bother

No gold-diggers either

To avoid mutual disappointment

PhD's need not reply

Women entrepreneurs need not reply

Parentheses: tradeswomen and peddlers excepted

Perfect men like Andy Lau and Tom Cruise

won't be seeking you here

Nor do I expect to find Julia Roberts

Even if you were a goddess

I couldn't handle you

I'm not expecting a cover-girl

to blow me away with your beauty

Just a sane, healthy woman

Modern on the outside

traditional on the inside

Slightly demure would be ideal

Don't be too complicated

Don't be too young

Proficiency in folding laundry a plus

Preferably pressed and folded

like they just came off the store shelf

Am I being specific?

Let me introduce myself

I'm no longer young

Solidly middle-class

Smoke, but don't drink

Went abroad to study

Lived overseas for a decade

Never really studied much

I slacked and learned a few survival skills

I've returned without accomplishment

Truthfully

I'm what they call

a "Three Strikes" returnee:

No company. No stocks. No degree

Morally, I'm about 50-50

I'm no angel

just too cowardly to do wrong

All in all, I'd classify myself as

a constructive member of society

If interested, please call

I hope you're the one

Shan-shan

May I join you?

I'm expecting someone

You haven't changed much

Still handsome

You got the wrong guy

I'm Jianguo

From the construction company

I changed that much?

You don't recognize me?

Hey

From administration

Transferred from the army arts troupe

I was in logistics

Anyway, in charge of entertainment

Back then, you were a cute little boy

I remember you had single eyelids

How'd they get doubled?

Had them done in Korea

Gee, what a coincidence

Run into each other ten years later

What coincidence?

I made a date with you

A date with me?

Uh

Ai Moli

Molly

Like the name of this restaurant

I changed my name

I wanted to surprise you

Trying to get in my way?

My ad was for a marriage partner

I wanted to see you

Besides

you didn't write

"No men wanted"

Of course I didn't

Why would I seek a man?

I'm not gay

You're...

Yes

Huh?

But I'm not

How do you know?

I used to think so too

But later I realized

I just lacked the courage to face it

Do you remember

the labor union field trip to Shi Du?

My leg cramped

when I was swimming

You rescued me

That's right

I held onto you tightly

You kept comforting me

Every since then, I felt

so safe with you

When I don't see you

I want to...

Hey-hey-hey

You

are ahead of the curve

But I

am not that enlightened yet

Then why have you not married yet?

Haven't found the right one

Give me a break

Perhaps, subconsciously you dislike women

Oh... No-no-no

Do you think I'm strange?

No

Absolutely not

I constantly ask myself:

Why am I so narrow-minded?

With such a big heart

why can't I make room for a man?

Each time I clear a woman out

guess what happens next?

Another woman fills in the space

Let me ask you something

Suppose

I were like you

I said "suppose"

Don't be angry if I get this wrong

You're bad

Forget it. I better shut up

I know what you want to say

Deep down

you're like my big brother

It's probably better that way

Brother

Yes?

You have great skin

So white

What's your first impression of me?

Much as I expected

Frankly

looks aren't important

It's the inside that counts

Someone kind, and good to his parents

Even if I didn't like you

I'm sure you'll find a good wife

You really are a modern-traditional woman

A rare catch

Your parents still in good health?

My father passed away last year

My mother is still alive

I came back, so she wouldn't be alone

How old is she?

In her seventies

Your father...

Where is he buried?

At Eight Treasure Mountain

His urn is in the ossuary

Your mother is getting old

A filial son should give his parents

a good resting place

Old people are fussy about final resting places

Don't you worry

I would never deprive them

A man should be responsible

and filial

Even if he doesn't make much money

he provides for his parents' needs

Now that's a reliable man

Tell the truth

Are you such a man?

I think I am

No, you're not

You keep your father's ashes in a tiny box

And how about when your mother dies?

Going to squeeze them both

into a little box?

Not even enough room for incense

and ghost money at Grave Sweeping Festival

You call that filial?

Then, I'll buy them a cemetery plot

It's not that I can't afford it

Just that when I left China

only national heroes could afford a grave

Normal folk's ashes were kept on shelves

Don't worry

You find a spot with a nice view

I'll take care of it immediately

If you and I get along

I'll have your tombstone carved in advance

No way you'll be stored on a shelf

It really is a great investment

Just thirty thousand yuan gets you

a grave plot with imperial fengshui

Thirty thousand

Price of a return trip to America

In just a few years, the same plot

will be worth three hundred thousand

By the time you sell it

you'll have made 1000% profit

Hold on

If I sell it

where will my parents go?

You can buy two

If you buy two plots, my company

will give you a 5% discount

Miss Liang?

Yes

I'm Qin Fen

Sorry, I was late

Have a seat

I never expected...

What?

Nothing

What's your line of work?

I'm a flight attendant

Which airline?

Hainan Airline

How would you grade yourself?

Six

Only six?

I'd give you a Nine

You've met a few already?

You mean these personals?

Uh

You're the first

Oh

Myself, I've met a couple

You're the first as beautiful as you

This one girl wasn't bad

But she was selling grave plots

She doesn't count

The rest were critically unkosher

Did you buy?

Huh?

The grave plots

Yes

She sweet-talked me

Called me a filial son

If I didn't buy, I'd ruin my reputation

No wife, but got myself a grave

I read your marriage ad.

I think you're very funny

Not like the others, so full of themselves

Or who write a load of sentimental crap

It's disgusting

I'll be totally honest with you

And I'm not trying to flatter you

But judging by your looks

I'd rank you at the "goddess" level

You must have high standards

You're not selling airplanes, are you?

Graves are one thing

But I can't afford airplanes

Why "no women entrepreneurs"?

They're too practical

I prefer more emotional types

What's wrong with being practical?

These days, most people are practical

My mom and friends all advise me

to be more practical

That's why I'm here meeting you

To learn to be more practical

Then you got the wrong guy

I'm definitely not the type you're seeking

How do you know my type?

I don't even know what type is

Being here seems so unreal

But I did telephone you

I'm the one who asked you out

You mean you're not serious

You were confused and regret meeting me

A little

Don't be mad

It's not because of you

I think I'm a bit ridiculous

Then we should stop here

It's good we're direct. Simpler

We won't waste each other's time

You busy?

Not at all

But we don't have any hope

Then, go ahead

I'll sit here awhile

Okay

See you later, then

Good-bye Wait, that's not right

We won't see each other again

In that case...

"Farewell" isn't correct either

You really are a pain

What we mean is...

See you never

Hey

Feel like a drink?

We can go somewhere nearby

and chat a little more

Why?

Chat about what?

You a shill for a restaurant

posing as a lonely woman?

Enough, already

I didn't suspect you of a crime

So, don't be suspicious of me

In truth, I am a criminal

I was worried you weren't

You drink like a wimp

It won't kill you

Drink up. No one's stopping you

Keep talking

Heard of "love at first sight"?

I loved the first sight of you

We're not even "love at third sight"

Love at first sight doesn't mean

I fall for you when I see you

Or that you fall for me

It's not about sight

But smell

The other person's scent attracts you

Enchants you

Some people are made for each other

So, two strangers rush up

and sniff each other up and down?

Is that possible?

It's not like that

If you're made for each other

you'd sense each other from far away

Ever watch "Animal Planet"?

Yes

Even from dozens of miles away

animals can sense each other

People are just like animals

Are you only attracted by one smell?

Animals don't fixate on just one lover

or type

It's a mutual thing

It's not just attraction, but

a kind of infatuation

Anything else repels you

Then why come all this way to bother me?

Infatuated, but you can't be together

You struggle to break free from it

You're torn apart by heartache

You drink yourself to sleep each night

The man has a family

He loves you, but can't marry you

Your parents don't know

It hurts, but you can't share it

I can't tell anyone

Then why tell me?

I couldn't take it anymore

I was hurt too badly

Anyway, I won't see you again

Who cares what you think of me

Then I should charge a fee

He has all the fun

and I get a miserable woman

Since when are we best buddies?

Take as much as you want

But I'm paying you to drink up

You can't just sip

I really can't drink

I'll accompany you for free

So, don't drink

I told you one of my secrets

You should also tell me something

you can't admit to anyone else

Then we'll be even

Why are you so complicated?

Fine, don't tell me

I don't care, anyway

Let it rot in your stomach

And I thought you were a big man

Based on what you've got

dare you ask for a sentimental woman

We won't see each other again?

Nope

Know why I don't drink?

Aren't you drinking now?

A friend and I ran a travel agency in America

We specialized in Chinese groups

Once, we had a government tour group

Led by a bureau director

A very juicy gig

There was a woman named Xiaobai

A translator

Pretty. The quiet type

I had her in my sights the moment they landed

During the trip

I started to fall for her

Later on

we, you know...

What?

We, uh...

got intimate

Afterwards, she cried

Wanted me to help her stay in America

I agreed without a second thought

I really liked her

Besides, it was easy for me

The next day I told my friend

that I was with Xiaobai

I asked him to help me

keep Xiaobai in America

He freaked out

Said, Absolutely not

We'd got the job because of

his connection with the bureau director

If they left someone behind

the director would be disciplined

Besides screwing the director

it could also kill our business

If I insisted on her staying

I think my friend would killed me

So, you two sold her out

Let me finish

I had to beg my friend

I'd make sure she didn't run for it

But he had to promise not to report her

When we saw them off at the airport

Xiaobai just stared at me

With eyes like daggers

Couldn't even look at her

I was so ashamed

That's your secret?

This year

the director heard I was back

He invited us to dinner

The people from the tour group came too

Only person missing was Xiaobai

I made a lot of small talk

then casually asked about Xiaobai

They said, You don't know?

Soon after she returned, she killed herself

My head just exploded

I asked, What happened?

He said

Her husband was abusive

Beat her all the time

She kept trying to divorce him

She'd planned to stay in America

But she failed

Even got reported

She returned completely hopeless

So, I asked my friend

if he'd reported her

He said, Yes

Said he couldn't trust me

So he told the director

That day

I beat up my friend

I drank a lot

Until finally

I was sprawling on the floor

grabbing people's legs and crying

Why'd you beat him?

You're the one who killed her

You're despicable

After that day

every time I drink, I remember her

Later, I just quit drinking

But you had to make me drink

and spill my rotten guts

We even?

Now you know what I'm made of

You can go now

Leave

So, if we get married

I have to go live with your family?

Can I refuse?

There's something you need to know

What?

My aunt has a bad memory

How bad?

She can remember today's events

By tomorrow, it's all gone

Is your home far?

How do I get there?

First you fly to Kunming

Then a day's bus ride to Mengzi

Then another bus to Pingbian

Then a day by tractor

Another day by ox cart

and you're home

She can't remember things

And people?

Nope

Not even people?

But she writes all important events

and people in her notebook

If you two marry

she'll read it every morning

and recall who you are

Qin Fen

You're tired already?

Keep playing

If it doesn't work out

Can we divorce?

My big brother will break your legs

Sister

Don't record that

Best to forget what happened today

What we're talking about?

You like it here in Haikou?

It's great

Sunny, no pollution, tropical

I've been here two years

I play golf, swim, dive

Never felt healthier

Gotta take care of yourself

Uh

How are the blind dates?

Still blind

Let me fix you up

Yes For real

A really good person

If I weren't married

I'd marry her myself

I used to be married

My husband passed away

When?

Just recently

How long were you together?

Is this...

very important to you?

Of course

If you were deeply in love

After all, his bones are barely cold yet

Seven or eight years

You must be hurting

Compared to before

I feel much better now

These past five years

didn't even know where he slept at night

I finally know where he is

You found him a spot

Yanchun Ridge Cemetery

Whenever I need him, he's there

If he runs away now

you should get your money back

How old are you?

Fifty?

No

Forty-something

I look older, don't I?

That's okay

I like older men

How's your health?

On the weak side

That's great

Don't bother exercising

If you get sick, I'll nurse you

You don't want a strong

healthy body?

You prefer a soft marshmallow?

Soft marshmallows taste better

An old, sickly guy

You're not worried about marriage quality?

At your age...

Let me be frank

You're at your sexual peak

You believe the foundation for love is sex?

Not entirely

But love without sex

is not love

That would be friendship

I don't agree

What's wrong with no sex?

Many people grow old together without it

I don't mean to imply

no sex at all

Just

not too frequently

Tell me

What's your idea of

"not too frequently"?

Ideally speaking...

Yes?

Once a month?

Once a year

If you agree

we can meet again

I don't agree

I know why your husband never came home

If we got married

I'd be hard to find too

A real pity

Is sex really all that interesting?

Oh, yeah

Sorry, I couldn't answer just now

Smiley

Please don't get angry, but...

My wife and I

will be on the same flight as you

Can't you change your ticket?

I just found out

She booked it ages ago

I never expected it would be your flight

You know I care about you

I have to attend my brother's wedding

I just hope you can

make sure she doesn't see you

It would be better

How should I do that?

It's an airplane cabin

and you're seated in first class

Where should I hide myself?

You can't treat me like this

Welcome to Grand China Air

Welcome to Grand China Air

Boarding pass, please

Smiley Liang

It really is you

Old foes meet again

Please take your seat

and don't block the aisle

Welcome to Grand China Air

Hello. This way, please

Welcome to Grand China Air

Boarding pass, please

This way on the left

Thank you

Welcome to Grand China Air

Boarding pass, please

This way, sir

Please hurry and take your seat

Sir, as soon as possible

We're about to close the door

Please sign this

Here

I'll sign it

Thank you

Hi, I'll get that for you

Please take your seat

Hot towel

Something to drink?

Miss?

If there is an empty seat

I'd like to sit with my husband

Sorry

First class is full today

But I'd be happy to look in economy

My husband and I booked this flight

Why aren't we seated together?

Next time you can arrive earlier

to have your boarding passes changed

The computer doesn't know

you're husband and wife

I'll switch with you

No one should split up a married couple

Young comrade

I know you're not responsible for ticketing

But you should listen to customer feedback

and submit our suggestions to your superiors

The key to improving customer service

is paying attention to details

Please, sir. C'mon

No point in troubling you

It's a short flight

We're about to take off

If you're going to switch seats

please do it soon

It's no trouble

I'm already up. Go ahead

Please

Thank you

Please fasten your seat belts Thank you

Ladies and gentlemen

we'll be taking off shortly

To ensure your safety, please check

that your seat belts are fastened

and that all cell phones are turned off

Thank you

We're already taxiing

Whatever it is, can wait

Just wanted to remind you

for your own safety

to fasten your seat belt

So, that gentleman is the little runt

you can't live without?

Please don't interrupt my work

Some things just aren't meant to be

I'll be in Hangzhou for a few days

If you're flying to Beijing

call me if you feel like a drink

I can be your non-fatal drinking buddy

When outsiders imagine Hangzhou

they often think of West Lake

What they don't know is that

a mere 5 kilometers away

is a rare environmental treasure

Here is China's first wetlands national park:

West Brook Wetlands

An exiled Song Dynasty emperor

happened upon these wetlands

Like me, he was enchanted

He wanted to build his temporary palace here

But due to lack of funds

the project was abandoned

The night before he had to leave

the Emperor said:

West Brook, may you remain here

And thus it earned its eternal name

The home we're seeing today

is in Remain Here Town

I trust you'll want to stay too

The Emperor would have stayed

But he was broke

All that remained were his words

But I've brought cash

If I like the place

my whole life will remain here

This is your foyer

Your living room

Your master bedroom

And this is your private pond

Hey, take it easy

Stop saying "your" living room, "your" bedroom

"your" private pond

I don't know if I'm buying yet

I'm sure you've seen better homes

But no amount of money could

buy an environment like this

Hello?

I was in a lousy mood yesterday

So I took a day off and stayed in Hangzhou

Drank half a bottle of wine to get to sleep

Slept in the whole morning

Woke up not knowing what to do

If you're not busy

care to join me for a chat?

That's fine, but

I've got another blind date

You came all the way to Hangzhou?

Really casting a wide net

Can't leave any stone unturned

Better to kill a thousand innocents

than set one guilty person free

Well, I'm not busy

Take me along. I'll consult for you

How should I introduce you?

Say we already dated

but you rejected me?

Say we're drinking buddies

Or, don't introduce me at all

I'll just sit nearby and drink tea

I'll advise you afterwards

I won't get in your way

Sounds good

But I'm warning you:

If I find a suitable match

if we dig each other's smell

you're not my responsibility

Don't call me a fair-weather friend

Relax

If that happens

I'll be overjoyed for you

See you

Hey, miss

How much does this place cost?

Don't mind me

You are not from here

I'm Taiwanese

My father owns a factory in Hangzhou

We're here for the time being

Ever been to Beijing?

Of course

Which do you prefer?

That's a difficult question

For weather and living environment

Hangzhou, of course

But I quite like Beijingers

My grandfather is from Beijing

I love hearing his accent

What is go-ING on'?

The accent is the last word

Not the first word

What is going ON'

What is going ON'

What is going on'

Later on

my grandfather went to Taiwan with the Nationalists

after the Mainland had fallen

Hold on there

We call it "liberated"

You say "fallen"

we say "liberated"

Liberated?

What does "liberated" mean?

Liberated

I get it

The difference between liberated and fallen

is just one's point-of-view

Right, that's it

We can agree to disagree

Exactly

There are some universal values

For instance

compassion is to love all beings

After the recent earthquake

Taiwanese all rushed to provide relief

Mainland Chinese were very moved

My father's company donated too

It pained us to see fellow Chinese suffering

Especially children who lost their parents

Poor things

There was a dying mother on the news

To her last breath, she breast-fed her child

Even after dying, she was still nursing

Maternal love knows no bounds

A mother can sacrifice anything for her child

Dads too

Even if it wasn't my child

I could adopt one of those orphans

You have such deep love for children?

Yes

If you were an orphan

I'd adopt you too

Idealists really do have bad memories

I told you

my father has a factory here

But don't despair

I have one in my belly

You can be his father

Thought you weren't married?

I'm not

But

I'm pregnant

Whose is it?

Not worth mentioning

He abandoned the darling in my belly

I don't want the child to be fatherless

So

I'm seeking a loving father for him

You're a good candidate

Uh, well

Do you like me?

I like you a lot

but...

You said you didn't care if it was your own

If we don't tell him

and the child only knows you

He would be just like your own

An orphan, I can accept

But with a full set of parents?

You can't just put a Mercedes ornament

on the hood of a BMW

It will still be a good car

But if it breaks down

Mercedes parts won't fit

and BMW won't repair it

We should forget it

I'm flattered you like me

But I'm not the right man

I'll have to bite the bullet

What a perfect opportunity

How could you be so heartless?

Seemed like a great fit

Look

She's beautiful

wealthy

and you get a son for free

For a guy like you

it's like winning the lottery

Normally, I don't mind free lunches

but starting a family

requires self-reliance

No foreign aid accepted

I think

this blind date thing

isn't too kosher for me

I have no appetite for ugly ducklings

but the good-looking ones are

either hiding something or hate sex

Where'd the simple, sane women all go?

Why can't I meet even one?

What are you saying about me?

Think your sane and uncomplicated?

Oh, not you. You're not good-looking

Calling you "good-looking" would be an insult

You're ravishingly beautiful

A rare, precious beauty

If you were royalty you'd be up there with Diana

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

But, no exaggeration

even to a foe, you'd be beautiful

Don't hold it in. Laugh

I need to ask you something

I sat with you through your date

Accompany me to meet someone?

I didn't ask you to come

You invited yourself

Will you or won't you?

No

I'm asking you one more time

No

Fine

Good-bye

This is Mr. Qin

You met on the flight

Nice to meet you

Have a seat

Sit here

Excuse us

We'll need some privacy

Okay

Thanks

Mr. Qin and I knew each other before

Just acquaintances

But meeting again on the flight

something sparked between us

Perhaps it was "love at second sight"

After we landed, Mr. Qin called me

He asked me to stay a few more days

to become better acquainted

We've been together the past two days

We feel fortunate to have met again

You're the person closest to me

So I brought him here

to introduce you formally

It's right that you should know

Not going to wish us well?

You always wanted me to have a home

Smiley told me a lot about you

Said you treat her very well

Meeting you on the airplane seemed like fate

You've made your decision?

Mr. Qin

Perhaps you know about

Smiley and me

I'm not as lucky as you

I entrust her to you, good brother

Be good to her

She's stubborn. I spoiled her

Be patient with her

If she's unhappy

I'll be unhappy too

Alright, this scene is over. I can't take it

I'll be leaving now

I know it's difficult for you to meet

Smiley and I are just ordinary friends

You're the only one she cares about

You're the lucky one

She drinks everyday because of you

It could kill her if she keeps it up

I can't go on like this

I'm weak and ashamed

I will use my mind and body

all of me

to do something to make you regret

Stop drinking

Smiley

I have not betrayed you

How could I ever punish you?

You asked me to wait three years

I waited

You won't want me

But I will care about you

until that day we agreed upon

I thought I could love you my whole life

I never thought our time together

could one day end

One, two, three

One, two, three

One, two, three

One, two, three

I stopped drinking

Don't worry. Smiley

Surname Qin

"Qin" as in Emperor Qin

Fen as in "to struggle"

Smiley

I got your text message

"Smiley" as in "smiles hiding knives"

Correct

I called twice

but you didn't answer

Call me

Yeah

At the place we met the first time

I already said it eight times: five o'clock

Yeah, that's right

Be there or be square

Pardon me

I've got two dates

Please don't mind my efficiency

No problem

I'm a stock trader

A real bear market lately

Using my spare time

to find a husband

Once the market turns around

I won't have time

Do you play the stock market?

No

Don't understand it

Seeking a marriage partner is like trading stocks

You have to make your decisions based on

a rational analysis of performance

For instance, the candidate's looks or body figure

Or, his personality and education

Or, his finances and family background

Or

So...

if I were a stock

how would I rate?

Judging from age and looks

you've sunk below your offer price

So, I'm in danger of being delisted?

Not necessarily

Inexperienced traders often buy high

But that's very risky

It's very easy to get trapped

More experienced traders buy low

A stock like you with bad performance

most won't touch you

Few would show interest

Thus you're a low risk

You're already at the bottom

Can't go any lower

So, for a stock like me bought low

would you invest long-term

or just "pump and dump"?

Pump and dump?

Do you have explosive potential?

I'd buy long-term and hold it

What if you held it for a while

but found its performance lacking?

Don't worry

I'm not stupid. I'd diversify

They can't all underperform, right?

No one's that unlucky

Hello?

You're here?

I'm here

I see you

Wait for me

Order whatever you like. It's on me

I feel obligated to warn you:

I'm very risky

Best to keep your distance

If you got stuck with me

I'd be useless and unsightly

Might never be able to get rid of me

As an investment

I'd be subprime

Only a criminal would sell me to you

Let's stop trading for today

I also have another stock to see

at six o'clock

Go ahead and chat with her

The whole market is down right now

But don't jump in blindly

Don't rush it

Wait and see

Did I interrupt anything?

She wasn't interested

Said I'd dropped below my offer price

Poor thing

Old guy on the dating scene

getting his pride injured

Spare me the alligator tears

So

what's up?

I want to become your girlfriend

Which type of girlfriend?

The kind you marry

Why?

You knocked up, too?

I'm not in a mood for joking

I have just one condition

What?

While we're dating or even married

I'll fulfill all the duties of a wife

but you'll allow me to have someone else in my heart

I won't do anything

I'll just keep a space for him in my heart

I might miss him from time to time

But it won't be anything more than that

I'll never contact him

Can you accept this?

Your body is here

but your heart is elsewhere

You can refuse

I know it's unfair

Then, is it okay with you

if my heart is here

but my body occasionally has a fling?

No

Well, what if when your heart drifts away

my heart drifts away too?

Fine

But our bodies are faithful to each other

Come here

Then, I'll need to find someone else too

Otherwise, you'll have one and I won't

I'd be at a huge disadvantage

Then, you agree?

Yes

Will you go with me to Hokkaido?

He and I started there

I'd like to end it there too

Are you bubbling with joy?

Wu Sang

Haven't changed in ten years

Look just like a Hokkaido peasant

Except a bit more devious

This is Smiley

This is the Wu Sang I told you about

Married a Hokkaido wife and never left

Ms. Liang, honored to be of service to you

Thank you

I'll get that

Thanks

This way

Wu Sang

What are those arrows for?

Ms. Liang

you've been here before

You must know why. Tell him

Hey

Hey

He asked you a question

What?

Those arrows pointing down

Know what they mean?

Hokkaido gets heavy snow in winter

The arrows point to the road's edge

so drivers don't hit the curb

Ah

I see

Did I say it right?

Yes

You learned that from him, right?

Let's have a good time here

You're my boyfriend now

Let's not mention him

Okay?

I'm not used to it yet

It's like my wallet is full of borrowed money

After I spend it, I'll be in debt

Hey, Wu Sang, stop the car

I need to go worship

Don't know what he's saying

No chance today

Why not?

The temple's closed to the public today

No worshipping for you

Well, talk to him

Tell him we came from China

just for today

Have you done something wrong?

I thought you were atheist

Why so suddenly pious?

I found religion

God sent me such a beautiful wife

I'd be rude not to burn some incense

Hey

I'm not your wife yet

Besides, a Japanese Buddha can't help you

Blasphemy

Buddha has no nationality

Hokkaido is my land of fortune

I'll pray to every Buddha I find here

Go talk to him

Okay, okay

In honor of your incredible luck with Ms. Liang

I'll talk to him for you

Why are we being frisked?

It's the funeral of an influential family

Then, let's get out of here

You kidding?

We can't go now

Stop peeking

Act mournful

Did you really cry?

No laughing

You didn't cry?

I saw you cry too

I tried to keep the tears in

Just couldn't hold them any longer

These Japanese must think we Chinese

are really loyal friends

We're not even family, but

we came all this way to cry our eyes out

Practically forced our way in

Neither of you better piss me off

I'm a mafia guy now

You knew this was a funeral

What are you complaining about?

You just had to go in

You're truly adorable

Excuse me

Which way to Hinanoza Hotel?

Straight ahead

Turn right and you'll see it

Thank you

Very easy to find

It's just up ahead

That says "Four Sisters-What?"

Four Sisters dining bar

How are we going to sleep?

You two in one room

You and I can share a room

Catch up on old times

Cut the pretense

A beauty like her and you want to be in my room?

It's not a pretense

We're not that close yet

I'm not the one she loves

Wishing you a pleasant rest

Thank you

Here, try this

It's fishy

Penetrating

Stimulating

Try it

I'm already over-stimulated

What I need now is numbness

Best part about drinking

is the numbness

Can't drink on an empty stomach

Try these clams

I need to get numb too

If your dreams had not been shattered

I'd never be talking marriage with you

My life's been no easier than yours

How can you allow your girlfriend

to have someone else in her heart?

Why do you like me?

Did I say I liked you?

Be honest

It our basis for being together in the future

My basis for marrying you is that

I can't find anyone more foolish

I'll never be so foolish again

You are incapable

of splitting your heart in half

You're a terrible actor

Your feelings are writ across your face

Here's what I think

You're not over him yet

But once you are

your heart will be whole again

That's why I tolerate you right now

You're a fool, but I'm not

If I learn my lesson and get smart

will it ruin your beautiful plan?

In that case

I'll sell you to the local tribesmen

You'll hunt and fish for the rest of your life

And have a slew of babies

Scorched by the sun, drenched in rain

Half-starving, in tattered clothes

If you try to escape

they'll catch you and beat you

Three tortuous years from now

you'll be an ugly, repulsive, wizened old hag

I'm just getting started

Wanna hear more?

I'm only fooling around with you

because you're pretty

Can you accept that?

You up to it?

In the game of emotional counterfeit

you think you're my match?

I'll bet

you couldn't even tell

if I had eight other women in my heart

I've got nothing to lose

You don't care about me

So, I just take what you're giving away

What are you guys so upset for

Getting on my case

If I didn't say something nasty, she'd never stop

You really are serious

Sit down

Let her go

What a perfect opportunity

After this drink, you should

invite Smiley to the hot spring with you

What friend would do that?

And abandon you here?

Spare me

This time, I'm serious about marrying her

I can't be reckless

She'd never give me her body

before she gave me her heart

But, then

once she gives you her heart

your body is sentenced for life

So, I should enjoy freedom while I can

What do you like about her?

She has a good soul

Oh, please

You like her because she's pretty

What's wrong with that?

I should deprive my children of good genes?

Must I marry someone ugly?

Spend the life trying to escape?

Which of these four is prettiest?

They're all charming

Natsuyo. She's pretty

I say Haruko

Sorry to disturb you

May we come in?

Welcome

Please, come in

So few customers

It's still early

Please, sit

Ask Natsuyo and Haruko to drink with us

I am Natsuyo

And that's Haruko

She is Akimi

I am Akimi

And Yukie

And the photo outside?

That photo was taken forty years ago

Oh, really?

We were famous in Tokyo

We were "The Four Seasons"

You suckers fell for it

We stayed together all these years

Aren't we beautiful?

Very beautiful

Now I get it

Where are the Four Sisters?

They're here

She is Natsuyo

Haruko, the one you like, is singing

All old ladies?

They took that photo forty years ago

They used to be famous

They retired here in Hokkaido

and opened this bar

Let's leave

No

We can't leave now

It wouldn't be polite

See how friendly they are?

Have a drink

What would you like?

No more sake

A whiskey

How about Windsor whiskey?

Fine

A bottle of Whiskey, please

Right away

With ice, but no green tea

Fooled us with a forty-year-old photo

Very funny

Come in

A beautiful woman

Bottoms up

This is an inspirational song

Why are your voices so full of despair?

Added together, those four sisters

are more than three hundred years old

How could we not despair?

You take your girlfriend on a trip

But you sneak out drinking

and don't come home

What kind of romance is that?

You call that faithful?

It's called paying her back in her own coin

I allow your heart to love another man

but my body can't enjoy a little fling?

You're shameless

If you let go of the past and be mine

I swear:

even if we were with Maggie Cheung

plus

Angelina Jolie

plus Sophie Marceau and supermodel Chi-Ling Lin

I wouldn't drink a single cup

That's right

You'd drink the whole bar

Feel to see if he has a fever

He's starting to talk crazy

Oh, my

Poor thing

Reality was so distant from your expectations

Should I find you a psychologist?

No medicine can heal my wounded heart

You're my best medicine

Not afraid I'm poison?

I'd drink you, even if you were

Someone tormented you

Now, you torment me

That's the wheel of fate

Bad karma

Hey

We passed this several times

but I didn't say anything

Is it a church? Why so small?

It's for confessions

Confessions?

A lot of city people feel guilty about

all the bad things they've done

So, they come to Hokkaido to confess

Get the guilt out

and seek forgiveness

You must have a lot of sins

Do a good confession

Clear your conscience and start over

Go in

They can't speak Chinese, anyway

You can tell them everything you've done

Better than keeping it inside and having nightmares

Go ahead

God is more forgiving than the police

We won't listen

We'll wait here for you

He's in your hands

Okay

Wu Sang

Sure he can't speak Chinese?

Don't worry. Even if he did

he's not going to broadcast it

Please, begin

I want to donate 10 million. You want it?

Do you speak English?

That's ten times a million. A lot

No English

Don't want any money?

You really don't understand

Now, I can relax

Let me start from the bad things I did

in kindergarten

He really is a lot of fun

He hasn't changed in all these years

Just like he used to be

These past few days together

brought back many good memories

He's a good man

And quite romantic

A head full of impractical ideas

Deep down

He's an idealist

That's why he's still a bachelor

Marriage is about destiny

Sometimes it's just not meant to be

It's fate

He really likes you

Most women don't understand him

I think you do

I hope it works out with you two

Did he tell you about his invention?

It's very interesting

Made him a chunk of money too

I don't know much about him

But he felt like an old friend

My intuition told me that

he's a man I can rely on

If I'm going to get married, but

can't be with the man I love

I should at least find a buddy

If that's what you're thinking

I advise you to let him go

Wouldn't be fair to him

I haven't lied to him

He accepts it

Smiley

I don't know what kind of man

you really want to love

Does he deserve it more than Qin Fen?

You're being very selfish

You can't exploit other people's feelings

I hope I'm not being too direct

That's okay

I like straight-talkers

And then there was this time

we were studying farm production

all in the same dorm

Me

Little Wen

Zhang Kui, Lu Dewei

And also...

Oh, anyhow, there were eight or nine of us

And then, um

It was night time

I got this idea

The idea was, uh

We rubbed balm on the soles of his feet

Then waved a fan over them

As soon as we did

Zhang Kui wet his bed

His blanket and sheets were soaked

It really cracked us up

We didn't admit who did it

But later

the next morning, he discovered

that everything was wet

He didn't dare hang them out

He asked, How'd I pee myself?

Nobody said anything

Then somebody sold me out

Said I did it

I said, I would never do that

Excuse me

The time. It's very late

I'm just getting started

After middle-school, I have countryside stories

Then my career

And love life

Just getting started

I said

I'm not that kind of person

I said, Little Wen did it

Little Wen said

he said he didn't do it

He said I did it

No way. I'd never do that

It was Lu Dewei and them

They did it

Me? Even if it were possible

I'm not saying it wasn't my idea, but...

Miss

Miss, excuse me

Yes?

What's wrong?

Your friend is extremely pious

But he has far too many sins

We're a small church

We don't have enough room

Nearby is a much bigger church

So, please be so kind and

take him there for confession

So sorry

I'll get him out right away

Very sorry

God

please forgive his sins

I was young. Didn't know any better

Felt I'd really wronged her

But now that I think of it...

Cut it out. Let's go

Would even let me bow to her

Hey, Qin Fen

How many sins do you have?

The kind even Hell wouldn't let you in for?

Water... Give me water

Lord

please forgive his atrocities

The Lord sent you to save my soul

and rescue me from Hell

Don't let Him down

I'm still in a world of suffering

Who will save me?

I will

That's hot

I hear this place has lots of bears

That's right

Anyone get hurt?

Yes

Bears seem clumsy

But when they attack

They're very fast

Faster than a deer

Smiley

Smiley. Come back

Watch out for bears

Seeing a bear is good luck for you

Nonsense. It's the bear's good luck

You see any? Where?

C'mon, let's go

You really worried?

If you got hurt, how would I explain it?

To whom?

No one cares about me

I do

Wu Sang

Ask if they've seen any bears

What did they say?

They were a party of four

Now there's only two left

Huh?

How could there be bears here?

Impossible

We fooled you

You really believed us

Who says Japanese aren't funny?

A bunch of real jokers

The bear is coming

Protect your head and heart

If the bear flips you over

flip back to your original position

So pretty

A terrible pity to eat you

Best keep you alive to mother cubs

You don't have bear eyes

What are they?

The eyes of a wolf

Regret meeting me?

No. I'm quite happy

If you'll marry me

our days will be sweet as honey

Would you really marry me?

If you say yes

We can tie the knot tonight

Such a big, bad bear

He said, Don't talk to bears

They'll tear you to pieces

I was torn apart long ago

Cold?

Let's go back

I'll light it for you

I want to do it for you

Do you want me?

Yes

I'm yours tonight

Just for tonight?

Yes

Then I'd rather not have you

Why not?

Don't you think I'm pretty?

I want to repay you

I can't owe you this favor

I won't be able to pay it back

You don't have to

You deserve it

Let me be a fool this once

I'm in love with you

Will you marry me?

Uh

Don't just say, "uh"

I want you to say

Yes or no?

Yes

When?

I need more time

How long?

Qin Fen

The last few days, I've watched myself

through Wu Sang's eyes

I'm such a strange woman

Came all this way with you

but just kept pushing you away

But you understand how I got here

I keep struggling to rescue myself

from an abyss of despair

I hoped that your kindness

and pristine Hokkaido

could help me rediscover life's beauty

That was my selfish hope

But terrible love has already emptied me

The more I struggle

the more the memories pull me down

This evening

in the last sunset of my life

I saw the more lovely side of you

I also saw how pathetic and helpless I was

You are the perfect partner

If I'd only met you years ago

I'm a fool to let you pass me by

But this is God's punishment of me

Good-bye, Qin Fen

Don't look for me

Just please forgive me

After Smiley jumped

she was found by a fishing boat

They rescued her

She's in surgery right now

So damned foolish

Now matter what happens, I'll be there for her

You really are naughty

I thought I was trouble

But you're worse than me

Your brother knows you've been hurt

But with your brother here

you can overcome anything

Okay

I'm leaving

Alright

Otherwise, you'll lose your job

Be good to her

She's a good girl with a true heart

She's already died once

Her love for him is dead now too

This is for your wife and kids

More than ten years since we last met

Who knows when we'll meet again

She's going to need money now

Don't pull that polite crap with me

Money means nothing to me

What I lack are friends

My best friends are scattered to the winds

Sometimes, I really miss you guys

I feel terribly lonely

Take care

It's almost New Year's

You cheated death

So, make a wish

Give me your phone

Hello?

It's me

It's been a long time

I just want to thank you

for once having loved me

I'm very happy now

Because I've found someone

I want to share my life with

Be good to your wife

I wish you both the best

Good-bye

That was my phone

Your phone sleeps with the fishes

You don't need to call anyone else

Understood

The root of the world's endless wars

and escalating conflicts

is our inability to judge disputes impartially

The Conflict Resolution Terminal

wipes out both flaws

Please insert your hand

Okay

Now, grab this handle

Rock, paper, scissors

When I count to three

we both pull it open

One

Two

Three

Interesting

Did you sell that to him?

Isn't that your invention?

You two are venture capitalists

I have my own humble opinion

about the nature of investment

Venture capital is about risk

The greater the risk, the more one invests

No risk, no investment

I'll stake my reputation in saying

to invest in this product

is way too risky

Very suitable for venture capitalists

This will be a massive hi-tech IPO

A revolutionary product

Let's play each other with it

If I win

throw it into the ocean for me

Is that you?

Who else could it be?

Why's you hair all grey?

The worst financial crisis of the century

wiped me out

This year's economy

is really in the dumps

Three top investment banks belly up

Nothing's selling

Don't cry

It's gonna be okay

Don't cry

Listen

I sold this to you, right?

Uh

Right?

Right

I'll buy it back

Name your price

Two million

But you were throwing it away

One million

Two million

One million

Let's not argue

A million, it is

Deal

I meant Sterling

Huh. I meant Japanese Yen

Japanese Yen?

Uh

Don't worry. Next year

when the economy rebounds

I'll sell it at a high price

I'll split it with you

Let me see. What are you looking at?

The future

Our wedding toast

Such beautiful delusions

Like sweet sugar cubes

Jumping into bitter coffee

Words I thought were true

Tears were all I knew

There's no going back now

Just waking up to get drunk again