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All language subtitles for Housos vs Authority 2012

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,006 (Man laughs continuously) 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,689 MAN: Shut up! 3 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,927 MAN: So, girls, 4 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,721 this advertising campaign is for a new type of aftershave 5 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,202 specifically targeting the poor demographic. 6 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,441 It's called... 7 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,681 ...Stank. 8 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,842 I just want you girls to give me your best trashy 9 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,047 when we get there, alright? You understand? 10 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,362 What we're looking for here is total realism. 11 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,964 Total realism. 12 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,522 That's why I picked this, the worst suburb in Australia. 13 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,521 The worst. 14 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,482 - Have a go at that, bra! - Wow! 15 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,290 Come on, everyone. Let's go. 16 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,443 Let's go. Security. Thank you. 17 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:50,087 Girls, let's go. Let's get into our gear. Quickly. 18 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,730 So, girls, when it comes to the walk, 19 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,961 we're going to want kind of a drunk, ﬂat hustle. 20 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,645 Good. 21 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,411 Ohm. 22 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,721 (Phone rings) 23 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,369 (Shrieks) 24 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,850 I gotta go! 25 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,210 Give me skank! 26 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,641 Ha-ha! 27 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,850 Thanks for the text, man. 28 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,330 Have a go at that, Franky! 29 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,005 Come on, girls. Give it to me! Give me slut! 30 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,570 Ahh! 31 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,325 Come on, babe. Put something into it. 32 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,561 (All laugh) 33 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,126 - Get your gear off! - I think she was looking on me, man. 34 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,009 - Show us your titties! - Nah, no way, bro. 35 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,924 - She was on me. - Show Reg your titties! 36 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,641 Ahh! 37 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,041 (All cheer) 38 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,567 Yeah, fucking cop that, ya fuckin' anorexic sluts! 39 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:32,044 Fuckin' comin' down here ﬂashing ya fuckin' gash round, makin' my man horny! 40 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,041 Arggh! 41 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,008 Let's smash those posh wankers! 42 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,924 Arggh! 43 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,891 Arggh! 44 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:48,124 Hey, Shaz, all this has made me fully toey, babe! 45 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,690 You fancy a 68? 46 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,842 What the fuck's a 68? 47 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,604 It's like a 69, 48 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,285 but you give me head and then I owe ya one! 49 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,770 I'll fuckin' give ya head! 50 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,127 I'll give ya a fuckin' broken head, ya fuckwit! 51 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,691 Stop makin' so much bloody noise! 52 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,570 (Siren blares) - I can't hear the TV! 53 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,289 All the people on the pension... 54 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,851 - Make some noise! (All cheer) 55 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,524 ♪ (Raps) We hang down on the block 56 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,761 ♪ This is where we live and we just don't give a fuck 57 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,603 - Yeah, bro! J“ 'Cause we don't have a job 58 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,887 ♪ Some scam and others rob 59 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,370 ♪ We wear thongs, bro 60 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,488 ♪ We do AVOs, we wear uggs, bro... ♪ 61 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,891 Where'd me kids go? 62 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,723 And if you come here after 7:00... 63 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,927 - You'll have to deal with Kevin. - Why? 64 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,410 ♪ 'Cause we're houses 65 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,890 ♪ Houses, housos 66 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,723 ♪ Houses, houses, housos 67 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,690 ♪ Houses, housos, houses'. 4' 68 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,001 Neighbours getting to be good friends? 69 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,321 Yeah, fucking come down to Sunnyvale, mate! 70 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,887 (Babies cry) 71 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,804 (Babies cry continuously) 72 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,970 How ya goin'? 73 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,167 My name's Barry. (Laughs) 74 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,889 Most people call me Bazza. 75 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,530 This is me local. 76 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,206 I know ya met me niece, Shazza Jones, a bit earlier. 77 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,248 She's a good sort, eh? (Laughs) 78 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,642 If I was a bit younger, and wasn't her uncle, I'd probably give her one. 79 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,641 (Laughs) 80 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,610 He fucked up... 81 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,728 BAZZA: Shazza lives with her de facto, Dazza. 82 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,848 Yeah, times are tough around here. 83 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,410 (Laughs) 84 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,641 Shut up, ya fuckin' monger! 85 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,130 You spastic! 86 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,930 Have a look! 87 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,561 Bloody parking fines and court bills and your mum's fuckin' prescriptions! 88 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,050 We need money! 89 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,611 I can't hear the television! 90 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,685 And poor old Shazza, oh, she hasn't had a good run lately. 91 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,241 Hey, Beryl, can you mind Bub for me? I need to have a cone! 92 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,529 I'm not lookin' after your kids so you can get off your bloody head! 93 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,010 SHAZZA: Bitch! 94 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,490 What? 95 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:07,922 Shazza's dad, me brother, Wazza, he passed away recently. 96 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,410 Poor bugger. 97 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,890 He had a heart attack 98 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,611 while he was in bed with this filly he picked up at the races. 99 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,046 Not the four-legged kind, you know, that'd be weird. 100 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,930 We were ail upset, but it hit Shazza pretty hard. 101 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,446 I guess the worst part was we couldn't afford a decent funeral. 102 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,524 We could have got Dad a heaps better fuckin' headstone 103 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,081 if you didn't waste all the cheque money on that fuckin' esky wagon! 104 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,367 You're fucked in the face, Daz! 105 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,330 Maybe we should leave Shazza and Dazza alone for a little while. 106 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,368 Why don't I give you a tour of Sunnyvale? 107 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,523 Most people think it's a shithole. But it's not. It's our area. 108 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,887 It's where we grew up. It's where we live. 109 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,170 These are the local cops. 110 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,209 They're just a bunch of boofheads if you ask me. 111 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,810 Stop! 112 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,529 Fuck it! Fuck it! They're juveniles. 113 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,010 Too much paperwork. Fuck it. 114 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,685 I'd like to taser those little arseholes! 115 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,684 Nothin' but a bunch of fuckin' oxygen thieves! 116 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,683 Yeah, that's the local Lebo gang, 117 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,569 the Sunnyvale Assassins. 118 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,086 Not the bloody sharpest tools in the shed, this lot. 119 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,971 Last week, they tried to do a drive-by on a bloke that owed them money. 120 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,362 But because the coppers defected all their cars, 121 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,408 one of them had to get his mum to drive them. 122 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,164 (Tyres screech) 123 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,162 What the fuck's going on?! Slow down! 124 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,844 Oh, my God! Like, Mummy! 125 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,842 Slow down, please. What are you doing? 126 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,887 (Yells in Arabic) 127 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,327 Oh, my God! Like, you're s'posed to go slow so I can shoot them. 128 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,560 (Yells in Arabic) 129 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,245 Who the fuck brings their mum to a drive-by, you dickhead?! 130 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,765 Shut up, Rocky! Where's your mum? 131 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,366 Don't talk about my mum, Habib, or I'll shoot ya! 132 00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,850 Did you see that? 133 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,968 I think there was a Ninja inside the car. 134 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,690 Oh, have a go at this lot. 135 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,728 Yeah, they're the local junkies. 136 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,609 'Cause they keep robbing all the buses, 137 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,001 they don't even run a bus service down here anymore. 138 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,243 Ya didn't have to take my lunch, ya little pricks! 139 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,730 Bloody junkies. 140 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,210 (All cheer) 141 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,443 This here's a bit of a birthday tradition down here on the block. 142 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,489 'Cause most people can't afford a cake for their birthdays, 143 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,847 we usually just burn a car instead. 144 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,484 Hey, Big Wheels, you gonna be on the icerink later? 145 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,289 Sure am, bro. Wanna buy some dope? 146 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,770 Nah, man. 147 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,161 Even if I did, like, as if I could afford it. 148 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,967 That bloke there is Franky. 149 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,042 He's Dana's best mate. 150 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,931 Good bloke, but he's always in trouble with either the coppers or the ladies. 151 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,964 Franky, fuckin' off from a threesome before ya blow? 152 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,804 I thought I was dating a fuckin' gentleman. 153 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,531 Oh, one minute slap my arse, 'Oh, go harder, Franky.' 154 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,010 Now, 'Be gentle, man.' 155 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,367 Don't confuse on my brain, please. (Siren blares) 156 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,045 Oh, sometimes he's in trouble with both at the same time. 157 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,010 (Siren blares) 158 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,685 Falzoni! Stop, Falzoni! Stop there! 159 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,603 Here. Time for me to take the dogs for a run. 160 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,770 Fuckin' go, Franky! 161 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,762 Go fuckin' under it! Fuckin' under it! 162 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,441 Fuck! 163 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,571 - Stop the cops, mate! - Fuck off! 164 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,244 I wanna block the coppers, mate! 165 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,730 Arggh! 166 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:33,883 Park your fuckin' vehicle properly, will ya, ya fuckwit! 167 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,804 I got a fucked motor brain, ya fuckin' mongrel dog! 168 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,121 - Get the little prick! - Come here, ya little fuck! 169 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,361 Too slow, mate! Too slow! 170 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,409 Big Wheels! Give us a lift, mate. Turn around! The cops are comin'! 171 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,890 - Get on, get on. - Go! 172 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,043 - Wanna buy some rack, man, or what? - No, man, just a lift. 173 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:53,045 If you wanna know why the coppers are after Franky, well, it's simple. 174 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,523 'Cause he's always doin' stupid shit. 175 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:08,120 Have a bit of a squiz at what he did yesterday 'cause he was bored. 176 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,007 I am the cop hunter! 177 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,128 (Tyres screech) 178 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,610 What the fuck is he doing? 179 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:21,321 - Ahhhh! - Ahhhhhh! 180 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:28,561 Ohm. 181 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,006 How did I miss them?! 182 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,490 Alcohol. 183 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,801 That's why they say don't drink and drive. 184 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,609 It affects accuracy. 185 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,329 Ha! 186 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,810 Look on that, mate! 187 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,643 Not even a scratch, mate! 188 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,282 And I did it 'cause I hate authority, mate! I hate it! 189 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,329 Sunnyvale, mate! Sunnyvale for life, mate. 190 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,481 Yeah! 191 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,130 You're fuckin' mental! 192 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,804 Fuck, what's mental about that? 193 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,928 Oh, I think I might have shit meself! 194 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,089 Come back here, ya little fuck! 195 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,842 - Where'd he fuckin' go? - Fucked if I know. 196 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,605 Ask these coconuts. They might have fuckin' seen him. 197 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,601 Oi! 198 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,443 Did you see a little guy run through here 199 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,922 with his hat on backwards, little poofy shorts and fuckin' thongs on? 200 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,604 Why don't youse just piss off 201 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,046 and go catch some real criminals 202 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:22,250 instead of comin' down here and scarin' my kids, ya dogs?! 203 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:27,326 What the fuck do you think we're trying to do, ya stupid scrag! 204 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,721 Oi, don't talk to my missus like that, bro. 205 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,087 That's Dazza's other best mate, Kev, 206 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,684 and his missus, Vanessa. 207 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,170 She's not a bad bird, 208 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,208 but she's always on about her arse. 209 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,010 You two lazy pigs are just jealous, eh, 210 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,207 that you'll never get this fuckin' arse, eh?! 211 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,682 The fuckin' bestest arse in Sunnyvale, mate! 212 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,251 The bestest arse in fuckin' Sunnyvale? 213 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,447 I'm surprised it fits in fuckin' Sunnyvale. 214 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,444 - Your head looks like a fuckin' arse. - It's a two-suburber. 215 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,365 I reckon she's got a donkey arse, and the donkey wants it back. 216 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,762 You can't fuckin' sleep there, mate. Get that fuckin' thing out of the way. 217 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,161 - Hey! Where youse off to? - Oh, we're not ambos, mate! 218 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,686 - Just ring triple-O, ya pillock! - Come help me! 219 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,968 Oh, shit! 220 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,368 Darren, go and get the letters. 221 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,849 I fuckin' twisted me knee 222 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,571 when I slipped on the shitty nappy that you didn't pick up! 223 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,608 You might remember I did my fuckin' hip, too, 224 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,090 which is why I can't work, 225 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,447 so I can't get up and go and get the mail! 226 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,363 Fuck! Thanks for caring! 227 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,330 Reg! Get the letters. 228 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,524 The letters. 229 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,242 (Shouting in distance) 230 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,888 Tyres! Why would they steal the fuckin' tyres? 231 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,360 Give us back our fuckin' tyres, ya junkies! 232 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,771 (Laughs) 233 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,410 Oh, me fuckin' nuts! 234 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,641 You useless fuckin' monger, Reg! 235 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,961 Don't speak to your stepfather like that! 236 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,406 Oh, come on, Mum. You don't even root him anymore. 237 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,050 You probably don't even toss him. 238 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,611 You're only with him for a fuckin' carer's benefit. 239 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,090 I'm not stupid! 240 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,686 (Laughs) 241 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,489 Sharon! 242 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,529 (Continues laughing) 243 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,761 Ya spastic fuckin' clown. 244 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,250 (Continues laughing) 245 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,083 Shut up! 246 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,242 ' He)', Shaz? - What?! 247 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,924 I got a letter here for ya. 248 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,570 It's from Alice Springs. 249 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,087 I don't know anyone from Alice Springs, ya dickhead! 250 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,440 WOMAN'. Dear Sharon, I know you're pissed off with me 251 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,365 because I ran off with Keith the kangaroo trainer when you were three. 252 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,604 But right now, love, put that emotion to the side. 253 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:53,126 I'm sick and I need to see ya. 254 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,842 Me address is on the envelope and me phone number, too, 255 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:02,402 or you can add me on Facebook, or you can send me a tweet. 256 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,041 Hurry, love. Your loving mum, Rayleen. 257 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,691 How could you leave me and Dad for that fuckin' gronk, Mum? 258 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,887 How could ya? 259 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,484 Fuckin' bitch. 260 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,610 (Sighs) 261 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,090 Oh, hey, Shaz, 262 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,162 I know you're upset but I'm dying for a cone. 263 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,650 Can you chuck us the bong? 264 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,087 Nah, look, me mum just sent me a letter saying she's sick 265 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,924 and I just don't know how to feel about it, alright? 266 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,968 Didn't she piss off when you were a kid? 267 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,645 SHAZZA: It's fucked. 268 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,530 I don't even remember that much about her, eh. 269 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,285 Except she taught me how to roll me first joint. 270 00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:00,330 I remember once Mum teaching me me first fuckin' swear word. 271 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:04,484 Your dad, Wazza, is fucked in the face, Shazza. 272 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,881 Say it. Fucked in the face. 273 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,008 Fucked in the face. 274 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,604 And the only other thing I remember 275 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,444 was catching Mum and Dad rooting back in the day. 276 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,923 Fuck, Dad used to go hard after he'd come home from the pub. 277 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,402 I never even got to know her. She just pissed off, eh. 278 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,609 Like Mr Kelly says, 'Such is life', Shaz. 279 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,523 Now stop being such a selfish mole, 280 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,010 and give us the fuckin' bong! 281 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,490 Or at least a ciggie! 282 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,369 Piss off! Arggh! 283 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,044 Serves ya right, ya dickhead! 284 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,647 Arggh! Oh, shit, my fuckin' arm! 285 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,608 Anybody video that? 286 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,444 Why weren't you filming? I could have got more pension! 287 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,442 (Shouts in Arabic) - Ohh, shit! 288 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,965 (Phone beeps) 289 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,450 Oh, fuck this! 290 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,011 I'm going down the icerink with Franky and Kev! 291 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,322 Bring me some smokes! And some tampons! 292 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:58,201 Oh, yeah! I just pay for 'em with me imaginary credit card, you bloody idiot! 293 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,488 Don't grow up and be like Mummy, Neddy. 294 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,970 (Coughs) 295 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,123 How could ya, Mum? 296 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,530 (Shouts in Arabic) 297 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,046 Oh, no, it's all good, mate. Don't worry about payment. 298 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,361 It's pensioner-free Tuesday. I'm on the pension. 299 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,850 VIP, very important pensioner. 300 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,286 Good on ya, mate. Keep an eye on my wheels for me. 301 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,446 Dazza, you space cadet. How you doing, man? 302 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,010 Yeah, not bad. 303 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,844 The missus has got the shits again. 304 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,650 How's the cripple drifting going? 305 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,450 Like, I think they've pulled off a few decent moves today. 306 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,523 I've even seen, like, a couple of these donuts they've been doing. 307 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,808 Spin 'em, Big Wheels! Go, mate! 308 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,643 It's not a patch on Bathurst, matey. 309 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,041 Oh, hey, this'll make everything better, bro. 310 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,041 (Giggles) 311 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,520 Franky, matey, what's going on with the pussy lately? 312 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,727 'Cause you keep changing your Facey status, eh. 313 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,210 I can't keep up, mate. 314 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,726 Yeah, man, look, I don't know, the thing of it is, like, 315 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,883 I think I'm still full like cut over what's happened to Kylie, 316 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,247 'cause I do feel like I'm full responsible and that. 317 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,766 KYLIE, ON PHONE: I love you. - I keep like doing my head in 318 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,047 by playing her last video message over and over. 319 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,168 - I love you! - Oh, it wasn't your fault, bro. 320 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,289 Just like a stale beer, ya gotta move on, cuz. 321 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,601 But, man, like, you know, I feel guilty 'cause, 322 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,331 look, I was the one who asked her to tag that train, 323 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,129 like, as a love dedication tag. 324 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,250 You really gonna do it? 325 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,083 - I love you. - Yeah, I love you, man! 326 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:46,369 And, like, you know, if probably she had not tagged it for me... 327 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,850 Yeah, go, go. 328 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,684 ...maybe she would not, like, have got like hitten by the train. 329 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,450 Go, Kylie! 330 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,007 (Horn blows) 331 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,000 Kylie, that's too close for a tag! 332 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,963 Kylieeee! 333 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,327 KYLIE: I love you. - Kev's right, matey. 334 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,084 Ya just gotta get over it, eh. 335 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,844 Yeah, but, man, like, I've been trying. 336 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,002 Like, you know, I've been rooting other chicks 337 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,401 to, like, make my brain forget you know, about Kylie. 338 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,368 GIRL: Franky, come on! 339 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,885 - Um... - Fuck, Franky! 340 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,042 - Yeah, it's just not happening, mate. - What?! 341 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,849 Like, I got back with Cheree, my ex. 342 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,446 Fuck, she used to be hot, man, but then she got on the ice. 343 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,762 And now ya can't get a fat, mate. She's a shocker. 344 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,570 I'm fuckin' awesome. I still am. I always was and I still am... 345 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,164 Shush, shush, shush, don't talk. 346 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,367 What? Tell me! Talk to me! Fuck! 347 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:35,850 Alright, you wanna know? 348 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,366 You're a skank, ya got on the ice and now look at ya, mate! 349 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,362 Get out of my house! Get out, Franky! 350 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,681 Get out of here, you stinking piece of shit! 351 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,365 - Ah, you're a skank, mate! - You arsehole! 352 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,442 And you know the barmaid? Like, from the pub? 353 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,046 Me and her have, like, a semi-regular thing going. 354 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,963 (squeals repeatedly) 355 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,962 - And youse know Kazza the stripper? - Yeah. 356 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,806 Yeah, we're sort of been... like an unofficial BF and GF. 357 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,451 - Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! - Ohhhhhh! 358 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,011 I thought you were going out with Kylie's sister now. 359 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,490 Nah, man. 360 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,131 Like, you know, she's just, like, friends with benefits. 361 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,327 Sucked in, cops! (Grunts) 362 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,721 And the only reason I let her stay, like, in my place 363 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,724 is 'cause she's up for, like, threesomes and foursomes and that. 364 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,449 Ohh! Yeah! 365 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,329 My dick has never been happier. 366 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,288 But my heart is, like, I don't know, man. 367 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,044 I've still got Kylie on my heart, mate. 368 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,566 Like a herpe on your heart? 369 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,369 Don't talk to me about herpe, man. 370 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,203 Crystal, I think, still has one. 371 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,611 Ahhhh! 372 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,570 My missus has got one of those contraceptives in her arm. 373 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,324 You know, those little stick things? 374 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,802 I don't know what's in it, cuz, but she either wants to bash me... 375 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,290 I hate you! 376 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,203 ...or ride rodeo. 377 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,168 I'm so sorry, Kevin! 378 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,289 (Both yell) 379 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,884 - Ahhhh! - Fucking hell! 380 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,850 What, did your kids like try and burn your house down again? 381 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,330 Yeah, bloody silly kids. 382 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,164 Hey, nothin' wrong with kids burning shit down. 383 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,606 I burnt down me first school when I was four, mate. 384 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,490 - (Giggles) - Just like Ned Kelly! 385 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,245 - Oh, choice tatt, bro. - Fuckin' go, Neddy! 386 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,607 Hey! There's no alcohol in here, mate. 387 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,807 Hey, you know what I don't like, dickhead? 388 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,610 When people like you puttin' your authority on me. 389 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,889 My thong has gone on the ice. 390 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,450 Hello? 391 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,930 SHAZZA: What day is it today? 392 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,720 It's Thursday, two o'clock, and you're still at that icerink, aren't ya? 393 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,529 - Fuckin' moron! - Franky! 394 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,045 - Franky mate! - What? 395 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,327 I forgot. It's our Centrelink appointment now. 396 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,006 But I gotta get a new thong. It's busted, man. 397 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,008 Ohh, ohh! Ohh... ooh. 398 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,490 Thanks, mate. 399 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,085 Hey, Mullet. Give me one of your thongs, mate. 400 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,090 Sucked in, mate. 401 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,810 It's your chick, man. 402 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,723 Oi, Shazza! We're going now, alright? 403 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,166 - Where are you goin'? - I'm goin' to the pub. 404 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,686 Don't fuck up. We really need some money. 405 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,489 Hey! Franky! 406 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,370 You owe me money for the child support! 407 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,681 That kid looks nothin' like me, mate! 408 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,887 It's got a head as big as a bloody pot plant. 409 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:24,090 I saw the baby! The baby was look exactly like your nose! 410 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,731 If you continue to put your authority on me, mate, 411 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,484 I'm gonna lose it on you, alright? 412 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,370 No, no! You have to pay me the money! 413 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,204 Fuckin' calm down! Bash him later, Franky. 414 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:35,201 So? 415 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,690 Fuck, ya got shit to do! 416 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,967 - You a chicken! - I gotta go to Centrelink, mate! 417 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,327 - Chicken! - This is not over, alright? 418 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,561 ♪ (Sings) Chicken little Frankily! ♪ 419 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,688 You're gonna cop a fuckin' thonging, mate! 420 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,364 Chicken! Frankily! 421 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,523 Oh, gidday, Nessa. What's doin'? 422 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,729 Oh, one of me kids, they bit a teacher's finger off at school. 423 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,721 Yeah. 424 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,200 How fuckin' awesome is that, eh? (Laughs) 425 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,201 Oi! 426 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,441 Give us a beer, would ya, darlin'? 427 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,568 I've only got enough for half, but fill her up 428 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,642 and I'll give you the rest on cheque day, eh? 429 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,050 Oh, what's doing, Shazza? 430 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,281 Oh, Dazza and Franky have gone up to Centrelink. 431 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,009 They're trying to get us cashed up, eh? 432 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,241 BAZZA'. Now, Dazza needed to make Shazza happy, 433 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,527 so he needed money real bad. 434 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,330 Now, Franky remembered down at Centrelink 435 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,482 if you tell them you can't feed your kids, 436 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,084 they'll give you food vouchers. 437 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,082 Feed your miserable children. 438 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,651 Franky, mate, what fuckin' good is this shit? 439 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,167 - These are the food vouchers, yeah? - Yeah, but it's not money. 440 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,764 This is what we're gonna do. 441 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,606 OK, go voucher them chickens in the checkout. 442 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,682 I'm gonna go pinch some rafﬂe tickets. 443 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,082 Right, now we go into the pub and we tell the stooges 444 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,084 that we're gonna rafﬂe off them chickens for charity, mate. 445 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,809 (Laughs) 446 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,290 What's it for, mate? 447 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,250 Yeah, uh, this will be for the victims of the fire, man. 448 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,288 This is for the victims of the ﬂood. 449 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,282 This is for the soldiers that got killed 450 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,248 on the landmines on the Anzacs and that. 451 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,765 Uh, vagina research. 452 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,444 It's for herpe research. 453 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,124 Cancer on dick research. 454 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,361 Franky, mate, you should have stuck to one story! 455 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,364 Look at those guys, mate. They're fuckin' talking to each other! 456 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,522 Hey, fuckwit, you told me it was for the ﬂoods, 457 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,568 you told him it's for the fuckin' bushfires. 458 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,086 - Yeah, what the fuck is it? - They're all worthy causes. 459 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,570 Fuck this! 460 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,722 Dazza, man, go home. Save me a chicken leg. 461 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,722 This is not gonna take long. 462 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,802 Thong the fuck out of 'em, Franky! 463 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,610 Big Wheels! 464 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,844 Oh, Franky bro. 465 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,330 What's this, man? 466 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,163 We made a Sunnyvale spa bath! 467 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,049 - Hop in. - Yeah, sick. 468 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,690 But what happened to all the money? 469 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,729 I used a little bit to get beer and smokes for me and Kev. 470 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,610 Most of it went on blood plugs for the missus. 471 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,410 BAZZA: Now, after the boys all had a go in the hot tub... 472 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,970 Hot tub! 473 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,847 ...and after Dazza realised the junkies had knocked off his esky wheels... 474 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,365 No! 475 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,647 Fuck you, Dazza! (Laughs) 476 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,449 Fucking junkies! 477 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,171 ...Franky suggested they go and see the Lebos. 478 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,131 They might have some dirty deed that might make the boys some money. 479 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,602 Yeah, no, we'll just do a bashing for them, or maybe knock off some cars. 480 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,524 - Then we'll get you some cash, mate. - Oh, choice, bro. 481 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,284 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 482 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,643 Well, the boys were out of luck, 483 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,369 'cause half an hour earlier, 484 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,727 the Assassins had a run-in with this little bloke. 485 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,042 His name's Johno, and, believe it or not, he's a bikie. 486 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,725 Hey, tic-tac, where'd you get the ride from, bro? 487 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,846 Santa? 488 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,922 (All laugh) 489 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,843 Do you know who I am?! 490 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,490 Who? Poofter smurf? 491 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:50,970 (All laugh) 492 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,567 You wanna go, fuckers? Let's fuckin' go, then! 493 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,210 - Come on! - Smash him! 494 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,328 - Argghhh! - Come on! 495 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,083 That's Johno's brother, Angry. 496 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,081 He's the president 497 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,923 of the local bikie gang, The Hunters. 498 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,844 These blokes run all sorts of scams around here, 499 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,446 and they're not the son of buggers you want to mess with. 500 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:14,445 Yeah, I know my little brother can be a prick, but he's blood. 501 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,364 You fuck with him and you're dog meat. 502 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,169 Argqghhhh! 503 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,326 Sorry! 504 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,129 Arrghhh! 505 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,202 I think that rules the Lebos out as an option. 506 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,201 Shit! 507 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,089 Ohh! Ohh! 508 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,003 (Siren blares) 509 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,890 Well, that's when the Lebo boys' luck went from bad to shocking. 510 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,803 Somebody called the coppers to help them, 511 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,290 but when they turned up, 512 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,442 they got arrested for outstanding warrants. 513 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,930 Ah, ya fuckin' knob. 514 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,410 Shut the fuck up, ya zubs! 515 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,483 (All shout) 516 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,451 (Phone rings) - Sharon, answer the bloody phone! 517 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,489 I'm in here dealing with my life at the moment! 518 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,608 You fuckin' answer it! 519 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,410 Reg, you answer it. 520 00:26:58,400 --> 00:26:59,890 (Phone rings) 521 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,530 (Long distance beeps) 522 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,126 WOMAN, ON PHONE: Hello? - Hello? 523 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,202 - Hello? - Hello? 524 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,441 - Hello? - Hello? 525 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,525 Whaddya want?! 526 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,242 (Coughs) 527 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,050 - What, ya monger? - (Coughs) 528 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,283 - Give it here and get out! Shit! - Eughh! (Coughs) 529 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,327 Hello? 530 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,644 If this is DOCS, Shazza Jones can't come to the phone at the moment 531 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:34,248 and she's not responsible for her kids burning or breaking anything. 532 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,040 Sharon? It's me, love. Your mum. 533 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,280 What? 534 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,171 Listen, love. I don't think I've got too much time left. 535 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,961 So I wanna see you face to face so I can explain things to you. 536 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,486 I... I can't talk right now. 537 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,887 (Sobs) 538 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,364 Hey, slow down. I'm rooted. 539 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,601 We walked two whole streets for fuckin' nothing! 540 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,968 Listen, man, on my brain, I just remembered... 541 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,167 You know that cafe down near the train station? 542 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,650 We'll knock it off. 543 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,484 So, Kev, me and you, we'll go check it out, make sure it's cool. 544 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,970 You get some masks. 545 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,849 Hey, then you're gonna get your money. 546 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,891 What is this, mate? These masks are shit. 547 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,690 What, are you gonna go in the Maori Mardi Gras with this thing? 548 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,524 Fuckin' Tyrannosaurus Dickhead over here. 549 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,488 Do I look like a poof to you, bro? 550 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,888 What are you doin', man? 551 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,370 What the hell? 552 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,850 How's that, mate? 553 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,569 What's that s'posed to be, a mask? 554 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,403 Bro, you gotta put some eye holes in it! 555 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,801 That fuckin' thing! This is fuckin' stupid, mate! 556 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,929 You can't even see off it! Come on, man! 557 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,527 You know what? I'm just gonna do it myself, mate. 558 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,409 Just text me if the coppers come. 559 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,086 I just ran out of credit, man. Have youse got credit? 560 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,241 Nuh. 561 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,730 Mind that. 562 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,689 (Shouting in distance) 563 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,523 Hey, is that Franky's ex? 564 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,602 - Cheree? - Yeah, bro. 565 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,686 BAZZA: One thing about Sunnyvale is those last few days before cheque day. 566 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,490 You know, that's when people really get desperate for money. 567 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,529 Hey, hey, hey! What about friends of the Frankily? 568 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,010 What do you want, mate?! 569 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,002 Fuckin' not now, bro. Franky's in there. 570 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,607 Junior and Cheree have been chasing Franky's child support for ages. 571 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,809 Dazza and Kev, they had to get those two idiots away from the cafe. 572 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,768 'Cause they were causing such a stink, 573 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,888 they were going to blow it all for Franky. 574 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,370 Don't push me! 575 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,045 - Tell me where Frankily is? - What the fuck's a Frankily? 576 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,089 You know exactly where he is. He always fuckin' hangs out with you. 577 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,082 - Get outta here, mate! And you! - Yeah! 578 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,162 Get outta here! Go make some more grey babies! 579 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,889 (Laughs) Oh, that's not funny. 580 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,929 Junior! There's Franky! And he's got money! 581 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:05,921 Frankily! 582 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,127 What's this bullshit, man? 583 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,248 Hey, give me that money for the child support! 584 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,730 Piss off, dickhead mate! 585 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,324 Proceeds of crime do not count 586 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,766 as legitimate income for child support, dickhead! 587 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,411 It's your baby! You put the sperm on the stomach! 588 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,641 We only had a sixty-niner, mate! 589 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,130 (Screams) 590 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,164 (Screams) Junior! 591 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,806 Franky! 592 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,121 Hey, Bubbles! Muli! 593 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,929 Help me! Help me! 594 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,524 - Uh! - Get off him, Franky! 595 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,288 Junior, I got it! 596 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,169 - Cops! Cops! (Siren blares) 597 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,650 Cops! Cops! 598 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,244 It's police, man! 599 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,730 Run! Come on, everybody! 600 00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:52,929 Oh, cops, cops, cops, cops. 601 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,127 (Siren blares) 602 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,767 Mate, how did we lose the money, mate? 603 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,250 There's, like, three of us. 604 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,164 Mate, I lost two fuckin' good thongs on the bitch! I had a go! 605 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,242 How much was it, bro? 606 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,004 What, you think I had time to count it? 607 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,606 Man, I done a lot of robberies in my time, 608 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,090 but I swear to God, 609 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,890 that whole thing in there, that was just freaky, mate. 610 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,451 So, like, I go in there, right, and nobody notices me. 611 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,011 Why? 'Cause they're all, like, playing on their phones. 612 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,889 Like, it's like I'm invisible. 613 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,010 (Cup clatters) 614 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,968 Man, I don't know. 615 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,884 I'm just putting the whole thing down in my 'freaky shit' files. 616 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,530 And I don't mean to be a prick, Dazza, 617 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,490 but, man, my thongs are killing me from this stooging around. 618 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:05,970 Like, I need a rest now, mate. 619 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,850 Yeah, bro, and after that punch-on, I'm thirsty as. 620 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,649 This is like work! 621 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,802 Fuck Shazza and her fuckin' money! 622 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,325 I need a cone! 623 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,324 - Hey, Big Wheels. - Hey, Dazza. 624 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,243 - You wanna buy some pot? - Fuck, yeah. 625 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,129 I got no money, but. Can I get it on credit? 626 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,724 - No, no credit, mate. - Fuck! 627 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,646 A lot of people say a lot of stuff about Sunnyvale, 628 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,961 like it's like a shit sandwich at a picnic. 629 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,450 That's rubbish. 630 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,921 Tell ya one thing, but. It's never boring. 631 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,490 (Chuckles) 632 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:38,970 I got her number. 633 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,485 Yeah, last Friday. 634 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,961 Hallelujah, baby! Whoo-hoo! 635 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:57,803 (Grunts) 636 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,802 Oi! Oi, Shaz? 637 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,643 Hey, I don't mind if you sleep, 638 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,847 but watch where you drop your cigarette, right? 639 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,922 Ya nearly set Neddy on fire, darl. 640 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:08,241 You and I need to have a talk, Darren. 641 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,765 (cries) 642 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,127 Oh, poo, he stinks! You take him. 643 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,610 You're fuckin' useless! 644 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,886 (cries) 645 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,521 Look, Daz, I need you to listen to me for a second, alright? 646 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:22,320 Now, I haven't asked you for nothin' since we've been together, eh? 647 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,086 But me mum, she's real fuckin' sick and I need to go visit her, right? 648 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,570 She lives in Ayers Rock. 649 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,689 Can't ya just Skype her, like, on the computer? 650 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,571 No, I can't just fuckin' Skype her! I wanna go see her! 651 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,369 (cries) 652 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,408 Shazza, stop hassling me, right?! 653 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,722 You're making me feel like a nut twisted up inside a pair of budgies! 654 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,291 Hey! Will you two shut the fuck up?! 655 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,089 Get fucked! 656 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,686 We can't shoot up with all that fuckin' noise out there! 657 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,170 Up your arse, mate! 658 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,447 - And up your arse too, bitch! - Fuck you! 659 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,329 BERYL: I can't hear the TV! 660 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,047 Dazza, ya bogan unit. Get in here, man. 661 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,042 Out! You boys jump in the boot. 662 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,929 Make some room for your Uncle Dazza. 663 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,804 - Nice wheels, Franky. - You like the paint, man? 664 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,883 I just knocked this off. I've done it all myself, mate. 665 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,644 Pimped my own ride. 666 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,531 Dazza, you're like gettin' me depressed lookin' at ya. 667 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,682 - What's wrong? - Shazza's doin' my head in. 668 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,921 She wants us to take this big fuckin' trip, right? 669 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,367 I don't know why her fuckin' slut of a mum can't just drive her arse down here. 670 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,840 - Where's her mum live? - Near fuckin' Ayers Rock! 671 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:36,841 Ohm. 672 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,320 How the fuck am I gonna get me and Shaz up to Ayers Rock? 673 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,927 Ayers Rock, it's nothin' but a big rock. 674 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,002 - It's fuckin' boring. - (Laughs) 675 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,367 Hey, Crystal? Wanna give me a pash? 676 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,850 Franky, look out! 677 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,444 Ahhh! 678 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,685 (Tyres screech) 679 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,010 (Cheering, laughter) - Coppers, mate! 680 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,241 Hey, hey, watch this! Watch this! 681 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:07,083 (Tyres screech) 682 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,364 Hey! Hey, hey, mate! 683 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,089 - Are you alright? - (Grunts) 684 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,890 Well, then, you'd better cop a thong, you dickhead! 685 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,405 (Laughter) 686 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,448 Get the other one. Get the other one! 687 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,330 (Cheering, laughter) 688 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,845 Suck on that, poof! 689 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,605 (Shouting) 690 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,125 Go, go, go, so! 691 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,169 Hey, kids, stay in the boot! I'll come back for ya later! 692 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,286 (Laughs) 693 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,690 All units! 694 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,170 All Sunnyvale units. 695 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,527 Officers down! Officers down! 696 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,683 Oh, fuck! Useless bastards. They always do this. 697 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,161 Uh, Sunnyvale 4 radio, that's a negative. 698 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,811 We've just been handed a brown paper bag. 699 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,485 We are assessing its contents. Over. 700 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,767 (Laughs) I like that one. 701 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,090 What are you staring at my chips for? 702 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:00,923 I'm not staring at your chips. 703 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,968 No, you are. You are. 704 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,486 I'm just seeing if you were gonna finish 'em this time. 705 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,131 No, no, no. You stare at my fuckin' chips every time. 706 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,645 You do it every fuckin' time. 707 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,484 Yeah, because you never finish your chips, Garry. Every time. 708 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,403 - I fuckin' do. - Garry, you never do. 709 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,641 - That's why I don't order chips. - You want chips? 710 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,008 - Are you gonna finish 'em or not? - Here! Have some fuckin' chips! 711 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,525 Why would you do that, Garry? 712 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,522 Hope you're happy now! 713 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,443 (Laughter) 714 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,330 Hey, how about that cop? He copped a thong in the face, mate! 715 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,891 You know what it was? It was like Grand Thonged Auto. 716 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,370 (Laughter) 717 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,490 Hey, Dazza, you gotta be cheered up now, man. That was mad. 718 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,324 No, even the pot's not working, man. 719 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,402 What about if I get Kazza to, like, you know, 720 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,289 ﬂash these stripper tits, man? 721 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,850 Would that cheer you up? 722 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,083 Of course I wanna see 'em. But I need fuckin' money, mate. 723 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,686 Look, man, you know, I do have a scam we could try. 724 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,923 That fat bloke down the road, he's done it, and he got a mad payout. 725 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,410 What is it? 726 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,607 BAZZA: Franky knew this bloke Jim. 727 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,605 Well, let's just say, Jim's a bit of a big bloke. 728 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,604 Anyway, he sort of fell through the ﬂoor of his house. 729 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,090 (Wood creaks) 730 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,809 So Jim sued the Housing Commission. 731 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:12,010 The big bugger got a huge payout, and now he's ail cashed up. 732 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:16,688 So Franky thought maybe with Beryl's help, they could make some money too. 733 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,921 No bloody way! Ahh! 734 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,207 Argghh...! 735 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:22,201 Ahh! 736 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,690 Again! 737 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,569 (All grunt) 738 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:26,561 Drop! 739 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,131 (Laughs) 740 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,645 (All grunt) 741 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,130 " Drop! " Ohh! 742 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,167 (Laughs) 743 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:34,650 That's e-bloody-nuff! 744 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,326 I'm already on the disability! I don't wanna really be bloody disabled! 745 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,084 - One more, one more. - No! 746 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:41,809 (Laughs) 747 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,643 - Drop! - Ahhh! 748 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,641 (Laughs) 749 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,165 - It's not working! - One minute. 750 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:47,650 I wanna check. 751 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,731 Look, it's a concrete slab. 752 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,371 She's heavy as, but she's not going through. 753 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,124 Oh, good one, Mum! 754 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,681 Look, Daz! I know youse are tryin' your hardest 755 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,490 but I've gotta tell you, you are fuckin' useless! 756 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,130 Alright! I know, OK?! 757 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,441 I blame me dad because he wrecked me confidence 758 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,807 and was always putting fuckin' pressure on me! 759 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,326 - Fuck! - (Scoffs) 760 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:15,211 Darren, you are a complete and utter fucking idiot. 761 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,441 You are a bloody loser. 762 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,204 You are a disgrace to me. 763 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,726 Dazza, you are a fucking wombat. 764 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,563 You are a liability. 765 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,769 You are a fuckin' drongo, aren't ya? 766 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,410 You are a fuckin' wombat. 767 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,449 - What are ya? - A fuckin' wombat. 768 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,681 Why can't you all leave me alone?! 769 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,489 What sort of wombat are you? 770 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,801 Hairy-nosed wombat. 771 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,529 Go away! 772 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,329 Sad sack. Wombat. 773 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,288 Fuckin' idiot. 774 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,806 - Can I have a cuddle? - You want a cuddle, do ya? 775 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,770 OK. (Laughs) 776 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,444 (Neck cracks) 777 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,125 - You feel better now, do ya, son? - Yes, Dad. 778 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,567 He was such a prick, and he fucked up my whole life, Shaz! 779 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:10,289 - Oh, gidday, Uncle Baz. - Gidday, Shazza. 780 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,567 Now, if you're really desperate in Sunnyvale, 781 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,961 and you got no-one else to sort out your dramas, 782 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:17,689 you go and see the bikies. 783 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,681 Yeah. 784 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,490 For the right price, they can organise just about anything. 785 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:27,407 Well, Shazza Jones. What can I do for you? 786 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,847 Look, mate, you know we done business together before? 787 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,128 I just need to make some money so I can go visit me mum. 788 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,805 Shazza, you know I'd like to help ya. 789 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,804 And I do not want to sound like an arsehole. 790 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,371 But we already tried you out for the strip club. 791 00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,722 What do we have to do to get a tip off you tight-arses, eh? 792 00:39:57,720 --> 00:40:00,121 Dazza may think you're a cougar, 793 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,489 but I can't put an old Holden in with a bunch of new Ferraris. 794 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,165 Yeah, but you know you can rely on me, eh. 795 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,403 I did that whole thing for you in Bali with the boogie board, 796 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,802 and I didn't fuck it up like Dazza's stupid cousin Schapelle did. 797 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,370 - Did I? - Arggh! 798 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,283 Oh, fuck off, ya ugg boot. 799 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,408 Ya fuckin' dirty skank! 800 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,563 Hey, Johno! Settle. This is business. 801 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,642 Tank, take him outside. 802 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,130 Polish me Harley. 803 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,282 But I fuckin' polished it yesterday! 804 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,647 Oh, fuck off me! Fuck off! 805 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,130 Come here, Shaz. 806 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,249 Tell me what you need. Maybe I can help ya. 807 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:42,086 Now, Shazza told Angry she needed to go up to Ayers Rock to see her mum. 808 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,845 I reckon Shazza should've bought a lotto ticket, 809 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,047 'cause it was her lucky day. 810 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,921 Right, here's the keys to the van. 811 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,888 This is a fuel card. 812 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,848 It's only good for fuel. 813 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,366 So, you make the drop, you can go and see your mum. 814 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:01,887 And then you bring the van back. 815 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,247 Do not fuck this up. 816 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,764 Arggh! 817 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:13,485 Oi, Dazza! 818 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,768 Get up, ya bloody gronk. We're goin' on a road trip. 819 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,806 Kev! 820 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,282 They took the kids, you stupid arsehole! They took 'em! 821 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,726 They took our babies! You bastard! 822 00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:27,210 Kev, what's going on, mate? 823 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,522 Fuckin' DOCS took the kids, bro. 'Cause they burnt down the school again. 824 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,488 Fuck you, Kevin! It's your fuckin' fault! 825 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,960 No wait! This could work out real good, right? 826 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,450 Youse won't need child care, 827 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,727 'cause me and Shazza, we're doin' a road trip. 828 00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:41,007 - You guys wanna come? - Yeah. 829 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,764 Oh, fuck yeah! 830 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,410 Hey, Mum! 831 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,687 We're goin' on a fuckin' road trip! 832 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:48,284 When are ya fuckin' comin' back? 833 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,203 I don't fuckin' know! 834 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,964 Well, fuck off then! 835 00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,281 Ahhh! Ahhh! 836 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,203 (Squeals) - Ahhhh! 837 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:57,964 (Phone rings) 838 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,009 - Ahh! Ahh! - Hello? 839 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,650 Franky! Franky! 840 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,405 Dazza, bro, I'm having a threesome at the moment, man. 841 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,529 We're going to Ayers Rock, mate! We've got this mad campervan, mate. 842 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,127 It's got TV, DVDs, got a shower and a dunny even. 843 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:14,610 - Franky... - Hey! 844 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,331 - We've got a fridge full of free piss. - Free piss? 845 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,482 So get your houso arse on the bus! Come on, mate! 846 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,528 Why are we still talking on the phone, man? 847 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,161 Are you fuckin' serious, Franky? 848 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,811 I bludged me shift at the strip club for this root. 849 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,167 Yeah, and I was finally gettin' me rhythm on. 850 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,606 None of us blew, so it's all equals, man. 851 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,763 Oh, we don't have all fuckin' day, Franky! Jesus! 852 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,649 We'll fuckin' finish each other off. 853 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,041 Hey, wait a minute. 854 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,761 Hey! Did one of youse pull the tarp off the Corvette? 855 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:48,761 Nun! 856 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,411 I think someone's been stoogin' around with it. 857 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,243 Where's the engine? 858 00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,287 (All cheer) 859 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:00,770 Road trip, mate! 860 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,569 Spewin' about that engine, but. 861 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,723 Oh, hey, what the fuck are those fobs up to, bro? 862 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,967 Hey! Hey! 863 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,850 Hey, you coconuts! Is that my engine? 864 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,320 Hey, you didn't pay us the money for the child support, 865 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,130 so we're selling your engine so we can go get some money. 866 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,610 Ha, ha! 867 00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,648 Why is Donkey Kong in the nude? 868 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:24,530 He doesn't want to get his clothes dirty. 869 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,681 Stupid. 870 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,444 Don't get oil on your dip stick! 871 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,523 I've just gotta steal another engine. Sucked in! 872 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,045 Stupid fobs, mate. 873 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,931 Hey, this bed's mad. I'm gonna get up and have a go. 874 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,571 Oi! Just get down, Franky. 875 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,642 Franky, get down! 876 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,167 Oh, man! This is like full comfortable, man. 877 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,401 - Just sit down in your seat, mate. - Take it easy. 878 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,368 Why didn't youse tell me there was a bed? 879 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,647 I would have brought one of the chicks. 880 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,642 So the bikies said all we have to do 881 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:55,484 is drive the van up there and drive it back? 882 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,848 Well, don't fuckin' argue. It means I get to see me mum. 883 00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,888 Anyway, they give us a fridge full of piss. 884 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,803 What more do ya fuckin' want, eh? 885 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,087 Hey, what's this? 886 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,642 Whose is these bags? 887 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,766 BAZZA: Now, Shazza's being a bit of a sly bugger here. 888 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,809 The bikies usually run naughty stuff up to the Territory 889 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,802 in the back of this old couple's caravan. 890 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,371 But the old biddies got busted the other week. 891 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:33,001 Well, looks like opportunity was knocking for everyone involved. 892 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,129 Right, here's the keys to the van. 893 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,488 The bikies, they needed a driver, 894 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,528 and Shazza needed a way to see her mum. 895 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,761 Hey. ls all these, like, you know, drugs in these bags and the guns up there, 896 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,762 are they like complimentary as well? 897 00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,888 Oi! Just put the shit back, would ya! 898 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:58,723 So these are not complimentary? 899 00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:01,246 - What, you mean we're mules? - Did you make us mules? 900 00:45:01,240 --> 00:45:03,004 - Hey? - Shazza, ya sly bitch. 901 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,490 Yeah, alright. 902 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,086 So we're movin' shit for the bikies. 903 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,208 If youse had come up with some more cash, 904 00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,567 I wouldn't have had to bullshit ya, would I? 905 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,369 You fuckin' lyin' slut, Shazza! 906 00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,250 I don't mind doin' the crime. I just wanna know I'm doin' it. 907 00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:18,527 Oh, shit, there's a booze bus comin' up! 908 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,208 - Shit! - Quick, hide that shit, man! 909 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,647 Well, fuckin' hold this! I've got an idea on my brain. Let me drive. Move. 910 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,371 - Just take it. Just get in there. - Fuck! 911 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,647 - Switch mate, switch. - Shit! 912 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,601 Hey, hey, hey, look who it is. The K-Mart fuckin' thong slapper. 913 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,568 Fuckin' Falzoni. 914 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,210 Let me handle it, man. 915 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,725 Stop there! 916 00:45:42,720 --> 00:45:45,849 Stop fuckin' there! Stop here! 917 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,444 Oh... oh, here? 918 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,841 - Hey! - Fuck! 919 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,810 - Stop the fucking vehicle here! - Just one minute. I need a sip. 920 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,928 ...arrest you, Falzoni! (Tyres screech) 921 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,127 What the fuck are you doin'? Just fuckin' stop! 922 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,010 - Stop the car, Falzoni! Here! - There? OK. 923 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,401 Fuckin' stop! Stop here! 924 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,368 - Relax, mate! - Get the fuck out! 925 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,728 - I'm comin'. - Get out the other fuckin' side now. 926 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,246 BAZZA: You're probably wondering what Franky's up to. 927 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:14,131 Well, he may look stupid, but he's always got a plan. 928 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,010 Listen, meet me at the Macca's, like, near on the freeway. 929 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,571 I'll be there. Wait for me, alright? I'll be there. 930 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,011 Alright. Youse can arrest on me now. 931 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,685 You're not getting away this time, you little shitbag! 932 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,170 Hey, look at this, mate! 933 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,686 Franky wanted to create so much shit with the coppers 934 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,967 that they'd forget all about the van. 935 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,485 Tastes like bacon. 936 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,608 Let's pepper-spray the prick! 937 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,889 Doesn't work! 'Cause of the sunnies, you dickheads! 938 00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:42,927 - (Grunts) - Fuck! 939 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,605 (All grunt and yell) 940 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,489 Taser the little fuck! 941 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,530 (Electrical sizzling) 942 00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,807 (Groans) 943 00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,044 mew 944 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,362 (All yell) 945 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,203 Sucked in! 946 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,970 The bourbon covered the electric effect, mate! 947 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,883 BAZZA: Franky's plan worked like a charm. 948 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,087 The coppers went apeshit after him. 949 00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:20,289 Oh, and the van full of naughty stuff got away soot-free. 950 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,401 Don't go over the fence! Cut him off at the park. 951 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,084 I know what this little prick's like! 952 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:30,085 ♪ ROCK MUSIC 953 00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,283 - He's gone there, Garry! - Yep. 954 00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:47,724 (Rock music continues) 955 00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:57,363 Garry, I'm not jumping over another fence. Just fuckin' kick it in. 956 00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,443 - Jump the fucking fence. - Just kick the fuckin' thing in, mate. 957 00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,086 - (Gasps) - That's fuckin' him. 958 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,570 (imitates woman) Hello. 959 00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,530 Hey. Hey, hey, it's a fuckin' burqa. 960 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:13,205 This case could go on forever if we get this fuckin' wrong. 961 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,363 Remember what they taught us? Always be fuckin' sure. 962 00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,762 Hey, hey, hey. Look at the fuckin' thongs. 963 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,491 - Huh? - Look at those fuckin' bunions. 964 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,608 - It's him, Gaz. - Oh, it's him. 965 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,370 Piss off, dickhead! 966 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:33,964 Argh! 967 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,486 GARRY: Come back here, Falzoni, ya little fucker! 968 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,209 I can't fuckin' chase anymore! 969 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,168 Oh, for fuck's sake, try! 970 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,084 I've got a massive stitch, or I'm havin' a fuckin' heart attack. 971 00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,570 You know why? 972 00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,723 It's because of all the fuckin' chips you stole off me, you fuckwit. 973 00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:49,210 Oh! 974 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,322 (Siren wails in distance) 975 00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:01,643 ANGRY: This is the way it's gonna go, boys. 976 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,847 You go in with a shottie - boom, boom. 977 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,330 You go in... 978 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,971 (Laughter) 979 00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:13,888 You know , when that new batch hits Alice, we're rolling in money. 980 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,565 He went down like a sack of shit. 981 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:20,007 And I just fully started stomping, caving his head in. 982 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,243 Caving his head in, the stupid fuck! 983 00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:25,208 He doesn't even know who I am! 984 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,282 Fuck you! Fuck you! 985 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:28,805 (Snap!) 986 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,609 Fuckin' training wheels. 987 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,251 BAZZA: Now after losing the booze bus cops, 988 00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:36,801 Franky knew he'd only have to worry about the coppers on pushbikes. 989 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,930 JOHNO: Argh! Some arsehole stole my fuckin' bike! 990 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:45,050 Yeah, and with Johno's bike, he thought he could outrun them easy. 991 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:49,284 But what Franky didn't know was that the Sunnyvale Area Command 992 00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,284 had allocated a couple of new vehicles to the block. 993 00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,806 Yep, brand-new spanking bikes. 994 00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,087 (Sirens wail) - Pull over! Pull over! 995 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,091 Go round! Cut him off! 996 00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,204 Fuck off! 997 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,487 (Laughs) Sucked in, mate! 998 00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:33,167 - Falzoni! - Run, boys! 999 00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:34,969 Pull over! 1000 00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,804 Falzoni! 1001 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,849 ♪ HIP-HOP 1002 00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,650 What the fuck happened to me bike? 1003 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:02,970 Mobile Two, 1004 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:06,851 Falzoni's heading down towards Ramsey Street on a blue chopper. 1005 00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,490 Intercept! 1006 00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:23,166 (Heavy metal plays on mobile phone) 1007 00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,601 - Pull over! - Pick up! 1008 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,964 Franky. 1009 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:33,450 Crystal, put Kazza on! 1010 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,842 (Slurs) Here, it's Franky for you. 1011 00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:40,561 KAZZA: Yeah, Franky? - I need ya to do something for me. 1012 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,848 I'm comin' now! 1013 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,248 Do it now! 1014 00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:53,084 Now! Now! 1015 00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,651 Do it now! Now! 1016 00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,410 (Grunts) 1017 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,129 Argh! 1018 00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,325 That would have to be at least 12 demerit points, dickhead. 1019 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:24,244 BAZZA: These two coppers have been on pushbikes for years, 1020 00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:28,404 and the very first day they get road bikes, they wrote one off completely 1021 00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,801 and the junkies stripped the other one for parts. 1022 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,202 - Yeah, suck this, copper! - Fuck! 1023 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,283 Hand in your badges now. 1024 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,604 Well, those two got fired and they had to work as security guards 1025 00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:42,931 somewhere in the bush. 1026 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,081 Hey! (All cheer) 1027 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,329 Stupid bikies, mate, sucked in! Dickheads, mate. Dickheads. 1028 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,811 DAZZA: Go, Kevin! 1029 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,529 Have a go, Nessa! 1030 00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:10,161 I've never done it in a campervan before. Fuck, it's romantic! 1031 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:14,643 Hey, don't distract me with sex noises. I'm a bit pissed and the road's blurry. 1032 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,244 It's hard to concentrate, mate. 1033 00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,765 I'll be really quiet, eh? 1034 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,762 - I was talkin' to them, yeah? (Nessa moans) 1035 00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,444 Fuckin' black magic, Kevin! 1036 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,727 Goin' for another Baby Bonus, are youse? 1037 00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:25,768 Fuck yeah! Oh, yes! 1038 00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:27,569 Hey, hold this for a second. 1039 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:31,929 You have to do the GPS, man, 'cause my hand's busy with the bottle. 1040 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,763 I love computers. 1041 00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,207 Me mum said she only lives about 20 minutes away from the Rock, eh? 1042 00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,123 - Oh, right. (Moaning and grunting) 1043 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,441 - I fuckin' love this campervan, Kevin! - Whoo! 1044 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:45,365 I put Ayers Rock in. It just says go straight for three hours. 1045 00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,966 Three hours? That doesn't sound right, babe. 1046 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,769 It's what the computer says. 1047 00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:53,128 Thanks for makin' me look like a dickhead in front of me mates again! 1048 00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,169 Fuckin' relax! I was just askin', ya sook. 1049 00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:58,162 No need to be such a bitch about it! 1050 00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,084 To be fair, man, you can be a bit of a sook, you know. 1051 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:02,809 You do it! 1052 00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:04,689 NESSA: Oh yeah, Kevin! (Grunts) 1053 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:05,886 (Kevin moans) 1054 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,882 I've never done it in a campervan, Kevin! 1055 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,888 It's not very impressive, eh? 1056 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:28,410 Oh! Isn't it amazing? It's so spiritual, hey? 1057 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:32,883 Look mate, I hate to tease you in front of your friends, but that's not it. 1058 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,211 You're a fuckin' dickhead. 1059 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:38,091 Oh, well what is it then, the Taj Mahal, huh, from China? 1060 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:40,731 Look, man. It's a servo. 1061 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:45,964 (Hollow knocking) 1062 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,964 - Err! - See, it's hollow, isn't it? 1063 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,531 Hollow like your fuckin' head! 1064 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:55,889 BAZZA: So after a little bit of confusion, they were on their way. 1065 00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:00,044 But In true Sunnyvale style, all the temptations on the way 1066 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,202 were very hard to resist. 1067 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,680 Hey, let's all go to Nimbin! 1068 00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,489 (All cheer) 1069 00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:10,963 Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! Nimbin! 1070 00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,281 Nimbin! Nimbin! 1071 00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,607 (Laughter) 1072 00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,491 Hey, hey, let's go to Ned Kelly's grave! 1073 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,767 (Cheering) 1074 00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:32,929 Neddy! 1075 00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:40,124 (Wails) Oh, Ned! You're a legend! 1076 00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:41,963 Shazza! 1077 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:46,170 - I gotta go see Bon Scott's grave. - (Laughs) 1078 00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:47,730 NOW! 1079 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,011 Oh, they detoured bloody everywhere, 1080 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,241 but finally they made it to Alice Springs. 1081 00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:10,801 Now, all they had to do was drop off the bikies' gear 1082 00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,280 and it was time to see Shazza's mum. 1083 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,003 SHAZZA: Hi! 1084 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,401 Oi! Hello! 1085 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,971 Hey, there's a note. 1086 00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:31,966 It says, like, urn, 'Sorry for the inconveni... venience. 1087 00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,645 We are busy burying someone. 1088 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,042 Be back later. The bickies.' 1089 00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,530 Bikies. Bikies. 1090 00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,561 (Pants) I love you, Kevin. 1091 00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,130 (Grunting and groaning) 1092 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:51,207 Fuck, all that shit with the bikies has given me a fuckin' headache. 1093 00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,089 Give us a fuckin' smoke. 1094 00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,641 - That's me last fuckin' one! - Oh, fuckin' pull ya head in, dickhead. 1095 00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,889 (Both grunt and groan) - Blah! 1096 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,043 (sighs happily) 1097 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,970 WOMAN: Who the fuck's that? (Coughs) 1098 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,486 Mum, is that you? 1099 00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,926 It's me, Sharon! 1100 00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,766 Oh, come right in, love. I'm out the back in the bedroom. 1101 00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,764 Say hi to your mum for me, alright? We're gonna watch the van. 1102 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,491 Yeah, you weren't invited anyway, ya dickhead. 1103 00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,130 Cam, Ness. 1104 00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,723 Is that you, Sharon? 1105 00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,001 Yes, Mum. It's me. 1106 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,490 Oh! 1107 00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,286 Um, hi, I'm Vanessa, Shazza's mate. 1108 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:18,001 I've got a great arse, don't ya think? 1109 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,651 Would ya fuck off, Nessa? Jesus! 1110 00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:26,362 Well, I'll just go watch TV. Hope you got fuckin' Foxtel! 1111 00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:32,689 Thanks for coming, love. 1112 00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,523 Yeah, what's wrong with you, anyway? 1113 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:40,527 Well, the doctors reckon it's the fags, but they're fuckin' liars anyway. 1114 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:48,811 - You haven't got one, have ya, love? - Oh, um, nah, sorry. 1115 00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,848 I just smoked me last one, eh? 1116 00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:54,162 (Coughs, gags) 1117 00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:58,722 Oh, fuck me! Look at all these animals! 1118 00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,848 It's like Noah's Park. Have a look! 1119 00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,002 (Animals grunt) 1120 00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,403 Which one's got the biggest dick? 1121 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,927 The kiwi. om Nah. (Laughs) 1122 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,524 (LOWS) 1123 00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:18,605 Camels, mate. They look similar to the Assassins, them. Look at 'em. 1124 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:21,080 It does look like Abdul. You gotta admit it, mate. 1125 00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,651 (Hisses) (Hisses, all laugh) 1126 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,529 You know what I hate? 1127 00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,124 - I hate kangaroos, man. - What?! 1128 00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,805 They think they're good. They're on everything. 1129 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,041 They're on like underpants of Olympic swimmers, 1130 00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,725 they're like on like coins and notes and this and that. 1131 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,882 They're just wankers of the animal world. 1132 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,167 They're like heroes, man! Like Ned Kelly. 1133 00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:42,721 Shazza, I got you here to apologise 1134 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,849 to you, love, for leaving you when you were three. 1135 00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:49,083 Yeah, well, it was pretty fuckin' fucked in the face of ya. 1136 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:50,923 It wasn't my fault. 1137 00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,810 Your dad had gambling debts coming out of his arse. 1138 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,883 Oh, blame Dad. He was always there for us. 1139 00:59:56,880 --> 01:00:01,329 It wasn't my fault! I had to create 18 fuckin' false identities 1140 01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,049 to pay off his debts. 1141 01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,088 Are you fuckin' serious? 1142 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:08,004 The cops were after me. I had to piss off. 1143 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:12,961 Shit, Mum! Why didn't you say something before? 1144 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:15,008 Can ya forgive me? 1145 01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:20,926 Um, is it just me, or is there, like, no fuckin' TV in here? 1146 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,651 How can you live without a fuckin' TV? 1147 01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,007 Don't know why youse are standing over there, mate. 1148 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,241 - It stinks from them animals. - Yeah, alright. 1149 01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,607 Hey, Kev, give us your phone. 1150 01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,807 - I want to show Franky that app we got. - Oh, yeah! 1151 01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,326 - Check this out, man. It's a pussy. - What do you mean? 1152 01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,961 Look at it, man. Get your finger and rub the pussy and it's gonna come. 1153 01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,122 - On the screen? - On the screen, man. Look, rub. 1154 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,361 (Woman moans with pleasure, phone beeps) 1155 01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:45,408 - It's like a chick. - Keep goin', keep goin'. 1156 01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:48,210 What, I go quicker'? I get it now! You do this and then... 1157 01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,725 I see. (Laughs) 1158 01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:51,927 - Hey, look at that! (Moaning intensifies) 1159 01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,366 (All laugh, woman yells with pleasure) 1160 01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,488 (Woman screams) - Dickhead, mate! 1161 01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,642 It's fucked on it. Here, take it. 1162 01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,130 - What? - Not my fault! 1163 01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,963 - Hey! Mmm. (Bottle sloshes) 1164 01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:05,691 Watch me give these animals the shits, fully. 1165 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,082 (Both laugh) 1166 01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,128 Skippy, ya big poof, come here, mate. 1167 01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:12,929 - Go, Franky! - Oh! 1168 01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,649 Watch this. (Laughs) 1169 01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:16,051 - Go, Skippy! - Yeah! 1170 01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,089 Catch him! Catch him! Dive on his tail! 1171 01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:23,970 We're so similar, you and me. 1172 01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:26,327 Fuckin' rortin' Centrelink 1173 01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:30,644 and fuckin' fucked up de factos and you love ya smokes. 1174 01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,404 Do ya bong on, Mum? 1175 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:38,407 Not now, but back in the days, I loved a bucket bong. 1176 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,165 Mum! (Laughs) 1177 01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:42,730 Ah, excuse me. 1178 01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:44,882 You know ya got nothin' in ya fuckin' fridge? 1179 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:46,723 - Go, Franky! - Yeah, go, Franky! 1180 01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:48,324 Who am I, mate? 1181 01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,970 Who am I, ya big poof? 1182 01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,769 Franky's being an emu too! 1183 01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:53,569 (Both laugh) (Shrieks at emu) 1184 01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,164 I can't tell the difference! 1185 01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,766 - Watch out he doesn't peck ya! - Come on! 1186 01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,843 - Oh, he's cheesin' him up! - I'll get ripped up. 1187 01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:03,241 - Hit it! Hit it! - You want a go? 1188 01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:05,607 - You want a go, bird?! - Smash him! 1189 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,489 I swear, I hate these animals, man. 1190 01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,086 He's got a big bum, like my missus. 1191 01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,367 (Laughter) - You're right, Kev! 1192 01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:14,567 The emu's arse is the same as your missus! 1193 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,481 It's piss-boring in there, eh? 1194 01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,482 Well, get your big arse down here, woman! 1195 01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:23,131 Franky's doin' some funny shit! (Laughs) 1196 01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:26,966 (Emu shrieks) - Should I go in? Alright, I'll go in. 1197 01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:32,282 Hey, I thought ya said ya didn't have smokes, ya bitch. 1198 01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:35,727 Oh, come on, Mum. It was me third-last one. 1199 01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,210 (Laughter in distance) 1200 01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:42,047 Oi! Would youse fuckin' shut up?! I'm tryin' to talk to me fuckin' mum! 1201 01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:43,644 (Laughter) - (Yells) 1202 01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,044 - Pecked me on the dick! (Growls) 1203 01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,202 - You bastard! (Smash!) 1204 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,725 It pecked him on the pecker! 1205 01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,007 (Laughter in distance) 1206 01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,963 You have it, Mum. 1207 01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:02,126 Shazza, I'm fuckin' proud of you. You turned out real good. 1208 01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:03,770 Thanks, Mum. 1209 01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,206 Give it a lick, mate! Give it a lick! That'll fix it! 1210 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,851 - (Groans) - Oh, now him too! 1211 01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,490 Let me film it. Let me film it. 1212 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:13,882 Shaz, do me a favour. 1213 01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:18,568 When I'm gone, take me ashes up on top of Ayers Rock 1214 01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:21,928 and scatter 'em all over the place. 1215 01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,161 I promise, Mum. 1216 01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,208 You're a good girl, Shaz. 1217 01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,362 (Coughs) 1218 01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,569 Mum! Mum, are you alright? 1219 01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,722 (Coughs and groans) 1220 01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,520 (All laugh and chat) 1221 01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:41,404 Oi! 1222 01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:46,122 Oi! Me mum just fuckin' died! 1223 01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:55,445 (Nessa moans, thumping) 1224 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:57,329 Oh, yes, Kevin! Give it to me! 1225 01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,004 Hey, Franky! 1226 01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,765 That was a top idea selling the fuel to pay for the cremation. 1227 01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:05,731 I am amazed at the ideas that come on my brain, Dazza. 1228 01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:09,322 BAZZA: Oh, the cheeky buggers. 1229 01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:12,642 They used the bikies' fuel card to fill up that drum with petrol. 1230 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:16,406 Then they drove a half a kay up the road and started undercutting the servo. 1231 01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:20,491 Oh, man! They made a fair bit of money. 1232 01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:22,482 Would have made more if it was high octane. 1233 01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:25,723 Yeah, I wish youse would have got a bit more cash, but. 1234 01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:29,202 I feel fuckin' povo puttin' Mum's ashes in her old ugg boot. 1235 01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:33,603 - It's all good, babe. Sheepskin. - Oh, shut ya fuckin' trap! 1236 01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:35,807 That's fuckin' 100% Australian wool. 1237 01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:02,650 Whoo! 1238 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:15,005 Excuse me, mate, is this the road to the real Ayers Rock, or what? 1239 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,287 Yes, this is the road to the real Ayers Rock. 1240 01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:20,204 $25 entry fee per person. 1241 01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:23,886 What? You're not gonna tell us we have to pay to get in here, are ya? 1242 01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,042 25 bucks? Bro, what have you got in there? 1243 01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:28,327 Waterslides and, like, you know, rides and shit? 1244 01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:30,561 What about if we got our pension cards? 1245 01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,484 Not even 1,000 pension cards will get you in. 1246 01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:38,168 Simply pay, or disappear out of my life once and for all. 1247 01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,447 Mate, how dare you try and block us 1248 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,807 like this is fuckin' Facebook or some shit?! 1249 01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,690 We got a right to see that rock, ya fuckin' cockhead. 1250 01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,206 Same as we got a right to celebrate the Anzacs 1251 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:50,328 for ﬂoggin' the Chinese back in the day. 1252 01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:51,367 ♪ FANFARE 1253 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,010 We're Aussies, mate. 1254 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,447 Ya gotta let us in, ya fuckin' four-eyed knob jockey. 1255 01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:00,411 We have those fees so that fuckin' four-eyed knob jockeys like me 1256 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:04,007 can keep bogans like you from coming in here and wrecking the place. 1257 01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,367 So buzz off. 1258 01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:10,524 BAZZA: Now, people in Sunnyvale might be lazy and they might be bludgers. 1259 01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:14,844 But one thing about us - we're not used to takin' no for an answer. 1260 01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:17,650 You don't wanna give us permission? Stuff ya, then. 1261 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,290 We'll just break in. 1262 01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,329 (Laughs) Mate, that wasn't even a challenge. 1263 01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:25,449 There was no barbed wire fence, no security cameras. 1264 01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,930 Pfft! (Laughs) 1265 01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,929 Look at this. 1266 01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:38,049 Is that a UFO, man? 1267 01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,003 - What? - Where'd it go? 1268 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,082 You're fuckin' seein' things, bro. Let's go. 1269 01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:48,084 ♪ THE FUNKOARS: Vamoose 1270 01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,047 We're not seriously climbing that? 1271 01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:14,522 It was me mum's dyin' wish. Fuckin' come on. 1272 01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:18,882 No, fuck this, bro. Do I look like a forklift to you? 1273 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,201 I don't want to carry this shit all the way up there. 1274 01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,680 Why don't we just do the barbecue over here? 1275 01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:26,843 It can be the tribute to death to the mother barbecue. 1276 01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:38,009 (All cheer) 1277 01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:41,449 (Sizzling) 1278 01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:46,244 ♪ HEAVY METAL 1279 01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:11,404 ♪ KING TIDE: Chemical 1280 01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,443 (Tin rattles) 1281 01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,487 KYLIE, ON PHONE: I love you. I love you a lot. 1282 01:08:40,480 --> 01:08:42,642 Kylie! (Echoes) 1283 01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:47,521 If you can hear me up there, I fully miss you! 1284 01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:49,966 Kylie!! 1285 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,128 (Laughs) 1286 01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:04,043 (Grunting and groaning) 1287 01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:05,883 (Nessa yells) 1288 01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:10,408 That's it, boys. Give 'em an Ularoot, Housos style. That's it. 1289 01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:12,402 Hey, hey, Franky! Check this out! 1290 01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:14,482 Where's the clown who wouldn't let us in now? 1291 01:09:14,480 --> 01:09:15,970 I wish he could see youse! 1292 01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:17,962 Fancy that dickhead sayin' they're tryin' 1293 01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,122 to keep people like us outta here. 1294 01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,610 What's wrong with us? 1295 01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,728 - Hey, Dazza! (Both hoot and holler) 1296 01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:25,210 What the fuck are you doing? 1297 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,249 Hey, I'm gonna go for a climb. I'll be back later. Hectic! 1298 01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:30,368 (Grunting and moaning) 1299 01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:32,203 Oh, give me Ayers Rock style, mate! 1300 01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:36,285 (Moaning and yelling) 1301 01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:39,284 ♪ THE FUNKOARS: It's All Good 1302 01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,841 Hey, Shaz, do ya reckon I'd get wasted if I snorted your mum's ashes? 1303 01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,686 You are deadset fucked in the face, aren't ya? 1304 01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,684 (Siren wails) 1305 01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,081 Did ' - You invite them to the orgy? (Laughs) 1306 01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,001 BAZZA: Sometimes your luck can go from good to bad 1307 01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:18,004 in the time it takes to fill out your Centrelink forms. 1308 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:19,923 Look who it is. 1309 01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:21,684 That's the two coppers who got fired, 1310 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:24,843 and I think it's fair to say they're still pretty shitty. 1311 01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:26,444 Fuckin' housos. 1312 01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,609 Ha. It's not one of my best ones, 1313 01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:41,171 but, I swear, who would have thought tagging Ayers Rock 1314 01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:43,128 would be easier than tagging a train? 1315 01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:46,681 Sunnyvale for life, Australia! 1316 01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,967 Yeah! 1317 01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:53,249 ♪ BROKEN ENGLISH: Don't Go Getting Caught 1318 01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:55,811 (Swearing and shouting) 1319 01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:57,450 (Shouting) 1320 01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:20,725 In breaking news, the former Mayor of Sunnyvale, Simon Abbott, 1321 01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:23,007 has been elected into the Federal Parliament. 1322 01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:26,129 As the new Federal Minister for National Monuments, 1323 01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:30,205 I would just like to say that places like the Sydney Harbour Bridge 1324 01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:33,409 and the Opera House, in fact, all our national monuments, 1325 01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:36,847 will be protected vigorously by my ministry. 1326 01:11:36,840 --> 01:11:38,410 Thank you. 1327 01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:40,721 In national news, four people have been arrested 1328 01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:43,041 for breaking into Uluru National Park. 1329 01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:47,364 Unconfirmed reports claim they started fires and had an orgy. 1330 01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:49,886 - Bloody hell! - That's Mum! 1331 01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:51,644 (Laughs) 1332 01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:53,927 (Shrieks abuse) 1333 01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:56,491 BIKIES: Whoo! Yeah! 1334 01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:58,369 (Shouting) 1335 01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:01,330 Shut up! Shut the fuck up! 1336 01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:05,325 Apparently the group made a barbecue, had sex, took drugs 1337 01:12:05,320 --> 01:12:09,882 and then defaced the rock by covering this section in graffiti. 1338 01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:14,283 Yeah! Go, Sunnyvale! Go, Sunnyvale! Yeah! 1339 01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:17,204 Shut up, you idiots! 1340 01:12:17,200 --> 01:12:21,683 Can't you see in the background - the coppers have got our campervan. 1341 01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:25,401 (Screaming, yelling) 1342 01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:28,687 That's bloody disgusting! 1343 01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,409 Bloody outrageous! 1344 01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:33,165 NEWSREADER : The group are not from the Northern Territory, 1345 01:12:33,160 --> 01:12:36,403 but from the notorious housing estate known as The Block, 1346 01:12:36,400 --> 01:12:38,767 in Sunnyvale, New South Wales. 1347 01:12:38,760 --> 01:12:41,923 REPORTER: What's your reaction to this arrest? 1348 01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,287 You guys, like, film everything and that, eh, 1349 01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:47,602 and then like f--- it up on TV and make us look like we're f---ed, eh? 1350 01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:49,841 - We're not f---ed. - Yeah, we're not f---ed. 1351 01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:52,844 - It's just a rock. - Yeah, but, I mean... 1352 01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:54,763 I'm standing on a rock now. 1353 01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:57,206 - Have a look. - Yeah, but it's not Ayers Rock. 1354 01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,043 What's your response to that? 1355 01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:04,729 Oh, what's your response to these is a bit more like it, don't ya think? 1356 01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:06,688 Simon, get in here! 1357 01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,409 Senator. 1358 01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:11,563 I hated those scumbags when I was Mayor of Sunnyvale. 1359 01:13:11,560 --> 01:13:15,485 How dare they desecrate one of our great national objects? 1360 01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:21,322 Simon, I want to be kept informed of all the details regarding this case. 1361 01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:31,043 What do you reckon happened to Franky? 1362 01:13:31,040 --> 01:13:33,281 Oh, I don't know. Maybe a dingo ate him. 1363 01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,362 (Both laugh) - Shut the fuck up! 1364 01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:37,408 The judge is about to talk. 1365 01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:40,006 Miss Jones. 1366 01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,287 Mr Smith. 1367 01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:45,284 Mr... Takamatu? 1368 01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,045 And Miss Talawahoo. 1369 01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:51,442 Have you got anything to say before I pass sentence? 1370 01:13:51,440 --> 01:13:52,930 Yeah. 1371 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:55,048 Listen, Judge, matey, I do, alright? 1372 01:13:55,040 --> 01:13:59,204 All I was tryin' to do was sprinkle me mum's ashes 1373 01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:02,921 what are in that ugg boot right there on top of the rock. 1374 01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:07,847 Now, can you tell me, as an Australian, how can that possibly be illegal? 1375 01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:09,330 You tell him, Sharon! 1376 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,322 Yeah, and, mate, it's un-Australian 1377 01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:15,609 for you to tell us that, on our own rock, we can't have a barbecue. 1378 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:17,967 It's a bloody Aussie tradition, mate. 1379 01:14:17,960 --> 01:14:20,201 - Fuckin' tell him, Shaz! - Yeah. 1380 01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,806 Now, I don't know much about the Northern Territory, 1381 01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,849 but I heard youse aren't no soft cocks, eh? 1382 01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:29,322 And anyway, even if what we done was illegal, 1383 01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:32,722 as a true-blue Aussie, it wasn't wrong, mate. 1384 01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:35,451 Especially here in the Territory. 1385 01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:39,411 This place is the piss-sinking capital of Australia, 1386 01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:43,564 and I, for one, fuckin' love it! 1387 01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:45,927 (Applause) 1388 01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:52,724 Miss Jones, you know, you're bloody right. 1389 01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:56,486 In this part of Australia, we still love a beer and a barbie. 1390 01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:58,847 (Whispers) And the occasional bong. 1391 01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:01,446 - Oh, what a cone-head! (Chuckling) 1392 01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:03,841 I'm gonna let youse off with a warnin'. (Bangs gavel) 1393 01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:05,808 Case dismissed. 1394 01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:07,768 Bailiff, give 'em all a beer on the way out. 1395 01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:09,205 Oh, yeah, bro! 1396 01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:12,409 So it's cool to sprinkle me mum's ashes on the Rock, eh? 1397 01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:14,767 Don't push your luck, darlin'. 1398 01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:20,001 (All cheer) 1399 01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,445 SHAZZA: Freedom! 1400 01:15:21,440 --> 01:15:23,602 BAZZA: Oh, it was a close call, that's for sure. 1401 01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:27,569 ABBOTT: Bloody outrageous! 1402 01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,401 So Shazza got her mum's ashes back. 1403 01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,243 Oh, and how lucky's this? 1404 01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:38,404 They got the camper back, too, without the coppers even searchin' it. 1405 01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:47,683 There's Franky, bro. 1406 01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:49,284 Oh-ho! 1407 01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:52,409 KEV: (Beeps horn) Franky, bro! 1408 01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:03,761 What the fuck's with the gear, Franky? 1409 01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:05,250 What have you been up to, eh? 1410 01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,846 What happened to ya? You've been gone ages, mate. 1411 01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:09,604 Listen, I've gone through some shit. 1412 01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,648 And I do not want to talk about it, please. 1413 01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:14,484 - You rob a Cash Converters, matey? - I said don't ask! 1414 01:16:14,480 --> 01:16:17,086 Bro, you tryin' to start up the Anzacs again, eh? 1415 01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:19,651 Why are you wearin' a seaweed salad on your head, mate? 1416 01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:22,803 - You got hair like Nessa, eh? - 'Eh, eh.' Fuckin' funny. 1417 01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:26,202 Oh, bro, Call of Duty called - they want all their shit back. (Chuckles) 1418 01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:29,522 Yeah, New Zealand called, man - they want their sheep back. 1419 01:16:29,520 --> 01:16:31,761 Without skidmarks on the arse. 1420 01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:34,206 FRANKY: Could we just piss off now, please? 1421 01:16:50,760 --> 01:16:54,401 Angry, just got off the phone to the Alice chapter. 1422 01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:56,767 The stuffs arrived, mate. 1423 01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:59,969 Well... thank fuck for that. 1424 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:04,966 Make a note - we don't use fuckin' housos again. 1425 01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:08,566 What's the go with Franky, mate? 1426 01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:17,327 Franky! Don't you wanna dump that and get in here? 1427 01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:21,041 Dazza, mate, just, like, give me my space, bro. 1428 01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,202 What the fuck happened out in the bush, mate? 1429 01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:26,841 I'm dealing with some issues. Just fuck off. 1430 01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:33,288 What the fuck's up Franky's arse? 1431 01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:37,080 Oi, Daz. Come sit down here with me, bub. 1432 01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:39,208 You know something, babe? 1433 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:43,330 Even after all this shit we went through, it all turned out OK. 1434 01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:45,891 Mum'll just have to come live with us now. 1435 01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:47,723 You're so good, Shaz. 1436 01:17:47,720 --> 01:17:50,849 I really love you, even when you're being a bitch. 1437 01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:53,081 I fuckin' love you too, Dazza. 1438 01:18:14,280 --> 01:18:18,171 Now, when they got back home, everything sort of went back to normal. 1439 01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:20,322 Well, for a little while. 1440 01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:24,688 Kevin, I saw you staring at the chick's arse on the TV! 1441 01:18:24,680 --> 01:18:26,205 Arghhh! 1442 01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:27,929 Oh, you bitch! 1443 01:18:27,920 --> 01:18:29,809 (Moaning, groaning) 1444 01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,326 (All moan and scream) 1445 01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:36,325 (All bark) 1446 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,690 Where's the kids? 1447 01:18:40,680 --> 01:18:43,206 I dunno. They're round here somewhere. 1448 01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:45,726 I can't hear the television! 1449 01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:48,644 God, it was bloody better when you'd all pissed off! 1450 01:18:58,240 --> 01:19:00,925 What the fuck are you doin' in there? Get out. 1451 01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:04,083 I found one, Shaz. But no booze or smokes. 1452 01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:06,401 You know that cupboard's for potatoes. 1453 01:19:06,400 --> 01:19:09,449 Get outta there before you hurt yourself, idiot! 1454 01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:12,523 Tonight on A Current Affairs, the Minister for National Monuments 1455 01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:14,204 talks to us exclusively. 1456 01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:16,123 Minister, good evening. 1457 01:19:16,120 --> 01:19:17,610 Hello, John. 1458 01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:19,602 Oh, not this fuckin' cockface! 1459 01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,682 Today you've announced a Federal crackdown 1460 01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:24,047 on people who disgrace national monuments. 1461 01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:25,929 Would you care to elaborate? 1462 01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:28,400 ABBOTT: Yes. As we saw recently, there has been a wave 1463 01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:32,166 of what I would call anti-Australian behaviour in the community. 1464 01:19:32,160 --> 01:19:36,006 Myself and the Prime Minister agree it has to be stopped. 1465 01:19:36,000 --> 01:19:37,525 Shit, eh? 1466 01:19:39,120 --> 01:19:42,124 Hey, Shazza! There's a million cops out on the street! 1467 01:19:42,120 --> 01:19:44,441 Some stupid mongrel's about to get caned! 1468 01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,444 ♪ HIP-HOP 1469 01:19:49,720 --> 01:19:52,564 PRESENTER: So what's the government's response, Minister? 1470 01:19:52,560 --> 01:19:54,927 I've decided to use new Federal laws 1471 01:19:54,920 --> 01:20:00,165 to rearrest the maggots who showed total disrespect to Uluru last week. 1472 01:20:02,960 --> 01:20:04,962 And I believe this is happening as we speak. 1473 01:20:04,960 --> 01:20:09,284 Yes. These scum-bums have to pay for their hideous crimes. 1474 01:20:09,280 --> 01:20:11,681 Especially the graffiti. 1475 01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:13,170 (Women squeal) 1476 01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:15,288 Shut up, shut up, shut up. I can hear cops. 1477 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:29,011 (Yelling, commotion) 1478 01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:38,766 Where's the sidecar? 1479 01:20:40,760 --> 01:20:45,561 Well, Tank... not a bad little machine. 1480 01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:48,484 Yeah, what goes around comes around, mate. 1481 01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:51,927 ♪ HEAVY METAL 1482 01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:10,008 They've just charged me with graffiti. 1483 01:21:10,000 --> 01:21:12,571 How did they even know I was there? Who's dogged me, man? 1484 01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:14,210 Was it one of youse? 1485 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:17,010 Franky, you can be such a tool. 1486 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:19,526 Your ex-girlfriend Cheree dobbed you in. 1487 01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:21,568 She saw your graffiti on the TV. 1488 01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:25,167 Crime Stoppers? Yep, I want to dob in Franky Falzoni. 1489 01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:27,128 Yeah, I saw some shit on TV. 1490 01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:29,487 He's me ex-de facto and, definitely, he done it. 1491 01:21:29,480 --> 01:21:32,006 Well, let that be a lesson to all of youse. 1492 01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:35,527 Pay your child support to ya missus, no matter how many kids ya got. 1493 01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:39,081 I pay it to my missus, and I haven't even got kids. 1494 01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:43,608 - Senator. - Prime Minister. 1495 01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:48,003 I saw the interview on A Current Affair. Great work. 1496 01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:51,561 Our approval rating is up five points today. 1497 01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:53,050 Thank you. 1498 01:21:53,040 --> 01:21:57,807 Hopefully, we can discourage bogans from defacing our great national monuments. 1499 01:21:57,800 --> 01:22:02,966 Any popular policy is a policy I fully support. 1500 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,564 Good-o. 1501 01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:07,245 BAZZA: Now, having the coppers after you is one thing. 1502 01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:09,891 But having the whole bloody Federal Government after you 1503 01:22:09,880 --> 01:22:11,609 is a different thing altogether. 1504 01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,728 You know you're up the creek without a paddle. 1505 01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:16,564 Look, youse are all shittin' your pants for nothin', I swear. 1506 01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:19,131 I've, like, fully 'organasised' all the legal shit. 1507 01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:22,203 Yeah, well why don't you tell us what the big fuckin' plan is, then? 1508 01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:24,931 If I tell ya, it's gonna jinx the whole thing, alright? 1509 01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:29,289 So just, like, trust me. We got a mad legal defence coming. 1510 01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:43,123 Sorry I'm late. I was outside havin' a smoke. 1511 01:22:43,120 --> 01:22:47,250 Do you realise how far I have to walk because you can't smoke in here? 1512 01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,368 It's a fuckin' mission, mate. 1513 01:22:49,360 --> 01:22:51,124 Franky, ya gotta be fuckin' kidding. 1514 01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:53,805 This fuckin' tic-tac better not be our lawyer. 1515 01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:58,249 Oi! Ya wanna be a smart-arse, I'll go home right now, ya slut! 1516 01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:00,527 Chillax, chillax, will youse? 1517 01:23:00,520 --> 01:23:01,806 Pause. 1518 01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:03,882 (Whispers) Just trust me, alright? Trust me. 1519 01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:06,281 What are you thinkin', Franky, with this Tiny Teddy? 1520 01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,930 He's not even a lawyer, mate. 1521 01:23:07,920 --> 01:23:11,720 Hey, he's small size. That means we're gonna get mad sympathy. 1522 01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:13,643 Them judges are all political correct. 1523 01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:16,246 He's not gonna go against the disabled - a real one. 1524 01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,844 What are you lookin' at? 1525 01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:20,525 It's an acquittal for sure, mate. 1526 01:23:20,520 --> 01:23:23,967 Alright, alright. Let's begin proceedings. 1527 01:23:23,960 --> 01:23:25,724 I should like to start... 1528 01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:28,883 What-what are you doing? 1529 01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,247 What, no smoking? 1530 01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:34,528 And now you're gonna tell me I can't drink? 1531 01:23:34,520 --> 01:23:36,921 What else are you gonna fuckin' throw at me? 1532 01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:38,684 You are not allowed to... 1533 01:23:38,680 --> 01:23:40,967 Don't you fuckin' talk down to me, mate. 1534 01:23:40,960 --> 01:23:42,689 I shall hold you in contempt. 1535 01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:45,570 Do you know who I am?! My brother's a bikie! 1536 01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:49,246 We'll find you and we'll rip your head off, ya muppet. 1537 01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:53,768 Ya dirty fuckin' maggots! Get ya fuckin' hands off me! 1538 01:23:53,760 --> 01:23:57,765 Get off me! Put me down! Do you even know who the fuck I am? 1539 01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:01,127 Would the accused take off his hat? 1540 01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,043 Hey, I know the rules, mate. 1541 01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:06,044 Your CCTV can see my face, so I don't need to take my hat off. 1542 01:24:06,040 --> 01:24:07,849 It's just like in a nightclub. 1543 01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:09,808 I told you to take off your hat. 1544 01:24:10,800 --> 01:24:15,931 Hey, how come he has to take off his hat and you get to wear your wig? 1545 01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:17,410 That's a mad point, mate. 1546 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,448 Don't you try and touch that hat, dickheads. 1547 01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,886 (Chortles) 1548 01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:26,010 (Shouting, commotion) 1549 01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:28,287 - Simon. - Senator. 1550 01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:31,682 Good work using the ASIO CCTV. 1551 01:24:31,680 --> 01:24:33,284 This is gold. 1552 01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,567 SIMON: My God. 1553 01:24:35,560 --> 01:24:37,449 Can you believe that people like this 1554 01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,807 actually share the same air that we breathe? 1555 01:24:41,880 --> 01:24:45,566 Excuse me, bro. Um, I'm feeling a little nervous. Um... 1556 01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:48,370 (Farts) 1557 01:24:48,360 --> 01:24:50,010 You, sir, are disgusting. 1558 01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:53,766 (All exclaim in disgust) 1559 01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:55,091 Oh! 1560 01:24:55,080 --> 01:24:57,447 There's a bit of Rotorua in that one! (Chuckles) 1561 01:24:57,440 --> 01:25:01,968 Hey, Judge! You want me to rip one from my awesome arse? 1562 01:25:01,960 --> 01:25:03,564 No, please, put that away. 1563 01:25:03,560 --> 01:25:06,131 Fuckin' shut up about your arse. Fuck! 1564 01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,610 I'll catch it. 1565 01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:10,524 That, sir, is disgusting. 1566 01:25:10,520 --> 01:25:12,170 Have him out. Out! Out! 1567 01:25:15,320 --> 01:25:18,051 Well, that was a bit rude throwing me out like that. 1568 01:25:18,040 --> 01:25:21,249 We let them go all the time in New Zealand courts. (Chuckles) 1569 01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:26,565 Hey, do youse reckon if I sip on this dwarf juice, I'm gonna grow small? 1570 01:25:26,560 --> 01:25:28,403 (All laugh) 1571 01:25:29,960 --> 01:25:33,931 Now, you all might find yourselves very amusing, 1572 01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:38,687 but you are facing very serious Federal charges. 1573 01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,930 Illegal drug use, 1574 01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:45,446 illegal sexual activity 1575 01:25:45,440 --> 01:25:49,206 and defacing a national monument. 1576 01:25:49,200 --> 01:25:52,488 Matey, I'd like to sub myself in as lawyer, please. 1577 01:25:52,480 --> 01:25:55,051 Refer to me as 'Your Honour'. 1578 01:25:55,040 --> 01:25:57,281 Refer to me as 'Dazza with a big donger'. 1579 01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:02,963 Oh, don't be so rough! 1580 01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:07,090 It's what Ned Kelly would have done, and he's a national sacred object! 1581 01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:08,650 Go, Ned Kelly! 1582 01:26:08,640 --> 01:26:10,927 Alright. Enough is enough. 1583 01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:16,723 I think it's time now that we brought in some proper legal aid for you all. 1584 01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:18,210 Oh, fuck that! 1585 01:26:18,200 --> 01:26:20,646 The last legal aid I used gave me a rash. 1586 01:26:20,640 --> 01:26:23,086 That was a marital aid, ya dickhead. 1587 01:26:23,080 --> 01:26:25,651 - What? - Fuckin' chatty dildo. 1588 01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:26,687 Der. 1589 01:26:28,040 --> 01:26:29,849 Ohh... 1590 01:26:32,240 --> 01:26:33,810 Take her out too. 1591 01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:37,009 Oh, ya fuckin' dirty dog! 1592 01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:39,082 Fuckin' dog! 1593 01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:41,367 (Farts) MEN: Ohh! 1594 01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:43,567 Oh, that's fuckin' chatty, Kevin! 1595 01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:46,131 Fuckin' chair vibrated. (Chuckles) 1596 01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:48,282 Wish I had Ned Kelly's helmet. 1597 01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:51,483 I wanna defend meself. 1598 01:26:51,480 --> 01:26:54,450 And me the same as her, 1599 01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:58,570 to sub myself in as the lawyer for me on my own, to talk. 1600 01:26:58,560 --> 01:27:03,487 If you don't remove your hat, I shall have it removed by force. 1601 01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:06,370 You could try, mate. But, look, let's move on from that, mate. 1602 01:27:06,360 --> 01:27:07,930 What am I here for? 1603 01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,924 I'm in possession of my charges that I'm here to defend myself on, 1604 01:27:10,920 --> 01:27:13,321 so let's just get to that bit where I get into the thing 1605 01:27:13,320 --> 01:27:16,005 that's gonna, like, just get me off the hook and that and... 1606 01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:18,128 - Oh, you sneaky prick! (Laughter) 1607 01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:21,442 I've just had a bloody corker of an idea. 1608 01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:24,205 Let's leak this footage to A Current Affair. 1609 01:27:24,200 --> 01:27:26,407 When the public see these dirtbags in court, 1610 01:27:26,400 --> 01:27:29,768 I'm sure we'll rack up a couple more approval points, hey? 1611 01:27:29,760 --> 01:27:31,285 That is perfect. 1612 01:27:31,280 --> 01:27:34,170 Look, I'll just organise it with the press secretary right now. 1613 01:27:34,160 --> 01:27:36,527 Hey! Look, Judge, mate, 1614 01:27:36,520 --> 01:27:39,729 how about you let me have my say - my say - 1615 01:27:39,720 --> 01:27:42,200 then if I can't prove that I'm fully innocent, 1616 01:27:42,200 --> 01:27:43,964 I'll take off whatever you want, mate. 1617 01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:45,644 Hat, G-string, anything. 1618 01:27:45,640 --> 01:27:48,120 Yeah? Yeah, go. 1619 01:27:48,120 --> 01:27:50,043 You could use a hat, bro. 1620 01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:51,724 OK, your judgeness, 1621 01:27:51,720 --> 01:27:55,202 right now, I'm just gonna skip on to a story I need to tell ya, 1622 01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:57,328 and this is gonna get us off completely. 1623 01:27:57,320 --> 01:28:00,529 I'm warning you, I'm starting to lose my patience. 1624 01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:02,761 Just hold on a minute, will ya, and let me talk 1625 01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,967 'cause this bit's, like, full personal. 1626 01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:08,328 Like, what happened was they got busted by security, 1627 01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:11,802 and I was, like, wandering, like, alone like an idiot in the bush, 1628 01:28:11,800 --> 01:28:14,246 and these black guys, like, I found them. 1629 01:28:15,240 --> 01:28:16,969 You know what they told me? 1630 01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,440 That, like, it's their rock, they own it. 1631 01:28:19,440 --> 01:28:22,603 But, hey, who's rippin' 'em off? Who's stoogin' 'em, mate? 1632 01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:23,886 The Government, mate. 1633 01:28:23,880 --> 01:28:27,726 The money that the Government's pinchin' off them on the door fee to get in, 1634 01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:30,200 it doesn't even go to them, mate, it goes to who knows. 1635 01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:31,804 That's a big rip-off, man. 1636 01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:33,802 Probably your wig tailor. 1637 01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:36,770 I've never owned a house. I've only been in public housing. 1638 01:28:36,760 --> 01:28:39,206 But I think that's a real fuckin' shit go, mate. 1639 01:28:40,640 --> 01:28:42,881 And then I've gone for a piss in the bush. 1640 01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:44,723 And, like, I got kinda lost at that point 1641 01:28:44,720 --> 01:28:47,564 'cause it was all dark and I'm wearin' sunnies most of the time. 1642 01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:50,245 It's a bit stupid, I know, but that's just how I roll. 1643 01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:55,849 In the middle of nowhere, man, there was this army base. 1644 01:28:55,840 --> 01:28:57,968 So t thought t could just, like, get in there 1645 01:28:57,960 --> 01:29:00,964 and just ask 'em to bludge a lift back to somewhere. 1646 01:29:00,960 --> 01:29:02,962 Um, any chance I could get a lift back to...? 1647 01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:04,883 No, no, no, no! Take it easy! 1648 01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:06,450 And how's this, mate? 1649 01:29:06,440 --> 01:29:09,250 American soldiers busted me in this place. 1650 01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:12,926 They told me that the base was American land. 1651 01:29:12,920 --> 01:29:14,843 I don't care what youse got to say. 1652 01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:17,969 This is Australia, man. It's not American soil. 1653 01:29:17,960 --> 01:29:22,284 If ya keep on bullshitting me, I'm gonna lose it, mate! I'll thong ya. 1654 01:29:23,360 --> 01:29:24,850 Can ya believe this? 1655 01:29:24,840 --> 01:29:27,764 You know, on the one foot, they charge you, like, an arm and a leg 1656 01:29:27,760 --> 01:29:29,410 to go in to see a rock, 1657 01:29:29,400 --> 01:29:31,402 and on the other foot, the Government, 1658 01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:34,051 they're givin' away, like, our land from this country 1659 01:29:34,040 --> 01:29:36,168 to other countries for free! 1660 01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:38,766 You know, when I found out about this, I went off the hook. 1661 01:29:41,240 --> 01:29:43,561 Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! 1662 01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:45,324 Oi, oi, oi! 1663 01:29:45,320 --> 01:29:49,006 ♪ PUNK ROCK 1664 01:29:52,400 --> 01:29:53,970 (Gunfire) 1665 01:29:53,960 --> 01:29:56,201 - I'm not scared of bullets, you poofs! (Gunfire) 1666 01:29:56,200 --> 01:29:59,488 I come from a housing commission! I'm not scared of STls! 1667 01:30:04,440 --> 01:30:07,489 (Engine stops) 1668 01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:11,121 (Silence) 1669 01:30:11,120 --> 01:30:12,690 What's going on? 1670 01:30:12,680 --> 01:30:15,206 And I know this bit's gonna sound like bullshit, 1671 01:30:15,200 --> 01:30:18,921 but I swear on all the de facto kids that I lost to DOCS, it's true. 1672 01:30:25,960 --> 01:30:27,883 Oh, no! 1673 01:30:27,880 --> 01:30:29,962 “Mm! 1674 01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:32,361 om (Exclaims) 1675 01:30:43,080 --> 01:30:46,527 (Screams) 1676 01:30:46,520 --> 01:30:50,445 They done, like, you know, a few, like, sick probes on me and that. 1677 01:30:50,440 --> 01:30:53,011 'Cause you wear them fucking girlie shorts all the time. 1678 01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:54,968 What the fuck is wrong with these shorts? 1679 01:30:55,960 --> 01:30:57,769 (Farting) 1680 01:30:57,760 --> 01:30:59,967 Arrgh! (Grunts) 1681 01:30:59,960 --> 01:31:02,804 Ahh, my arse! 1682 01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:05,644 Fuckin' paranormal activity up my arse, mate. 1683 01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:07,210 Argh! 1684 01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,922 Oh... 1685 01:31:16,920 --> 01:31:20,641 Fuck, Franky, what fuckin' drugs were you and them Abos smokin'? 1686 01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:24,042 That's full racist and, look, hey, if there was some drugs 1687 01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:26,725 that might have been taken at that thing, that's alleged. 1688 01:31:26,720 --> 01:31:28,563 - Mm... - You know? It's not bullshit. 1689 01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:33,407 I mean, 'cause I've got that motorbike and I got a pain on the arse. 1690 01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:35,607 (Screams) 1691 01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:37,602 I don't wanna know about your fuckin' arse. 1692 01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:40,922 (Bangs gavel) And how is any of this relevant? 1693 01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:44,242 That shit should not happen to an Australian citizen, mate, 1694 01:31:44,240 --> 01:31:48,370 especially a disabled pensioner like me, as classed by Centrelink. 1695 01:31:48,360 --> 01:31:50,840 I think you should just go for acquittal now. 1696 01:31:50,840 --> 01:31:53,411 You could even, like, erase a couple of fines for me, too. 1697 01:31:53,400 --> 01:31:54,925 That'd be mad. 1698 01:31:54,920 --> 01:31:56,763 All very interesting. 1699 01:31:57,800 --> 01:32:00,371 And now will you take your hat off? 1700 01:32:00,360 --> 01:32:04,410 After that whole story, he's still on about the fuckin' hat. 1701 01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:06,641 You know what? Cop a thong, dickhead! 1702 01:32:06,640 --> 01:32:10,087 Why couldn't ya just leave it?! Fuck! 1703 01:32:10,080 --> 01:32:13,402 (Laughter) - Shh, shh, shh. 1704 01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:18,765 Hi. Is that the head editor of A Current Affair? 1705 01:32:18,760 --> 01:32:20,524 How would you like footage 1706 01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:23,967 of a bogan throwing a thong at a Supreme Court judge? 1707 01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:30,846 I'm surprised you lasted so long, Franky. 1708 01:32:30,840 --> 01:32:32,444 Thong the judge, did ya? 1709 01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:35,728 I missed his stupid wig by, like, only a bee's dick. 1710 01:32:37,640 --> 01:32:40,564 Can I talk now them other dickheads are gone? 1711 01:32:44,760 --> 01:32:47,411 Are we guilty of breakin' in? 1712 01:32:47,400 --> 01:32:51,610 Yes. Why? Well, 'cause we got no money, mate. 1713 01:32:51,600 --> 01:32:55,127 We got no money for fancy suits and nice places to live. 1714 01:32:55,120 --> 01:32:57,805 I can't send my kids to a good school. 1715 01:32:57,800 --> 01:33:01,247 I can't even bury my parents in a nice place. 1716 01:33:01,240 --> 01:33:05,643 And, yeah, we might get smashed and do stupid shit, 1717 01:33:05,640 --> 01:33:09,406 and, well, you can make your laws to stop us havin' fun, 1718 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:13,166 but we're true-blue Aussies, mate, and we ain't backin' down to anyone. 1719 01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:16,323 ALL: Go, Shazza! 1720 01:33:16,320 --> 01:33:18,926 (All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza! 1721 01:33:18,920 --> 01:33:23,960 We're like all the good Aussie heroes - like the Anzacs in World War ll 1722 01:33:23,960 --> 01:33:27,248 and... and Phar Lap and fuckin' Brockie. 1723 01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,811 (All chant) Shazza! Shazza! Shazza! 1724 01:33:29,800 --> 01:33:32,246 Anzacs in World War ll? 1725 01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:34,607 (Chortles) What a faux pas! 1726 01:33:34,600 --> 01:33:38,650 This is why I send my kids to private schools. 1727 01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:41,325 Sunnyvale for life, mother-fuckers! 1728 01:33:41,320 --> 01:33:43,163 - Yeahhh! - Fuckin' Sunnyvale! 1729 01:33:43,160 --> 01:33:48,849 So as a real representative of all true-blue Aussies livin' in Australia, 1730 01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:51,889 I got a message to give to you and your government. 1731 01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:54,281 (sighs) Mm. 1732 01:33:54,280 --> 01:34:00,526 Go get fucked, you small-dicked knob-jockey fuckwit wanker! 1733 01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:03,609 I rest my case. 1734 01:34:03,600 --> 01:34:05,523 ♪ Waltzing Matilda 1735 01:34:06,520 --> 01:34:11,208 I think I went a bit far calling the judge a fuckin' wanker, eh? 1736 01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:13,487 Ned Kelly'd be proud. 1737 01:34:13,480 --> 01:34:15,164 Yeah, fuckin' oath. 1738 01:34:16,680 --> 01:34:19,001 BAZZA: Well, the judge gave them all ten years each 1739 01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:21,606 under the new national monument laws. 1740 01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:23,887 Pretty steep if you ask me. 1741 01:34:23,880 --> 01:34:26,087 And if you bet on any of this coming good, 1742 01:34:26,080 --> 01:34:28,367 I tell ya, it'd be a long shot for sure, mate. 1743 01:34:28,360 --> 01:34:30,727 Yeah, the housos looked truly rooted. 1744 01:34:30,720 --> 01:34:32,882 But it's funny how things turned out. 1745 01:34:32,880 --> 01:34:37,408 That night, A Current Affairs did play the footage that the Senator leaked out. 1746 01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:40,802 Tonight on A Current Affairs, the government department 1747 01:34:40,800 --> 01:34:42,848 that jailed these poor Aussie battlers 1748 01:34:42,840 --> 01:34:47,243 for trying to visit our nation's national symbol, Uluru. 1749 01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:50,403 What?! That's not the story we told them to show! 1750 01:34:50,400 --> 01:34:52,607 It seems that even tabloid TV 1751 01:34:52,600 --> 01:34:55,080 doesn't like the Government tellin' them what to do. 1752 01:34:55,080 --> 01:35:00,246 So, Beryl, the Federal Police have arrested your son and his de facto 1753 01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:01,969 for what exactly? 1754 01:35:01,960 --> 01:35:06,010 They were just trying to sprinkle Sharon's mum's ashes at Ayers Rock. 1755 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:07,490 What's wrong with that? 1756 01:35:07,480 --> 01:35:12,247 If you ask me, there's just too many stupid bloody laws in this country. 1757 01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,801 Now, oh, it's almost like a bushfire around Australia - 1758 01:35:15,800 --> 01:35:19,088 thousands of people were outraged at the treatment of poor Shazza, 1759 01:35:19,080 --> 01:35:20,684 you know, and the others. 1760 01:35:20,680 --> 01:35:23,331 They rang the TV stations, they got on Facebook, 1761 01:35:23,320 --> 01:35:25,561 they even emailed the Prime Minister. 1762 01:35:25,560 --> 01:35:30,122 Senator, what the bloody hell did you do? 1763 01:35:30,120 --> 01:35:36,127 Our polls have dropped 85% and I've received over 60,000 emails. 1764 01:35:36,120 --> 01:35:37,849 This is a disaster. 1765 01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:39,604 Prime Minister, can I just say... 1766 01:35:39,600 --> 01:35:42,001 No. Do not say another word. 1767 01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:44,765 Get Shazza Jones and her mates out of jail 1768 01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:48,890 and make all of this drama go away. 1769 01:35:48,880 --> 01:35:51,565 Or I'm giving your seat to Peter Garrett. 1770 01:35:51,560 --> 01:35:54,450 BAZZA: Oh, you wouldn't read about it. Or you probably would. 1771 01:35:54,440 --> 01:35:56,363 The sentences were all cancelled, 1772 01:35:56,360 --> 01:35:58,488 DOCS gave all the kids back 1773 01:35:58,480 --> 01:36:02,246 and by the time they got home, there was a huge block party waiting for 'em. 1774 01:36:09,080 --> 01:36:11,447 (Whooping, shouting) 1775 01:36:11,440 --> 01:36:13,602 I don't think his nappy's been changed. 1776 01:36:16,680 --> 01:36:18,170 (All cheer) 1777 01:36:18,160 --> 01:36:20,083 If this was any other suburb in Australia, 1778 01:36:20,080 --> 01:36:22,481 this would have been one of the bestest nights ever. 1779 01:36:22,480 --> 01:36:24,005 But not here. 1780 01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:26,367 ♪ I'm on the block, yeah I'm on the block, yeah 1781 01:36:26,360 --> 01:36:28,840 ♪ I'm on the block and I just won't stop, yeah 1782 01:36:28,840 --> 01:36:31,446 ♪ I'm on the block, yeah I'm on the block, yeah 1783 01:36:31,440 --> 01:36:34,171 ♪ I'm on the block and I just won't stop, yeah 1784 01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:36,606 ♪ I'm on the block, yeah I'm on the block, yeah 1785 01:36:36,600 --> 01:36:39,206 ♪ I'm on the block and I just won't stop, yeah 1786 01:36:39,200 --> 01:36:40,850 ♪ I'm on the block... ♪ 1787 01:36:40,840 --> 01:36:42,649 (All exclaim) 1788 01:36:42,640 --> 01:36:46,167 Where is the money for the child of the support? 1789 01:36:46,160 --> 01:36:48,128 Big fuckin' hero on TV, 1790 01:36:48,120 --> 01:36:50,327 and you're too cheap to pay for your own kid! 1791 01:36:50,320 --> 01:36:53,324 - Arghh! (Yelling, commotion) 1792 01:36:57,240 --> 01:37:01,564 (Sirens wail) 1793 01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:09,003 What are we fighting each other for? 1794 01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:12,049 - Let's fight the fuckin' pigs! (All cheer) 1795 01:37:12,040 --> 01:37:16,443 Alright, fellas, don't hold back on these fuckin' scumbags! 1796 01:37:16,440 --> 01:37:19,569 (Yelling, commotion) 1797 01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:39,604 Well, that's it. 1798 01:37:39,600 --> 01:37:41,762 That's the whole bloody story in a nutshell. 1799 01:37:41,760 --> 01:37:44,650 I'm goin' in there for a few beers, couple of bets 1800 01:37:44,640 --> 01:37:47,450 and if I'm lucky, might even pick up a root. 1801 01:37:47,440 --> 01:37:49,090 I'll pick up a root for sure. 1802 01:37:49,080 --> 01:37:51,526 I can drink a few of the girls in the bar pretty. 1803 01:37:51,520 --> 01:37:53,807 Text me next time you're here in Sunnyvale. 1804 01:37:55,160 --> 01:37:57,401 ♪ It's all good 1805 01:37:57,400 --> 01:37:59,767 ♪ It's very good 1806 01:37:59,760 --> 01:38:01,683 ♪ It's all good 1807 01:38:01,680 --> 01:38:04,684 ♪ It's all good ♪ MAN: It's very good, yes. 1808 01:38:04,680 --> 01:38:07,081 ♪ It's all good 1809 01:38:07,080 --> 01:38:09,128 ♪ It's very good 1810 01:38:09,120 --> 01:38:10,610 ♪ It's all good 1811 01:38:11,600 --> 01:38:13,090 ♪ It's all good 1812 01:38:14,080 --> 01:38:16,367 ♪ It's all good... ♪ 1813 01:38:27,560 --> 01:38:29,608 I told ya we'd beat 'em, Shaz. 1814 01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:31,204 Yeah, it was pretty grouse 1815 01:38:31,200 --> 01:38:34,010 of that Senator cockface to let us come up here, eh? 1816 01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:37,686 Oh, it's a long bloody climb and the view's not even that good. 1817 01:38:37,680 --> 01:38:40,126 I'd rather be at home on the couch with a bong. 1818 01:38:40,120 --> 01:38:42,009 (Guffaws) You carrying? 1819 01:38:46,600 --> 01:38:48,489 - Is she alright? - Yeah. 1820 01:38:48,480 --> 01:38:51,404 Alright, Mum. It's time to set you free. 1821 01:38:58,280 --> 01:39:03,571 Mum, goodbye... and I love you. 1822 01:39:06,880 --> 01:39:10,362 (Sniffs) 0h! 1823 01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:15,400 I know she's your mum, Shaz, but, fuck, she's givin' me mad head spins! 1824 01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:18,244 You really are fucked in the face, aren't ya? 1825 01:39:27,400 --> 01:39:28,890 So, your reaction 1826 01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:30,848 to her actually getting arrested, then? 1827 01:39:30,840 --> 01:39:33,320 It's racist. 1828 01:39:33,320 --> 01:39:36,449 But you say it's racist, but then at the same time, 1829 01:39:36,440 --> 01:39:38,488 she seems to have had no respect 1830 01:39:38,480 --> 01:39:40,403 for the culture of the Aborigines. 1831 01:39:40,400 --> 01:39:41,890 I don't know, man. 1832 01:39:41,880 --> 01:39:44,087 You're hurting my head. You're hurting my head. 1833 01:39:44,080 --> 01:39:46,481 Who is this bloke? Who is he? Who does he think he is? 1834 01:39:46,480 --> 01:39:47,970 We are angry 1835 01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:50,930 because in the beginning we was expect the money 1836 01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:53,161 for the child support, and I was... 1837 01:39:53,160 --> 01:39:55,208 I was ask for Frankily, like, 1838 01:39:55,200 --> 01:39:58,170 10,000 times for the money, 1839 01:39:58,160 --> 01:40:00,128 'cause of, you know, for the baby. 1840 01:40:00,120 --> 01:40:02,088 'Cause he put the sperm on the stomach 1841 01:40:02,080 --> 01:40:04,845 so he's supposed to give the money in the bank, huh? 1842 01:40:04,840 --> 01:40:07,571 I'm part of, like, the Sunnyvale Assassins, alright? 1843 01:40:07,560 --> 01:40:09,050 The Sunnyvale Assassins? 1844 01:40:09,040 --> 01:40:11,520 Yeah, like, it says it right here. Like Sunnyvale... 1845 01:40:11,520 --> 01:40:14,569 You've spelled it 'arse'. I'm not sure that you spelled that... 1846 01:40:14,560 --> 01:40:16,608 - What do you mean? - 'Arsass'... 1847 01:40:16,600 --> 01:40:18,170 'Assassins'... 1848 01:40:18,160 --> 01:40:19,730 Yeah, but it's spelt incorrectly. 1849 01:40:19,720 --> 01:40:21,210 - Is it? - Yeah. 1850 01:40:21,200 --> 01:40:22,611 Is it? 1851 01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:24,682 I told you, like, get a spellcheck, idiot. 1852 01:40:24,680 --> 01:40:27,570 Fuck I'm dumb, bro. What, I'm not educated. 1853 01:40:27,560 --> 01:40:29,767 I'm due for, like, my three o'clock root. 1854 01:40:29,760 --> 01:40:31,808 Well, I don't know but... 1855 01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:34,724 You know, these tits don't touch themselves, you know? 1856 01:40:34,720 --> 01:40:37,485 - Um... no, they don't. - They don't. 1857 01:40:37,480 --> 01:40:39,164 No. I mean... 1858 01:41:53,800 --> 01:41:55,290 (Gunshots) 1859 01:41:55,280 --> 01:41:57,726 ♪ 'Cause we're housos, housos, housos 1860 01:41:57,720 --> 01:41:59,848 ♪ Housos, housos, housos 1861 01:41:59,840 --> 01:42:02,047 ♪ Housos, housos, housos. ♪ 1862 01:42:02,040 --> 01:42:05,123 SHAZZA: Neighbours? Getting to be good friends? 1863 01:42:05,120 --> 01:42:07,282 Yeah, fuckin' come down to Sunnyvale, mate. 1864 01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:08,770 (Gunshot, sirens wail) 144157