Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[WHISPERING] Come on.

Hurry up.

Shh.

These are the headdresses

of the queens that have gone before us.

They come from Indian holy ground,

the jungles of the ancients,

prairies of the Norwegians,

and the forests of the mighty Amazons.

The royal crowns of our people...

This is the blood of our people--

the wolf people,

the alligator people,

and the moon women,

from which we gain our strengths to rule all worlds.

It's okay. It's just chocolate.

Teensy Melissa Whitman,

I declare you Princess Naked As A Jaybird.

Ha-cha-cha!

Caro Eliza Bennett,

I crown you Duchess Soaring Hawk.

Necie Rose Kelleher,

I crown you Countess Singing Cloud,

and I, Viviane Joan Abbott,

am hereby and forever Queen Dancing Creek.

Now, wait just one second, y'all.

I don't think we should be cutting ourselves.

Silence!

We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds.

We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans.

We are the rocks and the stones.

And now, by the power invested in me,

I declare

we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses.

Let no man put us under.

Now our blood flows through each other

as it has done for all eternity.

Loyal forever.

We raise our voices in the words of mumbo gumbo.

Ya-Ya!

Ya-Ya!

Whoo!

[DRUMBEATS]

Ya-Ya!

Whoo!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

WOMAN: My mother.

What can I say about my mother?

There's nobody in this world like Vivi Abbott Walker,

and she'll be the first one

to tell you that.

Mom was loaded with charm, looks, the whole package.

But damaged.

Wounded.

The most charming wounded person you've ever met.

Wounded? How?

By the times as much as anything.

She had star quality,

and she wanted a life bigger than she was gonna find

being a cotton farmer's wife with four kids.

I don't know.

She's just too complex.

She can be alarmingly simple,

and then suddenly dark and complicated.

Sidda, is that it?

[SHRIEKS]

Sorry.

Well, we don't want to burn the place down,

but otherwise, is that it?

That's exactly it.

But she danced her way through it.

Everybody smoked too much,

drank too much, fought too much.

The women manipulated

and the men hid out, huddled in their duck camps,

clutching their bottles of Maker's Mark,

waiting for the storm to pass.

And yet, it seems like they were mostly having fun.

When you say "dark,"

you mean angry? Violent?

No, no,

even though she knew how to handle a switch...

or a belt.

Oh, no!

They came from "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy.

Oh yeah.

What?

In a lot of ways, I owe all my creativity to her.

If I'd had an easy childhood,

I'd have absolutely nothing to write about.

[SCREAMS IN RAGE]

"The daughter of a tap-dancing,

"child-abuser of a mother,

and a distant, emotionally absent fath--"

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit, Connor! Shit. This is a disaster.

It's a little harsh.

Oh, God, I didn't mean it that way!

Calm down.

You don't understand. Give me a Xanax.

No, no, no, no.

Please.

Opening nights only, babe,

and that's your rule, hmm?

Well, all I can say is,

I hope this is not a real emergency,

because I only brought one bottle of vodka.

Vivi? We're here!

Vivi?

I got it.

That ungrateful bitch.

Who would have thought she'd be the one

to try and do me in?

Here, bébé, take a swallow.

It needs Tabasco.

Oh, my God. How?

How could she do it?

She was supposed to be the good one!

Do you know how long I was in labor with her?

Oh, two hours, not even.

Well, it felt longer!

Remind me never to speak to Time Magazine.

That writer probably trumped all that up.

You know how those Yankees like to make us all out

to be swamp water, alligator-wrestling bigots.

Yes. You ought to give Sidda the benefit of the doubt.

Just call her.

Teensy, ever since you quit drinking,

you've stopped thinking clearly.

How can I possibly call somebody who no longer exists?

Get me the phone.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Oh, my God, that's her. Do not pick up the phone.

Connor, Connor, don't pick up the phone.

Connor, don't! Don't do it.

Hello?

Don't do that!

Hello, Connor.

Oh, hello, Vivi. How are you?

Well, just lovely. Thank you for asking.

Is she there?

[WHISPERING] Why did you do that?

She's fine. Talk to her.

Mama?

[SCREAMS]

Give it to me! Give it to me!

Sidda, she'll have to call you back.

Tell her she's dead!

She's dead to me!

[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

Well, what did she say?

I am sick and tired of her tantrums

and drunken rages and--

I heard the ice in the glass clinking,

Mama!

Sounds of my happy childhood!

Why did you let her get to you?

What's wrong with a nice simple,

"Hi, Mom. How are you?

"Uh-huh...uh-huh... Love you too.

Got to fly. See you later"?

What's wrong with that?

In the real world of normal people,

you would be right!

But Vivi Abbott Walker--

Who is a grown woman--

Has never gotten over anything

in her privileged, booze-soaked, self-centered, godforsaken life!

Shep!

Shep, come here!

Oh, my God, she's gonna do it.

What?

Look, she's going to marry that boy.

I mean, that man.

One, does that mean you two are speaking?

And two, how much is it gonna cost me?

Well...when is it?

And where is it?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Don't answer it. It's her. Don't!

Hello, Vivi.

Well, hello, Connor.

Did you call to talk to Sidda or to hang up?

I just called to tell her that I received the invitation,

and all I'll be sending

is my condolences to you.

Vivi, I'll say to you what I'd say to my own mother.

Grow up.

[WHISPERING] Thank you.

What are you excited about?

Same thing goes for you.

Both of you are acting like children.

Did she just hang up on me?

She hung up on me.

Mm-hmm.

How has your old man hung in there

for, what, 40-odd years?

Yeah, well, for one thing,

she moved out of the bedroom

sometime in the early '60s,

so he's had a lot of time to himself.

What, he snores?

Uh-uh. He breathes.

All I'm saying is that there are some things

that are just none of our business

and we should stay out of it.

But I didn't mean this.

We have an extreme situation here.

And that requires extreme measures.

We can't be afraid to do what we know we have to do.

Ya-Ya. Ya-Ya.

Ya-Ya, Ya-Ya, Ya-Ya.

Ya-Ya!

Surprise, surprise.

Mama's henchmen.

Hey, Connor.

Come here and meet the Ya-Yas.

You don't seem very surprised to see us.

Of course not.

Whenever Mama can't handle something,

it's only a matter of time before y'all come swooping in.

Hi. I'm Connor McGill.

I, for one, am very pleased to meet you.

I'm Caro.

This is Teensy.

Hello.

And I am Necie,

and you are...a very nice-looking young man.

Of course,

I'm just talking about looks here,

but you look just fine.

Thank you. Please...

Now, before y'all start, I have just one thing to say.

It's not gonna work.

Listen, petite bébé,

no one on earth, and I mean no one,

understands better than us

how crazy your mama is.

We're not here to dispute that.

She's mad as a hatter.

That's never going to change.

Preaching to the choir.

She's been like that all week.

Sidda, the very fact

that your mama is the way she is...

if you really knew...

it's nothing less than a triumph of the will.

I'm sorry, did you say "will" or "pill"?

Don't you take that tone with her.

You want to get all scrappy, you deal with me.

That is just it!

I don't want to get all scrappy.

I am sick of fighting,

and I am sick to death

of this center-of-the-universe, holier-than-thou,

nothing-is-ever-enough,

"Oh, how I've suffered,

"nobody understands me,

somebody fix me a drink and hand me a Nembutal,"

worn-out Scarlett O'Hara thing!

Oh, she's got her pegged all right.

I am finished. Done.

That is "gone" with a "D."

Wait a minute. Did Mama send you?

Are you out of your mind?

She'd skin us alive if she knew we were here.

We told her

we were going to a spa where there's no alcohol.

Teensy joined the triple-A.

Hmm.

Well, the point is, Sidda...

I'm starving.

We know when we're licked, okay?

How about you let us just take you to dinner?

We'll get on the first plane in the morning,

no questions asked.

[COUGHS]

[LOUD CLUB MUSIC PLAYING]

Broadway!

I just can't get over it.

Your mama is so proud.

For God's sake, Teens,

we said we wouldn't talk about Vivi.

We took a solemn oath, and there you go.

It was an accident.

Why doesn't somebody go to the bathroom?

It always makes the food come.

Ah.

I'll go.

I need to call Connor anyway.

What is it?

I got it from a caddy at the club.

It's a "Rupey" or "Roofie" or something.

He said it would knock her on her ass.

No! Rupeys! That's the date rape drug.

We can't do that!

She's practically a teetotaler with these skinny little drinks!

Then what? We can't conk her on the head!

Well, give her half.

She's a Walker. She can take it!

Here she comes!

I had to taste it.

It's delish.

Didn't work.

The food. It didn't come.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, it didn't, did it?

Guess not.

Well...here's to Mama.

Long may she rave.

Ya-Ya! Ya-Ya!

[ ♪♪♪ ]

No!

No!

What is wrong with you women?

Sleeping Beauty's up.

Sleeping tiger.

I'll make her some coffee.

I'll get the whip.

I have a play in rehearsal.

I have a fiance.

I have a headache.

We flew you first class.

Doesn't that count for anything?

What?

No!

I do not understand

having those underwear up your ass crack.

They don't cover a thing.

I know. I don't get it either.

Listen up this minute.

I am not a child.

I am a grown woman with a life a thousand miles away,

and I'm going back to it right now.

I'm making you coffee. Good old Louisiana chicory.

What the hell do y'all think you're doing?

A Ya-Ya mission of mercy, pal.

An intervention.

Why me?

I've been in therapy for 15 years,

with a professional!

She's the one that needs help.

Yes, you're right,

but bébé, she's getting up there like the rest of us.

She is what she is,

but you, you have a long life ahead of you.

You shouldn't have to spend any more of it

tangled up in anger and resentment.

I'm not angry,

and the only resentment I feel

is y'all thinking to disrupt my life

because Mama has a hissy fit

when essentially all I did was tell the truth!

Oh, hold on. I'm spinning.

What's that doing here?

More will be revealed.

Don't you dare tell her we have it.

They're not talking, Necie.

That's why we're all out here.

Siddo, kiddo,

she doesn't know you're here.

She doesn't know we have the book,

and that's the way it ought to stay,

but there are some things in there

that might... make a small difference

in how you feel about Ms. Viviane Joan Abbott Walker.

I don't care

if she was abducted by leprechauns

and whacked over the head with their shillelagh sticks.

I just want to get out of here!

You want out?

That book minus the chip on your shoulder

is your ticket back to New York.

Thief.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ I found true love in one wild place... ♪

Cheers, darling.

Cheers.

All right.

Who wants to drown?

You, Sidda.

You show 'em how it's done!

Trouble?

Oh!

[CHEERING]

Flail, darling. Make it look good.

Say a prayer.

Dear Jesus,

we ask that you help Miss Sidda.

She's gonna die!

Petite, darling, you were almost a goner,

but I think you're going to make it!

[CHEERING]

That was stellar.

You had me believing there for a minute.

I knew I hadn't lost my touch.

You look good, Willetta.

You look like your old self again.

Old? Don't you be talking about old.

You're the one

with the birthday around the corner here.

Don't you be talking about birthdays.

You gonna tell me what's wrong?

Or do I have to use what brain cells I got left

trying to figure it out?

There's nothing wrong.

Really.

Except...

well, Sidda.

I wasn't a horrible mother,

was I?

Is this about that Time Magazine thing?

How'd you know about that?

Oh, Mr. Shep tell Chaney everything,

and Chaney tell me everything,

and I don't tell nobody nothing,

but I'm gonna tell you something right now.

Sooner or later,

everybody's bill comes due.

You've just got to let the child feel

the way she feel.

There ain't nothing else to do.

Shit.

Clubs are trump.

It's all trumps.

Oh, my God.

Look at how young y'all are.

Oh, my God.

I would give anything

to know then what I know now.

And to still have those thighs.

I'm sure they're still buried in there somewhere.

What in the hell?

Oh.

That was when we went to Atlanta

for the premiere of Gone With the Wind.

You're joking.

No. My Uncle James invited us.

Aunt Louise

was a big society hoity-toity in Atlanta.

Oh, Necie.

Oh, my. Atlanta.

Necie, where were you?

My parents didn't think Willetta was a suitable chaperone,

so I missed the big scene,

but your mama, the budding journalist,

wrote to me every single day.

All two of them.

"Dearest Countess Singing Cloud..."

We arrived in Atlanta

after an eternity on the Southern Crescent.

They made Willetta ride in the colored car,

so we were on our own almost the whole way."

Girls, get yourselves on upstairs now,

and for heaven's sake,

get that Louisiana maid in a uniform right away.

I never...

And get that ugly luggage into the house

before somebody thinks we've got a bunch of hobos

coming to stay.

[SNARLS]

Know what Mama says?

What?

Uncle James and Aunt Lou are nouveau riche.

What's that?

I don't know, but it's not good.

But, sugaroo,

from the looks of this place,

nouveau riche is better than no riche at all.

You never saw so many beautiful things

in all your life.

It's like a museum, or even a palace.

Just think.

All this...

and I'm going to meet Miss Margaret Mitchell

and Clark Gable too.

[SHRIEKS OF DELIGHT]

I feel like a Paris princess.

What y'all doing?

How are y'all supposed to get clean,

all soaking together like that?

Get on out of there.

Look at you, Willetta,

all done up in that fancy uniform.

I'm going to take a picture.

You can show everybody at home.

No, you ain't.

Now, get your clothes on for a fancy dinner.

They've got it all done up like they's the king of England.

Isn't this the most magnificent thing

that could ever happen?

I suppose that's what I'd be thinking if I was you.

Come on.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

Lord, I done died and gone to hell.

When we went upstairs, our beds were turned down,

just like in a fancy hotel,

but even though

it was the most exciting night of my life,

I had a feeling

things weren't going so well for Willetta.

[SOBBING]

Willetta?

What you doing down here?

Get yourself back up in that bed.

Willetta, why are you crying?

I'm crying because I misses my family.

You miss Maman Delia?

Child, your gran ain't my family.

I got my own gran,

and my own mama and daddy too.

You want to play cards? Like at home?

No, child, I don't want to play no cards.

Then how about some hot chocolate?

Will you make me some, Willetta?

Child, if you want hot chocolate,

go fix it yourself.

James, why in the world

are you wearing that hat in the house?

Will Miss Mitchell be at the premiere?

Who knows what that woman would or would not do?

After she was denied membership to the Junior League,

she's been utterly unpredictable.

Of course, she left us no choice,

and she's still steaming.

She brought it on herself with that awful Apache dance.

WILLETTA: Here you go, baby girl.

Here's your hot chocolate, just like you likes it.

Who told you

you could walk your black Louisiana ass

into our dining room?

You got ears, nigger?

[GASPS]

Get on out of here.

Did I hear you right?

What, are y'all deaf?

I heard him loud and clear.

Me too.

Shut your mouth,

you prissy-ass little mama's boy!

You apologize this instant--

Aunt Lou!

You'd better let go of her,

or I'll let that ugly halfwit you call Junior

have it again!

Don't you dare!

Oops. Slipped.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Whitman.

I'm sorry your son's a baboon's ass.

Ya-Ya!

Ugh, what a wretched woman!

She's dead now, I'm happy to say.

Ding-dong!

I don't think I ever saw my mama so proud

as when we stepped off that train.

Yeah, Buggy, on the other hand,

made Vivi do penance for a month.

She thought for sure

she'd lost her place in heaven.

God, that Buggy was so--

Don't even...

Worrying about the afterlife

is no way to live through this one.

Oh, honey,

your Grandma Buggy

was about the unhappiest person I think I have ever seen,

and there was something in Vivi's very nature

that just--

Scared the shit out of her.

She was overwhelmed by Vivi's life force.

Nothing's changed, darlin'.

Ever since your mama came into this world,

she took up all the space in the room.

Wow.

That's my brother, Jack.

I didn't know you had a brother, Teensy.

That's why you're here, bébé,

to know what you didn't know.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

May I tell you a secret?

In my prayers, I thank God

for granting my son his true love

at an early age.

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

Sunflower, will you come and take a walk with me?

Of course.

You're lying.

You don't want to be a pilot.

You just want to impress your father.

Come on, Vivi.

I ain't doing this just for him.

There's a war on.

It'd be wrong not to go.

It'd be wrong to leave me here.

You said--

I'm sorry, bébé.

It's already done.

Besides, I've got to do something right

for the old man.

Will you come back?

Are you kidding? Of course I will.

Swear on the Virgin.

I swear.

Swear on your mother's life.

I swear.

Now, I want you to make me a promise.

Promise me that when I come home

from fighting this war,

you'll be the one I come home to,

you understand?

What if I'm away

being a big city newspaper woman?

Vivi, you can do anything you set your mind to.

You know that, don't you?

I'm going to miss you.

He made me swear not to till he told you himself.

Well, you should have warned me.

What did Geneviève say?

Oh, she cried,

begged him to change his mind,

and then Daddy called her unpatriotic.

He gave a speech and made a toast.

Mama swore she'd never drink to a son going to war,

so now Daddy's in the doghouse.

Amen.

There's not a goddamn breeze

in the entire state of Louisiana.

Will someone please wring me out?

We cannot just sit here and puddle.

We're going to have to make our own goddamn breeze.

[♪♪♪]

♪ You don't have to have a hanker ♪

♪ To be a broker or a banker ♪

♪ No siree, just got to be my mother's son-in-law... ♪

No!

Don't you do that.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, my God.

Do not pull over, Teensy. I mean it!

[SIREN WAILS]

If you can't talk your way out of this one,

then I don't know what!

We are going straight to hell.

Ha-cha-cha!

Yeah, we went to jail.

I was so proud.

Your mama was a bad influence.

If it weren't for you,

our moral fiber would've been shredded

to tattered rags.

Teensy, smack her for me.

Hey, kids,

am I going to have to give you a time-out?

[KNOCK]

Vivi?

Yes?

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

You need anything?

No.

All right, then.

"I owe all my creativity to her.

"If I'd had an easy childhood,

I'd have nothing to write about."

Well, that is the truth, honey.

[SIDDALEE]: Why isn't Grandma Buggy's name

on this invitation?

Well, that birthday business was ugly.

Your granddaddy had just settled a big case,

and he wanted to strut his money.

Buggy didn't want to have that dance.

She didn't believe in parties.

And sure as hell didn't believe in celebrating your mama.

He did it just to spite her.

Taylor Abbott treated his horses better than he treated his wife.

And your mama got caught in the crossfire.

Boy, did she ever.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Whoo!

[GASP]

Daddy, is it real?

Of course it's real.

It is?

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.

Mama, it's gorgeous.

Did you pick it out?

Mr. Abbott,

that is not a proper gift for a girl.

That's right,

but it's a perfect gift for a young woman,

a beautiful young woman.

Aren't you just the luckiest little girl

God ever made?

Why don't you come with me, bébé?

Hey, good-looking.

This ring is nothing

compared to the one I'm going to get you.

Jack, everybody saw.

The only thing anybody saw is how beautiful you are.

And we're not going to be like them.

All right?

I swear, honey.

Don't you worry.

Don't you worry.

♪ ...You're the only one for me ♪

♪ I have told them in advance ♪

♪ They can't break up our romance ♪

♪ Oh, livin' up to every vow ♪

♪ I'm keeping out of mischief now ♪

[GIGGLING]

[WHISPERING]

[WHISPERING AND QUIET CHATTER]

He's cute...

No.

Whatever you did

to make your father give you this ring

is a mortal sin.

May God forgive you.

I didn't do anything!

He just gave it to me.

I didn't do anything!

No, no, no. She is sick.

Don't let her get to you.

Don't worry, Vivi.

I'll steal it back if I have to.

[SHOUTING]

Now, do it, Buggy! Do it!

You give the girl the goddamn ring,

you pathetic Catholic idiot.

Pick it up.

Daddy!

You bend down,

and you pick up that goddamn ring.

Give me your hand.

Viviane,

I gave this ring to you.

It's yours.

It's from me to you.

You understand?

Now, what do you have to say,

making a fool of yourself

in front of Viviane's friends?

Huh?

You go to sleep, girls.

[CRYING]

You okay?

Yeah, but wow.

How horrible to be so hated by your own mother.

Mama's jealous, competitive, and judgmental,

but she doesn't hate me.

Not like that.

Oh, wait a minute.

Yes, she does.

Forgot.

She's trying to hate you, honey.

You just delivered her a swift kick in the ego.

She's just smarting.

Mm. I have dreams about this.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Could be Chick.

It's her.

Could be Chick, but it's her.

Don't answer it.

Right.

[RINGING CONTINUES]

Hello?

Caught you.

Now, why on earth do y'all think you can get away with this?

You think I don't know what you're up to?

What do you mean, "up to"? What's that mean?

You don't fool me for a second.

Oh, well--

We're not up to a goddamn thing,

and if we were,

it would be none of your business,

so don't go poking around

or you'll spoil everything.

I just don't want a big fuss. That's all I ask.

And I don't want candles on my cake.

It'll look like the burning of Atlanta.

Pal, when we want your advice,

we'll ask for it.

Got it?

Big kiss.

[KISSES]

She thinks this is about her birthday.

Can you believe it?

It's coming up soon too. Real soon.

Couple of days.

No numbers, everybody.

That's one thing that Mom always did real well,

the birthday thing.

She'd come into our room in the morning.

and we'd have a party, just with us.

When Daddy got home, we'd do it again.

He could never know about that morning cake,

so she always got two.

It was our secret.

I'm so glad I had you.

I'm going to call Connor.

You go right ahead.

We'll leave you alone.

But we'll be listening from the kitchen,

so talk loud.

[RINGS]

Hi.

How did you know it was me?

Ah, who else?

How are you feeling?

Oh, a little disoriented.

Oh, well, horse tranquilizers will do that for you.

I can't believe you let them do this.

They didn't ask.

They called on the way to the airport.

They informed me of their plan.

I saw you off.

From where?

The airport.

Helped get you on the plane.

They're organized.

They even had a note from a doctor.

By the way, your pills are in your bag.

I have a bag?

Yeah. In the closet.

Tell Connor we say hello.

Did you hear that?

Yeah.

I tell you, meeting them explains a lot about you.

Such as?

Well, let me put it this way.

You're a hell of a lot more normal

than you have any right to be.

[SPLASH]

Why'd you do that?

They'll explain it all to you at the Betty.

Listen, I'm going to try and bust out of here tomorrow.

I've got to get back for work.

Don't rush back on my account.

I just said it was for work.

I just meant

maybe you ought to try to stay

and fix this thing with your mother

once and for all.

Why are you so worried about this?

Because I'm afraid

that one day our kids may feel that way about you.

Ow.

These women may be nuts,

but I have a feeling

they might know something that you don't.

I don't think it's fair

you're bringing kids we don't have

into this.

That was just a really low blow.

That's the way I feel.

Stay there. Deal with it.

You deal with it.

Ow.

Don't New York people say goodbye?

SIDDALEE: Not when they're on their high horse

thinking they know so much.

Oh, I hate that.

I especially hate it when they're right.

Whenever Charlie's right, I just ignore him.

It seems like y'all ignored him, right or wrong.

Not really.

Like hell we didn't.

Took me 25 years to notice my husband was gay.

I think they just couldn't keep up with us.

I think we created our own little world

where we still all live happily

to this day.

Ya-Ya. Ya-Ya. Ya-ya.

I wonder if Mama would have ignored Jack

the way that she's ignored Daddy.

No way, pal.

Jack was the love of her life,

the kind you only get once.

Well, then, what happened?

How did Daddy wind up in the hot seat?

[LAUGHING]

Viv.

Vivo.

Come on, we have to go to Teensy's house.

No.

Come on.

I knowed something bad was coming.

Just yesterday,

I done heard that screech owl.

[CRYING]

[FRENCH ACCENT] You killed my baby!

You killed my baby!

You drink champagne to his death.

You killed him, sure enough.

You killed my baby!

SIDDALEE: I don't think I can take any more.

Me neither.

I think I need to go home.

Are you all right to drive?

Of course I am.

Habit.

See y'all tomorrow.

Wasn't all just fun and games.

So I see.

Shall I make a long story short?

They never found his body,

not a dog tag, no shoe, nothing.

Geneviève got herself believing for a while...

that it was all a mistake,

he was still alive somewhere.

Then she stopped believing,

and then...

the good French lady took her leave.

I knew I should have stopped while I was behind.

Poor Teens.

Your mama rallied for her,

but the two of them...

neither of them was ever the same.

I wish you could have known

what your mother was like when she was a girl.

You would've loved her.

Necie, me not loving Mama was never the problem.

Her not loving you was never the problem either.

What about Daddy?

Was she ever in love with him?

Or was he just around to do the heavy lifting?

Your daddy knew Jack.

He knew he could never replace him,

but he said he'd rather play second fiddle

than not play in the band at all.

He thought he loved her enough for both of them.

Maybe he did.

Does.

Well...

I got some work to do at the woodpile, honey.

'Night.

Let's call it a night, shall we?

'Night.

Smells good.

Now what's wrong, Vivi?

I'm still not Jack?

Shut up, Shep.

How long are you going to make us suffer

for something we can't change?

Fine.

Going to feed your children?

I don't care if you starve to death.

Hey, kid.

I'll make dinner, Daddy, okay?

Thank you.

I'll get the skillet. Don't touch it.

SHEP: There isn't any room for me!

VIVIANE: What are you talking about?

You go out there

and drink yourself to sleep!

You don't lift one finger to help this family.

SHEP: I don't lift a finger?

Look at my hands!

I don't want to look

at your ugly cotton-farming hands,

and I sure as hell don't want you putting them on me!

Don't worry!

Drunk as you are all the time,

I don't even want to be in the house with you.

You're disgusting!

God, I hate you, Shep!

I hate you!

Is Daddy going to kill her?

She'll kill him first.

[RINGS]

Hi.

Why do you answer the phone like that?

Like what?

Like you know it's me.

But it is you.

I've been awake all night thinking about what you said,

and I think I know what you're getting at.

Your tone makes me think that you don't.

Think about it.

Why would my kids feel that way

if I wasn't unfit?

Our kids.

If I wasn't in some way damaged?

That's what you're saying.

Uh, not even close.

Then there's no logic, you simply said it to hurt me?

You're right.

How can I know? So why risk it?

Know what I mean? Uh, no.

Why risk doing to my children

what Mama did to me,

and why risk doing to you what she did to Daddy?

Why don't you ask him what a bed of roses his life was

while you're at it?

At what?

Figuring out if I'll ruin

the lives of our hypothetical children!

Okay, Sidda?

No shit, you're really scaring me now.

We should calm down.

Do not, do not start

that patronizing "You're crazy right now,

"so I'll just stay still

and not make any sudden moves till you're finished" thing.

Okay? Do not.

See? You're doing it.

Okay, okay. Uncle.

You've got me painted into a corner

where nothing I say could be right.

That's how you want to live your life,

painted into a corner by an unfit mother?

No, no, no. I never said I wanted that.

Fine.

I'll make this easy.

Why don't you just put this whole thing on hold

while you figure out how badly I'll fuck up everybody's life?

Okay?

Do not send out those invitations. Do not!

Siddalee Walker?

You are on the verge of making a very big mistake

right now.

Well, so are you, only I'm not going to let you.

Did she just call off our god--

I don't have the number.

I don't have the goddamn number!

Oh...Okay. Vivi.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Vivi?

Yeah.

This is Connor--

I don't...

[SCREAMS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

What?

Emergency, Vivi! Do not hang up!

Oh, my God. Oh, no!

No, no, no, no. Not that.

I--I just need a phone number from you.

My God!

Don't you ever, ever, ever do that to me again!

Sorry.

It's just that I think she just called off

our goddamn life,

and I don't have the number.

What are you talking about, boy?

She's with those friends of yours,

the Yo-Yos, or Yee-Haws,

or whatever the hell--

The Ya-Yas?

Why in hell would she run off with them?

She didn't run off.

They came here and took her!

Oh, for Pete's sake.

I've got to go.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Yes?

I don't know if you really ruined Sidda's life,

but I do know that now you're ruining mine!

And your phone etiquette sucks, you--

He hung up on me.

Oh, what a surprise!

Look what the backstabbing, traitorous cats dragged in.

Oh, look who it is-- all my old ex-friends!

And the biological fruit of my womb...that rotted.

[HONKING]

Oh, shit.

What?

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Pull over.

I can't hear you.

Pull over!

Pull over, Vivi.

No!

Pull over, Vivi!

Fuck off.

Oh!

Go ahead. Warn them.

Give them time to scatter like rats.

Oh, my God!

You are so lucky.

If you put one scratch on my baby,

I would have your ass.

Teensy, I demand

that you move this piece of shit out of my way

this very instant!

Who do you think you're talking to?

I know she's there.

Now, what is going on? Huh?

Is betrayal absolutely everywhere?

Yes.

Your lifelong friends

are programming your daughter to destroy you.

Well, somebody better tell me what's going on.

Vivi, calm down.

You're just gonna have to trust us.

If you go there now,

you're gonna ruin everybody's life.

What is it with me ruining everybody's life?

Everybody, Teensy?

Strangers are saying it now.

What strangers?

Connor.

He yelled at me.

She's walked out on their entire life,

whatever that means.

Go. Go home. Now.

Don't you talk to me like that.

I'll knock you into the middle of next week.

Then I will kick your sorry ass on Thursday.

Now, get in the goddamn car and go home.

Piece of shit...

Well, that's ridiculous.

I don't think that's what he meant at all.

Listen, kids,

we've got to slow down or I'll pop a lung.

Listen, Siddo,

I know you come by your flair for drama honestly,

but you don't call off a wedding

and a seven-year goddamn relationship

on the basis of one phone call,

especially after the goofballs we had you hopped up on.

Oh, stop. I've got to rest.

I didn't. That wasn't why.

Don't you think it's fishy

that we're not married yet?

He started asking me the first year.

I always resisted.

Don't you think that's fishy?

Why is that fishy?

Because.

Something must be wrong.

I've been hitting the snooze button

on my biological clock

for a long time.

I mean, on paper it all works out.

You saw him. Who wouldn't want to have babies with him?

But every time I get right down to it,

something just stops me,

just...just stops.

And you don't have any idea why?

Well, I have an idea why.

What if I'm like her, and I get into it, and just...

What?

Beat the living daylights out of everybody

and then run away.

That's what you think happened?

What do you mean, "think", Teensy?

I was there. This isn't some goddamn recovered memory.

I wish I could forget it.

Y'all have your little Ya-Ya scars,

but that is nothing compared to what she left on me,

and if there's even one drop of that in me,

I am better off alone.

No child should find that out the hard way,

and neither should Connor.

You know, fine, she didn't want us. Fine.

She should have just stayed gone,

but then y'all dragged her ass back here,

and all she did was drink until we all went away,

but, I mean, y'all should know,

since you were the ones mixing the drinks!

My God,

she doesn't know anything, does she?

VIVIANE: Sidda! Sidda, go get Lulu.

Baylor, get in the car. We are leaving.

I can't stay in this house one more second.

I can't stand it. I can't!

[CRYING]

♪ I see the moon and the moon sees me ♪

♪ And the moon sees the world ♪

♪ That I want to see ♪

♪ So God bless the moon ♪

♪ And God bless me ♪

♪ And God bless the world that I want to see ♪♪

Mary...

Mother of the motherless?

Can you see me?

I'm here!

It's me again.

I need divine intervention once again,

quelle grande surprise.

And here it is.

My oldest daughter, Siddalee,

the one I've been complaining about?

The loudmouth?

She may be walking away from true love.

Please stop her.

Don't let her run away.

This is because of me.

She never said it, but I know.

She's only seen me holding back.

I take full responsibility,

but I'd appreciate you keeping that to yourself.

Please pass this on to your Son and his Father.

I will only smoke once...a day,

and I'll only have a drink once a week--

I mean, a day.

I'll do the best I can.

If you will just help her out with this one thing,

I'll make it up to you somehow.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ This old house is falling down ♪

♪ Around my ears ♪

♪ I'm drowning in a river of my tears ♪

♪ When all my will is gone You hold me sway ♪

[TURNS DOORKNOB BUT DOOR IS LOCKED]

♪ I need you at the dimming of the day ♪

♪ You pull me ♪

♪ Like the moon pulls on the tide ♪

♪ You know just where I keep my better side ♪

[ ♪♪♪ ]

♪ Know I love ya, babe? ♪

♪ Know I love ya, babe? ♪

♪ Know I love ya, baby? ♪

♪ But you don't even know my name ♪

♪ Let me tell ya, baby ♪

♪ Tell ya what I would do ♪

♪ I would rob, steal, kill somebody ♪

♪ Just to get back home to you ♪♪

[HONKING]

Daddy.

Hey, butterbean.

Look at you.

You look pretty good for a hostage.

Yeah, well, my captors are humane.

You look like

you're holding up pretty well yourself.

Well, another fine mess.

Yeah.

Daddy, the best lesson I ever learned from you

was to lay low.

What happened?

Oh, security has been breached.

Backups have been called in.

Full-scale Ya-Ya alert.

Ah,

but the prisoner's been left unattended.

You could bust me out.

I could,

but then, wherever we go,

we'd still be there.

Mm. No escape.

More like Stockholm syndrome.

That is you.

What about me?

You'll end up as the leader.

The inmate takes over the asylum.

Mm...

What?

Never mind. Never mind.

What?

Why am I being hauled into court?

I'm not the one engaging in acts of treachery.

Well, that's a matter for some debate.

The jury's still out, pal.

Your kids aren't writers.

They're not exposing all your darkest secrets

as entertainment for the masses.

I swear to God,

if I'd known she was going to be a writer,

I never would have--

Never would have what?

Goddamn it, Vivi.

Will you stop thinking about how it'll make you look?

Will you think about what you're saying?

She has no idea.

I can't believe y'all are doing this to me.

She knows too much as it is.

Frankly, she doesn't know shit,

and what she does know,

she's made the worst of it.

It's like this, pal.

If you don't tell her, we will. Case closed.

This is not the Ya-Ya way.

Well, it is now.

Ya-Ya. Ya-Ya. Ya-Ya.

Now, let's eat.

We were ill-equipped.

I think it can be summed up in

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

What about the road back? What's that paved with?

Humility.

Really, Daddy?

I mean, does she even have that in her repertoire?

Not that she'd care to admit.

Pride covers a multitude of sins.

But you live with someone long enough,

you can see what they're trying to hide

by the way they try to hide it.

She's hurting too, baby girl.

Daddy?

Did you get loved enough?

What's enough?

My question is,

did you?

It's never too late.

SIDDALEE'S VOICE: Hi.

You've reached Connor and Sidda.

Please leave a message and we will call you back.

Thanks.

Hi.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

I'm very sorry to bother you so late.

Are you Mr. Walker?

Depends.

I'm Connor McGill.

I'm supposed to be marrying Sidda?

But she was abducted the other day

by some friends of yours--

Son, save your breath. It's not my department.

Come on in.

Vivi Walker, Connor McGill.

She'll take over from here.

Good luck.

Night-night.

Why am I just meeting you now, Connor?

Is that her doing or yours?

You know the answer to that.

Did she actually say

she was calling the whole thing off?

Did she use those exact words? No.

She said, "Don't mail out the invitations."

Yeah, but she didn't say burn them or throw them out.

That's hopeful.

Vivi, it's taken years to nail down a date.

She's always said, "What's the rush?"

or "Things are so good. Why screw it up?"

I don't know what the hell she's so afraid of.

It's like she's always waiting for the bottom to drop out.

Well, you know why she thinks that,

don't you, honey?

Because it did.

It always did.

[COUGHING]

What? What is it?

Put your arms up.

Take a sip.

Ugh.

I'm sorry. I thought it was water.

Lulu and Baylor are sick.

Baylor pooped in the bed.

Oh, Baylor, God!

Come on. Get in the bathtub.

Get out of those pants.

I didn't mean to.

[COUGHING]

Sidda, stop that coughing, come help me with your brother!

Come on, Baylor.

We have to be a good boy.

My tummy hurts.

We have to take your temperature.

Oh! God, Lulu!

I'm sorry, Mommy.

Throw up in the toilet!

Where's your goddamn father?

Why do I have to do everything myself?

Stop!

Uh-oh.

Oh, God!

Mama.

[VOMITING]

[CRYING]

Pick me up.

Mama!

Shut up!

[CRYING AND SCREAMING]

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Willetta,

do you have any money?

No, ma'am, I don't.

Make sure Little Shep eats his oatmeal,

or he'll be in the cookies.

I will.

Where are you going in your fancy coat?

Confession.

I'm going to get absolution.

You watch out for them cat-eyed priests.

I'll be back in an hour.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

My last confession was two weeks ago.

Go ahead.

Father,

I accuse myself of bad thoughts toward my family.

Have you borne hatred toward your husband?

Yes, and toward my children.

How many times

have you borne these thoughts of hatred

toward loved ones?

Too many to count.

What are these bad thoughts?

In my thoughts, I want to abandon my children.

I want to injure my husband.

I want to run away.

I want to be unattached.

I want to be famous.

You must banish these bad thoughts.

What if I can't make the thoughts stop?

Well, then,

ask Mary, the mother of our blessed Lord

to teach you to bear your cross silently,

patiently,

and in perfect submission to the will of God.

[DIALS PHONE]

Good morning.

May I have some coffee, please?

Yes. Thank-- Wait.

Is--is today Thursday?

Friday?

[DIALS PHONE]

Hi, darling.

You okay?

I'm fine, honey.

Sidda, honey, don't cry.

How is everybody?

All by yourself?

I'm very proud of you, honey.

That's good.

I'm coming home.

Today.

How about we have shrimp for supper?

I love you too.

Bye-bye.

Does she know about all this?

Well, she knew I was gone.

Wasn't the first time.

I know she blames me.

Of course she does, just like I blame my mother.

I didn't screw up her life

any more than my mother screwed up mine.

Well, she almost did,

but all the real, long-term damage...

I did to myself.

Vivi,

I just want the woman to marry me.

Vivi?

Did you knock?

What is it, honey?

I had a question.

Well...

Well, what's the question, honey?

Did I ruin your life?

I always thought the story was

I'd ruined yours.

I think that may be another

of the many lies I've told myself

along the way.

Vivi, you made it interesting.

I tried to keep up.

Then I tried to stay out of your way,

but I knew the first time I laid eyes on you

there was no one like you in the whole world.

When I said "for better or worse,"

I knew it was a coin toss.

Shep?

Heads or tails?

Your call.

Is that Connor?

I believe it is.

Let's stick to the plan.

Hi. You're just in time.

I made beignets.

Look who's here.

Hello, Connor.

Good morning, ladies.

Connor, what are you doing here?

I've come to reclaim my bride.

Oh, she'll hate it if you call her that.

It'll be our secret.

Secrets are the Ya-Ya forte, from what I understand.

That's kind of what we came to talk about.

Vivi, honey,

I think you know what we're here for.

I believe we've had this discussion.

I think I was perfectly clear.

You were perfectly clear and perfectly wrong.

This is violently unfair.

I have not ceded control of my private life to you

or to anyone else.

Honey.

There is no shame in what happened.

That was a different time, and you were a different person.

They're right.

You can trust Sidda, honey.

Oh, come on, honey.

Come with us.

I can't.

I can't be the one.

I don't even remember most of it.

I don't want to be the one.

Okay, darling.

You'll be glad, honey.

You'll be glad when this is over.

I'm coming with you.

Wait a minute. You can't all go.

I'll stay with you, Vivi.

Once, a long time ago...

I dropped my basket.

Hey, butterbean.

What's the problem?

Nothing. Connor's just not picking up.

What?

Get comfortable, bébé.

I got a full tank.

When I got back, I quit drinking,

and I tried to be the best mother I could.

How'd that go?

Not so hot.

Willetta, get this monster off of me!

I can't stand the sight of him.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I wasn't.

Well, don't!

Hurry up. Get in there!

VIVIANE: I saw a priest, who sent me to a doctor,

who was supposed to cure me of the demon alcohol.

CONNOR: Did it work?

[ LOUD TV, KIDS CHATTERING ]

Dad?

Shut up!

Quit making all that goddamn noise.

Monday... Wednesday, beggar man, thief.

How many doctors will it--

I'm sure there are things you remember

that you'd rather forget.

We know you bore the brunt of it.

Bear the brunt.

I done a bad thing.

Heathcliff, I got a surprise for you.

A surprise, Louie?

Yeah. Close your eyes.

Come on.

Ooh! Ow! Oh!

I didn't do anything.

Outside, everybody.

Get out of those filthy rags!

We can't, Mama. It's raining.

Come on! I'll clean you up before he has to go.

I didn't do anything!

I have to save my babies!

Oh, my God, Mama!

Oh, God, help me!

[SHOUTING AND SCREAMING]

No!

No!

Let me find Daddy!

Stop it!

♪ I see the moon and the moon sees me ♪

Mama, no!

Lulu, get away from her!

I'm sorry, Mommy.

Come on, Lulu! Run!

No, Mama!

Please, stop it, Mama!

Hail Mary, full of...

No, no, Miss Vivi!

They need cleaning!

They are clean, clean as angels.

Get them in the truck, Willetta.

Chaney, come on!

We gotta try to find Mr. Shep!

She done lost her mind!

Oh, my God, you're bleeding.

Get in the truck.

Vivi, can you hear me? Come on.

Do you know what she took?

How many?

No idea,

but she eats them like they're goddamn M&Ms.

Doctor Lowell.

That man ought to be run out of town on a rail.

I'm gonna give her a mild tranquilizer.

Shep, Vivi is sick.

She has cracked up.

We have to get her some real help.

I can tell you what the problem is.

The woman doesn't eat.

Um, Shep? She ain't gonna eat now.

She doesn't know where she is.

It's not gonna hurt to have something in her stomach, is it?

Hey, baby.

Okay, it's a BLT.

You got to take a bite, honey.

Good, good.

Chew, baby. Yeah.

Beau,

why don't you go on over and see about the kids?

Oh, baby.

Vivi?

Baby.

Come on.

Come here. Come here.

Come here.

[DOOR OPENS]

Yeah? So?

She didn't leave you, Siddo.

Well, she was sure as hell gone.

She sure as hell was.

SIDDALEE: Dear Mama,

I hope you're having a nice time, wherever you are.

We are being very good,

and I can even make Baylor be quiet now,

so he won't get on your nerves.

I promise.

So you can come home any time.

I'm sorry if we made you mad.

I pray for you every night, and every morning too.

I miss you so very much, and Daddy does too.

Maybe I could come see you,

and we could go swimming, just like old times.

Lulu, don't bite.

I love you, Mama,

and I will write again tomorrow.

Sit down, Daddy.

Yours truly, Siddalee.

It was six months' involuntary commitment,

Sidda,

and when she got back,

we tried to get her to talk about her breakdown.

She refused,

and refuses to this day.

Only once,

she made me tell her how I found you and the kids--

every single mark on your bodies.

She was twisted with guilt.

Honey, I think the reason she stayed distant

is she never trusted herself again.

She didn't think she deserved you.

Everything else is an act, bébé.

And those pills.

Dexamyl.

Half Dexedrine, half Miltown.

It was supposed to cure drinking.

Nobody knew shit back then.

The thing I regret most

is that we didn't talk to you, or Baylor, or Lulu, or Shep.

I guess it was based on some arcane belief

that you don't interfere with other people's kids.

I wanted to tell you, honey, a million times.

She made me swear.

She made me swear I would never tell a soul.

Speak, bébé.

Oh, I'm just adding up in my head

the thousands and thousands of dollars

I spent on therapy

trying to figure out what the hell I had done wrong.

Shep?

Write her a check.

We'll be cooking if you need us.

We have your mother's birthday party

to throw.

Bye, now, bébé.

Bye, honey.

Bye-bye, y'all.

Bye.

You okay?

Yeah.

It wasn't always bad, honey.

Do what I do.

Think about the good times.

Let that be what sticks with you.

What are you, some kind of saint?

That's me.

Saint Shep of the fields.

Patron saint of sunflowers.

Bye.

[AIRPLANE APPROACHES]

Sit down!

Sit down!

All right, Sidda, honey, we're going to need tickets.

Go be a doll and stand in line.

Get enough for 12 children and two adults.

I need a strong man!

Necie, you're not going up, right?

No, I'm not.

Teensy, you're high enough as it is, sister.

We've got room for one more.

This little one is staying, and this one is going.

This is safe, right?

Safe as a baby carriage.

Don't get saucy. These are my precious angels.

Don't worry.

It's your turn.

Come on, bébé, let's go.

I can't.

Are you scared?

Why don't you hop in?

You go if I go?

All right, then. Keep your eye on Baylor.

Don't try my patience.

Either tell me what's wrong or forget it.

I want to ride in the airplane.

Well, why didn't you when you had your turn?

I don't know.

Sidda,

I understand what it is to be afraid,

but nobody ever got anywhere

by being frightened all the time.

When I think of all the stuff I never...

You want to ride in that airplane?

And you just won't be able to live with yourself

if you can't?

That's exactly it.

Well, all right, then.

[HONKS HORN]

Who's honking that horn?

Sidda and I

are going to see a man about an airplane.

Hi there.

Yoo-hoo!

I know you must be utterly exhausted

after such a long day,

but could you possibly consider giving just one more ride,

for my daughter?

No. Sorry.

Please?

She panicked when it was her turn,

and now she's just dying to go up.

I'll pay you.

Ma'am, I've got to go to Baton Rouge,

and then fly to Macon, Georgia, in the morning.

and I've been here since 7 a.m.

But I can pay you a whole $1.18.

Lady, $1.18 won't cover the gas to get us off the ground.

We'll be back. With money.

You just stay right there, okay?

Please don't go yet.

Christ.

I need some cash, Lyle.

Charge $15 to Shep's account, okay?

Actually, make it 20.

Nope. Sorry, I can't do that.

Why in the world not?

You've done it 84,000 times before.

Shep come in here

and told me I can give you all the gas and service you want,

but no more cash

on account of all the times before.

It's not what you think.

Now, come on. Be a sweetheart, and it'll stay between us.

He said just gas. No cash.

He pays the bills.

It's okay, Mama. Never mind.

Let's just give up and go on home.

Siddalee Walker.

Don't you ever let me hear you utter those words again!

Do you understand?

Come on, get out of the car.

Darling, I have a little proposition for you.

How much gas are you buying this afternoon?

I'm filling up.

Why don't you let me put it

on my husband's charge account,

you pay me cash?

What do you say?

Okay. I see what you're saying.

I'm married to a tight-fisted son of a bitch myself.

Have a wonderful day.

Lyle!

You've been outsmarted once again!

Now, come hoist your homely ass out of that chair

and pump this lovely gentlewoman a tankful.

Come on, darling.

[ ♪♪♪ ]

Which way is your house?

Thataway.

There it is, darling. See it?

Hi!

Isn't it just like a fairyland?

Don't we live in the most magical place?

We're like two angels up in the sky,

smiling down on all our friends.

Hi.

You say that like you know it's me.

It is you.

Maybe it's good that there's a lot of people here.

Stick with me, kiddo.

She's putty in my hands.

Watch where you're driving.

Chaney.

Siddalee Walker, free at last.

Thank God almighty.

Connor.

Willetta.

You know Connor.

Hi, Connor.

Come on, son, come with me. We'll meet the Walker men.

Mama, that reporter--

Nope.

Truth hurts, kiddo.

That's all.

I'm sure I had it coming.

Mama, I--

Baby, there are some things

for which I don't expect to be forgiven,

not by my children,

not even by God.

There are some things

for which it would be ludicrous to say I'm sorry.

It'd be so....

So pale.

I guess I owe you an apology--

No, no, no, you don't.

Don't say it.

I've been thinking about what I would say to you

should we ever speak again.

I went through all the mean things I could think of

to make you feel guilty.

You know how I am.

Mm-hmm.

I take a problem and chew on it

until all the flavor's gone,

and then I stick it in my hair.

And then it dawned on me.

All those years...

that I prayed,

that I begged on my hands and knees

for God to make me more,

give me more,

make me better,

make me stronger,

make me saner,

make all my dreams come true.

I finally got an answer.

What?

You.

Right there in one person,

all I've ever wanted to be or do,

and there you are.

You came right through me,

and I never even realized.

I hate it when it's right in front of your face

and you miss it, don't you?

You goddamn marry that boy.

Oh, I will.

I know I've got

the "worst mother in the world" prize

sewed up and in the bag,

but I'd still like to be there.

Well, maybe we could have it here?

Oh!

That would just be...

convenient. I could walk to it.

You could.

Here.

I've been waiting to give you that.

I almost lost it once, but I got it back.

Mm...

It's so beautiful, Mama. Thank you.

Now, there's just one more thing that I want to ask you,

and then I want you to go dance till your socks melt.

Okay.

But I want you to be totally honest.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Okay.

Do I look like I've gained weight?

No.

Actually, I think you may be too thin.

God love you, darling.

Okay, now you can go have some fun.

Okay.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Make a wish.

This way.

Put your game face on.

You are now in the inner sanctum of the temple of the Ya-Ya.

Enter.

Bring forth the petite.

As you have seen the secret Ya-Ya documents

and heard secret Ya-Ya secrets,

it is now time for you to give yourself to nature

and heed the Ya-Ya call.

[GIGGLES]

Silence.

Sorry.

You are about to be initiated

as a full-fledged intimate of the secret order.

We wear headdresses

of the queens who have gone before us,

who ask us to carry on their magic.

They come from Indian holy grounds,

the jungles of the ancients,

the prairies of the Norwegians,

and the shores of Gitche Gumee.

Gitche Gumee.

Gitche Gumee.

Countess Singing Cloud, bring forth the chalice.

[SPEAKS IN A MAKE-BELIEVE LANGUAGE]

Okay, what the hell is this?

This is the blood of our people.

Oh. Okay.

The wolf people,

the alligator people,

and the crazy people

from whom we gain our strength

to rule all worlds.

Oh, now,

are we gonna do that again?

Hell, yes.

Ow!

Of course we are.

Guys, that's how disease is spread.

Oh, honey, the only disease

that could survive our bloodstream

is alcoholism.

Is that it? I can't tell if that's a scar or wrinkle.

Yeah, that's a wrinkle, pal.

There's some scars behind your ears, though.

Shut up, Caro.

Can't believe y'all are opening your old Ya-Ya wounds for me.

Old wounds heal, pal.

There are people in the world

who are here to save you

when you need saving,

cover your ass when it needs covering,

and are always there

when you need someone to lean on.

We are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses.

Let no man put us under.

Now our blood flows through each other

as it has for all eternity.

Loyal forever, we raise our voices

in the words of mumbo gumbo.

Ya-Ya!

Nice here on the porch, isn't it?

Love it.

I love you, Mama.

I love you too, sunflower.

[ ♪♪♪ ]