Original subtitles

Love when we come together for family time.

I know we'll always weather the hardest time.

But go on, get it. Yeah, you've got to try

my family's pie.

Moving to a new school was really crazy.

Especially since I've always been homeschooled. But my mom met a guy last

and now they're getting married.

I was so excited.

Especially when I found out that I was going to have a stepbrother.

It's not like I wanted to bang my stepbro or anything.

Well, anyway.

I haven't even met him yet. And I'm really just excited to have a big

And no.

Not all homeschooled kids are freaks, okay?

Plus, I've already made some incredible new friends.

The Sextastics.

The most popular, hottest, bloodiest girls in the whole school.

And they wanted to hang out with me.

Sam, you have a really incredible body. You should definitely show it off.

Yeah, totally.

You're seriously so pretty.

Aw, thank you.

So you agree?

What?

You think you're really pretty?

Oh, I guess so.

Nobody is going to talk to you if you're wearing that, so try these instead.

Okay.

And thanks again for inviting me over. This is really cool.

Right? So fetch.

Anyways, so do you have any crushes yet?

No. Well, I mean, there is this one guy I met at school.

Well, dish.

Who is it?

It's... Enzo?

What?

No way!

That's my ex -boyfriend!

You know he's your future step bro, right?

Oh wow, really?

That kind of makes me want him more.

Wait, is that weird or is that hot?

I mean, it's pretty hot.

I mean, no.

Ex -boyfriends are off limits.

It's like against the rules of feminism.

You know, it's okay.

It's whatever.

I could even talk to him for you if you wanted. You know, hype you up a little

bit.

Oh wow, really?

That's so nice of you.

Thank you.

Nothing embarrassing though, right?

What? No, trust me. I know just how to play it.

My nail beds suck.

Get into my house. That doesn't matter.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

Thinking about when you dumped me for Shane?

Oh my god, no. I did not break up with you.

I did, however, just meet your new stepsister.

Yeah, you should probably be careful with her. See, she has a really big

fetish.

And a huge crush on you, too.

Yeah. Wait, you really?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, she was already, like, showing us your socials and everything, and she

even was saying she wanted to know what your dick looked like.

Yeah. Like, you just, I don't know, I think you need something better.

Like,

look, I'm not going to say that she's, like, a stalker or anything, but she

said that she wanted to...

Keep the tissues that you used when you jack off.

Crazy, right?

I don't know. I know you and I feel like you just need someone more dependable,

you know? Something better.

Is this your way of saying that you want to get back together?

It's only yours.

Would you want your step sister or...

Me.

Definitely you.

Mm -hmm.

I'll see you later.

Okay.

It looks like Enzo is mine again, and Mia is shit out of luck.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm definitely sure.

I didn't get that dick last time, but I'm gonna get it this time.

That wasn't very etch of you.

Oh my god, stop trying to make that happen.

God, you're so stupid.

Wow,

my ESPN was right.

She really does think I'm an idiot.

You're not dumb, Megan.

It's true.

I'm failing almost every class.

But I don't get it. She doesn't even really like you that much.

Yeah, and she thinks she's gonna fuck my stepbrother before me? Yeah, right.

I've had enough of this sex -tastic drama.

I'm going to outslut all of you guys at the winter showcase and get my brother's

dick before she can.

But me and you are still cool, right?

Yeah, totally.

Everybody swinging, bells are ringing, we're jingling round the clock.

Oh, jingle around, jingle around, jingle around the block.

The whole family's laughing, tipsy and clapping, keeping time with the clock.

Oh, jingle around, jingle around, shake it till the rafters rock.

It's a holly jolly, slightly unholy, New Biles Christmas hop.

Wow,

that was incredible.

Really? I mean, I did it for you.

Wow, that's like the sweetest thing anybody's ever done.

Seriously? Yeah. Hey, listen.

You're not like the other girls.

You know?

You're not as sex -tastic.

You're my stepsister.

Watching you, that was the best thing.

Really? It made me feel nervous. I felt like I was going to hurl.

Is your stomach okay?

Are you feeling nauseous?

No.

Dizzy? No.

Gruel.

Just me.

Hold on one second

Always scared.

Oh my God.

It's so wrong, but I love that I'm making out with my stepbrother.

seeing you guys kiss, but I want to see you fuck her.

That's a lot.

Yeah,

that's what I'm thinking.

Just like...

You're so cute.

I'm sorry.

I just think that, right, it's very interesting.

brother do that.