Original subtitles

Realistic. Is that what you say?

So today I fucked up.

I upended the lives of the people I love most.

My family.

See, I'm a hustler,

a gigolo, you know, like Richard Gere.

Not that fancy.

It was a means to a beautiful life.

Not today.

Today sucks.

Also, it's my birthday.

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ In the heat of the summer ♪

♪ Better call up the plumber ♪

♪ And turn on the steam pump to cool me off ♪

♪ With your newspaper writers ♪

♪ And your big crimefighters ♪

♪ You still need a drugstore to cure my cough ♪

♪ Running wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

It just isn't in our jurisdiction.

That's a matter for the Housing Court.

You're asking for money from a tenant?

This is a matter for the Housing Court.

Yeah. Not now, Linda.

♪ We've got a gang called Shady ♪

♪ And a midnight lady ♪

♪ And two transvestites to beat the band ♪

♪ No, you better not touch us ♪

♪ You best believe us ♪

Yes, we know it's gonna be so good.

♪ Running wild in the streets ♪

♪ Wild in the streets ♪

♪ Running wild in the streets ♪

I got it, queen. I got it.

I can handle it.

It's gonna be, too. You know me.

Really not a big deal. Please.

Hey, Bobbie.

Happy birthday, Bunny!

Surprise! This...

is Daphne.

We're going old-school,

and...do you know what this is?

This is molly,

the best molly that could be found

in the Tri-State Area

according to a 22-year-old PA.

-Tonight? -Yes.

We have an amazing evening set up.

Yeah, we got that B&B guest.

You said you were free. It's your birthday.

We booked a hotel room.

We've taken care of everything.

Bobbie, I don't feel well.

-I don't know. -It's your birthday.

You were fine this morning.

Why would I lie about something like that?

What?

It'll make you feel better. Um...

All right. What's going on with you?

Nothing.

All right. OK. Here, Daph.

Why don't you take a hit of--

- out of the kitchen window? - OK.

I love you. I'll be right in.

I'm just gonna talk to Bunny for a second.

It's all good. It's nice to meet you, Bunny.

Yeah.

Bunny, come on. We're gonna talk about this.

I understand, OK?

English is also my second language, OK,

but do you have anyone who can help you translate

to fill out the forms for the housing--

The form is a long--

it's a long form.

A long form.

Do you understand?

- Yes. - Right.

-It's a little hectic. -OK.

We're gonna do a quick change of plans here.

Yeah? What's that?

I think I'm gonna meet you at the dinner.

I'm gonna send you off with everything.

- It's all good. - All right.

- Thank you. - OK.

Just come down soon.

What the fuck was that?

I just want to be alone.

Why are you acting so weird?

Linda, if one of your tenants isn't paying rent,

you have to go to Housing Court.

It's just not our jurisdiction.

Oh, you can't help me. I can call. Bye, bye, bye, bye.

-No use. -Li--

What the fuck, Bunny?

Hey, what smells so bad?

-Smell mofongo. -Mofongo?

Oh, I must be a monster

if you're gonna have to take molly

- and fuck two beautiful women. - They

're still arguing in there.

Oh, jinx.

Who is that?

Cops. Fuck!

Oh, it's my fault.

Everything all right?

No. I mean, yeah, of course.

What's all that noise, man?

What's going on?

Everything's fine. That's not what this is.

Well, we heard you from two floors down.

I want to come and take a look around.

Yeah. - You both are welcome to come in,

but you can't come in with those boots.

You got to take them off first.

If you don't want to take them off,

you can put the booties on.

-Good idea. -I'm not gonna do booties.

Ah, ah, ah. I'm not taking off my shoes, OK? I'm not.

Cellestino, just take the shoes off.

They're fucking fine. I'm--I'm--

Yeah. Everything's fine. I'm actually just heading out.

OK. Well, listen.

Feel free to reach out if you ever need any assistance.

- I will. Thank you. - Assistance?

-Yeah. -I'm not gonna be home tonight because so

mebody's gonna have fun on your birthday.

I'll walk you two down.

Oh, it's your birthday.

Happy birthday, man.

- After you. - All right.

What?

Hi. Uh, this is the Airbnb.

Can you come get my bag?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Coming.

It's me. It's you.

It's piping hot Pfeiffer month at Metrograph.

It's fucking "Witches of Eastwick."

Do you know about that?

I'm gonna call you back. I'm gonna call you back.

- Ah! - Beep!

Got you a birthday gift, dude.

-Has a card. -Run it upstairs.

I got to grab the B&B lady, the bags and whatnot.

You know, I saw Bobbie earlier

leave with the cops.

What's going on? You all right?

Not right now.

-OK. OK. -Your hair looks good.

You see this guy waiting for you, right?

All right. I'll see you up there.

I'm gonna call this broad back.

You smell that?

I know. It's fucking awful.

I've been sitting here taking calls on the fucking stairs...

-Ugh. -wafting.

- I'll talk to you later. - All right.

Yeah. You should think about doing laundry

more often, huh?

Well, no, no, no, I separated out my plaids.

- OK. - These are my plaids.

Looking forward to the delicates.

OK. All right.

- Bless you, Bunny. - Yeah.

No. I can't. I got to Save money.

Really want to take Michelle to Taluum.

Oh, my God, I didn't know you were fucking gay.

What? Gay for your mom.

Got it?

I don't-- there's nothing we can do.

Watch this step, Ian.

- Male half. - I got you. OK.

- Hey, man. - Oh, hey.

You, uh--you still mad, or can I ask you a question?

Listen, I don't know anything about Linda's little creep.

No, no, no. It has nothing to do with that, OK?

-Yeah. -Where can I get some shawarma?

Shawarma, right? Yeah. Shawarma around here.

Bereket's down on Houston.

No, no, no, I'm not gonna go back down that far.

Go to my Mamoun's between 2nd and 3rd.

- It's the best. - Perfect.

St. Mark's afterwards.

Wait, what about the báhn mì?

-This-- -All that way, huh?

Yeah. Hi. Chana, Bunny.

Um, actually, you can call me Chana Eliza

or Happy Chana but never Chana.

Copy. This is, uh, Ian,

my wonderful neighbor with a bum arm.

I'm just helping him with his laundry.

I used to be very strong, believe it or not.

I had a motorcycle accident. Ruined my modeling career, also.

-Oh. -I was a model.

We don't have time for the photos.

Bye, Ian. See you later.

All right. Let's get you in.

I apologize in advance for the smell,

but don't worry, it's not in our spot.

So how was your travels?

Well, I was watching "Toy Story" for the first time,

and the entertainment system went out

3 quarters of the way through it.

It was upsetting.

I can get you all the "Toy Stories."

There's more than one?

-Oh. -Oh, Bunny!

We were just looking for you.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

Just missed me, huh? Here I am, huh?

Yaz was looking for you.

So this is Chana. I'm sorry.

Happy Chana.

My name is Chana Eliza.

You can call me Happy Chana or Chana Eliza

- but never-- - Where's Dino?

- He should be upstairs. - OK.

We're throwing a crazy party tonight.

You guys have to come, OK?

We got a cosmic disco ball and strobe lights!

You can help us hang up the strobe lights

and hella shit that we got.

We have so much stuff. You have to come.

- Please. - 5 minutes. Gotcha.

Oh! Let's go. They got both kinds.

I'll slide in, then you come.

All right.

- You got both kinds. - Ooh.

I put your birthday gift on your bed for you.

Thank you. I'm gonna open that

when I when I have the proper time

to give it its attention it deserves,

so, um, take our shoes off.

Oh. I'm sorry. Uh, shoes off here.

This is Linda, Happy, dear friend and neighbor.

She loves to just drop in.

-This is Dino. He's family. -Hi.

If you need anything, I'm not here, just ask him.

-He's got you. -I'm your guy.

You want a peanut butter cup? Both kinds.

So I'm gonna show you around, you know.

Where Bobbie?

Bobbie not home.

No Bobbie?

No Bobbie, OK?

She--she went for a walk. Maybe 10 minutes.

She might call me from Baltimore.

- Bobbie not home tonight. - OK.

All right, here's the digs.

Why you ask so many questions?

Towels are in there.

OK. Let you in.

Some house slippers right here by the door.

Air conditioning.

Welcome to Bunny Chana's. Happy Chana--all right. OK.

These are specially trained cats,

you understand what I'm saying?

-I scared mice. -I know. I know.

I scared cats, too.

No, don't be scared of cats.

Cats don't do anything all day. They just sit there.

OK. Let me ask you this question.

Listen. I've already called 3 rabbis.

I can't stay here alone with you.

-What? -I assumed

your wife would be here.

Either you have to leave, I have to leave,

or you need to bring two women.

-Two women equals a wife. -Does it?

During the daytime, I can be here,

but we need to open the front door.

Now I noticed the mezuzah on the door.

-You are Jewish? -Uh, yeah.

My mother was, uh, Bobbie's father.

I love Albert Brooks.

Can we just try to stay calm?

I'm gonna run downstairs. We'll figure it out.

Maybe we try a few different rabbis.

I really have to go,

but this is a pressing situation.

-Does that door lock? -Yeah.

-Is there a key to my room? -No.

If you really want to get rid of mice,

you need a cat, you need a cat.

Orthodox Jew. Says she can't be here alone with me.

Either I have to leave, or she has to leave,

or I need two women.

-Two women equals a wife. -Jewish math.

Yeah. Bobbie will love that. Please.

Oh, hey. Oh, my God.

Listen. Obviously, I'm not leaving my own home,

but I'm sure we can figure this out.

-I will try more rabbis. -Uh-huh.

For now, I have to get ready for a date.

A date? You just got here.

We've been in correspondence. We may marry.

Well, that's sweet.

I'm still here. I scared.

Ah. I'm scared, too, Linda.

Oh, of mice? Oh, my God!

Linda's scared. You're scared.

What is going on, man?

Nothing. Nothing.

I'm--I don't know, man. I'm good.

Are you sure you're OK?

- What? - Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah.

-Sorry, man. -No, it's all right.

Don't be sorry.

Listen, I'm gonna hook a movie up for me and Linda.

-OK. -All right?

-Yeah. -Then I'm gonna call Ciel

over here because she has a fat ass

and she smells really fucking good.

Ciel plus Linda equals a wife.

It's perfect.

We're getting everything done.

Another thing I want to go over real quick is that

Linda thinks that her deadbeat tenant hasn't been

home in two weeks, and she thinks

something fishy's going on.

I don't know. Don't make a thing out of it.

I wasn't trying to start her shit.

So sick of this guy.

She won't stop talking about him.

Linda, change the locks. Throw his shit out.

Bad man, OK?

-I can't. -Why?

This illegal. Wait in court.

Two weeks gone? He could be dead in there.

Bad tenants should be dead. Yeah.

Fuck, Linda. Jesus Christ. Fucking cold, Linda.

Yeah. You make sure, OK?

I make sure. I make sure.

Cielly, it's Dino. Come to Bunny's.

It's biblical. Push the front door open.

It's broken.

Where do you want me to put these at?

You can put them wherever you want.

As long as they're on a wall, I really don't care.

Do you see how there's a pattern here going on

with the tulle?

Well, I want some ribbon-- Bunny, hello.

- Oh, yeah. - Look at me.

The blue lights behind that, it'd look beautiful.

I think he needs me to help him with the tulle.

You want it to look like an ocean, like waves?

Mmm! Cielly's here just in time for the gang bang.

-Hey! -Door's broken. Bobbie home?

Uh, who are you?

I'm Loren, her dad.

You must be Bunny.

No, no. I'm Dino. I'm their pal.

They're not home right now.

I know, dude. Those stairs suck. Are you OK?

Heh heh. You got a bathroom?

Mmm. Mm-hmm. It's right there.

Oh, shit. The shoe! Oh, boy.

Oh, my God! Wow.

Are you OK in there?

I'll be out in a minute.

- OK. - Oh, goddamn

OK.

-Hi! -Girl.

-What's up? -Thank you for coming.

-Of course. -Oh, my God. It's crazy.

-Hello. -Hi.

Oh, my God. We have a situation.

-What? -It's nuts.

I don't even know what to say.

Oh, shit.

It's OK.

OK.

Man, why don't you come into the kitchen

and hang out a little bit?

I got some stuff to make you feel better.

Ohh. Well.

Drink some of that right there.

I'm gonna give you something.

Eat one of these.

Oh, shit. Really? That's fucked up.

OK. OK.

These are mild.

Don't even worry about this.

I give this shit to my pops for nausea and anxiety.

Hit that real quick.

What's your pa got anxiety about?

Cancer.

-You know. -Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, man. You know, everybody's got something.

Wipe your face, man. You got some stuff there.

You should come join us in the living room.

We got some friends over here.

We have some people hanging out.

Come in and hang out. It's nice.

We'll get to talking, and we got some friends over.

It's all good, brother.

-Sorry, sorry, sorry. -No, Happy.

Good news. We have Ciel and Linda here,

so two women equals a wife,

and now you can relax and you can go out

and have a lovely date, and we're all rooting for you,

and fingers crossed.

Thank you, Dino.

I'm really looking forward to it.

My name is Chana Eliza.

You can call me Happy Chana or Chana Eliza

- but never just-- - Shh. Watch a movie.

- Oh. Oh, no, Linda. - You got to be nice.

She didn't mean it, Happy.

- Good luck, girl. - Linda.

- Movie. - Ohh.

Thank you.

Hey, Loren. How are you feeling?

Who are all these people?

I came here to see my daughter. Where's my daughter?

I want to see Bobbie.

I actually wanted to ask you about that.

Like, are you--ahem-- are you, like--are you dying?

Am I dying? Am I dying?

- Vomit. - Oh.

Oh! Yeah, that is vomit. That's vomit.

-She's right. -Oh, my God.

Clean yourself up.

Oh, don't smell it.

I'm not dying.

-OK. -I'm not.

I feel like I'm dying.

My wife left me. She left me.

She said I was unlovable. Unlovable?

She said I wasn't in my body. Not in my body?

What is this? Am I not in my fucking body?

Huh? She left me.

That's intense.

Now I'm nothing to brag.

I mean, I've always done the leaving,

but this time, I was left and it just hit me.

I had a feeling. I had a feeling like...

this is what I did to Bobbie.

I left Bobbie. This is how she must be feeling.

I abandoned my daughter.

I abandoned my Bobbie.

I abandoned my son!

-What? -Remember that movie?

"Th-There Will Be Blood." You know that movie?

Daniel Day-Lewis. Remember that big speech he makes?

I abandoned my son. It's--

I'm just saying those things are real,

and people write stuff like that because they happen.

They need it to look like-- tulle is this.

- This is tulle. - You know who's a tool?

- You fucking boy Dino, bro. - Hey.

Take it down a notch.

Look, no. I don't mean to disrespect the guy.

- He just be talking too much. - No, we're cool.

He's family, and we're cool, so let's just take it down.

- We're gonna do this. - So, Bun, with the tulle,

I need you to help me with that.

I can't reach. This tulle needs to go up there.

- Yeah, I know. - Look at this.

There's, like, nothing's organized.

It's a fucking indicative of a lifestyle.

I can't stand this.

Brad gave me all these fucking gadgets last Christmas.

I've been trying to go through them whole year.

- This is a perfect time for it. - Yeah. OK.

Um, Where are we putting these chairs, huh?

-Guys, look. -There's too many places.

Bunny's ready for tonight.

Getting freaky!

-Bunny's getting freaky! -Hey, hey!

Bunny, you need to get nasty tonight. Fuck.

Ha ha! Um... you have all this shit.

You don't even have an extension cord.

I'm gonna run upstairs and grab my extension cord, OK?

I know that you have them,

so why would I get one?

Then help me with the tulle,

Bunny, I got you this gift

so we can wear these together same day, same time.

Happy birthday! Love, Dino.

Dino, I love you, man! I'll be back.

The jersey. It's--

Is that my daughter's husband?

Let's have some popcorn.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hi.

You need to get that other clamp on.

Oh, my God! I didn't do nothing, yo.

- It just fell off like that. - He didn't do it!

What did I just say?

Whatever. You know what? Right there. Be careful.

I'm being careful. I'm being careful.

So many pieces were falling off.

- Yeah, yes! Wait. - What the fuck?

We need her view honestly.

All right. OK, ladies. I think we're done here.

Yeah? We're good. I'll see you tonight.

Hey, Mr. Phil.

Buddy, huh? Yeah.

Let's go. Come on.

All right, here we go.

Yeah. You should really look into a ground floor apartment.

I'm moving to Beverly Hills for $6,000.

Yeah, I have no idea what that means.

All right, I got you, little buddy.

I got you. I got you.

All right, come on.

OK. Here we go.

Uh-Uh, uh-uh.

There you go, Ian.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh!

What's wrong?

He stood me up.

I'm--I'm sorry, you know?

Men are trash.

I did figure out how to stay here, though.

The fifth rabbi said that I can lock my bedroom door,

and then we leave the front door open all night.

What? You need to--

Don't worry about it now.

He said he'll be by later to explain everything.

I'm just--I don't know when

because I haven't heard back from him,

but he'll be by.

Listen. Thank God. You know, things are looking up.

Come on. You get to stay here, right?

-Huh? -Yeah.

You get to go up there, relax, have some food.

You're in New York.

Oh. Fair warning, though, I'll be here for Shabbat,

so we have to unroll the toilet paper

and turn off the light in the fridge

and a few other things.

Yeah, whatever you need, Happy.

Whatever you need.

I got you, Happy.

Yo, what's up with your Mitsubishi fucking microwave?

Man, that shit's smoking everything.

What are you doing?

Making popcorn. What's going on?

Get inside now! Hide!

No! What are you doing?

There's a fucking guy coming for me.

- Your jersey looks great. - Thank you.

There is someone coming for me now.

-Get the fuck-- -Yours fits better than mine.

- Someone coming for you? - Here he is.

- Oh, my God! - Shh!

OK. What?

Why are you standing like that?

Oh, my God. Who is that? What is that?

I'm fucking having a bad day.

I'm scared.

Yeah. Me, too. Thank you.

♪ Flames overhead ♪

♪ Rain until you cry ♪

♪ My baby's on the highway ♪

♪ Come in from the cold ♪

♪ Never going home ♪

Mazel.

♪ Never going home ♪

♪ D for disaster, E for my eyes ♪

♪ A for my anger, D before I die ♪

♪ M for Mona, O oh good ♪

♪ O oh good, N for the night ♪

♪ Dead Moon Night, Dead Moon Night ♪

In my fucking house, huh?

Jesus Christ.

♪ Call me if you need me ♪

♪ Down in New Orleans ♪

♪ Can't release the victims ♪

♪ Have you seen what I seen? ♪

♪ In New York City ♪

Oh. I know, that's right, girl.

Say your little prayers.

I'm gonna try to be more spiritual myself.

You eat your food, you get some rest.

Tomorrow will be better.

I came all the way from Tarzana, California,

just to meet him.

Men are trash.

♪ N is for night, Dead Moon Night ♪

Yo. What the fuck, bro? Man's got fucked.

-These idiots? -Fuck!

Hold up.

Yo, this dude's fucked up, man.

Oh, my God, you two.

Do you know this fucking guy?

We went out for iced tea, and this fucking guy

was laying at the bottom of the stairs.

Do you know him? Do you know this guy?

I don't fucking know this guy, bro.

I saw him drinking that Crystal Palace shit

that you guys like, I know it.

I don't know this fucking guy!

-This is your friend? -Fuck you! It's not my friend!

- Fuck you! Fuck him! - Damn, man.

Get the fuck out of my face, bro.

You OK with that bike, buddy?

I don't need help with the bike!

- I got the bike! - You sure?

Why don't you mind your business, bro?

All right, buddy.

- Crystal Palace? - Dude, I panicked.

It was fucking good.

We got to get this guy out of here, like, now.

Anyone can come through that fucking unlocked door.

I'm gonna fucking grab him.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

He's fucking heavy.

Oh, fuck!

♪ Hazard on the highway ♪

♪ Breaking down slow ♪

♪ They thought she was looking ♪

♪ Now I'm all alone ♪

♪ I'm often aband-- ♪

That is a rubber boot.

It's a strong boot.

Just this last fucking step.

There you go.

Drag it over a little.

Bun, tell me what the fuck is going on, man.

Who is this fucking guy? Why is he here?

Calvin. Heh heh.

Is that who this is? This is Calvin?

-Mm-hmm. -Who the fuck is this guy, man?

Why is he coming after you? What is going on here?

Please just talk to me.

I fucked up. Dino, I fucked up pretty bad.

-I fucked up. -OK.

Just tell me what happened.

Just tell me everything that happened.

I--I had a job today.

I went to my job. Two guys hired me.

They wanted an older fucking stud,

so I show up, and, uh, my instincts told me

it was off completely right when I walked in,

and then I just stayed, and they're all fucked up,

and they're throwing money around,

and the kid wants head immediately.

Oh, come on. This is gross.

So I'm just blowing the kid, and his friend walks up

behind me real quiet, and then all of a sudden,

he's just--he's bear hugging me, and they're laughing,

and he grabs the back of my head

and just slams his cock down my throat,

and he won't stop, and I--and I realize

I can't breathe at all, and he just keeps doing it,

and they're laughing, and he's slapping me

in the side of the head so fucking hard,

and this guy is just sitting there nonchalant,

so I fucking just bounced my head back into that guy

behind me, smashed him, jumped on this dude,

and I started choking the guy I was blowing.

and I fucking bit something on him,

and I'm biting him and biting him

until this giant dude just grabs me and throws me

across the room.

Came home.

You were raped.

What? Who are you?

I'm Bobbie's dad. Loren.

Oh, I know your name.

This is Loren. He's Bobbie's dad.

He showed up earlier. I tried to tell you.

Let's get him out of the hall.

We gonna take him into Linda's apartment?

Wait, wait. I got a B&B guest.

Bobbie could come up.

She's in there watching fucking TV.

Jesus Christ, I'll help. Come on, come on.

- OK. - Dude, I don't want

-to do this, man. -Me either.

I don't want to fucking do this.

I know, but this is is what I got to do, man.

I'm carrying fucking legs now, man.

I don't want to do this.

So fucking sorry, bro.

Linda! Sorry, Linda. We need your help.

- Oh my, God. - Agh!

Rapist or not,

I can't believe you fucking killed a guy.

Oh, shit! She's yelling at us.

- Don't worry. - Too big.

- Oh, my God. - He's a bad man.

- Oh! - Are you all right?

- I'm so sorry. - He hurt you?

Didn't have anywhere else to go.

Fuck this dude.

He's dying, man?

Yeah. Fuck him, man.

You said Calvin earlier.

Yeah? So?

So I was thinking, you know.

The biggest mystery to me in the city,

you know what it is?

That Calvin Klein billboard on Lafayette

and Mulberry and Houston.

What the fuck am I gonna do with him?

What am I gonna do here?

You ever seen them change that billboard?

What the fuck am I gonna do?

It's a huge mystery. You know, I've been leaving

a bar one time at, like, 4 a.m.

I've been back on that same block at 7 a.m.,

and I see the billboard's different.

-How do they change it? -Fuck!

When do they do it? It's got to be a whole ordeal.

So you left the bar at 4 a.m. and went back at 7:00.

I don't even understand what you're talking about.

It doesn't make sense, but, no, I've never seen it, OK?

I'm gonna tell you the biggest mystery in the city is

what the fuck are we doing with this body?

-Exactly. -What are we doing?

- What are we doing? - What are we doing?

- Shh. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yo. That could--that's-- you hear that?

That's, like, footsteps.

- Is there a-- - Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Is there another one of these fucking guys, dude?

- Shh. It's Bobbie. - What?

- Yeah. I know. - No.

-It's Bobbie? -D, it's fucking Bobbie.

No, dude. What are you gonna say?

I don't know. I just--I need Bobbie.

Damn, this is fucked up.

Yo, Bobbie.

Bunny?

- I just. - No. Come--

I need--we need to talk.

Of course we need to talk.

We need to go upstairs to the roof.

-Are you kidding me? -I am not.

-Why to the roof? -You will--just get up there.

Oh, my God. I swear to fucking God, Bunny!

- Bobbie, Bobbie. - We have to have

this conversation on Tar Beach?

-Yes, we do, OK? -Fucking kidding me? Why?

Things have gone haywire.

You think I don't know things have gone haywire?

Ciel's texting me that something's off,

and then...

there is a distance between us that I've never felt.

-I have to tell you two things. -Why? Why?

I just need to tell you this.

Your estranged father's downstairs

stoned out of his mind with Dino and Linda.

I mean, Dino's regular stoned, Linda's not stoned at all,

and, uh, that doesn't matter, OK?

Second, I killed a man, a bad man.

You know, he came here, like, an hour ago,

and it just got out of control, and the body's in Linda's.

-What?! -Yeah.

-What? -Bobbie.

-Oh, my God. -Bobbie, Bobbie.

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God. -I know.

I'm gonna deal with it.

Where are you going?

Bun, I have to see what the fuck you're talking about.

- OK, OK. - All right?

It's a lot, OK?

Bring your voice down.

I'm sorry.

What's up, Bobbie? This is fucked up.

Ta-da!

Oh, fuck! Oh--

I'm sorry.

Oh, fuck! Oh, my God. Dude! Fuck!

Um...

Hey, Bob. Long time.

Dad, is that a joke?

- No. - I know.

I--I got him fucked up. - He's trashed.

He came to see you. He was really nervous.

He was sweating, he was throwing up,

and I gave him, like, weed.

I smoked a joint with him. I gave him edibles.

I--that's on me. I did. I did.

I didn't really know the situation.

Oh, fuck this.

He just makes me so fucking mad!

Yeah, I see,

but I--I think he's just trying to connect, OK?

-Connect? -Wrong method.

It's probably in the best interest for both of you.

-Best interest? -Yeah.

I don't give a fuck about his best interest.

I also don't give a fuck about the two of you

coming together and trying to figure out

-what's best for me. -Yeah.

-The two of you right now? -Like, yeah. OK. I'm sorry.

Could you just not get in between me and my dad?

Yeah. Of course. I hear you.

-Thank you. -I hear you. I was wrong.

It's all good. I won't do it again,

and I'm sorry.

I'm not fucking talking to him.

Yeah. OK.

What's up, Bobbie. Sorry.

W-Why are you all in Linda's apartment?

Because we have a B&B guest,

we have a dead body, and it just happened this way.

-I'm sorry. I didn't plan it. -Calm down.

-I'm sorry, Linda. -Linda, are you OK?

Yeah. He's a bad man.

I know. I'm not gonna leave him here.

I need to get him out. You are right.

We got to fucking do this fast.

I'm trying to figure it out.

He was raped.

What? This guy raped you?

Did this guy rape you? Bun, Bun.

- Listen, I was just-- - What the fuck?

Hey, hey, hey. Bun.

-What? -Did this guy rape you?

Oh, no, this guy didn't rape me.

This guy is the driver, I guess,

the security for these rich psychopaths,

and it got out of hand, and they attacked me,

and I responded, and I bit something

off of one of them, and I came home.

I ran home.

Did people see you running down the street looking crazy?

Ew.

Hey, Bunny!

Well, I mean, anyone that was out, I don't know.

I'm running middle of the fucking day.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Calm down.

We need to deal with this.

Dude...before we deal with that, this is--this is...

- What? - Really heavy.

-What? -I am so sorry

this happened to you.

Oh. I'm good.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

-I'm good. -You're not good.

This is not OK,

but we are gonna figure this out. OK.

I need to deal with this.

Dude, people saw you running down--

people saw you running down the street.

You have long fucking hair, and you're distinct.

People know you. We need to--

we need to cut your fucking hair.

- My hair? - Yeah. That's good idea.

- His hair? - Cut his hair off.

- I can do that. - No, you can't do it.

No. You're not cutting my hair.

Just don't--just sit down and just don't.

Just don't. I'm gonna go upstairs.

I'm gonna get scissors, and I'm gonna get the razor.

I'm gonna calm down. Ciel's upstairs.

- Yeah. Think of us. - I'm sorry. Linda--

- There's a Jewish girl. - OK.

The Airbnb. Her name is Chana.

Chana's up--Happy Chana.

- That's it. - Hi.

- Hello, there. - China?

I didn't think you were coming home.

You can call me Chana Eliza or Happy Chana but never...

-Got it. Thank you, Happy. -just Chana.

- Oh, my God. - The girl got

stood up tonight.

Oh, God. Men are trash.

I'm a production designer.

I never bring my work home with me,

but I wanted to play a prank on Bunny.

You have no fucking ideas!

What the fuck are we doing here?

- Got it. - Any idea.

- Got it. - No, Bun.

We haven't come up with one fucking idea.

No, no, no. It's OK. We're just gonna...

- No. Bobbie! - Nothing is OK.

Bobbie don't-- What, Dino, what, Dino?

This is the one where I draw the line here.

- What? - Listen.

You said Jimmy Russo. You said Sonny Black.

You said Donnie Brasco.

I'm not chopping this fucking guy up.

Listen. I'm just pitching ideas here.

I'm fucking kicking the tires.

She has buckets in there. There's a bathtub.

I figure maybe we bleed him out. Nobody's chopping up--

what are you talking about?

Hey. We put him in ac-- listen. You stop.

We put him in acid, we bleed him, maybe it works.

Dude, this is not the time for a butcher.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Shh. Don't answer it. Don't answer it. Don't.

Hello?

Yes, sir.

- Oh, shit. - What the f--

Busy. Busy. Bye-bye.

She ain't about to talk.

Anyways, I apologize. OK, I apologize.

I just want to say-- I just want to say

I'm legit fucking scared now.

I am terrified, and I--that's--

I have no idea what to fucking do...

Oh, my God.

And obviously I was wrong.

Look at us. We don't chop bodies up.

You two are-- Can we just cover him up?

I'm tired of looking at his fucking face!

Yes. Stop being drama queens.

Hey. Calm down, calm down.

- OK. - OK?

We calm down.r.

Well, not really, but they seem inseparable.

They're even wearing the same thing today,

which I find silly at their age, but also cute.

They do shit like that all the time...

- Yes. - Unfortunately.

And, uh, where are they?

- They're out. - Oh, last I saw,

they were just right downstairs.

When I came to let you in, I walked right by them.

You know, I would like to speak

- with these two, if I may. - Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

- Um... - Right away.

I'll go down and see.

I'll go down, Rabbi. I'll go get them.

- OK. Thank you! - OK. OK.

Yeah. You're welcome.

- Oh, shit! - Oh. Babe--

What are you doing here?

We had to move the package.

-Uh, what? -We had to move the package.

- The suitcase. - I got it, I got it.

I got--oh, no.

No, oh, no.

This is a bad idea. Bad idea.

- What do you mean? - Are you kidding?

You can't just leave the girls with the body.

I totally agree, yeah. I mean, these kids

are terrific. They throw a wonderful party.

Oh, my God, you guys are so fucking predictable.

Also, I'm assuming you know the rabbi's upstairs?

- So? - "So"?

- Yeah, yeah. - So what?

He fucking wants to see both of you.

- Yeah. - What?

How does he know who we are?

- I know. He's... - All right,

this is what you're gonna do.

You're gonna fucking deal with this,

fast, I'm gonna try and stall the rabbi,

which has been borderline impossible.

I'm telling you, he's running a fucking hard line.

- I'm pushing. - OK.

- Yes. - Fast!

- OK. - Yes.

Ah.

Ah, "Diary of a Mad Black Woman."

- Yeah. Heh! Yeah. - How does the rabbi know

who we are? Also, I'm not fucking going back

on that fire escape. Wait, hold on. Let's regroup.

- Let's go. - She's awesome.

Let's go. Come on.

She's fantastic.

She is extraordinary.

She has a similar-- is she related to--

Yeah, that's Bobbie's mother.

- Bobbie. - Yes.

Yes. Ah, beautiful.

Beautiful hair.

Look at the--oh. Like she's almost praying.

You're getting jelly all over your cup.

All right. Plan.

Shit.

- Fuck this. - Go, go, go, go. Go.

- Nope. - Where's the suitcase?

Fuck that.

No, there's a chick, like, passed out

- in there. - So what?

Like, her skirt's hiked up. I'm not touching her.

Like an Eminem song, dude.

Nobody's saying touch her.

Just pull the suitcase out from under.

-"Just"? -Yeah.

No, no, she's, like, laying on the suitcase.

Listen, Loren, my DNA's

not going anywhere near that woman.

OK, I've done enough damage tonight, man.

He's right.

Should I get Linda?

- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

Fuck, man.

I should have studied harder.

Oh... what do we do now?

Just go in the closet.

There has to be something. It's fucking insane in there.

In here? OK. Oh, wow.

- Come on. - Oh, use these.

Let's go. All right. This--

Oh, my God!

It's a pogo stick.

Heh!

All right, I got it.

- It's fine. - Yeah.

- Be careful. - Mm.

- Oh, shit. Here. - Stop.

- Oh, stop poking her. - Oh.

I don't know what else to do.

OK, I'm gonna get her foot.

I got an idea.

- Stop... - I'm just gonna

pick her up, just like that.

I'm just gonna pull her away.

Fuck. We just need this suitcase.

I'm picking her up. OK.

What are you doing?

Oh, what happened?

Oh, my God, it's Linda. It's Linda.

- Hey... - Hey.

- Get up, now! - Yeah.

Get up, lady! Get up.

- Yeah. Heh heh! - Get up!

- Yeah, yeah. - Get up, now!

Listen to her.

- Get up, get up. - Oh.

Yeah, I got something for you.

Now, wake up. We're standing.

Hey!

Drink too much, the lady.

- Smell bad. - Oh.

OK.

- Come in. Wake up! - All right.

- Drink too much. - Let's go.

All right, we're gonna go.

♪ ...jumpin', the place was packed ♪

♪ LBC, motherfucker, we back ♪

♪ About to drop something, about to turf ♪

♪ The turf 'bout the surf ♪

♪ What is it worth? ♪

♪ Well, I'm the W-A- double R-E-N-G ♪

♪ And I'm the S-N- double O-until the P-D-O-G ♪

♪ Celebrate it, elevate it ♪

♪ It's me and my dawg ♪

♪ You know I regulate it ♪

♪ Strobe lights, low-lifes, highlights, 2-10 ♪

- You got this? - Yeah.

Ew, what fucking smells so bad?

It's that fucking junkie behind me who stinks.

No, no, no, it's that old Chinese bitch's food.

Ha ha ha--whoa!

Fuck.

OK...

everybody here has to go.

Oh!

- We live here. - All right, well,

anybody that lives here obviously can stay.

Everybody else, let's go. On the way out.

I'm, like, staying on the couch this week.

No you're not. It's Yaz's couch week.

All right, fucking joke. What you're not doing is

listening to any of us, OK? This fuck--

what's your fucking name? Fucking Rifle?

- Gunnar. - What you're not

fucking understanding is that this fucking guy swung first

on my friend, who you have in the back of your car

- right fucking now! - No, that is

- a fucking lie! - All right, all right.

And everyone here can attest to that!

Yo, I'm pretty sure that his best friend is

- a hooker! - All right, listen!

- Who cares? - Can anyone here

attest to what the gentleman's saying?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Yes, yes.

Bunny?

- Bun? - Hi.

- Hey. - Mm-hmm?

- Bobbie? - Bunny?

-Bobbie. -Bun.

-I love you, but... -I love you.

I have to come clean.

Bunny,

you're gonna shut the fuck up.

You're not gonna say anything.

You're gonna take Bunny to jail, then?!

And you're gonna let Richie Rich here

- go swim in a pool of money? - Jesus fucking Christ!

Shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up!

- Every one of you! - Who you yelling at, bro?

- Dino! - Who the fuck are you

yelling at, tough guy? Look at you, trying

to stand there all charged and shit,

thinking you're all tall! Who do you think you are?

You come up in here just accusing people of dumb shit,

you fucking bald-headed, flat-footed pussy!

- Dino! - Oh, my God!

Shut the fuck up, Dino!

Say one more motherfucking word.

- Bro, you ain't shit. - Dino.

You mouthed off to that cop, didn't you?

Hmm.

The junkie took the suitcase.

Loren ditched.

Hell of a run.

- Sir, sir-- - If you talk to me

- like a human being, I can-- - Whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Quiet! Quiet! Belle. Calm down.

Belle, what is going on here?

Ah, ha ha.

Gabrielle.

- Come here, come here. - Where'd she get churros?

I don't know, but I want one.

So here's the deal. Showed up here

on a, uh, noise complaint,

and when I walked in, the, uh, Bunny gentleman

was knocking out this Gunnar kid.

-Get the fuck away. -Fuck you guys!

-Fuck you. -Call your daddy.

-You rat fuck! -Dick!

Oh, he just called his dad, he just called his dad.

And where the fuck were you 20 minutes ago?

We were getting some fucking churros.

Copy that. We can hold up.

Uh, police,

this guy swung first.

What? Which? Which one is that?

- This guy. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why'd you say that? No, I fucking didn't!

You hear this? Who swung first?

He did! You knew who did this?

Yeah, fucking right!

Are you kidding? Look at my fucking face!

Did you talk to any of these witnesses?

I talked to every one of 'em.

OK, well, where's the other half of you?

Where's the prettier version of you?

- He's upstairs! - Well, where--

- where the fuck is Bunny? - Bunny's in my car,

in the cage with Eminem.

Listen, we've been here all day, and all we've seen

is Bunny help people.

We were, like, trying to fucking tell you,

but you were not fucking listening.

All right, F-letter Words.

We just got here. Relax.

Why don't we just go upstairs and get

the other gentleman, huh?

OK. Let's go upstairs.

- Official police business. - Actually,

you were called. Why don't you do that?

Oh.

Hi.

- It's Bobbie, right? - Mm-hmm.

-You doing OK? -Mm-hmm.

-You sure? -Uh-huh.

OK, well, listen, I know it's been a wild day,

but we're gonna figure this out, all right?

-Appreciate that. -I don't want you to worry.

What am I doing?

I don't understand why you're so Johnny Confident

about him getting arrested, because if he gets arrested

and goes to jail, that means you go to jail, too, because

we have 8 witnesses who say you threw the first punch.

- What? - Yeah.

-No, that's bullshit! -Yeah, that's what it is.

- You ever been to jail? - Ha!

They have not been to jail.

Oh, these fucking guys.

You guys see what happened here?

He did it.

Fuck that!

- This is so fucking unfair! - What the fuck?

- Hey. - Case closed.

- Take it easy. - I go to some lame

art chick party, and I get punched

- in the fucking face? - Well--

- Yeah! - Look, obviously,

we don't want to go to jail, dude.

OK. Then it's settled.

So we're--we're good?

- I'll run it for you. - I'll just hide it.

Look who it is. Oh.

Eminem and Thor.

- Hey, Belle? - OK.

-Huh? -You got to uncuff 'em.

Well, I'm fine to let this one go, but this one's

- not going anywhere. - What?

- I'm sorry, man. - What are you sorry for?

I should have just kept my mouth shut.

I was trying to help him. I was wrong.

So you learned a lesson tonight?

-Absolutely. -OK.

Belle, just let him go, man. Cut him a break.

I let him go, what's in it for me?

We'll grab a coffee later.

That make you happy? Let him go.

- My house or your house? - Oh, Christ.

Starbucks.

Booyah!

- Venti? - Jesus Christ.

- Let's go drinking. - Stop talking.

- Just uncuff him. Jesus Christ. - I want a big one.

What do you boys got

planned for the rest of the night? Anything good?

- Bedtime. - Yeah.

- Bedtime. That sounds-- - Yo, relax.

- All right. - Don't make us

- regret this, guys. - Enjoy the rest

- of your night. - Thank you.

- Good night. - Thanks, guys.

- Happy birthday. - Take care.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

OK, we got to find that fucking suitcase,

- like, now. - I know.

Aw, how does it feel to be free?

Where have you guys been?

The rabbi has been waiting.

All right, come on. Let's go in.

Yeah, let's go.

I do believe I saw you slay a giant.

What does that mean?

I saw what I saw,

downstairs?

Why haven't you called the cops?

I didn't call the police because...

I heard you say you were raped, and I believed you.

-You believe me? -Yes.

I'm supposed to feel better,

but you're standing over me in the back room,

talking to me, so what are we doing?

What was your last act of kindness,

- truthfully? - I'm trying to help

my neighbor get rid of a bad guy.

We are trying to help the neighbor

- get rid of a bad guy. - Yes, we are.

OK.

Uh, OK.

I see.

Look, so, yo, I--

I start the day thinking I'm gonna help someone

- find themselves sexually. - Yeah?

I end up standing over a giant dead guy,

and we got this teeny, tiny one that's gone missing.

I see--

Daddy's home.

Oh, you got the suitcase back!

I been in the stairwell, listening

to that freak Franklin still blasting "Kung Fu."

"Kung Fu"?

"Kung Fu"?

Loren, you good?

Listen to me, Bunny.

I'm--I am. - "Kung Fu."

Carradine.

David fucking Carradine.

That big bastard... was masturbating.

You know, I remember when that happened.

- It was really sad. - Autoerotic

asphyxiation.

Bingo, Rabbi.

Autoerotic asphyxiation.

See? See how they framed Carradine?

What am I not getting here?

Oh, it's autoerotic asph--hmm--asphyxiation.

Just a minute. "A person engaging

in such sexual strangulation is sometimes called a gasper."

We got a gasper.

Heh! I get it.

So the big guy comes into little junkie's apartment,

kills him, and then he ends up here, jerking off?

Yeah, lights out, like David fucking Carradine.

- Whew! - Rest in peace.

Yeah, nobody's gonna give a shit

about either one of 'em.

Oh. Weirdo sex.

- This could work. - Exactly.

Bobbie.

Deal with it tomorrow, but you got to call her.

OK.

OK.

- I love you. - I love you.

This is obscene.

In a fucking suitcase.

Take pictures of everything.

Everyone's wearing gloves, right?

Have to-- Don't scare me, man.

Kim, come on.

You don't got to think about it.

You've done this before. Please?

♪ Rock 'n' roll, save my life tonight ♪

♪ Amongst many, many more beautiful nights ♪

♪ Oh, baby, you just know it ♪

♪ I really just want to be free ♪

♪ Of the same mistakes ♪

♪ And it never breaks, but we're still young ♪

♪ And our heart still aches to find life ♪

♪ And a life beside it ♪

♪ And we'll fight 'cause you know ♪

♪ That we're right and we'll win ♪

♪ 'Cause we never give in, so begin ♪

♪ In your street today ♪

♪ And you know ♪

♪ When is the place we can go ♪

♪ Where we can be all alone ♪

♪ To escape the world today ♪

♪ Never heard girls put a smile on my face ♪

♪ And take me out of this sad, horrible place ♪

♪ So come on, let's do it ♪

My turn. Your turn, then was my turn.

♪ Again, let's meet up... ♪

- Nobody hurt Linda. - Hey.

What? What?

Your pops is a standup guy.

Shut the fuck up, Dino.

- OK. - OK? Good.

♪ And we'll fight ♪

♪ 'Cause we know that we're right and we'll win ♪

You know, this...

Come on, come on.

- Linda. - Thank you for today.

Come here, come here.

- Family. - Here.

Oh, my gosh. Beautiful.

♪ Where you'll escape from the world today ♪

♪ Oh, bring your lips, it's the apocalypse ♪

♪ I'm assuring you something that you just can't miss ♪

Don't worry.

I stole it.

♪ Our wild times in the sun ♪

- Yeah, I saw. - You saw?

♪ Gonna do it this way tonight ♪

♪ Toni-i-ight, yi, yi, yi ♪

♪ Do it this way tonight ♪

♪ And we'll fight ♪

♪ We know that we're right, and we'll win ♪

♪ We'll never give in, so begin ♪

♪ In your street today ♪

♪ And we'll fight ♪

♪ You know that we're right and we'll win ♪

♪ Never give in, so begin ♪

♪ In your street tonight ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- All right. - Kind of annoying that we

- have to carry the chairs back. - I know.

Should we cr--Let's cross.

- Should we? - Yeah.

♪ If ever this motorcycle ♪

♪ Go slip in the mud now ♪

♪ Well, let me have these children ♪

♪ To carry down the blood ♪

♪ If ever these ruby rings ♪

♪ Are slipping from my cold fingers ♪

♪ Let them be passed down now ♪

♪ And, honey, let my ghost linger ♪

♪ Well, I will raise 'em, I will raise 'em ♪

♪ I will raise, I will raise, I will raise 'em ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ In the city surrounded by water ♪

♪ Now give me daughters ♪

♪ And make 'em 1, 2, 3 ♪

♪ I will raise 'em ♪

♪ They'll go to church with me ♪

♪ Every day, in every way ♪

♪ I gave 'em all I had ♪

♪ And I walk along OK ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ If you're tired or you're hungry ♪

♪ Or you had too much sugar ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Now give me daughters ♪

♪ And make 'em 1, 2, 3 ♪

♪ I will raise 'em ♪

♪ They will look like me ♪

♪ And when they send, send me away ♪

♪ Well, I will always pray ♪

♪ For a happy birthday ♪

♪ And when at night coming down on crutches ♪

♪ You will never be alone ♪

♪ Oh, you will become so beautiful ♪

♪ To think of it makes me cry ♪

♪ And every month, a brand-new letter ♪

♪ Written from my motel kitchen ♪

♪ To tell funny jokes and a little hope ♪

♪ If you ever get tired of living ♪

♪ If you're hungry or you're tired ♪

♪ Or you had too much sugar ♪

♪ Oh, let me be ♪

♪ The one that looks down on you ♪

♪ All right, eh ♪

♪ Come on ♪

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