All language subtitles for jane.the.virgin.s05e17.720p.hdtv.x264-lucidtv[eztv]

st at the end.

And our Jane was approaching
the finish line as well.

That's right,
she had finished her novel.

You know, the one
based on her life.

Oh, and she got herself
an agent.

Yes!
And in more good news...

Rogelio's pilot This Is Mars
got picked up to series.

Unfortunately,
River Fields decided

to move the show to New York.
For my family.

What about my family?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of giant moves,

Rafael started working
for Petra,

and Petra was determined
to expand the Marbella.

I want a Marbella in every
major city, on every continent.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Might as well dream big, right?

But not everything was dreamy.
Remember our evil villain Rose?

The one who kidnapped Mateo
and gave Michael amnesia?

Well, Jane was determined to
confront her once and for all.

If I can just say
my piece to her,

I really think
I'll be able to move on.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Only problem...

(tires screeching)

Run!
DENNIS: Because of Luisa,

we were able to uncover Rose's

escape plan and send in a team
to capture her.

You're under arrest.

Luisa betrayed me?
Police!

DENNIS: Unfortunately,
things didn't go as planned,

and she escaped again.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which, I'm afraid,

is where we left off.

Friends, after our
Jane Gloriana Villanueva

heard the news...

Rose escaped.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, everything changed.

We don't know
where she is,

but Luisa's on her way
to a safe house in Belize.

We feel certain she will
try to contact her.

So my sister is bait?
Oh, she insisted.

She wanted to keep Rose away
from you and your family.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, well, from that moment on,

our Jane was living
in a constant state of anxiety,

so her family stepped in
to help her cope.

BOTH:
Our Father, who art in Heaven...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
But despite their best efforts,

our Jane remained traumatized.

(exhales)

(screams)

Always on edge.

Afraid of what was lurking
around the corners,

in the shadows.

Yeah, it was the
air conditioner.

I checked, no one
is outside.

Are you okay?

No. I hate
living like this.

I know.

Maybe it's time for you
to get professional help.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But
after talking and talking...

I just can't talk anymore.

I know, logically,
Rose isn't coming,

but I can't shake this
feeling that there's

something horrible
just around the corner.

Which is no way to live.
Exactly.

And I need to figure out
how to manage my anxiety.

I think maybe
you should try tapping.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I don't think tap dancing

is going to solve this problem.

One of the branches of therapy
I offer is EFT.

It's a self-soothing tool,
based in acupuncture.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well,
that makes much more sense.

Every time you feel anxious,

just tap along these meridians.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here.

Is it working?
A little.

Maybe? I have to remember
the tapping pattern,

so that at least takes my mind
off of Rose. How was your day?

Ugh, stressful.

Petra keeps calling,
e-mailing and texting me

every two seconds.

She even had me paged
at the gym.

I can hardly use the
bathroom without her...

(ringtone playing)

Relax, it's my phone.

Maybe you should
start tapping.

Ooh, it's my agent.

(chuckles)
You love saying that.

I really do.

I should talk to my agent.

Hey, Lily.

Okay, Jane, listen, I have news.

Okay.

Good news or bad news?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
In case you forgot,

Jane is not a fan
of unexpected news.

Oh, sorry. Sometimes I forget
how anxious you writers are.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Especially a writer
whose villain

just broke out of prison.

It's good news.
Publishers are loving your book.

Oh, my God, really?

Really.

A couple editors
want to meet you,

so I'm setting some lunches.

Lunches?
Okay, sounds good.

Sure does.

I think you're gonna get
a good offer, Jane.

Wow.

That's great. Thank you.

Yes, talk to
you soon. Bye.

People like my book, and she
thinks I'm gonna get an offer.

A good one, she said.
What does that mean?

I don't know! I mean,
I would be happy with 25,000,

you know?
Thrilled with 50.

100 would be... too crazy.

I'd never get that, but can you
imagine if I got $50,000?

Oh, and guess what else.
They want to take me to lunches.

Multiple, fancy,

free lunches! Ooh!

(cash register dings)

So, I have
some good news.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, looks like Jane
already called her mom.

What's going on?

I got into a nursing program
in New York,

so we can move there,

if we decide to.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, different news.

That's great.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Is it?

I'm mixed on this whole

Ro-and-Xo-move-to-New-York
thing.

I'm just so mixed
on this whole

move-to-New-York thing.

I know, but at least
one roadblock is removed.

Hmm.
(phone chimes)

Aw.
Mm. (laughs)

So, should we talk
to Jane about it yet?

No. She has enough on her mind
with all the Rose trauma.

I-I don't want to get
into it until we know

if Darci and Esteban are even
willing to move with Baby.

Then we'll know
if we're actually going.

Okay.

Maybe we should try, uh,
Jane's tapping technique.

(footsteps approaching)

Oh, good. You're here.

How was the open house?
Well, there were two clients

that wouldn't really
leave even though they...
That was a courtesy question.

I don't care. Look, Clarissa
and her financial group

love this property
for our first franchise.

The building needs
to be razed,

but what about that view?!

We should go see it ASAP.
When can you travel?
Oh.

Petra, I... I can't, you know,
with Rose out there, and...

Oh. Yeah. No, I get it. I'll go.

Y-You can make
the time up later.

Obviously, there are
so many international hurdles

we'll have to deal with
since it's a British

overseas property,
but we'll chip away at them.

Hopefully, we can close
the deal in 12 months.

Yeah. That sounds great.

You seem overwhelmed.

I am... a little.

Well... I get it.

You're working two jobs.

I know we had our worries
about working together,

but things have been going
really well between us.

So why don't we fully commit
to this partnership? Hmm?

Quit your real estate
agent thing.

Let's go all in.

JANE:
What did you say?

I said, "That makes sense."

The thing is, I'm
torn about quitting.
Why?

There'll be a lot
of stress and travel

and risk involved
with no guaranteed payoff.

I mean, I could
spend years

negotiating the new franchise,

and then nothing
could come of it.

Well, you can't
live in fear

of what's coming
around the corner.

Huh. Well, it looks like

somebody's learned a
thing or two in therapy.

This is your dream.

Go for it. Be brave.

Hey, that's my line.

Well, it's works, and it's true.

Look who's getting
a free lunch tomorrow.

I am so proud of you.

(laughs)
You're gonna kill it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, friends, look at Jane,
ready to kill it,

and by "it,"
I mean that free lunch.
(cell phone buzzing)

Hey, Lily, uh,
I just got to the restaurant.

Oh, wait. I meant to ask you.

Should I order
a glass of wine at lunch,

or is that inappropriate?

Jane, the editor's not coming.

What? Why?

We have a problem.

Uh, what is it? (laughs)

Michael Cordero never
signed away his life rights.

Without his permission,
the book can't be published.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yup.

There's always something
unexpected around the corner.

(sighs)

Michael?
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.

None of us were
expecting that.
Yup.

And if he won't sign over his
life rights, there's no book.

Well, you have to call him
and convince him.

Yeah. I will.

So, I guess I'll just...

call him right now.

I have the number
to the ranch.

Rick?

It's the ranch foreman.

Um, uh, yeah, hi.

I-I'm looking for
Michael-- or Jason.

Michael-Jason.

Oh. Really?

Okay. Thank you.

So, I guess Michael
took off a few days ago.

Rick suggested I try
calling his mom.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Can't the guy just get
a freaking cell phone?

So I'll just... call her now.

Voice mail.
Hmm.

Hi, Patricia. It's Jane.

Uh, can you please
give me a call back

when you have a chance?

Thank you. Hope all is well.

Okay. So, hopefully,
she'll call back,

and then we'll just...
PETRA:
Rafael!

Sounds like
she needs you.

I have to get ready
for my shift anyway.

Krishna! Pull up the preliminary
inspection reports

on the Turks and Caicos property
to show Rafael.

What were you looking at?
Nothing.

I'll remind you
of the Marbella's

"no porn, no TMZ, no Goop"
Internet policy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Whew! I would not last there.

Is that...?

J.R.'s mother?
I'm sorry.

I promise I wasn't stalking
your ex-girlfriend.

That would be creepy.
I just love obits.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
'Cause that's not creepy.

Oh. I guess
J.R. will be in town.

You okay?

Yeah. fine.

Krishna, let's see
those reports.

What's this?
ROGELIO:
All the reasons why

moving to New York would be
incredible for you and Baby.

God, you're a slow reader.
Let me just tell you.

Did you know that New York
has the most single people

per capita
in the entire country?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ooh. I should move there.

And that single women outnumber
single men almost two to one?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Never mind.

Those lonely souls need you
and your matchmaking skills.

Oh...
Also, New York has
the best pizza in the world!

Plus, everyone is rude there,
and you love being rude.

And have I mentioned
Alexandria Ocasio...?

Rogelio, stop.

You do remember
I'm from New York, right?

I would actually

love to move back there.

Really? You would?

But Esteban.
He loves Miami.

The bozo even thinks Miami
pizza's the best in the world.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, Esteban.

Gonna have
to disagree with you.

(ringtone playing)

(gasps)

PATRICIA (over phone):
Hi, Jane.

Hi, Patricia.
Thank you for calling back.

Uh, I didn't mean to bother you,

but I'm trying
to track down Michael.

Do you know where he is?

I do, actually.

MICHAEL (over phone):
Hi, Jane.

Oh, uh, Michael, hi.

I... I didn't know
you were in Florida.

Yeah. I am.

Uh, anyway,
I-I'm sorry to bug you,

but I wanted to talk to you
about my novel.

You probably didn't get it,

but my agent sent over paperwork
for you to sign.

Oh, I got it. I just...

didn't sign it. Um...

I wanted to talk to you
in person.

Which is actually
why I'm in town.

Uh...

So, what do you think?

You have to meet him.

It's your book.
I know, but...

He's making the effort to drive
all the way down here to see me.

I-I'm worried
it's not just about the book.

Well, I obviously don't think
it's about the book, either.

I think he wants
to try to win you back.

But I'm not worried about that.

Good.

Because I love you so much.

I love you, too.
(chuckles)

Now go get those
life rights.

Thank you for understanding.

ROGELIO:
You're welcome.

Someone just got you
a recurring role

on This Is Mars.
You are back, baby!

Biggest acting opportunity
of your life!

No, thanks.

What? Why?

I've decided to quit acting.

I've gotten really
into aromatherapy and Reiki.

I'm committed to
being a spiritual

and physical healer
of bodies and souls.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, so that's why he's dressed
like my yoga teacher.

I have a higher
calling now.

I truly want to help people.

But why help a few scrawny
unwashed vegans

when you can reach millions
of normal people

by entertaining them?

I get great satisfaction

out of my one-on-one
interactions with my clients.

Esteban, please, I will have to
give up on my dream

if you won't move to New York,
because I cannot leave Baby.

I wasn't a part
of Jane's childhood,

and I won't make
that mistake again.

Wow.

What a tremendous gesture
of love.

Baby is truly
blessed to have

a beautiful person for a father.

It was a beautiful plan,
but it backfired.

I don't know what to do
about Esteban now.

He's become a completely
different person.

Then you have to remind him
of who he was,

of what inspired him
to become a telenovela actor

in the first place.

Just think,

what would remind you

of why you love acting?

(gasps)
Me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of telenovelas...

Hi, Jane.

It's so nice to see you.

And Bo.

Nice to see you, too.

Uh...

So, you wanted to talk
about the book in person?

Yeah. Um, we're not
totally okay with it.

You and Bo?

No, uh, me and my fiancée.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
If he's trying
to win Jane back,

this is a weird way to do it.

You're marrying Charlie?

But she hates you.

Yeah, well, not anymore.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Guess it's a shotgun wedding.

(gun fires, clicks)

Wow.

Congratulations.

I am so happy for you guys.

Thanks.

Now, let's talk about this book.
(thuds)

I read it. I don't like it.

Uh, okay. Why?

Why? 'Cause Michael's
all over the damn thing.

We live a quiet life.
We like our privacy.

And frankly, this little book
of yours seems like

it's gonna be
a big headache for us.

So I don't want Michael
signing that paperwork.

Please?

Th-This book means
so much to me,

and I've worked so hard
on it-- uh, for years.

Sorry about that.

You're a writer.
Write another one.

(exhales)

Michael, please?

This is a family decision, Jane,

and I support
whatever Charlie wants.

Well, this damn baby's
sitting on my bladder again.

So, I better

hit the commode,
as y'all like to say down here.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Uh, no one says that.

Please? Okay,
is there anything I can do?

Does she want
more prize chickens?

No. I asked.

Look, I-I feel real
bad, but, you know,

Charlie is my fiancée and
the mother of my child,

and if she's uncomfortable
with all this,

there's nothing I can do.

ROGELIO:
I know you said no,

but I have something
to show you

that might change
your mind about acting.

Rogelio, I have a sound
bath in ten minutes.

I'll be quick.

(dramatic music playing
over computer)

(clears throat)

They're all... me.

(audience oohing)

(cheering)

(steady beeping)

I am an incredible actor.

Yes! I agree.

And you can't throw
all this talent away.

I can, actually.

Why?

Because I've played every part.

And I stuck the landing
in all of them,

not just in
Vault for Your Love.

So, why keep acting?

What else is there?

Great fame in America.

I am about to go
to a premiere party

where my face will be
on every poster,

every wall, every tablecloth.

Reporters will be
taking my picture,

and people will be fainting
when they see me.

And it's going to be
the best feeling in the world!

Funny. I-I can't even imagine
what that feels like.

(gasps)
Which must mean
I've moved on.

JANE:
Okay, well,
here's another idea.

You go through the book,
and any details

you're not comfortable with,
I'll take out.

Well, I'm pretty sure
Charlie's uncomfortable

with all the details that
have anything to do with me.

Michael... (scoffs)
y-you're not being fair.

I'm not being fair?
No, you're not.

Well, I don't exactly want to be
in this position,

'cause I don't want to say no.

Then don't. You know this book
means everything to me.

And Charlie means
everything to me.

Look, when you left,
I was broken.

And Charlie
put me back together again.

I know this
sucks, but,

you know, I have to choose her
and her feelings.

She's my partner.

For life.

CHARLIE:
Oh, baby.

(sighs)

All right.

We'll sign the
damn papers.

Really?

What?

Yes, really. It's fine.

(gasps)
MICHAEL:
Well, wait. Hold on, now.

We-we flew all the
way from Montana

so you could tell Jane
all the things you hated

about the book,
and now you're fine with it?

Michael,
let's take that yes.

I didn't come down here
just for the book.

I wanted to see if...

y'all still had
anything between you.

I mean,

the way you went on about how...

y'all were destined
to be together and how,

when you saw him,
your heart would glow.

Didn't exactly go down
like pickle juice.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Very little does.

I get it.

That was a long time ago.

(sighs softly)

And I do think it was destiny.

Now you're not helping.

But I do.
Everything that's happened,

all the moments
that led to this--

you two finding each other--

it couldn't have happened
any other way.

I really believe that
to be true.

What?
(clears throat)

I asked you once
if you still loved her.

You said, "Yes. Forever."

'Cause of what we had once.

And 'cause she stuck with me
and helped me find myself again.

Which led me to you.

Hmm.

(chuckles)

(Jane sniffling)

Geez, she does cry a lot.

See? I told you.
(chuckles)

(sniffles)
So, we're good?

No issues with privacy
or anything?

Nah. No one I know would
ever read that book anyway.

Huh. Okay, then.
(chuckles)

Oh, but could you just...
leave out

this one part
right...

there?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, friends, she did.

So I will, too.

No problem. It's gone.

Uh... Oh. There's one thing
you got wrong in the book.

Um, Rose isn't 38.

She's 51.
What? No.

She's a plastic surgery
expert, remember?

Wow. Okay.

I will make that change.

Goodbye, Jane.

Goodbye, Michael.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And this time, friends,

it really was goodbye.

RAFAEL:
Don't go.

A funeral is the absolute wrong
place to try to win back an ex.

I wouldn't be trying
to win J.R. back.

I'd just be going
to pay my respects.

If you really want
to be respectful,

then let her mourn
her mother in peace.

Yeah, yeah.
You're right.

So, have you quit
your real estate job?

Not yet.
What? Why?

Well, honestly, because
this project is gonna be a lot.

And I'd need
to be all in.

And I've already
missed dinners with the kids

for the past few weeks,
and I don't want that.

I totally get that.

And I think I have a solution.

Move back in to the Marbella.

Your old penthouse
is vacant right now.

Look, you, Jane, Mateo,
me and the twins.

You'd have your whole family
under one very large roof.

Plus, you'd have zero commute
and never miss a bedtime.

Every night, I get to
put the girls to bed

and then come right back
down here and keep working.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Lucky you.

You're practically
living here already.

Just think about it.

Hey, I know you're busy,

but give me a call back
when you're done.

I have really great news.

Do tell, Jane.

What's the great news?
(exhales sharply)

I got to say, Jane,

I'm a little disappointed.

I was really hoping for Rafael

since he's the one who
got me thrown in jail.

But it's fine.

You'll do.

Aw.

You poor little thing.

Always in the wrong place

at the wrong time, aren't you?

I heard you came
to visit me in prison.

Was there something
you wanted to say?

'Cause I'm all ears.

(breathing shakily)

"After everything
you've done to me.

"Kidnapping my baby.

"Shooting my husband.

"I think you're
the worst person

in the whole wide world!"
(laughs)

(meows)

Aw.

What's wrong?

Cat got your tongue?

Or villain got your cat?

(meows)

What do you w-want from me?

Wh-What do I w-want from you?
(meows)

(sighs)

I'm glad you asked.

I need Luisa to meet me

at your father's
premiere party.

And you're going to help me

get her there.

(breathing shakily)

How?

How? How could I do that?

Very good question, Jane.

I was thinking

you call her up,
and you say something like,

"Ditch the security guards
in Belize,

"hop on Pan Atlantic 7859
to Miami,

"and meet us at the party,

"or Rose will kill
someone you love.

"And if you tell anyone
Rose is holding me hostage,

Rose will kill
someone else you love."

Yeah, that should work.

Have you got it,
or do you want to practice?

P-Please. Please, you
don't have to do this.

Pick up the phone and call!

(phone beeps)

LUISA:
Hi. It's Luisa.
It's her voice mail.

Sorry I missed you.
Leave me a message,

and I'll get back to you
when I can.
Leave a message.

(phone beeps)

Hi, Luisa. It's Jane.

Rose is holding me hostage,

and she said that if you
don't get on flight...

Pan Atlantic 7859.

...Pan Atlantic 7859 to Miami

and meet her at my father's
premiere party, sh...

she'll kill someone you love.

And...?

And if you tell
anyone about this,

she'll kill another
person that you love.

Please, call us back.

(phone beeps)
Aw.

Let's hope she does.

It would sure be a shame
for someone

to have to die
over an unreturned phone call.

God, Mateo's
gotten so big.

I haven't
seen him since...

Oh, well, you remember,
of course.

(crying):
Please, please.

(ringtone playing)

(stammering):
It's an unknown number.

It could be her.

Put it on speaker.

(phone beeps)

Hello?

LILY:
Jane, it's Lily.

Oh. Hi.

I just got off the phone
with Little, Brown.

They love your book.

They're offering you 25,000.

Oh, wow.

Wow, that's great.

Everything okay?

Yeah, just... processing.

Well, process quickly,
because they need an answer.

So, what do you want to do?
Do you want to accept the offer,

or do you want to roll the dice
and hold out for a better one?

Here's the kicker: if you wait,

Little, Brown could pull their
offer, and there's no guarantee

that another publisher
is gonna step up and...

We're willing to take that risk.

This is Jane Villanueva's
attorney.

Call us back
when there's a real offer.

(phone beeps)

We have to keep the line open.

Honestly, Jane,

I just skimmed
your book,

but I found it very compelling.

I'm flattered that you made me
such a big character.

Do you really think
I'm an icy beauty?

That was a compliment, Jane.

You could crack a smile.

(manuscript thuds)

(Rose whistling a tune)

Have some water.
You look parched.

(breathing shakily)

(ringtone playing)

It's Rafael. He was supposed to
meet me here before the party.

Tell him to meet you there.

And, Jane,

if you alert him in any way

or give him any kind
of secret code,

I will kill Mateo.

Hey, Raf.

RAFAEL:
Guess where I am.

My old penthouse.

Oh. (chuckles) What for?

Petra offered
to let us move back in.

And standing here, I'm just...

I'm having
the most intense feeling.

About where we started,
where we are now.

Uh, wow, yeah.

Well, it's definitely something
we should talk about,

but can we do it later?

Are you okay?

You sound a little off.

Y-Yeah, it's all good.
I'm just busy

trying to get ready
for the party. (chuckles)

Uh, let's meet there, okay?

What?

Why? I'm wrapping up here.

I'll be home in... 30 minutes.

No, don't come home!

Why? What's going on?

I'm just planning something
for you

for the wedding,
and you can't see it.

Oh. Sorry.

But now I kind of want to know
what it is.

Yeah. Bye. Love you.

Ah! Okay.

Okay, I'll see you at the party.

See you at the party.

Well done, you
pretty little liar.

Why are you doing this?

Luisa doesn't want to
be with you anymore.

That's because you all
have poisoned her against me.

No, it's...

it's because
she doesn't love you anymore.

She does love me.

She doesn't.

And I know it's
hard and painful,

but people fall
out of love.

Michael and I did.

This is different.
How?

Because this isn't
your love story, Jane.

It's mine.

(ringtone playing)

It's her.

(phone beeps)

Hi, beautiful.

I take it you got my message?

LUISA:
I'll do whatever you want, Rose.

Just don't hurt anybody.

I'm on my way to the airport
right now.

Fantastic.
(phone beeps)

Yay! We're going to a party.

Should we get dressed?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wow, they really know

how to commit to a theme
and run with it.

There he is, there he is!

(reporters clamoring)
Esteban, wow!

Over here, Esteban!
Look over here!

Over here!

Yes, Esteban!
Take one photo.

Esteban. Fantastic.
Esteban.

Over here, Esteban!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Esteban sure is

working those Estebuns.

(laughs, sighs)

That's weird.

I still haven't heard from Jane.
She should be here by now.

REPORTER:
Come on, get out of the way!
Damn it!

Those aliens are
in his shot.

Move! Move!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Alas, friends,

those aren't just any aliens.

(whimpers softly)

Looking good, guys.

ROSE:
Grab a tray.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know Jane's had
some stressful days

as a waitress, but this
definitely takes the cake.

Don't worry. Once
Luisa meets us,

you can enjoy
the festivities.

Wait!
(Latin Lover Narrator gasps)

Does Alba know it's Jane?

May I have a drink?

Let's go.

Where's Jane?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She's right over there!

Somebody help her!

I don't know.

Thought she'd be here
by now. Maybe...

maybe she's running late.

She said she was planning
some big surprise for me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Look right, Rafael!

Hey, so what'd you decide
about the funeral?

I sent flowers and a note
to J.R. You were right.

I didn't want to go
for the right reasons.

I'm sorry.

But you know
you'll fall in love again.

It's only a matter of time.

Maybe.

Or maybe I'm just not meant
to couple up.

Maybe it's not my destiny.

I have a great life
without a partner.

And honestly,
the Marbella satisfies me

in a way I don't think
a lover ever could.

I am so glad we got divorced.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And I'm so glad
this conversation is over,

because Jane is in danger!

Come on, Rafael.

If anyone is going to realize

it's Jane inside that costume,
it's her true love.

So...

did you think about moving in
to the Marbella?

Um... I did, actually.

ROSE:
What are you doing?

It's hard for me
to move fast

with this tray
of drinks.

WOMAN:
Help! Save me!

Somebody save me!

On Mars, no one
can hear you scream.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ooh, smart! A secret signal.

He can't hear you,
but he can see you.

ROSE:
What are you doing?

Why are you slowing down?

Sorry, this costume's heavy.

(groans)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, no.

Where is she taking her?

Think of something, Jane!

Wow. You move fast
for a 51-year-old.

What did you say?

No, I'm just impressed.
That's all.

I am not 51.

That's ridiculous.

That better not
be in your book.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Did he see her?
He's so far away,

and it's so dark up here.
I can't tell.

Esteban Santiago,
you were a red carpet dynamo!

Wasn't it amazing?
It really was.

For the first
time in my life,

I felt like the star
I was born to be.

So you'll come to New York?
No.

What do you mean, "No"?

Tonight was great, which clearly
you had something to do with.

(muffled snort)
But it wouldn't feel
like this in New York.

This kind of
treatment is reserved

for the stars of the show.

I'd just be a measly
recurring character.

It's not like I'd be
the lead or the villain.

You want to be the villain?
You can be the villain.

You're already the villain
in my life, so it's perfect.

No. Forget it.
It was a bad idea.

America will hate me.

But they will love
to hate you, like I do.

And all telenovelas
need villains.

You'll have an incredible arc

with huge twists and turns
all leading up

to our epic confrontation

with both our lives
hanging in the balance.

Huh. If Luisa doesn't show up,

you're gonna have plenty
of room on your side

of the wedding aisle.
You know, I think I'll take

your daddy out first.
Shut the hell up, Rose.

Just shut the hell up!

You know what?
I'm not scared

of you anymore.
I'm just freaking sick of you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Jane, stop!

You're going
to get yourself killed.

I tell my son every night

that monsters aren't real.

But they are.
I'm looking at one.

But you'll never win.

So, wait. We are gonna do
the speech now?

Because you know
what else I tell him?

Good always triumphs over evil.

You're right, sweetheart.

I am evil, and I'm about to...

(both grunting)
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes.

Classic telenovela move:
distract the villain

to buy more time.

Run! Go!

One more step, and Jane is dead.

You know,
now that Rafael is here,

I don't really
need two hostages.

So you're disposable.

Oh, Jane, cheer up.

You'll probably sell
more books this way.

LUISA:
Let them go!

I won't go anywhere with you
if you touch them.

ROSE:
No problem.

I knew you'd come.

I told you.

Ours is the greatest

love story ever told.

It might be.

But it ends now.

What?
(panting)

Wh-What is that?
Cyanide.

My family will never be safe

until I'm gone.

No, Luisa! Don't.

(both grunting)

(gasps loudly)

(sighs)
No!

(sighs) Goodbye, Rose.

Was that a...

Tic Tac?

Wintergreen.

(screaming)

You're in
for the most spectacular show

you've ever seen!

(crowd gasps)

(applause and cheering)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
OMG. I hope that killed her.

Oh! Fire! (yells)

Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Well, that definitely did.

our heroine

finally vanquished our villain.

How are you feeling, Janie?

Relieved. And guilty
for feeling that way.

No way. Remember
how we all cheered

when Catalina Creel died?

(sighing):
Yeah. I am.

(ringtone plays)

My agent.

Hey, Lily. Uh, look,
about yesterday...

No, no.

I heard your lawyer
loud and clear.

Didn't quite need
her attitude.

Yeah, sorry about
that. I fired her.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Literally.

The point is,
I turned down the 25 K.

I thought about it,
and the only way

to get what you want is
to put the book up for auction.

I've asked for first offers
by 3:00 p.m. today.

Oh, wow.
Uh, but isn't that, uh...?

Risky? Yes.

So I want to prepare you.
We could get a lot of bids,

or we could get none at all.

But you said
you want to roll the dice,

so be by your phone at 3:00 p.m.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Everything okay?

I just hope Rose
didn't ruin my one chance

at selling my book.

You would have taken
the 25,000?

No, I wouldn't have.

But it'd be easier to blame
Rose if it doesn't sell.

So...

have-have you made
your decision?

Yes, he has.

I will take the part of
the incredibly handsome villain,

and Darci, Baby and I
will move to New York.

Yes.

(laughing):
Yes!

Oh, my God!

You won't regret this.

I promise you won't. Thank you.

(screaming)
(laughing)

You did it, Smush!
Yeah!

I knew you could get a
giant part on his show!

I know! How great an actor am I?

I mean, the Reiki?
A higher calling than acting?

(laughs)

Put on your spacesuit, Mush.
We're going to Mars!

Oh!
Ah! Mmm!

It's from India.

I hope you like it.

Thank you... for
saving our lives.

Oh... (scoffs)

It was...
it was no big deal. I...

I couldn't let anything happen
to you before your big day.

We'd... really like you
to be there, actually.

What?

Come to our wedding.

Please?

I would love that.

Thank you.

(sniffles)
Oh, my God.

Have you thought
about the honeymoon?

Because one benefit
of hiding out

with an international
crime lord--

you had to know a lot
of secluded spots.

Oh, I don't think
we'll honeymoon.

Raf is so busy with work
at the Marbella.

Well, actually,
I quit last night.

What? I thought
the Marbella was your dream.

It was, but like
I told Petra,

my dream has changed.

I want time with my family.

So, I'm gonna keep
my real estate job,

and we'll save, buy a
little house down the line.

(laughs)

Yeah?

And you're okay with that?

A... a little house?

A smaller life?

Doesn't feel smaller at all.

(crying): Oh, my God, Raf,
you've grown up so much.

(laughs)
Aw.

I...
(laughs)

I can't wait
for your wedding, you guys.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Me, neither, but before
we get to the wedding,

we have front-row seats
at an auction.

Ah, what if nobody bids?

Uh, what if
my book doesn't sell?

Just take a deep breath.

It's gonna be okay.

(phone chimes)

First offer came in.

10,000.

Okay. Uh, we got one.

(sighs)
Hey.

10,000-- it's nothing
to sneeze at.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She turned down 25.

(phone chimes)

20,000.

Okay, we're
in the game.

(phone chimes)

30! Oh, uh, thank you,

faceless publisher,
whoever you are.

Now I don't feel like
such an idiot

for not taking that 25.
Fist bump on that.

Yup.
(phone chimes)

40.
(phone chimes)

50. OMG, Rafael. 50!

(ringtone playing)

Uh, it's Lily. Yeah.
Okay.

Hey, uh, everything okay?

Yep. I just wanted
to tell you this one live.

We're at 100,000, Jane.
Got to go.
Thank you.

100. (laughs)

One hundred...

thousand... dollars!

(squealing excitedly)

(phone chimes)

Oh.
Oh.

(phone chiming)

(rapid chiming,
ringtone playing)

Oh. I got it, got it,
got it, got it, got it.
Okay.

LILY:
Jane?

Uh, yes. Hi. Yes.

The auction's over.

We got your final offer.

Uh, how much is it?

500.

Five... hundred...

thousand.

You did it, Jane.

You did this.

(laughs)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And sometimes, friends,

the unexpected can be magical.

So much for a small life.

Screw that. We're rich!

(screams, giggles)
Ah!

Can you believe it?!
That's our girl!

(laughing)

(crying)

Xiomara, this is good news.

I know. It's just...

we're not gonna be heree
when the first check comes

or when the book
is published.

It's finally hitting me.

We're leaving Miami
and moving away from our family.

How do we say goodbye?

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