All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 07x04 - Thats for Me to Know.

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidant

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ Thank you
for being a friend ♪

Morning, Rose, Dorothy.
Hi.

What a night.

Did you hear that
racket out front?

I didn't sleep at all.

I think Dreyfuss has the
hots for our lawn flamingo.

Ma, we don't have
a lawn flamingo.

In that case,
we'd better tip the paperboy.

What's with the photo albums?

Oh, I'm doing a family history.

And I'm gonna need your help.

You know, I think
it's important to tell

the grandchildren
about their ancestors.

Give them a sense of pride
in those who came before them.

Even Uncle Nunzio?

Even Uncle Nunzio,

but we call the goat a pet.

Anyway, Ma, I want you
to drag out anything

that'll jog your memory
about the old days.

You know,
people in St. Olaf are lucky.

We all had
the same family tree.

You can trace each of us back
to the same brother and sister.

Well, I think
that completes the puzzle.

Wait a second.

Why are you asking me
questions about our family?

Uh-oh.

I'm gonna die.

You talked to my doctor.
I'm gonna die.

Ma, the doctor says
you're healthy as a horse.

Well, actually, the doctor
in our pre-paid health plan

says you're healthy as a camel.

I assume in his country
it's the same as a horse.

You know, Dorothy,
for an extra $5,

we can get a doctor who sees
patients one at a time.

Wonderful news.

The contractor says he can start
building the hot tub tomorrow.

Oh, this is so exciting.

So, Blanche,
you must be paying extra

to get a building
permit that quickly.

Hey, I'll tell you one thing,

the damn government isn't gonna
see one red cent of my money.

But, Blanche, the city
requires a permit

on any new home construction
built within five feet

of a standing structure
used as a primary dwelling.

Rose, all this
technical information,

it doesn't sound like you.

And if Blanche doesn't
get that permit,

I think they could make her
live in a shoe.

Welcome back, sweetheart.

It all happened so fast.

He grabbed her.
She bit him.

He stuffed her in his
calamari wagon and sped away.

And that, dear grandchildren,
is how my parents met.

How romantic,
a roll in the squid.

May I remind you,
the purpose of these stories

is to give the kids
family pride.

Hey, I'll have you know
it was my father

who single-handedly
invented the ransom note.

If you're not gonna
take this seriously,

I'm just gonna do
the history by myself.

Hey, keep away from that.
What are you...

What's in the box?

Mexican jumping beans.

Ma.

Sorry, Hispanic jumping beans.

You don't want
me to know, fine.

I wouldn't dream of
infringing on your privacy.

Look, Rudy Vallee!

Where? Where?

Dorothy, I'm gonna give you till the
count of three to give me back that box.

One...

By the way,
your reflexes are a joke.

Dorothy,

guess what I have
under my robe?

That guy from the circus?

No, Dorothy, my new swimsuit.

I'm wearing it to entice
the muscular young men

who are coming over
to install my hot tub.

Would you like to see it?

Is it a two-piece?

Yes.
No.

Oh, this is just so exciting.

I love construction workers.

Good with their hands,
dumb as stumps,

and don't mind showing their
buns when they bend over.

Hey, look what I found.

The box!

Rose, where did you get it?

Oh, I was just under my bed
playing, and then there it was.

Do you know whose it is?

Oh, Rose.

Oh, Rose, how can I look
at that face and lie?

It's mine.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Hi, I'm Don Benson.
I'm here about the hot tub.

Oh, my goodness,
word does travel fast.

It's not in yet, Don.

Oh, no,
I'm not here to soak in it.

I'm a city inspector.

You can't come in here.

This house has been
quarantined.

We all have, uh...

Quick, Rose,
give me a deadly disease.

Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche.
I don't have a deadly disease.

Well, get one.

Yeah.
I'm sorry.

Well, we're off to a bad start.

Won't you come in?

May I help you?

Yeah, I got a call
from a Lois Nylund.

Oh, that's Rose Nylund.

Rose, as in a series of seats
in a movie theater.

Or the flower?

Well, yeah, that, too.

Rose, can I see you
in the kitchen?

I don't know.
Why don't you go in and find out?

Get in there! Go, go!

Excuse us.

I ought to have you
horsewhipped.

I haven't even
opened the damn box!

I'm-- I'm sorry.

I cannot believe
you called the city

after I specifically
asked you not to.

Well, I couldn't just sit
there and be party to a lie.

Oh, Rose, come on.
There're times it's all right to lie.

Dorothy will back me up on this.
Right, Dorothy?

No, it is not right to lie.
Anybody got a bobby pin?

Look, Rose, I have calculated
the cost of this hot tub

right down to the last penny.

I cannot afford
any useless permits.

Now, if he insists
I have to have them,

it's gonna be on your head.
Period!

Well, I can't believe
she said that.

Exclamation point.

Well, who's to say?

Question mark, new paragraph...

What the hell am I saying?

Rose.

Rose, this isn't my box,
it's my mother's.

I was gonna open it,
but I can't.

Dorothy, I'm proud of you.

I can't with a bobby pin,
maybe with a butter knife.

Rose, you're off the hook.

Don just made a quick, five-minute
inspection and guess what?

The permit's only $40.

You were right
about tellin' the truth.

Oh, well, if there's one thing
I'm good at, it's citizenship.

That and guessing
the weight of brood sows.

Shut up.

135.

Well, it's just nice to know
there's still people out there

who don't think
the city's out to get them.

Somebody moving in?
Oh, hardly.

With the three of us
renting from Blanche,

we're practically sleeping
on top of each other.

Oh, you can't do that.

Well, we all wear pajamas.

No, I mean you can't rent
to more than two people

unless you have
a boarding license.

Oh. Oh, well,
what the hey?

Put it on my bill.
What is it, another $40?

Well, the permit's $80.

Oh, well, that's not so bad.

But the improvements
you'll have to make

will run you about $10,000.

$10,000?

I can't afford that.

Not even if I use up
all my hot tub money.

Well, I guess you'll just
have to lose a renter.

Hey, you got 48 hours.

For... Hey, uh, Don, wait!

All right, I'm gonna catch him,

but you're gonna
sleep with him.

Rose. Rose, you're not going to
believe what I found in that box.

Look at this photo.

Oh, it's Sophia
as a young bride.

Yeah, but that's not my father.

Ma was married to someone
else before she married Pop,

and she never told me.

I mean, she lied to me.

I don't know this woman.

I--I don't know
my own mother.

Ah, here you are, Ma.

I still have a couple of questions
about our family history,

if that's okay.

Fine. As long as you don't
ask me about the box.

The box? What box? Oh!

It completely slipped my mind.

Oh, yeah.

That kind of thing
happens to me all the...

All the...

All the shrimp you can eat.

Nice try, Ma.

Let's talk about 1920.

Bad year. Now, 1918...

I said 1920.

Okay, 1920 it is.

The year I sailed for America.

Ah, America.

The land of opportunity, where the
streets were paved with gold,

and a young man
named Irving Berlin

was writing songs like this.

Hit it.

Dorothy,
where's our piano player?

Ma, get back on the track.

1920.

Did you date much?

Not really.

Then what about this picture
of you in a wedding gown

with someone
who is identified as Guido?

Oh, World's Fair,

at the "Have your picture
taken with a Guido" booth.

Ma, you were married
to somebody else.

I have a right
to know about it.

Wrong.

There are some things a daughter
should not know about her mother.

You're always sticking your nose
in where it doesn't belong.

Just like that old dog
Sandy we used to have.

God, your father
loved that dog.

Can you believe that?

After I've bared my heart
and soul to that woman.

Oh, Dorothy, you hide things
from her all the time.

Yeah, but she doesn't
know that.

I am the smartest woman
in the whole world.

And I am the Pygmy queen.

No, wait a minute.

Blanche, what would you say
if I got a permit

that would let you have as many
people stay here as you want?

What? Oh, that's terrific.

(SIGHS) Rose,

this says I'm going to turn
my home into a halfway house

for recently
released criminals.

Yes, Rose, you are the
smartest person in the world.

Burger World.

Rose, if I use this permit,

any kind of scum could
walk through the door.

Thieves, murderers,

men who haven't seen
a woman for 10 years,

who've been doin' nothin' but liftin'
weights and countin' the days.

Dorothy, remind me again
why this was a bad idea.

Oh, Blanche, be serious.

Now, if we want
to stay together,

we're gonna have
to raise $10,000.

Well, I don't see why I should
have to raise any money.

I didn't create this problem.

I think the moronic Scandinavian
nitwit ought to pay it.

She's talking about me,
isn't she?

No, Rose, she's talking
about Spike Lee.

Well, don't get
smart with me, Dorothy,

just because
you're out $10,000.

Me?
Well, face facts.

I mean, we were
already roommates

when you brought
your mother in.

So either pay up,
or Sophia should move out.

Oh, thank you very much,

but if anybody is going to put
my mother out in the cold,

it's going to be me.

No, Rose, forget it.

She did sort of just dump the
old lady on us, didn't she?

Oh, now you're buddy-buddy with
the moronic Scandinavian nitwit?

Jealous, are we?

Fine. Fine.

I try to come up
with a solution,

the two of you don't
even try to help.

Fine.
Just count me out of this.

Well, fine.
Just count me out of it.

Fine. But it's your funeral.

Nice try, Dorothy,

but she'd probably need
a permit for that, too.

Oh, here you are.

All right, Rose, I have
something to say to you now,

and I want you
to pay attention.

Listen to me, honey...
Oh, Blanche, I'm sorry.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry, too.

Oh, no, but I'm really sorry.

Oh, girls, I am so sorry.

No, we're the ones
that are sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, sweetie, get over here.

We're sorry, too.

Yes, we are. We're really sorry.
It's our fault, too.

Hey, how were you
supposed to know

I had an accident in the hall.

Hey, why were you guys sorry?

Oh, well,
this isn't solving anything.

This whole thing was my fault.

I'm gonna be responsible.
I'll move out.

Rose, you are not
going to move out.

Well, somebody has to.
How else are we gonna choose?

We could do
what they do in Russia.

We could vote.

Here, it's the only fair way.

I would just like the panel to disregard
that accident-in-the-hall thing.

All right, everybody, just write
down who you think ought to leave.

Well, you know
this is a waste of time.

I'm just gonna
write down myself.

Don't tell us that.

Yeah, maybe we should do this.
It's the fairest way.

All right, but it's just
gonna end up being me.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

Good luck, ladies.

Dorothy.

(SIGHS)

Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Well, that's that.
Let's eat. I'm starved.

Wait a minute.
How did this happen?

We all voted for you.

Well, Dorothy,
it's your own damn fault.

Why did you have
to vote for yourself?

I just assumed that everyone
was gonna vote for Rose,

and I--I didn't want a sweep
to hurt her feelings.

I guess that would hurt.

It does!

Oh, no.

No, wait, I cannot
allow this to happen.

Now, this whole thing
was my fault.

I am the one who must go.

No! Nobody is gonna
go anywhere.

Now, there's gotta be
another way.

Well, what choice do we have?
I mean...

Oh, I'll miss you,
and you know I love you.

But it's the only way.

I'll just have to find
some other place to rent.

Oh, would you stop saying that.

Hey, wait a minute.

The city says you can't have
three renters, but what if...

What if we're
all co-owners?

Co-owners?

Yeah. You sell us each
a share of the house

and we pay you every month,
like we always have,

but instead of paying rent,
we'll be paying the mortgage.

I tell you what.

Why don't we just forget
all about the mortgage,

and I'll just give you
all the house as a present?

Yeah! Then I'll just buy all your
clothes, pay for all your food,

set up trust funds
for all your grandchildren.

Throw in a piano player,
you got yourself a deal.

Like hell! This is my home
we're talking about here.

And it's more than a home.
It's memories.

Dorothy, this is where
I lived with my husband.

It's-- It's my past,

and it's my future.

As I move on towards middle
age, it's all I have.

You're right, Blanche,
it's a lot to ask.

I'm sorry, but it really is.

I just could never sell it.

Not even to you all.

(SIGHS)

I know what you're
gonna say, Dorothy,

you can't stand to see me go.
But I've made up my mind.

Rose, listen...
Now you're going to tell me,

"I'll miss you.
God, how I'll miss you."

Rose, you have to listen to me.

"You know, Rosie,"
you're thinking.

"I sure could use one last St.
Olaf story before you leave."

And then I'd ask,

"Shall I tell you about
how the St. Olafians

"were one of the original
lost tribes of Israel?"

Taxi!

I knew you were gonna say that.

Look, Rose, sit down.

Now, you are not
going to leave.

Rose, we need you here.
Really.

You're too important here!

Okay, that's not believable.

We love you.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

So, who's leaving?

Oh, we were just
discussing that, Mr. Benson.

I'm afraid that
no one's leaving.

You see, we're a family here.

Well, not the conventional one,

but we love each other and...

Excuse me, snoop.

Liar.
Rhino.

Lizard.

It's real love, Mr. Benson.

It's an honest love.

And, yes, we might have secrets

that we stubbornly try
to hide from each other...

Python.
Swamp insect.

But we're a family nonetheless,

and you can't break us up.

Well, as moving as all
this is, I can't help you.

I gotta file my report,

and either Mrs. Devereaux has
to bring the house up to code,

or somebody's gotta leave.

Wait just a minute.
These women no longer live in my house.

Blanche, what are you saying?

I'm saying that it's not
just my house anymore.

It's our house.

I've decided to share
the title with you.

We'll sign the deed tomorrow.

That way you'll have equity
and nobody can make you leave.

By golly, you got me.

Say, Don, why don't you drop
back by after the hot tub's in.

Ooh.

Land. I'm a landowner.
I've made it.

And it only took 80 years.

Finally, property.
I'll be planting soon.

Ma.

Oh, Blanche, this was so generous of you.
I'm so touched.

Well, you know,
I just got to thinkin'.

Yeah, this house was
the home of my family.

But you're right, you're family now.
DOROTHY: Yeah.

So, now it's our home.

Rabbits.

Gonna raise me some rabbits
as big as your head.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Ma, we have to talk.

I think it's time
we settled this.

Get off my property.

Ma, that's enough.

Now, look, Ma,
this isn't our relationship.

Not talking to each other.

Ma, I'm sure
you had your reasons,

but it can't have
felt good hiding

this man from me
all these years.

Well, no.

Then unburden yourself, Ma.

Not just to your daughter,
but to your friend.

Here goes.

The man you saw in that
picture was Guido Spirelli.

He was my first husband
through an arranged marriage,

which I had later annulled.

And?

And I shot him just to watch him die.
What do you mean, "And?"

I mean, that's all?
That's all you're gonna tell me about it?

We were promised to each
other when we were nine.

By most Sicilian standards,

he was considered
quite a catch.

And he was supposed to
inherit the family business.

Oh, what was
the family business?

Getting even.

So, what was the problem?
What, you didn't love him?

No, he was a workaholic.

I had the marriage annulled,

and two days after it was
official, I left for America.

Ma, why couldn't you
tell me this?

Dorothy, I went against
centuries of tradition.

You don't leave
an arranged marriage.

I disgraced my family's
entire way of life.

I think I'm finally
beginning to see.

Good.

Then you'll have the decency to
lie if anyone asks you about it.

Of course not, Ma.
It all has to go in the family history.

Don't do this, Dorothy.
Don't do something we'll both regret.

I have to, Ma.

In 1920, your great-grandmother,
Sophia Petrillo,

became a pioneer in the
women's rights movement.

She single-handedly dragged her
family into the 20th century

by refusing to be
thought of as property

and demanding instead
to marry a man she loved.

To do so, she had to leave behind
everything she'd ever known.

And that is the kind
of courage and strength

that flows through your veins.

Pussycat?

Yeah, Ma?

You make me very proud.

No, Ma, you make me proud.

I hope you're not
waiting for a hug.

Oh, come here, you tramp.