All language subtitles for Puppy.Swap.Love.Unleashed.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

[barking]

Hey, sweetie. Come on.

Come on, darling.

Yeah, I got good news
and bad news, honey.

Somebody wants to adopt you.

[whining]

I'm sorry, guys.
I tried, I really did.

But he just wants
one dog, yeah.

Okay?
Shall we go see him?

Say bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

There you go.
That's a good puppy.
There we go.

[puppy 1] Hey!
Where you taking my sister?

-[woman] Okay.
-[puppy 2] What about Haley?
I can't leave without her.

-Haley!
-Lindsay!

[woman] Good baby.

-[puppy whining]
-Good baby. Come on.

[Haley] Don't worry.
I'll break out of this pen
and find you. I promise.

What am I supposed to do now?

Oh, I'm gonna be so lonely.

Well, you know this,
but these guys are all rescues.

I think they know
they've been given

a second chance in life,
don't you?

I think so.

Dogs are so much smarter
than people think.

In fact, in my opinion,
dogs are smarter
than people, period.

[laughing]
I have to agree.

-So, the real reason
why I'm here...
-Yeah.

...is that it is

our one-year anniversary
with my boyfriend,

and I wanted a special gift.

Are you still
going out with Mel?

Mm-hmm. [chuckles]

Wonderful!
Wonderful, wonderful.

-Well, he's always wanted a dog,
so, I thought, maybe a puppy?
-Right.

A puppy?

Oh.

You know,
this is your lucky day.

I have exactly what you want.

Come here. Look.

Oh, my goodness!

-[dog barking]
-[laughs]

It's so cute!

Who is this tiny little one?

So, that's Haley.

-Aw.
-That's Haley.

She's a little sad.

She lost her sister today.

-Oh, no. What happened?
-[whining]

Oh, not what you think.
Um...

Her sister got adopted,
but she's very lonely.

And she'll grow.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Aw. Well, Haley,
what do you say?

If I take you home,
you won't be so lonely anymore?
Huh?

-Oh, my goodness.
-Perfect! A perfect match!
[chuckles]

Aw. She's so cute!

-[dogs barking]
-Phew.

[dishes clattering]

[clattering continues]

Mel, are you sure
you don't need
my help in there?

[Mel] No. No, no.

I've got--
got everything under control.

You just-- you stay there.

-[Haley whining] Oh,
let me out of this box!
-Hey. Shh.

[rattling]

All right.
Soon enough, okay?

-Dinner is served, my lady.
-Oh, wow.

-You did all this?
-Cowboys can cook too.

Just takes the proper planning
and preparation.

-Hmm.
-Nothing but the best
for the best.

Well, aren't you
just full of surprises.

[sighs] You have no idea.

[chuckles]

[doorbell rings]

Were you--
were you expecting someone?

No.

Hello, sir. It's me again.
I'm so sorry.

I forgot to deliver
the mashed potatoes.

My apologies.
They were still in the van.

-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

Oh, by the way, sir, uh,
you forgot to leave a tip.

So, all that...

preparation and planning.

-[Mel sighs]
-[laughs]

I totally ruined the meat loaf.
It was a disaster.

-Oh.
-It would make a good doorstop,

but it wasn't going to be
a good anniversary dinner.

Hey, come on. It's okay.

You know that I like takeout.

Besides, it's not about
the cuisine.
It's about the company.

-Oh, God. I love you.
-[laughs]

Yeah, I kinda figured that.

It's me and you
against the world, right?

I mean, come on. The world
doesn't stand a chance.

[laughs]

But what if
it was three of us?

What, you're not--

[whining]

Happy anniversary!

[Haley]
Pleased to meet you, handsome.

You got me a puppy?

I did! Her name is Haley.

-Oh...
-[laughs]

She's... um...

Wait, what's wrong?
I thought that you said
you wanted a dog.

No, and it's--
[sighs] Yes, but--

One second.
[clears throat]

-Just-- Stay there.
-Okay.

Hey, little girl.

Oh, no, no, no.
He just ordered that.

-No, he just ordered that.
-[Haley] So good.

You can't do that. Come on.
[chuckles]

Happy anniversary.

[giggling] Oh, my goodness.

-You didn't!
-Yeah.

-That is Lindsay. [chuckles]
-No.

Let me guess. Aw...
Animal shelter?

-Delilah Higgins.
-[chuckles]

Yeah. Okay, okay.

Oh...

[Haley] I found you.
I told you I would.

[Lindsay] Okay, okay.
Don't make a scene.

[Haley]
What are you talking about?
I make every scene.

[Lindsay] Catch me if you can!

Oh, wow.

Two new additions.

Hopefully we didn't bite off

more than we can chew.

[laughs]
Speaking of chew,

looks like one of them
just found a new chew toy.

[Lindsay] This smells so good.

This is mine now.

Hey. Those are
my favorite sweat socks.

-[chuckles]
-[Mel sighs]

Well,
let the compromises begin.

Welcome to family life.

[Haley] Hey, give that back!
I found it first!

Well, then...

we should
make this official.

-Oh, my God.
-[Mel] Jessica Reynolds?

-Will you marry me?
-[gasps]

Is this for real?

You want me
to get the ring certified?

-Yes, yes!
-Okay, fine.
I'll get the ring certified.

No! No. Yes, yes, yes.

I'll marry you.

[grunting]

[Lindsay] I'll get it.
I'll get it.

I'm so hungry.

-Oh, no, no!
-No, no, no!

[Lindsay] Mmm.

-[dogs barking]
-[door opens]

[laughing] Well,
they're gonna be okay.

That's the good news.
Now we just have to wait
until they evacuate.

Poop. We have to wait
for them to poop.

What kind of ring was this?

An engagement ring.

Oh, yes!
Congratulations!

Did you know
that I've been ordained
in the universal church?

That's good to know.

[Delilah]
Just a little reminder.

I'm gonna go
check on them, okay?

Hey, guys! Did you poop yet?

Oh, Mel.

Listen.

Despite this little snafu,

today is the best day
of my life.

Worst day of my life!

So, that's it, huh?
You're just gonna leave?

-There's nothing else
to talk about.
-Yeah, you know,

-'cause I thought we had
something special.
-Well, so did I!

But if you're not
willing to support
my career decisions--

Moving to Los Angeles
is ridiculous.

Okay, you can
put on makeup here.

[scoffs] Working for
the largest cosmetic company
in the world

is not just putting on makeup.

You think that my career
is just some sort of hobby.

Your dream of having
some woman cook and clean

and take care of you
is delusional.

So, what, I'm supposed
to sell my parents' ranch, huh?

Give up my entire life
and move with you
to Los Angeles,

the black hole of depravity?

Tell me
what you really think.

[Lindsay] Hey.
What's going on?

This isn't fair. We are family.

We're supposed to stay togethe.

You know what? Fine.

Go ahead. Go. See if I care.

You can take back
your poop ring.

You want
Lindsay's sweat socks?

No, no. You know what?
She can keep that.

You know where I'll be.

You know where I'll be.

Goodbye, Mel.

[door closes,
engine starts]

Goodbye, Jess.

[Lindsay whining]

Hey. Don't worry, Lindsay.

We'll find a new home,
no matter how.

You'll see.

Uh, Jessica,
could you please
come to my office?

Yes, Powers.

[Lindsay] Powers calls,
you go running.

[Lindsay barks]

Um... Powers?

-Do you know what time it is?
-10:34.

Let me rephrase that.

Can you guess
what time it is?

10:34.

No. It is time to celebrate.
[laughs]

-I'll get it. Just-- We're gonna
celebrate this. Watch.
-What?

Argh. Ooh,
it's celebration time,
watch it!

Whee-hee! Whoo!

-[cork pops]
-[Lindsay] Hey, watch it!

-Uh...
-Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Okay. What are we celebrating?

Your new scent, Xtraordinar,

has just been approved
to go to market. [laughs]

That's amazing.
Lindsay, did you hear that-- Oh!

-[Lindsay] Be careful!
-Oh, I'm so sorry.

Let me just clean that up.
Just one...

Never apologize.
It's a sign of weakness.

And please,
we pay people to do that.

They clean, we celebrate.

Oh. Wow, uh,
so it was already approved?

With flying scents.

I told you,

with my management prowess,

you are on the road to success
in no time.

And no time is now time.

Morphascent Cosmetics
is going to send you

on a nationwide publicity tour
to launch Xtraordinar,

the androgynous scent
for men and women.

[Lindsay] What's this
about a tour?

You know I have
abandonment issues.

A toast,
to the most beautiful,
hardworking,

and soon to make me the rich--
happiest husband
on planet Earth.

Oh...

Lipstick.

Uh...

I'm sorry, isn't this all
just going a little bit fast?

Poppycock. You've been
working on this
for four long years.

All I did was
just grease the wheels a little,
make them spin faster. Leonard.

I heard my name.

-[Lindsay growling]
-Nice doggy.

Go on, go on.
Get the sample.

Close your eyes.

[chuckles]

Don't you dare open those eyes.

You're going to be so excited.
I can't wait
to see your reaction.

Ta-da!

[Powers] What do you think?

It's my face.

[Lindsay] Whoa, that is freaky.

You're coming into
your own, Jess.

And I have got it
all worked out.

You're going to go
on your publicity tour
to launch Xtraordinar.

When you get back
in a few weeks,
wedding bells will be ringing.

We are going to get married
in a hot-air balloon,

followed by a flock of doves
over hundreds of people.

Everyone is gonna be there.
Possibly even
a few people you know.

Uh... Well, what about Lindsay?

-Who?
-Lindsay, the dog.

[Lindsay] Yeah. What about me?

I go everywhere with her.

Oh! Oh. Well, yeah, I mean,
she'll be the pup of honor.

[Lindsay] You know
I don't like you, right?

No, no. I meant
for the publicity tour.

-No, no, no.
-Oh. No. No dogs.

-Jess, no.
-We don't want dogs on a pub--

They can't smell perfume.
They s-- You know. Pss...

You guys know
that I can't go anywhere
without her.

[Lindsay]
Yes. Put that foot down.

Just watch where you step.

Well, of course
you won't go
anywhere without her.

Or my-- Your assistant, Leonard.
He will be there
the whole entire time.

And if there's anything
you need, he will be there
to fetch it for you.

So to speak.

I'll be there.
I'll be there. Yeah.

So, is everything ready?

[Leonard]
Oh, everything is ready,
Mr. Andrews. Yeah.

The tickets are purchased.
The bags are packed.

I hired a nice little driver.

Ex-military, I think.
Special Ops.

And you're going to need
to dust off your cowboy boots,

because we are going to Montana!

[Lindsay] What did he just say?

I'm sorry, wait.
Um, Montana?

Yeah, I figured that we'd
stack the deck in our favor.

Hometown girl makes good.

You'll be a smash.
Toast of the town.

-They have toast
in Montana, right?
-[Leonard] I think so.

I'm sorry. I just haven't
been back to Montana,
you know, since...

well, since I left.

Oh, yeah.
And you left a nobody

and you're coming back a star.

The publicity
practically writes itself.

In fact, Leonard,

get our people on that
right away.

[Leonard] I'll be on it.

[Powers] I love you, kid.

Big things are afoot for us.

Big things, for both of us!

And listen. Don't forget
this is a cutthroat business.

It is a dog-eat-dog world
out there.

-No offense. [chuckles]
-[Lindsay] Dog eat what?

But... I want you
to do me a favor.

Do not listen
to what anybody has to say.

No one. You just do
what you feel in your heart
is right.

Unless that person
knows what's best for you.

Like me.

[laughs]

-Lipstick.
-[Leonard] Mr. Andrews.

Could I talk to you about the...
a little bit? The pronunciation?

-Sure, yeah.
-Yes.

What do you think about
Extraordinaire?

Uh... I hate it.

Wow.

-[Lindsay whines]
-Well...

All right, Lindsay.
What do you say?

You and me, kiddo,
on an adventure to Montana.

[Lindsay] Montana, huh?
How's the weather
this time of year?

[gasps]
Will I get dry fur?

[Haley] Howdy, Clark.
What's the word on the street,
Martin?

Hey there, Julie.
Good to see you.

Hey, ladies. Looking good toda.

[Haley barking]

Hey. Quit your barking.

[Haley]
Just greeting the world.
You should give it a try.

Well, you're all excited,
aren't you?

Gonna go see Delilah Higgins
in your dog park resort, right?

[Haley] Oh, great.
I can see my friends.

We just got one stop to make.

Gotta keep the lights on,
don't we?

And keep you fed. Huh?

[Haley] You know getting fed
is always high on my to-do lis.

-Have a nice day.
-Thanks.

[Haley] Hey,
what are you carrying there?

[gasps] Is that food for me?

-Hey, Sally Ann.
-Hey, Mel.

-Where's your father?
-He takes weekends off now,

but he gave me permission
to pay you top dollar.

Thanks.

[laughs] You know,
you might be overpaying me
just a little bit.

You're our best provider, Mel.
You're worth every penny
and then some.

So, where's the town's
most eligible bachelor
off to now?

-Uh, Delilah Higgins' place.
-Still volunteering there?

Yeah, you know,
she could use the help.

You know her knees
and hips and back and...

[laughs]
It's not what it used to be.

Besides, Haley loves it.

[Haley] That's true.
But not as much as I love food.

Sometimes I think
you like hanging around more
with animals than you do people.

You ever think about
settling down with someone
with two legs, rather than four?

I don't know.
At least with animals,
you know where you stand.

You're always
in good standing with me,
Mel.

You too, Haley.

[Haley sniffs]
Something smells good.

Got you two more bags
of your favorite dog food.

Oh. Would you mind
putting that in my pickup truck?

-Red one?
-Yeah.

-Of course.
-Thank you.

You trying to win over
my dog's heart?

It's a start.

So, you're gonna go
to the fair this weekend?

Yeah, I'll be there.

My beef stew's
gonna win first place.

[sighs] And he cooks too.

-I'll see you around,
Sally Ann.
-Count on it.

-Come on. Let's go, Haley.
-[Haley] Can I ride in the back?

-I wanna protect that grub.
-Thanks, bud.

-Now, I have your itinerary
right here.
-Okay.

-Here you go.
-[Lindsay]
I'm Ms. Reynolds' consultant.

-I'll look over these first.
-Lindsay.
Those aren't for you.

-[Lindsay] My bad.
-I just... [sighs]

I don't know
what's gotten into her.

The devil, perhaps.

Mutt could use a shock collar
and some little cement shoes.

[Lindsay] Try it, and you'll be
singing soprano forever.

Oh! No, Lindsay, get off.
Get off, Lindsay. Stop it.

-Oh... Ah. Oh.
-[Lindsay growling]

Lindsay, stop it. Get off of me.

-Disgusting.
-[sighs]

You wanna check it out?

[Haley] Does a dog get fleas?

All right.

Go on.

-Hey, you're back!
-Yeah.

What did you say?

-I said, yeah, I'm back.
-No, my back's fine.

About the only part of me
that is fine these days,
but...

How are you feeling?

Well, you know,
it comes and it goes.

Mel, this is
none of my business,

but I really don't think
it's healthy for you

to be spending
all your time here.

You know there is
a whole world out there.

There are women.

There's dating.

Women.

Bingo.
Bingo tournaments
with women.

There's skydiving,
which you would love!

Skydiving with women.
There you go.

I like it here.

Of course I can hear you.

I'm not that deaf.
Not yet.

But you know what I think?
I'm beginning
to have my memory going.

Delilah,
don't worry about me, okay?
I'm gonna be fine.

And I got my ranch.
Business is great.

You know, Haley...
Haley's amazing.

How do I put this subtly?

You need a girlfriend, Mel!

You know, you're the one
who's hard of hearing.

-Not me.
-Yes, you.

I've seen the way
these girls look at you.

At least I would,
if everything wasn't so blurry.

And I hear things.

A little muffled,
but I do hear them.

What is going on
with you and Sally Ann, huh?

We're just friends.
She's not my type.

Who cares if she can type?

That's a very overrated skill,
especially in this day and age.

The point is, she's a female.
She's a human female.

I get it, I get it.
She's a member
of the opposite sex.

[laughing]
She's not opposed to sex,
not that one.

That's the silliest thing
I've ever heard.

And I do hear things.

Guess who's
coming into town today?

Who?

I asked you. Who?

What was I saying?

Oh, gosh. Oh, I hate this.
You know, I...

I think
my memory's starting to go.

[chuckles] Do you need
some dog food for the kennel?

'Cause I got a ton in my truck.

You know what?

We could really use
some dog food for the kennel.

Do you have any extra
in your truck?

I'll see what I can do.

No, I can't see
what you're doing.
But I trust you.

Good boy.
You want another one?

Come on.
You want another treat?

Oh, good boy.
You're beautiful.
Mm-hmm.

So, my thought was to create
a new fragrance for women
on the go.

Something that blends
with your...

natural scent.
Uh, and really highlights...

the...

well, just highlights
positive stuff,

um, which is why Xtraordinar
is truly extraordinary. Um...

-It really accents the positive.
-[Lindsay whines] Oh, boy.
She's not doing too well.

-[Jessica] And then it, um...
-[Lindsay] I've got
to stop this.

...says, "Negative, no way.
Get out of here."

Okay. Let me just
give you guys a sample.

Here you go.

[Lindsay] Oh, it smells like
the Botanical Gardens

caught on fire in here.

[woman] When will
this be available to buy?

Um, I can actually give you
a free sample.

[Lindsay] This is torture.

I have to do
something about this.

[Jessica] So, smell up.

No! Lindsay!

[Jessica] Lindsay! Oh, no!

Lindsay! Oh!

[Lindsay barks]

-[Lindsay] Hey!
This isn't cool!
-Does anyone have a towel?

I'll clean everything--
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, God. Oh, no. [gasps]

[women laughing]

Lindsay, I appreciate
your efforts,

but you will not
be bothering Ms. Reynolds
anymore.

You're going to go away
and disappear,
and I'm going to see to it.

[Lindsay] Can't blame this
on me. I've been framed.
I want to speak to a lawyer.

[sighs]

[panting]

[phone rings]

-Speak!
-It's Leonard, sir.

Um, everything's going great,
except for the dog.

The dog is terrible.
Trying to ruin everything.

Oh, God, I hate that dog.

Can't you lose it
in Montana or something?

Isn't there pastures out there
you can leave it in?

There are a lot of pastures
with deep holes.

Good. Well, find one
that preferably has
some wolves

or mountain lions
or some kind of bear in it
or something and leave it there.

No way I'm letting that fleabag
get in the way of me
profiting off Jessica's success.

I have worked way too hard
watching her work way too hard
for this.

-You understand me?
-Understood, yes. Yes.

Leonard, you're my eyes
and ears out there.

If she blinks, if she sneezes,

if she even breaks wind,
I want to know about it.

I want to know
what it smells like,

what it sounds like,
the texture.

And I want a demonstration,
you hear me?

-Okay.
-Over and out.

[panting]

-Hey, buddy.
-Call me Frank.

-Franklyn?
-Whatever.

Okay. Well,
with your local knowledge,

do you have any way
of making a dog disappear?

-You mean... [whooshing] disa--
-No, no. No, no.

Just hidden for a while.

Right down the road.
Big Sky Animal Shelter.

Will you take that dog there?

Here you go. Will that do?

Okay. And my bag
is getting heavy.

Will you take it
to our next appointment?
We'll be walking.

Okay?

Thanks, Franklyn.

[vehicle approaching]

[Lindsay] Unfair, I say.
This treatment shouldn't happen
to a dog.

[gasps] Hey,
this place smells familiar.

Can I help you?

Uh, yes, ma'am.
I've got this rather
rambunctious little dog.

I need a place for him to stay
for a few hours.

A place to play.

Yeah, that'll be
fine too, yeah.

Oh, no, no,
we don't charge fines.

We take all animals here.

However, we do take donations.

Er, yes, thank you very much.
I'll be back by the end
of the day to pick him up.

Thank you very much.

-Lindsay?
-Hey, Delilah.

[laughing] Ooh.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

There you go.

[chuckles] Hey, I noticed
you're also running low
on some bedding pads,

so I'll run into town
and pick some up.

You're going into town?
Could you pick us up
some bedding pads?

We're kinda running low here.

[chuckles]
That's a good idea, Delilah.

Yeah. Still sharp as a twig.
[chuckles]

Be back soon, girl.
Keep an eye on her.

[Lindsay] Wait,
was he talking to me?

Tack! Tack!
I'm sharp as a tack!

[sniffing]

[Lindsay] Hey!
That's my sister's sock!

-[brown dog] Finders keepers!
-[Lindsay gasps]
Stealers weepers!

You're a dead dog
if I can catch you.

Hey! Get back here, that's min!

[brown dog laughs] Mine now.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.
So then what happened?

So, I go up to that chicken
and I say in my scary voice,

"You better start laying eggs,
Bucko, or else!"

Or else what?

Well, that's what's great
about "or else."

You don't need specifics.

It's like the worst thing
you can imagine.

Let me tell you,
Bucko the chicken
started laying eggs.

Zeik! Where you going
in such a hurry?

Running away from you.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Pardon me.
I was just chasing...

[both] Why do you look like me?

[both]
Stop repeating what I'm saying!

[both] Stop it! I mean it!

[both] Jinx!

Who put a mirror in here?

Why do you two look alike?

-Haley?
-Lindsay?

[chuckles] Freaky Friday!

Nah, that's
a different movie, Zeik.

-Sis?
-Wha--

-Where you been?
-Sis! LA with Jess.
What about you?

Right here with Mel.
We never left the old homestead.
Remember?

Actually, it's kind of hazy.
I was just a puppy back then.

What was I, chicken liver?

We have lots of
catching up to do.

What brings you back?

Jess is doing a publicity tour

for the new smell she invented.

[Haley] Huh? Jess smells?

[Lindsay] All the time.
It's her business.

She's a professional smeller.

I don't mind,
but I don't like
the people she smells with.

She has this assistant, Leonar,
who hates me.

I don't care for him either.

And she's engaged
to this Powers guy

I really don't trust.

[Haley] At least
she's with someone.

Mel's all alone.

He acts like he's cool with it,

but I can sense he's lonely,
even with me around.

I think he misses Jess.

[Lindsay]
I barely remember Mel,

but I bet Jess would be
better off with him

than Powers and Leonard.

[Haley]
Hey, wouldn't it be great

if Jess and Mel
got back together?

[Lindsay] Then we could be
a family again.

But, wait...

When we get back to LA,
she's getting married.

[Haley]
Well, we cannot let that happe.

You have to stop her
from leaving so we can
hook our humans back up.

How? I don't know the detours
in this town like you do.

I got it! I got it!
[gasps]

Fleas again?

No, Zeik. We switch places.
I'll be you, and you be me.

-Say what?
-Once they figured out
they have the wrong dog,

they'll have to return us
to each other.

Crisscross.
Then we all meet in the middle

like a deer in headlights.

Bam!

It'll never work.

We're nothing alike,
personality wise.

I got plenty of personality.

I'm talking about
the way you act.
You're too... country.

And proud of it!

If you're going to be me,

you have to have
a certain amount of class.

Walk tall, watch your manners,
only eat meat
that is well cooked

or at the very least
medium rare.

No problemo.
And if you're gonna be me,

you gotta get
a little down and dirty.

Don't be a stick in the mud.
Play. Let loose.

Pee where you want,
when you want,
and make no apologies.

Oh, and there's one more thing.

[Lindsay]
Hey! What are you doing?

[gasps] Oh, my God. I'm naked!

Give me a break.
Now you pull off mine.

Fancy, fancy.

Well, I think
that went wonderfully,
Ms. Reynolds.

Better than last time.

Lindsay?

Where's my dog?
Why isn't she in the car?

I thought she was. Franklyn,
where's Ms. Reynolds' dog?

-At the animal shelter,
like we spoke.
-What?

You put Lindsay
in an animal shelter?

Why would you
do something like that?

-We'll get her back, ASAP.
-Yes, we will.

Not happy about this.
Not happy at all.

Shh.

Shh.

[Lindsay] Hey, Delilah.
Hoping you can help us out.

What happened here?

[Haley]
I don't know about this.

I hope she gets it.

Ah, you two!

All right.

There.

Yeah.
Stay. All right, hang on.

[Haley] Success!

Let the games begin!

[Mel clears throat]

All right.
Here you go, Delilah.

Where am I going?

I don't know
where you're going, Delilah,

but I'm going. I'm going home.

-Oh.
-I gotta start cooking

if I'm gonna be ready
for the fair.

Mm-hmm. What's this?

These are bedding pads.

See you later, Delilah.

No, I won't see you.
I'm going blind, remember?

[whistles]
Let's go, Haley!
Time to go. Playtime's over!

Okay. So how will
we stay in contact?

Don't worry. I'll find you.

Okay. I trust you. Good luck.

[Mel] Haley, come on! Hey.

Yeah! Oh, yeah!
Hey. Hey, girl.

Hey, did you miss me?

Yeah, I missed you.

It's good to see you too.
Yeah, come on.
Homeward bound. Let's go.

All right, Delilah,
we'll see you later.

Lindsay? Lindsay better be here.

I'm sorry,
I just thought it would be
in the dog's best interest to...

not be at the presentations.

Delilah?

Jessie Reynolds! Oh...

Wonderful. I knew
someone important
was coming to town.

Oh, my goodness.
So, you're still working here.

Dear, I may be too old for men,
but one is never too old
for dogs.

Well, I hear that dogs
take better care of you
than men anyway.

Oh! You're telling me.
They certainly do. [chuckles]

-How long are you here for?
-Uh...

Just a--
just a short while.

We're just
passing through, really.

-Oh.
-Is Lindsay here?

Yeah.

-She is. Yes.
-Oh.

Oh, thank God. Lindsay!
Oh, my goodness! Girl!

-Oh, Lindsay!
-Jessie!

Aw, I've missed ya.
I've missed you, girl.

Oh, my goodness.

[Delilah] A girl and her dog.

There's no sweeter thing
on earth.

You're planning to see Mel
while you're here?

Uh, no. Um...
I don't think so.

I doubt if he'd really want
to see me again.

[Delilah] Oh, I doubt
that you're right about that.

Do you see Mel often?

[Delilah] I don't see
much often anymore, dear.

I'm blind as a beagle.
Blind as a bat!

Speaking of bats,

we should be using
our echolocators

and going to the airport.

Who's your lovely
tall lady friend, dear?

[chuckles] This is Leonard.

Well, that's a strange name
for a gal, in Montana anyway.
[laughs]

We should really be going.
Tight schedule,
and this place smells like...

[Delilah] I like it too.

Take a deep breath...

through your nostrils,
and you're home! [laughs]

[Leonard] Okay.

It was so good to see you.

-Take care, Delilah.
-These days,
I'll take what I can get.

[all laughing]

All right.
Come on, Lindsay girl, let's go.

-So nice to meet you.
Lessie, Lesley?
-Leonard.

-Leonard.
-Lesley.
Nice to meet you, Lesley!

-You're lovely.
Bye. Take care of Jess.
-I'm going. All right, bye.

[Lindsay] My home.
My real home!

Come on.
Got some stew to cook.

You got some eating to do.
It's dinnertime.

[Lindsay] Dinner sounds
like an excellent idea to me.

[Haley] Jeez. Never been
in a spaceship before.

I'm sorry
that I yelled at you,
Leonard.

I know you were
just trying to help.

It's okay, Ms. Reynolds.
No harm, no foul.

[Haley] Don't get
much sun in here, huh.

We are a little behind,
but we should be able to make
the next flight to Dallas.

-Franklyn, step on it.
-[Haley] Leaving already? Uh-oh.

Wait, next flight.
Why so quick?

I thought that I would have
some time to look around and...

[scoffs] Why?

There's nothing here
but wide open spaces

infested with
wild undomesticated animals,
and they stink.

[Haley] I speak
for all animals when I say,
that's pretty offensive.

Wow. It's just been a while
since I've been back

and I thought I'd have
a little time.

See, Ms. Reynolds.
That's exactly the problem.

We do have little time.
[chuckles]

Mr. Andrews runs a tight ship,
and he doesn't allow
for any dillydallying.

Don't I know it. No time
to stop and smell the flowers.

-Isn't that right, Lindsay?
-[Haley] That's a good idea.

I think we should stop
and smell the flowers.

-Lindsay.
-[Haley growling]

Lindsay, what has
gotten into you?

-I think she needs to go out.
-No.
It'll throw us off schedule.

We're not stopping.
Franklyn, continue.

-[Jessica] Franklyn,
please stop the car.
-[Leonard] We're not stopping.

-[Haley] Oh, yeah?
-Oh. Lindsay, stay away
from my shoes!

No. Franklyn, yes, we can stop.
We can stop right now,
very briefly.

Are you serious?

-Argh.
-[Haley sighs]

-[Leonard] It's okay.
-No, Lindsay. No.

Oh, disgusting animals.

Haley, it's your favorite.
Num Nums.

[Lindsay]
Oh, this is disgusting!
What is this?

What? You love this stuff.

[Lindsay]
You're serving me poison.

I think Haley's
been humoring you.

Oh, you want some of my stew?

Okay, well, let me
finish cooking it, princess,
then I'll give you some.

[Lindsay] We need to have
a serious conversation
about diet.

[Haley]
Oh, boy. I need to
come up with something fast.

This better not take too long.

[Haley]
I need to find the scent,
and I need to find the trail.

Wow. It really is beautiful.

We don't get
vistas like this in LA.

[Haley] It's this way.
Time for a little hide-and-see.

Lindsay! Lindsay!

[Haley chuckles]
Better come get me!

She's never done this before.

We have really got to get going,
or we are going to
miss the last flight.

I'm not leaving
without my dog.

I'll get her. Lindsay!

-[Haley] I'm pretending
to not hear you.
-Lindsay.

-Hey, come on.
-I'm calling Powers.

Looks like
we're spending the night.

[Lindsay]
This place is disgusting.

He could use some help
around here.
A maid or something.

[doorbell rings]

Surprise!

Yes, it is. Uh...

Sally, it's really great
to see you, always.
But why are you here?

Well, I thought you could use
some more supplies
to make your famous stew.

I'm pretty much all set.

Well...

you know, these bags
are getting kind of heavy.

Oh, yeah. Let me take those.

Come on in.

-Hi, Haley. How do I look?
-[Lindsay growls]

Like competition.

[Haley] Peekaboo.
Come on, Jess, love awaits.

-Follow me!
-[Jessica] Lindsay!

Hey, come on.
Now is not playtime.

[Haley giggles]
Catch me if you can.

Where are you going?
Lindsay. Lindsay!

[Haley] This is so much fun.

-Hey! Where are you going?
-I'm so good at this.

Follow me and you'll see.

[sighs]

[grunts]

Are you serious?

[Sally Ann] Oh, so that's
your secret ingredient?

[Mel] Shh. Can't tell anyone.

-Or you'll have to kill me.
-Yeah.

Put you in one of my stews.

Call me the demon farmer
of beef street.

[laughs]

-Oh, smells delicious.
-Mmm. Wait until you taste it.

My lips are ready.

[Lindsay]
You better not kiss her.

Don't do it!

Ah! Haley!
What's gotten into you?

-I am so sorry.
-[barks]

Look, she hasn't
done something like that

since she was a puppy!

Or, I don't know,
maybe that was Lindsay.

Tastes good. You wanna lick?

Uh...

Look, you could, uh,
go upstairs
and just take off your...

Put on one of my shirts,
towel...

[exhales]

What is wrong with you?

[Lindsay] Uh...

I plead the Fifth.

Lindsay!
What has gotten into you?

Is it the Montana air?

Wait a minute.

We're not...

I don't believe it.

You found your way home.

It's like nothing's changed.

[Haley] That's right.
You're home again.

Hopefully forever.

All right. Come on.

-We gotta go.
-[Haley] Hold your horses,
honey.

Stay a while. Trust me.

[sighs]

I wonder if he's home.

I thought
that you liked Sally Ann, huh?

What, are you
getting jealous, girl?

[Lindsay] Her? Please.

There is someone better
out there for you.

You know, Sally and I
are just friends.

Just friends.

[sighs] I don't know.
Maybe I should rethink that.

Face the facts.

Jess is never coming back.

Delilah's right.

I should move on with my life.

-Right?
-[Lindsay] Wrong. So wrong.

Lindsay. Lindsay.
Hey, get over here.

Lindsay!

No, come here. Hey.

Come on.

Well, I guess
Mel found someone too.

[Haley] Uh-oh.
She's not supposed to be here.

All right, Lindsay. Let's go.

We don't wanna disturb them,
do we?

[Haley] No!
This is some kind of mistake.

Sally Ann and Mel
aren't an item.
He's still in love with you.

Trust me on this one.

All right. Come on, girl.

[phone ringing]

Oh, shoot.

[phone ringing in the distance]

Hi, Powers.

Hello? Is that you?

Hey, what's going on there?

You missed your flight.
Is everything okay, sweetie pie?

No. Yes. Uh, Lindsay ran away,
but I found her.

You don't have
anything to worry about.

[Lindsay] This is
about to get good.

Wait, what's that?
Speak up.

-I can't hear you.
-I'm fine.

I just can't talk
any louder than this.

-Let me call you back.
-Jessica?

Mel!

[Haley] This is so exciting!

Back together again.

You didn't tell me
he had a girlfriend!

Relax. They're just friends.

[laughs] Fancy seeing you here.

[stammers] My home is usually
a good place to find me. Wh--

-Why are you here?
-I'm not here.

-I mean, I'm here,
but I'm not staying.
-Not where?

-Who? What?
Where are you? Who is that?
-Um...

I'm at Mel's place.

Mel Danberry, your ex-boyfriend?

-Yes.
-Who are you talking to?

-Powers Andrews.
-Yes?

-He's my fiancé.
-What? Mel's your fiancé?

-No! No, you are.
-I'm your what?

-My ex-boyfriend.
-You're breaking up with me?

-No, I'm marrying you.
-What?

I'm so confused.
What on earth
is going on out there?

-My hands are sweating.
They never sweat!
-What's going on here?

Who's she?

Well, this is
not helping our cause.

They were going to kiss.
I had to improvise.

This is Jessica Reynolds.

I thought you two broke up.

[both] We did.

Powers, listen,
there's nothing going on here.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

-Hello? Hello? Hello?
-[phone beeps]

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, um...
I didn't mean to bother you.

I just...
happened to be
in the neighborhood.

-In the neighborhood.
-Chasing Lindsay.

-[barks]
-Oh, my God.

Lindsay. Oh, my God, Lindsay.
Look at you!

Oh, my God.
Look how much you've grown.
[chuckles]

Yeah, so has Haley. I mean,
you can barely tell them apart.

[Lindsay] That's the concept
in a nutshell.

Well, it's good
to see you, girl.

[Haley] Yeah.
It's been three hours.

Missed you too.

[barks] Talk to Jess.

So, she ran away,
what, from Los Angeles?

No, I'm actually here
on a publicity tour
for my new perfume.

Xtraordinar.

You sure are.

[Haley] I knew it!
The flame still burns.

[Lindsay] We're geniuses.

Would you like to come in?

No, I don't wanna intrude.

Besides, it looks like you've
got your hands full.

Oh, Mel and I were just cooking
and I got all wet.

You don't say.

-[Lindsay] She did not
just say that.
-[Jessica] Um...

Why don't you just
point me to the road?

Where's your car?

My limo? Um...

I think
it's back there somewhere.

-Come on, Lindsay.
-[Lindsay] I'm not
going anywhere, Jess.

Where you staying?

I don't know.
I'm sure my assistant, Leonard,
will find me a place.

Come inside.

Come on, five minutes.

[sighs]

[Lindsay]
So, we got them together.

Now how do we
keep them together?

[Haley] Don't worry.
Love is in the air.

[Lindsay] Really?
All I smell is perfume
and beef stew.

Leonard! Oh...

I am bitterly disappointed
in you.

Jess is supposed to be
on a plane right now.

And you know where she is? Huh?
You know where she is?

You know where she is?
She is at
her ex-boyfriend's house!

[Leonard]
I will have her on a plane
first thing tomorrow, sir.

Oh, you better! Because
the buyers tracking report
says that

Xtraordinar is going to be
a huge success!

Which means Jess
is going to be filthy rich,

which means
I am going to be filthy rich
when we are married.

And nothing is going to
get in the way of that.

Not some rabid ex-boyfriend,

and certainly not
that flea-ridden dirtbag

that she calls a dog!

Argh!

[sighs] Okay, okay.

[exhales] Breathe and calm.

You are in control.

You are in control of this.

The world is your oyster.

Lauren, get me
a ticket to Montana! Now!

Ah... So...

Publicity tour, a limo...

personal assistant,
a new fiancé.

Well, you've done well
for yourself.

Living my LA life.

[both chuckle]

That's wonderful.

You look great.

And you seem happy.

[phone ringing]

-You don't need to get that?
-Uh, no, it can wait. Um...

Yeah, I mean, city life,
you know, can be
a little overwhelming

but I mean,
I really can't complain.

So...

how 'bout you?

-Sally Ann, huh?
-Yeah.

Yeah, she's great.

She runs
the grocery store downtown.

So, it's business and pleasure.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess
you could say that.

[Haley]
Why aren't they kissing?

-[Lindsay] Here comes
one of the reasons.
-Hey, I should get going.

Looks like you guys have
some catching up to do, so...

Oh, nonsense.
I'm really the one
who should be going.

[Haley] No! Absolutely not!

And you know what they say.

-Two's company, but...
-Three's a ménage a trois.

[Haley] I don't speak French.

[Lindsay] Crowd.

I think
it means "crowd" in French.

I'm gonna call Leonard
to pick me up.

No. No, no.
Don't be silly, okay?
Look, I will take you to town.

-Let me just go
put my stew away.
-[sighs]

Gravy.

Uh-huh.

[Haley] What now?

[Lindsay]
Mel and Jess need

some alone time
together. That's what.

You know,
I could give Jessica
a ride back to town.

-It's no bother.
-No, listen,
you've done enough, Sally.

Thank you. Besides,
looks like Haley and Lindsay
are inseparable again.

Just like old times.

It is.

Okay, well, I'll see you
at the fair tomorrow
when you take first prize.

I've got the gravy stains
to prove it.

[Lindsay] They just need
more time together.

So, let me just fix this truck.

-What's that gonna do?
-You'll see.

Just let me get this in here
a little bit.

-This better work.
-It will. Trust me.

I guess
I don't have a choice,
do I?

That should do it.

-[car honking]
-Gravy stains, huh?

It's actually a funny story
with that one.

I bet.

Why don't you tell me
on the ride back to town?

Okay.

Are you taking the back road
into town?

It's quicker.

Oh, so you're
trying to get rid of me?

[laughs] No. No, no.

No, that's not it. I--

I thought maybe
you might be in a hurry,
so I...

I'm kidding.

Besides,
I wouldn't blame you.
I did show up unexpected.

[laughing] Yeah.
Yes, that was
definitely a surprise.

And it was not
an unpleasant surprise.

Well, you were always,
like, full of surprises.

I thought I would
just try it for a change.

What the...

No, no, no.
No, not now, no!

What?

You've gotta be kidding me.

[coughing]

Oh, God.
I think we threw a rod.

I don't understand.
This truck's never
given me any trouble before.

Well, can you fix it?

[Mel] No.
This isn't going anywhere.

Okay. Well, I'll just call
the local gas station.
Do you know the numb--

Minor problem. No reception.

-Do you have a cell phone?
-Nope.

Well, as you know,
don't really work out here.

Plus, I'm not a big fan
of being on call 24/7.

[Jessica chuckles]
Yeah, I remember.

All right.
So, what do we do? Walk?

Well, it's probably
about 20 miles to town.

And ten miles
back to my place.

But I do have
some camping equipment
in the back.

I'm hungry.
What are we gonna eat?

How do you like your eggs?

-Raw? I--
-Scrambled, over-easy,
sunny-side up?

[Haley] Let's leave these two
alone for a bit.

It's pretty good.

All without the help of takeout.

You should try my beef stew.

Best beef stew in the county.

I believe it.

I've made improvements,
you know.

I can tell.

So, what about
this, um, Powers guy?

Huh?
Does he cook for you?

[Jessica]
I wouldn't exactly call Powers
the hands-on type.

Unless it comes
to money contracts.

But I don't wanna
talk about him.

Can't remember the last time
I went camping like this.

June 10, 2012.

We were coming back
from your mom's.

We got home and found that
an army of cats
had taken over our place.

And turned it into their own
personal litter box.

[both laughing]

Took a whole week
to fumigate.

Insert cat joke here.

Well, so we went
on that camping trip.

I really hope they kiss soon.

Yeah, me too.

You remember the exact date?

No, no.
I just made it up.
I made it up.

Thought it might impress you.

Trying to impress me.

Why?

Look at you.

You're this big city girl.

You come back and visit
your old country boyfriend.

[chuckles] Come on.
How am I supposed to
compete with that?

Compete with that whole
LA lifestyle.

There's no competition.

[clears throat]
Two totally different worlds.

I think I prefer this place.

Don't have
skies like this in LA.

We live in a condo.
What's a sky?

[Mel] LA.

Must be exciting.

It gets old sometimes.

This gets old.

[Jessica laughs]

This is beautiful.

It sure is beautiful.
Now kiss! Come on!

It's almost like you planned
for your truck to break down.

Yeah. I planned
this whole thing.

Planned for my truck
to break down.

Then you must have planned
for no cell service.

Uh-oh. I think they're onto us.
Let's give the lovebirds
some privacy.

[both] No.

No.

Oh.

You can use the sleeping bag.

There's only one.

I usually only need one.

For you and...

Ms. Gravy Stains?

There's nothing
between Sally Ann and I.

You said you don't want
to talk about Powers.

I don't want
to talk about Sally Ann.

Deal?

Fair enough.

To be even more fair...

If you promise
to behave yourself,

I'll let you share
the sleeping bag with me.

I'm good.

[scoffs]

You're chilly.
Stop acting stupid.

Oh.

So, now you're calling me
stupid, huh?

Yeah.
Only when you act stupid.

Now I remember
why we split up
in the first place.

Oh, you're just now
remembering that?

Uh-huh.

You're funny.

It's a gift.

If you say so.

I always say so.

[clears throat]

Move over.

[both grunting]

Let me just get in a little.
Can you move over?

-[grunts]
-Okay.

-Okay.
-[both giggling]

Did you check for snakes?

[laughs]

Oh...

Are you okay?

I'm perfect.

Look, they're together.

Let's make sure
they stay together.

-[zipper closing]
-Be careful!

[Lindsay]
I've got this. Relax.

Yo! Any word from Ms. Reynolds?

I checked
the Danberry ranch. Nada.

I called her
27 times last night.

She didn't call me back
and didn't answer.
She didn't do anything.

I know she's dead.
I'm gonna lose my job again
just like in Milan.

She was probably abducted
by some
militia lumberjack organization

and now I'm going
to lose my job.

[phone ringing]

I've got to take this.

[exhales sharply] Jessica!

Oh. You still haven't
found her, have you?

Not-- not yet, Mr. Andrews.

-All right. Well, pick me up.
-[chuckles] Physically?

I don't think
I'm strong enough for that, sir.

No. No, no, no.
I'm at the airport.

Or at least
what they call an airport.

It's more like a barn
surrounded by planes.

But I just arrived.

You're in Montana?

Yes, I took the red-eye.
I'm exhausted.

Please hurry.
I do not like to wait.

To the airport, fast.

Wait!

I'm supposed to be in the car.

Aw. So cute.
They look so happy.

Why did they break up?
Mel never talks about it.

Had something to do
with her job,
his dream, the house,

but I think
she's been longing for a change.

[snorts]

Oh...

Morning.

Uh, yeah, good morning.

Yeah. [grunting]

It's a little snug in here,
don't you think?

Yeah,
it's a one-person
sleeping bag.

-[straining] Okay.
-Okay.

Let me see if I can
get the zipper...

Okay, it's not...

What is it?

It's not going.
I think it's... It's broken.

-Very funny, Mel.
-No, I'm not joking.

Oh. Come on.

-You've got to
get me out of this thing.
-I can't.

Okay, hair is everywhere.
Everywhere!

-Well, yeah. That's because it's
attached to my head.
-No, and in my face.

Okay, well,
maybe if you didn't have such
big, stupid broad shoulders,

maybe you'd get out
of this thing by now.

-Oh, nice, nice.
So, now I have stupid shoulders?
-Uh-huh.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, nice.

-Okay.
-Why'd you zip us in so tight?

Look, I didn't.

Yeah, then who did?
What, the dogs?

[Lindsay] I don't know
what you're talking about.

-[both sigh]
-Okay, look.

Listen, I got a pocketknife,
but I can't reach it...

-Okay.
-...so just,
you give me a reach-around--

Oh, no, I am not
giving you a reach-around.

-All right. Let's sit up.
-Okay.

-One, two, three.
-One, two...

-[grunting] Okay.
-Okay, all right.

-All right, let's just...
-We just got to stand up.

-Yeah. Okay, ready? And stand.
-Wait.

[grunting]

-Oh, my God!
-[laughs]

-Okay, yeah.
-Okay. Okay, now what,
smart guy?

This isn't what I meant
when I said
let's get them together.

But I'm kinda enjoying this.

-[Jessica screams]
-[both grunt]

Are you okay?

-Are you okay?
-[laughing] I'm okay.

Oh, no. What did you do?

Are they okay?
You're taking the blame
for this one.

That's all right with me.

-[both laughing]
-Oh, my gosh.

That was terrible.

Ah.
That's one way to wake up.

-Let's get out of here.
-All right.

-Come on.
-Come on, girls. Let's go.

Let's go.

-[horns blaring]
-Yo, hey. Hey, come on!

Pass the one on the right.
Come on!

Where do you mountain people
learn how to drive?

[Haley] So nice out here.
If this isn't romantic,
I don't know what is.

[Lindsay panting excitedly]
I've never had so much fun
in my life.

Wait for me!

So, when's the big day?
The wedding?

Oh, right.

Um...

When I get back.
Powers has the whole thing
planned out.

Really?
He must be quite the guy.

-What does that mean?
-I don't know.

You're letting someone
plan out your life for you.

Just doesn't
seem like you, Jess.

Well, look, like I said,
you know,
the city is different.

And everything's faster.
Sometimes I just
don't have time.

To breathe?

[chuckles]

Or think.
It's just rush, rush, rush.

Hence the assistant.

[laughs]

Leonard is probably
freaking out right now.

He has no idea where I am.

Neither do I.

That makes three of us.

-I thought you said
you knew where we--
-Relax.

I know exactly where we are.

[barking]

Hey, looks like Ol' Glory
got out of her stall again.

Ol' Glory? Jim Parker's horse.

You got a good memory.
You tired of walking?

-Oh, no,
we can't take Ol' Glory.
-Borrow, borrow.

Besides, Jim will be glad
if we bring her back.

[marching band music]

We will find her, Mr. Andrews.
Rest assured of that.

I'm not
rest assured of anything,
Leonard. Nothing. Ah.

What is going on around here?

I don't know.

Uh, it's the annual county fair.

You know, uh,
pie eating contests, rodeo,

pig slapping,
who's got the nicer cow.

Bunch of ranch folk
walking around.
The usual.

I've got a gut feeling
that Ms. Reynolds is there.

[sighs] Looks like
a caveman disco out there.

All right,
I guess we'll check it out.

-Franklyn...
-[sighs]

You got it.

Hey. Hey, girl.

Good to see you.
Yeah, you up for a little ride?
Huh?

-[grunts]
-[neighs]

All right. Come on.

What did I tell you?
This guy's a stud.

This is
definitely going to work.

Whoa.

You remember how to ride?

It's like riding a bicycle.
Only bigger and an animal.

Well...

-Ready? Up.
-Yep.

-There you go.
-[laughs]

I guess we'll get you
back to town.

Isn't the fair today?

Yeah.

Don't you need
to get your stew
for the contest?

I figured you need
to be getting back.

I have some time.

My place it is then.
[clicks tongue] Hup.

[Lindsay] We're so good
at playing matchmaker.
This is a blast.

¶ Tried on city life for size ¶

¶ Never seemed
To fit me right ¶

¶ Tall buildings
Blocked the warm sunshine ¶

¶ Open space was hard to find ¶

¶ Guess I'm just
A backwoods fool ¶

¶ And traffic ain't
In my gene pool ¶

¶ 'Cause deep inside of me ¶

¶ Flowing through my veins
Are hills and creeks ¶

¶ My family roots won't grow
Down through concrete ¶

¶ I'm headed back on home ¶

¶ My redneck traits kicked in ¶

¶ I'm country to the bone ¶

¶ Yeah, I'm country
To the bone ¶

¶ Country to the bone ¶

[marching band music]

[indistinct chatter]

Whoa. Hey. [laughs]

Don't touch any of them.

You can end up
with mad cow disease.

I don't see her anywhere.

Oh, maybe she knows.
That's an old friend
of Ms. Reynolds.

You found a forever home.

Very old.

-Excuse me!
-Oh, fantastic.

-You!
-Yes.

-Excuse me!
-Huh?

-Dear lady, ma'am--
-Mrs. Higgins.

My mother was Mrs. Higgins.
I'm just Delilah.

-Oh. Delilah,
do you remember us?
-Mm-hmm.

I can't say that I do.
No, 'cause I don't.

Um, we came by yesterday
with Jessica Reynolds
to collect her dog.

Have you seen her?

-The dog or the girl?
-The girl.
We don't care about the dog.

Yes, I saw her yesterday.
I saw her
with you two yesterday.

-Since yesterday?
-Since yesterday, what?

-Have you seen the girl?
-Yeah.

-Oh.
-Getting somewhere.

-When?
-Yesterday.

We're talking about today.

Well, why did you
bring up yesterday?

I mean,
are you trying to confuse me?

Oh, no, no. It's just...
That seems far too easy.

No, what we're trying to do
is find my fiancée.

Jessica Reynolds.
She's blonde, gorgeous.

-Yes!
-When?

-Yesterday.
-Yesterday!

Yesterday!

-Yes, you got it.
-Round up the troops.

I saw her yesterday.
I think it was yesterday.

¶ Happy is good
And happy is free ¶

¶ Happy is you
And happy is me ¶

¶ Happy is good
And happy is fun ¶

¶ Happy is two... ¶

I'm exhausted.

I've never run
so much in my life.

Don't be a wimp.
It's great exercise.

[panting]

[Mel laughs]

Haley and Lindsay
seem to be enjoying themselves.

They're not the only ones.

You could've come back,
you know.

You could've come after me.

Look, the past
is the past, right?

No point in living there.

If you say so.

You should be able
to call your assistant now.

I'm gonna get my stew
and I'll take you
back into town.

I got another truck
by the barn.

[Haley] Why is she sad?
I thought everything
was going according to plan.

Hey, Leonard. It's me.

[Haley] Come on,
we've got to think of somethin.

[Lindsay]
It smells good in here.
Oh, I'm hungry.

[Haley] Oh, so good!

Now you're hungry.

[Haley] I'm always hungry.

[Lindsay]
How can you eat that stuff?

[Haley] Easily. Watch.

Try it. It's really good.

[Lindsay] No, thank you.

-Haley.
-What?

[Lindsay] What are you doing?

I'm you, remember?

[Haley] Oops.

[Jessica] Hey,
is Lindsay in there with you?

[Haley] They're gonna bust us.

[laughs]

[laughs] Okay,
this is gonna sound crazy...

but I think--
I think our little puppies
are playing a trick on us.

[chuckles]
Okay, what do you mean?

Was Lindsay
at Delilah's dog park
yesterday?

Yeah, for a few hours.
How did you know that?

Haley was there too.

They switched places.
Their collars got switched.

[Haley] We did it
for a good cause.

[Lindsay] Yeah,
we didn't mean any harm.

Watch.

Haley.

-Lindsay.
-Yeah.

[Haley] Hey!

-[laughs]
-Hmm?

Okay. So...

So, you're Haley
and that's how you knew
how to get back here.

And you're Lindsay
and that's why you spilled stew
on Sally Ann last night.

[scoffs] What if
my truck breaking down
was not an accident?

And what,
the sleeping bag incident was...

[Haley] I think it's time
to make an exit. Let's go.

-Haley!
-Hey, Lindsay, come on!

[Haley] Come on, let's hide.

[Jessica] So,
which dog is which?

-Haley!
-Lindsay!

[both] What?

-[laughs]
-Ah. Well, nice try, ladies.

[Haley] The jig is up.

-[Jessica] There you go.
-[Mel] I missed you. Yeah.

[both sigh]

Well, it's getting late.
We should go.

[girl singing]

So, you're gonna stick around
for the contest
or you taking off right away?

Uh... I probably have to
take off pretty quickly

after we figure out
which dog is mine.

-Haley!
-[Haley] You figured it out
already.

Oh, there she is. Let's go.

Ms. Reynolds, we have been
looking everywhere for you.

You know,
I'm so sorry, Leonard.
I got sidetracked.

No, no, it's my fault.
It's my fault.

I take full responsibility
for it.

Uh... You don't need
to take responsibility for it.

I believe that we were pawns
in a sinister game
of manipulation.

-[Haley] These guys are trouble.
-[Lindsay] Don't listen to them.

-Jessie! [chuckles]
-Oh, my God. Powers,

I didn't think that you would
fly all the way out here to--

To the armpit of America?

Well, when my star attraction
and the love of my life
goes missing,

I leave no stone unturned.

This guy's the worst.

-[clears throat]
-Oh, um... Powers, um,
this is Mel, um, my good friend.

Mel, this is Powers Andrews,
my fiancé.

And this is Leonard,
my assistant,
and Franklyn, my driver.

It's nice to meet you guys.
I would shake hands, but...

Oh, I wouldn't want to get
my hands all dirty anyway.
[laughs]

Thank you so much
for protecting
my little sweet pea here.

She's worth protecting.

You're a lucky man.

Well, I believe that real men

create their own luck.

The secret to success
is raw ambition,
a lot of planning...

and the right amount
of financing.

Huh? [laughs]

That's funny,
'cause I was referring to
your upcoming wedding.

Oh! Oh.

Oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah, same rules apply really.

[Haley] I don't know
what Jess sees in this guy.

There you are. Come on,
let's go register your stew.

I gotta go, Jess.

Bye.

-Bye.
-[Leonard] Good luck
with your stew!

Well, that's great
because now we can
catch the 2:15 flight.

Excellent!
Let's get out of the 1800s

and back to modern America.
Whoo!

-I can't wait to get home.
-You know what?

I want to stay and see if Mel
wins the stew competition.

But stew is so gross. Why?

Because it's--
it's what I want.

[Powers] Oh.

Look, coming back here
has reminded me of who I was.

Who I am.

A nobody from a dinky town
in a pathetic state

filled with people
whom to call them backwards
would be a compliment. [laughs]

Did I say something wrong?

Well, get after her!

Well, that wasn't
in my original
job description.

Unless you want
your original job description
to read permanently unemployed,

you will bring her
right back here to me.
Both of you. Go on, scoot!

What do we do now?

Not sure, but we can't
leave her with him.
Follow me.

[sighs]

Phew. What's that smell?

-[Haley] Coming through.
Watch out.
-[Lindsay] Coming through.

-Hey, the dogs!
-If we follow them,

they'll lead us
to Ms. Reynolds.

Let's go get them.

[Lindsay] Watch your step.

[Leonard grunting]

You think it's funny?

[chuckles]
Misery loves company.

[Leonard] Gah!

Take that!

That went great.
Come on. Follow me.

Just in time.

Yeah.

Do you believe
in destiny?

You know what?
Actually, I do.

'Cause I think we make
a really good couple together.

-And I think we should--
-Look, Sals,
you're a great gal, okay?

And you're gonna find
the right guy someday,
but I'm not him.

My heart
belongs to someone else.
It always has and always will.

And I can't
let her get away again.

I'm sorry.

Jessie! I refuse
to let you leave this way.

Why? Because I'm under contract?

No. No, no, no, no.
This is not about business.
I love you.

Powers, everything you do
is scheduled and planned
and jotted down.

Look, I got caught up
in that lifestyle too,

but that's not
what I want anymore.

I'm free here,
I'm spontaneous.

Oh! Spontaneity!
That's what you want?

If you want spontaneity,
I will give you spontaneity.

We can get married right here,
right now today. Hmm?

-Today?
-Yes.

I'm sure that we can find
a justice of the peace

somewhere in
this windswept wasteland
that can perform the ceremony.

[phone ringing]

Hold that thought.

Ooh! Hello. Yeah, hello.

-Hello?
-Jess! Jess.

Jess, I got to
tell you something.
I'm sorry. Okay, I was wrong.

I was wrong
for not supporting you.

Your career,
your dreams, your goals.

I was selfish.
I was selfish
for trying to keep you here.

They say if you love something,
you should set it free,

not force it to stay.

What would you say
if they came back?

-[Haley] Yeah!
-[Lindsay] We did it!
We did it!

[Haley] Whoo-hoo!
We're the best!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

That is my future wife
you're kissing!

Ex-future wife.

Oh, no, no, no.
You're mistaken. He's the ex.

Not anymore.

Mr. Danberry! Congratulations!
You're a winner.

I certainly am.

No! I am the one
who always wins around here.
I am the winner.

So, unless you want
to lose everything...

the car, the house,
the jewelry,
all of the clothes,

oh, and also
your highly lucrative
perfume contract,

all those dreams,
poof, up in smoke!

Powers. Look, you're confusing
your dreams with mine.

Everything I want
is right here.

I'm sorry, Powers.
I'm done.

Never say sorry
unless you also say not sorry.

Sorry, not sorry.
Sorry, not sorry.

Ah, Leonard, please shut up.

No, you shut up.

Ms. Reynolds is right.
You have never said
one nice thing to me

in all the time
I've worked for you.

I quit. I'm leaving you too.
I do quit. I quit.

-I'm done.
-Whatever!

[Lindsay] All right,
I'm taking this guy out.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
-[barking]

[laughs]

[wincing]

How's this for closure?

[Lindsay] Diamonds
are a dog's best friend.
Thank you.

-No!
-Oh, no, no, no, no!

Do you know
how much that ring cost me?
Oh, you stupid mutt.

[groans]

Oh, oh, oh.

What about the wedding?
[laughs]

["Wedding March" playing]

[Haley] The moment
we've all been waiting for.

I prepared a little gem.

Extraordinary. Mel.

[scoffs]

Oh, I've waited so long
for this.
We are gathered here today

to join Jessica and Melvin...

Melvin? Really?

Mel-- better--
to join Jessica and Mel
together in holy matrimony.

And the ring
in this ceremony

symbolizes
the never-ending circle
of their love.

And it's...

No, it's... Hang on.
It's right here. I got it.

[Lindsay] I'm so proud.

[Haley] It was
a team effort, sis.

[Lindsay] I just wish
that they didn't waste
all that pie.

I'm so hungry.

I know I have the ring.

I know...

Wait a minute. I had the ring,

I bent down. I patted the dogs.

Oh, no.

[laughs]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Haley] Oh, you didn't.
Not again?

Lindsay!

[Lindsay]
Why is everyone looking at me?

[Haley] You know
you're supposed

to wear diamonds,
not eat them.

[Lindsay] It was tasty.

Well, we'll get it back
very fast.

You can't kiss yet.
Got to retrieve the...

ring.

[Lindsay] Here we go again.

-[Mel] I love you.
-[Jessica] I love you too.

[gags, groans]

Oh, God. [panting]

I'm probably gonna get
eaten alive
by some redneck.

Oh, God.

Ow.

Oh, oh, oh.

Okay.

[sighs] Oh. Phew.

Whoo! [laughs]

Hi! Yeah.

Well, well, well.
You going my way, sweetheart?

[scoffs]
I can do so much better.

No, you can't!

No one can do better than me!
I'm the best!