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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,553
Gina: Who has something that
they would like to share?
2
00:00:03,578 --> 00:00:05,422
I just had an argument with a deer.
3
00:00:05,447 --> 00:00:07,852
How did this get into this?
4
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,444
Kelly and Chelsea both gave it up
5
00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,203
for the same smooth-talking alien.
6
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,948
Oh! My God! They were different beings!
7
00:00:13,950 --> 00:00:15,422
Just admit it, it was aliens!
8
00:00:15,447 --> 00:00:17,585
It also could have been the tooth fairy.
9
00:00:17,587 --> 00:00:20,621
- Where's the metal?
- Because we have no proof.
10
00:00:22,636 --> 00:00:24,507
[Beeping]
11
00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:29,951
[Alarm sounds]
12
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,640
Oh, crap!
13
00:00:38,242 --> 00:00:39,546
_
14
00:00:40,266 --> 00:00:43,476
Don! We got to finish those reports.
15
00:00:45,081 --> 00:00:46,796
Don?
16
00:00:47,398 --> 00:00:49,398
Did you hear me?
17
00:00:49,893 --> 00:00:51,281
Don?!
18
00:00:51,758 --> 00:00:54,242
- What is that?
- "Alien Blaster."
19
00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,633
Oh.
20
00:00:56,835 --> 00:00:58,671
- [Roaring]
- Why are you killing them?
21
00:00:58,696 --> 00:01:01,421
They're trying to take
over the planet... duh.
22
00:01:02,059 --> 00:01:04,392
When you're done
pretending to be a human,
23
00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:06,851
I need you to be an alien
up on this freakin' ship
24
00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:08,703
and do some freakin' work.
25
00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:10,296
Call me.
26
00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,843
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:16,373 --> 00:01:18,109
Don: There you are.
28
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,640
- What can I get you?
- I'll have a large coffee.
29
00:01:21,728 --> 00:01:23,054
Oh, Father!
30
00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:24,875
Come on, here. You come on ahead of me.
31
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,773
- No, it's okay.
- No, no, come on ahead of me.
32
00:01:26,798 --> 00:01:28,097
- I insist.
- All right. Thank you.
33
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,992
- I insist.
- Thank you.
34
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:32,416
Um, just a regular coffee, please.
35
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:34,351
And could you put in a good word for us
36
00:01:34,353 --> 00:01:36,257
with the big guy upstairs?
37
00:01:36,282 --> 00:01:37,297
Yes, John.
38
00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:38,609
- All right.
- Okay.
39
00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:41,492
- Aren't people just the best?
- Yes, thank you.
40
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,461
And also if you could ask him...
41
00:01:43,486 --> 00:01:45,008
- if he could let the Giants...
- Giants,
42
00:01:45,033 --> 00:01:47,482
- win this weekend.
- yes, yes, yes.
43
00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:49,551
Okay. Thank you.
44
00:01:50,421 --> 00:01:52,726
I'm sorry, what were you saying?
45
00:01:53,023 --> 00:01:55,256
Man: It's been one day
since my last confession.
46
00:01:55,258 --> 00:01:56,546
One day?
47
00:01:57,054 --> 00:01:58,793
Okay, go ahead.
48
00:01:59,194 --> 00:02:01,953
I masturbated 22 times yesterday.
49
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:04,381
That's just too much.
You have to know that.
50
00:02:04,406 --> 00:02:06,437
Just... just cut...
51
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,163
just cut back a little bit.
52
00:02:08,188 --> 00:02:10,288
I've been receiving
Vanity Fair for a year,
53
00:02:10,289 --> 00:02:12,570
even after I canceled my subscription.
54
00:02:13,326 --> 00:02:15,539
I'm pretty sure that's not a sin.
55
00:02:15,564 --> 00:02:17,261
Father, I'm gonna burn in hell.
56
00:02:17,263 --> 00:02:20,197
[Sighs] No one burns in
hell for clerical errors.
57
00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:22,781
I used the Lord's name in vain.
58
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,578
Okay, go ahead.
59
00:02:25,949 --> 00:02:28,149
While I was masturbating.
60
00:02:34,213 --> 00:02:35,446
[Chuckles]
61
00:02:35,471 --> 00:02:39,062
♪ ♪
62
00:02:39,398 --> 00:02:40,977
[Knock on door]
63
00:02:41,002 --> 00:02:43,487
Father, he's back with
his swagger and his...
64
00:02:43,489 --> 00:02:46,057
It's a squirrel. He's...
he's a squirrel, Joan.
65
00:02:46,059 --> 00:02:47,525
I'll be right there.
66
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,392
[Door closes]
67
00:02:51,651 --> 00:02:54,836
[Electricity crackling]
68
00:02:55,595 --> 00:02:57,156
[Rapid beeping]
69
00:02:58,075 --> 00:02:59,578
Computer voice: Replace cartridge.
70
00:03:00,101 --> 00:03:01,351
Computer voice: Replace cartridge.
71
00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:03,211
Oh, God damn it.
72
00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:06,140
Bunch a piece of garbage.
73
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:09,164
[Grunting]
74
00:03:10,836 --> 00:03:12,469
Come on!
75
00:03:12,884 --> 00:03:15,726
Oh! You piece of crap!
76
00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:18,461
Garbage!
77
00:03:18,711 --> 00:03:20,873
Gina: Okay, I'm handing out these forms.
78
00:03:20,875 --> 00:03:25,414
They will guide you in sharing your
alien experience with your loved ones.
79
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:29,836
I want you to write, "The reason
I brought you here is blank."
80
00:03:30,136 --> 00:03:31,875
And then, finally,
81
00:03:32,064 --> 00:03:34,047
"My name is blank...
82
00:03:35,289 --> 00:03:36,748
"and I'm an experiencer."
83
00:03:36,773 --> 00:03:38,943
But they already know our names.
84
00:03:38,945 --> 00:03:40,617
Well, yes, but that's, of course,
85
00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:42,713
that's part of the process, so...
86
00:03:42,867 --> 00:03:44,382
Listen, I really want to stress
87
00:03:44,407 --> 00:03:46,257
that you only invite someone
88
00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:47,536
who you trust...
89
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,996
and who you feel safe around.
90
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,710
Um...
91
00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:54,315
is this mandatory?
92
00:03:54,873 --> 00:03:57,774
Uh, nothing here is "mandatory."
93
00:03:57,799 --> 00:04:00,567
But I would say that it
is emotionally mandatory,
94
00:04:00,592 --> 00:04:02,792
in a kind of, you know, optional way.
95
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,624
Well, I'm not inviting my family
96
00:04:04,649 --> 00:04:07,671
because they already think
that regular therapy is weird.
97
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:09,718
Can I get a pass, you know,
98
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,886
'cause of the whole getting a chunk
of metal taken out of my skull?
99
00:04:13,888 --> 00:04:15,226
I'm still processing it.
100
00:04:15,251 --> 00:04:17,421
Oh, can I get a pass, too?
101
00:04:17,804 --> 00:04:20,759
Guys, no passes, okay?
102
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,851
This is what we've been working towards.
103
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:25,874
Oh. I know who I'm gonna bring.
104
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:30,736
Hey, Mom, I don't think it would be
good for you to come up this weekend.
105
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,851
I just... a lot of research.
106
00:04:32,876 --> 00:04:36,374
So, you know, maybe we
can do it another time.
107
00:04:36,548 --> 00:04:37,876
Yeah.
108
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,366
No, that's great.
109
00:04:39,391 --> 00:04:41,210
Okay, I miss you, too.
110
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:48,163
"My name is Isaac Graham, and..."
111
00:04:48,238 --> 00:04:50,593
I am not doing this.
112
00:04:51,092 --> 00:04:53,359
I'm going to my adult education class.
113
00:04:53,384 --> 00:04:54,717
- Oh, yeah?
- Be back later.
114
00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:56,608
What are you studying in there tonight?
115
00:04:56,806 --> 00:04:58,671
The Renaissance.
116
00:05:00,943 --> 00:05:03,427
- Take the left.
- No. Uh, no.
117
00:05:03,452 --> 00:05:06,972
Actually, the GPS says that
we should go straight, so...
118
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:10,742
Well, you just added three
minutes on to our trip.
119
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,779
[Sighs]
120
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:14,290
Well, Robert, you know,
121
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:18,083
Mother says that we should
spend more time together, so...
122
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,825
I think I really like you, Edgar.
123
00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,341
I like you, Maggie.
124
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,114
Oh. And I'm not trying to rush things,
125
00:05:28,139 --> 00:05:29,928
but I would love it
126
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:33,154
if you could join me at
my group later tonight.
127
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,168
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
128
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,708
[Clears throat]
129
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:40,739
You think you want me there, too?
130
00:05:41,177 --> 00:05:42,810
Oh, um...
131
00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,486
I was thinking it would be
132
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,411
really just more like
an Edgar-and-me thing.
133
00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:48,960
Oh.
134
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,849
Mom.
135
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,489
Why are you wearing that?
136
00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:54,232
You said we were going to church.
137
00:05:54,257 --> 00:05:57,723
No, it's at the church,
not going to church.
138
00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,013
Should I... should I change?
139
00:05:59,038 --> 00:06:01,674
No, it's fine, we just... we're
gonna be late. It's just listening.
140
00:06:01,699 --> 00:06:03,013
- Oh, okay.
- Excuse me.
141
00:06:03,038 --> 00:06:04,329
I just with you would listen.
142
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,264
- Okay. I will.
- It's okay. No.
143
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,600
I'm just so happy we're together.
144
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,002
[Laughs]
145
00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:12,005
You said there'd be an open bar here.
146
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:13,296
There isn't?
147
00:06:13,321 --> 00:06:15,421
What?!
148
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:18,020
Has anyone seen Ozzie?
149
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,388
[Cellphone chimes]
150
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,779
I just got a text.
151
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,981
Says he's got food poisoning.
152
00:06:23,232 --> 00:06:25,384
Oh, yeah. I got that text, too.
153
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,902
Yeah, maybe he ate some bad chicken.
154
00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:30,645
Man: Come on, ref, where's the
yellow card? What, are you blind?!
155
00:06:30,647 --> 00:06:33,138
Hey, Padre, what are you
drinking, blood of Christ? [Laughs]
156
00:06:33,163 --> 00:06:34,700
Never gets old, Tommy.
157
00:06:36,177 --> 00:06:37,552
Father?
158
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,231
Hey, I...
159
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,943
I didn't recognize you
in your civilian clothes.
160
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,037
Uh... yeah, I'm... I'm undercover.
161
00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:46,247
No group tonight?
162
00:06:46,249 --> 00:06:48,417
No, no. I'm playing hookey.
163
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,608
All right, cool.
164
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,177
I won't bring up aliens
if you won't bring up God.
165
00:06:52,202 --> 00:06:53,368
Deal.
166
00:06:53,393 --> 00:06:54,893
Tonight I'm just Doug.
167
00:06:54,918 --> 00:06:58,152
All right, just Doug, can
I buy you another beer?
168
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,443
Yes, thank you, and shots.
169
00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:02,036
All right, just Doug.
170
00:07:02,061 --> 00:07:03,094
Yeah.
171
00:07:03,295 --> 00:07:05,107
Goal!
172
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:08,126
Goal, goal, goal, goal,
goal, goal, goal, goal!
173
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,262
No one... why do I come to this... goal!
174
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,863
- Nobody.
- They... yeah, no.
175
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,066
- This is not a soccer bar.
- No, it's not.
176
00:07:16,334 --> 00:07:18,146
You're here tonight...
177
00:07:18,903 --> 00:07:22,919
because you're loved one has
something very important to tell you.
178
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,379
[Breathes deeply]
179
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:29,668
Now, I want everyone to remember
that this is a safe place...
180
00:07:29,693 --> 00:07:31,270
and it's a judgment-free zone.
181
00:07:31,295 --> 00:07:33,802
Okay, so those are the ground rules.
182
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:35,708
Who'd like to begin?
183
00:07:41,403 --> 00:07:43,353
Uh, Ennis?
184
00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:54,436
[Sighs] Okay.
185
00:07:54,461 --> 00:07:58,412
Well, Caleb, the thing is, I've...
186
00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:03,194
brought you here to tell
you that I was snatched...
187
00:08:03,219 --> 00:08:06,061
- Visited.
- Beamed up while camping.
188
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:08,129
Intruded on.
189
00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:10,868
I had a late-night conversation with...
190
00:08:10,893 --> 00:08:13,264
- A Gray.
- It was a reptilian...
191
00:08:13,289 --> 00:08:15,686
A tall, white...
192
00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,606
... Lavender-smelling alien...
193
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,890
... With great hair.
194
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,249
Mine wasn't the same as Kelly's.
195
00:08:24,384 --> 00:08:26,086
I was never taken,
196
00:08:26,226 --> 00:08:29,093
but being taken is my life's ambition.
197
00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:30,885
Jesus, Gerry.
198
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:34,154
♪ ♪
199
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,523
- Old school!
- Yeah.
200
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,416
Gina: I think you're all
probably feeling a lot.
201
00:08:51,441 --> 00:08:52,507
That's okay.
202
00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:54,789
Remember, your loved
ones have just done...
203
00:08:54,814 --> 00:08:57,087
a very brave thing here.
204
00:08:57,112 --> 00:08:58,517
So...
205
00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:03,917
positive feedback is, uh, encouraged.
206
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:08,205
♪ Wave your hands in the
air like you don't care ♪
207
00:09:08,275 --> 00:09:12,243
♪ Glide by the people as
they start to look and stare ♪
208
00:09:12,268 --> 00:09:14,835
♪ Do your dance, do your dance ♪
209
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,060
♪ Do your dance... ♪
210
00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:17,760
I got this one. I got this one.
211
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,032
- You got this one?
- Yeah.
212
00:09:19,057 --> 00:09:20,533
♪ Tell me what's the word ♪
213
00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:21,955
♪ Word up ♪
214
00:09:22,935 --> 00:09:24,557
Aliens?
215
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:25,848
Wow.
216
00:09:25,873 --> 00:09:27,455
Uh...
217
00:09:28,579 --> 00:09:31,780
Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty heavy stuff.
218
00:09:31,782 --> 00:09:33,048
Yeah.
219
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,081
I had no idea...
220
00:09:35,106 --> 00:09:38,878
that you were so
desperate for attention.
221
00:09:38,902 --> 00:09:41,143
I knew he would do this!
I knew it! I knew it!
222
00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:43,752
You just... you can't let
me have anything, can you?
223
00:09:43,785 --> 00:09:45,088
Oh, please!
224
00:09:45,113 --> 00:09:47,252
You've always been jealous of me,
225
00:09:47,277 --> 00:09:49,205
ever since I was on "Star Search."
226
00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:50,869
- What?!
- Yeah.
227
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:51,899
[Scoffs]
228
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,868
- "Star Search" again?
- Okay, let's-let's try...
229
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,580
- Unbelievable!
- ... to support each other here, guys.
230
00:09:55,605 --> 00:09:57,401
He is incapable.
231
00:09:58,143 --> 00:10:00,944
Yes, Robert. There are aliens.
232
00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,735
They chose me.
233
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,260
Deal with it.
234
00:10:04,285 --> 00:10:06,151
No, no, no. Stop. Stop laughing.
235
00:10:06,176 --> 00:10:07,442
It's not... it's not funny, Marcy.
236
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:09,067
First you told me you're gay,
237
00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:11,792
and now you're telling me
you've been abducted by aliens.
238
00:10:11,817 --> 00:10:14,025
Could you just maybe pick one?
239
00:10:14,558 --> 00:10:16,592
Neither one's a choice, Caleb.
240
00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:18,885
I wish you'd go back to
school, finish your Master's.
241
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,028
What?! God!
242
00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:21,876
How are you even doing
this to me right now?
243
00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:23,909
Chelsea: You're so understanding, Suzie.
244
00:10:23,934 --> 00:10:25,744
I wish I had that kind of support.
245
00:10:25,769 --> 00:10:28,204
Thank you. I try my best.
246
00:10:28,229 --> 00:10:31,212
No, you know, I think
you're doing really great.
247
00:10:31,237 --> 00:10:32,903
Raising kids is so hard.
248
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,111
What are you talking about?
You don't even have kids.
249
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:37,079
- I could have kids.
- Okay, great, but you don't.
250
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,564
I could have several children.
251
00:10:38,589 --> 00:10:40,048
- Wow. Amazing.
- You don't know that about me.
252
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,750
You're such an amazing imaginary mom.
253
00:10:41,752 --> 00:10:43,384
You don't know anything
about me, actually, Kelly.
254
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,103
I do know a lot more
about you than I'd like.
255
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,439
No, no, you don't.
256
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:48,673
Well, you talk about big, fat
alien dick ever single week.
257
00:10:48,698 --> 00:10:49,751
Oh, what's wrong with
big fat alien dick...
258
00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:52,171
Let's stick to "I" statements,
"I feel" statements.
259
00:10:52,196 --> 00:10:54,296
[Indistinct shouting]
260
00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:56,275
♪ Everybody say ♪
261
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,619
♪ When you get the call ♪
262
00:10:57,644 --> 00:10:59,704
♪ You've got to get it on the way ♪
263
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:02,664
[Indistinct shouting continues]
264
00:11:02,689 --> 00:11:04,625
That is exactly what
she's like in group.
265
00:11:04,650 --> 00:11:06,508
What are you... nobody
is even talking to you.
266
00:11:06,510 --> 00:11:08,076
I need everyone to stay very calm!
267
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,392
Is this because you think
I stole your experience?
268
00:11:09,417 --> 00:11:11,329
No! I like your mom.
269
00:11:11,354 --> 00:11:14,001
- I think she's a nice lady.
- Oh, bullshit!
270
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,992
- All right, what?!
- I thought you were a sex addict.
271
00:11:16,017 --> 00:11:17,750
- Se...
- But I'm proud of you.
272
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:19,018
Don't you... you're proud of me?
273
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,734
I'm proud of you. You get it, girl.
274
00:11:20,759 --> 00:11:22,023
But I didn't know it was aliens.
275
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,814
And Ennis, the gay farmer, he
was visited by a little gray,
276
00:11:24,839 --> 00:11:26,594
- but Richard and I...
- Don't point your finger at me.
277
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:27,853
- Why, is it bothering you?
- No.
278
00:11:27,878 --> 00:11:29,656
- Is it bothering you?
- Sometimes, they wear capes.
279
00:11:29,681 --> 00:11:31,297
But mine had on a trench coat.
280
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:34,078
And, um, I wasn't scared,
which surprised me.
281
00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:35,462
I thought I'd be scared.
282
00:11:35,650 --> 00:11:37,571
Isn't it wonderful?
People are so different.
283
00:11:37,611 --> 00:11:38,611
Don't point yourself!
284
00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,407
- I'm gonna point at you!
- I'm gonna point at you!
285
00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:43,390
I'd like to remind you both
that you love each other.
286
00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:45,203
Hey, hey, stop it! No, no!
287
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:47,173
Hey, hey!
288
00:11:47,704 --> 00:11:49,968
I have achieved a yellow
belt status in Aikido,
289
00:11:49,993 --> 00:11:52,485
and I am not afraid to apply
it if I feel under threat!
290
00:11:52,487 --> 00:11:53,586
Ow!
291
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,454
[Laughs]
292
00:11:57,376 --> 00:11:59,454
- Excuse me?
- John?
293
00:11:59,915 --> 00:12:02,561
Well, what are you doing here?
294
00:12:02,563 --> 00:12:05,431
Oh, I thought I might
get some adult education.
295
00:12:05,604 --> 00:12:07,275
No, come on.
296
00:12:10,282 --> 00:12:12,938
Ozzie, can I ask you...
297
00:12:13,244 --> 00:12:14,735
uh...
298
00:12:15,118 --> 00:12:18,119
I don't know, it's just this
whole alien thing. I mean...
299
00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,578
Look, I get it.
300
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:20,946
[Urinating]
301
00:12:21,525 --> 00:12:23,718
You want to see where it happened?
302
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,212
This is where it all went...
303
00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:27,820
you know, down.
304
00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:31,298
You're the first person that
I've... I've told about this,
305
00:12:31,337 --> 00:12:33,290
you know, outside the group.
306
00:12:33,368 --> 00:12:35,861
You're in luck. I'm a pro secret-keeper.
307
00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:37,157
[Laughs]
308
00:12:38,345 --> 00:12:41,118
Hey, what's Operation Mongoose?
309
00:12:42,069 --> 00:12:47,140
Operation Mongoose was
a Latin jazz funk band
310
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,851
from the early '90s.
311
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,150
Cool.
312
00:12:51,546 --> 00:12:53,415
I was the keyboardist.
313
00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:55,648
What?!
314
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,416
Were you any good?
315
00:12:57,587 --> 00:12:58,898
Were we good?
316
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:02,371
Did you ever hear of a little band
called Tonto's Expanding Headband?
317
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:03,382
No.
318
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,359
Their manager was very interested in us.
319
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:08,627
So, yes, we were... we were pretty good.
320
00:13:08,877 --> 00:13:10,973
You should get your band back together.
321
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,400
[Laughs]
322
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,733
- Yeah.
- No, I'm a priest.
323
00:13:14,735 --> 00:13:18,137
So? Priests can't be in
Latin jazz funk bands?
324
00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:20,821
No, it's just a... No.
325
00:13:20,846 --> 00:13:22,575
- It's complicated.
- Did you have groupies?
326
00:13:22,577 --> 00:13:23,984
- Well...
- Oh, you had groupies.
327
00:13:24,009 --> 00:13:26,095
That was a long time ago. I took a vow.
328
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,476
- I'm a priest.
- [Laughs]
329
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,046
- No.
- No, you should do it.
330
00:13:29,071 --> 00:13:30,249
Look, if you love it...
331
00:13:30,274 --> 00:13:31,794
If you love something...
332
00:13:31,819 --> 00:13:33,470
- ... you should do it.
- I have feelings for a woman!
333
00:13:37,925 --> 00:13:39,491
Okay.
334
00:13:40,494 --> 00:13:42,296
It's Chelsea.
335
00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:48,173
Why did I...
336
00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:49,398
[Laughs]
337
00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:55,063
Please, promise me
you won't tell anybody.
338
00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:56,741
No, no.
339
00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:59,245
- Ozzie...
- No, I promise.
340
00:14:03,226 --> 00:14:05,396
What, are you just waiting
for me in the parking lot?
341
00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:07,391
Yeah. Maybe I was.
342
00:14:07,742 --> 00:14:11,991
Hi, I'm... I'm guessing
your Chelsea's husband, John.
343
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:13,484
- Hi. Welcome.
- Yeah.
344
00:14:13,493 --> 00:14:16,430
Oh, well, John's an easy
name to remember, so...
345
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,907
Seems like you're
having some big feelings.
346
00:14:18,932 --> 00:14:20,983
Hmm, feelings, sure.
347
00:14:21,008 --> 00:14:23,680
- You're a fraud and an enabler.
- Okay, John.
348
00:14:23,705 --> 00:14:26,137
You missed the conversation
about positivity, I guess.
349
00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:29,340
And you're victimizing these
people, including my wife.
350
00:14:29,342 --> 00:14:30,875
Oh, really? It is your wife's decision
351
00:14:30,877 --> 00:14:32,677
whether she wants to come here or not.
352
00:14:32,702 --> 00:14:33,764
Thank you.
353
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,975
Okay, well, I'll let her decide.
354
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,415
Do you want to stay
with the alien people,
355
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:39,184
or do you want to
live in the real world?
356
00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:40,631
That is a false choice, sir.
357
00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,506
Excuse me... sorry.
358
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:44,389
Sir, I think you misunderstand.
359
00:14:44,414 --> 00:14:46,305
We're not aliens.
360
00:14:46,526 --> 00:14:48,626
Who are all of you people?!
361
00:14:48,628 --> 00:14:51,000
Okay, John, that's enough.
362
00:14:51,331 --> 00:14:52,931
I'm sorry, everyone.
Look, we're gonna go.
363
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,465
No, no, you don't need
to do that, Chelsea.
364
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:56,100
No, Gina, please, I
think it's for the best.
365
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,302
This is the work.
366
00:14:57,304 --> 00:15:00,104
Son, I love you, but I'm leaving.
367
00:15:00,106 --> 00:15:02,688
Come with me if you want a ride.
368
00:15:03,376 --> 00:15:06,305
Dad, you know you can't drive at night.
369
00:15:08,682 --> 00:15:10,829
I'm gonna go wait in the car, Dad.
370
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,540
What? Caleb?
371
00:15:18,859 --> 00:15:20,325
There's still cake.
372
00:15:20,642 --> 00:15:21,726
Gina, it's over.
373
00:15:21,728 --> 00:15:24,229
Don't chase the night, okay?
374
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,649
Today, I was supposed
to tell my mom that...
375
00:15:29,853 --> 00:15:33,103
I've been abducted by aliens in group.
376
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:36,407
Oh. She doesn't know?
377
00:15:36,409 --> 00:15:38,543
No, no. I told her I came up here
378
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:41,431
to write a novel about the Civil War.
379
00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:42,855
Yeah.
380
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,346
I did.
381
00:15:44,517 --> 00:15:47,243
I've heard worse in confession.
382
00:15:48,521 --> 00:15:49,787
What are you doing?
383
00:15:49,789 --> 00:15:51,990
I got to call her. I got to tell her.
384
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,984
I can't lie to her
like I'm some teenager.
385
00:15:55,009 --> 00:15:56,859
I'm an adult. I got to act like one.
386
00:15:56,884 --> 00:15:57,829
No, that's... that's cool.
387
00:15:57,831 --> 00:16:00,743
But just maybe not
now, not drunk dialing.
388
00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:02,101
Maybe wait till you're sober.
389
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:03,801
No, it's fine. She can handle it.
390
00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:07,078
I've done a bunch of stupid
stuff when I was sober.
391
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:11,175
I have a tattoo of
the Public Enemy logo.
392
00:16:11,177 --> 00:16:13,044
I did that when I was sober.
393
00:16:13,046 --> 00:16:14,312
She can handle this.
394
00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:16,080
All right, all right.
395
00:16:16,082 --> 00:16:17,382
Okay.
396
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:19,717
- Hey, Jerry!
- What?
397
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,330
- Hey, Doug, what are you doing?
- You'll thank me in the morning.
398
00:16:22,355 --> 00:16:24,188
No, Doug, give me my phone back.
399
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:26,031
Don't make me tackle a priest!
400
00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:28,337
- Give me the phone, Doug!
- No.
401
00:16:28,916 --> 00:16:30,275
Come on!
402
00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,365
Come on, just give me the phone!
403
00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:36,671
As the more sober one between us,
404
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,062
it's my job to protect you.
405
00:16:38,087 --> 00:16:40,438
Why do you even care? It's my life.
406
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,309
Ozzie, my mother calls me "Father."
407
00:16:44,311 --> 00:16:46,144
My mother.
408
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,380
Ever since I became a
priest, everything changes.
409
00:16:49,382 --> 00:16:51,482
I'm not Doug anymore, I'm Father Doug.
410
00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:53,685
This is totally different.
411
00:16:53,687 --> 00:16:55,019
Is it?
412
00:16:55,021 --> 00:16:56,788
We both were spoken to by a higher power
413
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,931
that we didn't understand.
414
00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:01,642
We both left lives behind.
415
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:04,187
And now people look at us differently.
416
00:17:04,212 --> 00:17:05,997
Okay, there might be some similarities.
417
00:17:05,999 --> 00:17:07,876
It's too late for me.
418
00:17:08,368 --> 00:17:10,468
I'll always be Father Doug, always.
419
00:17:10,493 --> 00:17:14,639
But you, do you really
want this alien thing
420
00:17:14,641 --> 00:17:17,821
to define who you are?
421
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,921
You're right, you're right.
422
00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:21,704
I...
423
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:25,242
You know what, I should... I should just
424
00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:28,071
- not do any... I should sleep on it.
- Thank you.
425
00:17:32,263 --> 00:17:34,560
[Snores] Slept on it!
426
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,494
Ozzie, hey!
427
00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:38,754
The first time, they stole my ovaries,
428
00:17:38,779 --> 00:17:41,332
so I was barren, and I got over that.
429
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:42,949
It was very disappointing.
430
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,470
But the surprising thing was...
431
00:17:45,576 --> 00:17:47,693
_
432
00:17:52,078 --> 00:17:53,451
[Cellphone chimes]
433
00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:02,204
_
434
00:18:06,103 --> 00:18:07,672
_
435
00:18:08,618 --> 00:18:09,797
[Cellphone chimes]
436
00:18:09,813 --> 00:18:10,813
_
437
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:15,199
[Cellphone rings]
438
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:17,352
Hey, hey. Don't do this!
439
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,249
It's too late, it's ringing.
440
00:18:19,274 --> 00:18:20,929
Do you really think you can go back
441
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:23,541
once you start telling people
that you've seen aliens?
442
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,343
Hey, Mom. Hey, sorry.
443
00:18:25,345 --> 00:18:26,711
Did I... did I wake you up?
444
00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:28,460
- Go with God.
- Yeah, I just...
445
00:18:28,485 --> 00:18:30,335
I just needed to tell you something.
446
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:34,727
I just needed to tell you
that I should call you more.
447
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,288
No, I'm not drunk, Mother.
448
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,922
You're drunk.
449
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,425
Okay.
450
00:18:40,427 --> 00:18:41,345
Bye.
451
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,165
- [Sighs]
- [Cellphone beeps]
452
00:18:43,696 --> 00:18:46,563
Okay, you did the right thing.
453
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,766
I'm gonna go barf now.
454
00:18:50,136 --> 00:18:52,375
All right. Go with God.
455
00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:55,740
Turns out that was a
terrible, terrible idea.
456
00:18:55,742 --> 00:18:57,460
- You tried something.
- Yeah.
457
00:18:57,485 --> 00:18:59,249
- It didn't work.
- Yeah.
458
00:18:59,274 --> 00:19:00,725
- But you tried it.
- Yeah.
459
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:03,243
But even though consequences were dire.
460
00:19:03,983 --> 00:19:05,750
Oh, uh, Chelsea.
461
00:19:05,752 --> 00:19:07,258
Oh, hey!
462
00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:08,686
- Have a seat.
- Hi.
463
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:10,288
- Can I get you a drink?
- Uh, yeah, anything.
464
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:13,516
- Just, um, get me a big one.
- Okay, I got it.
465
00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:14,541
Hey.
466
00:19:14,566 --> 00:19:16,149
[Sighs]
467
00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:20,977
Hm.
468
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:24,836
Uh, where's John?
469
00:19:24,838 --> 00:19:26,875
Who cares? [Scoffs]
470
00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:31,954
I'm sorry about hijacking your mom.
471
00:19:32,178 --> 00:19:33,711
I just didn't have
anybody there tonight.
472
00:19:33,713 --> 00:19:35,133
We're good.
473
00:19:35,648 --> 00:19:38,093
And, um, not tonight,
474
00:19:38,118 --> 00:19:41,522
because we're drinking
to forget about tonight,
475
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:44,196
but maybe...
476
00:19:44,221 --> 00:19:48,907
can we get together
and talk about our...
477
00:19:49,295 --> 00:19:51,008
two-timing alien?
478
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,664
- Sure.
- Hey!
479
00:19:53,666 --> 00:19:56,067
What the hell are you
guys supposed to be?
480
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:59,337
We're an AA group, we're
just super, super bad at it.
481
00:19:59,339 --> 00:20:01,377
- Shots!
- Shots!
482
00:20:03,097 --> 00:20:04,792
♪ ♪
483
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,136
[Pills rattling]
484
00:20:15,097 --> 00:20:16,659
[Ringtone plays]
485
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:23,097
Ozzie Graham.
486
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,300
Mm.
487
00:20:25,151 --> 00:20:27,932
Ozzie Graham. Lower your voice.
488
00:20:28,831 --> 00:20:30,784
Hey, Sam, what's up?
489
00:20:31,789 --> 00:20:32,870
Huh.
490
00:20:33,980 --> 00:20:36,447
You got some information
on Jonathan Walsh.
491
00:20:36,472 --> 00:20:38,649
Hold on. Let me grab a pen.
492
00:20:38,674 --> 00:20:42,009
[Rattling]
493
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,745
[Rapid beeping]
494
00:20:49,511 --> 00:20:51,550
[Ringing]
495
00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:57,550
_
496
00:20:57,558 --> 00:20:58,768
_
497
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,128
[Keyboard keys tapping]
498
00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:04,675
_
499
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:09,182
_
500
00:21:09,372 --> 00:21:11,005
[Gasps]
501
00:21:11,007 --> 00:21:12,339
Oh, God.
502
00:21:13,051 --> 00:21:14,776
It's happening.
503
00:21:15,814 --> 00:21:17,404
Don?
504
00:21:17,794 --> 00:21:19,615
Don?!
505
00:21:20,616 --> 00:21:22,349
Don!
506
00:21:22,433 --> 00:21:26,487
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
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