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Original subtitles

Carved in the garage of the... Yeah, someone else's.

Morning. Hey.

You all right?

I'm well.

How are you? Yeah, good.

Morning, girls.

Morning. All right, Mr Mead? Morning, Lauren.

I love the way he says my name.

It's popular, though.

Tell me about it.

So, did you do anything special last night, sir?

Not really, Amy. Did you? Yeah.

She doubted about you.

That's enough, girls. Thank you very much. Bye, then.

There we go. Thanks, there.

Morning, sir.

Oh, I've heard of them, I think.

Yeah, forget your CDs.

You can't beat a bit of vinyl.

Thanks, but I can't take it.

Of course you can.

Look, I really want to make a dolist. I mean, I know I've not been around for

you. No, I can't take it because they have nothing to play it on. I don't have

any decks.

Right.

Well,

I've got a spare turntable at mine. I can drop it at yours sometime. How about

tonight? You could come for tea.

I'm not much out for food, by the way.

Oi.

So... Well, maybe you should check with your mum first. I don't just want to...

No, I'll text her. She'll be cool.

She likes having you around.

She likes you.

Really likes you.

All right. I get it.

See you tonight then, yeah?

Yeah. Why not?

Morning.

Hi.

Have we lost Christopher?

Oh, no. I've sent him to circulate the new rota for the playground duty.

But we have got doughnuts.

Sorry. To share in the spirit of the new Entente Cordiale.

Enjoy. OK. In future, I want the full management team at every meeting,

Yeah, absolutely.

Just didn't think we had much to discuss this morning.

Well, let's see, shall we?

Kim, have you got anything?

Er, no. No, nothing.

Max?

Hmm. Nothing.

Rachel? Nothing.

Except the forms that I needed Christopher to sign.

Right, well, if we're done, then I'd better get to this L .E .M. meeting at 9

.30.

Don't eat them all at once.

Um, I'd better get going as well.

Rachel, I have not mentioned to Max about... Do you know? You know him

Fine. Come on.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything.

Well, I haven't.

Okay. But you probably should know that Max has told Christopher.

Right.

Still, I'd rather it didn't go around the staff room.

You know what this place is like. I mean, I don't mind, but I just don't

that Max would appreciate the gossip.

No, I don't suppose he would, would he?

I really hope this isn't an issue between us.

Neither do I.

Good.

Great.

Sorted, then.

See you in a bit.

Oh, Phil, have you heard anything back from that comedy competition yet?

Nah, but it's only days yet.

I could never be a comedian.

You'd scare me to death.

Nah, it's a doddle, as long as you've got the good set. Come on, then. Do a

What, here?

Yeah. You don't really do jokes.

Nah, it's more observational comedy.

Witty asides and dry social satires.

It's good.

Really good.

Want to be my agent, then?

If I were, I'd be sitting you up again.

Steady on.

Come on, then.

Oh, you chicken.

So you should do it.

Well, I'd love to, I mean, but not that easy, is it?

No -one's letting up any comedy clubs around here, so until then, I'll have to

keep my powder dry.

Oi, get your tongue back in your head, man. Shut up, man, she's well hot.

It's a waste of money.

Right.

You, you, you, you.

You squeaky little gnome boys, yeah? Come on, Polly.

Well, one way is such a waste of space.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Meat. Won't leave me alone.

Ah, Vicky, good.

Coursework.

Thank you, you.

Hang on, what's this?

What's it look like?

Something that's been used as a beer mat.

Right, I'll do it again.

Right.

What's wrong?

I don't know what you mean.

Yeah, thank you, Lindsay.

You can go now.

Look, it's just one bit of coursework. Yeah, but it's not, though, is it? Your

whole attitude's been slipping.

I didn't even see you in class all last week.

Yeah, I wasn't well.

Look, look, I'm sorry. I'll sort it.

Okay.

Well, we need to have another go at this.

You see me a break, yeah? No, I can't.

Right, okay.

I'll be there.

So I'm cooking, then. And that's got to do with you, because... Fine.

If you want to cook something, it's going to gag on.

Go on, then.

Things he doesn't like.

Pizza, chips, pasta, art and curry, especially curry.

Yeah, it brings him out in hives, so I just did something plain and simple.

Creative, then.

Right, experiment on page 24. I need a volunteer, please.

I'll do it.

Amy, come on up here.

I'll go with some gloves.

I'm going to take the test tube and hold it over the flame.

What, like this, sir? No, no, no. Careful.

It's up your arm.

Yeah.

She is such a slapper.

I wouldn't get too close to her, sir. It smells like Amy's let one off.

I can tell you, Lauren, that's the sulfur you're smelling.

Careful. That's it.

Mr Meek, can I have a word? Yeah. Go on, sit right down, Amy.

You have two seconds.

Sorry to interrupt, but I missed you at the morning meeting.

Yeah, Max wanted me to... I wanted you at the morning meeting.

And next time. I'll be there.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Um, meeting the test results in the signature.

Yeah,

all right. Thank you, girls.

Nice and very jolly.

Who says science can't be fun?

As long as it's a science they're amused by.

You were lighting Amy's fire, sir.

Come on.

Rachel?

Mrs James is Felicity's. She wants to talk to Lindsay.

Oh, great, that's good.

Is there a problem?

Oh, no, I have to come in. I just want to make sure the girls are kept up to

date with developments as well.

I just didn't know.

There was no way that I had to ask permission.

No, of course you don't.

Good. Okay.

Alison. Hi. I'm Rachel Mason. Thank you so much for coming. No problem. Funny to

talk Lindsay through her statements anyway.

How's she doing?

That's hard to tell because she's not on the screen.

Right. I've been marking your vocab tests and you're still eighth.

Still seem to be getting into a bit of a lather regarding your genders. You've

got half your masculines down as feminine, half your feminines down as

masculine. And Mr.

Denthal here seems to have created an entirely new gender pronoun, which is

somewhere down the middle.

Bisexual, that, innit?

That's from Miss Lipset.

Are you going to read it? It might be important.

Yes, thank you, Carla. That'll be all.

I'm getting sick of this. I want to see her.

Sorry, that's just not possible until after the trial, not with you being a

witness. Great, great. So I stick up for Mum and I don't get to see her or I

don't bother and I can visit her while she rots? I'm afraid that's pretty much

it. Lindsay, what you've got to remember is that I'm giving evidence you are

helping your mum's case.

Yeah, they should be coming home soon.

Lindsay, I have to tell you, you may have to prepare yourself for the worst.

Is that supposed to mean?

Well, you say your mum lashed out at your dad because he was hitting her.

he was.

But when your mum was examined after she was arrested, she didn't have any

injuries. So?

He was smart. He always hit her where it didn't show. Lindsay, there's no record

of your dad's violence. Your mum never sought treatment for any injuries, never

went to the police. Surely that's not unusual.

No, it's not, but we're pleading provocation. We can't do that on here.

Are you saying I'm lying? I'm not, but when you're on the stand... Look, I saw

him do it hundreds of times. But Emily didn't.

In her statement after your father's death, she says your mum and dad were

happy. She made no mention of violence. What does it matter what she thinks? Is

Moose going to get caught? It matters because we are arguing that your mother

killed your father because she reacted in that moment to an imminent threat to

her life.

And the prosecution are going to do everything in their power to prove that

isn't true, even if that means calling your little sister to testify.

And if Emily goes in that witness box and repeats what she said in her initial

statement, your mum doesn't stand a chance.

So?

What, you think she might not get off?

Not unless there's anything, anything else you can think of that could explain

what happened that day.

No, nothing.

Am I done?

Go on.

I'll catch up with you.

I've got to see Mead.

What, break?

He's helping me with coursework.

Oh, he can help me any time. He's fit.

I thought you were supposed to be good at science. I am. So how come you're

making me do extra?

I don't know.

He wants to get me into uni.

Yeah, well, just watch him.

Oh, what, you think he fancies me? Well, I don't know.

You have got some seriously weird ideas.

Mead's not like that.

They're all like that.

I'm beginning to think everyone's right about you.

Just as batty as you must.

Hey!

Get off us!

What's going on?

It's alright, I'm fine.

Kula, now!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Rachel, Lindsay James. She's in the cooler.

Well, I saw her half an hour ago. She had Vicky McDonald up against the

Thanks, Tom.

I'll just have a couple of words.

Okay.

Talk to me.

Lindsay.

I do understand that you're having a tough time at the moment. That does not

entitle you to take your anger out on another student. I cannot have violence

this school. Do you understand?

Sorry.

What?

What happened?

Were you upset about what the solicitor said?

I'm here to help. I'm on your side.

You're running out of allies in the staff room and in the playground.

Anything else?

Take a bit of time to get yourself together.

And I want you to go back to class.

And if in future you feel like lashing out again, I want you to remove yourself

from the situation and come to see me.

Okay?

Eh, that's more like it.

Right, you get off to class.

I'll print it up. Oh, thanks.

Oh, did you get on for a look at those perspectives I gave you? Yeah, they were

good. Do you want to try that again, with a bit of enthusiasm?

It's just... These unis, a bit far away, aren't they?

Last time I heard, you couldn't wait to get out of Rochdale.

Oh, I know.

I still can't.

The brochures make it seem like it's coming really fast.

I've got so much stuff to do before I can go to uni.

Hey, look, we're not even at the applying stage yet.

This time next year, you might have decided you don't even want to do

Oh, no, I do.

The course looks great.

Okay, well, let's concentrate on getting the grades, which means showing up at

class and getting the work done.

There'll be plenty of time to worry about the practicalities when you get a

definite offer.

I suppose.

Look, I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to get going.

Okay. See you later.

Please. I'm wondering if we could have extra classes like her.

It's a bit different. Vicky's doing A -level. Well, we want to do A -levels

day. We want to be chemists when we leave school. Yeah, like selling make

and tissues and that.

Okay. Well, you prove to me that you're serious and I'll be delighted to give

you all the help you need. Great.

You know that periodic table in the back of your books?

Learn it. What, all of it?

Then we can talk.

Hello, Vicky McDonald's phone.

Yeah, is she there?

No, I'm sorry, she's not here at the minute. Can I take a message?

Tell her she's late for work.

Am I a genius or what?

Has anybody seen Vicky MacDonald?

Lady?

With no already.

Pardon?

She's not here. She's gone to work.

Work? She should be in class.

Yeah.

So should I.

Hang on.

Do you want to tell me what's going on? Just one third.

You're not the only bloke who wants a knife all over.

Sorry.

Wrong number.

Do you get my note?

Note? No.

No, I don't think so. It's like needing a year ten coursework for lunchtime.

Oh, the coursework. Is that all you wanted?

Why, what else would it be?

Dev, listen, if you want to talk about what happened... No, no, no, I don't.

would I?

Just as long as I strive.

Absolutely.

Ina, I'm looking for someone. Vicky MacDonald.

I think she works here, behind the bar or something.

OK, well, can I speak to the manager?

It's not in yet.

Do you want a drink while you wait?

A Coke.

Shut up.

Do you want budging coming over?

You're right. You're just jealous because your girlfriend fancies Mr Meat.

Er, it... Excuse me, I do not. This was your idea.

Right, shut down your computer.

I

need

to get moving. I'll come back later, yeah?

Actually, can you give my card to your manager?

Ask him to give me a call.

Work or mobile.

Whatever.

Vicky?

No, Vicky, I need to speak to you. Oi.

Hang on, mate. Get off me.

Get off me. Vicky, I need to speak to you. Get off me. What's that?

Look, you don't understand. I need to speak to the girl in there. She knows

and I need to speak to her. Get off me.

Shit. I need to speak to the girl in there.

Ah. Miss Mason. Sorry, Granny, not now.

If you're happy to have a member of staff laid open to ridicule for the

delectation of any member of the general public who happens to be in possession

of an internet connection.

What?

I direct you to the school website. A video posted under the Meet the Teachers

section.

Mr Mead.

Hey.

Where do you think you're going? Didn't have you down as a perv. It's what you

lot do at lunchtime. They can't get a quick damp. Don't you dare try and turn

this on to me. I came here to find you.

What are you doing in there?

Working.

And what's your excuse?

Vicky, you're a kid.

How do you know where I was?

Well, you've been through my phone.

Yeah, and I'm glad I did, Vicky. Why are you working here? Because I like it.

Oh, come off it.

It's good money.

Is it really worth it?

I don't do extras.

You know what?

We're not going to have this conversation.

I've got my car.

We'll see what Miss Mason has to say about this. What's it got to do with

She's done worse.

Don't even go there. Move it.

What's she going to do?

Miss Mason?

Well, first off, she'll start by letting the police know what's going on. What's

it got to do with her?

You're 16 years old, working in a lap -dancing bar. What part of that do you

think is legal? So my dad's going to find out? The world and its mother will

find out if the papers get hold of it.

So everyone at school will know?

I thought you had nothing to be ashamed of. Oh, come on.

No, wait!

What will it take for you not to tell?

Sorry?

I'll do anything.

Anything you want. Whoa, what are you doing?

We're going to pretend that that didn't happen.

Now, come on.

Um, hydrogen.

H. L. I.

Lithium. K. Mr. Mead about? Lithium. Yep.

Uh, no.

What are you two up to?

Uh, periodic table.

Are you serious? I'm impressed.

Good to see you interested in your studies there. Well, Mr. Mead says if we

learn it, he'll give us private lessons.

Sorry? What?

You know, like he gives them girls at lunchtime.

Complicate. A .R. Take that outside, please.

Take it outside.

Abby. Abby, we love you.

Right.

Out. You can't do this.

Just watch me.

Don't say I don't give you a chance.

You all right, girls?

Is that me? You tell anyone about this, and I mean anyone, then I'll tell them

my side of the story.

What are you talking about?

You've been after me for ages.

Lindsay was saying that to me before.

She reckons that you fancy the pants off me. I told her she was just being soft,

but now... I'm not so sure.

All those extra lessons you're giving me.

And then you're just turning up at my work. That is ridiculous.

No -one's going to believe that, Vicky. Well, they're going to have to. There

are lots of cameras in that club. They get everything.

Teachers sneaking in at lunchtime.

Teachers perving on pupils.

And there's...

The pictures that I've got of us two.

What pictures?

Vicky!

Our secret, yeah?

Yeah,

it's this one again.

Well, do you know what time she'll be out of it?

I've already left a message. Please call me.

No, I'll find it myself.

Thanks. Where are you off to?

Dentist.

Rachel. Oh, good. I've been looking for you. You're not going to believe the

morning I've had. Really? Well, I'm afraid it's not about to get any better.

Now, tell me, do you know anything about this?

Is that me?

It's bits of you.

Who did this?

I don't know.

But whoever it was has posted it on the school website.

What? Hang on.

That could be any member of staff on that screen. Oh, Christopher, don't be

naive. I mean, it's hardly likely anyone's going to devote that kind of

to a video of Grantley, is it? What are you saying?

Look, you're young and you're attractive. You know you're going to get

your fair share of attention.

It's your responsibility not to encourage that. I don't. Well, that's

I've been observing recently.

What?

Look,

you just... You need to pull back from the kids a bit, you know? Make sure they

know the boundaries.

And next time you feel like running one -to -one sessions with pupils outside of

lesson times, I need it logged in advance.

I hope that you're not saying that my behaviour is inappropriate.

I'm saying... that if someone makes an accusation, I don't know whether I'll be

in a position to defend you.

All right, Mr Bede?

You're there.

Okay, book's out.

Page 17.

Vicky? A word, please.

What's that?

We need to sort this out.

It is sorted.

No. No, it's not.

I can't turn a blind eye to you working at that place. I told you, it's not a

big deal.

How can you say that?

Even laying aside the legal aspects and the fact that you're skipping school to

go there, you need to look at what this job is doing to you.

What? You behave in a certain way and then men are going to treat you that

Are you listening to me?

Look, I'm just trying to help you here.

Then keep your mouth shut.

You'd be helping yourself and all.

You just can't stop yourself, can you?

Where's that going? Lady Bounciful's cashing in her assets.

Sorry, needs must.

Now, what am I supposed to do about me latte in the mornings?

Latte? That's a bit girly for you, isn't it, Steph?

Would have thought a big butch pint of lager would have been more your scene

these days, eh?

Have you told him about the other night?

Why not?

Look, Steph, I told you I was happy to talk about it. I don't want to talk

it. I just want to forget about the whole thing. What little I can remember

it. Fine.

But hiding your true self away from your colleagues isn't really the answer.

Look, do you want to know how I came out?

A friend of mine decided to tell my entire university year group that I

for the other side.

And I was mortified.

But it would have to be great because I could finally be myself

So that friend of mine she did me a favor

and maybe Maybe I can

It's Bolton Springs Party on Saturday, if you look for it.

I'm working on Saturday.

Right, well, it doesn't start till later, so... I work till late.

So when do you work?

Doesn't matter. Sorry, I was just asking.

Get off my case, all right?

You know what?

Forget it.

Vicky. Lindsay, can I have a word?

What's poppin' here, Charlie?

You not got anything else to do?

Not at the minute, no, I haven't.

I told you.

I don't know anything else about what happened that day.

Well, actually, that isn't why I asked to see you.

But since you brought it up, I have been wondering whether... whether you'd like

me to tell Emily about the possibility of her being called up as a witness for

the prosecution, or would you rather tell her that yourself? No, no -one's

to tell her, cos it's not going to happen.

That isn't what the solicitor thinks.

And I think Emily needs to be prepared for it.

So what did you want to see me about?

To tell you...

That you can talk to me. That you don't have to keep everything bottled up. Yes,

I am.

I spoke to Emily this morning.

She tells me you don't want to talk about your dad.

Now, I understand how hard it is to lose someone, even under normal

circumstances, but to shut down your feelings like this, it just makes it

for you. I'm fine.

And it makes it harder for Emily, too.

Because she needs you, Lindsay. She needs to know that you're there for her

she wants to talk about what happened or any... I just think if you could be

honest about your real feelings, it'll make it easier for you, it'll make it

easier for Emma. Shut up!

What? Just shut up about her, I'm sick of it!

Emily this, Emily that, I don't even know what's best, my own sister!

I didn't say that. No, no, and don't you ever tell me how to look after her,

because that is all I've ever done.

You don't know nothing about me, or any of my family, you don't know crap!

Lindsay! Shut up, OK?

Get back here. Come on. Rachel, leave.

I know what I'm doing, Max.

Yeah, well, how about you leave her alone?

How about you let me do my job?

What's that? Winding up students?

You all right?

Sorry.

About before I sent you a text.

I know.

I didn't get it. Mead had my phone.

Do you know what?

I think you're right about him.

He does fancy me.

He's always around me, trying to touch me up and stuff.

Pervy or what?

I've got to go.

Show it, don't get it.

Okay, let's have a look.

But we don't know if it goes to... No, it's one of them.

I thought it was that one. Okay, right, all these are off the line.

Lindsay, shouldn't you be in class?

You go near my little sister, I swear, I'll kill you. What are you talking

about? Get away from me, Tito!

What did you just say? I haven't tried to deny it! Vicky told me. You get your

kicks out of touching up kids, do you? No, whatever Vicky's saying, she is

lying. Where have I heard that before?

Lindsay, get back here right now! You can't be on that sex offender's

I haven't done anything wrong!

Five new people have turned up. Are you dead excited?

That's one word for it.

Listen, if I'm rubbish... You are, Bea. You'll be brilliant.

Come on, give them hell.

Ladies and gentlemen, the very funny Philip Ryan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right, nice to see everyone. Nice day for it.

OK, comedy is what you came here for. And comedy is exactly what you're going

get. So get on with it.

Thank you, Michaela.

OK, two cows in a field. One says to the other one, moo.

The other one says, hey, I was going to say that.

Ah, have you seen Rachel?

What's it about?

We're keeping secrets now, are we?

No, it's just, um, I'm having a bit of bother with one of the kids. You're

to Rachel for advice about it? It's Vicky MacDonald.

She's having a few problems at home.

This is a school, Chris, not a flaming counselling service.

Kids come here to get away from the crap that's going on at home. Yeah, but it's

not always that straightforward, is it?

You're even starting to sound like Rachel now.

You're not going all touchy -feely on me, are you?

If you want to get ahead, don't take advice from Rachel Mayton.

Good night, Joyce.

Good night, Mr Tyler.

Joyce.

Have we got a home address for Vicky MacDonald?

You're home early.

Sorry, I've just got to go and check on my staff.

Have I come into the wrong house?

Two snowmen in a field. One said to be the one.

Can you smell carrots?

It's cos we... OK, I've been Philip Ryan. Thank you and good night.

You call that a comedy?

Sorry, Roswell, that was crap.

Hey, come on, don't.

It's not her fault, it's mine.

You should have been brave enough to tell her that I'm about as funny as a

in a lift.

Things you do to get people to like you.

I've not got anything else going for me, have I?

I mean, there's a picture of my face up in the hospital that stops them from

using a stomach pump.

Yeah, I mean, never been much of a looker. When I was a kid, I was that

Fell over, cut my knee, gravy came out.

Bisto all down me leg. Terrible.

Vicky.

What are you doing here?

Aren't you in enough trouble? I just wanted to let you know I'll be reporting

what happened to Miss Mason later today.

To what?

I'm just giving you the chance to tell your mum and dad yourself.

Before you get a call from the school in the morning. No, you can't.

I've told you, I'll tell Mason on you.

I'll have Lindy to back me up your loose job. Yeah, and if I don't say anything,

I might as well not have a job.

But, Vicky, even though I've been unbelievably stupid today, I still have

of care over you. What?

You want to lie, then you go ahead.

But I have to tell the truth. I should have done it hours ago.

No, please, sir.

Yeah, well, I don't reckon he'll be delighted.

But once you tell him your reasons why you thought you needed... I can't.

I need the money for him.

OK.

Let me just say my piece and then I'll be off.

If you have any notions of dragging me out of the closet or forcing me to join

your ladies rugby team or whatever, then park them, because I am straight as a

die.

As a die.

Straight as a die.

I know.

What exactly do you think happened between us the other night, Steph?

Well, obviously I was a touch worse for wear and you pounced.

You got the first bit right.

Well, I was in your bed.

Because you fell asleep and you started dribbling all over my new sofa, so it

was either shift you or get you to pay the dry cleaning bill.

What, so we didn't actually do... No.

Oh, I can't tell you.

I'm so relieved.

So I'm not actually a... And you and me, we're fine?

Of course we are.

And if you ever stay over at my house again, rest assured, you will be

safe.

I'm not into old women.

Older. Age.

Age.

Your mum took the lot.

She would have took me and all.

But I wanted to stay at Waterloo Road.

Get my exams.

With you.

You can't tell my dad about the club.

He'll be mortified.

He's shamefaced enough since mum left.

How's he going to feel when he finds out how I've been paying the bills?

Well, where does he think the money's coming from?

He thinks I'm working at a supermarket.

Well, what about him? Isn't he earning?

Hasn't been for ages.

He's got arthritis.

It's flared up since Mum left.

That's another reason I need the money.

I need to pay for a care for when I go to uni.

Vicky, does anyone know about this?

That you're looking after your dad's social services? Anyone?

No. Why would they?

Because there are benefits that you and your dad could be claiming.

No, we're not spongers. I can manage.

By working in a strip club. It pays well.

It doesn't seem like the right idea at the time.

I know.

It's when they try and touch me.

When I'm dancing.

My hands are dead sweaty.

I'll make some calls. I'll see what your dad's entitled to.

And I'll see what support we can sort out for you as well.

You know what?

I should go.

I shouldn't even be here. I won't tell.

Yeah, well, I will. From now on, I'm playing everything by the book.

For your sake as much as mine.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Why on earth didn't you just come and talk to me about it?

What? Before or after you tore a strip off me for being too familiar with the

pupils.

But these last few weeks, I've never enjoyed teaching more.

And for a couple of hours this afternoon, I thought I was going to lose

I still could.

But I would totally understand if you want me to step down.

I don't think that's necessary.

But you did screw up.

You just can't blow the pounders like that. I need to be able to rely on you.

You can.

Absolutely.

Well, I'll call in Vicky and her father first thing in the morning and we'll

take it from there.

That's great.

Thank you.

Where are you going?

Oh, sorry. I thought we were done.

No, we're not. I need to peep brains about something.

Max.

Oh, right.

In the pub.

That was lovely.

Thanks, Georgia.

Believe me, I didn't do a thing.

Right, I'll clear away.

No, let me.

I've been sat here all night.

You don't have to try and impress him, you know. I'm not.

Well, I don't recall you ever going to this much effort for anyone else I've

brought home. Yeah, well, they weren't my dad, were they?

Right.

Shall we get this turntable set up, then? I've got homework.

No, come on, you can have a night off. I'm sorry.

Help yourself to wine.

Night. Night.

Sorry, um, I think someone's holding out for a happy ending.

Yes.

Well, I hope you told him if we got together it'd be anything but.

Don't worry. The last thing I want is you and your dreadful vinyl collection

moving in here.

Talking of which.

Oh, no.

You ready?

You know what? Why don't, um... Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you

You sure you don't want me to stay?

No. We'll be all right.

I'll see you in five minutes.

What's this that's sitting?

That grass dry.

I wonder if my mum was there.

when I was 11.

When mum was out.

I called it a game.

But it wasn't.

It didn't feel right.

But I didn't have to stop.

So you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to. He told me not to tell

Mum because she'd hate me.

He said she'd be jealous.

That he loved me more than her.

It's all my fault. It is not your fault. Don't you ever think that.

It is.

It's okay.

Lindley, it's going to be okay.

I love this.

You always were a rebel without a cause.

Beats being an old hippie.

What? You used to make a patchouli.

Yeah, it was white musk, actually. I don't recall you complaining.

Joshie's going to be all right, isn't he?

May not have been in his life all that time.

Enough. I just feel I should make up for lost time.

He's a great kid.

Well, why wouldn't he be?

Look at the genes.

My brain. Your good looks.

I always knew he'd have a perfect baby.

I want all credits here. You were right.

Do you really mean that?

Are you glad I got pregnant?

Well, if you'd have told me at the time, I'd have probably had a heart attack.

But now you've... You've given me the opportunity to be a proper dad.

What isn't great about that?

To dodgy condoms.

To turkey basters.

What?

Sorry, forget it. It was a bad joke.

Well, if it is, I don't get it. Well, like I said, it was bad. Forget it.

Have another glass. Oh, hold on. You can't let that one go.

Well, look, Tom, it was just a stupid comment. Well, yeah, I know that, but

do you mean by it? Well, you know, nothing, like I said. Why do you say it?

look, who cares? You know, the point is that we've got a great kid. Does it

really matter how it happened?

Well, yeah, it does.

Well, up until 20 seconds ago, I had no idea that maybe a kitchen implement was

involved in the equation.

Don't be so cruel. Well, you started it.

What are you saying? Look, I'm saying I wanted your child.

Okay? So shoot me.

What?

You stop.

You used me. Look, Tom.

Get off your high horse.

You know, it's not like I jumped you for sex.

You wanted it as much as I did. Well, I didn't want a child.

Yeah, well, do you know what? Sometimes you don't always get what you want in

life. Do you want to think about that next time you jump into bed with

Get out of here. Oh, look, don't go. Don't make this into a big deal, because

isn't. For who, exactly?

Does he know about this? No, he doesn't, and he mustn't know.

You swear to me that you won't tell him.

Imagine how it's going to make him feel if he knew.

Well, you should have thought about that 15 years ago. Look, don't go.

He needs a father.

Don't take that away from him. Oh, you've already done that. All by

I think they need this.

Thanks.

I just did not see that coming.

Absolutely no idea.

How could you?

So, what happens now?

Well, I call the designated officer in the morning, I guess.

Lindsay's going to have to be interviewed.

Oh, Chris, there's going to be a medical examination.

As if she hasn't been through enough, eh?

And what about Emily?

Was she... It was just Lindsay, as far as I can establish.

Oh, Chris.

Emily will be interviewed too, won't she? Just to make sure.

Well, that's going to do to her. I do not know. She absolutely worshipped her

dad.

When all this comes out in the trial... Yeah, well, it certainly impacts on the

case.

I just wish she'd felt she could talk to me sooner, you know, or that I'd sucked

it out.

I mean, it's all fine.

We all did.

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