Original subtitles

Dear Izzy, I spent all night thinking things over.

Tom and I were never going to work.

Deep down, I've always known that.

I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you.

You and Tom have a real chance to be happy.

Don't throw that away because of me.

Please know that I am happy, and I will make a new life for myself.

Hey, I might even go to Australia and meet Mr. Right.

Whatever happens, let's all stay friends.

We need each other.

Lorna.

Look at that.

31 degrees in Sydney.

Lorna will be sunning herself on a beach right now.

Don't know if she's going to manage out there with her skin.

Do you really think that's where she's gone?

Australia? She used to fantasise about it all the time.

Must be somewhere nice I would hear about it.

Yeah, and here we are in rainy Rochdale.

Oh, romantic Rochdale.

Do you have to keep doing that in front of us?

Honestly, I will be glad to get back to school.

Roger, welcome.

Hello, Jack.

So, you looking forward to meeting the staff?

For sure.

I'd like you to meet my senior management team first.

This way.

Hi.

Hi.

How was Miranda?

When did you get back?

A couple of days ago.

Didn't you get my letter?

Probably right around Christmas.

Doing really great stuff out there now.

I told the kids all about you.

What about you?

Good holiday?

Yeah, yeah, good, you know, just caught up on movies, having this doubt on

friends and celebrating my divorce coming through.

Divorce? I didn't even know you were married.

No, did I not tell you? Well, why should I have?

It's all right, no, no reason.

So, hope to meet our new sponsor governor then.

God help us. It's great news, isn't it, Kim?

What?

What, you think it's OK for someone to just go and buy a slice of the school?

All right, well, I'll take a couple of pound of teachers and a couple of bags

pupils. Can you not see how... Forget I spoke.

OK?

Kim, I... I really missed you.

Impressive results you've been achieving here, Jack.

100 % improvement in our APC grade. And now we're offering A -levels. Never seen

the like of Waterloo Road, eh?

Andrew, Kim.

Mr Aspinall. Roger.

Pleasure to meet you.

What are you doing here?

We're all really grateful.

You want to put something back, don't you? Look, you all know this is what I

think. Mr Aspinall was a former pupil here himself.

So I read.

Worst days of my life, if you want to know.

But, well, now I've made it. I also heard you're going to be the new chair

the Board of Government.

The only volunteer?

Great. A board that's going to get involved.

Which brings me, neatly, to the question of my contract.

I've called an extraordinary meeting for this afternoon.

Sought out this whole headteacher issue.

Now that the discipline committee's found in my favour.

Let me show you something, Jack.

The aspinal thermal coated LW7 nut.

Titanium cobalt alloy. Can be used in temperatures exceeding 450 degrees.

If it didn't do its job...

planes would fall out of the sky.

And I need the right components to help this school take off.

Another year and not a day older, eh, Grantley?

You speak for yourself. I felt my lifeblood slipping away the minute I

back through those gates.

Hello,

stranger.

I want to hear all about your holiday.

Maybe over a... Ladies, yeah?

Well, I hope he's not going to be Mr Grumpy Dlaw's old fool.

Morning, everybody.

Welcome back to Waterloo Road.

Now, I know that some of you have heard something about the new school. Well,

this is the man behind it all, Mr Aspinall.

And I know that each and every one of you is going to do your best to make it

work. Because what we've got here is the future for some of the poorest kids in

Britain.

State -of -the -art academy with playing field and windows that can shut.

And you should see the staff room. It's like an airport lounge.

So, let's hear it for our new sponsor governor, Mr Roger Aspinall.

I'm a man of precious few words, not being intellectual like yourselves.

But I know I have to run a successful business.

And that's why the Roger Aspinall Academy is going to the top.

I hire the best staff for the job, give them the best working environment, get

the best results.

And I'm sure none of you want to work out your days catching rainwater in your

litter bins.

I hope this here meets with your approval.

Thank you.

Right,

well, it's that time of year again.

Let's hope it happens, eh?

Would you stop smiling?

Well, it makes a change, doesn't it? Somebody telling us how special we are.

What's the point, sir, to be a teacher if some widget -making egomaniac is

to come along and tell us all what to do?

Well, he came over quite humble to me. Yeah, too humble.

He'll be after a seat in the House of Lords like the rest of them. Next thing

you know, we'll be making laws governing our working conditions.

You're all talking nonsense.

Jack's still in charge of spending and staffing.

I might have guessed you'd be gung -ho.

Him.

I remember what I said.

I really missed you.

Are you up for going out tonight?

I'm meeting up with some mates. We're just going to go and have some pizza or

something. I thought you might want to come along. Great.

I love Italian food.

Well, there's pizza.

Isn't that Italian?

Yeah, just don't bang on.

Yeah, because they're just ordinary people.

They were just buying in today.

I

gather

I missed an important meeting.

I wasn't copied in on the notice.

They said we'd be back, didn't they?

Especially doing A -levels. I'm bricking it.

Oh, me too.

Easy for you, though, innit? Having Mr Clarkson as well as your mum to help you

out now.

Yeah, well, it's only if it's got to put the work in. Aw, don't go off it.

I just meant you got someone to correct it for you before you wandered in. I

mean, my mum works in a bakery.

Yeah, well, I'd rather do my homework at yours.

Help each other, yeah?

We thought you'd gone to Australia.

Australia? I did a bit of travelling, but I wasn't that adventurous.

Anyway, you two look really great.

I know I did the right thing taking myself away for a bit.

I thought you said you were going to make a whole new life for yourself,

Yeah, well, I haven't found that bloody gorgeous new husband yet.

I'm hoping to get some tips from Steph Hadock.

Well, I think you look fabulous, darling. I'm really glad to see you

You look so worried, Tom.

You could at least have given her a hug.

This isn't starting a new life. This is crashing back in on ours.

So what do you think? She should have given up her job for us as well as

everything else.

You don't know her like I do.

This is all an act.

Get real, Tom. It's as if she'd waste her time.

So, what do you think of your new hangout, then?

It's brilliant, sir.

You're welcome.

Ah, sir, the nicest room in the school.

Well, this is the man you've got to thank for it all, Mr Aspinall.

Have some of you from third -year school introduced yourselves?

Yeah, I'm Daniel Foxton.

Katie Peel.

Paul Barrowcroft. Marie Thugden.

Emily Dyson.

Abigail Wadsworth.

You got a tongue in your head?

Er, yes, I do.

Well, use it, then.

Is there anything in particular?

I asked you to introduce yourself.

Actually, strictly speaking, you asked the pupils from Fairview to introduce

themselves. I'm from Kingsmere College.

There's always one pain in the backside, isn't there? I think I'd better

introduce him.

This is my son, Brett Aspinall.

Prove how much I'm committed to bringing the best of this school.

I left Kingsmere because I wanted to.

Brett, is it?

We'll have a catch -up later, Brett.

Thought you were jammy, Mika. Having your mum and your mum's boyfriend being

teachers here.

Sure. Well, I fancy having your dad run the place.

Look, can we not even talk about my dad? He's an embarrassment to me.

Don't worry.

I know what you mean.

Don't get into an argument with him. He'll win every time.

I've learnt just to back off and let him do his own thing.

Not at this school, he won't. We'll still have him settling in. Well, you

try.

Well, better check the registers.

It's usually pretty near 100 % on the first day, then it tails off.

Not this year, it won't.

So, shall I see you off?

I should have a little wonder, shouldn't I? Get to know the place, the staff,

see what's working. Or, more importantly, what isn't it?

And I've got to stick around to chair this extra board meeting about the

headship issues.

Right, well, I'll show you around. I won't want you getting locked.

I'll be fine. At least I can do.

You're also in need of a new secretary.

Yeah, I've got a temp in.

Well, my PA's looking for a new challenge.

Davina Shackleton. Highly recommended.

I've asked her to pop by and see you this afternoon.

If she doesn't suit... Right, well, yeah, I'll give her the ones that are

Good.

Brian Nolan.

Yes, ma 'am.

Janet Seymour. Yes, ma 'am.

And Chloe Granger.

Yes, ma 'am.

That's it.

Well, it's the final GCSE year.

There'll be a couple of new faces joining us to do research.

It's going to be a lot of hard work for everybody, so I hope you're all

prepared. Miss, we don't know what kind of dick you are, Miss Clarkson.

That's what's

cool.

I just weren't sure, mate.

Okay, can anybody tell me what we mean by the word feet?

You can

use textures.

Look, miss, I'm made now out of Jordan's tits.

So now it's an eye because that's what you made it into?

Can I help you?

Mr. Atkinson was just interested in seeing what's what around the school.

Don't worry, just carry on.

Whatever it is you're doing.

Um, it's an art class.

Really?

Yeah, you know, creative stuff.

Thinking out of the box, learning to express themselves.

Play along, Ed Kim. We'll take his money and run, yeah? No, he's going to want

something in return.

You'll find our head of English has a very traditional approach.

Mr Budgin.

Well, you can't still be here.

Grantley Budgin.

You two know each other?

You taught me.

Did I?

You win a few hundred thousand dollars.

Well, you must remember me, surely.

Roger the Bodger.

Granley's not known for his political correctness.

Don't you remember telling me I was the thickest pupil you'd ever come across?

I'll tell it like it is.

I was dyslexic. I still am.

Look, I can see that Granley's offended you in the past.

Just looking at him offends me.

Should have been sacked years ago, shouldn't he?

Sacked? What, you think that's the kind of teacher we want on our payroll?

Well, he's not perfect. No, he's the same lazy, cynical bully you always was.

Look, he can control the flaming class.

I know that's got to be all and end all.

Look, Roger, obviously I'll take your concerns on board.

But staffing's my remake, yeah?

All I'm concerned about, Jack, is getting the best for this school.

Which is why it's paramount for the governance that we can trust our

headmaster's judgement.

Sir! Sir!

Look, you're busy. I'll catch up with you later.

Can I pour a coffee?

Not if it makes Tom feel uncomfortable.

It was just a bit of a shmuck, that's all.

I don't want any of us to feel guilty about anything, is he?

Life's too short.

I know that better than anyone.

It took me a bit longer than you thought to get over it all.

The day I posted those letters to you and Tom, I ended up jumping into the

canal.

Oh, my God, Lorna.

Oh, it's fine. I can talk about it now because I'm in such a different place.

Thanks to some very expensive therapy.

Hang on a minute.

You tried to kill yourself.

I knew I didn't want to as soon as I went under.

Lorna? Well, luckily for me, these two lovely gay guys jumped in and saved me.

I was so worried the police would try and contact Tom.

I can't bear this.

I meant everything I wrote.

About being friends.

I realised the only thing that made me sad was thinking I'd lost you both.

Lorna, me and Tom have lived off those letters for months.

Telling each other that you were glad to get away. Just kidding ourselves.

No, it's me who's kidding myself.

Trying to be noble.

That's why I'm telling you about my journey.

So you and Tom really believe I've come out the other end of it?

Tom's going to be devastated.

You can't tell him, is he?

I have to.

He won't know how to handle it.

Just reassure him I really am happy.

Please?

Lorna, there's something else I have to tell you about me and Tom.

I'm pregnant.

Bonjour la classe.

Right, let's find out. what you all got up to in the holidays.

Il y a quelqu 'un qui a passé le grand vacance en France?

Oui, moi j 'ai passé quelques jours � Paris.

Super.

Et comment vous appelez -vous?

Brett Aspinall.

Oh, so you're Mr. Aspinall's son?

Malheureusement pour moi.

Bon, alors, let's do some verbs.

What did you say to him?

Just talking about my dad.

Do you give lessons?

Could do, if you want.

Can I help make it?

Get all the perks going, you.

I don't know how your mum can live with herself after what she did to poor Miss

Dickie. She ran off with her husband, you know, Mr Clarkson.

Who are you then? Sex police?

You've got guts, haven't you? And some.

Hey, Tom, what do you think? Isn't she a star?

Yeah.

Right,

you never guess what card I've been cut now.

Aspinall used to be a pupil of mine.

Are you kidding?

So he tells me.

Hope you're up for a pint lunchtime.

Defo.

You've, um...

You're about to sell your place, haven't you, Lorna?

Oh, I'm booked into a B &B at the moment, but I really want to buy

Well, if you want someone to help you look. Oh, yes, please.

I don't think I'll be able to afford a house, but I think going back to

will be fun.

As long as it's totally mob -conned. Yeah.

Tom will be a great dad.

He must be so thrilled.

Yeah, he is, but... Well, you can see why he might feel a bit nervous.

Now you can tell him to stop worrying, can't you?

All right. Put your books away and stand behind your chairs.

Well, I hope you'll be teaching my son his English A -level.

He's just joined the sixth form here.

That's the head of department's job, I'm afraid.

Groundley Bodgin?

I know Mr Bodgin.

This is the desk I used to sit at when he was standing up there telling the old

class what a thicky I was.

What's your professional opinion of him, Andrew?

We've had our differences.

Don't pull your punches.

Frankly, I've already given him a verbal warning.

How did he take that?

He's a union representative.

Big deal.

I've seen off 100 union reps in my time.

And if he's not up to the job... Well, there's no denying he's in it for the

wrong reasons.

He's regularly late to his lessons, doesn't teach low -ability children,

three lunches for doing a duty, then doesn't do the duty, seems belligerently

indifferent either to moving the school board or maintaining the status quo.

Tom, are you going out for lunch?

As far away as possible.

She's been brilliant, Tom.

I told her I was pregnant and she couldn't have been nicer about it.

Yeah? Yeah.

So you can untwist your knickers and start being nice to her.

Are you sure there's no hidden agenda?

Oh, what?

To try and win you back?

Well, I'm sorry to crush your ego, but I think she's looking forward to not

having you in your sloppy habits in a new flat.

Oh, why sloppy habits?

Do you think we could take a break from the girls tonight?

So I can take my wife to be out for dinner.

Just the two of us.

We'll see you later.

Bye.

Now, mate.

What are you going to say? Hard day. I will.

I'm looking forward to this evening.

Isn't it going to be a nightmare having to face Lorna every day?

I'm sure she feels the same.

Which don't look like it bothers her too much.

I'll speak to you later.

Oh, if I had to work with my ex and his girlfriend... Well, I know.

I'd just bottle right out.

Has your divorce come through?

Yeah. Yeah, thank God.

Right. So, all ready to play the field again, then?

See Andrew, for instance?

Or are my antennae all over the place?

We're actually going out for a meal tonight.

I thought I'd give him a chance.

Yikes.

Want me to hold your hand? Yeah, please.

He just so winds me up sometimes. He's probably going to turn me mate right

But the whole crowd was going out.

Right.

Is that wise?

Can Andrew handle crowds?

It's all coming back to me now.

Bodger Aspinall.

He was a little swine then, and he still is.

Look, mate, don't be looking for a fight, yeah? Mm -mm.

It's he who's come looking for one.

Obviously been nurturing a grievance for the last 25 years.

Are you sure you could have another?

Well, I need one, don't I?

Eh? Drown my sorrows at what a so -called Labour government has done for

education. Just ask for me, please.

Selling off schools to... Shippy little sharpsters like Aspinall.

But maybe you should make an excuse to take the afternoon off, go home.

Aye. Well, he'd love that, wouldn't he? Thinking he'd got me on the back foot.

Same again, love.

Blame it on Grantley. I can smell you a mile off.

Excuse me?

You're lucky you didn't bump him to Aspinall.

Aspinall?

Neck one of these, and smart not one yet.

Oh. I was... What, you were what?

Um... It's not for an English teacher. You're not very good at saying what you

mean.

I don't know what it is about you.

That makes you leave the power of speech?

Yes.

Right. I'll... Um, Andrew, by the way, tonight it'll just be the two of us.

I think you can tell from the broken syntax and the repetition of the word

nothing. It just builds and builds.

Oh, be still, my beating heart.

How is this possible? You're Roger Aspinall's son.

We've got the same genes, not the same personality.

Hmm.

Right, I want you, in pairs, to take these first two scenes and transcribe

into contemporary language as you'd hear your characters talking in your

television soaps. Now, you get on with that, I'll get on with a bit of marking.

Wanting.

Oh, I'm no good at this stuff.

Well, you could change nothing to now, for a start.

Speak. Now.

Now? You taking the piss?

Now.

Oh. It doesn't really make sense anymore, does it?

Well, what would you really say?

No way, ma 'am. Probably.

Sorry?

Now. Now? You taking the piss?

No way, ma 'am.

Don't you now, Mia. I'll give you sodding now.

going on what is so funny hey have you finished that

seriously though if you fancy a

french lesson want to come around tonight oh well i'm really crap but yeah

that'd be great

He's like ten times better at French than me.

So?

Just it's really me. He needs to learn more.

Yes.

Want to pull me up for something?

Grantley? What's funny?

Have them.

Have you looked in the mirror recently?

Mm -mm.

What's that? Oh, come on, you damn bugger.

Jack.

Grantley Butcher.

Look, Roger, I've said all I'm going to say on the subject, OK?

What does a teacher have to do to get sacked these days?

More than get up your nose, so forget about it.

No, even if he's just been caught drunk on the job, snoring at his desk.

And, turns out, he's already had a verbal warning, hasn't he?

Obviously, I'll need to look into this.

Look, let's skip the rigmarole, eh?

Here's what I'll do.

I'll give him money to walk, how's that?

You can't just throw money at everything.

Teach is a human being.

If you want to keep teachers like him, it's going to undermine any investment

I'm likely to put into this school.

Look, Roger, if it's an apology you want, I'll get you one, OK?

We want a total change of attitude from him, Jack.

And we want him out.

And I should hope you want the same, if you're up to your remit.

You're not expecting payment for today.

Been talking to Roger, have you?

About Brownlee Bludgeon.

What do you think you're playing at, siding with him against me?

You're being ridiculous.

I'm trying to help you achieve our target.

You'll never get Brownlee pulling his weight.

He's a drag on the whole department.

Look, mate, just face -back. You cocked up at the worst possible time for me

here. Well, we know the full facts, do we?

Such as who was the scribe that assaulted me. Because my money's on it

Aspinall's cocky little son. It doesn't matter a damn who did it.

Gently.

Obviously, there's some big changes coming round here.

It's not an option to sit it out and snipe.

If you want, Red Jack, just be brave enough to say.

Listen to me.

No one needs to tell me that Aspinall's a pompous arse, but he's a rich pompous

arse, and I can't afford to lose his money.

All you've got to do is shake the bloke's hand and tell him you're on

Treneman's broken your spine, hasn't he?

That's me off to take a well -earned rest.

What?

I consider myself effectively dismissed.

And God help the rest of you.

You did the right thing, Jack.

Give me a break.

What's happened to Granley? He's walked.

Isn't that a good thing?

One day.

That Paul Aspinall spent at this school and we're already a teacher down.

I did my best to talk sense to Granley.

Do I gather Budgin's packed his bags?

Well, I've had a good day.

Better get to that board meeting.

Right. Actually, Jack, they've requested governors only on this one.

Same as how we're discussing your contract.

I'll give you a bell how it goes.

Right.

Good luck with your contract.

Mr Rimmer? Yeah.

I'm Davina Shackleton.

Mr Aspinall said I should look in on you.

Hiya, Jack.

Come in, take a seat.

Not your typical school sackie?

What's typical?

No Mr Aspinall long, have you?

Long enough.

Look, Divina.

Between you and me, I'm looking for someone who's going to be dedicated to

job. And I'm just not getting the impression that's going to be you.

Right.

Well, at least let me help you out of your present crisis.

Jack Rimmer.

Should he be made permanent head? That's the question.

You all know why we're here. For those of you who haven't met me, I...

He had that misconduct

hearing.

Izzy, you're not going to believe this.

What? I've just had a call from my B &B. They've got a plumbing problem. It's

all coming back up the sewage. Oh, no.

Yeah, they can't get it fixed till tomorrow, so I've got to go and get my

out of there.

What, you have to move out?

I couldn't spend the night at yours, could I?

You've got that little box room, you know, where you keep all your crap.

It's still got a spare bed in it, hasn't it?

Yeah, it has, but... Honestly, I don't mind if it's a squash.

I don't think it's a good idea.

Oh.

Well, you know what I mean. I just... I don't want to make things awkward

between us again. And it's not just us, it's the girls. I don't know how they'd

feel. It's only for one night, but, um... Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't

think. Please, don't worry about it.

Let me just run it past Tom.

No, no, no, honestly, I can go to a hotel.

Are you joking?

There's no way. It's only for one night. I don't care.

Do you not think we should care?

Look, I wasn't 100 % happy when she asked. Well, she shouldn't have asked

should she?

We're her friends.

I said that I didn't think it was a good idea, but... Well, now I just feel dead

guilty knowing that you're saving up to buy your flat and... We're supposed to

be going out for dinner tonight.

Well, can't we go out tomorrow night?

It's your house.

I'll go along with whatever you want.

I just have to hope we're not being paranoid.

I look forward to working with you, Sabina.

And like I said, what goes on inside that office stays between us only, yeah?

See you next week, then.

Who's that?

Steph.

My new secchi. One of Aspinall's staff.

Forced her onto me. Oh, doesn't look very professional to me.

You sure he's not trying to bin off his bit on the side? Estelle left me in the

lurch. Don't have much of a choice about it, yeah?

I just hope I can keep my own job.

What do you mean? I thought it was all sorted.

Yeah, well, they're keeping me waiting on the contract, aren't they?

Board's in a meeting about it now.

Well, why don't you wait in the pub, eh?

Let me buy you a large one.

Oh, go on.

Come on.

Ray, English tea. just in the one hour. It's only for one night.

Everyone's going to take me a right bunch of weirdos.

We are.

I get enough snidey comments already.

Lorna's our friend, Mika.

You said you thought she wasn't even coming back. Never mind, she's moving

Shall we just get in the car? It's nobody else's business.

You're mad.

Anyway, I'm going out tonight so I won't be there to see you.

Fine.

I've been trying to call you on your mobile.

Oh, I've still got to switch it off.

Tricky situation, Andrew.

You know I'm very impressed with you.

And I understand you've already completed your qualification for

My MPQH, yes, I have.

Whereas Rym is still working on it, yeah?

Well, the board's concluded his secondment shall be terminated.

The headship will be advertised nationally. He'll be free to put himself

it if he wants.

Does Jack know about this?

I'll be giving him a call. And I hope he'll be happy to resume his permanent

position as deputy without any loss of salary.

Sorry?

In the meantime, Andrew, I want you to take over the reins as acting head.

Sorry, but it's out of the question.

Jack employed me as his deputy. Look, Andrew... I can't do that. Just ask

yourself this.

Did you join Waterloo Road to save Jack Rimmer?

Or save the school?

I'm so glad I got this new top.

Marlowe, I'll say.

Must be posh.

I don't care if you live in a caravan. It's gorgeous.

Must really like you. He's asked you out already.

He does?

It's making Leanne Calloway so jealous.

Yeah, I wish I could go out. Just going to stay in my room and watch telly. Keep

out of their way.

You told anyone Mum's pregnant?

No. I don't even want Dante knowing.

I wouldn't mind having a little brother or sister, but... Yeah, but?

Well, they could have at least waited till he got divorced.

Yeah, they don't care how it makes us look.

Anyway, had our luck.

Bang in.

What's taking him so long?

Should be a case of just rubber stamping me contract.

I'm pretty confident I've got Aspen on support.

Well, I'm just hoping I've got yours, Jack. I mean, you do owe me a bit of

gratitude after saving your life.

Fancy another, then, may I say, Doc?

Oh, here we go.

For anyone.

Jack, if you don't want to, you know, run into any of the other teachers right

now... My place is just around the corner with a free bar.

To the house.

Ooh, that'll do nicely, madam. Thank you. Can you believe this? Thanks. I got

around the school. They think Tom was running a hurry.

Oh, in his dreams.

You got all your stuff out of the B &B OK, then? Yes, apart from the towels I

donated to the mopping -up operation.

I only hope you can't smell it on me.

Actually, Lorna, you do with a bit.

I don't, do I?

Oh, you.

We can always wash it off with this, eh?

Yeah.

I know a girl with a golden touch.

She's got enough, she's got too much.

But I know you wouldn't mind.

I'll get it.

You could have it all if you wanted.

Hey, Mika.

Hiya.

This is where you live?

Amazing.

Do you want to go through?

Hi, Mika.

Isn't it great a break to write us over?

Yeah. Great for me you both came.

Oh,

Mr Wimmer!

Oh,

just leave it, Jack.

I better get back.

Roger,

all sorted?

Bad news, I'm afraid, Jack. The committee's ruled against you.

You can always reapply for the job, but in the meantime, we've asked Andrew

Trenneman to stand in as acting head.

You've got to be joking.

This is it.

Wow, this is brilliant.

Cocktails, you name it, I'll mix it.

Ooh, I'll have a between -the -scenes one, please.

Ooh, me too.

Mika?

Can I have a Diet Coke?

OK. A Diet Coke?

Come on, Mika. This is happy hour.

I don't need alcohol to be happy. When Brett's offering us cocktails.

Er, mate, a weak one, if you like. Yeah, go on, Brett.

One's not going to work you, is it, Mika?

Yeah, all right.

Hey, we should be speaking French, shouldn't we?

Eh? Oh, what we're supposed to be here for, isn't it?

Okay. Well, I would just say, between the sheets and French bread.

Entrez les draps.

Entrez les draps.

And I would just say, can I have a go at shaking the shaker?

Be my guest.

I can't believe your dad wanted to talk to me like that. He's lucky I talked to

him at all.

Yeah, but it'll give you a hard time about it in the morning. Forget about

Mika. This is my place.

And the only rule in my faith

is...

Sorry,

I'm late.

Anything to do with work?

Is red ale okay for you?

Absolutely.

So do you want to decide what you're going to have?

Right.

What are we doing to start it?

Well, we've got olive pho.

Right.

I will have an Italian hot.

Oh, really?

Hmm? Now, I was absolutely dead sure that you were going to have a classic

Napolitana. And should.

Well, obviously I haven't got you tough at all.

So what do you reckon I'm having?

I think you're having... Well, I think you'll say you're having anything other

than what I might guess, because you'd hate me to be right.

You've got me so wrong.

Well, here's hoping to get to know you better.

Hey, Mika.

Come on, let's have a bit of a dance.

Leave my head.

What was in that drink?

Hey, Mika, what's this?

Hey, Brett.

do the same. I can't.

What are you doing?

I'm resting.

Yeah, but it's not funny.

You don't need to wet your knickers.

You're an evil coward.

Hey.

I want to go home.

It's okay. Don't rush on. I told you I didn't want a drink. Look, we've all had

a bit too much to share. Yeah.

What if you get nasty with us? I'm not.

It's you.

I was actually going to guess vegetariana.

Can I ask you about your marriage?

He's my best friend's brother, Tony.

I only really married him to his mum, though.

So he's having a tough time with my brother, Chris.

Being gay.

There's loads of...

rubbish in our family now, stupid religion.

Anyway, big mistake.

Sorted.

Learned the lesson.

I suppose I'm lucky in that respect.

My parents have always been much more interested in their own love lives than

their children's.

So, if you don't mind me asking, any significant relationships in your past?

Hmm. Well, significant for me, not so significant for them.

For them?

I'm just the one, Vicky.

My questions in Rwanda.

She's happily married now and living in America.

Message from Jack to call him.

Oh, got the governor's meeting.

No, Andrew, call him.

You said you didn't want to talk about work. No, I like good news.

They're not renewing Jack's contract.

Really?

The hospital wants me to take over as acting head.

Oh, get real.

I couldn't tell you before Jack knew you.

You mean you've agreed to it?

I couldn't not agree.

To take Jack's job?

I felt duty -bound.

Duty? What?

To stab Jack in the back? To please some pompous, pain -in -the -neck

businessman? Don't go over the top. The man's triumphed over dyslexia. He's

helping disadvantaged kids.

Come on, Kim. It's about what's best for the school.

You're a total alien.

Jim.

Jack.

She's on her way.

Oh, Lorna, leave that. I'll do it in the morning. No, it's all right. You two go

on up.

Oh, I'd like to say hello to Mika.

Oh, cheers.

Night, then. Night.

but I'll tell him you've had a rethink. Can we discuss this rationally tomorrow?

There's nothing to discuss, Andrew. Call him now. Look, you're drunk.

You're not taking my bloody job.

Hello, Mika.

You all right?

Something happened.

What? Like I'm going to tell you?

There is no way she's staying here more than one night.

Why don't you clear off to bloody Australia?

Come on, let's get you up.

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