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1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,472
You're welcome.
2
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:09,210
Good night.
3
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:10,744
Wait, wait, wait.
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,247
Are you sure you don't
want me to tuck you in?
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:16,450
I don't need to be
tucked, Charlie.
6
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,618
Oh, come on,
7
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,288
everybody needs a good
tucking once in a while.
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,691
Well, then go tuck
yourself.
9
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,793
I guess I'll have to.
10
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,064
I'm not saying no,
11
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,066
I'm just saying
not now.
12
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,867
I understand.
13
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:34,835
Good night.
14
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,037
Good night.
15
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,409
How about now?
16
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,212
Funny.
17
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,216
I wasn't going for a laugh.
18
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,088
Come on, Luther.
19
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,658
Rose?
20
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,962
Nah, couldn't be.
21
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:06,167
I'm so backed up
I'm literally cockeyed.
22
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,511
Hot girl at 12:00.
23
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,516
Where?
24
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,352
Over there.
25
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:29,523
That would
be 9:00.
26
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,192
No, it's 12:00.
27
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,860
Actually, 12:05.
28
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,628
12-ish.
29
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,331
You want to straighten him out,
or should I?
30
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,300
Go ahead, take a swing.
31
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,168
Okay.
32
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,802
The reason guys
say hot girl
33
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,437
at like 12:00
or 3:00
34
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,508
is to specify a location using
the clock face as kind of a map.
35
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,577
What if you have a digital
watch?
36
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,412
First of all,
37
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,114
you're not gonna meet any women
if you wear a digital watch.
38
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,749
And second of all,
it doesn't matter.
39
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,351
The clock face is imaginary.
40
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,687
Then how do you know what time
you saw the girl?
41
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,190
(mutters)
42
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,192
You know what, I'm wrong.
43
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,894
There's a hot girl,
and it's 12:06.
44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,662
Check.
45
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,600
Hey, he likes girls
and he can tell time.
46
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,602
I'm a happy dad.
47
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,604
(cell phone rings)
48
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,608
Hello, Your Honor. What's up?
49
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,642
Your Honor?
50
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,712
Oh, your uncle's
dating a judge.
51
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:25,846
This weekend?
52
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,215
Sure, that sounds great.
53
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,617
You mean like
an American Idol judge?
54
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,718
No, a real judge.
55
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,787
American Idol judges
are real, Dad.
56
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,191
So what, we'd be staying
in adjoining rooms?
57
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,393
No, no, no, no,
one room is fine.
58
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,561
Why is he dating
a judge?
59
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,230
Is he trying to get out
of something?
60
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,165
No, more like he's trying to get
into something.
61
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,834
Good one.
62
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:47,901
You understood that?
63
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,136
Not really.
64
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,571
That's how I knew
it was good.
65
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,507
Oh, yeah,
that's a very romantic hotel.
66
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,843
I've stayed there...
never in my life.
67
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,711
Right.
68
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:58,946
Okay, talk to you later.
69
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,514
(sighs)
70
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,816
Santa Barbara.
This weekend.
71
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:03,951
One room.
72
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,953
Oh, now I get it.
73
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,621
Congratulations.
74
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,490
Thank you.
75
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,461
Son of a gun, Alan.
Look.
76
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,262
What?
77
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,463
The blonde.
Where?
78
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,331
12:08.
79
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,833
She, she looks like Rose.
80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,934
It couldn't be.
81
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:21,969
She's still in England, right?
82
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,704
Last I heard.
83
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,006
I got a postcard from her
the other day.
84
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,408
Really? What did it say?
85
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:28,876
Oh, well, let's see...
86
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:29,943
"Dear Jake, how are you?
87
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,211
"I am fine.
88
00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,079
"Hope you're doing well
in school.
89
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,847
Ha-ha."
90
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,050
I think that's a joke 'cause she
knows I struggle with my grades.
91
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,552
Let's see, what else? Oh, yeah.
92
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,421
"Say hello from England
to everybody."
93
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,357
Hello from England.
94
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,793
Well, there
you go.
95
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,827
She's in England.
96
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,095
I guess.
97
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,364
So why do I keep thinking
I see her?
98
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,399
Maybe you miss her.
99
00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:52,833
I don't think so.
100
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,935
I mean, I was a little down
when she left,
101
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,437
which is to be expected,
102
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,105
but I've got Linda now
and I've moved on
103
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,041
and why the hell am I talking
to you about my personal life?
104
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,643
Because I'm a good listener?
105
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,514
Because you have no other
friends?
106
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,182
Ha-ha?
107
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,184
After this
we're dropping him off
108
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,886
at his mother's, right?
109
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:13,554
Yep.
110
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,555
Ha-ha.
111
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,725
* Men...
112
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,709
(sighs)
113
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:42,683
ROSE:
Dear Charlie... Greetings from
faggy old London.
114
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,457
Greetings from foggy old
London.
115
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,395
Hope you're doing well and not
working too hard. Ha-ha.
116
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,063
Things are going great for me.
117
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,800
I love my job and my flat
and my new friends.
118
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,670
Sometimes my life in Malibu
feels like a crazy dream.
119
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,873
I hope you can forgive me
for all my bizarre behavior
120
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,275
and know that I will always
remember you fondly.
121
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,344
Your friend, Rose.
122
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,880
PS: Give my best to Alan.
123
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,183
I'm sure by now he's found
a place of his own. Ha-ha.
124
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,086
What you got there?
125
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,188
It's a letter from Rose.
126
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,256
Really? That come today?
127
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,692
Nah, a few months ago.
128
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,660
I just never got around
to reading it.
129
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,763
I noticed you
didn't toss it out.
130
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,599
What's that supposed to mean?
131
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,701
Charlie, of all
the broads
132
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,037
who staggered
bare-ass through
these hallowed halls,
133
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,006
she's the one who
really got to you.
134
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,341
Yeah, she got to me.
135
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,976
She put a sleeping pill
in my scotch
136
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,546
and superglued my testicles
to my leg.
137
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:48,081
You just can't get past that,
can you?
138
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,017
Well, it doesn't matter.
139
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,286
I'm in a real relationship now
with an incredible woman--
140
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,788
a judge,
a Constitutional scholar,
141
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,525
a woman who may one day
may be a state senator.
142
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,993
But does she care
enough to line her mittens
143
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,830
with hair she collects
from your shower drain?
144
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,998
I don't know yet.
We're going slow.
145
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,500
Really?
146
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,136
Yes. We're getting to know
each other as people
147
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,705
before we jump into bed
and get to know each other
148
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,741
as, you know, animals.
149
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,276
Just do me a favor and make the
first time at her place,
150
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,946
'cause you're gonna spring
forth like a water wiggle.
151
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,560
(piano playing gently)
152
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:44,304
* Some say love, it is a river
153
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:50,711
* That drowns the tender reed
154
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:58,986
* Some say love,
it is a razor *
155
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:05,559
* That leaves your soul
to bleed *
156
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:13,901
* Some say love,
it is a hunger *
157
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:22,543
* An endless, aching need
158
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:29,650
* I say love, it is a flower
159
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:40,694
* In the spring,
becomes the Rose. *
160
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,029
ALAN:
Charlie?
( music stops)
161
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,797
Charlie?
What?
162
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,236
I need your help.
163
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,638
If you're doing laundry,
164
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,741
all I can say
is you're doing it wrong.
165
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,510
No, no, the lady
I've been seeing,
166
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,111
you know,
Linda's friend Donna?
167
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:03,416
Uh, she wants to-- how shall we
say-- take it up a notch.
168
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,718
Yeah, so?
169
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,020
I'm out of notches.
170
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,756
What do you need?
171
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,358
A younger man's penis.
172
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,694
Ah. My nightstand,
173
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,963
top drawer, next to the
ping-pong paddle...
174
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,465
take one with water
and stall her for 20 minutes.
175
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,567
Thanks.
176
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,002
Alan?
Yeah?
177
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:22,903
Don't those hurt?
178
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,337
Hell, yeah.
179
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,739
Why don't you take 'em off?
180
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,875
There's a penalty involved.
181
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,678
Long story.
182
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,115
I can tell ya how it ends.
183
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,552
* Men.
184
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,524
Lovely dinner.
185
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,827
Yeah, the food was great.
186
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,597
It's a beautiful room.
187
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,965
Yeah, room's great.
188
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:54,802
Nice view.
189
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,205
Yep, view's great.
190
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,581
(moans)
191
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,849
(knocking at door)
192
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,684
Oh, for God's sake.
193
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,952
Who is it?
194
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,954
WOMAN: (Latina accent):
Room service, señor.
195
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,657
We didn't order anything.
196
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,893
Uh, champagne,
compliments
of the hotel.
197
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,929
Can you slip it under the door?
198
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,063
Charlie.
199
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:27,735
Don't move.
Don't change your mind.
200
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,106
(mouthing)
201
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,178
You want I open?
202
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,179
No, thank you.
203
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,581
Okay, good night.
204
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,784
Gracias.
205
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,229
Charlie...
206
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,398
Yeah?
207
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,500
I'm waiting.
208
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,368
For what?
209
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,105
Oh, right.
210
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,108
Hang on.
211
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,547
What are you doing
to the rose?
212
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,251
I just don't want it
looking at me.
213
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,327
* Men.
214
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,499
I started algebra.
215
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,167
Oh. How's that going?
216
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,504
I don't get it at all,
but the teacher's really hot.
217
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,807
Well, that's nice.
218
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,310
Yeah. She's got
some really great racks.
219
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,113
I think you mean "rack."
220
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,049
No, she's got two,
and they're gi-normous!
221
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,051
Uh-huh.
222
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:54,788
It's kinda cool that
she's teaching alge-bra.
223
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,991
Nothing?
224
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,428
Boy, that killed in detention.
225
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,697
Oh, hey.
How was Santa Barbara?
226
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,099
Santa Bar-bra?
227
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,871
That's Spanish
for "City of Great Racks."
228
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,540
Alan, I got no patience
for your kid today.
229
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,008
Go do your homework.
230
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,445
Oh, right. I have
a big reading ass-signment.
231
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,717
You're not my audience.
232
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,823
Remember when he was cute?
233
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,892
The memory is fading.
234
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,027
So how was your
big night with Linda?
235
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,096
Fine.
236
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,231
Just fine?
237
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:41,601
Yes. Just... fine.
238
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:45,705
Oh... I... see.
239
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:49,176
No... you... don't.
240
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,344
All right.
241
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,913
Want to talk about it?
242
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,416
Oh, golly, Alan,
more than anything!
243
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,485
Okay, never mind.
244
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,853
Stew in it.
245
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,421
Thank you.
246
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,828
(sighs)
247
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,963
I finally got
to step up to the plate,
248
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,499
and I was
swinging a garden hose.
249
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,006
You happy?
250
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,208
Well, I'm not sad.
251
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,779
What do you think
the problem was?
252
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,450
I saw her again.
Saw who?
253
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,887
Rose. She brought champagne
to our hotel room,
254
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,223
except, this time,
she was Hispanic.
255
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,160
What was she last time?
256
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,095
Last time,
she was a blonde with coffee,
257
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,497
and the time before that,
she was a redhead with a dog.
258
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,532
What kind of dog?
259
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,200
What difference does it make?
260
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,170
I like dogs.
261
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,639
Go on.
262
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,174
If I didn't know any better,
263
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,708
I'd say she
was stalking me again.
264
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,944
From England?
265
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,778
We don't know she's in England!
266
00:12:58,846 --> 00:12:59,880
She sends letters and postcards.
267
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,448
Jake gets them all the time.
268
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,184
Oh, come on! Like she couldn't
leave a stack of them
269
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,853
with some friend
to mail every few days?
270
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,855
Oh, wow.
Are you listening to yourself?
271
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,656
Even Rose isn't that crazy.
272
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,826
Oh, and she's going to fly
back and forth with a dog?
273
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,996
She could hire a local dog.
274
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,666
Charlie, Rose is in England.
She's not stalking you.
275
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,335
And whatever you think
you're seeing is in your head.
276
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,841
Yeah. You're probably right.
277
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:32,245
Regardless, last night
was less than a triumph.
278
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,948
Why didn't you just
take one of your pills?
279
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:40,253
Because somebody else
took my last three.
280
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,522
Oh, yeah.
281
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:46,526
Thank you.
282
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:49,462
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
283
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,131
That's four.
284
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,001
First one was a two-fer.
285
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,004
* Men.
286
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,538
What kind of dog?
287
00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,839
I don't know!
It was a dog!
288
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,943
Four legs and a tail.
289
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,978
Can we please get
back to my problem?
290
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:08,281
Not a dog person.
291
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,918
So, you believe you're
seeing people who aren't there.
292
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,485
No, no, no, no, no.
293
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,721
They're there,
but they're not who they are.
294
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,356
Well, then who are they?
295
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,460
I don't know who they are,
but they all look like Rose.
296
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,694
Your stalker.
297
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,264
Well, that's kind of harsh.
298
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,466
You told me she broke
into your home, disrobed,
299
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,768
and handcuffed herself
to your refrigerator.
300
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,439
Well, just the one time.
301
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,044
So why do I keep seeing her
everywhere I go?
302
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,545
Well, gee, Charlie,
if I tell you that now,
303
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,447
what'll we do
for the rest of the hour?
304
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,650
I'm joshing.
305
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,821
Why don't we talk about
your current relationship?
306
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,058
Linda? Well, let's see.
307
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,559
She's a municipal
court judge.
308
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,693
Oh. Very impressive.
309
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,761
Thank you.
310
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,296
I meant for her, Charlie.
311
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,632
It's hardly your
accomplishment, now, is it?
312
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,334
Well, yeah, in a way.
313
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,303
I've never done a judge before.
314
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,639
Well, from what you told me,
you still haven't.
315
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:09,776
Touché.
316
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,712
It pays to listen.
317
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,481
So how old is Linda?
318
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,648
She's about my age.
319
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,716
Wow. This the first time you've
320
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,884
been with a woman that old?
321
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,519
Oh, no. Not at all.
322
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,489
So you've had age-appropriate
relationships before?
323
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,525
Relationships?
No, no. Are you crazy?
324
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,595
Am I crazy?
Pot-kettle, Charlie.
325
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,966
Okay, look, I didn't come to
therapy to talk this to death.
326
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,303
I've seen Rose three times,
327
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,338
and it's ruining my sex life
with Linda.
328
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,606
Can you help me,
329
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,409
or do I have to learn
to shoot pool with a rope?
330
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,145
Well, thank you for
that disturbing image.
331
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,616
Best I can tell, Charlie,
for the first time in your life,
332
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,585
you are involved
in an adult relationship.
333
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,488
It's challenging. Maybe even a
little intimidating.
334
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,090
And the fact
that you're fantasizing
335
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,525
about a woman in England
336
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,594
who idolized you beyond
all rational measure?
337
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:05,132
Well, that tells me that
you're afraid to grow up.
338
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000
We call that
the Peter Pan Syndrome.
339
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:11,471
Whoa! That's pretty good.
340
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,905
So what can we do?
341
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,275
You know, Peter-wise?
342
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,510
If you're committed
to personal growth,
343
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,380
you'll walk through your fear
and embrace the challenges
344
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,282
of a really
meaningful relationship
345
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,051
with an adult woman.
346
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,053
And your only
other choice
347
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,954
is to live the emotionally
stunted life
348
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,390
you've been living
over and over,
349
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,693
never growing
and never changing.
350
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,430
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Good afternoon.
351
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,400
Welcome aboard
British Airways Flight 471
352
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,736
nonstop
to London's Heathrow Airport.
353
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,073
* Men.
354
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,657
Charlie?
355
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,893
Surprise.
356
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,263
What are you doing here?
357
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,065
I'm not sure.
I just needed to see you.
358
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,968
I needed to talk to you.
I can come back if now
is not a good time.
359
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,037
No, no. It's okay.
360
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,673
I know you've
probably moved on.
361
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,209
I thought I had, too.
362
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,978
But, everywhere I look,
I keep seeing your face,
363
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,981
so I started
thinking maybe...
364
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,984
I don't know
what I'm thinking.
365
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,353
Are you... are you busy?
366
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,755
Can I take you out
for a cold beer or something?
367
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,924
Actually,
on this side of the pond,
368
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,026
we drink our beer warm.
369
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,529
You can still
catch a buzz, right?
370
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,197
Oh, yeah.
371
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,965
Then warm's fine.
372
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:49,336
Okay. Well,
I'll just get my purse.
373
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,437
Great.
374
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,316
So I'm not screwing up
any plans of yours?
375
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:07,287
Oh, no. This fits
perfectly into my plans.
376
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,260
Oh, Linda. Hi.
377
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,862
Hi, Alan. I'm... I'm sorry
to show up unannounced,
378
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,964
but Charlie hasn't been
answering his cell phone,
379
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,732
and I wanted to make
sure he's okay.
380
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,334
Oh, Charlie's fine.
381
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,002
We have a pharmacy
that delivers.
382
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:24,204
What?
383
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,839
Nothing. Come on in.
384
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,541
Thanks.
385
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,511
He should be getting up
sometime soon anyway.
386
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,813
So, how are things
with you and Donna?
387
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,882
Good. Good.
388
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,584
Uh, I'll go get Charlie.
389
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,653
Hey, Dad, girls' volleyball!
Lotta bouncing boobs!
390
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,855
Not now.
You told me to tell you
when they started.
391
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,157
No, I didn't!
Yes, you did!
392
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,225
Shut up!
393
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,895
Oh, hey.
394
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,263
Hello. You must be Jake.
395
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,731
Yeah. Who are you?
396
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,600
Linda. I'm a friend
of your Uncle Charlie's.
397
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,402
Are you the judge?
Uh-huh.
398
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,769
Do you play volleyball?
399
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,405
No. Do you?
400
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,541
Nah. I just like to watch
them jump up and down.
401
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842
Okay! Hi-ho!
402
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,311
Go away.
403
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,313
I thought Charlie
was asleep,
404
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,047
but he's not
in his room.
405
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,015
Berta, have
you seen Charlie?
406
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,350
He's not in his bed?
407
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,585
No.
Passed out
on the bathroom floor?
408
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,355
No.
Rubbing oil
on the volleyball girls?
409
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,224
No.
410
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:22,795
Well, that just leaves the bars,
hospitals and jails.
411
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,365
I'll go get the yellow pages.
412
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,336
Well, he couldn't
have gone very far.
413
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,038
Hey, Dad!
Hot girl in a thong!
414
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,673
What time is it?!
415
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,245
* Men.
416
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,916
Mmm! Tepid.
417
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,288
So, London certainly
agrees with you, Rose.
418
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,289
You look beautiful.
419
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,424
Thank you, Charlie.
420
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,826
I just can't
believe you're here.
421
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,429
Yeah, well, I know.
422
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,331
I've been thinking
a lot about you lately,
423
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,533
and I miss you.
424
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,470
Aw, Charlie, I miss you, too.
425
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,538
Are you seeing anybody?
426
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,807
Actually, I am seeing someone,
427
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,043
but I'm not really sure
where it's going yet.
428
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,812
You?
429
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,148
To be honest, there is one lady
I've been dating.
430
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,751
She's actually my own age.
431
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,019
No.
432
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,654
Yeah.
433
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,191
But my therapist says
she's not good for me.
434
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,461
And you think I am?
435
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,898
Well, you've always loved me
for who I am
436
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,466
instead of who I could be,
437
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,834
which is
really wonderful because,
438
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,538
let's face it,
we both love who I am.
439
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,909
I do love you, Charlie.
440
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,577
Great.
441
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,647
So?
442
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,249
So what?
443
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,785
So what's next?
444
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,154
What do you mean?
445
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,857
You can't expect me to go back
446
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,759
to what we had
without a commitment.
447
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,929
A commitment?
448
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,898
Yes. I think
we should get married.
449
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,802
Married?
450
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,904
Sell the house in Malibu
451
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,241
and move to a kid-friendly
neighborhood here in London.
452
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:18,345
Kid?
453
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:23,316
Kids. We're gonna have kids,
aren't we?
454
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,021
FLIGHT ATTENDANT:
Good afternoon.
455
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,624
Welcome aboard British Airways
Flight 472
456
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,328
nonstop to Los Angeles
International Airport.
457
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,597
* Men.
30724
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