Original subtitles

I had a wonderful day.

Hold it, Miss Hale.

That's swell.

Just a couple of you alone, Miss Hale, please.

How did you like Rio de Janeiro?

Oh, it was enchanting. We hear you've done a great job cementing the good

neighbor policy.

I hope so. It was quite unofficial, you understand.

Do they think as highly of your new educational system and books on child

psychology as we do?

Well, they were nice enough to make me feel they do.

As youth's opinion of youth, how do the South American children compare with

ours, Miss Stephanie?

Their scholastic approach is entirely different.

Their cultural standards are so much more exacting. Stephanie found them

brilliant, and adorable, didn't you, dear?

Yes, Mother. Tell us, Stephanie, how does it feel to hold an international IQ

record for five straight years?

I can't say I feel anything. Anything but pride and deep appreciation of the

honor. Senator Pringle. Excuse me, pal. How are you, boys?

Senator. Oh, John, this is nice.

Stephanie, this is Mickey.

Hello. That's the sign of a wedding, Senator. How about that? Anything I'd

would be wishful thinking. What about you, Miss Hale?

Oh, the Senator and I are just good friends. I'm here only to help him stir

interest in the youth problem. The Senator considers that the issue of

welfare has been badly neglected, and he feels that I can be of some assistance.

And any resemblance to helping his re -election to the state senate is purely

coincidental.

Of course.

Suppose the party feels the senator is slipping. Would you step into his shoes?

That's preposterous. Absurd.

What's your paper?

Chronicle. I'm Jeff Turner, special features editor.

Oh, I see.

I'm glad to know you, Turner.

Fine paper, the Chronicle. I'm glad you like it.

A lot of our readers are very old -fashioned, Miss Hale.

Some of them still think there's nothing better for growing kids than a mother

who stays home and minds her own business and a father who wears the

What's your opinion?

That depends on the mother, the father, and the pants.

It's taken a war to teach us that the slack is as mighty as the trousers.

And you have no regrets at having sacrificed marriage for a career? In my

it involved no sacrifice, I assure you.

Then why didn't you get married again?

Please don't bother me with such silly questions.

Thinks marriage is silly. I didn't say that, Senator.

Father.

Stephanie.

Emily Post doesn't say anything about how to handle a situation like this. She

doesn't, huh? Well, you come here, baby. Come to Papa.

How are you? I'm fine.

Let's see how you look without those cheaters on.

I didn't think you'd recognize me after seven years.

Not bad, considering what you drew for a father.

You suit me.

Good.

How's my twin? Oh, she's great, honey. And wait till she sees you.

Stephanie.

Stephanie, will you tell the senator that I'll be there in just a moment,

please? Yes, Mother.

Goodbye, Father. Be seeing you.

Jeff, how's Terry? When can I see her?

Anytime. Tonight.

Oh, thank you, Jeff.

I'll send a car for her.

Oh, no, no, no. Where Terry goes, Papa goes.

She's a nice kid and she thinks I'm great.

All you'd need would be just one inning with her.

Same small, mean, suspicious, stubborn Jeff.

You haven't changed a bit.

Same stubborn, spoiled, selfish Mary.

I'd hoped for the children's sake we might declare a truce.

But apparently that's impossible.

If I can't see Terry, you can't see Stephanie.

And you're just mean enough to make that stick.

You would try to place the blame on me. All right, all right. We'll call a

temporary truce. You bring Stephanie to my apartment tonight.

Oh, that James kiss is in the shadow. She looks like she's got a mustache.

Good caption.

Spirited lady adds new touch to politics.

Look, what's the idea?

Maybe the chronicle wants to be different.

Maybe I don't like brainy women in glamorous packages.

Uh, they don't answer.

Maybe I just like to hear it ring.

Hello, boys. Hi, honey. Having trouble? Oh, no.

Me and him?

Four, and we're just as chummy as rock and rye.

Fancy. Peace in our time.

That's better.

And next time, don't keep me waiting all night.

You look a little haggard, Duchess. Maybe you need a good night's sleep.

If this is the beginning of another beautiful alibi... Oh, no, no, no. I

get a personal story from the American Authority on child welfare.

How personal?

She's linked up with the Senator Pringle campaign.

Seems like undependability is your chief charm. Baby, how can you say a thing

like that?

They don't answer in case you're interested.

Where's Terry? Not yet.

Come on, Terry. Swing a wing with me.

Scram, Sam.

You're out like the gout.

She's busy, Dizzy.

Coming up.

Where do you see the new step I worked out, Jimmy? It's a cross between a rusty

dusty and a shorty George.

Harry, I can't go to dance land tonight.

Take off that long underwear, son. We know you.

What do you mean you can't go?

Well, I've got a chance to work.

There's some things a little more important than dancing.

Such as what, for instance?

Look, a fellow's got to start thinking of getting somewhere in life.

Yeah, sure.

But would it hurt to start carrying the world on your big, broad shoulders after

the city championship?

The kids in the club are betting on us.

Well, there are such things as duty and honor.

Wacky cracks.

All right, Mr.

Howe, I worked my way up from a soda squirt to just plain squirt in one short

summer vacation. Forget it.

What's the date with me compared to a big business deal with Mr. Winters?

Okay, okay, if you're going into a decline over it. Let me show you the new

stick, Jimmy. It's a killer diller.

Mr. Turner.

Terry? Sure.

Oh, Terry.

Your pops wants you.

Hey. So, pops, what's the matter?

Who?

Wow.

Oh, boy, I'll be right home.

Yes, yes.

ladies. Welcome. Come in. Come in. Hello, honey. Hello, father. I'm glad to

you.

Hello, Jeff.

Maggie.

Isn't Terry here? She won't be in just a jiffy, honey. She went down to the

library and I headed her off.

Here's your paper, mister.

Thanks for the picture.

It was a pleasure.

It takes real genius to be that unflattering without being libelous.

It's nothing to what I could do if I really tried.

This was going to be a truce, remember?

Okay. I'd do much better by on my next yarn, Maggie.

Never mind. Your worst is good enough for me, thank you.

I guess that must be Terry.

Gosh, Pops, are they really here? No kidding?

Haven't you anything nicer than that to wear? Yeah, Pops.

Poke that sweater inside your skirt.

Okay, Pops.

Leave it like it was.

Okay, Pops. And don't call me Pops. Call me Father. Okay, Pops.

Mom! Oh, Terry, darling.

Stephanie!

Hello, Terry.

Mom. Oh, darling.

What a bundle of woo.

Well, you're even more of a glamour pants than your pictures.

Look at my twin pop. Ain't she terrific?

I read all about those IQ records you copped off.

Baby, you really cook with helium.

We hated to call you away from the library.

The which?

Oh, I was only on my way to a little rug cutting.

I'm out for a new championship.

I worked out a new step that'll really pull them out of their chairs. Here, let

me show you.

Terry, I don't think your mother's interested.

Oh, yes, I am, dear.

Decidedly.

Don't let that high fart fool you. Maybe Stephanie would like to look around.

Why don't you show her your room?

Say no more.

I'll be pulling for you, Pops.

Come on to it and I'll show you my paper dolls.

Go ahead. Let's have it.

She's a jitterbug. She's a Bobby Sox brigadier. She doesn't speak good

She can't keep her feet on the ground.

Well, she's normal, she's happy, and she suits me.

Jeff, let me take Terry for a while.

Oh, no, you don't. We got a divorce seven years ago because we couldn't

how to bring up the kids.

And the court settled it once and for all.

But I miss her so terribly.

I know I have no legal right to ask this, but please let her come with me.

Please. Ruin all my training?

Oh, no. One career gown, family's enough.

I'm giving up public life, Jeff.

You're giving up what?

Well, this is off the record, but when I complete this tour, I'm writing finish

to the career of Mary Hale.

I must be dreaming.

No, Jeff.

Ambition. What does it mean without happiness?

Lady.

Say that again, will you?

I've kept a scrapbook of you and Mom ever since the big crash.

The divorce?

What else?

Gosh.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Mom and Popson make up?

Yes.

Then we could all live together again.

Golly, it must be super to have been everywhere like you.

France, England, Russia, South America.

Yes, I'm on speaking terms with some of the best hotel clerks throughout the

world. Hey, that sounds like you don't go for it.

Oh, there's nothing like travel to broaden the mind.

Yeah, look at you.

But who wants to look like that?

Why, you look super duper.

Like something out of Vogue. Oh, nothing so bourgeois as that.

My clothes are designed for me.

Jeepers. Like Irene in the movie stars?

Mm -hmm.

You pick yours out yourself, don't you?

Yeah, sure. You don't have to dress to match your brains, do you?

I'd be arrested. If you want your hair down, you just put it down. There are no

world -shaking reverberations, are there?

Of course not.

Do you know what would happen if I wore shoes like yours?

Syndicated photos would flash around the country. Women's clubs would rise up in

arms. Child welfare leagues would call special meetings.

You don't know what it means to be the daughter of a beautiful, glamorous, and

famous authority on child psychology.

What I wouldn't give to step into your moccasins. You want to try them on?

All it'll cost you is the loan of that personally made creation you got on.

Let me slip my skin in something like that just once.

All right.

Let me look at you.

Clothes make the woman. Look at yourself. Your IQ's dropped 50 points.

Here, give me those.

My own humble observation is the children today are not given too much

responsibility. They are not given enough.

Faith in the child creates the child's faith in itself.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's from your radio talk to the National Women's Convention.

Say, you're okay, toots.

Slipped me the skin, twin.

Hey, you're okay, too.

All except for your hair. You gotta let your hair down, but literally, if you

want to be hip.

Now you're cooking.

It's true, Jeff.

Nothing can even approximate a happy home and its influence on a child.

Well, you don't have to sell me on that.

And you will let me have Terry, won't you?

Sure.

All you have to do is take Papa with her.

Oh, Jeff, that's absurd.

I'm talking about getting married.

So am I.

Well,

I mean to the senator.

To that old windbag Pringle?

He is not old.

So, she's retiring from public life. With an eye on a post in the cabinet,

bet.

From washing machine to Washington.

Maybe you think that won't make a story.

You wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't I?

Do you love him?

That is a question for the senator.

Do you love him?

He's a very fine man.

There isn't anything you wouldn't sacrifice for a career, is there?

I've heard that before.

You love me more than that old fossil. That's ridiculous.

Is it?

Come, Stephanie, we're leaving.

Don't argue with me, dear. I just remember that I have a very important

engagement. But, Mom... I hate to rush off like this, Terry, but I'll arrange

for you to come to the hotel to see me alone later.

But, Mother... Thank you, Terry, for a delightful evening. I'll call you first

thing in the morning.

Goodbye, Terry. Come, Stephanie.

Goodbye, Father.

Goodbye, Stephanie.

Wait a minute.

Where do you think you're going? The Father. Don't call me Father. Call me

That's good enough for me.

Hello? Miss Stephanie?

I'll see.

It's a Miss Terry Turner.

I'll talk to her.

Good morning, Miss Turner.

Terry, I think we've gone far enough with this joke, don't you?

Aw, gee.

Let me be a lady for a day.

But I have engagements and speeches to make.

Yes. All right.

But just for today.

Swell.

Oh, I always have breakfast at Winter's Drugstore. When you go out of the house,

turn to the right, walk three blocks.

You can't miss it.

You'll have to excuse me now. I have more important things to attend to. I'll

call you later.

Good morning, dear.

Good morning, Mother. Did you sleep well?

Wonderful. Usual request for endorsements and an invitation to the

Chelsea League.

What a bore.

Most people would give five years of their life for an invitation to the

Chelsea League.

Sorry I can't breakfast with you, dear, but the Senator and I have a million

appointments. Mickey will pick you up later for a ride in the park.

I'll wear my sables.

On a horse? No.

Yes.

I mean, I can't ride.

And... And study my Latin as I planned.

All Latin and no play, you know, dear.

Not that I approve of that wild hairdo of your sister's, but let's get rid of

these braids, shall we?

Yes, Mother.

Would be nice if you'd make yourself a little more attractive for Mickey.

You know, you're very pretty.

Have a wonderful day and tell me all about it when I get back.

All right, Mother.

Goodbye, dear. Goodbye, Mother.

Sinker and Suggs. Hey, pitch me a box of birdseed.

Charles coming right up, Goldilocks.

Greetings, Gay.

Pitch me the goo in the moo.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, keep kidding. The goo in the moo.

Say,

can't you lay off that stuff even for breakfast?

What's the matter with you? That stuff costs points.

What happened?

What did she do? Did she hurt?

Hey, should I call a doctor? I think she got hit in the head.

Of all the stupid, uncouth barbarians, while you're a menace to society, young

man, you ought to be forcibly restrained.

She's slap happy.

Maybe she's got anemia.

Amnesia.

Blimey! Quit! She's bleeding! Stop!

Okay, okay.

What's the matter with you?

I think you were dying. It's only a little ketchup.

Bye, baby.

Okay.

Come on, come on, Dopey. Come on, where?

To school, of course. I've been through school.

Boy, you really got a coke on the head. Come on.

Invert the given time to find out how much each can do in unit time.

Then add the reciprocals to find out how much is done in unit time.

Now subtract the sum from the reciprocal of the total time to find the missing

rate.

Invert this rate to find the unknown time.

The total time is two days.

Therefore, it will take A 20 days to complete the job by himself.

Holy cow, did you hear that?

Maybe I ought to get hit on the head with a bottle of ketchup.

Why don't you watch where you're going, Emerson?

Why don't you wipe the mist off those specks so you can see something?

Very funny. Very funny.

You broke my toe.

The correct thing would have been to throw myself down and let you and that

elephant both walk on me. Oh, that horse was a mile away from you.

Horse?

Is that what that was?

Oh, so we're going to have jokes today.

The horses are ready, Mr. Pringle.

Thanks, Jack.

Mr. Pringle?

I guess these glasses do need a little polishing.

Come on, Godiva. Give me your foot.

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Now, get on.

It's too hot.

Oh, come here. Grab on up there. Now, bend your left knee. Ready?

One, two, three.

Oh!

Shall we try it again?

I thought your mother said you could ride.

It must be these new glasses.

Shall I take over, Mr. Pringle? Oh, please.

I saw them do this in a circus once.

I'm what?

I'm in the National Knowledge Contest.

Oh, just because you wanted to show off how smart you are, you had to get me

into a mess like this.

Oh.

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe I've got something.

What would happen if you won this contest for me?

Mom would think Pop had the right idea about raising kids, and it might bring

them together again.

Well, that would be marvelous.

But, Terry, what if we ever found out?

So what?

Columbus crossed the Delaware. Why can't you?

We take a chance.

Well,

come on, Goldilocks. Let's get going to the rat race.

Which race?

The Hepcat finals. Dance land. You and me, remember?

You and Jimmy got to cook with grease tonight, honey. We're betting the works

you. Six clams for me. I've got 12 pieces of lettuce on the front myself.

I'll bet it. Everything we've got. What are we waiting for?

Wait, wait.

I don't think I'll go.

Oh, I'll tell you. Let's stay home and listen to the radio.

The public forum is having Dr.

Pierre Massenswatt.

Are you nuts?

Well, kind of.

Well, that is, I mean, well, no.

After the big beef you've been putting up because I

wanted to work nights instead of clam baking, you've got the gall to walk out

me at this hour.

Why, it's because of the needling I've been getting from you that I bet Stitch

20 bucks we were going to win.

Is that a lot of money?

Is that a lot of moolah?

Is it?

Woman, that's my whole bank account. My life savings.

A lot of moolah.

Come on. Come on.

And sister, you better be good.

Thank you.

Come on, let's go. Let's don't. What do you mean, let's don't? Why?

I think I broke my leg. There's something the matter with it. Cut the

Terry. Leave us have action.

At a time like this, she's going to be funny. Oh, Jimmy, no. I'm not in a

dancing mood.

Mood, she says.

With our dough riding on her.

Oh, honey, you and Jimmy can win this with your feet tied.

Look at those squares out there.

Strictly from Dixie. It's stalling. Oh, Jimmy, no. Let's talk this over.

She's clowning. Then why ain't I laughing?

What the heck has happened to you?

I think the crowd's making me nervous.

You ask me, you're making the crowd nervous.

Okay, okay, we'll get off before you're thrown off.

What's the idea?

Very funny, very funny.

Funny? There must be something wrong with my sense of humor.

Let's get out of here before I forget I'm a lady.

You better take the bus home. There's not enough room in my jalop with her

along. Come on.

You go with them.

I'll get home, all right.

I ought to.

I ought to let you walk home.

Why? That's all I want to know. Why?

Just give me an answer.

I will.

As soon as I can think of one.

Oh.

Oh, come on.

We'll sit here where it's cold.

Where it's freezing.

Maybe I can cool off.

Let's have silence.

With the prize right in our midst, she sabotages us.

I just don't get it.

I know, Jimmy.

I'm sorry.

No, can't. Let's don't talk about it. Let's just forget it.

The past six months, she has me burning up shoe leather.

We're not jiving at dance land or feeding that jukebox in the drugstore.

Trekking to every jive joint in town, night after night.

Every time we meet, it's just hi -ho and off to dance, let's go.

If I talk about the future, I'm an utter drip.

If I suggest saving money, I get the snoot.

No, no, no, you want to win trophies and impress people.

That dismisses the case.

But I think you're wonderful, looking ahead and wanting to save money. Will

keep still and let me get a word in?

You're like a spoiled brat. If you don't get what you want, you clench your

fists and yell your head off.

I tried to close my eyes to the sad fact that you've got nothing on your head

but a lot of dizzy blonde hair.

But tonight doesn't.

I realize at last we just don't synchronize.

Till now, I've been weak and willing.

But from here on, it's going to be different.

You can sparkle that glamour at somebody else, baby.

You've ruined my eyesight.

Well, say something.

I haven't anything to say.

Okay. Good idea. For once, we don't fight.

What are you crying for?

I'm not crying.

Well, what's that on your face, then?

Nothing. Oh, I suppose it's rain.

Oh, here.

I don't need it.

Oh, for the love of... All right, all right. I'm wrong. I beat up old ladies

kick kids in the teeth.

I'm a bully, I suppose.

You know, I think you're wonderful.

Don't you know when you're freezing to death?

Don't you know if I weren't so goofy about you, I wouldn't give a hoot about

future?

What do you think I'm thinking of when I'm thinking of the future?

Oh, a guy hasn't got a chance with a dame like you.

Okay, smug nutty.

You win.

Three cut -ins each the minute I get on the dance floor.

You mean with Stephanie Hale?

Three cut -ins for one skin?

Where's your patriotism?

Dancing with droopy pusses above and beyond the call of duty, pal.

Take it or leave it. Oh, we'll take it.

Okay.

kisses here, only a quarter, a small part of a dollar.

How about you, buddy?

Warm.

What about you, gorgeous?

Oh, I'm sorry, Stephanie. I promised Josie I'd give her my business.

Shorty.

I'll give it to you for a quarter. I pay more.

Oh, no, I don't think I... I'll make it two for a quarter.

But, Stephanie, I told Josie I... You can have a sample for nothing.

I'm sorry, but I... All right.

I'll give you a dollar.

Well, but how about it?

Well, I... I hope Josie understands.

But I'm engaged.

It's not nice to kiss other girls when you're engaged.

Says who?

Back with Josie.

We got all night.

how you suddenly get to know someone.

Not that I ever minded all that highbrow stuff.

Believe it or not, I kind of go for it myself.

But, well, after all, who likes to do this to an encyclopedia?

Get what I mean?

I thought you wanted me to.

It must have been a couple other girls.

And if there is any subject of national interest, it is the welfare of the

nation's children.

No one is more familiar with this crucial problem than our... Our beloved

Senator Pringle.

As he says, the nation's existence, the part we play in world affairs tomorrow,

depends on what we do with our children today.

Thank you.

You're going to have to have your hands half sold if you keep that up. It's

politics, my dear.

After six stand -ups and you bring me to this hen coop for dinner, what's the

idea? The food wasn't bad, was it?

There's something fuzzy about all this.

You can count on us, Senator, for the election.

Well, thank you very much and good night. Good night, Senator.

Good evening, Senator.

Oh, hello, Turner. Glad to see you here.

Miss Hale, Miss Hunter, Senator Pringle. How do you do?

How do you do?

How do you do?

We'll be late for your broadcast, Senator.

Yes, we must be going, too.

Broadcast? Oh, that's tough.

I was just going to tell you I'd arranged with the sports editor to have

pitch the first ball at the game tonight.

I'm quite sure the senator wouldn't be at all interested.

Not interested in two million baseball fans who vote?

Perhaps Miss Hale could pinch hit for you.

Definitely not.

Why not?

Well, I... Well, it's just that I... I don't think it's a good idea.

It seems like an excellent idea to me. Me too. I agree with Miss Hale. It

wouldn't be at all the thing for a woman in her position to do.

Come on, Jeff. We'll make the senator late for his broadcast.

However, on the other hand...

We are trying to encourage the interest of youngsters in athletics.

But night baseball isn't exactly the thing you'd recommend.

And there's something so democratic about baseball. Spoken like a true

If we hurry, we can still make it. Let my chauffeur drive you. Won't that be

more convenient? Fine.

But, Jeff, the senator's broadcast.

You're right, Alice. You take it. Here, drive the senator over to my jalopy.

Come on, Miss Hill.

out and shoot him. Why don't you get your seeing -eye dog to call him for

That's what I said.

Maybe he'd like to make something out of it. Sure he would, you big bully.

To

the

hotel, Alfred, please. By the way, the reservoir.

What reservoir, sir? Any reservoir. I'm not particular.

You shouldn't have said that. You're supposed to be a reporter.

I am.

Freedom of the press.

Mary.

Oh, Jeff, let's be sensible.

We're acting like a couple of idiots.

Mm -hmm.

Ain't it great?

You're too pretty, too smart, too wonderful. But I guess I'll have to put

with it.

What's so funny? You.

What? What the well -kissed man is wearing.

Lipstick. Yike.

How's that? It's better.

It should be a cinch the second time a man asks his wife to marry him. But it's

just as tough as the first time.

Jeff, it's been crazy. It's been wonderful.

Let's leave it that way.

Let's settle it right now.

It was all settled seven years ago.

There have been no changes since.

I'm going to get the license tomorrow.

You're talking like a little boy, Jeff.

I mean, there have really been no changes.

We both feel exactly as we did about the children, about my career.

Oh, what good is a career?

If it's so unimportant, why didn't you let me go ahead with it?

You wouldn't do that, though, would you?

You're the only one who can have his cake and eat it, too.

Honey, you're really sensational.

You can feel the way you do about me and never forget the limelight for a

minute.

The lady has a headline as deep as the Holland Tunnel.

That heartline doesn't have a chance.

You can stop anywhere here, bud. Jeff, what are you going to do?

Make news.

I'm going to be the first gent to walk home from a buggy ride.

Hello, Terry.

Hello.

What took you so long getting here?

Moms. You should have heard her going on about Pop. You should have heard Pops

about her.

I'll bet it was gruesome.

She turned him down last night. Did you know it?

Do I know it?

Whatever gave us the idea we could bring those two together again?

Oh, it's hopeless, I guess.

Well, the sooner we change back to our own places, the better.

Yes, and besides, it's kind of a mean trick we've been playing on Mickey and

Jimmy.

That's what I've been thinking.

Thanks for the rosy glasses.

Terry, you wouldn't mind a friendly bit of advice, would you?

Shoot.

Well, dancing isn't all there is in life.

You're telling me.

Oh, I'm glad you feel that way about it.

Jimmy's so wonderful.

Impersonally speaking, of course.

Yeah, he's okay.

But that Mickey.

Now there's a guy you gotta understand to appreciate.

Speaking as a sister, naturally.

Honey,

take a chip from me.

That highbrow stuff is great, but it's no fun kissing an encyclopedia.

That is indisputable.

Maybe that's Jimmy. You'd better get out of sight.

Get rid of him fast.

Honey.

Wait till I tell you what happened.

Honey.

My father. Don't call me that. Call me father.

Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who raised a brain wave. You come here.

Wait till I tell you. Wait till I tell you.

I'm the father of the kid who's going to compete for the IQ championship of all

the high schools in the United States.

Yes, Father.

Terry, will you listen to this? It is with great pleasure we advise you that

your daughter, Terry, by her credits in preliminary contests, has earned the

honor of competing as one of the six finalists.

This competition will be presented on a nationwide radio hour.

Oh, honey, what do you think of that? And who do you think is going to present

the trophy?

Your mother.

Oh, Terry.

Terry, darling.

Oh, honey, you've got to win.

Do you realize what this means? It may bring your mom back to us.

Yes, Father. This calls for a day off. What do you say you and I go down to the

beach, huh?

Well, I've got a heavy date.

Oh.

Well, I guess I'll get out the old golf sticks then.

Here you are, Pops.

Just waiting your mother hears about my kid winning a national IQ contest.

Oh, just wait.

Here,

Pops.

Well, what the... What's the matter, Pops?

I guess this thing has gotten me a little excited.

Goodbye, Pops.

So long, Fitz.

And you said Pops was through with Mom.

Oh, Terry, I'll have to stay here and win the contest.

Oh, boy, where are those rosy glasses? I'm on my way back to the hotel.

Judges of the National Knowledge Contest, ladies and gentlemen of the

naturally, I'm very happy over the honor bestowed upon my daughter, Terry.

And I... Aren't you counting your quiz, Chick, before she lays an egg? Don't you

worry about her laying an egg. She's a cinch to win.

Seems like only yesterday that to get her out of the eighth grade, the

tactfully suggested blasting.

And is he eating crow now?

Well, shall we scram, Duchess? So long. I've got to run. Just a minute, pal. I

thought we were spending the evening together.

Well, I said some evening.

Uh -oh.

Here we go again.

Look, honey, I've got to cover this quiz show. What's the matter with me going

with you? Well, you're going with Jake.

We need a story with pictures of a jive joint showing the horrible examples of

juvenile delinquency. You and Jake will have a swell time.

So long.

Someday I'm going to lose my temper with that guy.

We have an exceptional set of questions tonight.

So that all of us may be at ease, shall we begin with one of the simpler ones?

Yes, sir.

Very well.

Here it is.

By whom was the steam engine invented?

Walter Cain. James what?

I'm afraid that's not correct.

Terry Turner.

By Aero during the second century B .C., although we have no record of it having

been put to useful work other than a scientific toy to demonstrate that every

action is accompanied by an opposite reaction.

Another experimenter was James Watt, who is credited with the modern condensing

steam engine.

Can you mention any others?

Well, there were...

Desaguliers, Deco, Giovanni

Branca, Savary, Crawley, and Newcomen.

you

How come you didn't get roped into going to the quiz show tonight?

Well, it would be taking too big a chance.

Hmm? I mean, I might make the contestants nervous.

Very interesting idea of yours, coming here.

I thought you suggested it.

What's the difference? We're here.

You know, to really appreciate a waltz, you have to be crazy about someone.

Yes, you certainly have to be crazy.

I said crazy about someone.

Oh, yeah.

It's very sentimental music.

Oh, something's happened to you. Something terrific.

Shall we dance?

We are dancing.

Oh, so we are.

That's what's called digging the job.

Really?

Why? Why, that's just like my morning setting up exercises.

Let's try it.

Oh, well, do you think we should? I mean, your mother would... Well, one

narrow -minded in these matters.

Well, if you insist.

Hey, you're okay.

Better watch your step, Clarence.

Okay pal.

Okay.

Come on, kids, let's have a picture here.

Okay, Jane.

Boy, what a... Oh, I ought to get the Pulitzer Award for this. Oh, you're a

cinch.

Oh, please don't let him take our picture, Duchess.

What did you say?

Well, can I talk to you alone?

Sure. Come on over here.

Well, what's on your mind?

Well, I'm Carrie.

Jeff Turner's daughter.

Oh, come on now, kid. Yes, I am, really. Look.

Well, I thought you were on the quiz show.

I am.

Well, that is, I mean, well... What do you mean?

I'll tell you all about it later, but first get my father and stop this story

about Mickey and me, will you, Duchess?

It'll ruin my mother.

Your mother?

Yes, my mother's Mary Hale.

Well, Terry, you must tell me all about it.

Oh, uh, Jake, I'll take this film.

I am happy to inform you that your daughter, Terry, has set a new world

held until tonight by my daughter, Stephanie.

It gives me great pleasure to present this handsomely engraved trophy to you,

the father of the winning child, the outstanding parrot of America.

Thank you.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Naturally, I'm very happy over the honor bestowed upon my daughter, Terry.

But more than personal satisfaction, I... More than personal

satisfaction, I thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a thrilling contest.

We hope you have enjoyed this program.

Terry's in jail.

But Terry's here.

That's what you think, Daddy.

Now, look.

You explain to the sergeant that you were there and you know the kids are

innocent.

And tell him I said it was a special favor to meet him.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Now listen.

You tell Terry to go right home and stay there.

And Alice, you meet me at the office.

Right.

Breakfast? You really saved my life.

How can I ever thank you?

What's this, baby? My resignation, sucker.

Oh, don't be funny.

We could get along without the morning edition better than we could without

Well, it ain't mutual, pal.

Let it not be said that a member of the press lacked ethics.

You got another job?

I've got a story with pictures that'll hold down any front page for a week.

With my ammunition, I can get anything short of City Hall.

Well, that makes it a little difficult to compete, doesn't it? Mm -hmm.

Be seeing you.

Duchess.

Weren't you looking at something in Cartier's?

Yeah, a ring.

I saw an emerald in the window. Oh, they don't become me. The ring I like is

gold, plain gold, with little orange blossoms engraved on it.

Imagine you talking about walking out on me. Well, your attitude lately hasn't

exactly cemented friendly relations, you know. Oh, honey, you know I've been

busy. Why didn't you tell me Mary Hale was the ex -wife?

It's ancient history.

And you're still studying it.

You look me right in the eye and say that again.

You big lug.

But I'm crazy about you.

I thought you were only a wolf, you dog.

Now listen to reason, Duchess. You know, doggone well that's my kid Terry and

not Stephanie Hale in those pictures.

Sure, I know. And you know, Daddy.

But that's one disadvantage of twins.

Sometimes nobody can tell them apart.

With that prissy hairdo and those goggles, even her own mother can't swear

pictures aren't Stephanie Hale.

Model Miss of America.

Give me a break, will you, Duchess?

I can't reveal the truth without causing disastrous repercussions on Mary and

the twins.

Big words ain't gonna save you, bud.

My hands are tied. Yes, and you better keep them tied, too.

This is blackmail.

Uh -uh.

Female.

Come in.

Oh, I thought you were alone.

He is.

Practicing.

I forgot to sign this.

It won't be necessary.

Good night, Miss Hale. Good night.

Good night, Jeff.

Pleasant dreams.

Thanks.

Aren't you...

Jeff, I've been awfully foolish.

No, you haven't, darling.

Let me admit it.

I've been spoiled and stubborn.

So sure of myself.

So unfair to you.

You've been an angel.

We'll be quarreling about each other's virtues in a minute.

Jeff, I've known ever since that night in your apartment when you kissed me

I was still in love with you.

And then tonight when I saw what you'd accomplished with Terry.

And on top of that, you...

Keeping this scandal about Mickey and Stephanie out of the papers.

It wasn't anything.

The senator told me all about it.

Oh, Jeff, I'm so ashamed of myself.

Mary? Jeff.

Ask me again to marry you.

Mary, I... But, darling... Well, it... It just wouldn't work.

It's too late.

Are you trying to say you don't want to marry me?

Just for the time being.

You don't buy any chance. Think there's going to be another time.

You have to do that?

I said, do you have to do that?

Stephanie didn't drag that thing out every day.

Stephanie didn't drag it out, period.

You heard from her this morning?

Yes, she's back at the hotel in all her glory.

Mom doesn't suspect a thing.

Good.

Nobody works at that joint, Pops.

Ah, the elegance of it.

I guess it's about time we had a woman around here.

A witch? I said, I said it's about time you had a mother to look after you.

Oh, you love me, you adorable pups. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Cut it out, will you? You're choking me to death.

It's not set yet, but something's come up that makes it look like there might

three of us. Three?

Which one of us are you going to drown, Stephanie or me? Stephanie has nothing

to do with it. I'm talking about Alice.

Say that again and don't smile.

Cut it out and go get my coat. I'm in a hurry.

Not that big of a hurry, you're not.

Come on, tell me that bedtime story again.

Well, honey, you know Alice and I have been palling around together for a long

time. Sure. She's a mighty fine girl.

And she can cook.

And how, if she's got you ready to sign on the dotted line.

That's impertinent.

All right, I apologize.

But gosh, Pops, what gives? You've been dodging that noose for years.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm still the boss around here. You know that, don't you?

Now, Patty, what's wrong?

Something is. Now tell me all about it. You keep your little nose out of things

that don't concern you.

Okay.

Oh,

I forgot to tell you, Pops.

Uh, the Duchess called and said that she was only kidding about using those

pictures.

Terry!

No fooling.

Oh, I knew the Duchess wouldn't go through with a low -down trick like

Boy, oh boy. So, she is holding you up.

You little tyke.

You were just baiting me, weren't you?

Well, I had to find out.

You can't battle this thing alone. It takes a woman's touch.

It'll take a man's touch with a hairbrush if you don't stay out of this.

Oh, but Pops... You're still not too big to get a walloping, young lady.

Miss Stephanie Hale, please.

The Duchess.

Over my dead body.

Why, it's as plain as day, pal.

Well, not to me now. Now, give it to me again slowly.

Who are you?

That's Terry.

No, she was Terry, but now she's Stephanie.

Well, I thought you were Stephanie.

No, she was Stephanie when I was Terry. You see, when she's Terry, I'm Terry.

All right, look, look. All I want to know is who was the girl I kissed on the

bus. Yeah, and who did I kiss at the Red Cross dance?

Look, we'll explain that all later. But right now, what we have to do, and do

fast, is to get that film from Alice.

Yes, before Mother announces her engagement to the Senator tonight at the

rally. Well, but how?

Well, I've got an idea. It may not work, but...

Mr. Pringle.

Mr. J. Pringle, Lichen Senator.

Well, of course, send him right up.

I thought it was your father.

The old man's loss is your gain.

What the idea?

Oh, now, beautiful, you don't have to put on an act for me. What is this?

pictures. I know why you didn't print them in the paper. You do? Sure.

I feel the same way about you. Get away from me, you pipsqueak Casanova. Did

anyone ever tell you you're very beautiful? Did anyone ever tell you that

were a fresh little mug? I knew last night. Our eyes met. Something clicked.

And I don't mean the camera. Come on now, kids. Scram out of here before I

the manager.

What's that? Does it matter at a time like this?

Let me go.

What are you doing in here?

Me?

I'm washing the windows. Why, those windows were washed yesterday.

All I know is I said to wash them.

Oh, I'm washing them. Look out, you're getting water all over everything.

I'll see about this.

You clumsy idiot. Get out of here.

Hello. Hello.

Oh, operator.

What's the matter with this phone?

Look, baby, how about you and me taking a walk in the park? Are you still here?

Madam, what does college mean to you? Not a... And get out of my way. Oh,

can I interest you in a magazine subscription?

Ah, here we have a little number. The illustration's no practice on a smur.

Ah, but this is the caliphronus on the toboggan slide.

Now, what the well -dressed man is wearing. So the caliphronus has to

on a toboggan.

So the caliphronus has to practice on a caliphronus. So the caliphronus has to

practice on a caliphronus. So the caliphronus has to practice on a

So the caliphronus has to practice on a caliphronus. So the caliphronus has to

practice on a caliphronus.

It's all Freda Krantz on a fremen.

No!

Come on. You'd better get out of there and quick. Wait till I see the manager.

What are we doing?

Open the door.

What's going on in here?

You kids have got to get out of here. Down the fire escape, quick. What are

going to do?

I don't know.

They're all this way.

I'll slow them off as long as I can. I'll get out of here, will you? Yeah,

Hey!

Hey, kids, come here, quick!

Look! Look, it's the films!

The starting increase in juvenile delinquency since the war is a problem

concerns every one of us.

Our children are running wild.

Reports from welfare authorities are alarming.

Shall we permit our sons and daughters to frequent jukebox rendezvous and

dance halls?

I urge you to back Senator Pringle and his campaign to protect our children.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to make an announcement.

A very personal announcement.

I should like to take this occasion, if I may, to announce that the Senator and

I...

Officer, there's the man who has my pictures. He put his kids up to steal

Oh, are these your pictures?

I'm so sorry.

Come on.

Oh, so you think that's funny, huh?

Very funny, don't you?

Hey, just a minute. Are you my girl? Well, there's one way of finding out.

Uh -uh.

Uh -uh.