Original subtitles

- You know I like you. - You are very drunk.

- Are you attracted to me? - Yeah. Yeah.

EVAN: "Remember, trust no one. Unless they have a moose."

- Who sent you that? - It's from my old foster sister.

I didn't know you were a foster kid.

- Did you see Stephen over break? - Nope. Think I'm done with him.

I am so relieved.

I'm so sorry about Christmas.

LUCY: It's a flower that you drew for Macy.

Did you go to that party with her?

She said that she could drive me back to campus.

This other car came around the corner really fast. It was Drew.

Drew ran you guys off the road, and then just fucking left?

- Yeah. - He can't get away with that.

I know. I know. I know. I know.

You fucked my best friend. This is it for us.

Pippa told me she saw you and Diana together.

I am done looking like a fucking idiot.

You've been lying to Lucy all year.

- You've been lying to her for months. - PIPPA: What?

About Macy. Hiding the fact that your boyfriend's brother

may have been the reason she died. That would really hurt her.

LUCY: Stop. (GIGGLES) (WHISPERS) Stephen.

STEPHEN: (CHUCKLES) He's asleep.

LUCY: Stop. Shh! He's still here.

EVAN: He's the heaviest sleeper I know. Literally. Don't worry.

-(ALARM BLARES) - Oh, shit.

- Hey, good morning. - EVAN: Morning.

I'm gonna run some errands ahead of you guys,

so, just try and leave before noon, so you beat traffic.

Okay.

Hey, Evan. Thanks for inviting us all to the lake.

It'll be really nice to get away.

Yeah, for sure. It's tradition.

See you guys.

LUCY: See you.

("YOUNG FOLKS" PLAYING)

- Oh. Whose birthday is it? - A friend of mine.

That's nice of you. Mind if I see some ID?

Oh. It's yours. The big two-one. Happy birthday.

Now, why on Earth are you buying your own cake?

(CHUCKLES)

FEMALE VOICE: Excuse me.

Can I help you?

Um, no, I'm good. Thanks.

Does the family know you're here?

- The family? - The family who owns this house.

I'm in contact with them, and they never mentioned any guest coming.

(SCOFFS) Uh...

I don't think you know who owns this place because my family owns this place.

You can call Greg if you like.

FEMALE VOICE: (CHUCKLES) Excuse me?

Greg. The owner of the house you must be renting.

Yeah, he goes way back with my family, back when he bought the house from my dad.

See, we used to own both.

Look, I... I'll give Greg a call.

- You can't be too careful, I get it. - Oh, no, no. That's okay. Okay.

(SONG CONTINUES)

BREE: Oh, my God.

No way.

- What? - This is so pretty.

-(PIPPA LAUGHS) - Come on.

This place is crazy.

I don't know why he's here.

It just feels fucked up being in a house with him all weekend.

Yeah, I know. It was Wrigley's idea.

It's okay. It's not gonna ruin our weekend. We're good.

Okay, listen up. Just a few rules so my parents don't kill me.

Floors just got redone, so, please, everyone, take your shoes off,

leave them at the front. No glass by the pool.

- Make sure to... - I shotgun the master.

- Dude, I'm obviously in the master. - No. Rules of Shotgun must be followed.

It's my house, and I'm always in the master.

Yes, because you've always had a girlfriend. But now, you don't.

It's his birthday, Wrigley.

What are doing?

- BREE: What is his deal? - Oh, great.

- Hey, big boy. - PIPPA: What are you doing?

- What? God. Hey! Oh, my God. - Wrigley, what are you doing?

(GIGGLES, EXCLAIMS)

- PIPPA: No, no, no. - EVAN: Fuck.

- PIPPA: Oh! - WRIGLEY: Oh, my goodness.

This is incredible. What is this? This Egyptian cotton?

- Dude, what the fuck? All right, dude. - Oh, God.

This is the softest thing my gooch has ever touched.

All right, fine, fine, fine, fine. It's all yours. Please. Have it.

Oh, I've got... I've got more surprises.

Fireworks and cocaine.

(CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY)

Oh, shoot. You said no shoes in the house, huh?

That's my bad.

- Is that Cosette? - Oh. What?

- Cosette. My girl. - This is what we're thinking...

we're gonna soak her, and then we're gonna freeze her.

- What is this? - This is Cosette.

We found her in a thrift store in town freshman year.

And we were like, "We can totally destroy her."

- Yes! - Turns out it's really hard

to crack a bowling ball.

But we have been trying for three years every time we come up here.

-(PHONE CHIMES) - But this year, Cosette will crack!

- EVAN: Hey, hey. - All right.

Pretty, right?

Fuck.

- Hey. - Hello.

PIPPA: Hello.

Gorgeous.

- I... I'm not photogenic. - Sure you are.

- DREW: This is where I get it. - Pippa.

- What? - BREE: Look at me.

Oh, my gosh. Fun.

- Sorry. - Cuties.

Okay, you have to send those to me, so, I can make a Facebook album.

'Course.

Hey, guys. Get in the photo for Facebook.

Okay.

Come on. This is my good side. We gotta get this.

BREE: Ready? Three, two, one.

Got it.

Happy birthday. I'm glad you were born.

- Thanks. -(CHUCKLES)

(PIPPA SQUEALS)

(GRUNTS) Drew, you got water in everyone's drinks. Can you not?

Jesus.

- I'm rethinking this. - Just let me focus, please.

I don't think it's gonna work, Wrigley.

No. Water expands. This is science.

Well, that's only if it absorbs the water, and it won't because it's a bowling ball.

I'm sorry. I took... I took Intro to Chemistry twice.

- What are you majoring in? - What did you guys do with Cosette?

- Chemistry and Physics. - You speak physics?

Well, Cosette has been relegated to an icy-watery grave.

- Shit! -(ALL SCREAM)

Jesus.

No, no, no. It can be saved. It can be saved.

Stop!

- Paper towels, quick. - Yes, ma'am.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go. - Yes, ma'am.

- Can I... Thank you. - Yeah.

Sorry.

Hey, Evan, where's the linen closet?

I wanna get some fresh pillow cases for the...

Down the hall, to the left, by the screening room.

I feel very spoiled here, Evan. Our room has a massage chair in it.

- Oh, you got the room in the back. - Mm-hmm.

That's good. I was hoping you would get that one.

It's the most soundproof.

(WRIGLEY CHUCKLES)

- It's a joke. - It's a good one.

- Oh, no, no. - Oh, come on. If I can pose, you can pose.

You're a lot prettier than I am. So...

Bree, come try these.

- Wow. Thank you. - Very good, very strong.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey. I want a picture with you. It's okay.

- Evan. - Yo!

- WRIGLEY: Can you take a picture? - Yeah.

- Smile, it's for Mom. - Okay.

- One, two, three. - All right.

- Yeah, that's good. - WRIGLEY: All right. Thank you.

Yeah, sure.

What are you doing?

(CHUCKLES)

It'll totally fall off the ceiling. I promise.

- Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) - I'm kind of obsessed with these things.

- What? Slimy hands? - Yeah. When I was a kid,

they were like the one toy I could buy myself.

And they always had them in those little vending machines.

But it seems like you like them even more than I did.

Nah, I hate them, actually.

Then why do you have this pathologically large collection of them?

It's stupid. It's...

Oh, my God. Did anyone get you a birthday cake?

Yeah, I got one. It's in the fridge.

You got your own birthday cake?

(CHUCKLES) Why do people keep acting like that's weird?

You're funny.

You have even lower expectations of our friends than I do.

You... you play football?

Oh, yeah, for like a season, then I quit.

Really? Why?

Because that's what I do. I quit things, according to my dad.

I'm joking. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I just mean, I haven't quite figured out what I want to do yet.

And I think sometimes that worries my parents.

You've only been old enough to drink for like 12 hours,

so, I think you've got some time.

Yeah, I guess no one ever framed it like that before. It's true.

WRIGLEY: Sorry! Very sorry. My bad.

- My bad. - BREE: Shit.

I wish Wrigley would tone it down a little. It's just,

for some reason, being here, he's so much... louder...

- than he is on campus. - I guess campus is just, a lot bigger.

Guys, this house is palatial.

- I know. - I know.

- What do Evan's parents do for a living? - I'm betting they're finance people.

It's just so crazy that Evan's still so nice!

- Yeah, it is crazy. - If I had that much money,

I'd be a raging cunt every day, intentionally.

He's great!

- Aw. -(CHUCKLES)

I just wanna, like... jump on him, you know? But he's like,

giving me friend vibes, like, I don't know,

- like, maybe I imagined anything else... - PIPPA: No, no, no, no, no. He likes you.

He just forgot how to do this because he's had a girlfriend

for the past two years.

Bree, you have to take a picture of us in this insane bathroom.

Okay, get in the tub.

- In the tub? - In the tub?

Yeah, get in the tub.

Okay.

- PIPPA: Show the shoes. - Okay.

Yes. Oh, yes.

Magnifique!

- Look, I can see your underwear. - Ooh, yes.

- Sorry. - You're flashing your puss-wah.

- PIPPA: What? What is that? - LUCY: What?

I don't know. I'm taking French 101. I feel like pussy is puss-wah

in French.

- LUCY: Gotta savor this. - STEPHEN: Cheers.

- LUCY: Yeah, exactly. - STEPHEN: Cheers.

- LUCY: Here you go. - Oh. Thank you!

- Cheers. - Cheers, guys.

Cheers.

Puss-wah.

Who have you been texting?

Tallyho!

- PIPPA: Oh, my God! - LUCY: Oh, shit!

- Oh, my God! - Wrigley, what the fuck? Wrigley!

He's such a fucking idiot. I'll help you clean it.

- EVAN: Fuck! - LUCY: Well... Can we help, Evan?

No, it's... it's okay. It's just...

- Wrigley, what are you... - Oh, my God. Stop!

(GRUNTS LOUDLY)

Darn, you whore! Cosette is uncracked!

Wrigley. Wrigley. You know you're not at a frat party, right?

You know, this always happens when Wrigley does coke.

- Do you want me to talk to him? - EVAN: It's fine.

- Could you get the chairs for me? - Yeah.

- I just... - WRIGLEY: So sorry, dude. I...

I thought it was gonna hit the...

- It's fine. It's fine. - ...the ground, you know?

If... if it was gonna hit the table, I wouldn't have thrown it, obviously.

- It's fine. - Yeah, it's not.

Tell your parents I'm an idiot, and I'm gonna buy another table.

I... I'm gonna get some water.

- Hey. - That's a... a really cool penis.

Evan never said anything about, you know, "Nudity in the house" rule.

Yeah, I know you love your body 'cause you spend so much time on it,

but one day those massive pecs are gonna turn into Bob bitch tits.

I'd rather not look at them right now.

Hey, birthday boy.

Hey.

This must be your best birthday yet, huh?

EVAN: Yeah, just beat...

Yeah. I'm sorry.

I'm sure everyone will tone it down tomorrow, hopefully.

Well, you know, once Wrigley gets into the coke,

it's usually downhill from there.

- Yeah. Can I grab? - Yeah.

Look...

glittery eyes. Pippa gave 'em to me.

I think you owe it to the glitter to have a good night.

Are you not getting enough attention?

Sorry, I'm just trying to cheer you up.

I don't need you to. Thanks.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Okay, I put my clothes on.

Now, can we be best friends again and do some cocaine?

Come on.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Okay, okay, okay.

- Okay. - What?

Call me crazy. I feel like Cosette is, like,

a sloppy metaphor for the female college experience.

What do you mean?

- Well... -(PIPPA GIGGLES)

...she's pink.

And they're trying really fucking hard to destroy her.

Oh, God!

Drew's been doing better.

- You mean it? - Yeah.

He really is.

You know, it was weird growing up.

He was never a sad kid ever, so...

seeing him like that...

really freaked me out.

- Yeah. Of course. - It's been really fucking hard for me.

You know?

You've been a really good friend. Thank you, man.

- Yeah. - I can't stop being cheesy.

(GIRLS GIGGLING DISTANTLY)

So, you and Lucy are, like, the real thing now, huh?

That's great, man. I'm happy for you. Leave the Diana drama behind. Jesus.

Let's not talk about Diana.

- That's just... - Hi there.

- Hi. - Hey.

WRIGLEY: Look who decided to have fun.

- Hey. You're not still mad at me, are you? - Nope.

Hey, Evan.

Evan, are there like bears here?

Yeah, yeah, there are, actually.

- Scary. - Mooses, too.

Mooses. Moose.

What's the... what's the plural for moose?

- Meese. -(CHUCKLES) You would know that.

Ye... That postcard your sister sent you?

Um, what? (CHUCKLES) Bree doesn't have a sister.

EVAN: Oh, shit.

I'm... I'm really sorry.

No, that's... that's fine.

Yeah, my...

my old foster sister. She sent me a postcard last semester.

- It's... it's nothing, it's stupid. - You were in foster care?

Yeah, but it's not a big deal.

It's just you never mentioned it.

Well, that's because it was just never brought up.

- It's not like it's a secret. - Bree.

Do we have to do this right now in a hot tub?

I'm... I'm... really sorry. I thought you told them already.

BREE: No, it's fine.

I'm tired, actually.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna call it a night, too, actually.

- Do you wanna go upstairs? - Yeah.

WRIGLEY: Good night, Drew.

Wait.

You all right?

No, not really. Are you okay?

Watching Drew just go on with his life like nothing happened.

It's not just what he did to Macy. I mean, he could have killed you.

You can't focus on him. It's gonna drive you insane.

Isn't it driving you insane? Macy's dead, and he just gets to have fun

- and try to fuck up a bowling ball. - I know.

I think we should tell Macy's parents about Drew. I really do.

He ran you guys off the road I can't stop thinking about it.

I can't stop thinking about her. I think about her all the time.

All the time.

- Okay. Now... - And... and we should just tell them.

And they can decide what to do with it.

But I can't know this information and not say anything,

- it's fucking with my head. - Okay.

And it's not fair for them to live their lives thinking

that their daughter was this reckless drunk

when that's not true. It's not...

- Okay, I get it... I promise you. - Macy wasn't like that.

- I know, I know, I know. - I just feel so guilty hiding this.

If we tell Macy's parents, it's just more attention.

They'll talk to the police,

it won't just be a... an accident anymore.

People will start asking questions about that night. And I was there, Lucy.

That could ruin my life.

- It could fuck everything up. - I know. I know you were there.

But you did not do anything wrong. You were scared.

People won't see it that way.

I just... I would keep him away from Bree.

- You noticed that, right? - Yeah, yeah.

I thought I saw them flirting.

Yeah, Wrigley's really trying to make it happen.

- He wants Drew to get laid. - Fuck.

Wrigley should be focusing on his own shit.

- Yeah. - He hasn't even realized

Pippa's been texting someone all weekend.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I keep bringing this up,

and I'm s... I'm... I know this is so, so much worse for you.

- I know that. - It's easier that you're here.

You care about me, right?

You know I do.

(LOW-TEMPO TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUSIC ENDS)

Hey.

Morning.

Look...

I feel like shit about last night. I really wasn't trying to embarrass you.

I wasn't embarrassed.

Do you think it's embarrassing?

What? No, no, no, no, no.

That's... that's not what I'm saying at all. I...

I could just tell that you were, you know, obviously upset.

Yeah, yeah.

I... I wasn't embarrassed.

I just... I like being able to tell people things on my own terms, you know?

Now, they think I was hiding it when that's not what it was.

I just...

I don't go around telling people my business

if they don't ask 'cause everyone's so wrapped up in their own shit anyway

that if they want to know more, they'll make that clear.

Okay.

But, you know, I... I honestly think nobody would care.

You not saying anything kind of makes it a bigger deal

than it is, you know?

You don't understand what I'm trying to say.

- I'm trying to, though. - WRIGLEY: Ooh!

- PIPPA: Hey. - BREE: Hi.

- Hi. Good morning. - Good morning.

We still doing Canoe Olympics today?

- Yeah, yeah, of course. - What is that?

Two miles to the island, pee on the rock, two miles back.

Canoers must drink one beer per mile each, and one beer on the island.

Oh. The rock looks like boobs.

- PIPPA: That sounds so fun. - I think I'm gonna stay at the house.

Hey, Wrigley. Can you not leave your brother for us to babysit?

- Okay. What the... what is your problem? - Thanks.

He's harassing Bree. And you're like encouraging it.

She's not interested at all, okay?

He blew it, especially after Welcome Week.

What part of... what part of Welcome Week are you referring to?

When he ghosted her. It sucked.

WRIGLEY: Hey.

- STEPHEN: Here you go. - LUCY: Thank you.

You're gonna come with us. All right, don't be a pussy.

WRIGLEY: I don't know what's going on with her, but Lucy's hating on Drew,

- and I don't wanna start spiraling again. - What do you mean?

- Oh, come on. I'm sure you noticed. - No, I actually haven't.

I don't know what reality you're living in, dude,

but your girlfriend's texting someone else right in front of your face,

- and you're worried about Lucy. - I'm sorry. What? What the fuck?

By the way, dude, we invited Bree here for Evan,

and Drew's hanging all over her, like, really.

No. Evan... Evan's not interested in Bree.

What... what does it matter if Drew's talking to her?

- Talking to her, dude. - Oh, my God. It's his birthday.

You should really talk to him. I think he's getting annoyed.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Really? - Yeah, really.

All right, boys.

Drew, you're in the canoe with me.

- Let's ride. - Hey, speech?

Wrigley.

Evan, get the cooler! Evan, get the cooler!

- Paddle. Paddle. Paddle. - STEPHEN: Go, Drew.

WRIGLEY: Paddle. Paddle.

STEPHEN: Come on, Drew.

LUCY: Wow, that is strong.

Hey, did you talk to Bree yet about last night?

No, I haven't. Have you?

No, I don't know if she wants us to talk to her about it, or... Hey!

BREE: Hey.

- LUCY: Hi. - PIPPA: It is so beautiful out here.

- LUCY: So beautiful. - PIPPA: Do you want?

This is bullshit. You guys are so uncomfortable.

- What? - What? No, we're not.

Okay. (SIGHS)

I had a single mom who was really young, had a lot of issues.

So, she tried to take care of me, but she couldn't.

So, then I went to go live with my grandma, but she died.

So, I went back to my mom, but that was a mess.

So, I wound up in a foster family. I've been in three different homes,

two of them were great, one of them wasn't. And now I'm an adult.

Bree, you could have told us. We love you.

Yeah, but...

when did you guys ever ask about my family?

We talked about your family a little bit. Like, your mom does retail.

Yeah, she does do retail.

As far as I know.

I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm saying.

We're assholes and... and we should've...

asked about you. That's crazy.

Yeah, no... I... We're the worst.

You're not. You guys are just busy thinking about other things.

Change of subject!

- Okay... - Go.

It seems like Drew's been following you around all weekend.

But if I had to choose, I prefer you with Evan.

Maybe I should play a matchmaker.

I can't believe how far ahead your brother is.

He's a beast!

Hey, is... is Lucy mad at me about something?

Lucy?

Um...

No, she hasn't said anything. Why?

Are you worried Pippa told her or something?

'Cause she definitely didn't, Lucy doesn't know anything.

Wait, what?

No, I'm just saying.

Lucy doesn't know about the accident.

Pippa didn't tell her.

But, Pipp... Pippa doesn't know about the accident. Does she?

- What the fuck, dude? What the fuck? - Stop. Calm down, calm down. Look forward.

Look forward. Look forward. You're gonna capsize us. Stop.

It's fine. Completely fine. Fuck.

Sorry, dude. I... I really thought he told you.

Told me what?

He told Pippa.

Like, ages ago.

I don't even think they were officially together.

Are you serious?

Don't worry, she's not gonna tell anyone.

But if I were you, I wouldn't trust him with everything anymore, you know?

Yeah. And what if he breaks up with her?

- WRIGLEY: Do it for Cosette! - EVAN: I'm trying!

Hey!

So, what's your deal with Bree?

- What do you mean? We're friends. - So, you don't see her as anything else?

No, I mean I... I see her, she's gorgeous.

- But you know, we're just friends. - Okay, 'cause Ste...

- She's nice. - ...'cause Stephen told me

that there might be something between you and her,

and I see Drew making moves. I feel like it might be good for him.

Stephen thinks there's something with me and Bree?

Yeah, but, the fuck does he know, you know?

What... Did she say anything?

I don't know the details.

Are you gonna shotgun her?

What? No, what are you talking about? She's our... she's our friend, Wrigley.

I'm not gonna shotgun her. Are you serious?

I... I don't want Drew to mess anything up if you're into her.

But if you're not, then I wanna let him know

that he has the green light.

Oh, so, you want me to call dibs on her just in case I might be interested later?

Unless you're okay with Drew making a move.

I... You know, I just don't want things to get messy.

Well, yeah.

I... I guess tell him not to then.

WRIGLEY: Oh, so... so you are calling shotgun?

Yeah. Whatever, dude. Shotgun, I guess.

WRIGLEY: All right, cool. That's all I needed to know.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Wrigley! They're here! Hurry up!

(CHUCKLES) Wrigley can't pee on command!

- Oh my God! Look out! - No, no, no! No!

- Go, Drew, go! - EVAN: Wrigley! Hurry up!

Come on. Let's beat these fuckers.

Let's go, baby!

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

- Fuck! - WRIGLEY: Eat my ass,

you fucking losers! Yes!

I am the king of the sea! I am the king of the sea!

Oh, hey. Evan has officially called shotgun on Bree.

Let it be known. Let it be known.

Nobody needed to shotgun her. She's not a seat in a car.

- Oh, wha... Come on! - Yeah, that's what I said.

It's just a phrase!

I was just fucking around.

- You know, I was fuck... - Yeah.

- PIPPA: Four! - Whores!

Fill up, whores!

- STEPHEN: Okay, me. - LUCY: Oh, you.

STEPHEN: Give me a...

Fuck, yeah! Jack.

- Good one. - New rule.

Okay, everyone has to pull out their phones and you gotta pass it

to the person to your left and then they have to read

your last text message or you have to finish your drink.

- Okay, wait. What? No. Fuck, no. - That's a good rule!

Fuck that. I'm not doing that. Nah.

- Oh, what's wrong? - No problem.

What's wrong with your texts? Are they that bad?

Pippa, come on. Let's... let me just read your texts.

No, I... I finished my drink, so, I don't have to.

All right, my turn.

Five. Never have I ever.

Never have I ever cheated on someone before.

What? You've cheated on people?

On everyone!

Except for you, probably. I don't know.

I've never cheated on you.

Why? I'm like... special or something?

Yeah.

LUCY: Okay, it's my turn.

- Oh, God. - Jack. Rule master.

Every time Bree drinks...

drum roll, please.

She has to kiss Evan.

ALL: Ooh!

- Shit. - Oh, no. Thumb master.

- PIPPA: Oh, Bree! You have to. - LUCY: You have to.

- Kiss him. - Rules are rules.

- LUCY: Oh! - Ow!

LUCY: So cute.

Four! Whores.

LUCY: Mm! Mm!

Bree drink, you have to kiss Evan. You really have to. It's the rule.

Aw! I like it, I do like it, but I wanna feel more heart

between you guys. I'm just trying to make love happen.

Oh, my God.

WRIGLEY: Oh, wow.

(EXCLAIMS)

Never have I ever...

menstruated.

- BREE: Cheap shot. - You know what that means?

WRIGLEY: I never have. I never have. Please drink.

LUCY: Bree, you gotta kiss,

and you gotta get some tongue in there, 'cause the people want a show.

(ALL CHEER)

- Okay. - LUCY: That's good.

- Can you take a picture of us? - Sure.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Stephen, you should totally make that your profile picture.

(MOCKINGLY) Oh, my God. I might.

- STEPHEN: Oh! - LUCY: Ooh!

- Bree. - That's thumbs, Bree.

You know what that means.

Come... Rules are rules!

- Oh, come on. That wasn't a kiss. - Nice.

- That wasn't a kiss. - All right, look. I think I... I'm done.

This... Rules are fucked up and I...

- Boner check! Show me your penis! - Hey, stop it! The fuck is wrong you?

Sick of this shit.

He did not like my rule.

- Hey, Lucy. Let's get you some water. - Okay? No, I have to go apologize.

- I'll get her water. I got it. Come on. - No, no, no, no.

- No, I got it. - Let her sit.

No, it's okay. I just have to pee, that's all.

Thank you for staying with me while I pee.

It's all good, my puss-wah.

I feel like girls should always go to the bathroom together.

You know, like... especially while we're drinking, we should do that.

Okay. You know, I'll watch you pee any time. So...

That's, like, a lot of your pee hands.

- Sorry. - That's okay.

Hey, are you sure you're okay?

'Cause you... Just kinda...

kinda seems like you're not.

Just, like, I drank a little bit more than everyone did today.

Hey.

What? Hey, what? What?

I shouldn't have let Macy go to that party alone.

I mean, Hey.

There's like... it's okay.

There's no way that you could've known.

It's not okay.

It's not. I was mean to her,

and I was a shitty roommate, and... and I hate

that she went to that party alone thinking that I was mean to her.

(SNIFFLES)

Hey.

I'm sorry we don't really talk about this.

Maybe we should.

There's a lot, Pippa.

-(DISTANT EXPLOSION) -(GASPS)

- What the hell was that? - What?

- Holy shit. -(COUGHS)

What the fuck? You fucking blew her up, dude! This is incredible! You did it!

- Did it hit you? You're bleeding. - Oh, he's fine. He's fine.

- Don't. - Now, come on.

- Just chill out and give me a hug. - Fuck off, dude!

Fuck all of you guys, all right?

Been telling me to chill all week, and I can't fucking chill!

Look at how you act!

And you do it because you think I'll just deal with it

and act like you're not complete fucking assholes.

But guess what? you're all fucking assholes!

You're not my fucking friends.

None of us are fucking friends!

We don't listen to each other.

We don't care about each other.

And... and I just have a feeling that that's...

that's just how I'mma feel about each and every one of you. Always.

STEPHEN: Buddy, you wanna come inside?

Stop telling me what the fuck to do, Stephen!

Let's go inside.

Hey. Bree.

-(KNOCK ON DOOR) - BREE: Hey.

- LUCY: Hey. - I don't know where Evan is.

- Hey, wake up. - I am.

Evan!

Evan!

WRIGLEY: Evan!

Evan, we're sorry!

BREE: Evan?

Evan!

Hey. Wake up.

(COUGHS, RETCHES)

Fuck. (GASPS) I'm sorry.

- BREE: It's okay. -(COUGHS)

Did... did you fall asleep out here?

I think I was trying to make my way back to campus.

- Right. Wait, wait. - Just...

Don't... don't try to stand up just yet. You might have a concussion.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

I think Cosette got me when I was trying to kill her.

Yeah, it's... it's pretty bad.

I'm sorry for yelling at everybody.

Hey.. (SCOFFS) ...they deserved it.

- I just feel so much pressure. - What do you mean?

Because...

everybody thinks I'm so nice.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - You don't have to apologize.

Our friends are stressful.

I love them, but...

I feel like we just don't...

understand each other sometimes.

(SCOFFS)

I know what you mean.

But you don't always have to be nice to them, you know?

I'll still like you.

Oh, yeah?

Have you really not noticed how much I like you?

I guess I'm an idiot. I haven't noticed a lot of shit.

(SIGHS)

Should we try and go back?

All right, I'm gonna be good for this walk.

- Oh, yeah? - Watch.

- Okay. - Oh, fuck.

- Okay. Okay. - Please help.

- You got it. Okay, just take it slow. - All right.

All right.

You don't have to answer this, but...

what do your parents do for a living?

My dad invented the materials used for slimy hands.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God.

Sorry, that's just...

EVAN: No, no, no. It's... it's pretty funny, actually.

ALL: (SINGING) Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Evan

Happy birthday to you

- Hey! - Yeah!

Thanks, guys.

And, look, you know, coke makes me a little crazy, so, please don't take

- anything I said serious. - Hey, hey. Hey.

Don't apologize to these assholes.

Your birthday was two days ago and we're just now singing to you.

Yeah, it was an epic weekend. And you alone conquered Cosette.

Yeah, let me cut you a slice.

Nah, I think I'll get some later. I'mma ice my head.

And, since it's my birthday,

you guys clean up.

- Oh, okay. - Okay.

(ALL CHUCKLE)

Well, you look really cozy. You ready to go? Got everything packed?

Yeah. I'm just trying to savor this mattress

before I have to go back to my dorm bed.

- With your shoes on? - Sorry.

Guess I'm just kinda gross like that.

Well, I can safely say

that you are the least gross person in this house.

- Is this okay? - Yes.

Yeah, it's more than okay.

("I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK" PLAYING)

(MOANS)

(GASPS)

(SONG ENDS)

(SCOFFS)

- All right, everybody ready? - Let's go.

Fuck! This is all wet.

Jesus, I borrowed this from school.

Somebody must have kicked it in the pool.

- Can I... can I see it? - Shit.

- It's broken. - Is the button working?

- EVAN: No. - Hold it down.

EVAN: Nothing.

Shit.

So many good pictures of us in there.

EVAN: Let me see if I can go dry it for you

- before we go. - BREE: Okay. Thanks.

EVAN: Yeah, no worries.

Hey, dude.

I'm sorry we got our balls crossed this weekend.

I know I can be an asshole, but I got nothing but love for you.

- Come here. - Bring it in.

- Drive safe. - Yeah, you too.

("SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT" PLAYING)

(SONG ENDS)